Greg Cote's Random Evidence of a Cluttered Blog

End of Miami Herald as we know it (weird stuff found in my long-abandoned desk); plus reason for Heat to worry, Reggie Johnson, Dolphins, Marlins & more

[1) It is TUESDAY, MARCH 26. Reggie Johnson out. Canes big center will be sidelined by a knee ailment at least until the Final Four, if UM's run goes that far. That would have seemed a big loss, once. Now it doesn't. 2) Congrats to Tiger Woods for reclaiming the No. 1 ranking in golf. Now win The Masters, or it won't matter. 3) Didn't do my regular Tuesday in-studio radio spot today on 790/104.3 because LeBatard and Stugotz are on vacation the rest of this week. 4) In the Previous Blogpost (ITPB): Canes, Heat keep the roll on, Madness, face of Cinderella, Marlins. 5) Join us on Twitter @agregcote.

Click on Hoopla: State of Basketball for today's latest column by me, on the Canes and Heat leading the bouncing ball's encroachment on what once was an uncontested football state.

THEY CALLED IT A TOAST. IT FELT LIKE A EULOGY: The other day hundreds of current and former Herald employees (me included) gathered at the doomed building at 1 Herald Plaza (pictured) for a proper farewell. The block-long, five-story landmark will soon be razed by the land's new owner, Genting, a Malaysian development corporation that plans to build a resort and (it hopes) a casino. Toasts were made as champagne glasses clinked, but the whole thing was sad. To me, The Herald selling its iconic bayside home and heading to smaller digs in Doral is a metaphor for the state of the newspaper industry. I cleaned out my desk while there, filling cardboards boxes with pieces of my past. It was not as emotional for me as I'd imagined because that was a building and a desk I'd visited less and less over the years. I was surprised by some of the stuff in those desk drawers that I boxed and brought home. Thought you might be interested in a random list...

Stuff Found In a Sports Writer's Long-Abandoned Desk: This was the cubicle they had Le Batard and I share, so seldom were either of us actually there, let alone together. Here is a random list of a small portion of the stuff I unearthed from the clutter of my desk drawers...

* Tabloid-sized special section for Barcelona Olympics I covered, dated July 23, 1992.

* Program from Jerome Brown's funeral in Brooksville, Fla., July 2, 1992.

* A 1967 issue of Miami Football, "The First Magazine to Cover Exclusively the University of Miami, Dolphins and Dade County High Schools."

* A Soccer Bowl/'80 special section, dated Sept. 20, 1980; Strikers vs. Cosmos.

* Program from Florida Panthers inaugural game, Miami Arena, Oct. 12, 1993.

* Dust-covered plastic 'Exit' sign. (Symbolism!)

* Small third-place plaque for sports columns in 2006 from Florida Sports Writers Association. (Never knew about this. Probably just as well...)

* Personalized hand-written (undated) note from Jimmy Johnson thanking me for attending a UM roast. Including, "Thanks for being so nice to my parents."

* Hand-written letter from Ferdie Pacheco (8/29/97) praising me for something I'd written about Jake Scott.

* Golf ball bearing Oregon Ducks logo.

* Six-pack of 8-ounce Coca-Cola bottles with Super Bowl II logos, Orange Bowl, Jan. 14, 1968.

* Self-help book (Get a Grip On Your Dream) written by long-lost friend and former colleague, Peter Jeff.

* A baseball signed, "To Greg, All my best, Bruce Sutter HOF06." (Whom I've never met).

* Press pass No. 0523 from 1994 World Cup Opening Ceremony, July 17, Rose Bowl.

* Working Media clubhouse pass No. 00052 for Games 1-2-6-7 of 1997 World Series.

* And dozens of old media guides including, of note, the inaugural-season guides for the Fort Lauderdale Strikers (1977), Florida Marlins (1993), Florida Panthers (1993-94) and Major League Soccer (1996).  

A REASON FOR HEAT FANS TO WORRY (YOU KNOW YOU WANT ONE...): A Heat-fan friend texted me last night that this was unnatural and felt weird. "I feel like I need something to complain or worry about," he wrote. I get his point. This 27-game winning streak (next test: Wednesday at Chicago) finds Miami playing at such a high level that everything seems perfect. Too perfect? That's where I come in! Worry Point I: The Heat is Peaking Too Soon! Miami is so hell-bent on breaking the Lakers' 33-game streak and putting so much into it that they are spending mental and physical energy now that they could then be missing in the playoffs. Worry Point II: LeBron James Is Wearing Himself Out. He has been NBA player of the month in November, December, January and February (likely March, too). Better he should save that level of play for May and June. OK there's your starter kit. Now, ready, set ... worry!

THE DOLPHINS REALLY, REALLY WANT YOUR VOTE: The Dolphins are doing everything they can to win that upcoming referendum vote on almost $200 million in public funds for stadium improvements. They have offered to pay the cost of the county-wide vote. Now they are offering to eventually repay what the county would put up, and also to pay penalties if they fail to deliver promised major events including at least four future Super Bowls. All of this is designed to position the Dolphins as square-shooters who are not out to urinate in the public trough. They might as well cut to the chase and just buy billboards that shout, WE'RE NOT JEFFREY LORIA! I expect that, next, the club will offer to have Dolphins players personally drive voters to the polls and have team cheerleaders on your lawn thanking you with Rockettes-style scissor kicks upon your return.

MARCH MADNESS UPDATE: FGCU COACH'S WIFE STILL A HOTTIE: Men's NCAA Tournament doesn't resume until Thursday and Friday with Sweet 16 games -- UM faces Georgetown Thursday night in Washington, D.C., all but a road game for the slightly favored Canes -- but on this break we'd like to report that Florida Gulf Coast coach Andy Enfield continues to have a wife who looks even better than his team plays. And FGCU is about to be eliminated by Florida, so I need to picture and praise Amanda Marcum while I can. It just occured to me that I have become Brent Musberger. This is sad. But not so sad that I would not find this photo to be a distinct blog enhancement.

DOWN-CELLAR WITH THE MARLINS: Sports Illustrated's new baseball preview issue is the latest to consign the Marlins to a predicted last-place finish in the NL East. SI has the Nationals over the Rays in the World Series. One bright spot: The mag projects Giancarlo Stanton as the NL home run leader with 43. (Those might be the only 43 times all season Stanton is not purposely walked).

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Heat-Knicks: Fork time. Brooms ready. New York is ... done!; plus R.I.P. MCA, Shannon/UM torch bridge, Junior Seau, Tiger Woods & more

[1) It is Friday, May 4. R.I.P., Adam Yauch (pictured), MCA of the Beastie Boys, taken by cancer at age 47. In his honor: Make Some Noise. (Warning: Language includes f-words). 2) Am seeing the Beach Boys' 50th anniversary show tonight at the Hard Rock. Oddly, my first time seeing them perform live. Musical treat: Do It Again to set the nostalgic mood. 3) Norwegian expressionist Edvard Munch's iconic 'The Scream' painting sold at auction yesterday for $120 million. Now I just have to find a place in th shack to hang it. 4) Wish I could muster some feel-bad, ex-Cane Jonathan Vilma and you fellow bounty-Saints socked yesterday. But I can't. 5) Join us on Twitter @gregcote]

G3: HEAT 87, KNICK 70; MIAMI WITH INSURMOUNTABLE 3-0 SERIES LEAD: Player of the Game LeBron James with 32 points at the Garden tonight including 17 in the fourth quarter as Miami runs away with it, 87-70, for a dominating 3-nil series lead. Heat shot only 42.6% and got only five points from its bench but a stifling defense held NYK to 31.9% shooting inlduing a paltry 4 of 20 from 3-land. Chris Bosh flew back after being in Miami for his wife giving birth and contributed nine points and 10 rebounds. "Of course he would do that," was my initial reaction on whether Bosh would fly home for the early-Wednesday birth of a son, Jackson, his first child with wife Adrienne. It was priorities, family over basketball. If my boss tried to tell me I had to miss the birth of my child, he'd be my ex-boss. (Besides, there are far worse reasons for missing important games, right Amare "Fire Extinguisher" Stoudemire!?) But Heat get best of both worlds with Bosh flying back up for tonight's Game 3. The Knicks are done now, dead. This was NYK's best shot, because down 3-0 they might as well concede and go look for more fire extinguishers to punch.

Reggie Miller says something stupid about LeBron: I think the pressure of having to keep up with Charles Barkley in the Idiotic Comments category is getting to other NBA announcers. Reggie Miller turned dumb in criticizing LeBron James for reaching out last summer to legends Hakeem Olajuwon, Magic Johnson and Isiah Thomas -- Olajuwon for tips on a low-post game, the others for advice. This was a good thing LeBron did, but Miller portrayed it as weakness. Dear Reggie: You're lucky you made it into the Hall of Fame. Also, you have enormous ears.

JUNIOR SEAU'S DEATH A TRAGEDY, BUT SUICIDE MAKES IT WORSE: Suicide makes it worse because it is seemingly so preventable.  Junior Seau was an all-time NFL great, a San Diego treasure/hero and of course a popular and respected Dolphin later in his career, in 2003-05. His death yesterday -- police say the gunshot wound to the chest was by his own hand -- is a tragedy unmitigated by circumstance. Click on Why, Why for my remembrance column on Seau, online and in Thursday's paper. We all agree this is a terrible loss, sympathizing with his loved ones and feeling terrible that anyone's demons might lead them to this unimaginable conclusion. Do we compartmentalize grief, though? I don't mean his family. I mean we outsiders. Do we feel differently about Seau's death as a suicide than we might if it had been, say, a random murder or a car accident? I'm curious, that's all. And the fact he reportedly did not leave a suicide note -- does that weigh in? I once read a suggestion that suicide involves cowardice and that the absence of a note offering some closure to loved ones magnifies the fact. I'm not sure I can agree. I think I feel that if you are driven to that beyond-desperate state that you deserve unvarnished sympathy and as much understanding as is possible. But I wonder if I were touched personally by such a thing if there might be anger involved, too, after the grief. I don't know. I understand intellectually that people don't so much choose suicide as are compelled to it by forces they cannot control. In this case there is also the dark under-shadow that maybe NFL violence and concussions have their role. Anyway, for now let's just agree it's a plain, stunning tragedy. An all-time NFL great just took his own life at 43. Man. R.I.P., Junior.

SEE THAT BRIDGE? RANDY SHANNON AND UM JUST SET IT ON FIRE: Miami New Times first reported that Randy Shannon, sacked as UM Hurricanes football coach in November 2010, is suing the school in Miami- Dade court to recover money he says he is still owed. That would include a bonus for reaching the 2010 Sun Bowl even though he'd been fired prior to the game. In the lawsuit Shannon claims he was "fired without cause." (I can think of a few thousand Canes fans who might disagree). Bottom line: This came to a suit because neither side could agree on a settlement. The phrase for that is "bad blood." Given Shannon's born-and-raised ties to The U, and vice versa, that's a shame on both ends.

ON LEON SEARCY: Longtime Hurricanes fans will remember big Leon Searcy, the former offensive lineman who carved a solid NFL career, mostly with the Steelers. Just read this interesting piece in the Pittsburgh Post-Gazette on Searcy today. Post-football, money squandered, starting over. Such a typical tale, but nonetheless worth the telling, and the knowing. 

TIGER WOODS AND CHANGING MEDIA: Lost this week, largely overlooked, was Tiger Woods declining a traditional media press conference in favor of a Q&A with fans (pictured) on his personal website, answering only questions submitted to him via Facebook and Twitter. This is not about the increasing power of social media over traditional media. This to me is more about the move by athletes, teams and leagues to control their own message by bypassing TV/radio/newspapers and dealing directly with fans. We have seen it before, such as Shaquille O'Neal announcing his retirement not in a press conference but with a video posted to his Twitter followers. More and more, news is news when athletes say it is, not when media reports it. Another example: the dissemination of the Heat photo showing hoodie-waring players in support of Trayvon Martin. The trend will only grow. The concern: That what you get directly from athletes/teams/leagues (such as a Dolphins website presentation of Jeff Ireland talking about the draft) is tantamount to advertising, or propaganda with a layer of makeup. This trend most recently delivered by Tiger will ironically subtantiate the role of Tradtional Media and the value of its independent voice. Interesting times for sports journalism, these. We're all along for the ride.

NEON BONEYARD: I found this video on Las Vegas' Neon Boneyard to be interesting. Recommended for fans of Vegas, its iconic neon and/or nostalgia.

"DEAR GREG...": "Your blog's OK but would be better if occasionally you would show a photo of a gigantic baby seated on a bench towering over a 6-foot adult man. Thank you." Dear reader: Don't be ridiculous. C'mon.

THE LIST: A MARLINS-INSPIRED SALUTE TO Z'S: The Marlins won again last night in San Fran on another Giancarlo Stanton home run in a game that began as a Carlos Zambrano-Barry Zito pitching matchup. Which got us thinking, of course. Players with "Z" surnames (alphabetically) in the history of our big-four pro teams:

Player   Team, Pos.   Year(s)

Carlos Zambrano   Marlins, P   2012-

Gregg Zaun   Marlins, C   1996-98

Rich Zecher   Dolphins, DT   1966-67

Richard Zednik   Panthers, LW   2007-09

Todd Zeile   Marlins, INF   1998

Jeff Zgonina   Dolphins, DT   2003-06

Scott Zolak   Dolphins, QB   1999

Wang Zhi-Zhi   Heat, C   2003-05

Note: Plus three guys I'd never heard of: Marlins P Mauro Zarate (2007), Dolphins OT Dave Zawatson (1991) and Marlins INF Eddie Zosky (1995). 

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Hurricanes 24, Georgia Tech 7 (Final): UM back in ACC hunt!; plus 'Occupy Dolphins' movement, Herald Song 2011, Strikers, managerial pumpkin & more

[Our Dolphins vs. Tebow vs. Luck poll remains open in blogpost directly below this. Listen to "No Spare Parts," by the Rolling Stones. Join us on Twitter @gregcote]

Vote in latest CANESFAN SATISFACTION METER poll in separate blogpost just above this one! 

G7: HURRICANES 24, GEORGIA TECH 7: UM IMPRESSIVELY BACK IN ACC RACE: Most impressive about this win? That Jacory Harris struggled (8-for-23, one INT). That Lamar Miller was contained pretty well (27 for 93). And that Miami still won easily. Big defensive show. I underestimated UM's D, and maybe its home-field advantage, too. Think Al Golden has this thing flying right. Original post: Miami is a nominal 3-point home favorite and could get right back into ACC contention with a win, but I have a bad feeling about this one. Tech's strength, its running game, plays to Miami's weakness right now, a depleted defensive line. Canes will have a great shot regardless, if the pick-free Jacory Harris shows up again and if Lamar Miller enjoys a return to form. But I'm just not liking the matchup. Hope I'm wrong. By the way, ESPN The Magazine in its latest issue has a nice piece on Al Golden; click here to read. No new ground broken, but a good read. Pick: Georgia Tech, 27-24. 

Other collball Week 8 state FBS games: FIU lost to Arkansas State, 34-16, Tuesday. Central Florida lost to Alabama-Birmingham, 26-24, Thursday. Saturday, besides UM game: South Florida's slide continued vs. Cincinnati, 37-34; Florida State dispatched Maryland, 41-16; and FAU -- needing Andrew Luck even more than the Dolphins -- was flat at home again, this time vs. Middle Tennessee, 38-14. The Gators were off.

National top-25 matchups: 1-LSU handled 20-Auburn, 45-10; 16-Michigan State upset 6-Wisconsin, 37-31; and 8-Stanford rappycacked 25-Washington, 65-21.

'THE MIAMI HERALD SONG 2011': Reader and devoted newspaper fan Alan Donovan, a.k.a Rochester Slim, has re-recorded and updated his tribute song to The Miami Herald and to newspapers in general. Click HERE for the YouTube vid. The main song kicks in at 0:35. It is a bit dirge-like yet charming, sad and inspirational all at once. I hope you like. Even you fat and lazy people watching TV!

'OCCUPY MIAMI DOLPHINS': OK, a Facebook page does not a "movement" make, but that's sort of how one begins these days, right? This Facebook page claims itself as a new hub of Dolfan frustration and reports an Occupy Wall Street-inspired protest outside Sunday's game is being planned. Watch for it, scorn it, ignore it, participate in it -- your choice. Ah, democracy!

MORE REASONS TO BE A TEXAS RANGERS FAN: Besides the fact St. Louis has won many World Series crowns and Texas has none? How about a pumpkin in the half-heartwarming, half-creepy likeness of Rangers manager Ron Washington!

STRIKERS' SHOT AT HISTORY, 31 YEARS LATER: It only took the Fort Lauderdale Strikers 31 years (1980 Soccer Bowl) and the re-formation of the NASL, but the reconstituted Strikers are back playing for a league championship vs. the Minnesota Stars tonight up there and next Saturday at Lockhart Stadium. Win one for Cor van der Hart, fellas! 

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Trying on Dolphins optimism to see how it fits; plus Henne's QB ranking, Hope Solo as God intended, Schnellenberger, caddie, Rodman, Le Batard & more

[Follow me on Twitter @gregcote and I promise not to take out a restraining order unless you start following too closely].

Note: Our separate post on tonight's Dolphins @ Atlanta preseason opener will publish in the blog at 6:30 p.m., one hour before kickoff. Watch for it. 

TRYING ON DOLPHINS OPTIMISM TO SEE HOW IT FITS: Pessimism seems to cloak Dolfan Nation as the preseason begins tonight at Atlanta, and I aim to do something about it in today's latest column. Click on All That Could Go Right to read and then drop a comment here on what you think. Y'all must be hungry for the optimism; the column is the most-read thing on all of MiamiHerald.com. I know much of the negativity is rooted in lack of faith or at least uncertainty in QB Chad Henne, and headlines like the one just below don't help. But even Henne makes my list of things that could go right, all over the field and even off it. Ah, optimism!  

HENNE RANKED NO. 31 STARTER. OUCH. (IT'S 32-TEAM LEAGUE!): This doesn't prove anything but offers more anecdotal evidence why so many Dolfans seem gloom-struck. On the eve of the Dolphins' preseason opener, USA Today debuted its new NFL quarterback power rankings and Miami's Chad Henne is ranked a dismal 31st of 32 projected starters, ahead of only Redskins' Rex Grossman. Seems a bit harsh to me. Wow. The top five in order: Pack's Aaron Rodgers, Pats' Tom Brady, Saint Drew Brees, Colt Peyton Manning and Eagle Mike Vick. Others from AFC East: Jets' Mark Sanchez overranked at 11th, and Bill's Ryan Fitzpatrick checking in 24th.

SCHNELLENBERGER DOWN TO FINAL SEASON: Up at FAU, Howard Schnellenberger annnounced yesterday that 2011 will be his final season before retiring as a coach. Not surprising, but still news considering he has coached since 1959 and meant so much in South Florida, Coral Gables to Boca Raton. Congrats are due (in advance) for a monumental career that helped shape Miami Hurricanes football before growing FAU's program from nothing. Click on Ode to Howard for today's column by me.

HOPE SOLO NUDE! PINCH ME: My favorite female athlete is about to make a lot of people horny happy. America's Goalkeeper, U.S. World Cup soccer star Hope Solo, Tweeted that she had posed au natural for the next ESPN The Magazine "Body" issue. Of course that's strategically nude, tease-y more than explicit. But still! Hope then Tweeted this photo, an outtake from the shoot that shows her romping in a fountain with her white bathrobe flying up and her appearing to be wearing nothing underneath. It's at a time like this I thank God my wife never reads my blog.

DEAR STEVE WILLIAMS: Many of you know Williams is the caddie fired recently by Tiger Woods, the two of them pictured in halcyon days. The caddie has since fired back sans-class at his 13-year benefactor. Steve, first, a reminder. You are a bleepin' caddie, merely that. You are a glorified man-servant paid to carry another man's golf bag, an inherently humble job that does not jibe in any reasonable way with your obviously inflated sense of self. You are interchangeable, literally. No extraordinary talent is associated with your role. A golfer -- let alone one as experienced and accomplished as Woods -- does not need you to read his distance or to make his club selection. He does not need you or a weatherman to know which way the wind blows. (Sorry, Dylan). You are there to be his pack-mule, to rake a sand trap, maybe to glare menacingly at a photographer whose camera whir threatens to dare disturb your boss' pre-swing ritual. The luckiest person in all of sports is the valet caddie raking a cool 10 percent off his lord's big checks. Tiger made you rich, Stevie. How about you take some of that money and buy a little humility.

THE DENNIS RODMAN SHOW: Friday, 10 new inductees will enter the Basketball Hall of Fame in Springfield, Mass. Nobody will notice nine of them, because one of them will be Dennis Rodman. It is ironic that Rodman (pictured) enters for the quiet, overlooked talents of defense and rebounding, because his persona is arguably the most look-at-me outlandish in sports history. There is no amount of tattoos, hair dye or body piercings that Rodman hasn't tried, and no clothing (or lack of) has been too odd or risque. Rodman, 50, wanted to roll into Springfield on a parade float but couldn't get a permit. So he says he'll helicopter in, bring costume changes and be accompanied by acrobats. I love that this guy is going as himself into the hallowed hall. He's a blast of punk rock in a quiet church. This might be the first time in history a bunch of bronze busts have looked mortified.

LE BATARD'S NEW TV SHOW: Dan sent me the 25-second opening of his new show, Dan Le Batard Is Highly Questionable, debuting Sept. 12 on ESPN2, and I like it. Wish I could show it to you here but the Worldwide Leader has an army of lawyers. I will say it's very Miami, visually and musically, and nothing like your standard TV-show intro. Which is good. Le Batard in his career has enjoyed a Midas touch earned with talent and ingenuity, but this will be his biggest professional challenge. I like his chances.

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Vince Young? Reggie Bush? Vote on post-lockout plan for Dolphins (with poll); plus LeBron and Bono, ode to old guys, German women's soccer (hide the children!) & more

["Get Your Truth Here." Thanks to all who tapped into our live online chat today. Do it each Wednesday 1-2. Click HERE to join us live, read transcripts or post questions any time. Also join us at Twitter.com/gregcote R.I.P. Jan van Beveren, the great Dutch goalkeeper and former Fort Lauderdale Striker, dead at 63.].

VINCE YOUNG, REGGIE BUSH MAKE SENSE FOR DOLPHINS: I propose in my latest column (click here) that the Dolphins' post-lockout plan would do well to target QB Vince Young, RB Reggie Bush, utilityman/returner Brad Smith and OLB Jason Taylor -- in about that order of importance. The pretext of the plan is what is realistic and could actually happen. For example, I acknowledge that Carson Palmer is the premier quarterback option but that Cincy hasn't budged in its insistence he won't be traded. Weigh in on my plan by voting below, then tell me how brilliant I am. Um, or not. 

AN ODE TO THE OLD: The best assignment I ever had in school was to interview a grandparent about their life. I recommend it to all kids. I discovered my mother's father testified before Congress early last century as part of a child-labor investigation. That brings me to this mini-tribute to South Florida's most senior sports figures, inspired by the Marlins' rehiring of manager Jack McKeon (pictured left) at age 80. Limiting it to living octogenarians-plus, here's a nod of appreciation as well to tennis great Gardnar Mulloy, still swinging on Fisher Island at age 97. To boxing legends Angelo Dundee, 89, and Ferdie Pacheco, 83. To Miami Herald icon Edwin Pope, 82 (pictured youthfully interviewing Joe Louis). And of course to Dolphins legend Don Shula, now 81. Did I miss anybody? Thanks to you all.

LEBRON AND BONO: Heat star LeBron James got some backstage love from Bono before last night's U2 show at the stadium here. Also in the pic: LeBron's girlfriend, Savannah. Given LeBron's continuing lack of a championship ring, clearly the U2 song dedicated to LBJ should be, "I Still Haven't Found What I'm Looking For." Just sayin'.

MY SUMMER VACATION: Speaking of old guys I'm back at work after a week in California wine country, bookended by nights in wonderful San Francisco, in the wharf area, amid barking sea lions and the best cioppino I have tasted, at Scoma's. Wife and I did 11 vineyards in three days of Sonoma and Napa grape-hopping, including favorites like Duckhorn, Charles Krug and Cakebread. I'd place near that echelon a new wine I hadn't met: Grgich. Don't get the idea I'm an expert or snob. An occasional 2007 Duckhorn cab with a good ribeye is sublime, but I've had many enjoyable affairs with $8 merlots, too. Happy to be back at work. Well, relatively speaking. Not compared to drinking wine all day.

HEAT DRAFT: LOOK OUT, MARIO: Heat traded up slightly to land Cleveland State point guard Norris Cole, pictured rockin' the hightop fade. His thing is quickness and he's a true PG, meaning Miami is targeting the weak area currently manned none too securely by young veteran Mario Chalmers. Cole dominated at times in the Horizon League -- once had 41 points, 20 rebounds and nine assists in a game. Heat see him as a speed-spark off the bench, and hope he can push Chalmers to a higher, more consistent level. (Also pictured is a wiseguy photoshop sent to me of how LeBron James and his prematurely receding hairline might look in a few years. I do not condone this type of humor but pass it along purely for your personal edification). 

GERMAN WOMEN'S SOCCER IS WUNDERBAR!: The women's World Cup is underway in Germany (U.S. won its debut vs. North Korea), and I make no apology for appreciating the women's skills but also for finding the sport sexy. Germany is the heavy favorite to win and also the heavy favorite on the sex-appeal side, with five players posing provocatively (pictured) in the current German Playboy. This reminds us how different we are from Europe. Can you imagine the scandal if members of the U.S. women's team agreed to such a photo spread? It would launch a thousand outraged newspaper columns. Maybe even a couple from male writers! Is such a celebration of the female form wrong? Well, it is mighty low on the food-chain in terms of self- or sport-promotion. But I have a hard time thinking that what's pictured here is much different than Serena Williams posing "artfully" nude in an ESPN The Mag "Body" issue.

PANTHERS LOOKING UP: I like what the Panthers are doing under GM Dale Tallon, whose recent draft gives him 23 picks in two drafts -- 15 of them forwards. Also like the trade for veteran Blackhawks defenseman Brian Campbell, a second-team All-NHL player in 2007-08. Two or three strategic moves in free agency to reach the spending requirement and Cats should (finally) be a playoff team next season.

MICHELLE BACHMANN: Conservative, tea party-right Minnesota Congresswoman Michelle Bachmann has made official her candidacy for the presidency. As best I can tell, she is Sarah Palin, but smarter. Or did that go without saying? (Free advice: Pick a guy named Turner as your running mate, christen a Bachmann-Turner Overdrive campaign theme).

MEL FISHER TREASURES = GRAVE ROBBERS: I find disturbing the news (read here) of the latest find by Mel Fisher Treasures of Key West. This is a legal enterprise. But legal does not absolve these literal gold-diggers of guilt on the moral meter. I see no glamor in modern-day pirates plundering long-sunken-ships for valuables; in effect, robbing the victims of the shipwrecks. By my eye they are raping the remains of underwater cemeteries. I might be alone on this. It just feels wrong.

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Heat-Bulls. It's on! Here's who thinks Miami has little chance. How confident are YOU? (with poll); plus Beastie Boys, peeping on Serena & more

[Note: Our separate Heat-Bulls Game 1 playoff post will publish right here in the blog at 4 p.m. today. Twitter.com/gregcote].

MIAMI VS. CHICAGO: JASON WHITLOCK WEIGHS IN AGAINST HEAT: Many of you know Whitlock (left) is a writer at FOXSports.com. He writes in this column that the Heat pretty much have no chance against the Chicago Bulls in the next round -- which begins Sunday in CHI after the Bulls steamrolled Atlanta last night. Jason's website description, eschewing humility, humbly notes he writes things "other writers can't imagine or can't muster the courage to address." I might add that apparently he occasionally also writes things that "...other writers simply think is too silly to put in print." To me CHI-MIA is even, with Miami having the two best players in the series (sorry, Derrick Rose), and Chicago countering with better depth/bench and the home-court edge. I think Chicago's defense and rebounding are formidable, but also wonder if the Bulls have the offense, beyond Derrick Rose, to match up. They'll need the reawakened Carlos Boozer we saw most of last night. Charles Barkley also said he thinks Chicago will win. I see Miami as a slight favorite. I can respect seeing it too close to call. But to dismiss Miami's chances is just silly. Therefore I hereby decree that Whitlock, for disrespecting the Heat, will from this point forward be haunted by the ghost of Pat Riley's early-'70s pornstache. Take a dip in our poll and give us a reading on how confident you are in the Heat advancing past the top-seeded Bulls. As always, I'm counting on you to try to set the fan hat aside for a second and be totally honest.

[Poll analysis: Very interesting poll trends. The number of votes for "less than 50 percent" are trending up to a degree I checked into where most votes are coming from and, sure enough, after Florida, the second-most by far are coming from Illinois. Obviously our poll has been linked to Bulls fans in Chicago. Hey they call it the World Wide Web. Democracy! Up to Heat fans to stave off the attack from outside].

OUR SECOND-GREATEST EDWIN?: Sorry gotta go with Miami Herald sports legend Edwin Pope first by an uncatchable furlong, but Marlins manager Edwin Rodriguez is on the rail, charging. Catch this piece on ESPN.com for some rightful praise of the job Rodriguez is doing.

THRILLER ON ICE: Not a huge hockey fan I'll admit but you had to be a little mesmerized by the Detroit-San Jose Game 7 last night, won by the Sharks 3-2. I wanted the Red Wings, who'd toughed it back from three games down. Great stage for the NHL.

I RAN A 5K RACE THE OTHER DAY: The preceding headline alone should be good for a chortle from those who know me or have seen first-hand my girth. I am not quite Whitlockesque but neither am I svelte. I stay in some semblance of shape with tennis, biking and so forth but am not a gym guy and not, per se, a runner. The race was the Run For the Roses 5K (3.1 miles) at TY Park in Hollywood, which I did on a lark, and my time was around 36 minutes. That was mostly running interspersed with interims of medicinal walking. It's a really bad time. The good news? I'd have finished first in my age group had I been a woman over 80.

DAD LIKES THE BEASTIE BOYS: One of the small pleasures of my being a parent is that I unintentionally mortify my 19-year-old son by enjoying rap music, not all or most, but some. It isn't my preferred genre (classic rock, country), but I like Eminem, Dre, Snoop Dogg and others. My most recent CD purchase: Beastie Boys' Hott Sauce Committee Part Two. Have followed those guys (pictured) since the early '80s. Click on Make Some Noise for their new song/video (rap kicks in at 1:15) and picture me bappin (yes, bappin, not boppin) along in my car if you can stand the unsettling incongruity of that image.

SERENA, SERENA, SERENA...: Palm Beach's Serena Williams continues to make news for everything but tennis (which she hasn't played since last summer due to injuries). The latest: She tweeted a photo of herself (far right) in silhouette, wearing what appears to be only bra and panties. The photo is rather benign, sort of artsy, even. The problem: It invites the suggestion we are peeping through her bedroom window. The problem with that: This is a woman who has had a problem with a crazed fan recently arrested for stalking. Oops. Hence the photo immediately leaving her Twitter site.

BIKINI FLASH MOB!: Click here. It's OK, Ma. G-rated because it's a PacSun stunt. The flash mob phenomenon strikes me as something without legs. Ten years from now the term will be archaic.

AND IN OTHER NEWS...: Quietly, the Miami Heat has changed its name to Miami Heats.

Click back. Be adding more stuff to this latest post on Friday...

On Heat's first-round playoff series, team MVP (with polls); plus Mayor Luther Campbell, Barry Bonds, heavy girls & more

[Twitter.com/gregcote. I'm the Eddie House of journalism. Just when you think I'm lousy, I surprise you and do something good].

Heat-Sixers Game 1 blog will publish here in a separate post beginning at 2 p.m. sharp!

HEAT GOT BEST-POSSIBLE FIRST-ROUND MATCHUP: I've been listening to misguided fans and greedy media griping how they wish Miami was playing the Knicks in the NBA playoffs' first round instead of the 76ers. Baloney. From a media view at least it's arguable, I guess. We want drama wherever we can find it. (Although this whole season has been that, so what's wrong with a little break?) But from a fan view, don't you want an easier series? Maybe a sweep? Less stress? More rest before round two? That's why you play 82 games. Duh. That's the point of a higher seed. And that's Philly. Players say automatically who they play doesn't matter, but I guarantee you a nice calm, dull four or five-game rout of Philly is preferred to the wilder ride a Knicks series might have been. Then again I'm occasionally wrong. Tell me if I am or not. Take a dip in our poll. (Team MVP poll below this one...).

LEBRON WINS KING-O-METER. NOW YOU NAME THE MVP: Here are final season results for our unpopular King-O-Meter, measuring which of Miami's would-be kings has had the better season based on a cumulative system using 10 statistical categories. I say unpopular because many e-mailers think it's divisive. Anyway, LeBron James wins our 2010-11 Heat King title over Dwyane Wade by 4,804.88 points to 4,174.00. (Wade missed six games to James' three, not enough to have bridged the difference). James led in games led, 43-38, including the last nine straight. (Total adds to 81 because both missed the finale). In 70-plus-point games, sort of a standard for extra good, James led, 17-13. Season high for either was James' 107.24 in Game 49 at Orlando. Wade's best was 92.10 in Game 72 vs. Philadelphia. So I say James was the regular-season team MVP. Do you? Vote.    

BOO, STEIGERWALD! YOU ARE RATIONALIZING A HEINOUS CRIME: John Steigerwald, a columnist for a small suburban Pittsburgh newspaper, has caused a firestorm by suggesting that Bryan Stow -- the Giants fan who got severely beaten after the Dodgers' opener in L.A. and remains in critical condition -- brought it on himself by wearing a Giants jersey to the game. Read the column here if you have the stomach. It is wrong on so many levels. The logic is about the same as blaming a rape victim because she wore a short skirt.

KEVIN NA'S MELTDOWN: Kevin Na (right) shot a 16 on a par 4 at yesterday's Texas Open, the worst par 4 score in PGA Tour history. Click here to watch the video. John Daly maintains the all-time worst hole on record, an 18 on a par 5 in 1998. It is unfathomable to me that any professional golfer has had a worse hole than I ever had, because I stink and do mental cartwheels and handsprings when lucking the occasional par.

SUMMARY OF BARRY BONDS TRIAL: Three years and millions of wasted dollars for a jury to dumbfoundingly conclude that Barry Bonds somehow obstructed justice without lying. That's quite a trick. Among Bonds, the prosecuting attorney and the jurors, there isn't a single soul in this mess who should be feeling proud or the least bit pleased right now.  

AMERICAN IDOL AND FAT GIRLS: Oops I know "fat girls" is prejorative. My bad. Seam-stretching? Metabolistically challenged? Ashley Kauffman, 19, pictured, is making the rounds (Good Morning America earlier today) talking about how she was separated from her friends in the American Idol audience and told she was too heavy to sit in the front row. OMG! WWST!? (What Would [Ruben] Studdard Think). Idol denies this happened. Of course, anyone who has watched the show and how it packages pretty should believe the girl. Dear American Idol: This poor girl is barely heavy at all. Please restrict your blatant weight discrimination to the morbidly obese like the rest of us do.

MAYOR LUTHER "UNCLE LUKE" CAMPBELL?: Is it OK to admit the thought both terrifies and intrigues me? I see it as a possibility, especially with 11 people running post-recall for Miami-Dade mayor, when 15-18 percent of the vote might be enough and name-recognition will matter. Bottom line? It's nuts. Nuts! We'd be a national laughingstock. It would further cement Miami's well-earned reputation as an insane asylum politically. And yet, politically, is the election progression from actors to pro wrestlers to rappers really that outlandish? I think Luke has an outside shot. Seriously. And I like that if only because it delivers the [bleep]in' motherlode to colleagues Carl Hiassen and Leonard Pitts.

Click back. Will be adding more stuff to this latest blogpost later...

THE LIST: HEAT PLAYOFF OPPONENTS: Miami's first-round series vs. Philadelphia starting Saturday will be the Heat's first playoff meeting with the 76ers. Miami's top five most common playoff opponents:

Opponent   Playoff Games   (Series; Most Recent)

New York   24   (4; 2000)

Chicago   21   (4; 2007)

Detroit   16   (3; 2006)

Atlanta   12   (2; 2009)

New Jersey   9   (2; 2006)

Others, all 1 series: New Orleans 7 games; Dallas 6; Indiana 6; Boston 5; Orlando 5; Washington 4; Charlotte 3.

Are you glad or sad that Frank Haith has left UM? (with poll); plus LeBron's mother arrested, choking Butler, Mark Cuban on media & more

[Thanks to all who joined on our live chat today. Great response. Do it every Wednesday 1-2 p.m. and you'd click HERE to join live, read transcripts or post questions any time. Also join us at Twitter.com/gregcote. It's like a party, but without the dancing or open bar].

HAITH WAS OK, BUT THIS CHANGE IS GOOD. AGREED?: Miami men's basketball coach Frank Haith has left UM after seven seasons to take over at Missouri, and I write in this column today that this should be good for both Haith and for Miami. It was time. Hard to blame Haith. His coaching roots are in the Big 12, and Missouri is a better program with 77 wins and three straight NCAA Tournament appearances over the past three years. Missouri also is a better-supported program, although not many aren't compared to Miami. The departure continues a wild ride for The U. Haith's departure on the heels of the firing of football coach Randy Shannon and the departure of athletic director Kirby Hocutt means the three most prominent and important jobs in UM sports have recently changed hands. Haith's UM record is spotty, with an overall record of 129-101 but only 43-69 in ACC play. His teams also reached the NCAA Tournament only once (second round, 2008), with four NIT invites including 2011. Predictable early speculation on Haith's possible replacement has included native Miamian Frank Martin of Kansas State and Mike Jarvis, who turned around FAU's program up in Boca. Meantime let's gauge UM fans' initial reaction to Haith's sudden, unexpected departure. Is it disappointment over losing a quality coach? Happiness that UM can do better? Take a dip in our poll and grade the job Haith did at Miami.

LEBRON'S BUSY WEEK: LIVERPOOL, CARTOON, MOM'S ARREST AND, OH YEAH, BASKETBALL: Heat lost a bad one at home to Milwaukee last night  but I think star LeBron James has other things on his mind today. His mother Gloria was arrested early this morning by Miami Beach police and charged with simple misdemeanor assault, WSVN-7 reported. The bust occurred at the Fountainebleau hotel, related to a dispute with a valet over the tardy retrieval of her car. Busy times for LeBron. Yesterday, he partnered up with Fenway Sports Group, the conglomerate owned by Red Sox owner John Henry, and bought a minority share of England's famed Liverpool soccer club, which FSG recently purchased. Part of the arrangement is that Henry's group will represent LeBron internationally. Also yesterday came the debut of his animated web series, The LeBrons. Click here to watch the 7-minute episode. I did. My response? Keep your day job, 'Bron.

UCONN BEATS CHOKING BUTLER: UConn, 53-41. Huskies were a narrow favorite in last night's NCAA Tournament men's final, but if you weren't rooting for Butler you must be from Connecticut. UConn was for me an unlikeable traditional power vs. an feel-good upstart. Butler, in its second straight Final Four, couldn't be called a classic Cinderella like VCU would have been, but the Bulldogs were about an 8 on the 1-to-10 Cindy scale. So, literally and figuratively ... I said let's go 'Dogs! But, no. Credit to UConn, but let's be honest: Butler choked. Twenty percent shooting!? C'mon.

CUBAN BLASTS INTERNET MEDIA: Dallas Mavericks owner Mark Cuban writes a generally thought-provoking blog and its latest entry (click here) calls into questions the purpose and value of online reporters for sites like ESPN.com and Yahoo.com covering his team. He posits that traditional, local newspaper and TV coverage serve his purposes in a way that Internet coverage does not. The issue he raises applies in all sports now, and especially in Miami, where ESPN.com has all but made a cottage industry of (over)covering the Heat. Cuban's post is worth your time.

TERRY JONES SUCKS. SERIOUSLY: He's the Gainesville preacher (to a flock of about 30 apparent nuts) whose burning of the Quran (Muslim holy book) has sparked deadly outrage in Afghanistan. He bears an eerie resemblance to Jed Clampett, but I digress. Jones' "church" is ironically called the Dove World Outreach Center, even as its hate-mongering leader earns condemnation. Freedom of expression has its limits. It is against the law to willfully incite riots. Hasn't Jones done exactly that?

FLORIDA DERBY ROCKS. SERIOUSLY: If you live in South Florida and have never attended a Florida Derby at Gulfstream, shame on you. You needn't be a bettor or huge horse racing fan to enjoy the spectacle. I wrote from yesterday's race, a big comeback win by Dialed In. I rather like the column (don't always think that) and you'd click on All Dialed In to find it. The horse, now among Kentucky Derby/Triple Crown season favorites, is pictured.    

RUTGERS GETS SNOOKERED: Rutgers University, previously a reputable institution, invited mocking laughter and some campus outrage by paying cherubic, top-heavy Jersey Shore reality air-head Nicole "Snooki" Polizzi $32,000 for a speaking engagement. Comes to mind the phrase: "Signs of the apocalypse."

PRETTY WOMAN, BUT NOT PRETTY MAN: A newspaper vendor from Chile, Miljenko Parserias, pictured, has 82 images of Julia Roberts tattooed all over his body. I could not say it if it weren't true, because this is a blog. As for whatever Julia might be doing underneath Miljenko's pants, let's not even go there.  

THE LIST: FLORIDA DERBY WINNERS: Sunday's Florida Derby winner, Dialed In, will attempt to become the race's 11th champion in 60 years to win more than one Triple Crown race. Those who have:

Florida Derby champ            Triple Crown wins

2008 Big Brown                    Kentucky, Preakness

1995 Thunder Gulch             Kentucky, Belmont

1984 Swale                          Kentucky, Belmont

1979 Spectacular Bid            Kentucky, Preakness

1968 Forward Pass               Kentucky, Preakness

1964 Northern Dancer           Kentucky, Preakness

1961 Carry Back                   Kentucky, Preakness

1958 Tim Tam                      Kentucky, Preakness

1956 Needles                       Kentucky, Belmont

1955 Nashua                        Preakness, Belmont

Note: Seven other Fla-Derby winners won one Triple Crown race: Barbaro (2006), Empire Maker (2003), Monarchos (2001), Unbridled (1990), Snow Chief (1986), Candy Spots (1963) and Bally Ache (1960).

Heat gets huge upgrade in Bibby (with poll); plus Herald on Henne/Hocutt, Dolphins lose Shockey, cheering in the press box & more

[Big response today on the live chat. Thanks. Do it each Wednesday, 1-2 p.m. Click anywhere on this paragraph to join us live or to post questions any time. No topic off-limits except Christian Bale's homeless-man Oscar beard].

HERE'S THE POINT: HEAT BETTER WITH BIBBY: [Wednesday update: Heat has confirmed the Bibby signing. He will  wear uniform number 0. Pat Riley couched the signing in terms of the team continuing to move "into the direction of our championship dreams."] Original post: LeBron James today spoke of Mike Bibby (pictured) as if he's already on the team, saying he'll be a tremendous help, and that's a good enough source for me. Bibby will be a clear upgrade over Mario Chalmers in both talent and experience, and Miami is smart to get him. Available journeyman power forward Troy Murphy also would have served a use, if only as a stopgap until Udonis Haslem's return, but he chose Boston instead. Bibby is the bigger catch, a no-brainer. The Heat still has a legitimate championship chance, but the team's 12-15 record against teams with winning records underlines that improvement was needed. Bibby brings that. Click on Heat Admits It Needs Help for my new column, online now and shipping to Wednesday's paper. Your concurrence or dissent are welcome. Take a dip in our poll.

DOLPHINS LOSE OUT ON SHOCKEY: Free-agent tight end Jeremy Shockey -- the ex-cane who wanted dearly to sign with the Dolphins -- is saying this afternoon he is signing with Carolina. Whether Miami showed no interest or was outbid, this is a big missed chance for the Dolphins at a position of need.

MAKING HENNE AND HOCUTT SQUIRM: My newspaper's pulp edition has two interesting pieces today: A news story on Dolphin QB Chad Henne's early dealings with his new offensive coordinator, and a column on the departure of UM athletic director Kirby Hocutt. They are interesting mainly because they might leave some readers wondering if the subjects were treated fairly. Let's discuss.

Henne's meetings with Brian Daboll vs. NFL rules: The QB casually mentioned to reporters, at a golf tournament, "I've been meeting with [Daboll] for the last month now." Oops. One of the offseason rules is that before March 15 players can use team facilities but not meet with coaches. Cote sez: It isn't the media's job to "protect" local players or teams. This was worth reporting. However, I thought it significant that this story was displayed on page 2D and that the headline ('Henne optimistic about new offense') clearly downplayed the rules-violation aspect. Why? Because this isn't a very big deal. If it were it would have been a front-page story with a hard-hitting headline. Whether the league fines or penalizes the Dolphins over this will say a lot. I would not expect any penalty.

Le Batard says Hocutt put himself over UM in coach-search: The column implies Kirby Hocutt knew while searching for Randy Shannon's replacement he coveted the Texas Tech AD job and therefore steered clear of interviewing Mike Leach or Tommy Tuberville. The premise: That would have been unpopular at Tech and hindered Hocutt's chances to be hired there, with Tuberville the current Tech coach and Leach an ex-coach suing the school. Cote sez: Le Batard has the right in an opinion column to raise the question, but it presumes Tuberville and Leach were obvious candidates who should have been interviewed and the fact they weren't smells funny. That isn't an easy sell. Tuberville is an ex-UM assistant coming off an 8-5 season and Miami (after Shannon) wanted a clean break from recycling a guy who'd been here. Leach is controversial; it wasn't at all surprising image- and brand-minded UM steered clear. Le Batard wrote a good, thought-provoking column, but the reader must judge if it answered whether Hocutt cheated UM on his own behalf.

ON CHEERING IN THE PRESS BOX: Tom Bowles, a freelance NASCAR correspondent for SI.com, says he was fired because he was among journalists who openly cheered as 20-year-old Trevor Bayne won the Daytona 500. I was there. I heard the cheers. I did not add my voice or applause, yet I understood it. I did not feel then, or think now, that it was worthy of condemnation, or firing. What I heard, to me, was a bunch of human beings responding emotionally and without premeditation to a fantastic finish that made for a great, almost unbelievable story. That's all. It's always weird to me that I am allowed to applaud a good story in print, in effect, but not audibly. At the same time I understand the sports writer mandate against "cheering in the press box." It is justified. We are paid, neutral observers, not fans. The mandate is particularly needed in team-sport press boxes. How ludicrous would it be if Jets writers cheered a Mark Sanchez TD pass and soon afterward Dolphins writers roared with delight when Sanchez was picked off? Can't have that. Period. There are always small times, though, when I think it's OK for a journalist to let his heart show. I cannot feel I have violated some sacred law if an emotional rendition of the national anthem moves me to applaud the singer, for example. I felt a lot of things, but shame not one of them, when I joined the applause for Dan Marino after his retirement press conference. Yes, I see that NASCAR writers spontaneously applauding the finish of the Daytona 500 might have been unprofessional, but in the most heartfelt, forgivable way.

JASON TAYLOR, DAMIEN WOODY & DOLPHINS: The stinkin' Jets are purging veterans to cut salary as the NFL lockout looms, and the interesting available names are Jason Taylor and Damien Woody. Might the Dolphins re-sign JT? It would be a sentimental nod, but a shock, too. Won't happen. The best hope is they ceremonially re-sign him for a day and let him retire a Dolphin as was done with Zach Thomas. Even that is a bit doubtful. More intriguing is the possibility of Woody (pictured). He is 33 but can play center, guard and right tackle, a solid and versatile veteran who could really fill an interior-line need. If he can pass a physical and comes cheap, why not?

Click back. Adding more stuff to this post later today...

DEAR GREG...: "...Your blog is OK but would be better if occasionally you would show controversial and somewhat creepy artwork that depicts Elton John breastfeeding his new surrogate baby. Thank you."

Chad Henne deserves support; plus NFL picks, Herald punked by Russian fraudniks, Fredi's revenge, Canes face loss (of pants) at Duke & more

[Follow at Twitter.com/gregcote. It's me, not a fake Russian guy].

BACK OFF, HENNE HATERS / WEEK 6 GEMS: I tell you between Bill Parcells and some of the garbage out there on message boards, Dolphins quarterback Chad Henne can't catch a break. He deserves better. There should not be any thought of benching him. None. Click on The Case for Henne for today's column by me appearing on my Friday NFL predictions page. And when I say Henne deserves more support, I don't just mean from fans. His own team needs to give him more by getting back to more running and better balance. Click on Week 6 Gems for all our NFL picks for the weekend. I like Green Bay at home to beat Miami 27-23, but also see it among the weekly parade of coin-flip games. Give Dolphs a big chance if they bring the run-first mindset and make it work. 

FAKE RUSSIANS INFILTRATE MIAMI!: Holy Borat! A couple of young Miami guys (right) claiming to brothers "Pavel and Yuri Kopeche" from Russia (and with pretty decent fake accents, evidently) lied their way into prominence in Wednesday's Miami Herald off the previous night's Heat exhibition vs. CSKA Moscow. Click here for the sad truth, which arose through message-board chatter from people claiming to know the two friends and calling it a prank. I was hoping the message-board writers might be government operatives planting a smokescreen to obfuscate the fact these two are in fact not only Russian brothers but the subject of a CIA investigation over illegal arms trading? I'm just saying. Who can we trust? Does anybody really know what time it is? Even if this was a prank, I can't blame the writer much. At some point one must trust the decency of one's interview subject, moreso on deadline. Besides, who would dress up like these two pictured except Russian nerds, good-natured liars or people trying to seem like anything but illegal arms traders? I got punked embarrassingly once, by the way. An old Fort Lauderdale Strikers card, Ken Fogarty, told me his sister was on a troop ship bound for the Falklands War. Neat human interest story. If it were the least bit true. S--- happens. Postscript: I don't believe these fake Russians are Miamians at all. I believe they are double-agent Russian spies pretending to be Miamians pretending to be fake Russians pretending to be two guys with way, way too much free time.

FREDI'S REVENGE: The Atlanta Braves today hired deposed Marlins manager Fredi Gonzalez (right), as expected, to replace retiring Bobby Cox. Congrats to Fredi, a good manager and a good man. Florida already has pretty hot division rivalries going with the Mets and Phillies, now the Fredi factor should goose the intensity of games against Los Bravos as well. Two quick thoughts: 1) First the Marlins fire NL manager of the year Joe Girardi, who gets hired by the biggest, most successful franchise in sports and wins a championship. 2) Then the Marlins fire Gonzalez, despite his mostly overachieving with silly-low payrolls, and he gets hired by the club that has won more games than any other NL franchise since 1990. Hmm. It almost makes you wonder if the Marlins should maybe consider firing the guy in charge of doing the firing. Postscript: The Marlins still are trying to hire Bobby Valentine as their next manager, the Palm Beach Post reported. Bobby last managed in the majors in 2002. Question: When one is hired as Marlins manager, is one due congratulations or commiseration?

UM GOING TO DUKE. UH OH. CANES, WATCH YOUR PANTS!: I don't mean uh oh because Duke has any real chance to beat the Hurricanes in football Saturday. I mean uh oh because that campus is the home mattress of the now notorious Karen F. Owen (brunette, far left), the former student whose "thesis" on her many alcohol-fueled sexual encounters with athletes is an Internet sensation. Blue Devil, indeed! (Hey I wonder what the "F." stands for!) Then again, restricting her 13 bedfriends to lacrosse, baseball and tennis players suggests a leaning toward white boys that should allow Randy Shannon to breathe somewhat easier as he does the curfew bedchecks. By the way, how proud must Mr. and Mrs. Owen be, huh? I have two questions for Karen: 1) Why on Earth would you shoot out emails of your name-names "thesis" to friends knowing how easily it could be mass-distributed and go viral? 2) Where were you when I was in college!?

LAWLESS UM HOME GAMES?: Granted all the trappings of a wild crowd were there this past Saturday: Night game, double the booze time, two rivals, sellout crowd. Still, what went on in the stands during UM-FSU was sad, and ridiculous at times. Click here for a YouTube video that captures a slice of the unruliness.

LAWLESS SOCIETY?: A transgenderite, guy-turned-gal Lana Lawless (right), is a long-driving golfer. (Imagine that!) Now she is suing the LPGA, contesting its rule that players on tour must have been born female. See, I'm old-school I guess. I believe, for example, the WNBA has a right to insist its players are born-female, too, so a comeback-seeking, fully waxed Rony Seikaly doesn't show up in a bad wig and start dominating the paint. Dear Lana: You want to make this about civil rights? You had the right to change your gender. It doesn't mean a league should change to suit you.

SPORTSMANSHIP LIVES: Sports can foment cynicism. What we see can be depressing at times. Want a quick antidote? Click here for a remarkable YouTube video of a young man in a wheelchair, Dylan Galloway, scoring a touchdown in an Arkansas high-school game. Sweet. Good. Right.

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GREG COTE: READ columns and blog in The Miami Herald and MiamiHerald.com, including general sports columns, Friday NFL predictions page and Sunday "Random Evidence" notes. FOLLOW on Twitter. WATCH for occasional appearances on ESPN's Outside the Lines and elsewhere. LISTEN on 790 The Ticket's weekly Dolphins pregame show and Tuesdays around 4:20 p.m. JOIN in live chat every Wednesday noon to 1 p.m. CONTACT at gcote@miamiherald.com.