Scene in the Tropics

Alex Rodriguez sells Miami Beach manse to a mystery Palm Beach celeb for $30M

TMZ reports that ARod has left the building--that is, his 9 bedroom, 11 bathroom Miami Beach manse, which he just sold for $30 million. Though the Yankee slugger took an $8 million pay cut in the price of the home, originally listed at $38 mil, he bought it in 2010 for $7.4 million, raking in a pretty impressive profit nonetheless. The buyer, TMZ says, is a Palm Beach celeb. Rush Limbaugh? Rod Stewart? G-d forbid Donald Trump?  No one knows--yet. Says our real estate mole, "It's a couple from Palm Beach." The home is not so far from Matt Damon's, which is currently on the market for the bargain basement price of $20 million. True high rollers, however, may want to consider the Versace mansion, which just dropped its asking price today from $100 million to $75 million.

Casting call for America's Next It Girl: Mug shots not required (yet)

An allegedly major TV network is heading to South Florida on a quest to find America's Next It Girl. You know, like Paris Hilton and Khloe Kardashian? No, we're serious. The call sheet says "A major cable network is casting a new competition show to find the next Khloe Kardashian or Paris Hilton!" All you need to do is be a high achiever and fit the following requirements: "You're out every night and there's not a club you can't get into; you've got the fabulous lifestyle (clothes, car) that demands to be noticed; you are not shy about saying what you feel--and if people don't like it, tough!; every charity wants you at their event; you have high standards that must be met; people aspire to be you and you know it!" Criminal record not required. All you need to do is fill out the application, print it out, schlep to Boca's Lucx Boutique (the Posche of Boca?), 307 SE Mizner Blvd., on Wednesday, September 8 between 1 p.m. and 4 p.m. No mug shot necessary, either, just a photo ID. The rest will likely come later if you're chosen. Good luck. No, really, good luck. 

Pat Riley, who? Dwyane Wade squeeze Gabrielle Union says she's the coach

 
[Photo: Seth Browarnik/WorldRedEye.com]

Our pals at HollywoodLife.com have confirmed what many Miami Heat fans have suspected all along: Dwyane Wade gal pal Gabrielle Union wears the Armani suits in the relationship. “I feel like I’m the coach in the stands," Gabby spewed at the Swagg tent during the closing day of the Bridgehampton Polo Challenge hosted by Hamptons Magazine in Bridgehampton, N.Y. “I’m usually screaming things out that I probably shouldn’t!” As for Wade, well, "I don't like it at all," he sort of joked. "It's not even what she says, it's the looks she gives me . . . I might glance at her every now and then. She'll give me this look--this 'toughen up' thing--so I don't really look over there." Keep your eyes on the court, dude.

K-Fed, Kendra, Kardashians: Miami's life on the D-List

The other night, The Real Housewives of New York City's Jill Zarin showed up at Caffe Abbracci in Coral Gables with an entourage of 10. The night before, actual (albeit ubiquitous, almost played out) celebrity with real talent LeBron James was there, quietly, with no entourage, no pomp, no circumstance, just having dinner almost like a normal person would. Hear that, Jill?

Then came E! reality show enigma Kendra Wilkinson, in town with a friend and assistant (because no reality show specimen is legit without an assistant to take care of important biz like texting and arranging where and when to pick up free crap). Wilkinson, who is 25 years old and has a ghost written memoir out already--eat it,  Justin Bieber, was reportedly "sent" down here by her baller hubby Hank Baskett so she could "unwind" before the rigorous filming of the new season of her PBS after school special E! show.

And unwind she did, first at LIV Sunday night, where those who cared enough to recognize her amidst a sea of LIV's usual crowd of nuclear scientists and brain surgeons told us she was "raging." On Monday, Wilkinson had dinner at STK and then partied at Mokai with---wait for it---the equally stellar Kevin Federline and beleaguered music producer Scott Storch. Snooki? Forget about it. She's too A-list to join the mix. Even the Kardashians have packed up and left, trading Miami for NYC.  Ah, Miami. The reality show cesspool formerly known as Heaven's Waiting Room has now become D-List heaven. Or hell, depending on how you look at it. As for us? We consider it celebrity Ambien. Thanks to Kathy Griffin, the D-List is the new A-List. As for some of these folks, well, they belong on the Zzzzzzzz-List.

Weekend Wrap-up: Cougars, newlyweds, Ke$ha, & cheating NBA has-beens, oh my!

It was a busy weekend having nothing to do with Lindsay Lohan's release from jail or Chelsea Clinton's nuptials. Between Rihanna in town and T.I. marrying his girlfriend, Tameka "Tiny" Cottle at the Miami Beach courthouse and then on Star Island, it was almost A-list. We emphasize almost because the not quite a singer named Ke$ha, whom we prefer to call Ke¢ha, was here, too, opening for Rihanna at her Saturday AAA show. Before heading to Cameo late Saturday night, where Rihanna,  Nelly, Ashanti, Usher, Jermaine Dupri and T.I. were hanging out (because Cameo's exactly where you'd choose to go directly after getting hitched), Ke¢ha was spotted at the Robert Plant show at Bayfront, where we hope she sent her song "Tik Tok" on its own Stairway to Heaven. Meanwhile, over at Club Play Friday, ex basketball wife Shaunie O'Neal was seen with 23-year-old model boyfriend Marlon Yates. According to our source, Yates "Followed her around like a young puppy."  Of course he did. After her first marriage to an alleged philanderer didn't work out, the ex Mrs. Shaq obivously hired herself the best dog whisperer money could buy. And speaking of philandering, our inbox was full this morning after a deep throat with a deep seated vendetta sent us countless emails between a certain ex NBA player and a certain Miami philanthropist. Apparently said NBA has-been, a married man, did what lots of wealthy athletes do: he cheated on his wife. And with words like the following, if we were his wife, we'd let the other woman have him: "I wanted to take your clothes off right there and LICK YOU.... I was fine. I came right home and took a cold shower and went to bed. And I didn't think about no one on the trip. I couldn't call you from Michigan because I was with the family. So what are we going to do about us?" As for the "us," well, as far as we know, that's done already. And as for why we're keeping this anonymous, let's just say we have Spam written by more famous people than this email. We just  hope the wife in this case gets hold of that same dog whisperer Shaunie O'Neal used.