April 01, 2010
And G-d said to Moses, "There shall be one plague more": a casting call for 'chongas and bros'
Just when you thought it couldn't get any worse, a casting announcement "for a major network" just went out for, and we quote verbatim because we could never come up with this, uh, prose: [sic]"Miami's Most Outrageous Chongas and Bro's! What we need: females & males, loud, funny and representing for Miami. It's a plus if you have: tattoos, hoop earrings, bass cars, spinners, styled hair, good body, good looks, etc. We're not looking for actors posing as a chonga/bros but it is great if you are a chonga/bro and an actor!" Ummm. No words, really except, for those who have no clue what a chonga is, click here for the Urban Dictionary definition--it makes the term 'guido' seem like titled nobility. A bro, on the otherhand isn't as offensive and is more like, well, a guido. In other words, the Miami version of Jersey Shore, which we already have now, too. Good grief. Casting is at the Catalina Hotel & Beach Club (the place many believe the Jersey Shore crew to be staying, though we think it's more likely a sibling hotel), 1732 Collins Ave. Age range: 17-28. We did a little sniffing around and this is no joke. It's completely, sadly, legit. Think Biggest Loser, Blow Out and House of Boateng. And a ps from the casting folk, again [sic]: "We need characters people, so if you feel you are a character and want national exposure then be there this Saturday! Miami represent!" Um, hasn't Miami already been represented enough?