Although Lindsay Lohan's train hasn't yet pulled into the station, where she's expected to host a party at the W tonight for 1OAK, and Snooki's still getting all pumped and bronzed up for her party at Finnegan's River, as far as we're concerned, Super Bowl is over.
With the exception of a few noteworthy events, the Audi party, the DirecTV Celebrity Beach Bowl, the uber private, exclusive, bizzy CAA party, and Michael Bay's Big Game Big Give benefiting The Giving Back Fund, we found the oversaturated celebrity party scene to be a bit lackluster, diluted and, frankly, washed up. What we witnessed was a Febreze-sponsored, Bud Light-lit, Bacardi pouring frenzy, turning compulsive scene chasers into frat boys and girls on a weekend bender and turning some stars into overexposed victims of their own (or their publicist's) self promotion, boredom, or the likeliest, quid pro quo. Not all pay for their gas, food and lodging out of their own pockets, you know.
As for Bay's event at his waterfront sprawl formerly lived in by Hulk and the Hogans, a motley slew of celebs from the now ubiquitous Kellan Lutz, AnnaLynne McCord, Ed Westwick, Chace Crawford (channeling Gossip Girl costar Westwick's Chuck Bass sipping Dewar's),and Russell Simmons, to the less visible, on a completely different level kind of celebrity like famed attorney Alan Dershowitz. The biggest star in Bay's living room, however, was his massive Mastiff, the object more pix and fawning than everyone else in the house. Maybe that's why we saw Lutz doing a lonely boy's walk of shame across the courtyard and straight to the exit.
And the week wasn't without some titillation. There was the Twilight drama, Warren Sapp's arrest, Jared from Subway, Lutz getting rejected by Maxim, some snowboarder getting rejected by Playboy, and Justin Bieber's hair.
Then at the nth hour, there was Tom Cruise, Katie Holmes, Cameron Diaz (see below), Nick Lachey, Carrie Underwood (proving she can dance more than a two step) Wilmer Valderrama, Timbaland, A-Rod, Derek Jeter and Kate Walsh at the very industry-heavy CAA party at the W. But compared to 2007 when Cruise channeled his inner thetans and boogied down with his Holmes-girl at the Marc Anthony concert and Mokai, for those of us not there to witness it, sounds like one big Ice Blended orgy at Coffee Bean and Tea Leaf. Which, for some, ahem, is a delicious thing.
Then there's A-list latecomers (see below) John Travolta and Brad Pitt, who came on game day. Better late than never, we guess. But still, there were many more somewhat amusing tidbits, from Adam Sandler showing up late, late night to STK Miami solo and helping staff clean up, to the missing swag bags lifted accidentally by the security detail of Snoop Dogg and Nick Lachey.
And though we saw our fair share of losers, there were some huge winners, such as LIV, which not only had the likes of Diddy, Rihanna and J-Lo, but bigger than that, it reeled in record breaking profits, busting the million dollar mark. Other big winners: the working girls, who sources tell us were raking in $1,000 an hour at the higher end hotels.
As for the Kardashian factor, to our delight, it wasn't as big as expected. Yes, Kim shopped at The Webster, dined with Reggie Bush at his last supper at Prime 112 in a dress allowing even those not in Miami to see as much of her as we have, hosted her own event, Leather and Laces, and showed up to a few more, but she wasn't the most ubiquitous. Not even close. In fact, we think poppet Bieber flipped his Breck Shampoo commercial hair more times than Kardashian sashayed on the red carpets. That award would go to a few people, including our beloved DJ Irie, who we're convinced has a clone to help him spin himself everywhere from The CBS Early Show and the Hennessy Black Penthouse to, well, pretty much everywhere else. Other frequent sightings included Ludacris, Pete Wentz, Nick Lachey, the aforementioned Lutz, McCord, Simmons and Westwick, Wyclef, assorted beefy former and current NFL players whose names are like Farsi to us, and, oh yeah, those kids from them thar Hills.
And, of course, at the Playboys, Penthouses, Hotel 944's, and Maxims of the week/end, lots of skin. And not of the football kind. Thanks for the mammaries, Super Bowl XLIV, it's been fun-ish. And with that, we present you with a constantly updated list (just like that ridiculous Super Bowl party on steroids list we did) of amusements as they trickle in, spanning most of the party circuit in case you, unlike us, haven't tired of it just yet. Because even though the game hasn't been played yet and Lohan has yet to crash onto the scene, as far as we're concerned, the whole thing at this point is, well, played out.
*Just like in 2007, brothers in Scientology Tom Cruise and John Travolta are both in town for the big game. Clearly the two are big football fans, because why else would they come? Certainly not to party, although both did their fair share when the 'Bowl was in town in 2003. This year, though, TomKat boogied down at Wall, while Travolta brunched it up Sunday at his fave Miami hotel, The Ritz-Carlton Key Biscayne, where our spies saw him eating with a sizeable posse.
*Thanks to Grey Goose, the CAA party at Wall at the W South Beach had everyone up and dancing on banquettes, but none as enthusiastically as Tom, Katie and Cameron, though Carrie Underwood demonstrated some rhythm of her own. While the usual Super Bowl celebrity suspects were also there, so were some fresher, not so tired, faces: Benji Madden, Eli Manning, Harry Connick, Jr. and Andy Roddick.
*Now it all makes sense. All the heavy hitters come in just for the game. Which means Brad Pitt can't be too far behind, reportedly already in Miami with son Maddox to cheer on their adopted home team the New Orleans Saints. Last time Pitt was here, he was with his dad for the 2005 Orange Bowl between the USC and Oklahoma, during which time we uncovered his hotel check in pseudonym, Bryce Pilaf, which surely has been retired since.
*E Online reports that Cameron Diaz was all over A-Rod at the CAA party at the W. If we believe the pre-fabricated hype , it's as if A-Rod is impregnated with love by osmosis as soon as he sees a blond he likes. We don't even know if this is worth investigating but, par for our course, we're on it even though A-Rod and his blondes, famous and non famous, are becoming as cliche as a Kardashian. Photo/Getty.
*Though Jennifer Lopez did make good on her concert at LIV Saturday night, when it comes to the press waiting for her midnight red carpet arrival, Jenny's on the chopping block because, well, she bypassed the red carpet completely and went straight in, pissing off many a media outlet which had fifty other places to be besides stranded on a red carpet.
*Overheard at Jim Carrey's and Jenny McCarthy's Saturday Night Spectacular benefiting autism non profit Generation Rescue at the Bank of America building downtown:Creed lead singer Scott Stapp discussing plans to attend the Super Bowl with Florida Marlins president David Samson. Rumor has it the Marlins are going the way of the Dolphins and Stapp's in talks with the baseball franchise to develop projects synergizing music and entertainment in the upcoming season. And giving Carrey some serious comedic competition last night: E!'s Chelsea Handler, who was there as were magician David Blaine, Shannon Elizabeth, Cheryl Burke, Jason Derulo and Mary McCormack. On Super Bowl Sunday, Carrey and McCartney left their hotel room in a white stretch limo with two SUV's and three motorcycle cop escorts. A motorcade, really. No wonder we have police issues down here.
* For those wondering why it took The Black Eyed Peas so long to get to their own Playboy after party, here's why. Developer John Turchin chartered a yacht and took the entire band and backup dancers direct from the back of the American Airlines Arena and back to his Dilido Island home where they partied with Turchin's friends and family, including Turchin daughter Ashley and boyfriend/biz-man Philip Levine. Only after partying there did they go to their own party. Par for the course, all of the Peas expressed great interest in buying homes at Turchin's Eagle's Nest in North Carolina. Four peas in a posh pod, indeed.
* At the Tao party at the W South Beach Friday night, Alex Rodriguez and Derek Jeter sat across from each other as DJ and Alicia Keys fiance Swizz Beats had Empire State of Mine on instant replay. Thing is, neither Yankee said a word to each other the entire night.
* Also at the Tao party, Chris Rock, who arrived asking for good friend Jamie Foxx, who was not yet in the house. Rock sat with the diminutive David Spade until Foxx finally arrived and, guess what, jumped on the mic, joined by Rock in an apropos-ish duet of Run DMC's King of Rock.
*At Club Play Saturday night: DJ Joe Dert, Tommy Lee and T-Pain all took turns on the turntable while Chris Brown, Keri Hilson and Nelly showed up to look and listen. Apparently T-Pain was shocked that Brown showed up. We're not. And while the irony of being in the same room as someone named T-Pain may have been lost on Brown, it wasn't with the everyone. As for, uh, Pain's spinning skills? All hip hop. Lee's? "Crackhead techno." Drama? "T-Pain went on first which he was so not happy about."
*While Wyclef played a 90 minute set at The Florida Room Friday night for "free" along with guests Queen Latifah and Robin Thicke, our sources tell us TFR made a donation to 'clef's charity in lieu of a performance fee. If you can call it 'in lieu of.'
*Wyclef again performed a monster set at Hotel 944 at Eden Roc Saturday night. When things started wrapping up, none other than Shaggy appeared and at 944 co-publisher Alan Roth's request, jumped on stage and joined the former Fugee for some playful duet-ing. When Roth noticed legendary rap pioneer turned NCIS star LL Cool J. standing by the stage, he asked him to join in and after some hesitation he did just that, doing an impromptu version of his classic Mama Said Knock You Out. And knocked out they were, ending the show around 3:30 a.m.
*Ubiquitous Twilight star Kellan Lutz must've partied himself out Friday night because he missed his spa appointment early Saturday morning. A class act or the product of wise handlers, Lutz, who reportedly was refused entry into the Maxim party Saturday due to a guest list snafu, tipped the spa for the services he never received.
*The Hills Audrina Patridge freaked out en route from LA to MIA when she realized she forgot to pack her panties. After calling stylist to the stars Joey Tierney in a panic, Patridge had her panties, conveniently purchased by Tierney at the ALENE Too Pop Up Boutique Poolside Bungalow at the Eden Roc Renaissance Miami Beach. The Hills were alive all over town, in fact, stopping by that J-Lo concert at the Axe Lounge at LIV where, unlike Lopez, they, of course, stopped and posed for multiple pix. Photo/Seth Browarnik, Red Eye Productions.
*Gossip Girl's resident Brit Ed Westwick, who also made quite the rounds over the weekend, arrived with a group of friends at Coco deVille and was peeved to find out the club's tables were all sold out for the night. That said, Westwick was all smiles after one of the hosts brought him to the bar and ordered him rounds of drinks.
*Melrose Place 2.0 starlet Katie Cassidy's publicist had some strict rules for SushiSamba Thursday night, telling them her client was a vegan. Turns out the clueless publicist confused vegan with "watching her carbs." Whatever the case, Cassidy ate all sorts of things and didn't look an ounce bigger. Speaking of bigger, Ross "the Intern" Matthews was also seen at the Lincoln Road sushi spot and later at Midtown sister restaurant SUGARCANE raw bar grill.
*Party politics: Seen at Sun Life Stadium: Former Secretary of State Condoleezza Rice, a huge football fan and scholar who was once urged to take the NFL Commissioner's gig; and passionate Democratic strategist/pundit and New Orleans native James Carville, who even made it onto the field along with--who else--Kim Kardashian and mom Kris Jenner, who'd throw themselves into a fiery inferno just to get on TV. Maybe they thought Kim would get her ring at that moment too?
*Nick Lachey did much more this weekend than posing with Captain Morgan. Thanks to his and Jimmie Johnson's 3rd Annual Super Skins Celebrity Golf Classic at the Biltmore Friday, close to $300,000 was raised for over 20 different charities.
*This may be the picture of the week in a very twisted way. Chris Brown with Keri Hilson at The Axe Lounge at LIV. Is that a black eye on Hilson's shirt or is she just creeped out to see him? Photo: Seth Browarnik, Red Eye Productions.
To be continued...