Almost three weeks after we originally reported that casting agents were having an impossible time filling some vacant slots on the second attempt at The Real Housewives of Miami, sources tell us that yet another wave of wise women have declined the dubious offer to appear on the show. Seems like the casting crew is going through all of the city's illustrious publications and contacting everyone who appears in them in various incarnations from staffers to pose striking socialites--in other words, pretty much everone and everything but the font and those annoying subscription cards. One woman told us she was contacted twice, even after adamantly refusing the first time. "They're calling everyone," she wrote in an email. "It's embarrassing." Sounds like the only way they'd fill the vacancies was if Michaele Salahi, Jill Zarin and all the other Housewives castoffs just moved to Miami. But that won't happen, plus, the name Desperate Housewives is already taken.
October 03, 2011
May 21, 2011
Here's Lindsay Lohan in rare form, like we've never seen her---working in Miami as opposed to channeling her inner Janis Joplin like she used to back when she was barely legal. In town for just the weekend, Lohan did her best Marilyn Monroe impression at a cover shoot on the roof of the Raleigh Hotel for Plum Magazine. Says our spy, "Her hair and dress were blowing up in the wind, possibly showing more than she intended." But what was seen at the shoot was a hell of a lot better what some have seen from her in the past. And about that past: Lohan's Miamified magazine mug shot will be unveiled on June 15th--just two days before the troubled starlet will have to surrender to authorities to begin serving her jail time for that stolen necklace nonsense. Note to all aspiring starlets: getting arrested and thrown in jail doesn't always guarantee you a magazine cover so do not try this at home.
September 21, 2010
In a scene straight out of, say, 2003, actress (?) Tara Reid was seen partying in Miami over the weekend, swilling around LIV and Mondrian and then here at the Hibiscus Island sprawl of credit card machine mogul George Wallner. All that was missing was Paris Hilton, who was, uh, previously committed. According to a fellow party goer, Reid, who looks pretty good for such a hardcore party girl, had just broken up with her boyfriend and was celebrating. "She almost completely lost her voice," said our very vocal source. Maybe it's at the lost and found along with her career?
September 17, 2010
Looking like Jo Ann Worley on a commercial break from Laugh-In, American Idol runner up Adam Lambert made a big stink at The Raleigh after a photog did him a favor and tried to take his picture on the beach behind the hotel. Although the pix may look like a Lambertian mating ritual, the squealer, whose companion had to pull him off the pap, wasn't happy, Tweeting, "Eeew, paparazzi killed my peaceful afternoon on the beach! They're real good at provoking, but there ain't any pics or video of the bs they spew out." Black nail polish a diva doesn't make. Lambert should be thrilled anyone cared enough to take his picture. To his credit, our mole did tell us that "he took such painstaking measures to ensure anonymity." Looking like that, we don't blame him. But he does have a sense of humor, later Tweeting, "Hahha the photos are hilarious!! LOL please everyone forgive me for the hat. I was attempting a disguise--clearly failed." Conveniently failed, he meant.
August 24, 2010
The other night, The Real Housewives of New York City's Jill Zarin showed up at Caffe Abbracci in Coral Gables with an entourage of 10. The night before, actual (albeit ubiquitous, almost played out) celebrity with real talent LeBron James was there, quietly, with no entourage, no pomp, no circumstance, just having dinner almost like a normal person would. Hear that, Jill?
Then came E! reality show enigma Kendra Wilkinson, in town with a friend and assistant (because no reality show specimen is legit without an assistant to take care of important biz like texting and arranging where and when to pick up free crap). Wilkinson, who is 25 years old and has a ghost written memoir out already--eat it, Justin Bieber, was reportedly "sent" down here by her baller hubby Hank Baskett so she could "unwind" before the rigorous filming of the new season of her PBS after school special E! show.
And unwind she did, first at LIV Sunday night, where those who cared enough to recognize her amidst a sea of LIV's usual crowd of nuclear scientists and brain surgeons told us she was "raging." On Monday, Wilkinson had dinner at STK and then partied at Mokai with---wait for it---the equally stellar Kevin Federline and beleaguered music producer Scott Storch. Snooki? Forget about it. She's too A-list to join the mix. Even the Kardashians have packed up and left, trading Miami for NYC. Ah, Miami. The reality show cesspool formerly known as Heaven's Waiting Room has now become D-List heaven. Or hell, depending on how you look at it. As for us? We consider it celebrity Ambien. Thanks to Kathy Griffin, the D-List is the new A-List. As for some of these folks, well, they belong on the Zzzzzzzz-List.
August 02, 2010
It was a busy weekend having nothing to do with Lindsay Lohan's release from jail or Chelsea Clinton's nuptials. Between Rihanna in town and T.I. marrying his girlfriend, Tameka "Tiny" Cottle at the Miami Beach courthouse and then on Star Island, it was almost A-list. We emphasize almost because the not quite a singer named Ke$ha, whom we prefer to call Ke¢ha, was here, too, opening for Rihanna at her Saturday AAA show. Before heading to Cameo late Saturday night, where Rihanna, Nelly, Ashanti, Usher, Jermaine Dupri and T.I. were hanging out (because Cameo's exactly where you'd choose to go directly after getting hitched), Ke¢ha was spotted at the Robert Plant show at Bayfront, where we hope she sent her song "Tik Tok" on its own Stairway to Heaven. Meanwhile, over at Club Play Friday, ex basketball wife Shaunie O'Neal was seen with 23-year-old model boyfriend Marlon Yates. According to our source, Yates "Followed her around like a young puppy." Of course he did. After her first marriage to an alleged philanderer didn't work out, the ex Mrs. Shaq obivously hired herself the best dog whisperer money could buy. And speaking of philandering, our inbox was full this morning after a deep throat with a deep seated vendetta sent us countless emails between a certain ex NBA player and a certain Miami philanthropist. Apparently said NBA has-been, a married man, did what lots of wealthy athletes do: he cheated on his wife. And with words like the following, if we were his wife, we'd let the other woman have him: "I wanted to take your clothes off right there and LICK YOU.... I was fine. I came right home and took a cold shower and went to bed. And I didn't think about no one on the trip. I couldn't call you from Michigan because I was with the family. So what are we going to do about us?" As for the "us," well, as far as we know, that's done already. And as for why we're keeping this anonymous, let's just say we have Spam written by more famous people than this email. We just hope the wife in this case gets hold of that same dog whisperer Shaunie O'Neal used.
June 30, 2010
May 26, 2010
April 08, 2010
We've been punked! MTV pulled off a clever little prank, and it turns out that it was just a very special Jersey Shore Soils South Beach episode and the cast of guidos and guidas will soon enough be returning to Seaside, NJ where they belong, according to MTV spokeswoman Emily Yeomans. "Once the boardwalk heats back up, the series will return to the Jersey Shore to complete the season," they said. It was 60 degrees there today, so hopefully it'll be sooner than later even though we were told they are here for the next two months which, in reality show years, is an eternity. No wonder MTV didn't officially announce that season 2 was taking place in Miami. It was all just a little field trip and an elaborate ruse to throw us off (or Miami's lack of enthusiasm) and it may have been the smartest thing MTV did since canceling The Hills.
April 03, 2010
Roll out the welcome mats, the red carpets, the parties hosted by Snooki with special guest DJ Pauly D', fashion shows by J Wowww, work out sessions with The Situation, spray tanning with the other ones whose names we forget but, you know, the ones riding on this gravy trainwreck, too, and, well you get the picture. They're heeere, them Jersey Shore kids, and Miami's about to get a lot more sensational, and you decide which definition of that word we're using here. Between the hush-hush nature of their arrival and the MTV lockdown on information you'd have thought it was a matter of national security. Even the details of President Obama's April 15 visit to Miami are less secretive than this tried to be. But anyway, the giddy gang of self professed juiceheads and their molls are staying, just as we expected, in the same place as the classy chongas casting we told you about the other day. Yep, as Miami hopefuls for the Latin version of Jersey Shore lined up to outclass each other in front of casting agents at the Catalina Hotel & Beach Club, in walked a well-oiled Ronnie Magro (that's his name!), who emerged from a minivan sporting headphones and a decent tan. Ronnie was pretty low keyed when he walked past Maxine's restaurant. And then, one by one, the rest of Ronnie's entourage arrived a la the Beatles at Shea Stadium circa 1965. The anticipated (?) arrival took a lot longer than expected, perhaps because they were detained by security out of fear they may have been carrying some communicable diseases or because their stashes of gel were over the 3 ounce limit. If you missed it, don't worry. They'll be here for the next two months. But don't go stalking them at the Catalina. That was just a temporary holding cell before their "permanent" digs at sister hotel, the Metropole, was ready for them. But back to those Beatles. As all this excitement happened, none other than Sir Paul McCartney, a bona fide celebrity with talent and pedigree, quietly slipped into his hotel nearby with hardly any fanfarfe. Jersey Shore could end up being a great distraction for real talent who may actually dare to vacation in Miami for a change. In the meantime, who else will join Team Mynt as a Jersey Shore-free zone? Stay tuned for details. We you know you can't wait even if you can't admit it.