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July 16, 2013

Golden Beach swears in its new cop: Shaquille O'Neal

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In addition to hawking Icy Hot and cars, Shaquille O'Neal can now stop cars as an official Golden Beach police officer. The ex-Miami Heat player, who was once a reserve cop on Miami Beach, was sworn in today in a ceremony that included the city's mayor, Glenn Singer. The tony beach town had, as of 2010, a population of 919, but it's money, not size, that matters here. And while the crime rate as of 2011 was a nominal 97.8 versus the United States average of 302.7, they're not messing around in Golden Beach, one of Miami's most notorious speed traps. The connection between Shaq and Golden Beach? Police Chief Donald DeLucca used to be chief in Miami Beach. As for when to be on the lookout for Officer O'Neal, according to a city rep, "I’m not sure when exactly he’ll be on [but] I do know that he has been brought on as a part-time reserve officer with the Town though." As for how to weasel your way out of a Shaq-issued citation, tell him it's your opinion that you have done nothing wrong because, according to the quotable O'Neal (who himself was once busted for speeding), "Opinions are like belly buttons; everybody has one. I never knock a man for his opinion."

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