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March 13, 2012

Caption This: Elsa Patton strikes a pose for The Real Housewives of Miami

Although it was a benefit for The Little Lighthouse Foundation, a non-profit organization that "rallies volunteers and conducts high-profile events to benefit children and their families throughout South Florida," Saturday night's Hearts & Stars gala at the home of socialite Malinka Max (more on her later) and George Wallner turned out to be yet another opportunistic spectacle by The Real Housewives of Miami, namely Elsa Patton, who we are told was overheard complaining "What is this horrible event? I'm ready to go." We can't tell you whether or not the event was horrible--not everyone loves a splashy gala. What we can tell you is that the producers are completely exploiting "Mama Elsa" as a sideshow attraction in order to keep those rubbernecking viewers coming back for more. As for Malinka Max, a socialite whom some say would have been an excellent addition to this cast, we're told "She was horrible on camera." How much worse than the others could she possibly be?  Anyway, stay tuned as the cameras continue to film at the opening of every envelope and toilet lid around town.

When it comes to these Housewives shows, there's several sides of a story: hers, hers, hers, hers, the "truth" and the truth. Shortly after posting the above, we received this photo with a comment that Patton had a blast and danced all night. "She danced all night even after being accidentally kicked in the head by one of the new cast members," says our informant. Kicked in the head by one of the new cast members. Hey,the show must go on. Slapshtick only by Bravo.


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Ruth! Ruth! Baby! Ruth! --Sloth from The Goonies


That poor woman should be enjoying her golden years out of the glare of peoples & her doger, my english not so good/ dautter ?

This photo goes to prove you can make a 'poly purse out of a sow's ear'. TRAGIC all the way around.


Freak show circus

Charlie D`Angelo

Wow, she plucked me out of the crowd several times to express how wonderful this event was and how proud she was of the fact that young lady like Malinka Max was doing good something for the community. Double-faced Elisa?...


Leslie Darling, I know in the age of so called "blog journalism," fact checking and basic sentence structure might be something you personally have little regard for. Do be a dear, though, and check your sources a little more carefully before you drag the name of the paper, the city, and most importantly, an elderly woman through the mud in order to satisfy some childish and petty personal vandetta. As one of the 1,000 guests, I, like many saw Elsa laughing, repeatedly getting out of her seat to dance, and enjoying the night like a woman half her age. A lesson to the wise: those who don't check their sources get played. And you, my dear, have been played more times than any of the Housewives you so often toil your time "writing" about...


Darling Timarchus or is it JUDAH ? I was at this way too crowded event and was not happy to buy a table against a wall only to hear people say they were given comp tickets & then to be made to feel like we were being Used as extra's for Bravo. Ms. Patton did look and appeared miserable except when the camera light shown. My husband & our table guest even made the very comments stated in Lesley's above mention. Your personal attacks clearly shows you have an emotional investment in this writer/blogger opinion. Perhaps you are one of hundreds who thought they should have been cast as a Housewife and think your life is so exciting and the entire country must watch your every move. I live in Reality & do not Watch it on a television. Might I suggest you Get a life?


Felicity, for an individual who lives entirely in reality rather than television, you seemingly have an oddly vast and somewhat laughable knowledge of the innocuous detail of how these shows are cast and made. While I personally have little desire to watch the Bravo show and far less be the focus of one, I know that all media exposure shines a light on the very charitable cause we all care so dearly about. Ultimately, if you were drawn to the event by a desire to raise awareness and affect change, I doubt you would be mired down and plagued by the feeling of "being an extra." Otherwise, you might want to ask yourself why you were there in the first place? If you do so desperately desire a "comp ticket", surely you could find someone from among the city's more charitable lot to pay for you...

Lesley Abravanel

Anonymous fighting is truly my favorite, but "Timarchus," you have it all wrong. The only vendetta I have is against idiocy. Yes, I know I write long sentences. My English teachers always told me I was quite Dickensian that way. Nonetheless, you know nothing about my sources, who they are, and what they tell me. They're players alright, all vying for attention. You'd be shocked or maybe not so shocked if you did know who they were, and then we could discuss who's being played. Furthermore, nothing in the above post tries to "drag the name of the paper, the city, and most importantly, an elderly woman through the mud." Let's take a step back for a moment and realize this is about a reality television show, not Syria. It's fun to see how seriously people take these shows, which do provide me with such good fodder, especially in a city where fame is like pork--it's the other white meat for many. And thanks for taking the time to write in. I do love a good banter. As for Felicity, whoever you are--thanks for defending me, but I can do that myself. Fighting on blogs is cowardly unless you post your real names. If not, let's move on, 'cos there's nothing to see here but nonsense.

Mira Nova

I have to agree with the comment above. I was a guest at this event and observed the housewives, including Elsa Patton, dancing, laughing and having a great time. It was lovely to see Elsa living it up. She was less a "sideshow attraction" as your publication claims and more the life of the party. I wish more people her age would enjoy life that much. Go Elsa!

Lesley Abravanel

There's no question the woman loves the cameras...why else would she do it? That's not the issue I raise. I do think they are exploiting her, but hopefully for her sake, she gets the last laugh.

Lesley Abravanel

It would make a really fun blog item if I posted how Timarchus is Fremantle Media, producers of, you guessed it, The Real Housewives of Miami. IP addresses reveal amazing things. Don't y'all have a show to make watchable?

Buck Winthrop

Wow. How stupid can people be?? They really sound desparate. There should be a law against the way they are using and abusing this poor woman for the sake of "ratings". Although, to be fair does not seem to be a gun pointed at her head either.

When you post something online under a fake name, your computers IP address is captured and everything can be traced right down to what internet carrier the person uses. Amazing these nerds don't realize that! Hysterical, really.


"....Timarchus is Fremantle Media, producers of, you guessed it, The Real Housewives of Miami. IP addresses reveal amazing things..."

HaHaHa awesome detective work! I can't stop laughing!


This is seriously hilarious. Way to go, Leslie. As if it wasn't obvious enough that said individual "Timarchus" had SOMETHING to do with the show from merely the comments, now they get found out. Gotta love modern technology. We all know these women are a complete joke. Does anyone actually watch the show? It's embarrassing for Miami. Had to laugh uncontrollably at a comment on another one of your posts about one of them "doing it only to promote her charity." Come on, we Miami people may be pretty but we aren't that stupid... obviously they all do this simply to promote themselves. NO well-respected woman with half a brain would sign up to shame their families and give miami a bad name like this show (and every washed-up "housewife") does.


I can't tell what's more entertaining, the articles or the comments. :)


Dragging someone through the mud? Are you kidding me? They already volunteered for that by being on this show! What a crock. That entire show drags Miami through the mud! Move over Magic City, it's VAPID city now. Kudos to Lesley for keeping it real ...

Brian Gonzalez

I must say that woman & her daughter are exactly what is WRONG with Miami. If the nation tunes in and sees those two they are going to think what a FREAK Show, but maybe that is what the producers are wanting. The Cuban American community in Florida are collectively covering our faces with shame from these Outcast.



Eleanor Steinberg

It isnt just the cubans who are embarased by this show, Brian. The entire city is.

Sally Cannon

Can't believe all the neg's I am reading, even before the show has aired. You all must really be bored to such comments as freak show. Elsa and daughter are very sweet and enjoyed them in season 1.

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