In an attempt to seem even more irrelevant than ever, the Delano recently unveiled Model Lounge Miami, a so-called ultra exclusive sanctuary for top models carved out of a former second floor closet featuring chairs and a snack bar serving, sit down for this one, mints. We're not kidding. Imagine Naomi Campbell in a closet that's not filled with Prada, Gucci and Louboutins. Call 911 stat! The lounge, according to a press release, is "the quintessential locale for models to kick off their heels, and chill out between takes." While we know there are still some working models here, there aren't nearly as many as there used to be (hence the closet), so this will be amusing. The lounge will also issue an "All Access Privilege Card" granted exclusively to models represented only by "premier agencies" and allowing said models access to all Delano facilities including a "private poolside Model Lounge cabana, private Model Lounge room [ed note: that would be the aforementioned closet], gym, pool and beach based on availability. Apparently this Model Lounge exists in NYC and is a smash hit, though we're not sure it's housed in a former hotel closet. Sponsored by a sandal and swimwear company called REEF, the Model Lounge will also offer its guests discounts all over town at places like The Webster and Ricky's. Oh, and as for that snack bar--the mints are provided by Ice Breaker (TM) and there will also be free Red Bull and ZonePerfect bars for those plus sized models with appetites. Sounds like a gifting suite gone bad. Really bad.