It's Domestic Violence Awareness Month. Do you know where Chris Brown is? Why, he's prepping for his so-called Fan Appreciation Tour which stops at Revolution Live on November 29th. Tickets are $31, which is $31 too much if you ask us. Unless, of course, proceeds go to a women's shelter or something, which, well, they don't. Fan Appreciation Tour. Please. Shouldn't he be picking up trash instead of spewing it? Hey Kanye West, we hear they're looking for an opening act.
André Balazs, we hardly knew ye. The hot hotelier officially unloaded The Raleigh yesterday despite the fact that its pool is perhaps more photogenic than he and all his hot pieces of arm candy combined. Lucky Balazs found a buyer and the deal closed faster than you could say Uma Thurman. New owners, the Miami-based Brilla Group, paid cash and say “The plan is to enhance current operations and explore long-term repositioning” of the Art Deco hotel at 1775 Collins Ave. It will remain operational during that time." We just hope they respect that The Raleigh is lactose intolerant and will hold the cheese.
Here's the farewell letter Balazs sent out to customers:
"After seven years of fun and sun, we have decided to sell The Raleigh and focus our efforts on The Standard Spa, located on Belle Isle just blocks away, and on other exciting new locations in the
As always, warmest regards
André Balazs"
When Gianni Versace was gunned down on the steps of his Ocean Drive mansion, many of us were sort of hoping Casa Casuarina would become a museum of sorts paying homage to the designer and all he did for South Beach. Not so much. As you all know, the mansion became not only a stop on the Kodak photo op tour of the beach, but the playground of yet another rich dude, telecommunications guy Peter Loftin, who we hear has sold most of the place to the restaurateurs behind the seemingly everywhere Bova brand of meateries, Italian restaurants, and cigar bars. Murmurs around town say Loftin, recently profiled on that Joan Rivers TV Land show, How'd You Get So Rich, is, not so ironically, in financial trouble. More shocking for some is the fact that the former Versace Mansion will soon become yet another Italian restaurant, just what we need here, and, gasp, a nightclub called Bova @ Casa Casuarina. It's a big stretch, but imagine taking, say, Hearst Castle, and turning it into a Chuck E. Cheese? Neither can we.
And it just keeps getting worse. The critics are to Miami Social what the Slap Chop is to an onion, although again, another LA-based publication, The Hollywood Reporter, kinda liked it. Emphasis on kinda.
Boston Herald: Miami leech party: shallow subjects sink Bravo's new reality show.
Social’ misfits: Bravo’s latest batch of reality stars — Katrina, Ariel, Maria, Hardy, Michael, Sorah and George, — aren’t relatable or interesting in the cable channel’s new series.
The two gay men in the mix could set the gay rights movement back 20 years.
Katrina’s marriage disintegrates in the opener. That might mean something if Katrina didn’t act like a cyborg.
Bravo’s newest unscripted series “Miami Social” (tonight at 10) spotlights a group of seven shallow young professionals considered to be that city’s party elite. The show, however, is pure tourist repellent.
The various “Housewives” shows work because everyone has or knows somebody like at least one cast member in their own lives. But few have friends like these and even fewer would admit it. Beyond the relatability factor, there’s another problem: These people are boring.
Stuck watching the screener, I kept hoping someone would come by and pick a fight with me - anything to break up the tedium.
You can practically hear Miami officials begging Bravo to pull this junk. You wouldn’t want to be within six city blocks of these posers.
Hollywood Reporter: Real humans would drown in water this shallow.
Despite your best efforts to look away, you won't be able to. Everything about "Social" is so superficially dumb you'll hate yourself for caring about whether George's relationship with his quick-tempered girlfriend will last, or how Maria will cope after her daughter goes to boarding school.
Hartford Courant: Miami Sociopaths.
Where does Bravo find the people it celebrates in its reality shows? It's tempting to imagine that they concoct them in a laboratory somewhere. There can't be this many off-putting, self-absorbed heels in America, can there? Another ugly group is found in Florida for the series "Miami Social" There is a small chance some watch these shows to laugh at how arrogant, small-minded and egotistical people can be. But I'm worried that enough people will think these self-styled movers and shakers will think they're so cool, they may spawn another generation. Ick.
This lovely cabana wasn't enough to help the poor people in the lobby of the Fontainebleau this stormy afternoon, when all of a sudden, says our source, "The roof collapsed and it's literally raining in the lobby, near the LIV entrance. All the restaurants are closed, too. It's complete chaos." Ridiculous! After all those zillions spent on revamping the place, they couldn't build a roof to withstand a Florida rainstorm?
Photo: Alfred Spellman
Update: The Kardashians will have to find another place to host a party; word is that the hotel's subterranean sushi spot Blade has gone the way of Lindsay Lohan's career, while LIV has sustained mega damage and will be on hiatus for what we think will be a long while.
Other victims of the deluge include The Florida Room at Delano, which is closed, and surely more to come. If this isn't a wakeup call to city officials to figure out the hideous flooding situation before the big one hits, we don't know what is. Not to mention the fact that closings like these severely impinge on our already fragile economic situation. If only someone spent as much time, passion and money on eliminating the flooding as they did on Burn Notice and building a baseball stadium. Wishful thinking, perhaps, and shoddy construction notwithstanding!
Today was The Forge's 40th birthday and if you ask us, we think it's aged pretty damn well. So did Mayor Matti Bower, who declared today The Forge Day. But if you listen to the murmurs out there, you may have heard that the Miami Beach landmark is closing down. And it is, sort of. But unlike the other news out there today, it's far from doomsday and not, as we originally thought, apocalyptic unless you consider the fact that scores of gold diggers, sugar daddies and playas will be devoid of a humping ground on Wednesday nights for the next six months or so. According to Forge publicist Nick D'Annunzio, the restaurant is indeed closing from today until the end of December when owner Shareef Malnik will introduce an entirely new Forge. Malnik tells us now was the time to renovate. "Everyone is so down these days that this is an opportunity to do something wonderful. We haven't been closed since 1991 when we had a fire and we made some changes then. I want to use this summer as an opportunity to change, to redo everything--new furniture, new layout, new China, new glassware, new uniforms. A new, updated version of The Forge. The whole thing is a rebirth, "Not unlike a renewal of wedding vows when you get married. . . Like the fine wines in our famous cellar, The Forge only improves with age. Here's to the next 40 years." And 40 years more of wishing if only those walls could talk!
Irene Marie, Miami's first full service modeling agency in biz for 25 years and the subject of a short lived MTV reality series 8th and Ocean, has gone out of biz, according to WPLG. "Models who go to the front door [of the Ocean Drive agency] are greeted by a paper directing clients to an attorney. That attorney, Joel Tabas, said Irene Marie's business revenues dropped 90 percent in one year," WPLG reports. The models are not happy and are owed money. It's a sad state of affairs for owner Marie, who feels terrible. We wish them luck.
On the brighter side, if all else fails for the newly unemployed models consider this: Mansion is hosting a two-for-one chance at stardom Friday night. First up, MTV reality show Paris Hilton's My New BFF II is hosting a casting to help the heir head find yet another new lackey best friend. Or, you can try out for Cosmopolitan Magazine's upcoming Nikki Beach Bikini Bash (March 14) photo shoot. But before you throw on your skimpiest bikini, you'll just be meeting casting directors who will sign you up for the photo shoot, so leave the thong at home. Doors open at 11 p.m.
The times sure are a changin'. Just announced: Iconic South Beach nightclub Opium Garden and its club within a club Prive are moving out of the 33139. While Prive will remain alive and well in Las Vegas, Opium Garden is moving to The Seminole Hard Rock Hotel & Casino in the 40,000 square foot space formerly known as Spirits. "We've had incredible memories in Opium's South Beach location, and never imagined the success and growth that our first venue would bring us," Opium's partners collaboratively announced. "Almost a decade later, with five successful brands in our collection, we look forward to brining the unparalleled fun, fanfare and celebrity appeal that we're known for to the new Opium at The Seminole Hard Rock." The new Opium is slated to open next month. As for what will go into the massive space on Collins Avenue in the South of Fifth area? Anything, as long as it's not a Chili's. A roller rink would be pretty swell. And while Opium is soon gone, addicts will find a new venue from the gang, The Wall and The Grove Garden & Bar at the soon to open W South Beach, along with partners Nicola Siervo and Karim Masri of Mokai fame.
On-again, off-again, never-together-but-effing-with-us duo Lindsay Lohan and Samantha Ronson are hosting a big Valentine's Day party on February 14th at the Seminole Hard Rock Hotel & Casino's appropriately titled Passions nightclub. No further details yet, but are they really needed?
So the official word is that Ocean Drive mag's Editor-in-Chief Glenn Albin and Art Director Carlos Suarez have been promoted to Editoral Director and Creative Director of Niche Media and will move to NYC to work from the umbrella company's new 45,000 square foot corporate headquarters effective January 1. According to a press release, "Albin and Suarez will be responsible for staffing up the editorial teams in local markets, and building and strengthening each publication's local presence." The only comment Jerry Powers, president of Niche Media, made was about Niche's expansion of its custom publishing division (ie. Art Basel, Trump and Wynn Resorts Las Vegas) saying that "Custom Publishing has been and continues to be an incredible asset to building our revenues and aligning us with some of the most prominent entrepreneurs and brands in the country." No official word on other personnel changes in the Miami-based office was given.
