Chris Brown put on a surprise mini concert at the Hennessy V.S event Wednesday at Dream nightclub in celebration of the birthday of super producer Cool, of Cool & Dre fame. After being coaxed by the producer to get on the mic, Brown happily obliged and put on a show performing a slew of his hits including, "Look At Me Now" and "No Bullsh*t". The much maligned singer made sure to showcase his signature dance moves and pulled up his shirt to show off his rock hard abs. More than a few female admirers were clearly impressed. After performing, the singer, who is allegedly off with his on again off again girlfriend Rihanna, was, says our spy, "spotted pulling multiple hot women into his V.I.P section and serving them Hennessy V.S cocktails."
March 29, 2013
March 14, 2013
October 05, 2012
120,000 more viewers say adios to The Real Housewives of Miami
Looks like The Real Housewives of Miami audience is shrinking faster than the post partum waistline of a bona fide Hollywood celebrity. Last night's 9 p.m. numbers were a dismal 847,000, dropping a whopping 120,000 viewers from the previous week's 967,000. This, despite the TMZification of some of the cast members (see: Joanna "I'm Not a Hooker" Krupa and Alexia Echevarria's son's heinous, criminal behavior), which failed to lure in viewers. Unlike previous weeks in which Bravo tries to catch a later crowd, there was no prime time repeat last night.
Those numbers are, again, worse than the lowest rated episode of the DC edition of the Bravo franchise (1.1 million), which was eventually canceled. Though no one offical is saying anything about cutting Miami from the network, some are saying that it looks to be inevitable. Again, for perspective, a very dubious perspective at that, Jersey Shore's season premiere last night had over 4.6 million drunk people tuning in. The horror.
September 28, 2012
#RHOM audience drops below a million, losing approximately 162,000 viewers
Last night was a big TV night, but not for the ladies of The Real Housewives of Miami, unfortunately. The show's viewership has tanked again, this time going from last week's 9 p.m. numbers of 1.025 million viewers to last night's 0.967 which, in ratings talk means 967,000 viewers. Yikes. According to BravoRatings.com, that's worse than the lowest rated episode of The Real Housewives of D.C. (1.1 million), which Bravo cancelled.
To compare, though there's really no comparison, The Real Housewives of New Jersey on Sunday scored a whopping 3.4 million viewers; Wednesday night's finale of Here Comes Honey Boo Boo brought in 2.7 million and last night's Grey's Anatomy premiere, airing at the same time as RHOM, had 11.7 million people tuning in, according to TV By the Numbers.
The RHOM rerun at 10 p.m. also lost viewers compared to last week: last week's rerun had 815,000 viewers while last night's dropped to 711,000.
Despite the numbers (or lack thereof) speaking volumes and a general apathy about the show, the Twitterverse was abuzz last night over the debut of drag personality Elaine Lancaster, who eventually gets into it with the show's main sideshow, Elsa Patton. Maybe they should have put her on the first episode and, come to think of it, on the first season? Oh well. Perhaps Lancaster's celebrity BFF Pamela Anderson can help bring in some viewers now that she has some free time on her hands after being booted from Dancing With the Stars. Stay tuned. We dare you.
September 21, 2012
The Real Housewives of Miami loses viewers in its second week
Here Comes Honey Boo Boo Child, it isn't. Nor is it Pawn Stars, though some would say it's alliteratively something like it). Looks like The Real Housewives of Miami is a niche novelty for a handful of viewers, most who likely come from the city of Miami, watching purely as they would a car accident on the Palmetto during rush hour. Then again, most Miamians you talk to want nothing to do with Bravo's latest. Whatever the case, the numbers were down last night from the previous premiere week.
Viewership during the 9 p.m. time slot last week was 1.066 million as compared to last night's 1.025 million. That's a loss of approximately 41,000 viewers. To the show's credit, however, the in-your-face immediate rerun aired at 10 p.m. last night attracted (or repelled) an additional 815,000 viewers or people still sleeping from that confounding, mind numbing, nonsensical texting caper "plot" of the original airing, according to TV By the Numbers.
To put it into perspective, last night's episode of Glee, the Britney one, airing against RHOM in the 9 p.m. slot, garnered a whopping 7.42 million viewers, some who may have tuned into the RHOM repeat at 10. In fairness, the Housewives don't rake in numbers like that; The Real Housewives of NYC's Monday episode brought in 1.989 million viewers. Honey Boo Boo's Wednesday night episode had 2.157 million voyeurs. When Honey Boo Boo meets Elsa Patton, the ratings will be through the roof.
September 14, 2012
The Real Housewives of Miami 2.0 gets off to a slow, rubbernecking start
The Real Housewives of Miami's premiere episode was as if the city of Miami went out on a long bender of stereotypes and spent the entire next day hurling over the toilet bowl. We've got the fiery Latinas, the smarmy, "wealthy" boyfriends, the boobs, the waterfront estates, the boobs, the models, and more boobs. As another housewife from another city famously said, "Money can't buy you class," and everyone knows that The Real Housewives franchise is to class as Teen Mom is to abstinence.
That being said, there are hints of class in some of the cast members, namely Lea Black, wife of famous attorney Roy and about whom many wonder what the hell she is doing on the show besides promoting her skin care line (or surgeon) that has obviously been very good to her. In terms of class, Black is truly out of her element. But we'll see if that remains so as the trainwreck starts careening out of control off the track.
With no need to do a recap of the dizzying, mostly dull first episode, it's easy to sum most of the women up: professionals (some, allegedly, in more ways than one) whose current, impressive (dentist, lawyer, publicist) careers obviously aren't enough to satisfy them. They want more. More money, more fame, and by golly, they will do whatever it takes to stand out on this show even if it means coming off as a telenovela cast off who got fired for overacting. And who can blame them, really? But to achieve fame, they'll need to do a whole lot more than re-Tweet fawning fan mail ("Team [Insert Name of Fave Housewife as If She's a Derby Horse or an NBA Franchise]" hashtag, excamation points) from lonely, celeb-obsessed followers sitting at home alone with their cats unable to get replies from actual celebrities. A root canal is really cool, but it's not going to get you on the cover of Us Weekly. There's the rub.
What will get them on the covers of any magazines (including Modern Science if it still exists) is the elephant in the room: Elsa Patton, a dramatic device of Shakespearean proportion and someone without whom this show could never survive. Call it exploitative, call it cruel, call it scary, but Patton is the Honey Boo Boo Child/Big Ang/Snooki of this franchise and everyone else has no choice but to, er, pale in comparison. No amounts of plastic surgery, implants or even money can compete. For better or for worse, this show needs her. And it is due to that rubbernecking reflex that this writer, among many others, will continue to watch even if it is up against Glee a show about, you know, talent.
Patton, incidentally, will be laughing her own way to the plastic surgeon's office bank: She, of course, now has her own coffee line and her own Bravo web series, both which go by the name Havana Elsa.
As for the general public's consensus, it was all about Elsa with some sprinklings of comments about model Joanna Krupa's beauty and the irony of her upgrading, not downgrading remark considering where she's making them--on a television "reality" show.
Bravo definitely missed the Miami boat by not starting this series years ago, when people still had patience to follow the vapid, insipid lives of "regular" rich folk. Like some of the women on this show, it's past its prime. Today, people would rather commiserate with the real "real" people, following the so-called white trash, wacked out woes of the working class. The women on Miami aren't working, they're just working it (some really, really, painfully hard)--something that's a little too late for the reality TV bubble.
[Full disclosure: A few of the cast members on this show are this writer's personal friends and/or acquaintances]
Real Housewives of Miami premiere ratings: 1.066 mil viewers compared to NFL at 8.5m, Pawn Stars 2.2m, Project Runway 2m, Snooki & JWoww 1.5m (Source: http://tvbythenumbers.zap2it.com/2012/09/14/thursday-cable-ratings-thursday-night-football-tops-night-awkward-sullivan-son-snooki-jwoww-project-runway-impractical-jokers-more/148643/)
March 13, 2012
Caption This: Elsa Patton strikes a pose for The Real Housewives of Miami
Although it was a benefit for The Little Lighthouse Foundation, a non-profit organization that "rallies volunteers and conducts high-profile events to benefit children and their families throughout South Florida," Saturday night's Hearts & Stars gala at the home of socialite Malinka Max (more on her later) and George Wallner turned out to be yet another opportunistic spectacle by The Real Housewives of Miami, namely Elsa Patton, who we are told was overheard complaining "What is this horrible event? I'm ready to go." We can't tell you whether or not the event was horrible--not everyone loves a splashy gala. What we can tell you is that the producers are completely exploiting "Mama Elsa" as a sideshow attraction in order to keep those rubbernecking viewers coming back for more. As for Malinka Max, a socialite whom some say would have been an excellent addition to this cast, we're told "She was horrible on camera." How much worse than the others could she possibly be? Anyway, stay tuned as the cameras continue to film at the opening of every envelope and toilet lid around town.
When it comes to these Housewives shows, there's several sides of a story: hers, hers, hers, hers, the "truth" and the truth. Shortly after posting the above, we received this photo with a comment that Patton had a blast and danced all night. "She danced all night even after being accidentally kicked in the head by one of the new cast members," says our informant. Kicked in the head by one of the new cast members. Hey,the show must go on. Slapshtick only by Bravo.
October 03, 2011
Willing Real Housewives of Miami harder to find than bin Laden & Waldo
Almost three weeks after we originally reported that casting agents were having an impossible time filling some vacant slots on the second attempt at The Real Housewives of Miami, sources tell us that yet another wave of wise women have declined the dubious offer to appear on the show. Seems like the casting crew is going through all of the city's illustrious publications and contacting everyone who appears in them in various incarnations from staffers to pose striking socialites--in other words, pretty much everone and everything but the font and those annoying subscription cards. One woman told us she was contacted twice, even after adamantly refusing the first time. "They're calling everyone," she wrote in an email. "It's embarrassing." Sounds like the only way they'd fill the vacancies was if Michaele Salahi, Jill Zarin and all the other Housewives castoffs just moved to Miami. But that won't happen, plus, the name Desperate Housewives is already taken.
May 21, 2011
Exclusive pix of Lindsay Lohan's latest Miami mug shots!
Here's Lindsay Lohan in rare form, like we've never seen her---working in Miami as opposed to channeling her inner Janis Joplin like she used to back when she was barely legal. In town for just the weekend, Lohan did her best Marilyn Monroe impression at a cover shoot on the roof of the Raleigh Hotel for Plum Magazine. Says our spy, "Her hair and dress were blowing up in the wind, possibly showing more than she intended." But what was seen at the shoot was a hell of a lot better what some have seen from her in the past. And about that past: Lohan's Miamified magazine mug shot will be unveiled on June 15th--just two days before the troubled starlet will have to surrender to authorities to begin serving her jail time for that stolen necklace nonsense. Note to all aspiring starlets: getting arrested and thrown in jail doesn't always guarantee you a magazine cover so do not try this at home.
Photos: MAVRIXONLINE.COM
September 21, 2010
Déjà view circa 2003: Newly single Tara Reid parties (again) on South Beach
In a scene straight out of, say, 2003, actress (?) Tara Reid was seen partying in Miami over the weekend, swilling around LIV and Mondrian and then here at the Hibiscus Island sprawl of credit card machine mogul George Wallner. All that was missing was Paris Hilton, who was, uh, previously committed. According to a fellow party goer, Reid, who looks pretty good for such a hardcore party girl, had just broken up with her boyfriend and was celebrating. "She almost completely lost her voice," said our very vocal source. Maybe it's at the lost and found along with her career?
