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September 15, 2011

An offer most have refused: to be the next 'real housewife' of Miami!

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When it comes to our telegenic, yet ratings-challenged city, Bravo just won't leave it alone. After firing the first casting crew responsible for the worst TV chemistry since Rock Hudson and Susan St. James
in McMillan and Wife several months ago, the network has been on a relentless, hardcore, yet thus far futile quest to fill a few vacant slots left by Christy Rice (whose ex baller hubby Glen has eclipsed her once again thanks to his allegations of scoring with Sarah Palin) and Larsa Pippen, two of the Real Housewives of Miami freshman class. After today's alleged mass firing (Jill Zarin, Alex McCord and Kelly Bensimon are supposedly out) at The Real Housewives of NYC, there could be more openings to fill.

If TV viewers are lucky, all spots will remain vacant and it will just go the way of that last reality show hangover, Miami Social, but casting agents are persistent and combing our city for a few women insane enough to feign camaraderie with the other ladies and have a camera crew follow their oft-staged and more oft-than-not mundane exploits (cooking party, anyone?). From what we hear, no one wants anything to do with it. Can you blame them? If you ask the casting agents, however, they just haven't found the right ones. We did contact them for comment but we're sure they have to pass it by their TV bosses for approval. But what do you think they're gonna say?

In addition to a bizarre, random Twitter campaign, here's the email that's been sent all over town, from publicists' in boxes to journalist tool Help A Reporter Out (HARO) and, at this point, we'd not be surprised if it was plastered on some bathroom walls: "Major Cable Network is seeking fabulous, glamorous, affluent, women and their families in Miami! Email: miamiwomencasting@gmail.com for additional information." The casting agents are cold calling, too. Said one local publicist, "They called our offices yesterday saying, 'You never know, you might be the next housewife.' Uhh, no thanks."

We also spoke to one of those "fabulous, glamorous, affluent women," one who asked us not to use her name, who said, "Someone, I guess, recommended me to them and they called me out of the blue and begged me to consider doing it. I saw two episodes of the first one and was mortified for them. Who in their right mind would ever?" Well, lots of women, and that's what the casting agents and the network are banking on. Someone feisty enough, funny enough or downright crazy enough to do such a thing and to pull off the impossible and prove to us naysayers that a season two isn't the television equivalent of Dirty Dancing: Havana Nights.

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