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January 31, 2011

Britney, baby, one more time: Diet Cokes, ciggies and a skort

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Although having Britney Spears as your bridesmaid isn't as colossal an error as, say, having Charlie Sheen as your best man, you have to say that Spears's assistant Brett Miller must have been very secure in her position as bride to tap her boss as one of her 'maids at her wedding Saturday night at North Miami Beach's Spanish Monastery. We also have to admit that when a deep throat leaked the info to us that a one Miss [sic] "Brittany" Spears would be at a wedding in NMB, we just laughed. For many reasons.

Nonetheless, Spears and boyfriend Jason Trawick, as you've all heard by now, were here, were at the wedding and were responsible for waking a slumbering slew of paparazzi from their recent dry spells as they scrambled to snap the singer any which way they could. And while we don't have pix, we have some more details, for those who care about this sort of thing:

1. Britney checked into the Newport Beachside Hotel & Resort, the official "wedding hotel," Thursday with Trawick and her parents--separate rooms, thank goodness.

2.  Skipping the rehearsal dinner that night, Spears and Trawick ordered room service for themselves and the bodyguard from Kitchen 305: spaghetti Bolognese, turkey burger, chicken noodle soup, fruit plate and chicken sandwich.

3. After checking out of the hotel Friday morning because the pool was deemed "not private enough," Spears and beau checked into the Fontainebleau, whose pools are as private as a porn star's genitalia.

4.Spears returned to the Newport Friday night for a pre-wedding party. She wore a champagne-colored skort dress. Yep, a skort dress. Sort of like a spork, but wearable. She also did her own hair and makeup--"heavy black eyeliner," says our spy. Her boyfriend, unfortunately, didn't wear a matching skort. Instead, he was "totally underdressed in a flannel and sneakers."

5. Upon their arrival, boyfriend took Spears' hand, "led her and twirled her" a la Gene Kelly. Or, depending on who you asked, the male version of Bristol Palin on Dancing With the Stars.

6. Brit drank only Diet Coke and took "numerous smoke breaks on the pool deck."

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