Scene in the Tropics

Affairs of the Heat: Miami Heat player's alleged late night double dribbling

We hear that a very taken Miami Heat player is having an affair with someone who lives in the King Cole condo in North Beach. Says our spy, "He's there around midnight after every home game." Our spy isn't exaggerating. According to security, this player has repeatedly shown up at midnight and after asking for a particular woman's apartment. The thing is, that woman is not his significant other. Girlfriend shouldn't be too shocked considering that not too long ago she was the one with whom her beloved baller was sneaking around.

Mourning Foundation's Wings & Wine event with Bobby Deen & Jill Scott canceled

The Mourning Family Foundation's inaugural Wings & Wine event February 20 at The Raleigh in collaboration with TV chef and Paula's son Bobby Deen and featuring Grammy Award winning Jill Scott as entertainment has been canceled. And though you'd think it was ixnayed due to the recent DUI arrest of Tracy Mourning, wife of retired basketball player and philanthropist Alonzo, officials say the cancellation is unrelated. "The timing is really unfortunate, though," said a publicist.

Dwyane Wade's ex mother-in-law: he lied to Oprah!

[Wade & the ex in happier times]

Just a few weeks before Dwyane Wade heads back into a Chicago courtroom to battle it out again with his ex wife, Siohvaughn, this time on visitation issues, Wade's ex mother-in-law, Darlene Funches, put out this exclusive statement through a publicist who described Funches as a, "virtual surrogate mom to Dwyane and biological grandmother of those two gorgeous Wade grandsons." We sent it to Dwyane Wade's publicist but didn't hear back. Sit back for this one--it's a long, bumpy ride.

My name is Darlene Funches; I am the mother of Siohvaughn Funches-Wade, the grandmother of Zion and Zaire Wade—and the ex-mother-in-law of NBA star Dwyane T. Wade Jr.

You may have read about some of the ugly things that have happened in the divorce proceedings, and especially the child custody battle, between my daughter and ex-son-in-law. Because Dwyane is a rich and powerful man, it’s his side of the story that is most often portrayed in these stories. Such as the occurrences on June 16, 2012, when Dwyane had my daughter arrested for kidnapping her own children. Regarding this incident, Dwyane went on “Oprah’s Next Chapter” and sat in that chair across from Oprah … and lied to her.

He told her that “the day before game 3 of the NBA finals, his sister Tragil was scheduled to pick up his sons from their mother’s home; there was no answer. For eight hours, family members were unable to find the boys and their mother.” There’s a court transcript that reveals this version of events as a series of lies.

First, it was it was actually Dwyane’s younger half-sister Marrya McDaniels who went to pick up the children at Siohvaughn’s home, and NOT Tragil Wade. This may seem like a small point, but his younger half-sister was NOT a court-appointed authorized individual to facilitate transportation for parenting time.

Dwyane told Oprah he was worried about the boys when they couldn’t be found. Why, then, does his half-sister’s testimony reveal that she never attempted to contact Siohvaughn at all on that day when she went to pick up the children? And why did she testify that at some point after 4 p.m. (which is the same time that the Cook County Sheriff’s police arrived), she saw from a neighbor’s residence that the children were being safely supervised in the pool of Siohvaughn’s home enjoying themselves? It was considerably less than the eight hours during which Dwyane claims “family members were unable to find the boys and their mother.”

Despite what Dwyane’s younger half-sister’s testimony clearly indicates—that she saw the children supervised in the pool of Siohvaughn’s home—Siohvaughn was arrested and charged with two counts of child abduction and unlawful visitation interference. But on Aug. 13, 2012, justice was served! ALL these charges were dropped in the Markham Court by prosecutors. And yet no one heard that news.

The efforts to destroy the life of my daughter and her children, sadly, are coming from the person who once came to my door with just two black garbage bags to his name. Dwyane entered my life not long after the death of my firstborn child, Garrica, a premed student who was killed in a car accident on her way back to school. God allowed me to do for Dwyane exactly what I did for Siohvaughn and Garrica: By His grace, I provided a safe home environment for Dwyane; I fed, clothed, sheltered, educated and encouraged Dwyane to pursue and fulfill his dreams. I took him to the doctor and hospital when he was sick, filled his prescriptions, tended his wounds, and even defended him against his own father, who abused him. I took Dwyane Wade Jr., then 17, to get his driver’s license; I opened up his first checking account and taught him how to write checks and balance his check book, and provided him with his own debit card; I motivated Dwyane by rewarding him for his good report cards and grades.

I remember when Dwyane knocked on my door late one Friday night in May of 1999, and asked me if I had meant it when I said I would never let a kid go hungry or have no place to live or not have what they needed to go to school, or no clothes to wear. I told him I did, and he said, “Mama, I’m home.” I found out that Dwyane was kicked out during one of many abusive and violent episodes at his home between his father and stepmother.

Before Dwyane moved in permanently, there were many explosive fights in his home and many nights when he and his younger half-sister Marrya McDaniels (the same sister that on June 16, 2012, was outside my daughter’s home with police to have my daughter arrested) came knocking on my door because it was late and they had no place to go to. They would spend the night, and I would go looking for their parents to bring them back home. Once, after Dwyane had permanently moved into my home, Dwyane sustained an injury when Wade Sr. clotheslined him in the throat. When he told me what had happened, I got in my car and drove over to Dwyane Wade Sr.’s house and confronted him. I stated very clearly to him that if he ever put his hand on Dwyane again, I would personally make sure that he sat in a jail cell for as long as the sentence could be mandated by the law. To this day, I have never been told that Dwyane’s dad ever put his hands physically on him again. I bless God for that, because God did not allow me to fear him.

When Dwyane began attending Marquette University, I worked with his coach to set up a surgical procedure on his knee; worked with the physical therapist on Dwyane’s rehabilitation; worked with another coach to schedule dental appointments and orthodontic surgeries. My repayment was this: Dwyane and his attorneys went to court to remove my daughter off the NBA health insurance plan. Even worse, the Cook County Court’s Family Division went along with Dwyane and his attorneys.

It was right after the NBA draft in June 2003 that Dwyane’s transformation for the worse began. Then it escalated to an unbelievable level that was, in my opinion, officially sanctioned when Cook County Court enabled him to now become “legally abusive.” Dwyane is no longer physically putting his hands on my daughter; however, he continues to verbally, psychologically and financially abuse my daughter and my grandsons—by using his money and influence to keep his children away from their mother. Dwyane’s decision to take my grandchildren away from their mother was not an act of love, but of punishment, selfishness and hate—and the manifestation of a pattern of domestic violence.

This isn’t the first time wealth and fame has revealed its power to corrupt. I just hope that Dwyane Wade will wake up to what he has allowed himself to become and to get right with God. Dwyane’s greatest offenses have not been to his wife, his children or me—his greatest offenses have been to God.

[End of statement.]

And to Oprah. No one--besides Tom Cruise & James Frey &.. oh, never mind.

LeBron James makes it a New Year's 'rock'-in eve, getting engaged at Shelborne

 

LeBron James is no longer a free agent. The Heat player proposed to longtime girlfriend Savannah Brinson with, says our spy, "a huge pear-shaped rock" at a New Year's Eve dinner at the Shelborne hosted by Remy Martin V, Gabrielle Union, Dwyane Wade and Chris Bosh.

While the dinner started three hours late and appetizers were still being served at 11:45 p.m., guests including model Jessica White and Nas, enjoyed "plenty of Remy" while waiting for their food, leading to one unfortunate guest losing her balance and the creation of a new catch phrase "Blame it on the Remy."

Following the engagement, James, who turned 27 on Friday, was surprised with a tremendous birthday cake with "LJ" on the top. While making her way through the crowd, Queen Latifah stopped to give James and mother Gloria a "quick group hug," ultimately causing a "huge traffic jam." Latifah along with Shelborne's New Year's Eve headliner Lauryn Hill, sang happy birthday.

Also in attendance, James's kids, eating French fries in between one on one time with daddy, who "immediately picked them up and swung them around right after the proposal." Following the dinner, James and crew headed to the massively crowded SL Nighclub pool party where they conducted the New Year's countdown. Nothing like the romantic backdrop of a South Beach New Year's Eve party to propose. Then again, it was a private dinner within a public party. Nonetheless, we wish James and Brinson a major mazel tov.

Birthday cake by Divine Delicacies

Weekend Wrap-up: Cougars, newlyweds, Ke$ha, & cheating NBA has-beens, oh my!

It was a busy weekend having nothing to do with Lindsay Lohan's release from jail or Chelsea Clinton's nuptials. Between Rihanna in town and T.I. marrying his girlfriend, Tameka "Tiny" Cottle at the Miami Beach courthouse and then on Star Island, it was almost A-list. We emphasize almost because the not quite a singer named Ke$ha, whom we prefer to call Ke¢ha, was here, too, opening for Rihanna at her Saturday AAA show. Before heading to Cameo late Saturday night, where Rihanna,  Nelly, Ashanti, Usher, Jermaine Dupri and T.I. were hanging out (because Cameo's exactly where you'd choose to go directly after getting hitched), Ke¢ha was spotted at the Robert Plant show at Bayfront, where we hope she sent her song "Tik Tok" on its own Stairway to Heaven. Meanwhile, over at Club Play Friday, ex basketball wife Shaunie O'Neal was seen with 23-year-old model boyfriend Marlon Yates. According to our source, Yates "Followed her around like a young puppy."  Of course he did. After her first marriage to an alleged philanderer didn't work out, the ex Mrs. Shaq obivously hired herself the best dog whisperer money could buy. And speaking of philandering, our inbox was full this morning after a deep throat with a deep seated vendetta sent us countless emails between a certain ex NBA player and a certain Miami philanthropist. Apparently said NBA has-been, a married man, did what lots of wealthy athletes do: he cheated on his wife. And with words like the following, if we were his wife, we'd let the other woman have him: "I wanted to take your clothes off right there and LICK YOU.... I was fine. I came right home and took a cold shower and went to bed. And I didn't think about no one on the trip. I couldn't call you from Michigan because I was with the family. So what are we going to do about us?" As for the "us," well, as far as we know, that's done already. And as for why we're keeping this anonymous, let's just say we have Spam written by more famous people than this email. We just  hope the wife in this case gets hold of that same dog whisperer Shaunie O'Neal used.

Odds are, LeBron James will figure out the difference between Miami & South Beach

Not since Pope John Paul II visited Miami back in 1987 has the arrival of anyone--not Madonna, not Lady Gaga, not Shaquille O'Neal, not Queen Elizabeth II, not even President Obama-- sparked such enormous hype, excitement and delusional thinking unbridled optimism, but lo and behold, the basketball player who refers to himself as King James has been crowned as this city's official savior. And if LeBron James can sell those empty condos on Biscayne Boulevard, heck, if he can dig this city out of its real estate slump, which some people are saying he can, then even us non sports fans may sign up as his loyal disciples. In the meantime, it's way too premature to predict that the arrival of the messiah by way of Cleveland can do anything but play a fantastic game of basketball.

And, perhaps, party like royalty. After all, James keeps referring to the fact that he will be playing in South Beach. And while we have no doubt about that, technically, he is playing for the Miami Heat. Us locals weren't the only ones taking note of that not so Freudian slip. Oddsmaker Steve Ricci of SBR Forum also perked up when he heard that and told us exclusively that "He referred to playing in South Beach, not Miami. That tells us he plans on taking advantage of nightlife perks. And when you're a celebrity at night in South Beach, all bets are off. He's a long way from Cleveland. That said, we're still favoring the NO side on both entertainment prop odds---for now."  As for the questions those odds are based on? 

1. Will a woman claim to have had an affair with LeBron James (whose longtime girlfriend Savannah Brinson is the mother of James's two children) during the 2010-2011 NBA season?

    Yes +150 (or 3 to 2)

     No -175 (or 4 to 7)

2. Will LeBron James be detained by police in South Beach/Miami during the 2010-2011 NBA season?

    Yes +175 (or 7 to 4)

    No -200 (or 1 to 2)

What do you think?

Dwyane Wade's ex sues galpal Gabrielle Union for "emotional distress"

It feels like decades ago when we outed Miami Heat's golden child Dwyane Wade and Gabrielle Union after a little rendez vous at the Ritz Carlton Key Biscayne. Since then, Wade and Union have never officially admitted they were an item, but actions spoke louder than words. Proving that point is Wade's ex wife Siohvaughn Wade, who has just filed a lawsuit against Union for inappropriate conduct around the estranged couple's young children. According to the Chicago Sun Times, the ex Mrs. Wade "claims Gabrielle Union 'engaged in sexual foreplay with Dwyane Wade' in front of Wade's 8-year-old and 2-year-old sons while on an unsupervised visitation to the basketball star's Miami home." The lawsuit, which was filed Tuesday in Cook County Circuit Court, also claims that Wade's oldest son was "allowed to play unsupervised in or around the Miami home's pool at night. Wade and Union ignored the boy, whose 'screams and cries' eventually got the attention of Wade's mother, Jolinda Wade, who took the boy inside." The lawsuit goes into other claims, all involving the safety or lack thereof of their children. Ex Mrs. Wade is seeking more than $50,000 from Union, but we have a feeling it has nothing whatsoever to do with the money.