Scene in the Tropics

A very Regal Diddy

South Beach resident Jill Bauer got her very first glimpse of the Diddy during the VMA weekend and boy was it a MAJOR production.

   Bauer, standing at the corner of Alton and Lincoln Rd. Saturday evening, saw not one, but two Bentleys pull up along side the Regal Theatre and block the intersection.

Sleek and sexy: one silver, one black, both with New York City License plates. Yes, ladies and gentlemen, the Diddy has his Bentley's shipped in from the Big Apple whenever he's in town - go figure.

  Then out came one Mr. Sean ‘Puff Daddy' Combs (as he is still referred to by his driver, a man who clearly has not been brought up to speed on the Headline shattering name change).

     "I saw three guys get out of the silver Bentley guarding one guy in the middle. I couldn't really see who it was so I asked the chauffer and he said, " If you need to ask then you wouldn't know."

   Alrighty then.

  Quickly recovering from her pop culture dressdown, Bauer said she strikes up a conversation with the driver.

   "I said, ‘I bet you see some interesting things on this job."

   He says ‘Some VERY interesting things."

   Then "I said, Is he going to see the 40-year Old Virgin? ''

   Nope. "He's here to do some promotional stuff for the VMAs."

  Bauer says the Diddy had been so hastily whisked inside the cinema by his bodyguards that it was as if "he doesn't even need legs to walk! He was just whisked in there.!

  Added Bauer, who's seen a more humble Shaq grocery shopping at Publix: "It's unbelievable what it takes just to get this guy around town."

   Plus says Bauer, "I'm sure Bentley's use a little bit of gas no?"

Duff's sweet tooth

At the Sanctuary VMA gifiting hootenanny, Hilary Duff went nuts, not over the free carpet Swiffers, but over the Cold Stone Creamery being doled out to the very few, brave celebs who dared to indulge.

When offered to sample several flavors including the SInless San Fat Sweet cream version, the Duffster said "I'm not on a diet, I want the real stuff." Atta girl, Hil!

She had several flavors and her beau, Joel Madden of Good Charlotte, coudln't keep away, saying "I need more ice cream," and particularly dug the Cheescake Ice Cream, Over Overlaoad, and Cookie Dough.

So much for the days  of sex, drugs and rock and roll.

In case you were wondering

Although she has a brand new line of plus sized denim on the market, Jessica Simpson's Daisy Dukes are a size 25, according to our spies in one of the freeloading gifting lounges.

Jacob's ladder

Jacob Arabo, the man behind Hollywood's favorite bling, Jacob the Jeweler and Jacob and Co. isn't known for giving things away--to keep. Usually he lends the Paris Hiltons of the world, like, a zillion carats for the night, only to be returned later.

Jamie Foxx, however, is another story. When he arrived at Jacob's suite at the Ocean Drive Luxe Lounge, Jacob had a huge surprise for him.

He gave Foxx a diamond encrusted 6 time zone watch/pocket watch (10 carats total) as a congratulations for his Oscar win and a symbol of his admiration for the actor.

Only 10 carats? Foxx's performance in Ray was at least worth 20, don't  ya think?

Longoria's lingerie

Eva Longoria, who admitted to having a huge lingerie collection, said that she is "obsessed with Cosabella," the pricy panty line worn by most celebs.

She took home a huge new collection of Cosabella lingerie, including the Forever Lace molded bra and Forever Lace lowrider thong, which is seamless and perfect for under even the slinkiest clothes. 

And how 'bout that bathing suit, huh?

Vanity fare

We think Carly Simon was just prescient and wrote "You're So Vain" about Usher, who demonstrated that he's his biggest fan at his VMA after party at Prive last night.

Holding court in the DJ booth, Usher drank  Stoli Elit , the priciest new vodka on the market, and comandeered the microphone, requesting several of his own songs and rapping over his own music while watching his own videos playing on several plasma screens around the club. He arranged to have bottles of his favorite childhood drink, Dr. Pepper, on each table for his guests.

Besides the extraordinary sense of self love last night, LG phones was giving away freebies with six months of service. When Damon Wayon’s received his on the red carpet, he said “FREE SERVICE?” and pretended to call Nigeria, China and India, impersonating an accent from each. Funny.

R. Kelly: wtf?

Now, I don't deny the fact that I could just be out of touch and missing something but...what was up with Big R's VMAs performance?

Not only was the one-man song an extended and droning commentary on a confusing and almost comical love square (told you it was confusing...), but R's lackluster performance was made even worse by his shoddy lip-synching. Come on, R. It's your song. You know the words. At least pretend. Please?

Talkin' stars with Marlene

During a lull in pre-show activities, some of the seatfillers got to chatting with "Marlene" (real name protected for no real reason), one of the purple shirts left in charge of ushering us from line to line. Now, Marlene has done the show thing many a time, from events in L.A. to N.Y. to good ol' Miami. Here, in no specific order, are her thoughts on some of the big names:

Diddy: "Very down-to-earth and easy to talk to. Loves his boat."

Bruce Willis: "He has great skin. I've definitely spent more time working than he has. Got a cool personality, but not the kind you'd expect from seeing his movies."

J.Lo: "She never remembers my name, even though I see her all the time, but she's always very nice. Very real and approachable."

Pink: "She's very real. Never brings a big group around with her, it's usually just her and her boyfriend, with her dog F#$()%er. She calls him her 'Jack Russell Terrorist.' She just loves going on about that dog. She's just fun."

Earth-shattering revelations, yes.

Gwen, we hardly knew ya

After rumors swirled that the No Doubt lead singer was going to be AWOL from the show because she wasn't slated to perform, it was a surprise to many that Gwen made an appearance at all. Keeping it fairly low key, the platinum-haired diva slinked into her seat with only her buff bodyguard to keep her company, aside from a quick hug-n-kiss with a frazzled looking Lindsay "I could use a meal" Lohan.

But after playing second fiddle to American-Idol-turned-pop-rocker Kelly Clarkson in two major video categories, it was no shock when the usually bubbly Stefani made a dash for the limos well before the final curtain fell. Still, with bands like My Chemical Romance and Coldplay snoozin' it up on stage, you'd have to wonder why MTV didn't go for a heavy dose of Hollaback Girl.

Fat Joe hates 50 Cent

And vice versa, apparently.

The VMAs played host to the latest chapter of an ongoing feud between the two big-name rappers, with 50 Cent stealing the limelight from Fat Joe by prancing around and cavorting with the live audience while the hefty wordsmith introduced a collection of reggaeton acts. In response, Joe took a jab atG-Unit, 50's gaggle of guards, sarcastically praising them for providing him with security.

Seconds after the words left Joe's surprisingly-empty mouth, the G-Unit began to mobilize, with a battallion of "Mobb Deep" t-shirt-clad Cent troops heading backstage.

All seemed calm until 50 Cent fanned the flames again, during his own performance, where he sent a not-so-friendly "f-you" to Fat Joe's posse, the Terror Squad.

This was fallowed by a quick escape backstage. After a brief lull, a stream of police officers followed suit, creating a nervous buzz in the crowd. I thought hip-hop had gotten over the feud fad?