Scene in the Tropics

Memo to Sammy Sosa: lighten up!

 

 

It seems that the one thing Sammy Sosa didn't get for his birthday was a sense of humor. And that's exactly what radio host Enrique Santos, so-called King of All Spanglish Media and host of his eponymous show on Univision Radio’s Miami affiliate La Kalle 98.3 FM, wanted to give him as a gift last night. Santos never had the chance. Invited as a guest to Sosa's big birthday bash at the Fontainebleau, Santos thought he'd have a little fun with the whole Lightening Gate situation and show up at the party looking like he got locked into a spray tan booth. "I'm currently using a cream which has darkened my complexion," Santos says. "Ironically, Sammy is going through the same process, but the cream he is using is making him white." While on the red carpet doing interviews, Santos was approached by a publicist who asked him what he was doing, telling Santos, "You can't make fun of him," and ultimately kicking him out of the affair. "I explained to her that it was a special cream I was using that darkened my face and then I asked her, 'How many women in here are wearing makeup?'' but she wasn't having it," Santos tells us. "Was I not white enough for Sammy's party or have the millions gotten to his head--I mean skin?"

Snap! Pamela Anderson bans photogs from Make-a-Wish

 
What happens when a well known celebrity photographer attempts to shoot Pamela Anderson without a ring light that covers up all the pinup's flaws and blemishes? No, they don't force the photog to sit through Barb Wire on auto rewind, they ban that photographer from taking her picture tomorrow night at the Make-a-Wish gala where the former Baywatch star is serving as emcee of the live auction. Apparently the photographer was called out for not using the magic light at her perfume launch at the W Fort Lauderdale last night. After a run in with her manager, the photog was told he can't shoot her tomorrow night. No big deal, really. In support of the forbidden snapper, another well known celeb photog is refusing to shoot Anderson tomorrow night--sort of. "She wants a ring light, I'll give her a ring light," says the supportive snapper. "I'm going to take my flash and put an onion ring on it."  

The Daily Mail Makes a Big Stink About Marc Anthony's Profuse Perspiration

We know some Brits don't love the Daily Mail for all sorts of socio-political reasons, but we absolutely adore them for honing in on the real story here: Marc Anthony's sweaty pits stealing wife Jennifer Lopez's limelight at the Dolphins/Saints game yesterday. No, we're not kidding. They wrote an entire story on Anthony's "unsightly sweat patches" complete with pictures to illustrate in case you didn't already get the stomach churning point. Oh yeah, and they also talk about Lola @ LIV, where those who were expecting a live performance of Fresh Out Of The Oven got a video launch instead which some said, shockingly, was also 'the pits.'  Read the DM's exclusive story, 'Jennifer Lopez's husband Marc Anthony works up a real sweat in the Miami heat' here.

Photo: Manny Hernandez Photos
 

Lola "Live" at LIV

Little people, big mall, big(ish) trouble

 

Leave it to our childhood pal Jeff Beacher, the PT Barnum of the Paris Hilton generation, to make headlines in a mall in Plantation, of all places. In town for Jeff Beacher's Madhouse show at the Seminole Coconut Creek tomorrow night, one of the show's main mini players, Oompa Loompa impersomator Donnie Davis, was detained by cops after he was caught promoting the show at the Westfield Broward Mall without permission. Slow news day at the mall, for sure, but from what we heard, the cops were such fans of the show, hearing about them via Howard Stern, that when the rest of the merry gang of self promoting Oompas came into the holding cell in support of their pal, the cops asked them to pose for a few photo ops and then let 'em go. See, Randy Newman? Short people do have reason to live after all.

W (TF)?

 

Seems like the W in the new hotel, W South Beach, doesn't exactly stand for 'welcome'. Turns out, one of our readers ventured to the property last week for a little lunch and a look see and was approached by a security guard and asked to leave. According to the reader, non guests of the hotel do not have access to the restaurants, bars and clubs. An email the reader forwarded to us from the hotel's general manager, Eduardo Fernandez confirms that, saying, "I apologize if you feel that our staff was not courteous to you during while you visited our establishment. Due to the large volume of people coming and going to the beach and attempting to use our hotel and our restrooms, we have implemented a policy limiting the use of the lobby, living room, and pool areas for guests and residents only." The pool we get, but the lobby and living room areas? Please! We understand if the owner of Mr. Chow arch nemesis Philippe wants to come hang out in the lobby giving threatening looks to customers, but as for the rest of us, the nerve! Wait! That's circa 1996-era Delano calling and asking for their policy back.

In all fairness, we went to the W South Beach last night expecting to be booted, but, shockingly we weren't met with any resistance despite the fact that a fashion show was pending at the pool and despite the fact that the new club Wall was previewing. Perhaps it's just during daytime hours that the W is off limits. We are still waiting on the official word from the hotel's pr reps so stay tuned. In the meantime, the W, for those who  have yet to go, is a hot looking place, if not a mini-Setai.

UK tabloids out of control, claiming Al Malnik is the father of Jacko's youngest son!

 

Britain's Daily Star wins the prize for the most absurd Michael Jackson story thus far, claiming that The Forge's Al Malnik is the biological dad of Jackson's youngest child, Prince Michael II, aka Blanket. The rag took Malnik's statements out of context, of course, to wrongfully assume he was the dad. Malnik, who gave an on record interview to the New York Times over the weekend had said "[Michael] asked me, if anything happened to him, I would become godfather and parent to Prince Michael." Ok, so Malnik was the godfather, no pun intended to those who know about his past alleged ties to Al Capone. But the rag goes even further saying how photos show a resemblance between Jackson's older child Paris and Malnik's own daughter with wife Nancy. A shady source told the Daily Star, "Malnik has made no secret of the fact that he has a special relationship with Michael. And now he claims he is the father of his third child. If you look at pictures if Michael's daughter Paris and Malnik's own daughter, they both have a very similar look about them." Of course Malnik's spokesperson has dismissed these claims as ridiculous and frankly so do we. [Insert "the kid is not my son/Billie Jean" joke here]. The only truth to the entire absurdity may be the fact that Malnik, who helped bail his famous pal out during his financial/legal firestorm in the early 2000s, first met Jackson in a Beverly Hills plastic surgery clinic. Now that would make some sense but as for the rest, the only thing we believe Malnik donated to Jackson was money and even friendship, not, dare we say, sperm.

Caking up like the Kardashians

 

Because we don't already have enough of the real things, the Clevelander is hosting a Khloe Kardashian lookalike contest Thursday night and here's the rub---the contestants are all drag queens! Sounds ridiculous, but would be even more so if they had a drag king contest to go along with it to find the ultimate Bruce 'stepdad of Khloe" Jenner lookalike. Elaine Lancaster is emceeing and there's a $1,000 door prize to the best drag Khloe, who will also win 15 minutes of something or other with an appearance on Kourtney and Khloe Take Miami. The biggest winner of the night, however, is Save Dade, which will benefit from the evening's liquor proceeds.

Tag and Dash

  

Strangely after we revealed the address of the Kardashian sisters' Washington Avenue boutique Dash, the store was tagged with what sister Kourtney described on her website as gang related graffiti. "The damage is pretty  bad ,but they are painting over it now," she writes on her blog. "No one was targeting the store or Kim, Khloe and myself, specifically." Or so she thinks. Perhaps the Jonas Brothers are planning to open a boutique nearby and felt threatened by the competition or maybe the "vandalism" was a dramatic and artistic device concocted by the set designer and producer of Kourtney and Khloe Take Miami to drum up biz and ratings? If it isn't a ratings ploy, it's not a very nice Miami welcome for the girls, now, is it? We'll know if we've all been duped when some of that same graffiti starts appearing on Dash threads.

Long Island Ho-lita to hit South Beach

It's shocking she's never been down here before, really, but this weekend none other than Amy Fisher, aka The Long Island Lolita, will be on South Beach celebrating mother's day. Awww, so sweet. But it's not without a twist, of course. Fisher is here thanks to the Exxotica porn convention, hosting a Mother's Day MILF contest in which she is looking for the sexiest moms out there. If you are over 30 and aren't afraid of being Buttofuocoed allegedly hot, heep your husbands and boyfriends locked up at home and head to the Miami Beach Convention Center Sunday to be judged, yikes, by Fisher. Winner could score a trip for two to Jamaica. If you're not a mom or you're just not hot but have a morbid curiosity about what becomes of a real life person who shoots another person in the face and makes a career out of it, check out Fisher's booth at the convention where she is hawking G-d knows what. On another note we can't help but notice that Fisher's hubby, Louis Bellera, is a dead ringer not only for a Sopranos extra, but for George Anthony, father of accused child murderer Casey Anthony. Photo: TheSceneMiami.com

Paris Hilton and Doug Reinhardt are outta here!

  After spending all day at the Delano yesterday where they were busy playing an intense game of grab ass, Paris Hilton and beau du jour Doug Reinhardt planned to hit LIV at the Fontainebleau not realizing they'd be the ones getting hit there. According to RadarOnline, the duo were hanging out at the mega club when Hilton decided to request a song from the DJ--Madonna or The Black Eyed Peas, in case you care. All of a sudden, fragile Hilton was allegedly pushed by a bodyguard. To the rescue came Reinhardt, who told the bodyguard to lay off his woman. "I came to Paris' aid," Reinhardt said in his best chivalrous voice. "I can't believe someone would do this to us, it's really scary," Hilton added. Like, yeah. Unfortunately Reinhardt left with a bloody lip, which is so  not hot. No charges were pressed. The duo said they couldn't wait to get the heck out of Miami, possibly the smartest thing that ever came from Hilton's mouth, but not before stopping by another club after the smackdown. Yes, that's right,we have learned exclusively that after poor Dougie got a bloody lip, the two stopped by the Pink Elephant party at Mokai, where they were seen entering through a back door. So the whole thing couldn't have been that traumatic, right? Read Paris's very own, warbling version of the incident on her MySpace blog here if you can take it.

Photo:TheSceneMiami.com