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April 03, 2010

Bienveguidos a Miami: Jersey Shore tsunami hits South Beach

Roll out the welcome mats, the red carpets, the parties hosted by Snooki with special guest DJ Pauly D', fashion shows by J Wowww, work out sessions with The Situation, spray tanning with the other ones whose names we forget but, you know, the ones riding on this gravy trainwreck, too, and, well you get the picture. They're heeere, them Jersey Shore kids, and Miami's about to get a lot more sensational, and you decide which definition of that word we're using here. Between the hush-hush nature of their arrival and the MTV lockdown on information you'd have thought it was a matter of national security. Even the details of President Obama's April 15 visit to Miami are less secretive than this tried to be. But anyway, the giddy gang of self professed juiceheads and their molls are staying, just as we expected, in the same place as the classy chongas casting we told you about the other day. Yep, as Miami hopefuls for the Latin version of Jersey Shore lined up to outclass each other in front of casting agents at the Catalina Hotel & Beach Club, in walked a well-oiled Ronnie Magro (that's his name!), who emerged from a minivan sporting headphones and a decent tan. Ronnie was pretty low keyed when he walked past Maxine's restaurant. And then, one by one, the rest of Ronnie's entourage arrived a la the Beatles at Shea Stadium circa 1965. The anticipated (?) arrival took a lot longer than expected, perhaps because they were detained by security out of fear they may have been carrying some communicable diseases or because their stashes of gel were over the 3 ounce limit. If you missed it, don't worry. They'll be here for the next two months. But don't go stalking them at the Catalina. That was just a temporary holding cell before their "permanent" digs at sister hotel, the Metropole, was ready for them.  But back to those Beatles. As all this excitement happened, none other than Sir Paul McCartney, a bona fide celebrity with talent and pedigree, quietly slipped into his hotel nearby with hardly any fanfarfe. Jersey Shore could end up being a great distraction for real talent who may actually dare to vacation in Miami for a change. In the meantime, who else will join Team Mynt as a Jersey Shore-free zone?  Stay tuned for details. We you know you can't wait even if you can't admit it.


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Buck Winthrop

I hate to once point out, lest anyone not realize, Jersey shore has been alive and well at Mansion and Cameo and many other clubs every single weekend---and on 3rd street beach. In fact, if the truth be known, The cast of Jersey Shore actually has more class than many of the people that live and/or play right under our own nose.

I just love to hear people say "Oh, there goes the neighborhood." As if they, and their co-horts are so far removed from the televised and much discussed versions of themselves..


I remember when you had to wait until Memorial Day or Labor Day weekend to experience "New York". Would it be a bad thing for South Beach to host a Jersey layover until the real Jersey Shore starts up for summer? Imagine all the revenue generated in cover charges and buckets of Natural Light at the Clevelander...and the Shore Club should probably rename itself ASAP!


patrons of the declaration of independence are celebrating the narrowed gulfs of inequality; unprecedented in scope...mortimer, an undeniable patrician would do anything to have the limelight of snooki or pauly d..the curtains that veiled the non-existent class differences have been pulled....sorry paul mccartney the people have spoken; just as his illusion became reality decades ago, jersey shore right there...no one in miami has any valid claim in speaking down on jersey shore/lifestyle. they are synonyms.


“a form of folly that is quite prevalent in New York,” where upstanding and respectable members of society “imitate the dress of the fast and loud class, because they think it is rather knowing to do so.”

CAPlastic Surgeon

Well, roll out the welcome wagon...geez. Not even I would be that rude.

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