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December 31, 2006

Kritik-al Mass

Just like an old Versace print circa 1990, the scene at the late designer's manse last night was a colorful, dizzying array of mismatched people, there for publicist Jonathan Cheban's debut of his new clothing line, Kritik. Except for the big logo backdrop at the red carpet, there were no signs, however, of any such clothing line. In typical Cheban fashion, the party was all about who was there and not why they were there. A very polite and unaffected Hilary Duff told us she was having a blast in Miami even though her sister, 7th Heaven star Haylie, was more the party animal, leaving her Casa Casuarina confines the night before and sneaking out to Snatch. British singer Craig David was also there, but most Americans were more interested in former N Syncer JC Chasez, in a very Charlie Brown-ish striped polo shirt. All hell broke loose when a real A-lister finally walked through the champagne-soaked crowd. A bespectacled Matt Damon, also dressed like the down to earth dude your boyfriend pledged a fraternity with, and wife Luciana. Damon stopped to greet our friends visiting from the UK, who were more interested in the Italian soccer player who was hanging around with Nicola Siervo. Maldini, we think it was. Entourage's Kevin Connoly was there, too, with his own posse, but it was hard to see him amidst the sea of Amazonian fembots who were towering over him. Most of the celebs sought retreat in a velvet roped off room, which was hotter than a steam bath. Damon, sipping a beer, sat on a couch with his wife while most other celebs spilled out for air. Donald Trump, Jr. was also there with his wife Vanessa and while the junior Trump was just like his dad, drinking only water, a big bottle of Trump vodka sat well placed on their table. It was the junior's birthday, we were told. All we needed was senior and Rosie O'Donnell and the party would have been complete. Upon exiting around 2 am, there was still a mass of people clammoring at the gates to get in. "It's a zoo in there," said one doorman. We couldn't have said it better.