Scene in the Tropics

And you are? The Art Basel celebrity blitzkrieg (or lack thereof)

Not all celebrities piss their money away on booze, pills and Bentleys--they get all those for free. Some actually pay for art. Serious collectors include Madonna, David Bowie, the Beckhams, Leonardo DiCaprio, Steve Martin, Kate Moss, Brangelina, Ellen DeGeneres and Oprah. And while we'd raise every single Kardashian past, present, and future for any one of the aforementioned, not all will appear at Art Basel because, well, they have people who do that for them. Then there are those who appear at the art fairs under the guise of being a collector, and those who are actually interested in art and not just the Patrick McMullan photo op. Whatever the case, we'll take 'em. So far, the name dropping is underwhelming plus or minus a few exceptions (see below and see our earlier post on all the parties), and the sightings pretty much nonexistent. Last year's Art Basel Miami Beach Most Ubiquitous Celebrity was a tie between Catherine Zeta-Jones and Michael Douglas and Naomi Campbell. Who, if anyone, will take the title this year? Stay tuned.

Celebrity Spawn: It's not nepotism, it's just lucky genes. Oh, and, in some cases, talent. Will Smith's 20-year-old son Trey, aka DJ AcE, will do his best to prove the latter when he spins a four-hour set Friday, December 7 at swank karaoke lounge Jelsomino. On Saturday, he'll spin at Bâoli Miami for a crowd said to include his famous dad and stepmom Jada.  Yep, it's part of Basel, but more importantly, Justin Bieber's a Trey fan. Art, what?

Artist Spawn: Vito Schnabel, 26, is the art dealer son of artist and filmmaker Julian Schnabel. The younger Schnabel is also reportedly dating Demi Moore, who at 50, is closer in age to the elder Schnabel, 61. May-December, December-May, all we care about is this December, specifically the 6th, when the couple may emerge together at the big Dom Pérignon Luminous Rosé party at Wall.

Channeling Vanna White (Or An Executioner): On Thursday, December 6, former Entourage star Jeremy Piven, front runner for Art Basel's Most Random Celebrity, will flip the switch on the InterContinental Miami’s new 19-story LED Digital Canvas. The event will also feature a specially curated exhibit, “Light Show,” by Patrick McMullan, and an appearance by legendary Warholian Factory worker Ultra Violet, who will showcase one of her 9/11 sculptures. We asked a PR rep about Piven's involvement and she said, "Piven and the characters he has portrayed embody an aura of confidence and coolness that reflect the InterContinental Miami’s brand. Our $30 million renovation is fashion forward, cosmopolitan and contemporary. We wanted to align our hotel with someone that evokes the here and now – someone that’s willing to take a chance – someone who loves Miami. Jeremy is all of these things."

And a whole lot more, apparently. According to our spy, Piven, who bailed from the flip switching because he said the digital images of a dancing woman was bad for his image (!) was hot on the trail of a comely redhead seen dining with him and an, uh, entourage, at the InterContinental's Toro Toro. Said redhead we're told, "wouldn't give him the time of day," although she may have given him the time of the previous day. Says our spy, "She snubbed him and he was pissed." He wasn't the only one.

Less Than Six Degrees of Lindsay Lohan: Spanish artist Domingo Zapata may or may not have been dating Lindsay Lohan, but his profession of love for her on Twitter was a masterpiece of performance art. Then there was that unfortunate Porsche incident that had the even less fortunate connection to The Real Housewives of Miami. But that was in September. Fast forward to today and Zapata has reportedly traded up and may or may not be dating Scarlett Johansson. Whatever the deal is there, it did give the folks throwing the big VIP dinner honoring Zapata Friday night at the SLS South Beach a free pass to drop Johansson's name as one of the expected guests. Whether she will appear in name only is yet to be seen, but it may be the first time you'll see Johansson's name in the same sentence as Pitbull. He's on the list too, and probably has his own ties to the trainwreck whose portrayal of Elizabeth Taylor had seismologists thinking the rumblings from below was The Big One. Also on Zapata's guest list for the unveiling of one of his murals at Wall nightclub: former Lohan BFF Paris Hilton, Owen Wilson, Stephen Dorff and George Clooney's ex, Elizabetta Canalis.

The Art of the Stalk: The actual VIP preview of Art Basel at the Convention Center is ripe with sightings of real life artists, art lovers and celebs. Plus a few crashers and self important types. But enough about those. That overly manicured woman decked out in labels? No pot to piss in. The schlumpy one? That's Diane von Furstenberg. Oh, there's Puff Diddy too. Basel, Switzerland gets Brad Pitt, Miami gets Puffy Daddy. Talk about an unfair exchange rate. Then there's Will Ferrell, hiding under a baseball cap and behind a mustache that's far from ironic, no doubt looking for fodder and comedic inspiration in all the Basel dizzle. That, or he really just wants to buy some art. He was, after all, at a big bash for artist Christian Marclay at the original art festival in Switzerland. As for his mustache, this may be its first Basel experience.

We'll Always Have Paris: Then there's the Paris Hilton factor. As 2003 as it may be, the one who started it all, the famous-for-nothing heiress who many blame for the inexplicable phenom that is the Kardashian, doesn't miss an Art Basel or a photo op. She's baack! Like it or not, people are still fascinated (or appalled) by her. We witnessed an amused Micky Arison glaring at Hilton and her sister Nicky last year at Aby Rosen's chichi Dutch dinner party. This year is no different.Just ask the people at Diane von Furstenberg's lunch Wednesday launching the designer's limited edition Evian bottle. Sure, Chelsea Handler and beau Andre Balazs were there as was Russell Simmons, but Paris and sister Nicky still know how to work a crowd.

Desperate Housewives: Overheard at The Webster, where Martha Stewart (in the running for Basel's Most Ubiquitous--see below) and Hollywood's most prominent proboscis, Owen Wilson, were also seen at Valentino's Pop Pois Capsule Collection party: Lady in red-There's that woman from Desperate Housewives! Lady in chartreuse-The drag queen? Red-No, Marcia Cross! Cross was also seen with her husband Tom Mahoney Wednesday night at The Hole Gallery and Playboy’s party at the Delano. Also there: switch flipper Jeremy Piven (see above). (Photo/

Serg Alexander/Getty Images)

 

Martha, Martha, Martha! : Despite, gasp,  suffering salmonella poisoning from turkeys at Thanksgiving, Martha Stewart is fully recovered and making her rotations in a carefully choreographed way only she can, often seemingly seen in three places at once like she was last night, first at theaforementioned Valentino party, then making napkin origami eating at South Street restaurant and later appearing at the chichi Haute Living and Roger Dubuis Dom Perignon dinner with Dubuis ambassador, artist and (not so ironically) beer heiress Daphne Guinness at Villa Azur. Also seen there: diminuitive actor Stephen Dorff, most recently starring in a wet bathing suit with BFF Owen Wilson in Rio on Perez Hilton's website. And while Wilson & Dorff (also in the running for Basel's Most Ubiquitous) are in their youthful 40s, no one parties younger than the 71-year-old Stewart, who is also expected at Thursday night's Reprise Parisienne at Villa 221, a Cirque du Soleil on mood enhancing drugs featuring bearded ladies, among other things, that's also expected to attract, among others, Macaulay Culkin, whom, last we saw, could stand to benefit from a Stewart-curated cookie or twenty. Benefiting from the talents of Michael Schwartz and Hedy Goldsmith, Martha had lunch Thursday with South Beach Wine & Food Festival's Lee Schrager at Michael's Genuine Food & Drink. (Photo/Wireimage)

Stewart v. Wilson & Dorff: Dorff separated from his boy Owen for a brief time at the Chanel and Art.sy affair at Soho Beach House last night, but he wasn't alone--Martha was there too. Watch out, Owen, you're on the verge of being replaced.

L'ésprit de Chanel: About that Chanel shindig. It was a scene that would have made Coco proud despite a few earlier disinivitations to some prominent Miami art folk. But it wasn't about Miami last night, it was about Demi Moore, who contrary to other reports wasn't acting weird, she was just having a good time. In Chanel. In town with her new boytoy Vito Schnabel. Demi, we've been expecting you. Also at the Chanel dinner that raised over $1 million to benefit the Dash Snow Initiative for the Henry Street Settlement: Lenny Kravitz and Stacy Keibler (!). Seen at the after party: Will Ferrell, not to be confused with Pharrell, who was also there and just listed his Miami penthouse at $16.8 million, Twilight's Kellan Lutz, Naomi Campbell (last year's most ubiquitous), and did we mention Martha Stewart? (Photos/Getty Images/Dimitrios Kambouris) 

Moore, Moore, Moore: Moore was also seen ushering in the new flash season of Le Baron at chic karaoke lounge Jelsomino. While she didn't do any renditions of Kurt Weill's "September Song," she and pal Stacey Keibler were, says our spy, "Having girly time," and were there with some male pals but alas, no 26-year-old boytoy Vito Schnabel.

Double Dutch Bustle: It was a surrealistic painting come to life at the Thursday night dinner thrown by real estate tycoon Aby Rosen and wife/shrink/socialite Samantha Boardman at The Dutch. A name dropper's heaven, the night was straight out of a Tom Wolfe novel, where tycoons mixed with reality schlock, heirs, heiresses and Owen Wilson. In one corner: the Kardashians--Kim and Kourtney, who just joined for dessert; in another, Paris and Nicky Hilton. There was also Paris's ex Stavros Niarchos with his model girlfriend Jessica Hart, Chelsea Handler and Andre Balazs, Stephen Dorff and the young Brant boys (Peter Jr. and Harry) who make Gossip Girl look like Sweet Valley High . Then there was the after party at Wall where Carmelo Anthony, Gavin DeGraw, and Kellan Lutz rubbed elbows with artists and socialites they've never heard of and where Kanye West flipped the bird. Klassy. Absent? Demi Moore (seen, instead, strolling around The Shore Club with a small group) despite the fact that her rumored beau was throwing the party. Let the pictures do the talking.(Photos/Joe Schildhorn /BFAnyc.com Copyright: ©BFA)

The List (hint: you're not on it). Art Basel parties you can't get into

Art Basel Miami Beach has an artist acceptance rate of 38%, yet a party crashing, freeloader acceptance rate of 100+% That being said, it's not going to be easy to worm your way into all the parties even if you go dressed as a hobo--er, boho, an eccentric art person or Olsen twin.

The following are the parties we'd be very impressed if you were able to crash; this list will be updated as more information rolls in, but in the meantime, let's not forget The Greatest Art Basel Party in the History of Mankind, Vanity Fair's 2011 homage to the bacchanalian absurdities:

 

December 3

Arts Club Welcome Reception hosted by Princess Alia Al Senussi at the W South Beach

A member of the Libyan royal family currently in exile, Princess Alia Al Senussi has devoted her time to promoting Middle Eastern art and there's no way you're infiltrating her invite only party. Not even if you say your name is Jill Kelley.

 

December 4-9

Le Baron

Previously held at the Delano--specifically in The Florida Room and its newest incarnation FDR, the uber exclusive satellite of famed Paris nightclub Le Baron is being a bit trickier and nomadic this year to avoid the crashers. The traveling Le Baron will stop at a different location every night from December 4-9. The address will be a secret until 6 p.m. each night and revealed on its new Where is Le Baron iPhone app, its website, Twitter and Facebook. As for those locations, a PR rep tells us, "A mix of old school unexpected Miami venues and brand new ones opening just in time for Basel." Regarding celebrities, says the PR rep, "while we are in talks with people it is our policy not to discuss when they are coming." For the app, go to www.whereislebaron.com. Note: downloading the app and finding out the location does not guarantee entry say the Le Baronites.

Silencio at FDR

The Basel-branch of the Paris club of the same name, Silencio picks up where Le Baron left off, taking over FDR from December 4-8. The only things being silenced here are the whines of those not on the list.

December 5

Jeffrey Deitch / LA MOCA and Vanity Fair's  Annual Beach Party at The Raleigh

This one's always a good one, where true VIPs scope out their own kind to the soundtrack of the latest 'it' band. This year's marquis a decidedly Scandinavian theme, with all Swedes performing:  Andrew Wyatt Blakemore and Pontius Johan Winnberg of indie pop band Miike Snow, pop singer Lykke Li, and Bjorn of Peter Bjorn and John.

  

Chanel & Art.sy Beachside BBQ at Soho Beach House

Hosted by Art.sy (the so-called Pandora of the art world) CEO Carter Cleveland, art dealer Larry Gagosian, Art.sy investor and wife of Rupert, Wendi Murdoch, Pay-Pal co-founder and hedge fund manager Peter Thiel and Russian socialite Dasha Zhukova, this invite only BBQ promises to be a celeb-sizzler, with Drew Barrymore (whose husband, Will Kopelman, is an art dealer), Owen Wilson and Russell Simmons on the guest list.

Valentino's Pop Pois capsule collection launch at The Webster

Valentino and Interview Magazine along with Sofia Sanchez Barrenchea, fashion consultant, creative director and founder of UnderOurSky.com, which sells the latest from Argentinean designers, and the fashionista's DJ Chelsea Leyland, are throwing a private party in celebration of the launch of the luxe label's new polka dot collection. Not even a Dalmatian sporting Valentino is getting into this one unless it's accompanied by, say, Anne Hathaway.

December 6

Visionaire Magazine and Net-A-Porter Art Basel Party at Hyde Beach at the SLS Hotel South Beach

 Uh, next.

NADA VIP Opening Preview at Deauville Beach Resort

This, plus the NADA pool party on the 8th, and if you're not on the list, you're, wait for it and accept our apologies in advance, nada getting in.

Dom Pérignon, Alex Dellal, Stavros Niarchos and Vito Schnabel's late night Luminous Rosé party at Wall

This is the big one that follows the equally hard to penetrate Aby Rosen dinner at The Dutch, an A-lister's, name dropper's nirvana, the one where, last year, Michael Douglas, Catherine Zeta Jones, Sean Penn and Naomi Campbell all shared the same smoky air with their young, hip art world scions and sirens along with some starlets, stalkers, wanna be's and CW network castoffs. Schnabel, 26, may bring his own A-lister: rumored paramour Demi Moore, 50.

MeUndies + Curtis Kulig "Love Me" at the new Freehand Miami

What do you get when you combine a unisex underwear delivery service with a hot NYC artist and photog at Miami's most hotly anticipated hipster hotel? This party, DJ'ed by--who else--Chelsea Leyland--and one that's not so free for you and me.

Midnight in Miami Celebrating Perrier Presents: The Black Lords by Desi Santiago, a BOFFO project

NYC's philanthropic party planner Josh Wood is doing this one at The Lords South Beach, and while he may be charitable, he's probably not letting you in.

Diane von Furstenberg's Evian Art Basel luncheon at Soho House

You can wrap yourself up like a mummy in DVF, but consider lunch somewhere else unless your name is Barry Diller.

Westway pop-up at the Shore Club

NYC's hipster hangout Westway and SVEDKA Vodka will take over the Red Room from Thursday through Saturday nights. Not stopping there, Westway's Matt Kliegman and Carlos Quirarte will also take their talents to the daytime with their Westgay Pool Party from 4 p.m. to 11 p.m. on December 8. Frankie Sharp hosts and Scissor Sisters' Jake Shears, LE1F and Brooke Candy will perform.

Julian Lennon and Nur Khan host an evening with The Morrison Hotel Gallery at Dream South Beach

The son of John is an arteest in his own respectable right and his party , along with NYC nightlife macher Nur Khan, who is popping open a Basel branch of his Dream Downtown boite Electric Room on the roof of Miami's own Dream, will feature some rare music pix as well as a DJ set by The Kills' Alison Mosshart. Imagine if you got in. Keep dreaming.

Kelly Klein celebrates POOLS photo book launch @ The Webster presented by Caliche Rum

Perhaps if this one was actually taking place at or near a pool, you'd be able to crash via submarine. Alas, nothing, not even an invitation, will likely come between you and Klein.

Arts for a Better World and Overture's Warhol Collector's Dinner

We're sorry, but that tattered poster of Warhol's Marilyn isn't enough to get you into this one. Even if you look like you were just scraped off the floor of Warhol's legendary Factory, we highly doubt you'll get into this one. Same goes for the December 4 VIP opening of “100 Warhols, an Overview: Painting, Drawing, Collage, Unique Work on Paper, Trial Proofs and Edition Prints,” which is being billed as An Evening at Rao's in Miami benefiting the Mt. Carmel-Holy Rosary School of East Harlem. Not even the third cousin of a Corleone can get into Rao's in NYC so why would this be different?

Bentley & Baxter at Internum

The favored ride of ballers and billionaires has teamed up with Italy's swank home design brand to create something you still can't afford. Same goes for the party, to which they are flying the latest Bentleys as well as the people who buy them. We've seen the guest list and while none of us are on it, it's pretty rich.

December 7

Art of Basketball: Heat Wave Exhibition party with Dwyane Wade and Chris Bosh

If it's Miami, it must be basketball and why not during Art Basel, via a collection of graffiti and street art of the team's biggest ballers? “The creativity is something that I’m very into and I love,” Bosh told NBA TV at last year’s Art Basel Miami Beach, during which he hosted an “Art of Basketball” party. “To have this vision in your head and go for your imagination out on a canvas to what people can see what’s in your brain, I’m really moved by that.” While the exhibition runs from 10 a.m. to 6 p.m. December 5-9 (from 10 a.m. to 6 p.m.) at 2048 Northwest Miami Court, the party, featuring--who else--DJ Irie, and food from Shake Shack, is as hard to get into as a net being guarded by Udonis Haslem.

Bombay Sapphire Artisan Series Finale at The Moore Building with Russell Simmons

Simmons and his Rush Philanthropic Arts Foundation will unveil the two winning artists who will get to show their works at his Rush Arts Gallery in NYC. Prior to the unveil, Simmons, along with the thinking woman's Real Housewife Ana ("Spell 'Misogynist') Quincoces, will be at a dinner party in Coconut Grove raising money for another non profit, Penn Medicine. Rush not, it's all invite only.

Moncler's 60th Anniversary Party

Down jackets in December isn't that uncommon in Miami contrary to popular belief, but less common is an invitation to the 60th anniversary of the high end French clothing company at an undisclosed location. also impossible to get into is the grand opening of the label's Bal Harbour Boutique featuring Pharrell Williams singing copies of his book, Places and Spaces I've Been. Places he's been invited to. Unlike most people to this party.

VIP Dinner at SLS Hotel South Beach Honoring Domingo Zapata, sponsored by Ferrari and Hublot

Among those expected to be wined and dined: Pat Riley, Ron Burkle, Sofia Vergara, Tommy Hilifiger, Pitbull (!) and Zapata's BFF, Scarlett Johansson. Now that's a motley crew, but not motley enough for someone to notice you don't belong.

December 8

Teenage Paparazzo: A screening and exhibition

The National YoungArts Foundation and YoungArts alumnus, former Entourage star Adrian Grenier hosts a screening of his documentary along with a Q&A on whose panel this writer will proudly sit, answering questions, perhaps, about the cult of celebrity along with our newest celebrity resident, Christian Slater and Seth "Don't Call me a Paparazzo" Browarnik. Also on the guest list not so ironically but oh so fittingly: former Real Housewives of NYC's Jill Zarin. Tickets were limited and now, apparently, sold out.

LCD Soundsystem Book Launch on the roof of the Hotel Victor

For over seven years, photographer Ruvan Wijesooriya has had complete access inside the world of James Murphy and his LCD Soundsystem--unlike you.

Rico Love's Big 3-0

No, it really has nothing to do with Art Basel, but the uber producer who has the numbers of Beyonce, Fergie and Usher on speed dial enters a new decade with a splash--rather, a magnum or twenty--at a private dinner for 100 friends at Katsuya.

Follow @LesleyAbravanel for the latest in Basel BS.

Name droppers & eavesdroppings: #ArtBaselMiamiBeach

Photo/Manny Hernandez

For real running Art Basel commentary, follow me on Twitter at http://www.twitter.com/lesleyabravanel. For party wrap ups, this would be the place if you're into the bold faced sort of thing. Speaking of bold faced, there are plenty of those down here with more on the way. Among those, Robin Thicke, who is performing at a private Basel party Friday in the Design District and, for those longing for the Art Basel of 10 years ago, we hear the Hilton sisters are on some guest lists as well. What follows is a dispatch of sorts from the trendy trenches. Enjoy or something.

• On Tuesday night, (BELVEDERE) RED joined Ferrari and Interview Magazine in celebrating Art Basel 2011 with an exclusive bash in the parking garage at 1111 Lincoln Road.  Guests enjoyed music by DJ Solange Knowles and a surprise performance by singer Janelle Monae, who took over the stage and performed her top hits. The see and be scene set also previewed Ferrari’s signature car models, which were strategically placed around the 7^th floor parking lot. Guests in attendance included Peter Brandt, Stephanie Seymour, Wendi Murdoch, Mia Moretti and Caitlin Moe, Dasha Zhukova, Damien Hirst, Brett Ratner, Aby Rosen, a very robust Val Kilmer and other art world influencers in town for the week’s events. Overheard at this party: "After what he said [a gay slur and TMI about his alleged sexual partners], Brett Ratner will have a hard time getting a date with one of those Ferraris over there."

• The DEWAR’S-hosted MOCA North Miami/Vanity Fair Art Basel kick-off bash Tuesday night was like an old issue of W Magazine--when it was all loose papers, with NYC heavyweights including Donna Karan, who debuted her pop-up store, proceeds from which benefit charities in Haiti, Calvin Klein, Blaine Trump, Julian Schnabel, Ingrid Sischy, Sandy Brandt, Tamara Mellon, Bruce Weber, Nan Bush more. Honorees were Sischy and Brandt, of Vanity Fair and ardent Art Basel supporters. Said Sischy, "There is no doubt that Sandy is my better half." Brandt, for the uninitiated, was once married to mogul Peter Brandt, who has had a rocky marriage to supermodel Stephanie Seymour-all of whom are in town. The haves then left the have nots for a private dinner at the manse of philanthropists and NFAA trustees Sandra and Stephen Muss. Eavesdropping of the event: "There's Christian Slater. He used to be famous until he moved here and dated a local. Now he's just one of us." 

• Wednesday night proved chaotic, with the fire marshalls shutting down the entrances to the Art Basel Vernissage and the Shelborne Hotel grand reopening and Real Housewives of New York City's scene seeking housewife, Ramona Singer stopping to pose for pix. And while a slew of random celebs turned out everywhere---Luke Wilson at Vernissage once the flood gates were reopened and Alanis Morrissette with artist James Rosenquist at the Shelborne, the A-list seemed to convene at The Raleigh for the Maybach dinner and the Jeffrey Deitch MOCA LA party, including Michael Douglas and Catherine Zeta-Jones. Parasiting off their A-list glow were Paris and Nicky Hilton. Also there: Naomi Campbell. 

Photo/Meg Pukel

Photo/Seth Browarnik, duh

• Art of Night at the Shelborne celebrated Seth Browarnik's celeb photos. Among those spotted there were Ivana Trump and D. Wade's main squeeze Gaby Union.

Photo/Meg Pukel

• But back to Catherine Zeta-Jones and Michael Douglas. The couple was seen once again Thursday morning at the PULSE VIP brunch at the Ice Palace, and in the afternoon at Wynwood Walls, Goldman Properties’ outdoor street art park, featuring 40 of the world’s most famous urban artists. Jessica Goldman toured them throughout the walls for 45 minutes. Director Brett Ratner and art collector/photog Jean Pigozzi joined them. While Douglas looks fantastic, Zeta Jones, we're told is still chain smoking ciggies all over town despite her hubby's recent bout with throat cancer. The couple was also seen having a late snack at Joe's Stone Crab Thursday.

Photo/Meg Pukel

• As for Real Housewives of New York's Ramona Singer, she's in town with her hubby Mario (and photographed at left with her number one fan, Miami Herald biz writer, Brett Graff) and will be attending the Rock-n-Art Basel event tomorrow night at The Catalina, where cameras will be capturing the madness for an upcoming episode of the retweaked Bravo show.  Also spotted at The Catalina, actor Adrien Brody, who was also at WALL at the W Wednesday night, as were those Hilton sisters.

• Brody was also seen late Thursday afternoon at Pulse as were, most randomly, Jane Seymour and Diddy in  a sling--separately--we think. 

• At the uber A-list Dom Perignon dinner at The Dutch at the W South Beach Thursday hosted by W developmer Aby Rosen and his socialite shrink wife Samantha Boardman, we witnessed all walks of life, from Vanity Fair's Bob Colacello, Work of Art host China Chow, socialite Blaine Trump, and Andre Balazs, to the very ubiquitous headband sporting Paris and Nicky Hilton. Incidentally when those two walked in, the men standing with Pat Riley and Micky Arison started snapping photos with their cells. The Hilton star quickly faded when Michael Douglas and Catherine Zeta-Jones walked in and schmoozed and eventually sat with Arison and Riley, among some other heavy hitters from NY. The party later moved to Wall at the W, hosted by, among other folk, ex Paris Hilton beau Stavros Niarchos. Among the eavesdroppings we caught at this very loud, crowded event included the fact that Twist was the de rigueur spot for NYC elite to after party during Art Basel and this little gem from a dandy looking man wth a British accent, "So many ****ing ***ots on South Beach and not one has hit on me. It's ok, though, they're only after money." Not at the dinner but at the after party at WALL: Sean Penn. As we exited the dinner we saw actress Gina Gershon schmoozing with W hotel staff.

Photo/Manny Hernandez

The following photos of the Aby Rosen dinner at The Dutch are by Billy Farrell/BFAnyc.com

•On Friday, it was back to the W for a party at Mr Chow hosted by gallerist Andy Valmorbida, record exec Jimmy Iovine, Sean “Diddy” Combs, in collaboration with VistaJet, celebrating the art book Culo by Mazzucco, a fancy Art Basel way of saying 'ass' by a famous fotog. Anyway, this party was undoubtedly the Star Wars bar of Basel, with the motliest of crews yet, from NSync's Lance Bass and Girls Gone Wild's Joe Francis to, yep, those sisters, who seem to have cloned themselves in order to attend every. single. toilet lid opening party. Diddy was somewhere in there, too, as was Will Smith and actor Adrien Brody. A press release also says that Robin Thicke was there, but he was down in the Design District performing at the Casa FENDI Beats By Dre event. Soundtrack was stellar, crashers were aplenty. Oh, and Naomi Campbell entered through the back entrance by the garbage. Because she felt like making an entrance. There were so many scene suckers in Mr Chow that the best place for air was, ironically, the smoking section. The following pix from the party are from Getty.

•Adrien Brody, incidentally, may be the only celebrity to have actually spent a dime this past weekend and bought, wait for it, art, spending upwards of $20,000 for this piece by up and coming street artist Alec Monopoly at Avant Gallery. Brody, meanwhile, may be our fave celeb thus far: while hanging out poolside Friday at the Delano for the Visionaire party, Brody, bombared by photographers was overheard saying "I'm not doing this," as he fled the scene. Those who were doing that, however, included Bass, actor Brian Greenberg of How to Make It in America, and Grey's Anatomy's Jesse Williams.

•Selling his own art was Nas, who, while performing “Made You Look,” at Ricochet Thursday night for the Spotify event, picked up the paintbrush and crafted his first ever masterpiece. The painting, auctioned during the show, sold for $14K, with all proceeds going to charity.

•Meanwhile, while his famous friends were busy Baseling, Cee-Lo Green spent Friday night bowling at Lucky Strike with friends. Art Basel? Forget you.

•A very robust Val Kilmer checked out the new collection of Phulga magical flea sculptures at Miguel Paredes' Wynwood gallery with 3 females on Friday night.

•Chicago-based artist Dzine converted a room in The Standard Hotel to replicate his living room growing up, where his mother would take nail appointments. Among those seen having their nails done: Academy Award-winning actress Tilda Swinton, whom we'd love to actually see photographed against a neon background next to George Hamilton. (Photo: Dzine's Imperial Nails Presented by Perrier at The Standard Spa/Chris Mosier-SocietePerrier).

• Moby and Will Smith were both seen separately at Art Miami. Smith, who knew, is an art fan was seen Thursday night at the Claire Oliver Gallery at Art Miami, where he was tooling around with fair director, Nick Korniloff.

• Jumping on the Basel-bandwagon was the big birthday bash of songwriter/producer Rico Love, whose Friday night party was co-hosted by Usher, who, uh, generously gave away one of his 900 Grammys as a gift. Among those there: Mary J. Blige, Deborah Cox, Chris Bosh and Clinton Sparks. (Photo/David Manero Restaurants)

 
• As much as this image makes us want to watch Growing Pains reruns, Robin, the son of Alan Thicke, brought the house down at the Fendi Casa Beats by Dr. Dre (not there) party in the Design District in a way that would make devout Christian Kirk Cameron blush. (Photo/Patrick McMullan)

The list: celebby Art Basel parties you can and can't get into

 

The list is growing longer than the collective facial hair on the neo hippies at Occupy Wall Street. But this is no hacky sack tourney, folks. This is Art Basel Miami Beach, where the 1% rub exfoliated elbows with the 99%, or, rather, the 10% of that 99% that manages to get into the parties and events. Says one Manhattan-based art world insider who preferred to remain anonymous, "Art Basel is just another thing ruined just like Sundance." Speaking of all things wrecked, what follows is by no means a comprehensive list of Basel-bombast, but, rather, a list of celebrity-related parties, concerts, events and kibbitzing opportunities for the haves and have nots in no particular order. Keep checking back as the list is guaranteed to go on endlessly.

The Have Nots (Strictly Invitation)

In celebration of its Design District pop-up shop, UK brand Pringle of Scotland, featuring the never-before-seen 'liamgillickforpringleofscotland' Capsule Collection by Liam Gillick is throwing a cocktail party on December 2nd from 8:30pm - 10pm that will be co-hosted by actress Tilda Swinton, who happens to be the face of the brand. Location not yet revealed.

Bing, the official sponsor of Art of Night events at the not yet completely renovated Shelborne, will host what they are calling the hottest Basel event, a party 8 p.m. on December 2 featuring a special DJ set by hip hop artist Theophilus London, who opens for the night’s main event, a performance by Young the Giant.

A swank, chichi party at Mr Chow at the W on Friday, December 2 hosted by Vista Jet will honor gallerist Andy Valmorbida, artist Raphael Mazzucco and Executive Editors Jimmy Iovine and Sean “Diddy” Combs with a presentation of works from their new book, Culo by Mazzucco. Yes,you read right, Diddy Daddy Combs is now an editor, too.

Having not too much to do with art in the classic sense, Diddy, Usher and Mary J. Blige are celebrating the 29th birthday of the producer and songwriter Rico Love on Friday, December 2nd at Vic & Angelo’s in South Beach.

Rupert's wife Wendi Murdoch is an investor in Art.sy, the so-called Pandora for art, and will be co-hosting a Louis Vuitton-sponsored beachside barbecue for the site Wednesday, November 30 at Soho Beach House along with Russian philanthropist, entrepreneur, model, and more Dasha Zhukova and artist and site's founder Carter Cleveland.  

New York real estate tycoon Aby Rosen and socialite psychiatrist wife Samantha Boardman are hosting their A+ list art world dinner on Thursday, December 1 at The Dutch at the W South Beach. 

More socialite mayhem, this time sponsored by Dom Pérignon and hosted by young socialites including curator Alex Dellal, Stavros Niarchos (yes, Paris Hilton's ex) and Vito (son of artist/director Julian Schnabel, Thursday, December 1st at WALL at W South Beach. 

Artist Nick Cave will be honored at a private party on Friday, December 2 at FENDI Casa in the Design District. And although the event is hosted by Beats by Dr. Dre, which, according to Google, are just headphones, Dr. Dre will not be there. 

On Thursday, December 1st, at 6pm, The Shelborne's beachside taco and tequila bar, Lucy's Cantina Royale, will host a screening of Limelight, by its subject Peter Gatien's daughter, Jen, and Alfred Spellman & Billy Corben of Miami-based media studio, Rakontur. Following the screening, there will be a swank St. Tropez-themed dinner for celebrated design duo and HGTV reality show subjects Bob & Cortney Novogratz, who have enlisted 10 artists to reinterpret 10 iconic chairs in a program called THE CHAIR PROJECT. The dinner will feature a performance by genre-transcending pianist, ELEW,  who toured with Josh Groban and will perform an hour-long set of jazz, rock and pop on a custom-created Yamaha piano.

Also at the Shelborne, this time November 30, is a photo exhibition by Miami-based celeb (don't call him a paparazzo) photog Seth Browarnik, who will celebrate his opening with a splashy Susanne Bartsch-produced spectacular following a private dinner by magazine publisher and man-about-towns Jason Binn.

Actress Shenae Grimes will show Travelers, her photo exhibit benefiting My Friends Place, a homeless shelter in Hollywood, CA,  at the Sanctuary hotel (the sister to its original venue, the Shelborne, which isn't entirely ready for its close up) on Saturday, December 3.  Also appearing: Mark Singer, director of Dark Days, an award winning documentary about a group of people living in NYC's underground railroad system also known as the Freedom Tunnel, which will be screened at the event. Music by the aforementioned Theophilus London. 

  Designer Gareth Pugh and actress/model Byrdie Bell will host a dinner celebrating 10 years of Art Basel Miami Beach at Baoli Vita on Saturday, December 3. We're told this one have a high celeb to non celeb ratio.

Twin brothers, Dean and Dan Caten of fashion label DSQUARED are hosting a cocktail confab and dinner on Friday, December 2 at Of the approximately 75 so-called VIP guests, several are expected to be famous.   

Interview magazine is hosting a big party along with Ferrari, mogul Peter M. Brant and Sotheby’s Tobias Meyer, in honor of Ferrari’s Chairman, Luca di Montezemolo, on Tuesday, November 29th at a private home on Indian Creek Island. The party will feature the unveiling of the new Ferrari 458 Spider; a premiere screening of RPM, the new 3D video installation by artist Marco Brambilla; and a surprise musical guest.

Uber producer Timbaland has a fancy for Bollywood and as such, has teamed up with artist Amrita Sen, whose Bollydoll label and artwork based on it will debut along with Timba's B-wood inspired tunes at a private party (sponsored, of course, by illy) Wednesday, November 30 at the B Bar at The Betsy. "I’ve always wanted to bring Bollywood music to America and Europe and make it mainstream,”  Timbaland explains, “Bollywood music is really different  - song structure, chords and vocal techniques - so it’s hard to make it work in music as we normally hear it on the radio. When Amrita came to me to talk about what she was doing with Bollydoll, I thought now this is the best way to present this sound.”

Last year, ping pong aficionado Susan Sarandon was at the Delano for the first ever MOCA Spin Galactic party and ping pong tourney. This year, Sarandon will be back to sit in a cabana while hipsters go head to head at this year's party and tourney Saturday, December 3, this time at The Standard.

Russell Simmons and his brother Danny along with (sponsor alert!) Bombay Sapphire will host the finals of the Artisan Series, which seeks out the next big things in visual arts, at the DuPont Building downtown on Friday, December 2. 

Montblanc is honoring CEO of DACRA and Co-Founder of Design Miami Craig Robins with the Montblanc de la Culture Arts Patronage Award presented by Pharrell Williams at a chichi dinner Thursday, December 1 at the Moore Building. Here's the list of "anticipated" guests: Christian Louboutin, Russell Simmons, Elle Macpherson, Nadja Swarovski, Silvia Fendi, Zaha Hadid, Mayor Tomas Regalado, Ella Cisneros, Stefano Tonchi, Didier & Clemence Krzentowski, Patrick Seguin, Patrick Houel, Carlos Ferrater, Borja Ferrater, Lord and Lady Foster, Rikrit Taravanjia, David Adjaye, Nick Pritzker, Konstantin Grcic, Maarten Baas, Campana Brothers, Jack Tilton, Rosa de la Cruz, Alistair Gordon, Maarten Baas, Mickey Wolffson and more.

One of the most anticipated parties of Art Basel is Jeffrey Deitch and LA MOCA's Beach Party at The Raleigh, Wednesday, November 30 featuring DJ set by 2MANYDJS and a performance by Soulwax.

Also at the Raleigh for celebs and VIPs only, Architectural Digest is converting the back Oasis area into a lounge with free food and drink from Friday through Sunday. Must have bold faced name and proof of such to even go near it.

Andre Balazs, who is a celebrity and model magnet himself, hosts the Dzine Installation launch at his very own hotel, The Standard, Friday night (December 2).

Artist Domingo Zapata, whose 10 pieces of work were purchased by Johnny Depp at an October showing in LA, will present his show, Dangerous Things, at the Delano Saturday, December 3, and a decent celebrity turn out is expected. Besides Depp, Sofia Vergara, Leonardo DiCaprio, and Orlando Bloom own Zapata originals.         

Can't get into Le Baron at The Florida Room? Then try your luck at Le Baron's second pop up club, this time in the bowels of the Shelborne Hotel in the once dingy space we fondly know and love as Studio, the place where karaoke was cool before it was cool--that is, if it ever was cool. Paris-Paris, a cabaret-themed club, is said to recreate the Parisian club of the same name that closed its doors in 2005. Makes us want to belt out a few bars from the Catherine Deneuve/Maclolm McLaren tune of the same name.

The Haves (No invite necessary)

A free concert by Special Disco Version (James Murphy & Pat Mahoney of LCD Soundsystem) at 10 p.m. Thursday, December 1 at Grand Central thanks to TOYOTA. Also on the bill: The Black Lips, a DJ set by Midnight Surfer and a special, yet to be announced surprise guest. To get in, RSVP at www.uptheantics.com/discobasel.

Spotify’s “Art Loves Music” (sponsored by Perrier and 42Below) at Ricochet Lounge featuring performances by Nas, Theophilus London, TV on the Radio, and Sharon Jones & the Dap Kings December 1-4. No cover and open to the public. For more information,contact 305.673.3873 or visit www.ricochetlounge.com.

Steinway Piano of Miami presents a Pop Up Piano Miami launch event featuring live performance by Jacob Jeffries Band at 11 p.m. at Louis Bar Lounge. Thursday, December 1. Cover is $25

SCOPE opening party hosted by the aforementioned Byrdie Bell with sounds by DJ Mick Boogie, 11 p.m. Thursday, December 1 at SET. Cover is $25.

“Dreams will not be Forgotten” Screening Afterparty hosted by producer, America’s Next Model’s Nigel Barker along with Belvedere RED. Sounds by DJ N’Dy 11 p.m. Friday, December 2 at SET. Cover is $25.

SCOPE closing party with sounds by Silver Medallion & DJ Equal, 11 p.m. Saturday, December 3 at Mokai.  Cover is $25.

Moby will spin at 11 p.m. Saturday, December 3 at Mansion. Cover is $30.

HGTV personality David Bromstad of Color Splash Miami will celebrate his first open-to-the-public art exhibition, titled “Body, Money, Death,”  from 5 p.m. to 8 p.m. December 2 and 3 at the Z Ocean Hotel.  

DEWAR’S Scotch Whisky  honors International Vanity Fair editors Ingrid Sischy and Sandra Brant as well as  15 years of MOCA and 10 years of Art Basel Miami Beach from 7 p.m. to 9 p.m. Wednesday, November 29 at at the museum. Also happening there that night: the opening of Donna Karan's Urban Zen pop-up shop. Non MOCA-members can get in for $25. 

Although there'll be a private reception for the opening on Tuesday, November 29, Lincoln Road design store NEST, along with owner Sara Colombo, will debut Jazz & Models, a collection of works by legendary photographer Marco Glaviano, who, in his two decades, has snapped shots of Cindy Crawford, Paulina Porizkova, Stephanie Seymour and, on the jazzy side, Chet Baker, Sonny Rollins and Dizzy Gillsepie, among others. Exhibition is on display at the store through the Spring.

From 11:30 a.m. to 2:30 p.m. Friday, December 2, the Arsht Center is hosting an art-themed version of their Food Truck Fridays, featuring food, art, and a free performance at 1 p.m. on one of Steinway's Pop Up pianos by the aforementioned ELLEW.

Tickets are on sale at www.bardotmiami.showclix.com for Bardot's Basel line up which is as follows: DJ set and performance by Macy Gray, Martin Luther and the Roosevelt Collier Trio on Wednesday, November 30; MillionYoung and Neon Indian on December 1. Tickets are $47; Intimate Session with Moby (Live Acoustic Band) & Art Presentation from his book Destroyed Sounds by Gigamesh on December 2. Tickets are $48; and, on Saturday, December 3, DFA's (Death From Above) Official "Art Basel Bash" celebrating 10 years of Music DFA Secret Show.

From midnight until the following day on Thursday, December 1 (technically Friday the 2nd), Scissor Sisters frontman Jake Shears will perform at an Art Basel all nighter, the Boffo + David Mason Chlopecki Slick It Up Party at the Lords South Beach. Joining Shears will be Jeremy Ingvall in a duo known as Crystal Pepsi. Gender bender Amanda Lepore hosts. Bar is open from midnight until 1 a.m.  No cover, just show up, they tell us.

Same goes for the party Friday, December 2 from 7 p.m. to 10 p.m. Friday night at Lords South Beach Gold Bar hosted by Tom & Abi of Gayletter.com.

Not quite a party but a respite from exactly that, YogArt is a mashup between, yep, yoga and art, featuring live music by Trevor Hall from November 30-December 4 at the Loews. Expected at one of the sessions is Lenny Kravitz. There are both sunrise and sunset sessions and a portion of the proceeds will go to benefit DASH--no, not the Kardashian boutique but the Design Architecture Senior High. For tickets and schedule, go to www.yogartevent.com.

The Miami Art Museum is actually allowing you to pay to crash their gala after party Saturday night, which sort of defeats the purpose, but it would be nice to see if they can actually squeeze $150 out of some of Miami's more shameless party crashers. Taking place from 10 p.m. to 2 a.m. in the Fontainebleau's Glimmer Ballroom, the Crash the Ball after party will feature DJ duo Andrew Andrew and a motley crew of guest hosts includng Steve Ross, owner of the Miami Dolphins. Oh, and art too. For ticket info, call 305-375-5935 or events@miamiartmuseum.org

British hot spot Cirque du Soir will take over Mansion on Wednesday, November 30 . One night only. Go to www.mansionmiami.com or www.cirquedusoir.com for more info.

 

Art Basel Miami Beach invites: the real works of art

It's not long before the who's who in the art world swarms to Miami like Kardashians to TV cameras. And while there will no doubt be a motley crew of A-list celebrities, indie bands whose songs play on Gossip Girl, and real life, big money socialites out and about, remind yourselves that it's all about the art. Just 12 days away from the big opening and we've already received a year's worth of emails touting all sorts of exhibitions, parties, parties, parties and, oh yes, exhibitions as the ones to be at. The ironic hipster gathering at the 7-11 on Alton and 15th sounds particularly stellar. But again, it's about the art. And discovered in those emails—the 30 or so that we've spared from the recycle bin, was the inspiration to create our own art. Presenting the Scene in the Tropics Running Art Basel Miami Beach Invitation Word/Name Tally Spectacular, in which from now until the big event is over, we will list a count of the most used and overused words and phrases in each and every invitation. We'll also list celebrity names, because name dropping is indeed, a true form of art, which is different from those pieces of work who are otherwise known as name droppers. We're especially hopeful that we get to use the (non) word/name Sucklord in the coming days. Check back from time to time to see which words and names are debuting and, of them, which are most ubiquitous.

iconic 2

famed 1

exciting 1

reimagined 1

rebranded 1

private 3

invite only 11

VIP 5

DJ 15

fashionable 1

tastemakers 4

the who's who 15

pop up 3

original water of disco 1

official sponsor 10

Tilda Swinton 1

Moby 1

Special Disco Version 1

The Black Lips 1

Midnight Surfer 1

surprise guest 1

Nigel Barker 1

Theophilus London 1

Young the Giant 1 

Silver Medallion 1

Mick Boogie 1 

beats by Dr. Dre (as in the headphones, not the man) 1

Nick Cave 1

Alex Dellal 1

Stavros Niarchos 1

Vito Schnabel 1

Aby Rosen 1

Samantha Boardman 1

Dom Perignon 1

Ruinart 1

Veuve Cliquot 1

Pieces of work: Art Basel celeb roundup, chapter 3

 

Lots of random celebrity encounters have been reported around town, from Ben Stiller on line at the Starbucks at 69th and Biscayne to Barry Manilow and Elvis Presley (see below) at Art Miami to, well, Isabella Rossellini in the urban trenches of Wynwood. In between the randomness, however, have been expertly curated, carefully orchestrated gatherings where celebrities and assorted luminaries have been nothing short of expected.

That's Me In the Corner. That's Me in the Spot. Light: REM frontman Michael Stipe was seen Friday night at The Standard Spa for the screening of video artist Marco Brambilla's newest piece, Evolution (Megaplex).

Bonfire of the Vanities Redux: If you didn't know any better, you'd almost think it was 1987 Friday night at The Royal where photog Bruce Weber, wife Nan Bush and designer Victor Alfaro hosted a dinner poolside with 30 guests whose names have filled many a NYC fashion sheet and gossip column.  Among them: Calvin Klein, stunning socialite and ex wife of Donald's brother, Blaine Trump, Ingrid Sischy, contributing editor at Vanity Fair and her partner Sandy Brant, international editor of Vanity Fair and ex wife of mogul Peter Brant, who is currently in a detente from a nasty divorce battle with supermodel Stephanie Seymour, YSL designer Stefano Pilati, Estée Lauder Group president John Demsey, and PR macher Paul Wilmot, among others.

Elvis Was Here: Just before the anniversary of his father's death, Julian Lennon stopped by Art Miami to marvel at a portrait of his late dad--composed entirely of miniscule visages not of Yoko Ono, which would have been way too predictable, but of Elvis--by artist Alex Guofeng Cao from New York’s ChinaSquare Gallery. Also seen gawking at the artist's work: Barry Manilow, whose portrait, may we suggest, should be composed of miniature visages of Michael Bolton. Just kidding. We meant visages of Bette Midler.

Pop (Chips) Art: For those expecting any of the so-called celebrities to drop $30 million for a Rothko, consider this. After refusing swag including a thousand dollar pair of jeans and a Corum watch, actor Gerard Butler had only one request: Pop Chips. Yep, those light 'n' airy chips, whose ads you've probably seen everywhere, have been the crunch of the town. Adrien Brody requested a delivery, too. Why? Says our insider, "They're too cheap to break into their hotel mini bars."

Love and Haiti: After raising over $120,000 on its first night, the Haiti Art Expo continues to raise funds for housing in Haiti at SCOPE Miami tonight at an event featuring an appearance by Russell Simmons and then most definitely on Sunday when Wyclef Jean will perform live with a 7-piece Haitian band and provide what will undoubtedly be priceless sound bytes on his most recent trip there during elections and that whole, thwarted running for Haitian president thing. Remember, though, this is all for a good cause--the goal of the night will be to sell the remaining pieces of art still remaining from which 100 percent of the proceeds go to United Way for a specific earmarked project, promoter/philanthropist  "Michael Capponi's camp in Belvil," his greatest promotion to date. 

Pieces of work: Art Basel celeb roundup, chapter 2

 
Despite what you may think, no that's not some desperate Miami party crasher disgused as Hello Kitty in an attempt to get into LeBaron at The Florida Room, but, rather, the real deal, the Hello Kitty herself, the true star of Art Basel, at last night's preview of the uber whimsical Small Gift Miami homage to 50 years of Sanrio. And while HK and her fashionable, animated friends were the real stars of the event, Isabella Rossellini, after marveling at animal photography by Joe Zammit-Lucia at Soho Studios' Art For a Better World show, managed to slip in unnoticed, though we don't think she waited on line for the free tattoos.  

In the Design District it was standing room only at the Fendi Casa party where standing on a corner never seemed so fashionable. Nearby at the Paper Magazine/Friends With You event, an exploding crowd gathered around what seemed to be one big bounce house in order to catch the performance by Pharrell Williams and N.E.R.D. "This is the Spring Break of art," said our intrepid, observant companion who most likely was paying a backhanded compliment, adding that instead of bikinis, the de rigueur dress code involved glasses, facial hair and, in terms of local Miamians excited by the frenzy and the chill in the air, formal wear, stilletos and fedoras.

Back on the beach, following the chichi dinner hosted by W South Beach tycoon Aby Rosen and shrink slash socialite Samantha Boardman at Soleá, an after party slash tribute to the new Andy Warhol Dom Perignon bottles at Wall hosted by art dealer/artist Julian Schnabel's son Vito, gallerist Alex Dellal and Paris Hilton-ex Stavros Niarchos. Guest list at that one read like an issue of one of those socialite porn magazines that fills all its space with bold faced names and no real articles.

 
It was a name dropper's delight and Warhol certainly would have approved: A-Rod, HRH Princess Firyal of Jordan, Nicky Hilton, oily heir Brandon Davis, Warner Music Group CEO Lyor Cohen, hedge fund gazillionaire Steve Cohen, writer/reporter/socialite Anthony Haden Guest, artist/original Warhol Factory member Jane Holzer, writer Bob Colacello, Susan Sarandon, Sean Penn, Calvin Klein, Miss Ubiqutious Art Basel 2010 Naomi Campbell, a Real Housewife of NYC, designer Yigal Azouel, and more--like hundreds more fine looking, sneaker-sporting hipsters who likely spent hours creating that just out of bed or rehab look.

 

Over at the Delano, an arty, A-listish madhouse that had Susan Sarandon (pre-W) on the terrace, au natural, signing autographs and posing for pix, and A-Rod (pre-W) "behaving himself and avoiding the blonds" with manager Guy Oseary who was overheard introducing himself to someone as "Madonna's manager." Speaking of Madonna, rumors of her arrival in town have been greatly exaggerated and, according to our mole firmly embedded in the Madonna camp, are completely untrue.

Down at The Florida Room, a swelling, eager crowd storming the LeBaron bastille, including that aforementioned Miami party crasher who managed to sneak in thanks to a creepy Eyes Wide Shut mask, and rock royalty's first born son Julian Lennon plus 8 who were unfortunately neither as fortunate nor as shameless. 

Photos of Calvin Klein and A-Rod by Billy Farrell Agency   

Pieces of work: Art Basel celeb roundup, chapter 1

 
The boldfaced and the beautiful have started to trickle down to this arty, boozypalooza sponsored by [insert favorite high end liquor brand here] and so far, celeb-wise, we're sort of underwhelmed. First one to make sure he was spotted: self professed amateur art collector Lance Armstrong, at a table Monday night at Blue Door Fish at the Delano. 'nuff said. More interesting than the so-called celebrities have been the colorful (and at times odiferous) crowds, who make Art Basel the second best excuse next to Halloween to dress, uh, freely.

No stranger to Art Basel Miami Beach, fiesty supermodel Naomi Campbell has begun to make her rounds, first at the MOCA Vanity Fair International party Tuesday night where she refused to pose for pictures--because, duh, that's work and pictures of her will cost you more than some of the art work for sale at Vernissage last night.

Speaking of Vernissage, the convention center was bustling with buyers, braggarts and freeloaders last night. Among them, and you decide who fits into what category: Bravo's Work of Art judge/gallerist Jeanne Greenberg Rohatyn, photog Bruce Weber, seen at the book store where he spent some time adjusting his trademark bandana, George Hamilton, who said he couldn't afford any of the art, Danny Glover, vying for the title of most random Basel celeb, and a solo Ben Stiller, who had earlier checked into the Shore Club. Besides a showcase for museum quality (and questionable) art, Vernissage also doubled as one big gay pickup joint, with nattily dressed hipsters checking each other out, looking for the next human Statue of David.

Later that night at The Raleigh, where there were approximately 300 events taking place at once, including the Vogue Lounge and the MOCA Los Angeles party with LCD Soundsystem, a buzzy scene in the front of the house drowned out any background noise as people scrambled for tables at the just opened Royal restaurant, starring star chef and recent Gossip Girl cameo, Chef John DeLucie, who, like a fine piece of filet, was inundated with peoples' business cards all night--people hoping that when the Basel dust settles, they'll be able to go straight to the source for that highly coveted reservation at The Royal or its NYC sibling The Lion. Begging as performance art at its finest, we love it.

Setting up next to us, a huge Last Supper-esque table for art dealer Tony Shafrazi and his illustrious guests--among them, Campbell, Stiller (who was overheard later at Skybar marveling at the fact that his hotel room had a private pool), and a Cameron-less Alex Rodriguez. Strange tablemates indeed, but then again, if everything during Art Basel Miami Beach was perfectly matched a la Garanimals, it would just be another day at the office.

Speaking of offices, former Raleigh owner Andre Balazs stopped by that very hotel he sold for $30 million in 2009, checking out the action like a teenager in a playground, spying on the child she gave up for adoption.

Later on, Campbell and Shafrazi made their way over to Wall at the W South Beach, where Paul Oakenfold was spinning the DeLeón Tequila Art Basel kickoff. Also spotted there, another random: Adrien Brody.

Tonight: another ubiquitous Baselite: Pharrell Williams and NERD at the Paper Mag/AOL/ Friends With You opening party for bounce house--er, inflatable installation, Rainbow City, and Sanrio's Small Gift Miami, featuring Art Basel's number one star, Hello Kitty, and her entourage of hangers on.  

Brace yourselves for the Basel dazzle

 
As some of Miami's most shameless party crashers scramble to prove their legitimacy and worthiness of Art Basel's highly coveted party invitations, others are already on the approved lists, trying to figure out what to wear and how not to miss a single second of the hype and circumstance. For our intents and purposes, we are keeping an eye on only those events featuring bona fide celebrities. Not celebrities in their own minds, and not celebrities on canvas. Real celebrities. Works of art in their own rights. Although we will update the post as more celeb events trickle in, here now, in no particular order, are the big ticket Art Basel celeb events and spaces thus far:

1. MOCA & SPiN Galactic Present The Art of Ping Pong. When: Saturday, December 4. Who: Susan Sarandon, owner of  NYC and LA's SPiN Ping Pong Club, who has called herself the "Johnny Appleseed of Ping Pong." Status: Strictly  by invitation no matter how big your balls are, crashers.

2. Steve Martin book reading at the W South Beach Hotel & Residences. When: Wednesday, December 1. Who: The once wild 'n' crazy guy is a lot tamer and artier these days but no less witty or amusing as will be seen when he reads from his book An Object of Beauty, about the Manhattan art world.  Expect Martin to also be among the other A-listers at a private dinner that night at Mr Chow hosted by his pal, art dealer Larry Gagosian. Status: Forget about it.  

3. MOCA Los Angeles Beach Party at the Raleigh Hotel. When: Wednesday, December 1. Who: Director of LA'S MOCA/art dealer/gallery owner Jeffrey Deitch goes all out at what we personally think is Art Basel's best event. Last one we attended, we found ourselves on stage with the larger than life Beth Ditto and her band Gossip as Rachel Zoe looked on, mouthing the words, "I die" to her husband. This year's headliners? LCD Soundsystem.  Status: This one requires pretty much everything, from blood samples and DNA proving you really are related to Grace Jones to your social security number for entry. 

4. The Royal at the Raleigh. When: Throughout and after Art Basel. Who: Chef John DeLucie, formerly of Graydon Carter's boite away from home The Waverly Inn, and currently of star studded NYC hot spot The Lion, opens a similar outpost of such at The Raleigh, where American comfort food meets celebrity. Status: Not an easy reservation to snag but nonetheless open to a certain public, we're hearing The Royal may give some of those other members' only clubs a run for their money--and their celebrity clientele.

5. The Arts of Seduction at the Wolfsonian. When: Wednesday, December 1. Who: Isabella Rossellini, who has collaborated with the Wolfsonian for a project called Seduce Me, will be feted at a $1,000 a plate Robert Mondavi Winery dinner featuring Margrit Mondavi and the cuisine of Jean-Georges Vongerichten. Status: Capacity is 120. At last count it was already at 117.

And now, a heartwarming High School Musical-sponsored break from Art Basel

  

When High School Musical star Corbin Bleu boarded the Oasis of the Seas for a Make-A-Wish fundraiser Monday, he knew he was in store for some serious fan flattery. And while being chased by paparazzi and fans may not be completely foreign to Bleu, how about a high-speed chase at sea by a bigtime fan in a wheelchair? After a meet and greet with three Make-A-Wish kids and their families at the Oasis's Seafood Shack, Bleu was spotted by a little boy confined to a wheelchair. But don't feel bad for Tony from Wichita, another Make-A-Wish kid flown in specifically to meet Bleu. He clearly makes his own wishes come true. According to our seaworthy spies, little Tony "hits the button on his electric wheelchair and takes off like a bat out of hell" after Bleu. When the chair came to a screeching halt in front of the High School Musical star, instead of calling security like some tools would, Bleu got down on the kid's level and started chatting. After catching this, all the other kids followed. Bleu spent most of his free time right there and later behind closed doors with all his fans and their families. Refreshingly real. Also pretty cool, we hear, was Dancing With the Stars' Karina Smirnoff, who also spent time with fans and Make-A-Wish kids, posing with them in various ballroom dance-y poses. And in other news, we think Sylvester Stallone actually moved his face to smile at Art Basel today.