Greg Cote's Random Evidence of a Cluttered Blog

Brock Lesnar poll & All-Star Game poll; plus Enough Wade!, Ron Artest's MJ song, Dolphins, Marlins, Tattoopalooza

     [Twitter.com/gregcote]

      Brock Lesnar's clown act hurts MMA: Brock Lesnar makes a perfect idiot, a perfect villain, a perfect idiot-villain. What he doesn't make, as we saw in UFC 100 the other night, is a very good frontman for Ultimate Fighting Championship or mixed-martials arts in general. At least not if MMA hopes to establish itself as a legitimate mainstream sport, which it still is not. Lesnar's actions blur the line between mixed martial arts and WWE, and make UFC seem like the bare-fisted cousin of pro wrestling, no better, and not to be taken seriously. (By the way, whatever happens to Kimbo Slice?)

Online Surveys & Market Research

     All-Star Game shouldn't weigh on October: Baseball did wrong a few years ago by deciding the All-Star Game should determine home-field advantage in the World Series. By choosing to make one game more important, it made 162 games less important. The WS team with the better record over 162 games should have home-field advantage. The All-Star Game is big enough on pomp, tradition and star-power to stand on its own as a ceremonial exhibition. But that's just me. What do you think?

Online Surveys & Market Research

     A personal plea to my media brethren: ENOUGH DWYANE WADE CONTRACT DRAMA AND DAILY WILL-HE-WON'T-HE-AND-WHEN UPDATES!! Pretty please? No more news stories with no news in them, no more reheated columns, no more blogoney. We get it, OK? Dwyane is eligible to sign a contract extension now, but is prudently waiting, but that implies not a bit that he won't eventually re-up long-term with Miami. So that's it. Now let's give this story the rest it so dearly needs.

     Ron Artest's Michael Jackson tribute song: NBA basketball fading-star Ron Artest (right) has cut a hip-hop tribute to Michael Jackson. No, seriously. Click on I Cry For Mike to listen. It's nothing special, although I have heard worse. WARNING: The song aims diligently for street-cred with requisite, repeated use of the N-word. That's the N-word rap-style, Whitey, ending in a soft 'a,' as in one brother to another. I believe the F-word also rears its head, so the easily offended ought not listen

     No Dolphins top-5's at any position: A small bit of anecdotal evidence furthering the perception that the Dolphins may be defending AFC East champs but hardly are considered division faves in '09. Bucky Brooks on NFL.com ranks his top five players at 10 positions -- quarterback, offensive line, wide receiver, tight end, running back, cornerback, safety, inside linebacker, edge rusher and defensive tackle -- and Miami is shut out. But there are two Patriots included (QB Tom Brady No. 1 and and WR Randy Moss No. 2), and also two Jets (CB Darrelle Revis and DT Kris Jenkins, both No. 4).

     Marlins No. 1 in bang-for-buck: Data-minded reader Dave Oliver computes that the Marlins rank No. 1 in all of baseball in wins-per-dollar, based on 2009 player payroll divided by victories at the All-Star Break. Florida is spending "only" $800,304 per W, followed by the Padres ($1.19 million) and Pirates ($1.28 mill). At the other extreme? New York, New York. Yankees ($3.95 million per win) and Mets ($3.23M) lead the majors in uneconomical spending, followed by Cubs at $3.14M. (Thanks for the number-crunching, Dave!)

      TattooLaPalooza: Regarding that tattoo festival on Miami Beach, remember when tattoos were a statement that meant something? You were ID'd as a tough guy or a social iconoclast. You stood out. Now? Now it seems like everybody and their mother (and aunt, cousin, girlfriend and mailman) have tattoos. Yawn. It has reached a point where people who are inked up are the comformists, and people without tattoos are the rebels. I mean, c'mon Britney, yours is one of 63.8 million American female derrieres with artwork atop the great divide. How daring or special can you possibly feel? Popularity has killed the mystique of the tattoo in much the same way it ruined Harley-Davidson. Harleys and their riders used to be badass, but that was before the company marketed to Middle America and sold its soul in the name of Harley-Davidson Cafes and logoed coffee mugs, barstools and dog vests.

     That'll do it for now.

UM football-expectations poll; plus D.Wade's nemesis, man named Gerald out to save Herald, Dolphins/Marlins needs, Strikers & more

     [Twitter.com/gregcote]

     Dwyane Wade's dubious choice in business partners: Kudos to Miami New Times for a fascinating read on the estranged business partner who heaved bunches of accusations at the Heat's Dwyane Wade -- and whom Wade is suing for slander. Click here for the story.

     Herald's online sportscaster poll: The story introducing it begins, "The last time The Miami Herald conducted a sportscaster poll, Tony Segreto was anchoring local sports..." Hmm. Not to quibble, but our lil' ol' blog here conducted a major local sports-radio poll in January 2006 (Jim Mandich won) and a local TV-sportscasters poll in May 2008 (Joe Rose won). You could look it up, as the saying goes.

     Inspirational dirge, man named Gerald out to save Miami Herald, newspaper industry: Click here for 4 minutes 53 seconds of the oddest song you have ever heard or ever will. The rumor that this is me singing -- you know, that rumor I just started with this unprompted denial? -- is false. I thought it was an unearthed demo from a 1970s promotional campaign that never aired. And with good reason. (The actual artist was a guy named Rochester Slim; click here for his website). The song probably is not Top 40 or dance-floor material. If only we could have found this in time to have Michael Jackson overdub a hiccup or a hee-hee. Nevertheless, remember that, although times may be dark for our industry and this song sounds oddly and perhaps presciently funereal, always, for God's sake always remember, no matter what: The Herald is your friend!

     [Miami Herald song update: "Rochester Slim" and I have been in touch via e-mail. He is Alan Donovan, brother of the late, great Herald research librarian Liz Donovan. Alan says he did the song purely for Liz's amusement on a cheap four-track cassette recorder around 1996].

     Set the bar on UM football expectations: Miami Hurricane football seniors wax optimistic about the coming season in a Herald piece (click here), saying, essentially, that the storm is past and happy days are here again. I'd say the program's rebound is headed right but is ongoing, not complete. I see improvement over last year's 7-6 record but probably not a BCS-bowl type of season, especially with that brutal stretch of @ FSU, Georgia Tech, @ Virginia Tech and Oklahoma opening the 12-game regular season. But that's just me. How about you? Take a dip in our poll and together you all, right here, right now, will set the bar on 2009 expectations:

Online Surveys & Market Research

     [Congrats, and thanks. You made the above our 66th blogpoll to surpass 1,000 votes in its first day. Keep 'em coming!]

     Marlins need bat help, but mostly a closer: With the team seriously contending -- and how 'bout that comeback last night! -- this would be a good time for management to make a move and trade for a proven closer. Could use some lineup pop as well, but there are internal options there such as Cameron Maybin. Click on Saving Grace for today's/Friday's column by me on the Marlins' needs as the July 31 trade deadline looms.

     Evian Roller Babies: Fans of adorable infants doing amazing stunts on roller skates, click here for a YouTube video. 

     On Steve McNair's legacy: We have seen, with Michael Jackson, what death can do for a man. It is the ultimate in accentuating the positive. So it was that thousands attended McNair's stadium service to say goodbye only to a great quarterback, family man and community good-doer -- not to the imperfect man whose philandering played a role in his own death in the murder-suicide inflicted by a girlfriend. The way it ended for McNair lends a posthumous stain to his reputation that is unfortunate but real. Doesn't overshadow all the good, but it doesn't go away either. Euologies get to omit all the bad. Legacies don't.

      Memories of the Fort Lauderdale Strikers: I was among a panel speaking to a sports-marketing class at Barry University this week. Topic: the curious, astounding, fleeting success of the Fort Lauderdale Strikers soccer team in the late 1970s and early '80s. I covered the team then. With me on the panel were former player Thomas Rongen (now coach of the U.S. national under-20 team) and former team marketing guy John Adams. Sweet memories of the special ambience around Lockhart Stadium in those halcyon days. Any old "Striker Likers" still out there? If so drop a favorite memory or two.

     Dolphins must corner the market: The Dolphins could use a veteran cornerback. Right now Will Allen (pictured) is the only proven, starter-caliber corner. Vontae Davis might become that. Isn't now. But I'm not surprised the club isn't interested in considering the return of Patrick Surtain or Sam Madison, both available. Patrick is 33 and Sam 35, and both were banged-up reserves last year with the Chiefs and Giants, respectively. Miami can do better, and younger. But until it does, a reliable, ready-now complement to Will Allen trails only the lack of a proven, premier wide receiver among unmet Dolphin needs as training camp draws near.

     Hank Williams III: Hank III and his band Assjack play downtown Fort Lauderdale tonight/Friday. An item in my paper's Weekend section is, alas, mistakenly accompanied by a photo of his daddy, Hank Williams Jr. Therefore I feel obliged to publish a photo (right) of Hank III, a blog favorite.  

     Women Who Have Managed to Create A Sexy Image Despite Being Generally Unattractive: Today, Lady Gaga.

     Fanning flames of Wade hysteria!: An unnamed South Florida publication that rhymes with "Un Entinel" includes a column fathoming the "devastation" of Dwyane Wade leaving the Heat in free agency. Good column, but for the fact it wouldn't happen for a year if it happened at all. Which it almost certainly won't.

     Funny Headlines With Sad Endings, one in a series: Click here.

      Naked came the receptionist: A British marketing firm, in an effort to boost morale, has asked employees to work in the nude. Click here for the tail tale. As an experiment to see what it was like, I was nude while writing this blog item. I wish other people in The Miami Herald newsroom would quit staring.

     That'll do it for now. 

Signing Iverson a start to keeping Dwyane (happy); plus Cuba happier than U.S., Michael Jackson excessive-adulation poll & more

     [Twitter.com/gregcote]

     Allen Iverson is The Answer. For now: The NBA free-agency signing period begins today and click here for today's column by me on why the Heat should sign FA guard Allen Iverson, who'd love that to happen. He's a veteran playmaker Miami needs, and it would be a step toward keeping Dwyane Wade happy, which is a prerequisite to keeping Dwyane Wade. [An Iverson-to-Heat blogpoll is still accepting votes one post below this one].

     On the Michael Jackson service: Watched most of it. Thought it was well done. Found much of it quite moving, such as the Maya Angelou poem and the young daughter's brief, emotional words. But I must remark derisively on Al Sharpton telling Michael's three kids, "Wasn't nothing strange about your daddy..." C'mon, Rev! Love Michael as a performer, as a person, whatever. But don't try to tell me he wasn't strange. Who in public life has ever been stranger?

     People in Cuba much happier than we in U.S.: This may surprise Cuban Miamians who fled Castro's tyranny and poverty, but people who live in Cuba are rated the seventh happiest, most content people of 143 countries surveyed, with the United States ranking a dismal 114th. No wiseguy, the survey was not conducted by Fidel and Raul. It was conducted by an independent British group; click on happyplanetindex.org for more info. The top 10 in order: Costa Rica, Dominican Republic, Jamaica, Guatemala, Vietnam, Colombia, Cuba, El Salvador, Brazil and Honduras. (Hey don't shoot the messenger. It ain't my list!).

     The Josh and Ricky Show: If Josh Johnson and Ricky Nolasco stay healthy and keep pitching like this, the Marlins will win the  NL East. Period.

     What athlete is most at the top of his game right now?: If you had to pick just one, would it be basketball ace LeBron James, tennis champion Roger Federer, baseball slugger Albert Pujols, golf champ Tiger Woods, or hot dog-eating king Joey Chestnut?

     King of New York slimes King of Pop: New York Congressman Pete King goes on a YouTube diatribe against Michael Jackson (click here for the video), calling him a lowlife, a pervert, a pedophile and saying there was "nothing good about this guy." The invective starts at about the 48-second mark. (Aside to Brett Favre-loving, Sports Illustrated NFL maven Peter King: Change your name immediately). Rep. King says Jackson does not deserve all of the media attention and national mourning he is getting. Agree? Take a dip in our poll.

Online Surveys & Market Research

     On McNair's tragic death: Steve McNair's death is no less sad or no less a tragedy because it was apparently related to an affair he'd been having. By the way, the boyfriend of the woman found dead next to McNair says some pretty self-incriminating stuff on his MySpace page. When are people going to learn that MySpace, Facebook, Twitter and the like are dangerous things in the wrong hands. Or minds.

     Serena. Nice titles!: Serena Williams (right), after winning Wimbledon, was seen wearing a T-shirt that read, "Are You Looking At My Titles?" Short answer? Yes. Absolutely.

     Miami fails to make "stylish cities" list: Oh man, the cultivators and caretakers of the South Beach image and lifestyle are going to be verklempt over this one. Miami is nowhere to be found among the world's 10 most stylish cities based on the 2009 Anholt-GfK-Roper City Brands Index. (Click here for the story). The places more stylish than us, in order: Paris, Milan, New York, London, Rome, Los Angeles, Tokyo, Madrid, San Francisco and Barcelona.

     "Old age" begins at 68: That's according to a new survey of Americans. A bunch of 67-year-olds are running around shouting "Yesss!!" and getting tattoos. 

       Beckham, wife in underwear!: It certainly is not unsual for soccer heartthrob David Beckham and perpetually pouting, sullen-looking wife Victoria to be photographed in undies. What interests me about this latest ad is the streak in Dave's hair. Is that lighting? Or is he going for a look that pays homage to the late, great Yvonne DeCarlo from the Munsters?

     Adler's Marlsox suck: That's my fantasy-league baseball team, which has slipped and slided to seventh place. A fantasy baseball rookie, I have discovered that this is harder than fantasy football, at least for me. I'm not sure why.

     Latest round of thanks...: ...to Las Vegas Review-Journal, Merced (Cal.) Sun-Star, Philadelphia Daily News, Regina (Sask.) Leader-Post, St. Louis Post-Dispatch, Seattle Times, SportingNews.com, and, as always, 790 The Ticket.

      Dear Greg...: ...your blog's OK, but if you're going to post a bunch of non-sports stuff like this can't you at least show a picture of Rihanna partying at Tao in Las Vegas wearing only silver-sequinned stars under her tuxedo jacket? Thank you.

      Geez, you'd think with Rihanna dressing like that we'd rank higher than 114th on the damned happy meter! That'll do it for now.

Happy Fourth Weekend! Our most American sport (with poll); plus Iverson-Heat poll, epic Wimbledon final, Hanley & Josh, McNair

     [Twitter.com/gregcote]

     "Celebrate Fourth of July Weekend with a Blog Double-Poll Extravaganza!"

     Iverson to Heat?: Pat Riley, looking for veteran help at bargain prices, put out feelers to Allen Iverson and Ron Artest. Artest is going to the Lakers (the rich get richer), but A.I. is still out there on the free-agent board. Iverson has some obvious baggage. He is 34, had back and groin injuries last season, and has suffered me-me-itis at times in his career. But he is a maniacal hustler on the floor and obviously has some game left, averaging 17.5 points last season. Iverson can play both guard positions, meaning he could lend the veteran experience Miami now lacks at the point. I say if the Heat can get him cheap, why not? Take a dip in our poll.

Online Surveys & Market Research

      Marlins Hanley, Double-J make all-star team: Baseball announced its all-star rosters today and Hanley Ramirez is voted an NL starter at shortstop, with pitcher Josh Johnson also selected to the team. Both designations are well-deserved. Can't really argue that any Marlin was unfairly omitted. (Although Ricky Nolasco sure has looked the part lately, hasn't he?)

     Star-spangled Wimbledon: An All-American women's final Saturday with Serena Williams beating older sis Venus. Then it was American Andy Roddick reaching Sunday's men's final vs. Roger Federer -- an epic five-set final that ended with Federer prevailing 16-14 in the last set to capture his record 15th major. Roddick and his fans always will wonder what might have been if he hadn't blown a second set tiebreaker that would have put him up 2-0. A tennis weekend almost the way Uncle Sam would want it.

     McNair tragedy: Downer in the festive weekend, the news late yesterday that former NFL quarterback Steve McNair had been shot to death. It's still a mystery. Was it a murder-suicide involving a 20-year-old woman who reports are was in a relationship with the married McNair? Or was it made to look like that by the woman's boyfriend? No matter the particulars, yet another reminder that star athletes are not immune to life's tragedies.

     Our most American sport: Happy Fourth of July weekend everybody! We'll be celebrating with a group of friends on Fort Lauderdale Beach in an 18th annual Magical Wheel of Meat cookout extravaganza possibly involving limited amounts of beer. Do you have a special July 4 tradition? In honor of the holiday vote on what you think is the most American of all sports.

     [Poll observation: Can't believe, even in a Football Town, that more of you people aren't voting for baseball. I mean, hullo? Warts and all, it's AMERICA'S BLEEPIN' PASTIME!!]

Online Surveys & Market Research

    

Miami fans: "We're No. 100!" (Yeah, DEAD LAST!); plus Fredi-Erik-Randy Most Worrisome Coach poll, local title-odds, Arguello, Vick & more

     [Twitter.com/gregcote]

   Miami named nation's lousiest sports town: Men's Health magazine, which I personally don't read because it disrespects my dedicated beer-and-no-exercise lifestyle, ranks 100 American cities for "sports obsession" in its July/August issue and Miami ranks No. 100. Dead last, fans! How does that make you feel? Do we deserve this dubious title? Click here for the mag website. Arlington, Tex., ranks first overall on the list, which is based largely on attendance at events. Jacksonville does well (sixth), but otherwise Florida cities are royally dissed, with Tampa rated 87th, St. Pete 89th, Orlando 96th and, of course, Miami pulling up the sagging rear. I take it the magazine's research was confined to attending a midweek Marlins game during a rain delay? This is an outrage! Even if it's accurate, it's still an outrage! I feel like suing somebody.

     Speaking of rankings...: ESPN's 2009 "Ultimate Standings" are out, a ranking of the 122 Big Four sports teams based on how much they give back to fans. Our teams still rank pretty low, but all four have improved over a year ago, with the Heat ranked No. 55 (up from 87), the Dolphins at No. 61 (up from 108), the Marlins at No. 77 (up from 99) and the Panthers at No. 90 (up from 98).

     Most Worrisome Coach poll: OK, here's the idea. Y'all love Tony Sparano. Swoooooning! And don't much care about the Panthers' Peter DeBoer. That leaves it a three-way race among Fredi Gonzalez, Randy Shannon and Erik Spoelestra among the major local coaches in whom you have the LEAST confidence. Who is it? Take a dip in our poll.

Online Surveys & Market Research

     Dolphins third-likeliest of nine state pro teams to win title next: Our friends at BetUS.com list odds on the next state pro team to win a championship: Rays 2-2, Magic 3-2, Dolphins 5-2, Jaguars 3-1, Buccaneers 11-2, Heat 6-1, Marlins 12-1, Panthers 15-1, Lightning 20-1. First manager/coach to be fired? It's Marlin Fredi Gonzalez first at 3-2 and then Heat's Erik Spoelstra 7-4. Joey Porter over/under on sacks: 12.5.  Ronnie Brown/Ricky Williams over/under on combined rushing yards: 1,699. Likelihood of Dwyane Wade re-signing with Heat in 2010: 1-2. First Marlin to be traded: Jorge Cantu 2-1, Jeremy Hermida 5-2, Cody Ross 9-4, Dan Uggla 3-1.

     Obligatory Michael Vick mention: I have a column (click here) reacting to ex-NFL coach Dennis Green predicting Michael Vick will end up with the Dolphins. I wish, but don't hold your breath, kids. I had a poll on this recently and 59.5% of y'all said no-way and 40.5% said Miami should be interested. Still feel the same?

     Alexis Arguello, R.I.P.: Man, the celebrity deaths just keep coming don't they? Sad to hear Arguello, the former terrific boxer with Miami ties, died suddenly and apparently of his own hand. Sympathy to his family and fans. (I was a part of The Herald's coverage of that 1982 Arguello-Aaron Pryor bout at the Orange Bowl early in my career. My biggest memory is being at Pryor's winning post-fight party and seeing all of his handlers and sycophants in a loosely formed Conga line chanting, "HAWK TIME! HAWK TIME! HAWK TIME!")

     Bulletin: Panthers do something right!: Our mostly hapless Florida Panthers today buttoned up left wing David Booth with a six-year contract. That's great. He is young (24) and could blossom into a 40-goal scorer (had 31 last season including two hat tricks). I also find myself rooting for any NHL'er not from Eastern Europe or Canada (David's from Detroit). 

     About this Honduras thing...: All I can tell you is that I have a friend who is Honduran and he supports the military coup because he says the overthrown president wanted to illegally reconfigure the Constitution to position himself as a ruler for life along the lines of the megalomaniacs who have ruined Venezula and Cuba and other places in the region. So there.

     Square watermelons: Japanese farmers have developed square watermelons by growing them inside the vine in square containers. I don't know that this ranks with the automobile or computer among inventions, but a pretty neat idea nonetheless. Inspired, I myself am in the early stages of planning to develop a square bowling ball.

     Swimsuit malfunction: Italian Olympian swimmer Flavia Zoccari was disqualified from a race when her swimsuit was torn asunder in the rear. I don't find this particularly newsworthy; however, I do find it an opportunity to see if I can get away with posting this photo -- oopsies! -- in my family-values blog. As for being DQ'd? Heck, I think as an incentive women should automatically win when this kind of thing happens! 

     That'll do it for now, unless I add more stuff later.

Soccer bashing? No; plus Dolphins' No. 1 concern (with poll); Chad Pennington half-nude (with video), Rosenhaus, Marlins, Madoff, Billy Mays & more

     [LIVE ONLINE CHAT! Wednesdays, 1-2 p.m. Click HERE to join chat live tomorrow or post questions at any time].

     [Twitter.com/gregcote]

     "U-S-A! U-S-A! U-S-Awww": Voluminous amount of e-mail on my soccer column today and most of it expressing displeasure with what some see as a "soccer-bashing" column by me. I do not consider it bashing, but rather a realistic take on soccer's place in the fabric of American sports and interests. Click here for the column, which is online and in today's/Tuesday's paper. Miami-Fort Lauderdale was the No. 1 TV market in the country for US-Brazil viewership Sunday, so I'd have certainly been more popular cheerleading the sport. The U.S. men's team led Brazil 2-0 in Sunday's FIFA Confederations Cup championship match, only to lose 3-2. It marked a big accomplishment nevertheless, because in international soccer we're not as good as much of Europe and South America, but it's important to us to be respected in global futbol circles as not sucking, either. I think soccer will never catch football, baseball or basketball in popularity here, but that's OK. I'm curious if you all think I am being realistic, or bashing.

     Dolphins'-biggest-problem-area poll: It's one month from Dolphins training camp. Do you know where your team is? Earlier today in the blog I had a pick-a-poll contest and (perhaps predictably) "anything Dolphins" was pretty much the winner. Thanks to all who e-mailed me topics. Even the guy who suggested a poll on health-care reform (seriously), which might have been my dullest, least voted-on poll since "Beige vs. Taupe." So here goes. Let's try something overview-y with training camp roaring close. What is your one biggest concern about the team as the season nears?

Online Surveys & Market Research

     Chad Pennington exposed!: Click here for the YouTube video of Dolphin QB Chad Pennington's cover photo shoot for SoBeFit magazine. Included are some shots of Chad shirtless and all sexy, for you ladies out there. Or men as the case may be. Or future opponents looking for bulletin-board material.

     Rosenhaus expanding kingdom?: Is Miami superagent Drew Rosenhaus expanding his kingdom beyond the NFL? Drew today Tweeted that he has been hired by Florida Panthers fans to negotiate lower season-ticket prices. Bizarre. I am launching a full investigation! UPDATE: It was a publicity stunt by the Panthers, who already were planning to lower prices. 

     Time for Marlins to spend, not retreat: Being broomed by the Tampa Bay Rays over the weekend doesn't mean the Marlins have stopped being playoff contenders -- especially with the schedule softening a bit now. Florida needs bullpen bolstering with Matt Lindstrom on the DL for a long while, and, as we were reminded in St. Pete, could use some offensive oomph as well. This is the time for the cheap-o Marlins ownership to spend for some reinforcements. But will they? There is no good reason not to. Florida's is the lowest payroll in the bigs, and revenue sharing and TV income means Jeffrey Loria is pocketing plenty of money that could be going to bringing in help. So, c'mon, Loria. Surprise us. Open the wallet. 

     Jason Taylor takes the fifth: ESPN.com came up with a Top 25 list for NFL players this decade (because it's summer, slooowww), and Dolphin-again Jason Taylor is No. 5. Ahead of him: Tom Brady, Peyton Manning, LaDainian Tomlinson and Seahawks tackle Walter Jones. No other Fishies. Click here for the whole list. More Dolphins: Click here for a recent Ronnie Brown interview with Atlanta radio. One question not asked: Ronnie, how do you feel about the Dolphins not offering you a contract extension yet?

     Ladlylike Chrissie Evert joins anti-grunting crusade: Demure Chris Evert, Fort Lauderdale's own, has joined the civil chorus against the increased grunting and shrieking in women's tennis. Click here for the story. Women's tennis these days sounds like a cross between a childbirth delivery room and the throes of passion. Watch any women's match at Wimbledon to see for yourself. As the chair umpires like to say, "Quiet, please." It continues hilarious to me that a female player will stop and glare at the soft whir of a camera shutter or murmur of whisper from the crowd but seconds later scream "AAAHHHHNNNGGGG!!!!" as she hits the ball.

     Dwyane Wade tops locals up for ESPYs: The 17th annual ESPY Awards, one of the many ESPN conceits that amount to the The Worldwide Leader congratulating itself, happen July 19. Samuel L. Jackson will host, because evidently the even-more-ubiquitous Jamie Foxx was busy. There will be 37 categories, meaning the show will end around July 21. Nominees with So-Fla ties include Heat star Dwyane Wade (best NBA player); Palm Beach's Serena Williams (top overall athlete and best tennis player, female); Miamian Helio Castroneves* (best driver and best moment for winning Indy 500); Misty May-Treanor, wife of then-Marlin Matt Treanor (pictured; best championship performance for Olympic beach volleyball); and local-boy-made-weird Mickey Rourke (best sports movie for 'The Wrestler'). I think only Rourke will win. (*-Surprised Helio wasn't also nominated in the new category, Best Dodge of Federal Prison Sentence on Tax-Evasion Charges).

     Reaction to Madoff sentence: HAHAHAHAHA!!!: Serial swindler and dream-stealer Bernie Madoff, 71, was sentenced Monday to the maximum 150 years in prison as his financial victims cheered in the courtroom. Madoff, following a century and a half of unending abuse from fellow inmates, will be eligible for parole when he is 221, at which time his victims' cheated, grudge-bearing heirs, robbed of their inheritance, will be waiting to kill Madoff with futuristic vaporizing guns upon his release. After torturing him first.

     Heaven just became a more irritating, annoying place: Ed McMahon, Farrah Fawcett, Michael Jackson, AND NOW BILLY MAYS THE SHOUTING TELEVISION PITCHMAN!!! Mr. OxiClean has gone on to that great infomercial in the sky. They say his death at 50 could be related to a bump on the head while on a USAirways flight. I speculate it was related to depression over missing out on the coveted ShamWow account. Anyway, apparently it's true what they say: Death comes in threes, followed inevitably by a fourth. And then a fifth, if you count semi-obscure comedian Fred Travalena.

     That'll do it for now but check back. Plan to add stuff including a poll.

Heat nets two in draft, UM's McClinton to Spurs; plus website craps on '72 Dolphins, Shaq joins LeBron & more

     [Twitter.com/gregcote]

FARRAH FAWCETT: 1947-2009, R.I.P.

 

      Heat drafts two in second round, trades for one, trades away one: (Click on Heat Lose Ground in East for my draft-day column). Miami acquires No. 42 overall pick Patrick Beverley (pictured), the Arkansas point guard, from the Lakers for a future second-round pick and cash. Heat selects LSU shooting guard Marcus Thornton 43rd overall -- then trades him to New Orleans for 2R picks in 2010 and '12. Miami Hurricane Jack McClinton finally goes 51st overall, to San Antonio. Then the Heat closes the draft with the 60th pick, Memphis forward Robert Dozier, who has the wingspan and perimeter defending Pat Riley loves. Depth picks, obviously. Hoping for one gem. Sort of surprised Miami traded to get a point guard, considering they had a rookie starting at PG last year.

     Preamble: 11:04 pm--NBA vows Miami will select sometime this century. 10:26 pm--The first round has ended. Analysts are calling it the most boring first round ever not involving Mel Kiper Jr. ..... 10:15 pm--It is now being estimated that the Heat's first selection, 43rd overall, will be made in roughly early July. ..... 10:06 pm--Has the draft started yet? ..... 5:33--Pat Riley emerges from Draftcave to deny rumors Miami plans to use 43rd and 60th picks to select Gloria and Emilio Estefan. ..... 4:53 pm--Heat continues to not draft anybody. ..... 2:58 pm--No pick yet. ..... 2:10 pm--Nah. Still nuthin'. ..... 1:01 pm--Heat has yet to make a pick, because draft doesn't start for more than six hours. (Stay tuned for updates).

     Original post: Heat has no first-round pick tonight and selects twice (43rd, 60th) in the second round. Miami has a sketchy record on second-round picks, as you can see by the choices in the following poll. These are about the only five guys ever drafted 2R by Miami who amounted to anything with the club. As a preemptive strike for those thinking WHAT ABOUT MARIO CHALMERS YOU JERK!, I would remind that Chalmers was drafted by Minnesota a year ago and then his rights were acquired by Miami in exchange for two 2009 second-round picks and cash. So he was not an official draft pick of the Heat, who then spent more than a second-rounder to get him -- hence his exclusion from our poll.

Online Surveys & Market Research

     Football website craps on '72 Dolphins: Because it's the offseason and something must be done for attention, the website Cold, Hard Football Facts denigrates the status of several NFL accomplishments including Miami's 1972 Perfect Season in a piece you'd see by clicking here. This is the kind of thing that drives Don Shula crazy. It's the standard reheating of the fact Miami's schedule that season (70-126 opponents' record) was soft and included only two regular-season teams with winning records, both 8-6. Writeth CHFF: "Miami's 1972 schedule was so easy we wish we dated it in high school." [Cue canned laughter]. It is the same underbaked logic that would undermine Babe Ruth's 714 homers because, for example, he played before integration. Bulletin: You cannot control the era you play in or your competition, as Shula is pictured at left trying to patiently explain. Fact: Miami played the schedule it was given and won every game, and nobody else, no matter the schedule, has done that. Ever. Any questions? Naw, I didn't think so.

     Shaq headed to Cleveland LeBronaliers: Reports are that Phoenix has agreed today to trade the ghost of Shaquille O'Neal to LeBron James' Cavaliers in exchange for Ben Wallace, Sasha Pavlovic, a second-round pick in tonight's NBA draft, and cash. (Shaq and LeBron are pictured at right dancing with joy). Not sure Shaq has enough game left to push Cleveland over the top in the East. The bigger question: Does Shaq have enough ego left to try to take credit for LeBron like he did with Kobe and D-Wade?

     Marlins doing good. Shhh!: Psst, don't tell anybody, but the Marlins are over .500 and now only 1 game back in the NL East after winning again tonight. That's between us. 

     Miami doctor linked to Manny Being Busted: ESPN.com is reporting (click here) that a Miami doctor, Pedro Publio Bosch, anjd his son are implicated in having providing Dodger Manny Ramirez the banned performance-enhancing drug that got him suspended.

     Dolphins confirm Estefans involvement: Over a breakfast news conference this morning star-struck Dolphins owner Stephen Ross confirmed Miami husband-wife music-making team Gloria and Emilio Estefan now have a (very small) minority ownership stake in the franchise. Gloria already has recorded a version of "Are You Ready For Some Football" to be played at this season's two national ESPN games hosted by the Dolphins. As part of the ownership agreement, Dolfans queued at stadium concession stands will henceforth be said to be waiting in "Conga lines." Also, the Estefans' 28-year-old son, Nayib (pictured at right with his ma), becomes the team's starting left cornerback.

     Let me ask you something...: ...would it be sexist or in poor taste if I posted in my blog a photo such as the one to the left? See, I'm trying to start running more items having to do with golf and I felt this picture showed proper posture. (Not sure what the woman pictured shot on the front nine, but I think it was 44s).

     Wade, Zo tackle foreclosure crisis: Dwyane Wade and Alonzo Mourning are speaking in Miami black communities today as part of Hope Now Alliance's "Bring Hope Home" national bus tour informing lower-income folks how to get help if facing home foreclosure. Hopefully affected residents will follow Wade's personal advice for avoiding foreclosure, which to to become incredibly rich and positioned to sign a six-year, $120 million contract extension with the Heat.

     NCAA violations odds: BetUS.com odds on which school will be busted next for NCAA violations has USC (8-1) and Ohio State (9-1) on top, which Florida among schoolls at 10-1. FSU is there at 12-1. Miami is not among 25 schools listed. Take that, U-haters!

     Caution. Skool Zone!: City of Miami road stencilers misspelled "school" as "scohol" outside Goulds Elementary. Thought it was worth posting the proof before the city requisitions a dictionary and makes a correction.

     That'll do it for now.

OMG. U.S. stuns Spain; plus Wade 'n trade (for Bosh), Favre a Vike, greatest-sidekick poll, English-only & more

     [Click on Twitter.com/gregcote to follow us Tweet-wise. Click on Chatsville to join our live online chat Wednesdays from 1-2 p.m., to read past transcripts or to post a question/comment early].

      Stunning: U.S. shocks Spain 2-0 in soccer: The U.S. stunned world-No.1-ranked Spain 2-0 this afternoon in a semifinal of the FIFA Confederations Cup -- a huge shocker that must rank on a short list of the most impressive victories in international soccer history for the Americans. Spain had a record-tying streak 35 consecutive matches without losing, dating to November 2006, before today. There is a tendency, in international soccer, to think of the World Cup as the only event that matters, especially from the casual-fan perpsective held by most Americans. but this is a big tournament, and an even bigger win. Yeah I'll say it: "U-S-A! U-S-A!"

      Thoroughly unsolicited advice for Riley and Wade: Click here for today's column by me on the Heat. I'd like to see Miami accelerate the move from decent to contender by making moves this summer, not in 2010. That means a trade for Chris Bosh (interest is mutual) even if it meant giving up Michael Beasley. But only if Dwyane Wade would then commit to extend his contract this summer and not work the free-agent market in a year. By doing this you pair Wade-Bosh a year sooner and get to the future quicker. By waiting you make it tougher to get Bosh because competition for him will be more intense in a year. But enough about me. What do you think? (Notice I have tried my hardest to avoid discussing the Heat draft, which happens Thursday night. No first-round pick. Weak draft. Probably no Mario Chalmers this time).

      Favre in purple: Spreading wild across the Internet: Various reports that Brett Favre and the Vikings have an agreement in principle. Does that make a today a national holiday in Peter King's house? Think it makes the Vikings a little better, short-term. Think it helps Favre's legacy not a bit. Think a slew of Cheeseheads feel betrayed. Me? I'm just glad the protracted saga is (apparently) finally over. Let us now hear nothing more of Favre until his first three-pick day.

     Top sidekicks/second bananas poll: With Ed McMahon's passing the obvious impetus for this, name the No. 1 sidekick of all time. Our ballot only allows 10 answers, so we had to leave out the likes of Chewbacca, Donkey, Samwise Gamgee, Ethel Mertz, Dr. John Watson. Nobody from the world of sports stood out. Jim Kiick to Larry Csonka? Too parochial. Scottie Pippen to Michael Jordan? Can't bring myself to consign sidekick status to a player named one of the 50 greatest ever. (Who is sports' greatest or at least most prominent sidekick?) Poll time!

Online Surveys & Market Research

      English first! (Spelling second): A group of very conservative people frightened by diversity thinks English should be declared the official language of the United States, and this group met over the weekend at a national conference at which far-right Pat Buchanan, Spokesman for the Far-Right White Community, was guest speaker. I don't know about this language mania. What I do know is this: When trying to come off like an intelligent, thoughtful group that should be taken seriously, it may be a good idea to not misspell the word "conference" on your big fancy sign.

     A-Rod not a villain, after all (in this case): Update to a previous blogpost's "A-Rod snubs former team" item on Alex Rodriguez reportedly not meeting with the 2009 state championship Westminster Christian team prior to Saturday's Yankees-Marlins game here. The Yankees now say neither they nor A-Rod were aware of the ceremony honoring the team, and that Derek Jeter just happened to be out there at the time. Neither did the Marlins inform the Yanks or A-Rod. So there. 

     Vontae Davis claims an identity swipe: Seems more and more likely the report of the arrest of Dolphins top pick Vontae Davis was bogus. Click here for the word straight from the man's very own blog. (Stolen wallet? What are the odds a cornerback would be picked?) If Vontae is right, the media is wrong here. What happens is, the more we see athletes arrested, the more numb we become to it, and the more believable every report becomes.

     Signs Barack Obama may be too enamored of sports stars: A recent guest was Tony Hawk, who skateboarded down a White House hallway. Seriously. I'm not sure which is sillier. That going on in the White House. Or the very idea of a 41-year-old man skateboarding. Give it up, Tony. Adulthood calls!

     That'll do it for now.

A-Rod snubs his old school; plus Neil Rogers, Wade v. Riley, fight video, Family Guy poll, Dolphins-Estefans, Mickelson & more

     [Twitter.com/gregcote]

     A-Rod snubs Westminster Christian: A mole tells us Yankee Alex Rodriguez snubbed his former school, Westminster Christian, when that school's baseball and softball teams were honored for the 2009 state championships prior to Saturday's Marlins-Yanks game here. Joe Girardi, Derek Jeter and others met with and congratulated the kids. A-Rod was a no-show despite direct requests through both clubs and through WC coach Rich Hofman. Well, so much for Alex's post-steroids image rebuilding. Then again, he had a great excuse. He was suffering fatigue, remember!? Greeting those kids would have been just too, too exhausting for the poor fella!

     The rap on Vontae Davis?: New broke today that the Dolphins' recent No. 1 draft pick was arrested June 9 in his old college town of Champaign, Ill., because his vehicle was too loud and he was driving without a valid license. But the Dolphin say Davis was here at a practice that day. We'll see how this shakes out.

     Uncle Neil off the air. OY!: WQAM just announced that longtime and legendary rant-radio fixture Neil Rogers is leaving the air by mutual agreement. That's big news in local Marconi wireless circles. Also a boost for rival 790 The Ticket, because Uncle Neil remained a ratings monstah. 'QAM plans to replace Neil with sports talk from 10-2 because, well, you know, there just are not nearly enough sports-yak blowhards in this market! ( :D ) Rogers says he has no plans to seek another on-air job, which means offers are invited and he'll be back on the air soon.

     Wade vs. Riley: Who blinks?: It's amusing, this little public back-and-forth between Heat prez Pat Riley and superstar Dwyane Wade. Riles say he won't make any major personnel moves until D-Wade signs a long-term contract. Wade can wait until 2010 to do that and says the Heat should make their moves now, not wait a year. Hmm. What's it all about? What will happen? Rest assured the people who are intensely watching include Chris Bosh. And should include Michael Beasley, too. I'll explore all of this in an upcoming column. What Riley and Wade do -- and whether they do it this summer or in '10 -- is all that matters with the Heat now. That's especially so with Miami having no first-round pick in this week's NBA Draft. Picking 43rd and 60th is not likely to mine a lot in the way of lasting talent, considering Rasual Butler is about the only Heat 2R pick this decade who amounted to much of anything, although Mario Chalmers from last year obviously looks promising.

     The Conga line forms here: Star-struck Dolphins owner Stephen Ross is expected to announce Thursday that Gloria and Emilio Estefan (pictured) -- voice and brains behind the Miami Sound Machine -- will be new minority partners in the Dolphins. Earlier Ross brought Jimmy Buffett into the fold. If this is a systematic march through every So-Fla celeb in the music business, I can only presume the Dolphins will somehow find a way to skip over Luther Campbell and 2 Live Crew.

     $pending big to keep Josh Johnson: The Marlins, not known for opening the wallet on long-term contracts with the exception of Hanley Ramirez, need to pull the trigger again for pitcher Josh Johnson, who is 14-2 since returning -- better than ever -- from surgery. This guy is a legitimate ace, and still only 25. He had better make the all-star team, at 7-1, with a 2.66 ERA and 3.7-1 K's/walks ratio. Johnson's agent said over the weekend it may take close to CC Sabathia money to sew up Johnson. Will the Marlins pony up? A major selling point of the new stadium was the increased revenue streams allowing competitive payrolls. That was tantamount to a good-faith promise.  Well, it looks like spending to keep Johnson will be a major test on whether Jeffrey Loria will put his money where his mouth is. [By the way, click here for a YouTube video of a fight in the stands at Sunday's Yanks-Marlins game].

     'Family Guy' poll: I love Family Guy. It's one of the few things on TV I try not to miss. This is one of those niche polls for people who feel as I do. My favorite character is a dead-heat between Brian and Peter, followed closely by Stewie and Quagmire. Weigh in.

Online Surveys & Market Research

     Mickelson falls short: Phil Mickelson finished as U.S. Open runnerup for a record fifth time today, with Lucas Glover winning. Sorry, Luke, but outside of your family, I doubt many people in America wanted to see you deny Phil his emotional tribute to his cancer-stricken wife. Click here for my column on the U.S. Open finish, online now and shipping to Tuesday's paper.

       Pizza Hut becoming The Hut: Corporate rebranding for some reason fascinates me, like when Kentucky Fried Chicken over time became KFC and now plots to disassociate entirely from the once-iconic Colonel Sanders. The latest? Pizza Huts are dropping the 'Pizza' from their name and gradually becoming The Hut. Seriously. (See left). I doubt this is a good idea. The word 'hut' alone conjures the phrase "Quonset hut" (right) and invites the notion that when you enter a Hut restaurant you will dine in the humid squalor of Spartan, 1940s-era corrugated-metal army barracks and be served gruel by emaciated, time-warped prisoners of war.

     Cote Rules: Cycling: Guys, be a serious cyclist. Own an expensive bike. But, unless you are Lance Armstrong ascending the Alps, do not -- do not -- wear the colorful, logoed racing garb of a competitive cyclist. Seriously. Because, when you are biking on local roads looking like this guy here, 84 percent of the motorists who see you are thinking, "Dork," and struggling to resist a strong urge to "accidentally" run you into a ditch.

     That'll do it for now.

Stallworth suspended indefinitely; plus greatest-athlete poll, D-Wade to White House, road rage, Fightin' Zos, Phelpstache & more

     [Chat: Thanks to all who celebrated our live-chat's move to Wednesdays! Join us every Wednesday from 1-2 p.m. or post a question at any time by clicking Chatcity. Twitter: Our latest followers include HurricaneSports, MiamiNewTimes and some local guy. What do they know that you don't? Twitter.com/gregcote]

     Update: NFL commish does what Miami-Dade judge didn't: The NFL late this afternoon suspended Browns receiver Donte Stallworth indefinitely without pay for the DUI-manslaughter guilty plea that brought only a one-month prison sentence from the Miami court system. In NFLspeak, Browns fans, I'm thinking that means half the season. At least. 

     The all-time greatest athlete is...: I say today in this column that it's Michael Jordan leading my list of the top 15 greatest athletes ever. The column is generating a ton of e-mail from readers offering there opinions, so I thought I'd divert the topic to the blog and throw in a poll as well. Note: The poll only allows 10 choices, so I whittled my top 15 to nine plus "other." After voting, drop a comment saying who you picked No. 1 and why.

Online Surveys & Market Research

     Wade goes to Washington: Don't worry. It's not a trade. The Sun-Sentinel has the story today -- hey, credit where credit is due -- on the Heat's Dwyane Wade getting an invite to meet fly-killing President Obama (see item below) on Friday at the White House. Wade will speak to local youth in D.C. about achieving goals, then participate in a round-table discussion, all geared around Father's Day and responsibility. I suspect a quick game of 1-on-1 on the White House basketball court may happen as well. (Dear Mr. President: If you have time, in between hosting sports stars, could you please fix the economy? Thanks.) 

     Miami loses road-rage crown: Sad news. Miami, after four straight years leading the nation in road rage, has fallen to seventh in the latest poll, with New York, Dallas/Fort Worth and Detroit checking in 1-2-3 for angriest and most aggressive drivers. This is an outrage. How can Miami drivers -- augmented by all the transplanted New Yorkers down here -- not lead the league in tailgating, horns, fingers and guns? I demand a recount!

     Bernie Kosar's financial woes: We hear Bernie Kosar, former UM championship quarterback,  may announce today he is filing for bankruptcy. No jokes on this one.  Sorry to hear it. Bernie is a good guy and a local hero and we wish him well.

     Welcome to Mourning High, home of the Fightin' Zos!: Miami-Dade School Board votes today whether to name a new high school in North Miami after former U.S. Attorney General Janet Reno or retired Heat star Alonzo Mourning. Hmm. Now I love Zo and all the community work he does, but Reno, as the nation's first female attorney general, probably deserves the honor more. Who;'ll get it, though? I predict Mourning. Mainly because Reno angered many Miami Cubans by ordering 6-year-old Elian Gonzalez back to Cuba and the school board will pander to that.

     President Obama kills innocent fly: Barack Obama, during an interview with CNBC Tuesday in the East Room of the White House, swatted dead a nettlesome housefly that had lit on his left hand. Click on Swat Team for the video. You know, I always thought it would be fun to be a fly on the wall of the Oval Office. Not so sure anymore. No word yet whether PETA is planning an outraged protest, while a spokesfly (pictured) for the Musca Domestica Linnaeus Anti-Defamation League said that group is investigating the tragedy.

      Michael Phelpstache: Champion Olympic swimmer Michael Phelps is cultivating a mustache (pictured). Friends say it may be an attempt to disguise himself and avoid publicity in the wake of that bong photo/marijuana scandal. May we then say that Mike is moving from a stash to a 'stache? Swim experts worry that any facial hair runs counter to the concept of aerodynamics and slows a competitor's time -- one reason why, in the history of Olympic swimming, no medal has ever been won by a Hassidic rabbi.

     The past lives of Craig Minervini: South Florida's enduring sports broadcaster and a fixture on Florida Marlins telecasts, Minervini in the late 1980s went by the stage name Craig DeGeorge and did interviews with WWF's Superstars of Wrestling shows. He is pictured here in that early-career role. In the immortal words of Big Poppa: "If you don't know, now ya know, bloggaz."