Baseling: it's a verb. Celebs & scenery from assorted #ArtBasel (and otherwise) parties.

What used to be just a few days has turned into a week of harried events that, for some, feels like a lifetime. What follows is a cursory recap of some of those very events that will be updated until the very end, like the band playing while the Titanic sank. 

For a complete (ish) list of the parties you are missing and can maybe even actually go to, click here

Monday December 1

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A private dinner at Morimoto at the Shelborne Wyndham Grand celebrated installations by artists Rachel Lee Hovnavian and Lola Montes. In addition to the aforementioned artists, Marina Abramović, whose muse may or may not be the vagina, was also there. Here she is pictured with one of the Shelborne's owners, Dayssi Kanavos

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Over in the Design District, Gucci and Spinello Projects hosted a private party for artist Kris Knight's solo exhibition, Smell the Magic. Among the notables seen there: Pictured, Knight with Anthony Spinello. Not pictured: Alia Al-Senussi, Art Basel VIP relations manager and princess whose father is a member of the royal Al-Senussi family, exiled from Libya in 1969, brewery scion Rebecca Guinness, restaurateur Michael Chow, and Miami-based collector and champion of the arts, The Fountainhead Residency's Dan Mikesell. Photo:Joe Schildhorn / Billy Farrell Agency.

Tuesday, December 2

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Artist Peter Tunney, Jessica Goldman, CEO of Goldman Properties and curator of Wynwood Walls, and Joe Jonas.IMG_0580

Though it technically wasn't really an Art Basel event, the New Now Next Awards at the Kimpton Surfcomber kept a lot of potential Baselites rapt in the rain, rocking with spectacular performances by Kristin Chenoweth and Jessie J, who stole the show and displayed decidedly non diva like behavior after singing her second song in the drizzle and being told afterwards that the whole thing was never recorded. As a result, she decided to get on the wet stage and sing Bang Bang just because she was worried her audience was getting impatient and too wet. Also in attendance: A very pretty Joe Jonas who, earlier was seen at Wynwood Walls, was the evening's "DJ," although we only saw him behind a turntable for a five minute photo shop, Lance Bass, Orange is the New Black's Danielle Brooks and Lorraine Toussaint, Betty Who, host and Glee star Darren Criss, Neon Trees frontman Tyler Glenn, RuPaul's Drag Race champ Bianca Del Rio and, a highlight for many in the audience, Nick Reilich, also known as Nick the Gardener from the Ellen show, sporting a Speedo and nothing else.  Lots of celebs didn't make it but were sure to give shout outs to Miami on video. Sam Smith said he hopes to come down here soon, in fact. For very amateur video of Jessie J, click here.  The show airs on Logo on December 7 and MTV on December 12. Photos below: Getty.

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  Paris Hilton and Swizz Beatz attend Kehinde Wiley + GREY GOOSE Portrait Preview

Over at LIV honcho David Grutman's Miami Beach house, a Grey Goose-sponsored cocktail party for artist Kehinde Wiley's Modern Kings of Culture. There, DJ Paris Hilton, heh, Swizz Beatz, who flew in just to check out Wiley's portrait of him but preferring others, saying "I wouldn't bid on mine, I'm not gonna lie." Also seen there: Michael Bay, The Nostradamus of Trend, and Mr. Brainwash. All proceeds from the celeb portraits go to each celeb's respective charities including the Swizz Beatz Bronx Charter School for the Arts. Photo: Rodrigo Varela. 

Swiss-based Galerie Gmurzynska hosted a private dinner in celebration of their 50th anniversary at Dolce Italian where Baz Luhrmann, wife Catherine Martin, Owen Wilson, Timbaland and P. Diddy were seen stuffing their faces before heading into the after party at Rec Room. 

 

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At Tommy Hilfiger's Miami home, a dinner in celebration of Dee Ocleppo Hilfiger's collaboration with artist Marc Quinn benefiting Autism Speaks.  Pictured: The Hilfigers; Elle Macpherson and art collector, photographer and philanthropist Jean Pigozzi

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At the hectic Maserati, Interview, DSquared, Performa event at the Thompson Miami Beach: Cars, Owen Wilson, Karolina Kurkova, Paris Hilton and dandy young socialite and son of supermodel Stephanie SeymourHarry Brant. 

And at WALL, an Art Basel fixture, Leonardo DiCaprio, admiring the female pieces of work and hanging with his homeys Tobey Maguire and Lukas Haas. Alex Rodriguez was also there "with not a care in the world, popping champagne with friends," while Lenny's daughter Zoe Kravitz was chatting up the pretty Jonas brother while David Arquette and a newly svelte rapper Rick Ross looked on. 

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Meanwhile at a private Louis Vuitton dinner, actress Michelle Williams was there in what NY Magazine called "a vision blurring shirt dress." It happened to be by LV. Also there: Kate Hudson and Miranda Kerr, also in LV.  Photos: BFA Agency

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Miami Heat's Dwyane Wade was doing the Basel balling Tuesday at a private party at the Ritz-Carlton Residences where he, Li-Ning and Alejandro Ingelmo unveiled their $325/pair sneakers, available exclusively at The Webster. Photo:Bob Metelus.

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Things were all abling at the Forevermark VIP Preview Reception at the Tuesday opening of the Institute of Contemporary Art Miami where DJ slash model Hannah Bronfman (Edgar Jr's daughter) spun.

Wednesday, December 3

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Performance art isn't sporting a Party City wig and a Borat uni-jock, like Miley Cyrus did at her appearance at the epically disastrous Jeffrey Deitch party at The Raleigh. The real art was what was happening outside, where thousands of eager adults---grown men and women--were clamoring to get into the party like passengers on the Titanic jumping into life boats. Out back, where the line snaked up, down and along 18th Street, there was Anthony Kennedy Shriver, Best Buddies bigwig and the uncle of Patrick Schwarzenegger, Ms. Cyrus's latest conquest, having a hard time getting into the mess. The young Schwarzenegger, dressed every so subtly, so preppy, was seen most of the time standing out front on a cell phone trying to guide his friends and family through the huddled masses like VIPs at Ellis Island circa the Great Immigration. Mr. Shriver couldn't get in the back, side or front entrances until his nephew came out to retrieve him. Shameful. Same goes for some others of the Kennedy/Shriver/Schwarzenegger clan, who probably never crowd surfed in Kennebunkport or anywhere else for that matter until last night. Even the party thrower, Mr. Deitch, diminutive and dapper in powder blue, had to swim through masses to get to the front to retrieve some heavy hitters including the man that runs the Andy Warhol Museum in Pittsburgh. Were Andy alive to witness this circus like calamity, he'd have sat outside, as we did, with the more colorful invitees, including drag divas Elaine Lancaster and Lady Bunny, invited by the wife of The Raleigh's owner, Tommy Hilfiger, but left out in the cold like last night's trash. Disgraceful, yes, but fabulously colorful too. One man described the scene as an embarassing sign of the apocalypse remniscent of the Beatles at Shea Stadium, only minus the Beatles and minus their grandiosity. At the end of the night, Cyrus wailed out a few tunes---Rick James's Super Freak and The Turtles' Happy Together--sounding like a feral cat imitating Yoko Ono. It was bad. Really bad. And at the time of this writing, the Schwarzenegger/Shrivers were said to be filing a Baker Act on their son. The rest of the crowd may or may not have made it out ok, but at the end of the night, they got to see a monumental show signaling the demise of civilization as we once knew it. 

Following that debacle, Cyrus, trying so desperately to prove she's racy, stopped by Miami's favorite 24 hour strip club, E11even, sporting a silver wig and black lace bra, arriving with clean cut boyfriend Schwarzenegger. Cyrus hopped on stage with the club's Jacko impersonator and screeched out her rendition of Billie Jean while grinding against the club's half naked dancers. Also spotted there at the table of club owner Dennis DeGori was Leo DiCaprio with artists Mr. Brainwash and Alec Monopoly, all gawking at the festive, seasonal Stripper Santa. Good times, Art Basel.  

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Earlier in the evening, the antithesis of the aforementioned mess, in the form of a party and "interactive dinner" (a fancy term for buffet) hosted by Roger Dubuis, Dom Pérignon and Stephanie Seymour at the ravishing Thompson Miami Beach in celebration of The Art of Haute Horlogerie. As the champagne flowed, a calm, collected, civilized crowd waited eagerly for the hostess, former supermodel Seymour to arrive. And she did, albeit a bit late, allegedly cranky after fighting with someone who we're told definitey wasn't her mogul husband Peter Brant, whom we did not see. Cranky must be the new Botox, because Seymour, 46, was stunning, shining and spectacular. Just like the event itself. 

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Another successful affair was the one held at The Dutch for IWC Schaffhausen's Timeless Portofino gala, featuring a slew of celebs not sporting jock straps. Among them, Emily Blunt, Karolina Kurkova, James Mardsen, Adriana Lima, Sammy Sosa, Jason Alexander, David Arquette and Martina Navratilova. Solange Knowles performed a little elevator music--just kidding--she sang Losing You and there was no visible drama when she boogied down to a DJ spun tune by her sister--you may have heard of her--Beyonce.

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Solange 
was also spotted at the Design District opening of luxe German luggage store RIMOWA, where Eva Longoria, Karolina Kurkova and more mingled with suitcases. Nearby, Kate Hudson, hanging with Elaine Lancaster at the Chrome Hearts boutique party. 

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More civility, this time at the Moore Building for the Artsy Dance Party featuring artist Shen Wei on the opening of his exhibition. Among those seen there: Ivanka Trump. Theophilus London performed. Photo/BFA: Ben Rosser. 

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hosted his own dinner, thos one at the Delano's Bianca with artist Daniel Arsham and Alex Mustonen of Snarkitecture. There, Usher did shots of tequila before heading down to the LeBaron action in FDR. The singer was also seen at the opening of ArtHaus, a luxe VIP lounge venue for "select patrons of the Tim Goosens curated Select Art Fair," and at the convention center where he was seen partaking in some performance art involving a cell phone and female genitalia. Oh, art. Photo: BFA

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Boy band brother turned DJ Joe Jonas was at the Surf Lodge at the Deauville for the Galore Magazine party where he managed to get through some technical difficulties to spin for the crowd. Photo: Patrick McMullan

And while there were all sorts of socialites at Paul Kasmin Gallery’s PK SHOP light show themed collaborative pop-up shop with Maison de Mode at the Soho Beach House, nobody did or said it better than artist Deborah Kass:

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Photo: Patrick McMullan

Thursday, December 4

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As we told you, Barbie did make her Art Basel debut Thursday night at the Thompson Miami Beach for the Jeremy Scott and Moschino party celebrating their Barbie inspired collection. There, Miley Cyrus was seen sipping Belvedere cocktails alongside Flaming Lips frontman Wayne Coyne and rapper A$AP Rocky discussing their Art Basel plans to the tune of a soundtrack spun by none other than DJ Paris Hilton. 

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At the Soho Beach House for the 5th Annual Bombay Sapphire Artisan Series Finale with Russell and Danny Simmons' Rush Philanthropic Arts Foundation, Miguel performed live and was seen hitting on Simmons's niece Angela, asking for her number and suggesting they hang out later in the night. Supermodel Nina Agdal was overheard walking up to the bar admitting that gin makes her do "wild things," starting the night with a champagne and gin cocktail with boyfriend Reid Heidenry. Also seen in the mix: actress Rosario Dawson and Lance Bass. Photo: Getty.

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Roger Vivier held a swanky luncheon Thursday at the new EDITION hosted by model/designer/socialite Ines de la Fressange and Vivier's main sole man Bruno Frisoni to celebrate Ambra Medda, founder of online design marketplace L'ArcoBaleno, and the limited edition Miss Viv' L'ArcoBaleno handbag. Seen there were a slew of well heeled socialites and actress Frieda Pinto. Photo:Joe Schildhorn/BFA

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From classy to trashy, Paper magazine and Svedka Vodka threw a party for Kim Kardashian's buttocks on the 7th floor of the Lincoln Road parking garage. There, the newly ubiquitous Joe Jonas, Darren Criss and Scout Willis joined a bunch of sycophants as Kanye West's "creative director" Virgil Abloh spun. Photo/Seth Browarnik.

But really, Kim who? During that spectacle, a sneaky Robert Pattinson sneaked into town to see his girlfriend FKA Twigs perform at the YoungArts III Points party. Pattinson stayed backstage and watched her entire show, hugging and kissing her when she was done. Says our spy, "They were super sweet together." Solange Knowles was also in the house, dancing to the music.

At the Canvas Condos party in the Miami Arts & Entertainment District, Entourage's Adrian Grenier turned a cooler into a drum set for his fave bad The Skins, when they realized their own skins were missing. The musical MacGyver was seen cheering the band along from the front row as they rocked the chic arty crowd.

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Early in the morning, around 1 a.m., DiCaprio returned to his fave haunting grounds at Wall, where Alex Dellal, Stavros Niarchos and Vito Schnabel (with Heidi Klum, seen with Schnabel also at the Drawing Room earlier in the night) threw an after party for the A+ list Dutch dinner earlier hosted by Aby Rosen and wife Samantha Boardman where the likes of Bethenny Frankel (in town filming some Housewives nonsense),Vera WangWiz Khalifa shared air with Baz Luhrmann in a scene that was sort of reminiscent of one of his trippy flicks. Photos: Seth Browarnik.

After stopping by the David Arquette's Bootsy Bellows--drink!--pop-up at the Shore Club and the 10AK/Up&Down--drink!--Pop Up at Rec Room, Cyrus went to her new favorite Miami spot, swank strip club E11EVEN. There, Cyrus, clad in a neon pink and green fishnet Moschino outfit, and boyfriend Schwarzenegger, was seen making out with Paris Hilton. The threesome left, "helping each other out," around 5:30 a.m. 

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, Scout Willis and Solange Knowles were all seen at the Out of Order Party at the Deauville Beach Resort's Surf Lounge--drink!--pop up. Knowles arrived at 12:30 through the back door, spinning a set of old school hip hop and tunes by her brother in law, Jay Z. Photo: BFA

Friday, December 5

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The Audemars Piguet & Peabody Essex Museum Party for Strandbeest Friday night near the W South Beach was spectacular on so many levels, among them, Dutch artist Theo Jansen's PVC version of Jurassic Park. There to witness this fantastic fusion of art and engineering were Jennifer Aniston's fiance, actor Justin Theroux, who wasn't saying much but was seen talking to Adrian Grenier and actress Freida Pinto, who told us that, on her first visit to Miami she thinks it's the kind of city that has to grow on you, but she would definitely be back for vacation. She also told us that she believes it is entirely possible for celebrities to have anonymity in Miami as long as they don't go instagramming their every move and body part. Amen to that. Also seen at the party, Serena Williams. 

Later at the Delano, for Snarkitecture and Alchemist's collaboration AIRBALL, Grenier seen mingling with "girl friends" and Robert Pattinson, cozying up in a cabana with galpal FKA Twigs. Theophilus London gave, says our spy, "an epic performance," while rappers A$AP Rocky, Wiz Khalifa and 2 Chainz were seen in the DJ booth. 

At the Surf Lodge--drink!--pop up at the Deauville Beach resort, actress Chloe Sevigny, hanging out at her brother's--drink!--pop up, Paul's Baby Grand. The always low keyed Sevigny, sporting a baby blue pants suit, spent most of the night, surprisingly, on stage.

Leonardo DiCaprio reemerged, this time at the 10AK/Up&Down--drink!--pop-up at the Rec Room with "his usual entourage of friends and models." DiCaprio was with girlfriend du jour, Victoria's Secret model Toni Garn. Dressed in a flannel button down, jeans and a newsboy cap DiCaprio ordered several raounds of shots for his table, keeping his pals entertained by dancing and rapping to the music. 

Nearby at the Shore Club, Miley Cyrus, busy making her rounds, first at Nobu and then David Arquette's Bootsy Bellows--drink!--pop up. More on her later.

The Mondrian saw Russell Simmons and a "smoking hot female friend," earlier in the afternoon. 

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Eventually many of the aforementioned ended up at the uber exclusive Haute Living, Dom Perignon and Hublot party for the debut of an exclusive exhibition by Mr. Brainwash with Eva Longoria at the waterfront estate of Loren and JR Ridinger. The scene outside was a tempered, controlled chaos where door monitors armed with iPads were busy turning down aspiring party crashers and their guests, crushing their dreams of mingling with the likes of Swizz Beatz, Serena Williams, and, cutting to the chase, the ubiquitous Cyrus and her unassuming boyfriend, the young Schwarzenegger. We may have also seen Schwarzenegger's uncle Anthony Kennedy Shriver with his best bud, Mayor Philip Levine and a man who looked like security detail, though we're not sure for whom he was working. Following that, Cyrus and Schwarz ended up at E11even Miami for the third night in a row where she was told they had no available openings. Oh well, to our dismay we guess she'll just have to keep her day job. 

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The Official VH1 + Scope Party at Mansion Friday featured a performance by Danish singer songwriter NABIHA and Swizz Beatz. There was also art, 2Chainz, and a Jonas Brother.

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Photo: Seth Browarnik/World Redeye

Rocking a low cut navy blue dress, a huge diamond her grandmother gave her and black leather gloves, Paris Hilton showed up Friday at Wall and started spinning a mix of hits and DJ collaborations around 1 a.m. Before you laugh, we're told that people spent between $7,000 and $10,000 a table to watch this spectacle. Sister Nicky Hilton, however, got in for for free.  
 
Saturday, December 6

Jason Hardi, founder and CEO of muzik, the techno-cool new 'smart' headphones, threw a big party on Palm Island Saturday featuring headliner and partner Drake, who hit the decks around 10:30. 

December 04, 2014

Miley Cyrus wore a Borat uni-jock at #ArtBasel

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Performance art isn't sporting a Party City wig and a Borat uni-jock, like Miley Cyrus did at her appearance at the epically disastrous Jeffrey Deitch party at The Raleigh. The real art was what was happening outside, where thousands of eager adults---grown men and women--were clamoring to get into the party like passengers on the Titanic jumping into life boats. Out back, where the line snaked up, down and along 18th Street, there was Anthony Kennedy Shriver, Best Buddies bigwig and the uncle of Patrick Schwarzenegger, Ms. Cyrus's latest conquest, having a hard time getting into the mess. The young Schwarzenegger, dressed every so subtly, so preppy, was seen most of the time standing out front on a cell phone trying to guide his friends and family through the huddled masses like VIPs at Ellis Island circa the Great Immigration. Mr. Shriver couldn't get in the back, side or front entrances until his nephew came out to retrieve him. Shameful. Same goes for some others of the Kennedy/Shriver/Schwarzenegger clan, who probably never crowd surfed in Kennebunkport or anywhere else for that matter until last night. Even the party thrower, Mr. Deitch, diminutive and dapper in powder blue, had to swim through masses to get to the front to retrieve some heavy hitters including the man that runs the Andy Warhol Museum in Pittsburgh. Were Andy alive to witness this circus like calamity, he'd have sat outside, as we did, with the more colorful invitees, including drag divas Elaine Lancaster and Lady Bunny, invited by the wife of The Raleigh's owner, Tommy Hilfiger, but left out in the cold like last night's trash. Disgraceful, yes, but fabulously colorful too. One man described the scene as an embarrassing sign of the apocalypse reminiscent of the Beatles at Shea Stadium, only minus the Beatles and minus their grandiosity. At the end of the night, Cyrus wailed out a few tunes---Rick James's Super Freak and The Turtles' Happy Together--sounding like a feral cat imitating Yoko Ono. It was bad. Really bad. And at the time of this writing, the Schwarzenegger/Shrivers were said to be filing a Baker Act on their son. The rest of the crowd may or may not have made it out ok, but at the end of the night, they got to see a monumental show signaling the demise of civilization as we once knew it. 

Following that debacle, Cyrus, trying so desperately to prove she's racy, stopped by Miami's favorite 24 hour strip club, E11even, sporting a silver wig and black lace bra, arriving with clean cut boyfriend Schwarzenegger. Cyrus hopped on stage with the club's Jacko impersonator and screeched out her rendition of Billie Jean while grinding against the club's half naked dancers. Also spotted there at the table of club owner Dennis DeGori was Leo DiCaprio with artists Mr. Brainwash and Alec Monopoly, all gawking at the festive, seasonal Stripper Santa. Good times, Art Basel.  

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November 25, 2014

Art Basel ad nauseam: THE list of parties & events you can & can't get into #ABMB

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Blah blah blah Basel. VIP, by invitation only, exclusive, A+++++ list, royalty, and private. So many adjectives, so little art--er, time. Don't hold your breaths for that unattainable call to attend the super secret soiree starring SNL alum Stefon at the Walgreens on the corner of happy and healthy. It's just not coming. But what is, is a barrage of the bold faced and the beautiful. A motley mix of important people, semi important people and those solely important in their own minds, the ones who seem to think their presence is necessary everywhere when, in fact, that notion is as genuine as a Basquiat counterfeit. Even Barbie's coming.

Then again, an art world insider admonishes us, telling us it's not about the celebs at all, saying "Art Basel is a snore for the E! network. It's more for The Wall Street Journal crowd. The real story is that in the last 2 weeks, the auctions in NY have processed over $2 billion in sales. Miami should be a bit of a money orgy again this year." Did someone say orgy?

Whatever the case and without further adieu, the following is our annual, ridiculous list of Art Basel (December 4-7) events, official, inspired, corporatized and otherwise. Some you can go to, most you can not. Brace yourselves. Artful partying. It's what's for dinner or at least heavily-sponsored cocktails. And speaking of cocktails, do a shot every time you hear the word "pop-up."

Monday, December 1

The New York Times International Luxury conference at the Mandarin Oriental, Miamifrom December 1 through 3 has just confirmed its speaker lineup and it's a label whore's and name dropper's come true. On the roster: design entrepreneur Iris Apfel, Audemars Piguet CEO Francois-Henry Bennahmias, Tod's CEO Diego Della Valle, creative director of Eco Age, Ltd. and actor Colin's wife Livia Firth, NYT fashion director Vanessa Friedman, designer Diane von Furstenberg, Gucci creative director Frida Giannini, T Magazine editor-in-chief Deborah Needleman, Amazon VP Dr. Babak Parviz, Zegna head of design Stefano Pilati, Kering CEO and chairman Francois-Henri Pinault and more.  For more information on the conference, go to http://www.inytluxury.com/video-what-to-expect.aspx. Opening night gala takes place at the Perez Art Museum, but you may also want to keep your eyes peeled for any of the aforementioned milling around Art Basel. 

Avant Gallery at the Epic: As a prelude to Miami's Art Basel, Avant Gallery's NYC outpost was visited by the likes of Swizz Beats and Bruno Mars. Avant, which just opened its new location downtown at the Epic, is having a private opening with actor Jordi Molla (Blow, Bad Boys II), who we hear is a majorly talented artist praised by Julian Schnabel and collected by friend and co-star Johnny Depp, who received several paintings at, we're told, a "friendly discount."  On December 6, the gallery is also unveiling galaxy themed diamond dust paintings by Gold Man, better known in Miami as Joey Goldman, the scion of hte late and legendary Tony. As part of this show, 14 year old artist prodigy Skyler Grey will unveil his new work inspired by Hermes. That's a precocious and very fashionable teenager. 

Morimoto Art Basel Dinner: Private, private, private in celebration of The Shelborne Wyndham Grand's Poor Teddy MB exhibition, Rachel Lee Hovnavian's installation of 300 teddy bears (!) and Lola Montes' series of paintings exploring Heaven, which for some this week, is just an elusive dream. 

Shifting the Paradigm: Opening night MOCA VIP reception for artist George Edozie's "Shifting the Paradigm" will feature Nigerian royalty, Igwe Nnayelugo Alfred Nnaemeka Achebe, better known as the Obi of Onitsha. Royal pedigree required. 

Preview of Kris Knight's Exhibition, Smell The Magic: Hosted by Gucci creative director Frida Giannini, the exclusive, invite only preview of Canadian painter Kris Knight's latest takes place at Spinello Projects from 5 p.m. to 8 p.m. 

MIAMI Magazine's Art & Power Issue Party: Private Design District cocktail kicking off the week of power people and power trips featuring the unveiling of David Lebo's latest collection. 

Michelle Bernstein's Pop-Up Restaurants at the Miami Beach Botanical Garden: Bernstein is offering two dining situations, one fancier than the other. That one, Michy's Pop Up, will feature "a  diverse selection of light and appetizing tapas, starters, plats de resistance and desserts." Reservations are a must and this will be serving only from Wednesday December 3 through Saturday Deember 6 from 6pm to 11pm in the garden's Banyan Room. Then there's the more casual Garden Cafe, open Monday December 1-Sunday December 7 for lunch. No reservations required. Could be a good place to spot important people. http://michyspopup.com. 

La Force de Femmes au Naturel at the Mayfair Hotel: Benefiting The Sabrina Cohen Foundation, this exhibition featuring portraits by artist Henry Perez features "fifty of Florida's fabulous females without any retouching or Photoshop." Egads! This one is open to the public and for a good cause, so just go.  7 p.m. to 9 p.m. RSVP is a must to art@conroymartinez.com or 305-445-7550.

Gobal Fine Arts Awards Live Ceremony: A public event announcing awards winners from 5 p.m. to 8 p.m. at Villa Azur. Reservations@villaazurmiami.com

Conrad Miami Salutes the Cultural Champions of Miami: A private kick-off luncheon at Atrio features an impressive guest list of people who brought art to Miami before it was cool to do so. 

The Unveiling of L'Atelier Residences: What better week than this one to debut brand new zillion dollar condoes lik ethis one designed by Holly Hunt? A private party at Hunt's Design District outpust will reveal the plans and potential buyers. Proof of residency in the 1% is required. Otherwise, skedaddle. 

Tuesday, December 2

Get-attachmentFree Warhol Inspired Drinks for Christie's Warhol exibition ticket holders: Those who visit the Andy Warhol at Christie's exhibition on the 5th floor of the JW Marriott Marquis Miami from December 2 through 4 can bring their ticket to db Bistro Moderne for a free warhol inspired cocktail such as the Pop Art, red wine, Coke, and lime juice served in a Campbell's soup can. Factoid:Daniel Boulud cooked for Warhol back in the 80s. 

The Shoe, Featuring The Hunger Games Actress Jenna Malone, Performing at The Thompson: The Shoe, a two-artist band featuring actress Jena Malone and Lem Jay Ignacio, will give two--drink!--pop-up performances at the Thompson Miami Beach Hotel. No Hunger Games-esque antics needed to get in. Performances are public and tajing place at 6 p.m. in the Seagrape Lounge and at 9:30 p.m. in the Crown Room. 

Interview Magazine & DSquared2 Host Performa's 10th Anniversary: Maserati is also involved int his swanky soiree at the spanking new Thompson Miami Beach from 10 p.m. to 1 a.m. Performa is the leading organization decdicated to exploring the critical role of live performance in the history of 20th century art so you better believe there's going to be a great show at this one. Private. 

ksubi--drink!--Pop-Up Shop and Parties: Australia's renegade anti-fashion denim line is emerging at Art Basel with a shop at the Vintro Hotel from Tuesday through Sunday where, on Thursday, rappers ASAP Ferg and ASAP Nast will be shopping there, but don't tell anyone we told you. Also on Thursday, a ksubi party at The Electric Pickle, 10:30 p.m. featuring a performance by the aforementioned ASAP Nast. 

Discobox at Basement: Discobox, the lounge in the basement at Miami Beach's new EDITION hotel, 2901 Collins Ave., has a lineup including DJ Harvey on Tuesday, Horsemeat Disco on Wednesday, James Murphy and Soul Clap on Thursday, a special disco set by Lee Foss on Friday and Louie Vega on Saturday. Doors open at 11 every night. Entry will be predictably choosy. 

Grey Goose Celebrates Modern Kings of Culture: At a private South Beach residence, artist Kehinde Wiley will unveil his portraits of, among others, Spike Lee, Swizz Beatz & Carmelo Anthony

Wynwood Walls 2014 The Art of Collaboration: A private VIP party precedes the 9 p.m. public opening of the exhibition featuring works by Swoon, Cleon Peterson & Shepard Fairey, Pose & Revok, Haas & Hahn, Daleast & Cryptik, and Faith 47 & Alexis Diaz, Case and Kenny Scharf.

Dwyane Wade, Li-Ning & Alejandro Igelmo at Ritz-Carlton Residences: Renaissance man D. Wade has collaborated with shoe designer Alejandro Ingelmo and Chinese sporting goods brand Li Ning to debut the Way of the Wade Third Element Collection, available exclusively and in limited quantities starting December 3 at The Webster for $325 per pair and previewing at a private party on December 2 at the Ritz-Carton Residences on Miami Beach. 

Louis Vuitton Playing With Shapes: Pierre Paulin's never released circa 1972 "modular furniture design" will preview to private Design Miami audiences in the Design District. 

i feel ya: SCAD + André 3000 Benjamin Opening Reception: A private 7 p.m. opening party for The Savannah College of Art and Design's exhibition at Mana Miami, 318 NW 23rd St., exploring fashion, film and painting through the work of uber celebrity, artist, musician, performer, etc, etc. André 3000 Benjamin (formerly just André 3000, but taking a page from the playbook of the likes of Rick, not Ricky, Schroder). 3000--er, Benjamin will also be on hand for a panel discussion 3 p.m. Wednesday afternoon. 

Logo TV's New Now Next Awards Live from Kimpton Surfcomber: Ok, so this really has absolutely nothing to do with Art Basel other than piggybacking off the timing and the good weather, but still. This could mean that some real celebs may be passing through town because the show is taking place live from the Kimpton Surfcomber at 8 p.m.  Performing live: Jessie J and Betty Who,  while Joe Jonas will do duties as the celebrity DJ. Also expected physically in town: A Great Big World, actor/comedian/drag queen Bianca Del Rio,  Frankie Alvarez (HBO's Looking), comedian Hannah Hart, Lance Bass, Orange is the New Black's Lorraine Toussaint and Danielle Brooks, Michael J. Willett (MTV's Faking It), comic Nicole Byer, Raul Castillo (HBO's Looking), Neon Trees' Tyler Glenn and LGBT youth advocate and YouTube personality Tyler Oakley. Not at all open to the public but now you know where to go stalk a Jonas brother. 

The Teepee Project Opening Party: Taking place poolside at the Mondrian, this party celebrates the inaugural exhibition of historic teepee paintings by Jen Stark and Misaki Kuwai. teepeeproject@mhgc.com 

Le Baron 10 Year Anniversary: The posh Parisian party returns to FDR at the Delano for its 10 year anniversary now through Sunday, December 7. And unless you can ID yourself as the real Banksy, you aren't getting in, though Le Baron has not be so impervious to vile party crashers in the past so who knows, but bonne chance

Cecconi's 4 to 7 Happy Hour: "The epicenter of artists, celebs and art lovers," Cecconi's new happy hour is no longer limited to the bar area and features $4 to $7 menu items Tues-Sat from, yep, 4 p.m. to 7 p.m. A good place to spot important folks and those who love them. 

Forevermark Diamonds' VIP preview reception for the opening of ICA Miami: Private party featuring lots of real bling and a preview of the Institute of Contemporary Art, 4040 NE 2nd Ave., whose grand opening, also private, follows.  

Morgans Hotel Group & Munchies present : Dinner Party: A special guest chef will cook for a private group hosted by Daniel Arsham, Misaki Kawai, Alex Mustonen, Jen Stark, Baron Von Shante, Doreen Remen and Light Box

Miami Ad School--drink--Pop-Up Lounge: Said to be for press (and hopefully not the editors in chief of condo newsletters and assorted fraudulent blogs) and "VIPs" only, the newly relocated to Wynwood Miami Ad School has teamed with 221 Cafe, Lulu's Nitrogen Ice Cream, Lemon City Tea Company, and more to offer the beleaguered boldfacers free swag, massages, sustenance, Whispering Angel rosé and more. 

Wednesday, December 3

Miley Cyrus at The Raleigh: New Raleigh owner Tommy Hilfiger, gallerist Jeffrey Deitch and V Magazine tapped Miley Cyrus to perform at the big Art Basel opening night party. A far cry from Beth Ditto and The Gossip, but we're sure Cyrus and her tongue will make for a spectacular spectacle. No way are you getting in. 

The Surf Lodge at Deauville: A pop-up (shots!) of Montauk's beachy keen Surf Lodge emerges at the Deauville during NADA with private dinners hosted by the likes of photographer Francesco Carrozzini and actress Chloe Sevigny, poolside tiki cocktails with a roster of indie bands like St Lucia, The Kin, and G Love, a special performance by newlywed Solange Knowles on Thursday, and late nights hosted by Paul Sevigny with a spate of buzzy DJ's like Chelsea Leyland, Mia Moretti, and Alexandra Richards. On Sunday, they will close out the weekend with the hot Sunday party hosted by GoldBar's Jonny Lennon. Dinners are private, daytime pool and band activities are open to the public and late nights are "selective." Good luck. 

Bootsy Bellows Hotel at the Shore Club: David Arquette's vaudevillian LA night club takes up temporary residency Wednesday through Sunday at the Shore Club featuring, among othe rthings, DJ Danny Stern, Paul Oakenfold, Jesse Jo Stark, a Louis Carreon art show and a closing pool party. Private. 

ArtHaus Vernissage: the Mercedes-AMG and Lufthansa First Class-sponsored party featuring Pointy Snout-sponsored caviar and Moet Hennessy-sponsored cocktails at 72nd and Collins will feature an appearance by Usher and a performance by hip hopper Vic Mensa.  Private. 

Lauren Moshi Gallery Event: From 6 p.m. to 10 p.m. at the Lou La Vie "Gallery," artist turned thsirt designer debuts her newest line of t-shirts called, appropriately, Emptiness. Private. 

Esteban del Valle and Won Kim Live at Oolite: Brooklyn-based del Valle, whose Martyrs of Street Art garnered some major attention, and Chicago-based Kim, a chef and artist, will be at Oolite at 6 p.m. 

Art Africa Miami Arts Fair: Free admission from December 3-7 at 801 NW 3rd Ave. December 3 opening from 7 p.m. to 10 p.m. follows the opening night of Soul Basel Overtown: A Celebration of Art, Music and Culture in Colored Town that will showcase the works of the late Overtown artist Purvis Young at the Lyric Theatre. The AAMAF gallery opens daily from 11am-7pm.  

Sanctuary at Casa Elyx: A private penthouse hideaway for invitees only at the EDITION hotel featuring, among other things a showase of Cidade Matarazzo, considered South America's most groundbreaking art event of the year. 

Beck's Access at Miami Art Week: From December 3-6 Beck's brand new independent music program jumps on the Basel bandwagon with events held all over town from The Electric Pickle, Bardot, Grand Central and Treehouse. In addition to the III Points/YoungArts shows listed below for December 4, artists participating include A$AP Ferg, Pete Tong, Soul Clap and Wolf +Lamb, Dixon, Less Foss, Bob Moses, and more. For specifics, go to www.becksaccess.com

Canvas and Canere: An Evolution of Street Culture: Street artists Louis Carreon, Angela China and David Lavernia along with musicians Brendan O’Hara and the Rescue, Angela Laino and Artoficial to "transform the Gale Hotel into a living expression of art and music."  This one is open to the public.

Diane von Furstenberg at Aventura Mall: The legendary desginer DVF will make an appearance at her new boutique in the small city known as Aventura Mall from 7 p.m. to 8 p.m. December 3 in celebration of the launch of her new book, "The Woman I Wanted to Be," which could very well be the title of many an Aventura shoppers' autobios as well. There will be champagne, hors d'oeuvres and book signing. Open to the public with RSVP to j.caracciola@dvf.com.

Trochut's Binary Prints: Spanish artist Alex Trochut has designed cover art for Katy Perry and The Rolling Stones but from 6 p.m. to  10 p.m. December 3, Trochut's Binary Prints collection of optical art is closed for an invitation only party. That being said, his stuff will be on view at the SPECTRUM Miami Art Show, 2011 NE 1st Ave. from 1 p.m. to 9 p.m. 

Stellar International Art Foundation and NetJets Present MF Husain: Private event showcasing the work of the late Indian artist at Villa Azur.

Eva Longoria and Dieter Morszeck Celebrate RIMOWA's 1st Miami Store: In celebration of the German luggage store's first Miami outpost, they commissioned artist Neville Wakefield to create a limited edition "installation" of suitcases. And when you hear suitcases, you immediately think of Eva Longoria, who will be at the private opening on NE 40th St. sometime between 7 p.m. and 10 p.m. Also expected: Solange Knowles, who also makes you think of luggage. Or at least baggage.

Roger Dubuis & Stephanie Seymour Celebrate the Art of Haute Horlogerie: As much as you want to think Horlogerie has something to do with the study of a certain type of liberal man or woman, it actually means watchmaking, which makes sense because Roger Dubuis is a watchmaker. Seymour is a former supermodel married to art collector slash mogul Peter Brant. They know how to roll. Dom Perignon will also host the aforementioned at a private dinner in a private bungalow at a recently opened hotel that may or may not rhyme with Thompson. This is a good one and one you won't get even close to unless you can spell horlogerie in ten different languages. 

UOVOxNEWD presents New & Site-Specific Projects from SIGNAL and metro pcs: Private party at Freehand Miami.

Art For Life Art Auction: Hosted by Russell and Danny Simmons, the board of directors of Simmons' Rush Philanthropic Arts Foundation and Sun Capital Partners co-CEO Marc J. Leder, this one taking place at a private South Beach residence is for the bona fide, true blue art collectors with auctioneers Simon de Pury and Sara Friedlander offering up works by Sante D'Orazio, Shepard Fairey, His Royal Highness The Prince of Wales--yep, that's Wills to the rest of us--Mr. Brainwash, Rashid Johnson, Carrie Mae Weems, Derrick Adams, Renee Cox, Shinique Smith, Rashaad Newsome, Kehinde Wiley and Dustin Yellin. Private, private, private. 

Chrome Hearts Miami--wait for it--Pop-Up Shop Launch: Fashion, art, yadda, yadda, yadda from 7:30 p.m. at 4025 NE 2nd Ave featuring a live performance by Zoe Kravitz which could mean an appearance by her proud dad Lenny and or mom Lisa. Private. 

Art Basel Crowdfunding Meet & Greet: Back in September, Art Basel launched its Crowdfunding Inititative in conjunction with Kickstarter and lo and behold, a whiping $170k was raised via 935 backers to benefit non profit visual arts organizations. That may not be enough to buy some newsworthy piece of work, but it's still impressive. From 3 p.m. to 5 p.m. Wednesday through Sunday you can meet the teams who started all this at the Garden Oasis in the Miami Beach Botanical Garden. Maybe you'll get some insider tips on art. Or something. 

Snarkitecture Private Dinner: Developed by Daniel Arsham and Alex Mustonen, Snarkitecture searches "for sites within architecture with the possibility for confusion or misuse, [aiming] to make architecture perform the unexpected." More expected than the performance of architecture are the hosts for the private dinner at the Delano, where Snarkitecture is exhibited through December 14 (that is open to the public!): the aformentioned Arsham, Mustonen and, er, um, Usher. Yep. Or, rather, yeah, yeah, yeah, Usher. 

IWC Schaffhausen's A Portofino Affair Exhibit Launch, Dinner & After Party Starring: Emily Blunt, Karolina Kurkova, Adriana Lima and, randomly, Miami Heat player Ray Allen: Don't even think about trying to crash this one at The W South Beach, though you may catch the stahhhs sashaying on the red carpet around, say, 7:30pm or 9:30pm. The exhibit, incidentally, shot by famed fotog Peter Lindberg, features the aforementioned (minus Allen) plus (not expected to appear) Christoph Waltz, Cate Blanchett, Ewan McGregor and more sporting IWC's newly launched Portofino Midsize Collection watches. Yep, watches. Keyword #corporatization, remember? But they are pieces of work. Just like the dinner guests at this affair and apres party. Excellent people watching is promised if you can get near.

Paul Kasmin Gallery's PK Shop opening/Maison de Mode's MdM collaborative light show themed pop-up installation #LIGHTSHOP: A private 'cocktail' celebrating the aforementioned takes place from 3pm to 5pm at Soho Beach House that will eventually be opened to everyone else who has access to Soho from 11am to 6pm December 4-7. Artists involved include Mattia Bonetti, Saint Clair Cemin, FriendsWithYou, Marcia Grostein, Deborah Kass, Claude LalanneElle MuliarchykIvan NavarroCourtney Smith, Jen Stark, among others. 

Queen of the Night: One of NYC's biggest performance art events will make its debut outside of Gotham at 10 p.m. at the  Miami Beach Theater in the form of Celebrating Women In Art: CREATIVE ROYALTY, bringing together "top names in music, art, fashion and film." In addition to an interactive performance fusing dance, cuisine, circus theater and nightlife into a wholly immersive experience," the party continues afterwards with "specially curated nightlife" by Grammy and Emmy Award winning artist Nicole Erlich along with  NYC nightclub Up&Down. Among the performances: Millie Brown's Suspended by Optimism, where the artist will suspend herself from a fleet of helium balloons, Natalie White's Girl in a Box and DJs by top femake artists and "top secret performances." The feminine mystique indeed. This trippy event benefits the Brooklyn Museum's Elizabeth A Sackler Center for Feminist Art and School of Doodle and is open to the public via tickets at https://womeninart.ticketsocket.com/.

Bally's Triangle Walks--Installation by KOLKOZ Opening Party: We have no clue either, but it's at the Delano Beach Club and it's private. 

Natale Sulla Luna: A Lunar Christmas by Simon Carpentier at E11Even Miami: The composer responsible for Cirque du Soleil productions such as Zumanity is previewing his latest at Miami's racy E11even Miami from 11pm to 5am December 3-5. Not only will the show be something to see, so will the crowd. Keep an eye on this one. 

Alexo Wandael ITALIANY in collaboration with Peroni Nastro Azzurro: A private opening reception at The James Royal Palm will feature a who's who of local and not so locals whose portraits make up this collection of "key Italian influencers in Miami and the significant impact of Italian style and heritage on American culture." 

Galleria Ca' d'Oro and Primopiano TV honor photographer/director Fabrizio Cestari: More Italianates, this time at The Standard Spa, where Cestari, who has photographed the likes of Al Pacino, Dustin Hoffman, Spike Lee and Willem Dafoe, will be honored with a sit down dinner (dress code: "artistic chic") to which you are not invited and to which none of the aforementioned subjects are expected. 

Consign of the Times Art Basel (drink!) Pop Up Shop: Kicking off at 11 p.m. (until 9 p.m.) at 135 NE 40th St., this swanky second hand scene saw the likes of Vogue's European editor-at-large Hamish Bowles and designer Joseph Altuzarra. It's also the perfect place to pick up anything from an exotic Birkin bag to some special Chanel and Valentino threads kept under lock and key all year only to be unleashed during this crazy, crazy, flush funded crowd surge. Open to the public through Saturday, December 6. 

gastroPod 2.0: In celebration of its fifth year, the OG of Miami food trucks is going big and trendsetting, morphing into a grounded Wynwood shipping container just in time for the rabid, hungry Art Basel crowd. As we told you months ago, the shipping container incarnation, deemed gastroPod 2.0, will be serving from 3 p.m. to 11 p.m. Wednesday through Sunday at 160 NW 26th St. The menu is an homage to Pulp Fiction's 20th anniversary. "Expect Big Kahuna burgers, 5 dollar shakes, etc.," said Chef Jeremiah, who tells us gastropod will be the official catering operation at the Miami Project tent in Midtown across from the Target near 36 street. The grab and go cafe will serve Panther coffee, sandwiches, salads and the debut of Jeremiah's newest brainchild, Noodle Head, featuring different fresh hand made noodle shapes, 5 different sauces, and add on garnishes. 

Flaunt Magazine, Guy Gerber & Joe's Jeans' Subject to Change Meets Rumors: At the SLS South Beach, an arty performance by a trio of LA-based artists who go by the name of WIFE and DJ/producer/musician and Diddy collaborator Guy Gerber.Private.

The Art Of Fashion: An exhibition featuring well heeled designers Manolo Blahnik, Christian Loboutin, Roger Vivier and Melissa Shoes for three days from 11 a.m. to 7 p.m. at the Ziff Ballet Opera House. Wednesday party from 11 a.m. to noon is private. From there, you can indeed step your own feet into it via http://www.arshtcenter.org/Tickets/Calendar/2014-2015-Season/The-Art-of-Fashion-Show/The-Art-of-Fashion-Show/.

Artsy Dance Party: Hosted by Artsy CEO Carter Cleveland, Artsy investor and Rupert ex Wendi Murdoch, venture capitalist Peter Thiel, and art collector slash girlfriend of zillionaire Roman Abramovich, Dasha Zhukova, this private, private, private party at The Moore Building will feature  artist Shen Wei (on the eve of his exhibition opening at MDCs Freedom Tower) and music by Theophilus London and NAR.

Thursday, December 4

Institute of Contemporary Art, Miami Party: Hosted by SHFT.COM co-founders Adrian Grenier and Peter Glatzer, the A&E District party honors artist Pedro Reyes with sounds by Latin Grammy nominated DJ Mr. Pauer. Invitation only. 90 NE 17th St.

Disaronno Terrace at the Gale: Invite only from 7 p.m. to 10 p.m. featuring pop artist Jeremy Penn, however, Cat Shell channels Kitty Carmichael for a night of 1920s jazz remixed at the Regent Cocktail Club from 10 p.m. to midnight. That is open to the public.

Moschino's Barbie-Inspired Collection After Party: We told you Barbie would be here. From 9 p.m. till midnight at the Thompson Miami Beach she will be feted by Belvedere, designer Jeremy Scott and Moschino featuring DJ (heh) Paris Hilton, The Misshapes and Mazurbate. No chance. 

Crooks & Castles and Naturel's "Castles in Miami": The Cali clothing company is throwing a private event featuring art, music by Va$htie and Heroes x Villains. Private on NW 25th St.

Faconnable x Jean Cocteau Capsule Collection: Private party at The Webster from 6 p.m. to 8 p.m.

1OAK and Up & Down---shots time!--Pop-Up at Rec Room Hosted by RETNA and hoerle-guggenheim Gallery: LA-based RETNA is known for his "distinctive constructed script derived from Blackletter, Egyptian hieroglyphics, Arabic and Hebrew calligraphy as well as traditional types of street-based graffiti." Kanye West creative director Virgil Abloh will provide the music. Party is "exclusive guest list only," say the party people.  Same story on Saturday night as well. 

KIND's #ICHOOSEART Campaign: That healthy snack bar company is promoting youth art, starting at 6:30 p.m. Thursday at Brick House Wynwood, 187 NW 28th St., where young talent will show off their stuff. The event is free and open to the public and kicks off a series of--wait for it--pop-up performances taking place throughout Miami over the weekend. To RSVP to the Brickhouse event, click here: http://www.eventbrite.com/e/kinds-ichooseart-showcase-gallery-night-art-basel-miami-2014-tickets-14368012111

Raspoutine Paris at Baoli Miami: From now through the weekend, Parisian nightclub Rasoputine takes over Miami Beach's Euro-centric Baoli, which promises to cater to "hedonistic European cabaret lovers looking for a taste of Russian influence." Can you get in? Nyet. Just kidding and looking for an excuse to write 'nyet'. You probably can if you have or happen to be some serious arm candy.

Art on the Move: Ron Terada's Soundtrack for an Exhibition and Simón Vega's Project RoomDaniel Arsham's installation Welcome to the Future: Locust Projects, 3852 N. Miami Ave., opening reception for exhibition that features "thousands of calcified artifacts of 20th century media devices, including boom boxes, electric guitars, Blackberries, Nintendo controllers" and more "preserved like petrified wood or the figures of Pompeii" is ooen to the public at 7 p.m. 

Rolex Party: Again, what better week to introduce a $50,000 watch than this one? Private unless you're in the market for a Rolex, of course. 

III Points/National YoungArts Foundation Presents FKA Twigs & Clams Casino, James Blake and SKTRKT: The III Points music, art and tech festival joins with YoungArts to present a few nights of big names including English songwriter, singer, producer, dancer and alleged Robert Pattinson girlfriend FKA Twigs and hip hop producer Clams Casino. On Friday, English electronic producer, singer/songwriter James Blake headlines, and on Saturday, it's SBTRKT (pronounced Subtract), the Aaron Jerome led musical project that has remixed for the likes of Mark Ronson, Radiohead and Basement Jaxx. All three shows take place at the YoungArts campus on Biscayne and cost $25 to $37. The first and last start at 7 p.m. while Blake goes on at 8 p.m. http://www.showclix.com/events/17588

Danny Clinch Book Release Party: Music photog Danny Clinch celebrates his book Still Moving with a private party at Dream Hotel's Highbar featuring a DJ set by The Kills' Alison Mosshart and performances by Clinch's Tangiers Blues Band with special guest Robert Randolph of funk/soul band Robert Randolph and the Family Band. In addition to Clinch's work, Morrison Hotel Gallery, D'Angelo Guitars and Dream South Beach are also presenting photography by the iconic Stevie Nicks.

Nautical|Naughty at Art Basel Miami: Invited guests only will join artist Seth Minkin and Barton & Gray Mariners Club for an evening of yachts and art at the Mondrian where they will gawk at big boats and nautical paintings including the debut of Minkin's titillatingly titled "Naked People Doing Drugs."

ATC / British Knights Basel After Party: 10pm at Freehand Miami, this open to the public party celebrates the relaunch of NYC-based shoe and streetwear company British Knights. 

2 Live Crew, Sean Price at The Stage: Miami's own legally offensive rap renegades perform live at The Stage, 170 NE 38th St/ Tickets are $25 at the door which opens at 9 p.m.. On Saturday, Sean Price from Boot Camp Clik/Duck Down Records performs there along with DJs Heron, Ynot and Johnny Walker Red. Tickests are $40 at the door. Doors open at 10 p.m. 

Dom Pérignon ~ Metamorphosis hosted by Alex Dellal, Stavros Niarchos and Vito Schnabel: Lady killer Schnabel, who, a few Basels ago was said to be hooking up with Demi Moore and is currently, seemingly doing the same with Heidi Klum, and his bros, gallerist Alex Dellal and Stavros Niarchos, heir to a Greek shipping fortune, team up with Dom for one of Basel's most star-studded, A-list, uber private, late night, early morning parties at Wall at the W South Beach where random celebs party and pose with each other in an unchoreographed, unrehearsed piece of hedonistic performance art. 

Life and Death Art Basel by PlOt & Grand Central: Miami's venerable house music party Aquabooty and indie pioneers Poplife team up with Life and Death and Pl0T record labels for a 10-hour affair that "shall not resemble a conventional club night or yet another label showcase," they say. "Expect mind boggling music, Life and Death's distinct art direction and a physical transformation of Grand Central and The Garret's performance areas." Open to the public. Get tickets here http://www.residentadvisor.net/event.aspx?634957

Robert Curran Gallery Opening hosted by supermodel Petra Nemcova: The Miami resident photographer whose works appear in the collections of, among other people, the King of Jordan, opens his very own gallery showcasing his extensive collection of travel photos and hosted by the comely Nemcova, who told us, "Robert Curran has been a dear friend of mine since I started the happy hearts foundation which helps to re build safe-resilient schools in places hit by natural disaster. We have traveled the world together and his works represent his love of travel and discovering all cultures living on this planet. Hosting this event lets me now support one of his great loves, photography.” (By invitation only)

Cocktails Under the Stars at The Betsy: The owners of the most literate hotel on Ocean Drive host a private cocktail party on the rooftop deck from 10 p.m. to midnight.

Unveiling of the Limited Edition Hennessy Privilege Decanted Collection by Jon Buscemi: High end sneaker designer Jon Buscemi debuts his contribution to booze culture at a private unveiling at 7 pm somewhere on Collins Ave.

Bombay Sapphire Artisan Series 5th Anniversary Party Hosted by Russell & Danny Simmons, featuring headliner Miguel: Taking place from 7pm to 10pm at the Soho House South Beach Tents, this one is a good one, a private one of course, featuring "an elite mix of celebrities, socialites and art industry influencers" fawning over the 12 finalists of the annual Artisan Series competition, whose winner will be announced sometime before, after or during a special performance by Miguel. 

Dale Chihuly at Fairchild Tropical Botanic Garden: The OG of glass art returns to Fairchild to celebrate the launch of his latest exhbition that will be on view there from December 6 to May 31. A few private events feature the man himself, including a tram tour that he will both lead and narrate for a select few on Thursday at 10am. On Saturday, December 6 Chihuy will have a panel discussion and book signing that will be open to the public, time TBA, and for Art Basel and Design Miami VIP cardholders, Fairchild's annual Art Basel Brunch & Art Tours from 9am to noon on Sunday, December 7. 

Queen Biennial at the Hotel Gaythering: LGBT heavy hitters are expected to stop by the Lincoln Road stay between December 4 and 7 for a "national survey focusing on the current moment in Queer/LBGT culture" curated by Ruben Esparza. Among the highlights: performance artist Ben Cuevas will knit himself a jock strap while nude. Yep. 

The World of Mr Nobody & Mr Somebody launch: The appropriately titled event, co-created by Sharon Lombard and said to "blur the boundaries between design and contemporary art" is hosted by Design District grand poobah Craig Robins along with Lombard and former Wolfsonian director Cathy Leff. "Part fashion store, part design exhibit, part art installation, part marketplace," The World of Mr Nobody & Mr Somebody will feature "fashion mavericks"  Walter Van Beirdendonck and Bernhard Willhelm, with photography by Miles ladin, graphic works by Peet Pienaar and more clothing by Superella. The party, from, 7pm to 10pm at 91 NE 40th St., is private, but then opens to the regular folk on December 1-15 from 11am to 8pm. 

Disaronno Terrace at the Gale Hotel: Invitation only featuring a DJ Christa Marie.

AD Oasis: Architectural Digest's 4th annual three-day VIP only hideaway at the James Royal Palm is for those in dire need of resting their well heeled souls in a stylish setting. This one's been envisioned by designer Thom Filicia and will feature art and design galleries, free booze and food,live DJ series, mini-spa, and more because Bahhhsel is sooooooo exhausting. 

BBQ with Chris Blackwell: Former Miami music mogul Chris Blackewell is hosting an uber private, reggae-tuned BBQ at the Shore Club. 

PAMM Presents Future Brown featuring Kelela: An arty affair at PAMM featuring the first U.S. performance by Kuwait-born underground dance supergroup Future Brown featuring the vocals of rising R&B star Kelela. Private.

Ruco Line by Ludmilla Radchenko: Galleria Ca' d'Oro teams up with high end kicks line Ruco along with Consul General of Italy Adofo Barattolo for a 6 p.m. VIP cocktail featuring a fashion show created by Euro pop star Ludmilla Radchenko

Psychic Portraits | One-on-One Performance by Karen Finley: Part of Aqua Art Miami, performance artist Karen Finley will be painting "psychic portraits" in the Aqua courtyard, 1530 Collins Ave., from 4:30 p.m. to 6 p.m. December 4-6. The half hour, one-on-one sessions are strictly between  artist and subject and the tongue in cheek result can be yours for just $2,000. Sessions can be purchased through Coagula Curatorial's booth and the Coagula Video Lounge at Aqua. For more zany Aqua events, go to http://www.aquaartmiami.com/.

Friday, December 5

Common and Spike TV Celebrate Framework: A toast to the new Spike TV series Framework, a furniture design competition series, at the W Hotel featuring the show's host (!), rapper Common and special guest DJ Hannah Bronfman, co-founder of  GreenOwl, an environmentally sustainable record label, and daughter of mogul and former Warner Music Group CEO Edgar, Jr. 

Footsteps to Freedom: Not all Art Basel events are soulless. iPads for Soldiers presents an interactive art exhibit featuring authentic combat boots worn by soldiers in Afghanistan. Open to the public from 3 p.m. daily December 5 to 7, the exhibit at 2121 NW 2nd Ave. in Wynwood will feature boots transformed by the likes of Shepard Fairey, RETNA, Mark Cherry, Dolly Parton and Pete Wentz. A launch party open to the publuic (donations accepted) takes place from 6 p.m. to 11 p.m. December 5. RSVP to hellochrisfoundation@gmail.com. 

Francois Frossard Unveils His New Office/Show Room: Interior Francois Frossard, known for many swanky interiors including SET's, is unveiling his new Wynwood-inspired office space slash showroom with a private party featuring exhibitions by luxe furniture designers including Boca do Lobo and Maximo Caminero. 

Free Art Basel Happy Hour at Viceroy Miami: The Brickell hotel's 15th & Vine Kitchen & Bar is throwing a free happy hour from 6 p.m. to 8 p.m. that includes food and one cocktail as well as art by French artist Duaív, whose immigration to the US was sponsored by classical music bigwig Yo-Yo Ma

Club Monaco Lincoln Road Party: In celebration of its opening on South Beach's shopping mall, Club Monaco has paired with gallerist Jeffrey Deitch, who will feature street style artist Olek in a window display in which he will crochette 200 pieces of Club Monaco clothing. Party is invitation only but window gawking is free and open to the public. Knit one, pearl two. 

Ahol Sniffs Glue at Mokai: Although this sounds like it could be a recurring event, the street artist who goes by the dubious name of Ahol Sniffs Glue is hosting a "Basel Backyard BBQ" for his friends in the courtyard of Mokai where there will be hot dogs, beer and a--drink!--pop-up faux tattoo parlor giving out eyeball tattoos. Open to the public for just $10. 

Live Photoshoot with Nina Agdal: Dynamic photog duo Markus & Koala will shoot supermodel Nina Agdal at a Photo Magazine and Markowicz Fine Art party at the Natonal Hotel. This is strictly by invitation only

Official VH1 + Scope Party: Danish singer songwriter Nabiha performs live with DJ sets by Swizz Beatz and Zen Freeman featuring Noesis: a multimedia art installation by Aerosyn-Lex Mestrovic, winner of See.Me Year in Review Grand Prize at SCOPE New York. Mansion. By invite only. 

Mr. Brainwash Life Is Beautiful Unveiling: JR and Loren Ridinger along with Hublot CEO Ricardo Guadalupe and Eva Longoria host a party for the unveiling of the artist's latest. Very private. Confirmation code and all. 

Ocean Drive and Duke Spirits: Hollywood Exposed: American Icons: The magazine and the spirits co. kill a few birds with one issue, celebrating the cover star Krysten Ritter, the presence of Duke founder and John's son Ethan Wayne and fotog John R. Hamilton's never before seen photos of Hollywood royalty at the W South Beach from Johnny Cash and Brigitte Bardot to Paul Newman, none of who, sadly, will be there. Ever. Nor will you. 

PULSE After-Party: Celebrating 10 Years: DJ Michna and Sam Valenti VI of indie label Ghostly International do the music while artist Alexandre Valerio conjures up a "special interactive experience." Shore Club. Private. 

Laure Heriard Dubreuil and The Webster's Preview of An Installation by Maxwell Snow:  By invitation only preview of photog Maxwell Snow's latest installation at the posh Collins Ave. boutique. 4 p.m.

Reggae Roots Rock for Art Basel Weekend: Not even closely related to Art Basel but taking place during, two of Miami's best reggae roots rock acts play at Jazid on December 5 and 6. Inna Sense plays Friday, Le Revol on Saturday. Doors open for both at 9 p.m. Cover is just $10. Not a bad way to escape the Basel frazzle. 

Hunter & Gatti's "I Will Make You a Star": Running through the entire month at Katsuya at the SLS Hotel South Beach, the creative duo premieres their latest series of works featuring overpainted celeb portraits of, among others, Bruno Mars, Pharrell Williams and Jamie Dornan. A VIP party that you can't get into will be hosted by model Toni Garrn.

Wall Miami Beach Art Basel Edition With Guest DJ Paris Hilton: Since her singing career didn't pan out too well, the woman who launched a thousand Kardashians will show off her scratching skills Friday night. Those of us who remember her, cough, vocal debut at the now defunct Pawn Shop many moons ago think this is a very good move on her part. Open to the public, but at doorman's discretion so approach at your own risk. 

Phenomenal Amarante: Uber exclusive, invitation only in the lobby of The Wolfsonian featuring a musical performance by Rodrigo Amarante de Castro Neves, a Brazilian singer songwriter, instrumentalist, and arranger and Eric Cade Schoenborn, a Miami based artist whose Phenonenal Experience Agency blends technology, art and collaboration for "fun and social change." 

Uprise Art Presents: The Young Collectors Lounge: Freehand Miami's private event from 2 p.m. to 6 p.m. for young patrons groups of museums and art institutions nationwide.

Free Arts NYC Charity Dreamcatcher Workshop: Open to the public, yet ticketed event benefiting Free Arts NYC and hosted by Free Arts' head Britt McVicker. http://www.eventbrite.com/e/art-basel-miami-dream-catcher-workshop-to-benefit-free-arts-nyc-tickets-14036245789 

Audemars Piguet & Peabody Essex Museum's Sunset Party for Strandbeest: The Dream Machines of Theo Jansen: Dutch artist Jansen builds gigantic, moving mechanisms out of PVC known as Strandbeest. In 1979, he built a helium-filled PVC UFO that, to this day, still hasn't been found. Fascinating stuff. The Sunset party is private but keep an eye out for any moving PVC pipes around 5 p.m. from the areas around, say, the ocean and 21st and 22nd Streets 

Pushing Boundaries-A Contemporary Art Exhibit & Cocktail Event: A night night--get your shots ready--pop-up poolside at the Delano featuring works by Matthew Satz, Greg Haberny, Shay Kun, Julian Schnabel, Keith Haring and more. Private.

Airball at Delano-Snarkitecture vs. Alchemy featuring performane by Pusha T, Travis Scott and DJ set by Virgil Abloh: A late night party that may be penetrable with RSVP@CarmaPR.com.

Surface Avant Guardian Exhibition Opening at the Mondrian South Beach: 3-5pm. RSVP on SurfaceMag.com/avg2014

EDITION Hotel Party: Ian Schrager's contribution to Marriott Hotels celebrates its Miami location and Art Basel with a late night party hosted by luxe art and lifestyle publication, Whitewall Magazine. Private, private, private. 

Saturday, December 6

Paul Van Dyk at Club Space: The acclaimed DJ just released his latest production, "Only in a Dream," and for fans, it's a dream come true as Van Dyk spins a special 6-hour set at Space.  Ticket information is at http://space.wantickets.com/Events/168115/.

Laurence Gartel Unveils a $200K Art Car: Known as "The Father of Digital Art," Laurence Gartel is unveiling his latest--a $200k RENNtech Mercedes Benze Super Car at a private party on Fisher Island. The car can't even get on without clearance at the ferry terminal, so don't bother trying this yourself.

NSU Museum of Art Fort Lauderdale Director's Brunch with Julian Schnabel: Hosted by Museum Director and Chief Curator Bonnie Clearwater, the 11 a.m. to 2 p.m. brunch celebrates the exhibitions, "Cafe Dolly: Picabia, Schnabel, Willumsen," and "American Scene Photography: Martin Z. Margulies Collection." For information go to www.moafl.org or call 954-525-5500.

Charlie Tonelli's Hostess Miami TV Series Photo Exhibit: Taking place at Barre Motion on South Beach from 7 p.m. to 9 p.m. Saturday, this one showcases black and white photography from Tonelli's show that profiles "the transforming power of the lens on hostesses, waitresses and bartenders" from area restaurants including Red, The Steakhouse, Ball & Chain, Seasalt and Pepper and more. Party features wine, food and the exhibit's subjects. Open to the public with RSVP to hello@barremotionmiami.com

Art Battles: Taking place on Gale rooftop from noon to 3 p.m. 

Nah/No Magazine Launch Party: Free and open to the public from 2 p.m. to 6 p.m. at The Freehand Miami celebrating launch of new magazine dedicated to art and culture. Free Perrier (!) all day.http://thefreehand.com/events-activities/389207971246250/ 

The Sagamore's 13th Annual Art Basel Brunch: It's fun to see the art worldly still in their dark shades (and, depending on who we're talking about in the same clothes, too) from the night before eating crepes at 8:30 a.m.--that is, if you are invited or are an Art Basel VIP cardholder. Luckily for the later risers, the brunch goes until 1 p.m. 

Del Toro Two Year Anniversary and Rumors Party: Private at Delano Beach Club. 7pm-midnight.

Poplife The Deep End Pool Party: DJ Brodinkski and guest DJs spin poolside at the Mondrian from 2pm to 8pm. We think you can get into this one. 

Swig n' Swine Art Basel Miami Beach: Though the name sounds like a perfect title for the entire wee of Art Basel, it's a collaboration between Esquire and Imbibe magazines along with cocktail and hospitality consulting company The Bon Vivants. Taking place from 3 p.m. to 7 p.m. at The Broken Shaker, the event will feature music, free flowing spiked punch, and an all-you-can-eat feast of porck-centric dishes by The Bon Vivants’ Founding Partner Scott Baird; Danny Grant, Executive Chef of Miami-based 50 Eggs, Inc.; Jose Mendin, Founding Partner and Culinary Director of the Pubbelly restaurant group; and Michael Pirolo, Chef/Owner of Macchialina. All proceeds from the $30 ticket will be donated to Miami's Overtown Youth Center. Www.BonVivants.com. 

Pininfarina: Art, Speed & Design: Italian design house known for sports cars is throwing a private soiree at the Lou La Vie Art Gallery & Luxury Car Showroom featuring live painting of an exotic car by a surprise, internationally acclaimed street artist. 

November 06, 2014

Love Boat cast, guest stars reunite on Regal Princess in Fort Lauderdale

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It was a 70s-era pop culture fanatic's dream come true Wednesday as the entire cast and over 20 guest stars of the seminal, iconic TV show The Love Boat reunited on board Princess Cruises' Regal Princess as part of the cruise line's year long 50th anniversary celebration. Love, definitely (of the obesessive fangirl kind, that is), exciting, oh yeah, new? Unless you count some of the star's faces, not so much. The 70s definitely threw up on the Lido Deck at this spectacluar, which seemingly missed nothing other than, perhaps, appearances by The Landers Sisters, Lola Falana, and Lyle Waggoner (Google it, millennials).
 
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There was Gavin MacLeod (Captain Stubing), Fred Grandy (Gopher, turned politician), Ted Lange (Isaac the bartender), Bernie Kopell (Doc), Lauren Tewes (Julie the Cruise Director), and Jill Whelan (Vicki), all decked out in their Pacific Princess finest, helping to christen the new ship and supping with the puppetmaster who paid for all of this---Princess owner Micky Arison.
 
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And while the spirit of The Love Boat brainchild Aaron Spelling indeed was present, his daughter Tori was not, bailing from her master of ceremonies duties a day before the big extravanza because of, cough, a cough. Tori's absence wasn't even noticed as the ship took on a decidedly retro fab, nostalgic theme thanks to a stellar supporting cast, a circus of the stahhhs that included appearances by--throw the life preserver out right here: 
 
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Loni Anderson,
whom we met heading into the ladies' room looking a little lost
Joyce DeWitt, who brought a little Regal Beagle to the Regal Princess
Florence Henderson and Christopher Knight, Brady mother and son who, as far as we know, unlike Gregg and Mrs B, have never hooked up
A bearded Lorenzo Lamas bickering with his umpteenth wife
Carol Lawrence, a musical theater actress who was married to Robert Goulet for a few decades
Kristy McNichol, aka Buddy from Family, sitting next to Eight is Enough patriarch, a puffy, but cuddly Dick Van Patten (discussing reality TV)
A stunning ex Miss America, Lee Meriwether
Doris Roberts, best known for her latter role on Everybody Loves Raymond, but a Pacific Princess regular
Love Boat theme song singer Jack Jones who indeed sang it
One Day at A Time and Mamas & The Papas spawn Mackenzie Phillips looking and, she told me, feeling good and taking it --er, never mind;
Don(ny) Most, aka Ralph Malph from Happy Days, who asked where in New York I was from, Happy Days matriarch Marion Ross
Knots Landing's Joan van Ark, who declined a photo because she told me she was in the hospital all day with "kidney stones"
Frank Sinatra, Jr., who may have had a bit of his legendary dad's swagger, but was completely, like most people, eclipsed by the highlight of the night, none other than Charo.
 
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Charo, as usual, at 63, was on fire. She gave a full blown, rousing performance, showing off her guitar skills, and then somehow, cough, ended up in an elevator with this writer, giving us a private show, a hyped up, hilarious rendition of her catchphrase, 'cuchi, cuchi.' During a photo op with the Latin spitfire, she turned to me and said, "Smile, you leetle beetch." Was this The Love Boat or Fantasy Island? A little bit of both, for sure. 
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Above photos by AP
Below photos by Lesley Abravanel
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Charo before the private elevator show
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Charo during the private elevator show
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Selfie with Don(ny) Most
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Doc about to do the Heimlich on Frank Sinatra, Jr. Kidding.
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Kristy McNichol and Dick Van Patten
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Lee Meriwether
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Carol Lawrence with Joyce DeWitt in the background

October 26, 2014

Aretha Franklin, Courtney Love & more make for a musical, motley, magnanimous time at Blacks' gala

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It was a scene straight out of the Star Wars bar Saturday night when the Blacks' Annual Gala took over the appropriately named Sparkle Ballroom at the Fontainebleau to raise money for childrens' charities. As promised, a motley crew of boldfacers attended including Courtney Love, demurely dressed in Valentino and drag queen Elaine Lancaster-brand lipstick and about whom host Roy Black, a friend not her lawyer, asserted is quite brilliant.We spoke briefly with the former grunge rocker turned actress, who told us she wasn't sure about any future role in the final season of Sons of Anarchy as she just started a role on the Fox show Empire. Then she skipped out for a cigarette.

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TV judge Karen Mills-Francis, aka Judge Karen, was also there, personally invited by the night's headliner, Aretha Franklin, whom Mills-Francis met earlier that day at Carpaccio in Bal Harbour. Apparently Franklin told Mills-Francis she was a big fan of her book, Stay In Your Lane: Judge Karen's Guide to Living Your Best Life, and sent over tickets later that day.

Before Franklin took the stage, we spoke briefly with hip hop artist/ producer Swizz Beatz, who was also there without wifey Alicia Keys, sitting at a table with Haute Living publisher Kamal Hotchandani. Nearby was a newly single Nick Loeb, Sofia Vergara's ex, whose facial expressions we could not catch when host Lea Black, who referred to her former gig, The Real Housewives of Miami as a 'debacle,' was auctioning off a walk on role on his ex's show Modern Family. At some point in the auction, gubernatorial candidate Charlie Crist, sporting a very casual short sleeved shirt, hopped on stage, as did racecar driver Helio Castroneves, who, unlike Crist, was involved in one of the auction items.

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And then there was Ms. Franklin, The Queen of Soul, introduced by a gracious Gloria Estefan, whose husband Emilio joined the drummer for a few, and belted a some hits including Chain of Fools, Bridge Over Troubled Waters, and her newest, rousing and stellar cover of Adele's Rolling in the Deep, before abruptly deciding to leave the stage without finishing a few bars of Respect. An awkward conclusion by TV's Ross Matthews, aka Ross the Intern, who arrived to the event late, had people scratching their heads. Why the abrupt exit? "She was just done," said an insider. And she was. One of her handlers jumped on stage and grabbed the legend's pocket book, which she was stowing visibly under the piano. 

During Franklin's performance, Flo Rida was busy fielding fawning female fans. Rumor has it one of those happened to be V. Stiviano, best known as Donald Sterling's mistress. Backstage, Franklin was holding royal court at a meet and greet, where she went through the requisite photo ops before asking one of her assistants to grab her fur stole, which meant she was ready to roll in the deep of the night. She said she liked Miami and was thinking of staying an extra day.

And despite rumors that Oprah Winfrey, in town for The Life that You Want weekend,a comic con of sorts devoted to all things Oprah, was going to show, the talk show titan was busy making apologies outside Prime 112 to a woman whose foot was run over by her driver. Winfrey, supping with her best pal Gayle King, got out of her Cadillac Escaclade to make sure all was well. It was. In fact,  it was better than well as the woman--who was fine--and countless fans seemed elated to have a brush with the big O.

May 01, 2014

Newly single Prince Harry parties in Miami

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In what was possibly the most carefully, quietly orchestrated visit to Miami outside the Witness Protection Program, a newly single Prince Harry had a night out Wednesday in Miami, supping first at Hakkasan and then partying in a skybox at LIV. The party hearty prince arrived at the restaurant at 9:25 in a signature plaid shirt with a group of about 7 conservatively dressed young men and women and was escorted to a private dining room that was conveniently (for us) located near the bathrooms and visible through the restaurant's signature open shutters. Had you not known there was a member of the British royal family sitting there with his back to the opening, you'd have thought it was possibly a convention of accountants or something similarly staid. They were definitely more Palm Beach than Miami Beach.

While we have no idea who the people in this entourage were, they are all possibly en route to a wedding Saturday in Memphis between London club owner Guy Pelly and Holiday Inn heiress Elizabeth Wilson. But this was no bachelor party. Though we saw Harry happily chatting with his tablemates and one brunette female in particular, it was all innocent, friendly and, well, civilized. Possibly the biggest shock was that we possibly detected a bit of recession in his ample head of fiery, well gelled hair.

Harry, who's no third rate American rapper with a security detail larger than a small nation, was not surrounded by bodyguards--only one massive, imposing one was placed elsewhere in the restaurant to keep an eye out. As this writer not so innocently tried to snap a picture, two staffers jumped and asked that I delete the blurry blobs. Oh well. Cue Lorde here.

Following the dinner, Harry and co. made their way to LIV where, at 1 a.m. he was seen "having the best time." Again, this was no Vegas. Harry kept his plaid shirt on and danced in the comforts of his own skybox. As for pictures of this controlled debauchery, no such luck. Neither pictures nor DJ shout outs were allowed as "per his security detail." Staffers were sworn to secrecy or else it was off with their heads--and their jobs. "I wouldn't have known he was there if it wasn't for you," said one LIV employee. A far cry from the usual attention hungry celebs who play there, that's for sure. As for Harry's whereabouts and behavior today, that's to be determined.

Update: After a brief stay at Soho House, Prince Harry departed Miami with police escort, leaving a whole lot of traffic and dozens of paparazzi in his wake. It's been a royal pleasure.

April 23, 2014

Dennis Rodman thrown out of Joe's Stone Crab

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Dennis Rodman was seen holding court Wednesday night at the bar at Joe's Stone Crab, where our source tells us he was "slapping everyone on their back as hard as he could, screaming in a loud voice, totally wasted." He then walked over to the host stand to ask for a table and "made a giant scene," causing a staffer to pull him aside, quietly telling him he'd not be seated. After that, not even a North Korean dictator could command the beleaguered baller a table as he was overheard telling his group--a male friend and his parents--they'd have to leave and go to Prime 112 instead, saying he can always get a table there.  Police quietly approached and Rodman was overheard apologizing, saying he understood, whispering to the cop that he was "very sorry and respected the decision to kick him out." Was quite the scene, says our source, who says "he looked truly remorseful." Meanwhile, over at Prime 112, Rodman ended up happily nestled at an outdoor table on the restaurant's terrace and, at one point, smoking a cigar inside. "He's such a mess," said our Prime mole. And all was well again in his world. Toto, I have a feeling we're not in Pyongyang anymore.

March 31, 2014

Filmmaker Billy Corben on Miami dumping Ultra: "Getting rid of Ultra is a myopic, generationally-tone deaf solution"

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With the controversy and horrific accident involving a security guard at Ultra heating up the social media airwaves over the weekend, Miami-based filmmaker Billy Corben, known for, among other things, his outspoken views on the Miami zeitgeist, couldn't help but make comparisons to the recent hip hop documentary he and partner Alfred Spellman directed and produced for VH1.
 
"The situation reminds me so much of 'The Tanning of America' and the general pushback on hip hop and violence at concerts," Corben told us. "My heart goes out to security guard Erica Mack, who I hope will make a complete and speedy recovery. This was a disturbing, potentially avoidable incident and calls for a thorough investigation to ensure that those responsible are held accountable and real solutions are developed to prevent it from reoccurring in the future."
 
So will there be an Ultra documentary in Corben's repertoire? That would be a resounding no, and not because he agrees with the Mayor and thinks it should pack up and leave town for good. Quite the opposite, in fact.
 
"Ultra is not for me. I've never been, nor is it likely I'll ever go. But that's what makes Miami Miami: there's something for everyone. We should not allow one tragic incident to derail the 15 year tradition and impact of an internationally recognized event.

Ultra is far more culturally relevant and economically stimulating than the soccer stadium proposal that local politicos are presently salivating over--by the way, if you're interested in reducing trampling incidents, you should probably avoid soccer stadiums. Getting rid of Ultra is a myopic, generationally-tone deaf solution. Mayor Regalado sounds a bit like John Lithgow in Footloose. And, like Rev. Moore, I hope he will someday see the light (of the glow stick).
 
I don't recall this kind of outrage from Miami Mayor Tomás Regalado and Commissioner Marc Sarnoff when, in 2011, Sgt. Javier Ortiz and a group of Miami Police officers beat, choked, tasered (three times) and wrongfully arrested a tourist at Ultra over a glow stick. A video revealed that the cops (two of whom were later arrested in an unrelated Federal extortion and bribery investigation and pleaded guilty) lied in their reports and allegedly committed perjury in sworn depositions. State Attorney Katherine Fernandez Rundle took no action against the tourist or officers.
 
According to the tourist, as he laid bruised, battered and tasered on the ground, fearing for his life, one of the cops said, “Welcome to Miami, bitch." Isn't that just so Miami?  
Last year, during fierce negotiations over Ultra's second weekend, Commissioner Sarnoff reportedly compelled festival organizers to cover all costs associated with a federal lawsuit filed against the city by that tourist beaten by Miami cops. So, if they get rid of Ultra, who's going to pay for their police brutality cases?" 

March 29, 2014

Lawyer on Flo Rida paternity suit: "Surely he knows where babies come from"

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There's some movement in the case between Natasha Georgette Williams, the model suing Flo Rida (real name Tramar Lacel Dillard) for child support of her unborn child. The Miami-based rapper has admitted to participating in the act that may have created a baby with that woman, but he's still skeptical that he's the father. Williams' lawyer Raymond Rafool told us "Shame that Flo Rida attempts such character assassination of the mother of his child all to avoid his moral and financial responsibilities to his child.  But, at least he made some progress from denying he knows Natasha to okay, we had sex - surely he knows where babies come from...."

March 24, 2014

Of Graves concern: ex Miss Sweden's plans to redo legendary architect's signature SoBe building brings bitter battle to 1500 Ocean Dr.

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A former Miss Sweden is trying to get the go-ahead to redecorate three areas of the building at 1500 Ocean Drive, otherwise known as The Michael Graves Building, and according to our sources, the renowned architect is livid. "He's very unhappy," says our source. "It is his signature building!"

Designed in 1993, the building is one of Graves' most famous. So much so that he has sent the building's residents a letter expressing his unhappiness. In it, he writes, "I’m not sure any of you know, but I have been in practice now for fifty years, and this is the first time something like what is happening at 1500 Ocean Drive has occurred in my professional life. . . .  I am quite frankly, devastated by all of this, but don’t know what I can do."

That former beauty queen, Sofia Joelsson, is the owner of SoJo Design, a 13-year-old interior design business. We asked her to chime in on the situation, but so far she remains silent. As of a March 13 vote, at least 49 residents voted against Joelsson while around 48 voted for her plans. 

According to a source at the building who asked to remain anonymous, "It's a case, in my opinion, of people with too much money and too little taste." Taste or no taste, it's also a tough sell for famous lawyer Alan Dershowitz, a resident at the building. "He is also against this redecoration travesty."

Rumor has it he even threatens to sue. Especially after a volatile meeting they had last week when Kevin A. Fox, the husband of board president Camille Polimeni, allegedly told Dershowitz to shut up.

Dershowitz's wife Carolynn Ann Cohen sent a letter to residents saying, "It is worth taking more time to do research on the impact of destroying something – the Michael Graves signature - that many of us think adds value to the building.  Many of us believe that the SOJO design will make 1500 an unsuccessful imitation of what is already available in the area - apartment buildings with high ceilings and grand lobbies and a slicker, hotel style. Our building was not made for this aesthetic and imposing it will look like an unsuccessful hybrid that will not compete with these higher priced buildings. Wealthy people who want that aesthetic will chose the buildings intended for that look.  We will be considered a second best imitation that people with less money can afford.  It will not increase the value of our building, but lower it. We will have destroyed a classic Michael Graves building that makes us special.  Instead, we will get an imitation of a current popular trend that may change again in five years. We will not be able to recover what we had." 

"Good luck with the repercussions," laughs the spy, adding "Dershowitz gets even." Stay tuned.

In the meantime, here's the entire letter Graves wrote to the building's residents.

 

1332366456-michael-graves-438x500Sent electronically to the Residents of 1500 Ocean Drive

 

March 18, 2014

 

Dear Residents of 1500 Ocean Drive,

 

I’m not sure any of you know, but I have been in practice now for fifty years, and this is the first time something like what is happening at 1500 Ocean Drive has occurred in my professional life.  So, I’m new to all this and for that I am sorry.    I should tell you all that there is a different way architects approach problems like this than decorators and designers do.  Architects have a full knowledge about what things cost and the rules that govern certain changes.  For instance, the new covering that is proposed (if I am reading the SOJO drawings right) for the pool area is raised up from the present grade and therefore is not ADA compliant (ADA: Americans with Disabilities Act), in other words, this change is not lawful.  I looked at the proposed changes to the floor plan of the lobby and I don’t know whether you are all aware, but it is massive.  While I was a resident at 1500 Ocean Drive, nobody ever told me that they were dissatisfied with the way the lobby functioned, let alone its appearance. Therefore, I simply don’t understand why those changes were made.  It appears that there is an epoxy coating proposed for the floor finish in the porte-cochère, this too raises the height to a point where it will  not  be  ADA  compliant.    These  were  always  our  stumbling  blocks  in  former  conversations regarding the material in the porte-cochère.  The designers have made an addition of natural stone to one side of the porte-cochère with a large logo on its face.  This is the only place that stone would be used in the building and therefore strikes me as an anomaly and not in character with the rest of the building.  I feel the same way about the tiles that are used on the island in the porte-cochère, the only adjective that comes to mind for these changes is “glitzy”.   There are natural stones used as new flooring in the island – which will be very unwelcoming in regards to certain shoe types.  With regard to the lobby, do you all realize that upon entering the axis leads you directly to the assistant manager’s office, which has a glass façade? It seemed to me the original location for the reception area, where the assistant manager now is, is much preferred.

There was a mention of a $50,000 fee in a letter to me, I don’t know where this number came from as I gave my services pro bono.  My services had to do with the ocean room, the recovering of the furniture and drawings for the elevator cabs.  I am quite frankly, devastated by all of this, but don’t know what I can do.  It’s so strange to me to have gone through the reupholstering of the furniture throughout the public spaces and the installation of the gaming tables in the ocean room, for somebody to come along and say, “Let’s do it again”.  I am sure you are aware of the enormous cost to each of you.  I suspect, if a contractor gave you a preliminary bid, it would exceed the number you are now using.   Even the current number to me, would kill the deal for what you are getting.  Would it be more reasonable for you to take smaller steps in all of this and perhaps, do the porte-cochère first and see how that turns out, instead of the complete upheaval that would be caused by the changes to the lobby, etc. as currently proposed.  I would propose also that you make a distinction between material upgrades such as the resurfacing of the porte-cochere and what has been called “freshening”.  Freshening, I suspect is a euphemism for redesign.   That has nothing to do with material changes, but individual esthetics.

This is hard for me to say, but I noticed that the bottled water that’s given out to residents has on its logo, “The Michael Graves Building”, I was quite surprised to see that , but I’m sorry to say that it will no longer be true if the proposed changes are implemented.   There are elements of design throughout the proposal where I simply don’t understand the rationale.  For instance, there are two round columns in the lobby with a Venetian plaster finish I have always thought were quite beautiful, but the new scheme makes the round columns square.  For what reason would a designer do that? It is simply somebody’s taste, and perhaps changes for changes sake to build up the cost.

I have a fantasy that if you go ahead with all that is proposed, that in the next ten or twenty years the next well-meaning board will come along and put Humpty Dumpty back together again.  If I were still a tenant I would insist on bringing the contractor into the mix at this point to get a preliminary bid on the designs that have been proposed, as I think you will all be quite surprised, and I would hate for you all to get this bill after the renovation and have no idea what you are getting into now.  I would give this to more than one contractor as I don’t think it should be anybody that is proposed by SOJO, there is too much conflict of interest possible for that to take place.  The contractor should be made to bid on what would be ADA compliant, rather than just putting a surface on top of what’s there already with a step.

Finally, I read in one of your letters that SOJO was in contact with me relative to what they were doing. I should tell you that nobody from that firm ever talked to me.  I stand ready to help in any way I can and if there are any further questions you need answered, don’t hesitate to call me.

All my best,

Michael Graves

 

Update: Residents on the other side of the battle--those who wish to see the interior design spruced up--have chimed in loudly, explaining that "There are a multitude of buildings in Miami Beach, NY and other parts of the world whose structures are designed by first class world renowned architects, some even greater than Mr. Graves, and its common areas are designed by qualified INTERIOR DESIGNERS.  They seem to know the difference between the two disciplines." The battle, it seems, is over interior aesthetics. Graves, whose chairs adorn a lobby that some say is reminiscent of "an old age home," stands firm on his original decor. What follows is the first letter he sent to residents in which he expresses his ire at any interior tweaking:

February 6, 2014
Residents of 1500 Ocean Drive
1500 Ocean Drive
Miami Beach, Florida 33139
Dear Residents of 1500 Ocean Drive,
I have been sent copies of the proposed changes and I can’t imagine a worse fate for the building. I would have to characterize them (one in particular) as somewhere between a brothel and Las Vegas. I had always assumed from talking to Ines that the prices were elevated in the building because of my involvement; however the new board seems to think the opposite. From what I can tell the proposals have been made by decorators, not architects and designers like these have no clue as to the concept of domesticity. I am quite frankly devastated by all of this, but don’t know what I can do. It’s so strange to me to have gone through the reupholstering of the furniture and the installation of the gaming tables in the ocean room, for somebody to come along and say, “Let’s do it again”. Are the residents aware of the enormous cost to each of them, which would be the result of any of these schemes? The old board that I worked with was quite frugal, as they didn’t do anything that wasn’t absolutely necessary for fear of the costs.
It really comes down to a question of taste; the glitz that they might have seen in a hotel versus the domestic character that we aimed for. If they are successful in making these renovations, I am afraid not only will the character of the spaces change so dramatically, but I think the character of the inhabitants will over time reflect the glitziness of the renovation.
If there is anything that you can think of that I can do to help the situation, please let me know.
All my best,
Michael Graves

And lastly, as we leave the battle to the building, the renovation proposal from the aforementioned SoJo:

Download 1500OceanDriveProposal_finallo

March 18, 2014

LIV's David Grutman one of Rolling Stone's 50 Most Important People in EDM

 

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Congrats to LIV's David Grutman for making number 11 on Rolling Stone's list of the 50 Most Important People in EDM (Electronic Dance Movement). "This self-made megaclub kingpin crawled his way up the nightlife ranks, starting as a South Beach bartender and eventually winding up as head of Miami Marketing Group, operators of superclub LIV. . . . Playing here is a rite of passage for any breakthrough EDM star – LIV raked in more than $40 million in 2014, according to Nightclub & Bar magazine's annual Top 100." We met Grutman when he was running the show at Tantra back in the, gasp, 90s. He's come a long way from that grassy knoll. Number one was James Barton, Live Nation's President of Electronic Music. We spoke to Grutman, who told us, "I'm so lucky to be even considered to be listed with so many of my heroes!" (Photo/WorldRedEye.com)