Greg Cote's Random Evidence of a Cluttered Blog

Sneak peek: ESPN's 'Body' issue (with photos); plus, are you bigger fan of boxing or MMA? (with poll); also, Heat/Rashard Lewis, Marlins-less All-Star Game & more

[IT IS WEDNESDAY, JULY 11: 1) Happy 73rd birthday yesterday to a musical hero of mine, Mavis Staples (pictured). 2) R.I.P., Ermes Effron Borgnino -- character actor Ernest Borgnine, gone at 95. His role in McHale's Navy (1962-66) is another one of my very early, vague-but-there childhood memories. 3) Tardily, I am now full on the Louis CK bandwagon. 4) Played golf Saturday for the first time since April at Sunrise and rediscovered that I stink. 5) Join us on Twitter @gregcote].

Heat on 'OTL': Thanks to ESPN's Outside The Lines for having us on yesterday to talk about how Dwight Howard's eventual landing spot might affect the Heat and rest of NBA.

HEAT LAND RASHARD LEWIS: With Ray Allen already in the fold, the Heat have now also signed free-agent Rashard Lewis, who is 6-10 but can pop from 3'sville and spread the floor. Like Allen, he took less to come here than he could have gotten elsewhere. Like Allen, he is past his prime but has life left in his career. Like Allen, he bolsters/improves the Heat bench. Smart signing.

NU-NU-NUDIO! GET YOUR NAKED ATHLETES RIGHT HERE!: On newsstands this Friday is ESPN The Magazine's fourth annual The Body issue, in which 27 athletes pose artfully naked -- which means you probably won't be offended unless you make a point in life of trying really hard to be. None of the athletes is associated with South Florida, so we miss a chance to relive the thrill of last year when Hanley Ramirez was pictured incongruously doing a domestic chore, his privates tastefully hidden by (yes) an ironing board. This year's cover photo is of Knicks' center Tyson Chandler (left), who hasn't been this naked since being dominated by LeBron James in the first round of the playoffs. The nudie at right is surfer Maya Gabeira. Not sure I consider surfing a sport, but think I am willing to make an exception after scrutinizing this photo. Note sure I consider The Mag's Body issue to be something pandering and silly or good and legit. Am sure I am not below pandering for blog hits by pimping it here.

BOXING VS. MIXED MARTIAL ARTS: Saw that the recent UFC 148 match between Anderson Silva and Chael Sonnen was billed as the circuit's biggest pay-per-view event of the year, which I took as a sign that mixed martial arts -- for all its undeniable (and increasing) popularity -- had not yet reached the mass appeal of boxing. My reasoning: A Floyd Mayweather Jr.-Manny Pacquiao bout would dwarf whatever UFC could throw out there in terms of PPV sales and national buzz. Am I wrong? Admittedly I'm not a huge fan of MMA, which I find cartoonishly violent. (I love baiting fans of the sport including my own two sons by making fun of the kicking, and pointing out that when I was growing up one of the big Guy Rules was that if you were involved in a fight, you didn't kick. "Because that's what girls did." MMA fans find this point neither amusing nor salient). Anyway, here's a poll just for fun, a boutique poll, meaning somewhat narrow interest, perhaps. If it moves you, vote and say why.

OK, THE HOME RUN DERBY WAS PRETTY GOOD...: Must admit Prince Fielder outslugging Jose Bautista for the Home Run Derby title last night made for pretty good TV. Kansas City fans were awfully rough on Robinson Cano -- and that's coming from a Yankee Hater. Sure would have been nice to see Giancarlo in there. ..... Original post: I'll admit I think I'm being parochial because Giancarlo Stanton's knee surgery erases the only Marlin from both tonight's HR Derby and Tuesday's ASG. I just don't look at the list of eight Derby guys and see much exciting. And an All-Star Game with nobody from your team feels like an anticlimax even before the first pitch. Anything else on TV tonight? Think I might find out.

Marlins deserve All-Star snub: Click on Star-Less for today's latest column by me. You want to be outraged that no Marlin was chosen to replace injured Giancarlo Stanton, but you can't, because nobody else has earned a spot on the stage. I write that the humbling all-star snub might be a good thing for a team that took its cocky cue from its manager but hasn't earned the swagger.

Baseball's second-half betting odds: From our friends at Bovada, Yankees (9-2) and Rangers (5-1) are World Series champ favorites, with Marlins 35-1, tied for 16th. In the NL it's Nationals and Giants both 9-2. In the NL East it's Nats 4-5, Braves 9-4, Mets 15-2, and Fish and Phillies both 12-1. Individual betting faves are: NL MVP--Pirates' Andrew McCutcheon (4-1); NL Cy Young--Mets' R.A. Dickey (13-10); AL MVP--Angels' Mike Trout (2-1); and AL Cy--Angels' Jered Weaver (5-2).

DOLPHINS: "WE'RE NO. 26! WE'RE...!": Ron Jaworski's Top 30 NFL quarterbacks countdown for ESPN slots Dolphins incumbent Matt Moore in at 26th.  And most observers are betting David Garrard will beat him out for the starting job.

WIMBLEDON WINS: I generally like televised tennis as background noise but found the weekend's Wimbledon finals pretty compelling. Serena Williams' win was woman-against-girl stuff in terms of power. At her best Serena might be the greatest female player ever. If one could combine eras it's just hard to imagine dainty Chris Evert matching her game. On the men's side all of England cheered for Andy Murray but there also was something quite stirring about Roger Federer rising back to No. 1 after everyone had begun to spade dirt on a career supposedly fading. Good stuff, tennis!

A CIGAR STORY: I'm a cigar smoker (don't do it, kids), not a big-spending aficionado but a guy content with a $3 Arturo Fuente. On a recent trip to Oklahoma City I found myself back at my hotel at 1 a.m. craving a smoke so I traipsed to the convenience store next door for the closest they had to an actual cigar: a five-pack of Phillies Blunts. Insubstantial draw with a ghastly-sweet wrapper, every bit the cheap smoke you'd expect. But here was the worst part, noticed later in fine print on the carton: 'These cigars are predominantly natural tobacco with non-tobacco ingredients added.' Wha-huh!? What the hell else is in there? Cardboard? Mulch? Repurposed dock rope? Moral of story: A) Quit smoking, or B) at least leave the Blunts for the kids who hollow out the mostly-tobacco and replace it with pot.

SOUTH KOREAN DOMINANCE IS RUINING THE LPGA TOUR: Well, I guess that headline about sums up my feelings. Na Yeon Choi winning the U.S. Women's Open is great news in Seoul or Daejeon, but it's another death knell for pro women's golf in this country. Jingoist attitude? Absolutely. Also the truth.

PRESIDENT DROWNS ECONOMIC SORROWS IN BOOZE!: Evidence of U.S. presidents as real human beings is so rare that I feel the need to pass along this campaign-trail photo of President Barack Obama quaffing a beer. Notice it is not a bottled beer. Headline: PRESIDENT FAVORS REINSTATING DRAFT!

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Celebrate freedom: Vote Obama vs. Romney now (with poll); plus holiday video, Ray Allen, Andy Griffith, Marlins (WLY), loving Spo & more

HAPPY BIRTHDAY, AMERICA!: Hope you all had a happy Fourth of July, and happy 236th to the U.S.A. Celebrate freedom by voting in our Obama-Romney presidential poll below. Today is election day and it's too close to call. Also, click on PATRIOT RAP (see right) for our latest holiday video, starring myself and champion Heat architect Pat Riley along with George Washington, Ben Franklin and Thomas Jefferson. (The homies called him T-Jeff...).

[1) It is Thursday, July 5. R.I.P., Andy Griffith, gone at 86. He made 'The Andy Griffith Show' and 'Mayberry RFD' a warmly remembered icons of my early youth. Click here for a 1950s stand-up comedy bit by Griffith. 2) Marlin Giancarlo Stanton is second betting fave at 4-1 in Home Run Derby, after Jose Bautista at 7-2. 3) My latest television love: HBO's 'The Newsroom.' 4) Dontrelle Willis announced his retirement. Marlins should sign him to 1-day contract and send him out with the team that saw his best days. A good guy, D-Train. May he find happiness in his next chapter. 5) Join us on Twitter @gregcote]

POLL: BARACK OBAMA VS. MITT ROMNEY: "WHAT THE...? WHAT THE  HELL!? I THOUGHT THIS WAS S'POSED TO BE A SPORTS BLOG!! STICK TO [BLEEP]IN' SPORTS YOU MORON!!! CANCEL MY SUBSCRIPTION!!! (Wait. The Internet doesn't have subscriptions). CANCEL MY INTERNET!!!" There. I figured I'd represent what will surely be the outraged reaction of some to this poll just to sort of get it out of the way. This blog constantly bets on the side of sports fans/readers having interests much broader than just games, and here is the latest example. It's the Fourth of July, four months 'til presidential election day, and that sounds like a good time to me to take a straw poll on Obama vs. Romney. Vote for the man you currently most support, either strongly or leaning. Or don't vote at all. Ain't freedom great! I included only the two major candidates (sorry, Ralph Nader), because I'm trying to live in the real world here. All I ask is that we keep it civil in the Comments section. Both guys mean to do the best for America, so wouldn't it be neat if we could just be positive and support one without demonizing or disrespecting the other? I have a dream...

CAN HEAT TALK RAY ALLEN INTO THE DISCOUNT BIN?: Heat want top free-agent target Ray Allen for all they can afford to pay him: $3.1 million per season for three years. Others are offering much more, but Miami is offering the (very) good chance of another championship and the open looks that come with being on the same floor with LeBron James and Dwyane Wade. Some free agents (like Steve Nash) are overtly money-minded. Is Allen? We'll see. He visits here Thursday, and Pat Riley leads a pretty impressive, convincing sales team. In case they don't land Allen, Heat also are casting lines for size with Rashard Lewis and Marcus Camby.

Magic living a Dwightmare: Now that LeBron is enjoying an image makeover and making such a lousy bad guy, America needs a new villain. I nominate Orlando's Dwight Howard in my latest column; click on Dwightmare to read.

LeBron merch moving: Upper Deck marketing manager Chris Carlin says sales of LeBron James merchandise "saw the floodgates really, really open" after he won his first NBA championship.

MARLINS: WLY ... WORST LOSS OF YEAR!: Anybody figure out the Marlins yet? A wonderful May. An abysmal June. Now four wins in a row ... but then two losses in a row including the worst of the year yesterday. Trailing 9-2, rally to lead 12-11 in extra innings -- then lose when Heath Bell gives up a walkoff two-run homer. Heath Hell! Topsy turvy season. I need a Dramamine. This could have been such an uplifting win. Wow. Still think Miami has a decent shot at the playoffs. If they miss, though, we'll all look back at a loss like last night's.

CANES MUST CAPITALIZE ON OB/ACC MARRIAGE: Orange Bowl and ACC announce major extension, a 12-year football alliance for Jan. 1 games at 1 p.m. starting with 2014 season. That's a lot of opportunity for the Miami Hurricanes to earn a distinct home-field bowl advantage.

LIVE MUSIC VS. BIG SOCCER: People who know me well would tell you I'm not as big an overall sports fan as most readers might assume from my job (one of the reasons this blog often delves elsewhere), and

so I had a tough decision to make Sunday. Spain-Italy was playing the Euro '12 final at 2:30, but Cory Chisel was playing a live set at Fort Lauderdale's Radioactive Records at 2. Cory and I are acquaintances (through Brendan Benson), so of course I had to go see him. Think I made a good call. Got back to watch the latter part of the game, but a 4-0 soccer match is nobody's idea of a great final ... well, except Spain's. I'd like to introduce you to Chisel's music. Click on Born Again for a video taste. He has a new CD out called "Old Believers" that I look forward to diving into. (Spanish goalkeeper Iker Casillas and Chisel are pictured. I'll let you figure out who's who).

DOLPHIN AND BIG SOCCER: Dolphins RB Reggie Bush Tweeted a photo of himself, far left, hanging out yesterday with a few soccer stars including England's Wayne Rooney (the white guy). I'm not sure why. But I know this: HBO's Hard Knocks will enjoy that Bush has enough juice to hang with Rooney. Dolphins! Star-power!!

PHILLIPINES LOVES SPOELSTRA: Pictured is a banner currently flying in downtown San Pablo City in the Phillipines, where champion Heat coach Erik Spoelstra is popular -- not Manny Pacquiao national hero-popular, but popular. ("Mabuhay" is a Filipino/Tagalog exclamatory that means "Long live!") Though raised in Portland, Ore., Spoelstra is the first head coach of Asian/Filipino-American heritage in any of the four major American pro sports. MABUHAY!

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Bosh out "indefinitely" as Heat down to Big 2; plus Heath Hell, R.I.P. Paul Dee & more

[1) It is Tuesday, May 15. Hope all you moms had a Happy Mother's Day! Pictured right: What a Mom may or may not have looked like in 1957. Favorite rap lyric involving moms: "Word to your moms, I'm here to drop bombs, I got more rhymes than the Bible's got psalms." --House of Pain. 2) Join us on Twitter @gregcote]

Click on Wade's Selfless Grace for my Sunday column on how Dwyane Wade's willingness to let this be LeBron James' team has been the quiet lynchpin of this season's championship hopes. Click Stupid Human Tricks for my Random Evidence Sunday notes column leading with Heat-Pacers and the colorful past of Indiana coach Frank Vogel.

G1: HEAT 95, PACERS 86: MIAMI RALLIES BEHIND LEBRON, D-WADE BUT BOSH HURT: Update: Heat saying today Chris Bosh is out "indefinitely," and that likely means at least there rest of this second-round series. Game post: LeBron James and Dwyane Wade combined for 61 points -- 42 in the second half -- to define Miami's 95-86 triumph over Indiana in Game of the second round yesterday. Click on Shining Stars for my column off the game on how the Big 2 took over (and thanks for making it the most-read thing on all of MiamiHerald.com today). Player of the Game: James, for his 26-point second half along with season-ghigh 15 rebounds and team-leading five assists. Downer: Chris Bosh left with a lower abdominal strain and likely will miss Game 2 on Tuesday. Two quick thoughts on Bosh: 1) No the Heat are not better off without him. Not in any way imaginable. That's silly talk. 2) Curb the speculation on how long he might be out. Already hearing doomsaying about missing the rest of the playoffs. Can we wait for a diagnosis, please? ..... Original post: LeBron James collecting the NBA's MVP trophy in a program ceremony today only accentuates the David/Goliath narrative to this second-round series. It seems everybody considers Miami a huge series favorite except the delusional proudly stubborn Pacers. I like the Heat in five games. Miami's offensive firepower will be too much for Indiana to overcome. Interestingly, though, the Pacers' size, physicality and low-post tendencies will call upon Miami's bigs to rise up a bit. You know LeBron and Dywane Wade will do so, but this series spots the beam on Chris Bosh and Udonis Haslem down low. Think we'll see more Joel Anthony, even the return of Ronny Turiaf. Pacers have the intangibles here, the prideful nobody-respects-us incentive. The Heat has the overall talent, though, by a lot. Take talent.      

Fans call it Heat in five: I asked, you answered. How does the Heat-Pacers series end? It was 49.5 percent saying Heat in 5 games, 20.4% in 4, 20.2% in 6, 2.1% in 7, and 7.8% predicting an Indiana win. Poll analysis: A plurality on 5 sounds right, although I see 6 as likelier than a sweep. Also think the 92.2% overall for Miami sounds about right.

PAUL DEE PASSES AWAY: There is a loss today in The U family. Paul Dee, for 15 years the University of Miami's athletic director, through 2008, died Sunday. He had battled heart issues in recent years, and also cancer. I knew Paul (pictured) pretty well and thoroughly respected him both for the job he did at UM and as a kind, good man.

SHOULDN'T WE JUST CALL HIM HEATH HELL?: Giancarlo Stanton's walk-off grand slam mean everybody left happy, but defrocked closer Heath Bell had yet another bad outing and left to loud booing. Marlins in a tough, tough spot here. Team is paying big bucks to Bell, but Ozzie Guillen is not the manager to be influenced by that. Many more failed appearances and Hell Bell could disappear into the middle reliever you hardly see, a man paid lavishly to sit in the pen, and sit, and sit.  

THE LIST: NBA MVP WINNERS: The Heat's LeBron James this week became the eighth player in NBA history to win three MVP awards. The trifectas club:

No.   Player   Team(s)   Span

6   Kareem Abdul-Jabbar   Bucks 3, Lakers 3   1971-80

5   Bill Russell   Celtics   1958-65

5   Michael Jordan   Bulls   1988-98

4   Wilt Chamberlain   Warriors 1, 76ers 3   1960-68

3   Moses Malone   Rockets 2, 76ers 1   1979-83

3   Larry Bird   Celtics   1984-86

3   Magic Johnson   Lakers   1987-90

3   LeBron James   Cavaliers 2, Heat 1   2009-12

Note: Only players with two each: Bob Pettit, Karl Malone, Tim Duncan and Steve Nash.

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Bulletin: End of world threatens Heat-Bulls Game 3! Wait. Never mind; plus statue mania, Udonis, "In loving memory of..." decals & more

[R.I.P. Randy "Macho Man" Savage, pictured in latter days. Note: Main Heat-Bulls playoff post may be found in the blog directly below this latest post. Also, join us at Twitter.com/gregcote. No contracts, no meetings, open bar].

HEAT-BULLS GAME 3 IN GRAVE JEOPARDY AS JUDGMENT DAY THREATENS OBLITERATION OF ENTIRE WORLD INCLUDING NBA PLAYOFFS!: It has come to my attention that life as we know it would cease to exist on Saturday. I'm surprised this has not gotten more attention. We're all just so busy! I saw the billboard pictured along the Turnpike the other day and would have thought the result would have been mass panic, or at least a decent vehicular pileup. Evidently May 21, 2011 -- that's today -- is the day of rapture, Judgment Day, when the world will end in joy for believers swept into Heaven, and in despair for heathens. The world ending Saturday naturally means, of course, there will be no Heat-Bulls Game 3 here Sunday. Ticket holders may seek a full refund ... in hell! The apocalypse also means Miami-Dade has wasted yet more taxpayer money by staging a Tuesday mayoral election that will never come. Further, it means the NFL lockout will never end and the Dolphins' Super Bowl drought will stretch into perpetuity. On a brighter note, Chad Henne will never throw another interception! What will you miss most with Saturday's End of Days? No I mean other than this blog. The May 21 Judgment Day is the brainchild of Family Radio network founder Harold Camping, 89 (pictured). (Why am I imagining God looking at Camping and shaking His head?)  Camping previously predicted Jesus Christ would return to Earth in 1994, and might have been right, had the request ever made it through Jesus' protective phalanx of personal assistants. Cannot confirm, but I hear Camping has a $100 bet on the Heat covering Sunday. You know, just in case. [Update: The world evidently did not end Saturday as scheduled. So Sunday's Heat-Bulls Game 3 is on pending a delayed Rapture].

HONK IF YOU'VE BEEN IMMORTALIZED WITH A STATUE: Former Lakers great Kareem Abdul-Jabbar said he is underappreciated and feels slighted because the team has not erected a statue in his honor outside the Staples Center. Let me ask you something: How big an ego do you have to have to be miffed because your former employer has failed to immortalize you in bronze? The statue trend in sports has gotten absurd. Remember when statues were reserved for Greek gods sculpted in marble and historical figures of great importance in the nation's capital? Now Tim Tebow has a couple of nice years and he's in bronze outside Florida Field. How many accolades do you athletes need, anyway? You are lavishly paid and heroically adored. You have championship parades and keys to the city. You have halls of fame and rings of honor. Now you need a statue, too? Really, athletes? I think the only athlete who deserves a statue is the first one to humbly state that's too much. People who make statues for a living must be behind this trend. I see it spreading beyond sports to other walks of life. I see nothing stopping this trend with the possible exception of Saturday's Armageddon. I believe The Miami Herald should erect a statue of me outside 1 Herald Plaza to give the wandering homeless a gathering point. The salesman who moves the most cars should have a statue outside the dealership. Subjects of statues need not stand the test of time, either. Why wait? The other day I drove past a boy expertly riding a skateboard. In his honor I commissioned the statue you see pictured.

AN ODE TO UDONIS: In today's column I write with unabashed sentiment in praise of the Heat's Udonis Haslem, and what his Wednesday night playoff performance meant to him, not just to his team and to fans. Click on Heart of the Heat to read it. Haslem will make his home playoff debut Sunday night in Game 3. I think the moment he rises from the bench to enter the game for the first time will be a very, very special moment in that arena. [Update: Just got a nice email from Udonis' old coach, Frank Martin, now of Kansas State, saying thanks for the column and praising Haslem].

ON "IN LOVING MEMORY OF..." CAR DECALS: You know the kind I mean? If not an example is pictured. They are proliferating. What do we think? I have mixed feelings. More power to the vehicle owner who believes this expression is either an outlet for his sorrow or a tribute to his departed friend or relative. I suppose there are no rules on grief. Then again (no disrespect meant) isn't a loved one's death a bit of a personal matter to be casually sharing with the stranger behind you at the red light? Almost a too-much-information thing. It's like having a bumper sticker on your car that reads, 'My Daughter Suffers Clinical Depression'. Of course I could be wrong.

LOCAL RADIO RATINGS: Best battle among the four local sports-talk stations is 6-10 a.m. between WQAM's Joe Rose and 790 The Ticket's Jorge Sedano. Rose won the latest ratings book out this week with 3.5/3.6 by age group to Sedano's 3.0/3.0. The two other stations were blips, with Mike & Mike on 940 registering 0.3/0.8 and Armando & The Amigo on 640 showing 0.0/0.3. Look at me I'm like Barry Jackson here with ratings talk! I'm not sure how you get a 0.0, by the way. I think it means your wife used to listen, but then she switched to Sedano.

THE MIND OF MENDENHALL: Steelers running back Rashard Mendenhall previously caused ire by Tweeting in apparent sympathy of Osama bin Laden, blasting those who celebrated his death. Mendenhall's latest Tweet: "Happy Birthday El Hajj Malik El Shabazz #Respect #Salute." That's Malcolm X, of course. Rashard is gradually working his way back into the good graces of the Terrible Towel crowd. I suppose his next Tweet will be to suggest that foreign cars are best and that the American labor movement would be better off without unions.

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Help Dolphins pick their next QB (with poll); plus Spoelstra's challenge, Hanley's struggles, ESPN, Kutcher & more

[Thanks to all who joined our Q&A Chat today. Great response. Do it every Wednesday, 1-2 p.m. Click HERE to join us live, read transcripts or post questions/comments/pithyisms any time. Also join us at Twitter.com/gregcote].

LET'S PLAY DOLPHINS QUARTERBACK ROULETTE!: Hey the Heat have an off-day so what the heck. When the infernal NFL lockout finally ends your Dolphins will pursue a veteran quarterback by trade or free agency to compete with Chad Henne. Jeff Ireland needs your help! OK he might not but give it to him anyway. Take a dip in our poll and tell Jeff which of these perhaps-available QBs you'd most like to see Miami pursue, assuming each might be had for a reasonable price. Then drop a comment saying why.

[Just realized I maybe should have included Brady Quinn in my poll. Oh well. Guessing his Dolfan constituency is rather limited, anyway].

WHAT'S WRONG WITH HANLEY?: It isn't panic time. Let's make that point first. Marlins shortstop Hanley Ramirez has built enough trust capital as a hitter to make his .204 average entering late May something you assume he'll bust out of in a big way. But anybody who watched him go 0-for-6 last night saw a guy really struggling. The low: When the Mets intentionally walked Chris Coghlan to get to Hanley. Amazing. Mike Stanton is coming around. Hanley will do the same, eventually.

IN LEBRON AND D-WADE WE TRUST: Click on Bounce Back for today's column by me on the Heat in the wake of Game 1's blowout loss in Chicago. I write that the closest thing to a guarantee in all of sports is that LeBron James and Dwyane Wade will bounce back big from their subpar combined 33 points. Question is: Will that be enough? James and Wade are the least of Miami's problems in this series. It is all the other stuff -- including Chicago's rebounding edge and how Miami's rotation must somehow offset the Bulls' superior depth -- that is the challenge for coach Erik Spoelstra. I try to eschew "defining moment" talk but this series could be that for Spoelstra as he maneuvers to counter Chicago's advantages. This could be the series that proves Spoelstra is big enough to be the caretaker of this would-be dynasty, or that he isn't.

WEDNESDAY ROUNDUP: Did you see that 48-point show by Dirk Nowitzki for Mavs last night? He now has my all-time-greatest-Dirk vote over actor Dirk Bogarde and Boogie Nights porn star Dirk Diggler. ..... The new uniforms for U.S. women's national soccer team (pictured) remind me of a recurring dream I used to have in which a hot nurse enters my hospital room to address my complaint about an aching groin. Relax I said it was only a dream! ..... The Jets are now offering for sale a Rex Ryan bobblehead doll (pictured). The doll is suitable for collecting and also for smashing with a baseball bat or running over with an SUV. ..... Cavaliers win NBA lottery, secure overall No. 1 draft pick. I'm happy for Cleveland. For Dan Gilbert, not so much. Latest ESPN.com mock draft projects Cavs will select Duke point-guard Kyrie Irving. Other notables: FSU forward Chris Singleton going 12th and BYU's Jimmer Fredette 13th. Heat have no 1R pick. ..... Congrats to former Hurricane Russell Maryland for his induction into College Football Hall of Fame. Was a big, gentle-bear type but a ferocious load at DT. Good guy, too. ..... Congrats as well to Phoenix Suns president Rick Welts for coming out publicly as gay. Every such pronouncement chips away at prejudice. Still waiting on a brave active player, though. ..... For what it's worth, Baseball America projects Marlins' first-round pick (14th overall) in upcoming MLB draft will be UConn center fielder George Springer.

ESPN TELL-ALL BOOK BREAKS OLD GROUND: That's the impression from reading this first excerpt in GQ of the upcoming behind-the-scenes book about ESPN called "Those Guys Have All the Fun." The excerpt focuses on how early anchor Keith Olbermann was both genius-y (to the degree that brilliance and talking about sports isn't an oxymoron) and, well, an egotistical a--hole. I was under the impression both those sides of Keith (pictured mustachioed with Dan Patrick) were pretty well known. I suppose the next excerpt will be an exclusive on how Chris Berman during commercial breaks is profane and sweats a lot?

BULLETIN: HOW "TWO AND A HALF MEN" WILL INTRODUCE KUTCHER: This isn't official, but I am breaking the news on my supposition of how CBS will introduce Ashton Kutcher as Charlie Sheen's replacement on its popular sitcom. You know by now that Sheen partied himself into an abyss, losing (not Winning) his job, and that Kutcher will take his place, but not as the same character. Well here's my exclusive: Kutcher will appear as Sheen-character Charlie Harper's long-lost and heretofore unknown son. You read right. Think about it. The ages work, mid-40s to mid-20s. And the resemblance is there. Note the jawlines. Remember this when it turns out I'm right.

WELCOME, DEAD NEIGHBOR!: It has recently come to my attention that actor Leslie Nielsen has moved into the same Fort Lauderdale cemetery as my mother-in-law and, that, in fact, the late Airplane! and Naked Gun cult-star lies in repose in remarkable proximity. This makes me happy, and I don't know why.

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THE LIST: BEST ALL-ROUND HEAT SEASONS: Top 10 individual Heat seasons based on combined averages for points, rebounds and assists:

Player     Season     Total

1. Dwyane Wade   2008-09   42.7

2. LeBron James   2010-11   41.2

3. Dwyane Wade   2005-06   39.6

3. Dwyane Wade   2006-07   39.6

5. Dwyane Wade   2009-10   37.9

6. Dwyane Wade   2010-11   36.5

7. Dwyane Wade   2004-05   36.1

8. Shaquille O'Neal   2004-05   36.0

9. Alonzo Mourning   1995-96   35.9

10. Dwyane Wade   2007-08   35.7

Total 30-plus seasons: 7--Wade; 4--Mourning; 3--Tim Hardaway; 2--O'Neal; 1--Rony Seikaly, Lamar Odom and James.

New Dolphins Super Bowl odds = sadness; plus Mandich remembered, Bosh suing mother of child, Mendenhall's Tweets & more

[Happy Cinco de Mayo everybody! Join us at Twitter.com/gregcote. We feature live mariachi music and an open bar. On a more serious note, my email in-box is flooding with nice comments on today's column by me off the Jim Mandich celebration (see below). You all are kind. This man's death has really struck a chord with Dolfans].

HERE ARE DOLPHINS' POST-DRAFT SB ODDS BUT, FIRST, TAKE YOUR ANTI-DEPRESSANT: From our friends at Bodog.com, the Dolphins today are established as a 50-1 longshot to be Super Bowl champions in 2011, tied for 22nd in a 32-team league. Miami finds itself behind even former doormats such as the Lions (35-1) and Rams and Raiders (both 40-1). Favorites are Packers and Patriots at 7-1, Steelers 11-1, Chargers 12-1, and Ravens and Stinkin' Jets 14-1. The good news? The lockout ending and regular season starting on time is the pick at minus-500.

CHRIS BOSH ON COURT AND IN COURT, TOO: The Heat's third of the Big 3 is suing suing Allison Mathis (left), mother of his child, and the VH1 reality show, Basketball Wives, on which she appears this season. Read the Hollywood Reporter exclusive here. Bosh's suit claims his ex and the show are infringing his trademark and publicity rights by "commercially exploiting his likeness" and name. Shaquille O'Neal and Dwight Howard have been other stars upset with their ex's connection to that show. Meanwhile TMZ reported Bosh recently married girlfriend Adrienne Nicole Williams (right) but Bosh denies it despite the publication of an apparent marriage certificate. Bosh, in his spare time, is helping Miami kick Boston's a-- in the NBA playoffs.

LEBRON WANTS YOUR TONGUE: Businessman LeBron James and business partner Maverick Carter have founded a company whose first product is called Sheets Energy Strips, which are applied to the tongue. Endorsers will include LeBron, Amare Stoudemire, the Ravens' Ray Rice and hip-hoppers Drake and Pitbull when the product rolls out later this year. James, in his spare time, is the best player in the NBA.

CELTICS: WE WUZ ROBBED!: Yahoo! Sports reports that after the Celtics lost the regular-season finale in Miami on April 10, coaches and players returned to their team bus to find they had been robbed of cash, jewelry and other valuables. Hmm. There was that time during the game when I disappeared for a while. Anybody got an alibi?

REMEMBERING JIM MANDICH: Dolfans arrived in droves to the stadium for last night's "A Celebration of Jim Mandich's Life" hosted by the Dolphins for the popular former player and longtime radio guy who passed away last week due to cancer. Click on A Fond Farewell for my column off the event. It was announced Mandich would be inducted this season onto the team's Honor Roll as a special contributor, encompassing his playing career but also his impact as a broadcaster and in philanthropy. The honor is deserved. [The Mandich family asks that fans wishing to express support or sympathy consider donations to the Dolphins Cycling Challenge benefiting University of Miami Sylvester Comprehensive Cancer Center. Donations may be made online at ridedcc.com, and checks payable to Miami Dolphins Foundation may be mailed to The Mandich Fund, c/o Miami Dolphins Foundation, Sun Life Stadium, 347 Don Shula Dr., Miami Gardens, FL 33056].

BREAKING NEWS!: Evidently neither Osama bin Laden nor Tupac Shakur are really dead, based on this photo (left) that has come to my attention. I am surprised this has not become bigger news, because as you know there are no doctored photos anywhere on the Internet.  

ON RASHARD MENDENHALL'S TWEETS: [Friday update: Champion apparel has cut its endorsement ties with Mendenhall]. The Steelers running back (Twitter name R_Mendenhall) wrote after the death of Osama bin Laden that "We'll never know what really happened," saying he doubted planes could have taken down the Twin Towers on 9/11. He also wrote, "What kind of person celebrates death?", a Tweet that ended with, "We've only heard one side..." Well, Rashard is entitled to his opinion and I'm entitled to say his opinion is idiotic. I'll offer him an excuse. Rashard was 14 when the towers fell. Maybe he wasn't following current events at the time.

WHERE'S SATAN?: Inspired by the it's-about-time death of bin Laden, match the evil-doer to his hideout by clicking here.

DEAR GREG...: "Your blog's OK but would be better if occasionally you would show a photo of Victoria's Secret model Miranda Kerr breastfeeding her baby. Thank you."

THE LIST: No-hitters: Twin Francisco Liriano pitched the first no-hitter of 2011. Ho-hum. No-hitters for me have lost some of their magic. They are not so uncommon. Recall that last year there were six, tying 1990, 1969 and 1915 for the most in one year since 1900. In fact rare is the season that does not have a no-hitter. The last 10 seasons without one:

2005, 2000, 1989, 1985, 1982, 1959, 1949, 1943, 1942 and 1939.

Click back. May be adding more stuff to this new post later...

Why don't Marlins draw decent crowds? (with poll); plus Phillip Merling's arrest, Dennis Rodman--BOOM!, Michael Beasley, Idol blows it & more

Twitter.com/gregcote 

Note to the blogdom: It's Memorial Day in America. Be thankful for somebody. We'll be back with a brand new blogpost Tuesday morning.

Gary Coleman, R.I.P

[Phillip Merling's arrest: (Click on Nowhere To Hide for today's column by me on Merling's arrest). Dolphins young defensive end arrested early Thursday morning for aggravated battery in a domestic dispute involving his pregnant girlfriend. The is the fourth Dolphin arrest this offseason, following the DUI busts of Will Allen and Ronnie Brown and Tony McDaniels' domestic battery. Merling was a high 2nd-round pick in 2008 but has disappointed on the field as well -- one big reason the club drafted Jared Odrick to fill a similar role. Dear Phillip: Have you always been an idiot, or is this a trait you developed over time? More Dolphin news: Team just cut Reggie Torbor].  

[Jarvis Williams, R.I.P.: Condolences to the loved ones and friends of Williams, the former Dolphins safety (1988-93) who passed away unexpectedly at age 45 in Palatka, Fla., of an acute asthma attack. I covered Jarvis and recall him as a solid safety and nice guy. Williams and the more outgoing Louis Oliver were a formidable safety tandem for a lot of seasons here].

THE MARLINS DON'T DRAW BECAUSE...: ...why? Enlighten me. Tell me, because I don't know. The team is fun to watch. They're pretty good and chasing a playoff spot. They have some star power with guys like Hanley Ramirez and Josh Johnson. They have some blue-collar ethic with guys like Cody Ross and Dan Uggla. They have rising young players. The stadium is centrally located. Yet they come home to open a long homestand last night and the crowd is an embarrassing 11,434. Let's figure out why. Take a dip in our poll and drop a comment of elaboration. Will the new stadium be a panacea? I have my doubts. This poll is for Marlins fans -- those who do and don't go to games. That's why "don't care about baseball" is not one of the poll answers. Vote now!

Online Surveys & Market Research

[Blogpoll note: This one has blasted past 1,000 votes, unsually high for a Marlins-related poll. Thanks. And keep 'em coming!]

DENNIS RODMAN--BOOM!: Spy report. A lawyer friend of mind at a table of five was having a business meeting at Capital Grill in Fort Lauderdale Tuesday night when Dennis Rodman was spotted in the restaurant walking past. On a lark Rodman was hailed and called over. He came over -- quite obviously beside himself with liquor or other influences -- sat, stayed for 15 mostly incoherent minutes and kept saying "Boom!" at the end of every sentence. As in, "You my lawyer? How you get me out of this DUI tonight -- BOOM!" I wouldn't say it if it weren't true. Boom!

BEASLEY A DRAFT-DAY GONER?: ESPN's Chris Sheridan said on Jorge Sedano's 790 the Ticket radio show today he thinks the Heat will trade Michael Beasley on draft-day next month. It sounded like a logical guess by Sheridan more than any inside info. I think it's still soon to give up on Beasley's potential. But if Miami does, I would think the Heat would get a starter-caliber player in return or possibly a low-first-round draft pick. Another possibility would be packaging Beasley in a sign-and-trade to get Amare Stoudemire prior to the onset of free agency. 

SUPER BOWL GOES ALL FROZEN TUNDRA: Click on NFL Goes Insane for today's column by me on this. As expected Tuesday the new Giants/Jets stadium in East Rutherford, N.J. was awarded the 2014 Super Bowl, the next one available. Gotham beat out Tampa's bid. The third bidding city, our own Greater Miami (I'm done with "South Florida"), was the first eliminated. I think the NFL was concerned the Dolphins' 746 celebrity part-owners would try to glom too many freebie tickets. Jersey averages 20-some degrees in early February, so we're looking at a frigid, possibly snowbound SB in an open-air stadium. That's brutal, of course. Could make for an interesting or at least bizarre game, visually. Could also make for a miserable SB Week for visiting fans. 

"I'M NO. 88!" (UMM, IS THAT GOOD?): An interesting, brand- new website called Sportsgrid.com (check it out) attempts to quantify popularity of athletes, teams and sports media using various criteria. Well lo and behold your faithful columnist/blogger, little ol' Greg Cote, is (when last I checked, anyway) ranked No. 88 nationally in the "Power Grid" among all writers of sports, both online and print. The top five: Peter King, Bill Simmons, Peter Gammons, Joe Posnanski and Dan Patrick. The criteria is a combination of news buzz, blog buzz, Bing searches, print circulation and online unique hits. I think being 88th sort of sucks, but at least it does rank No. 1 in the South Florida market of the seven local writers ranked among 321 nationally. (How's that for putting a positive spin on being 88th!?)

PLAYS ON WORDS GONE WRONG: CBSSports.com weighs in on the first-place Tampa Bay Rays with the headline, "They're gRAYt!" Gawd. When a pun makes even me groan, you know it's awful.

CALIENDO HATS? CALIENTE!: Comedian Frank Caliendo Tweeted that he was as surprised as anyone to see this scene on TV in Game 4 of the Celtics-Lakers series. Hmm. I might be cynical, but I set it at even money that Frank or someone connected to him knows who these two guys are. Caliendo -- whom I recently saw in Vegas, and he was great -- is big enough to have fans who'd do this, but also small enough to go guerrilla like this for some free national pub.

WHAP A PINATA FOR PAC-MAN: Happy birthday to Pac-Man! The all-time greatest arcade video game (IMHO; well, along with offshoot Ms. Pac-man) turned 30 this week. Fast fact: the game's original Japanese name was Puckman, which derived from the Japanese word paku, meaning "chomp." But American arcade operators worried vandals would alter the letter P to appear like an F, so Pac became the safer substitute for Puck.

MATTEL ROLLS OUT BUSTY BARBIE: Mattel's Barbie series has a new "Back to Basics" line that features female dolls dressed as if ready to go clubbing (or in some cases ready to stand on a street corner winking at cars). One of them (we'll call her Busty Barbie) is pictured right. I only wish I were making this up.

AMERICAN IDOL VOTERS BLOW IT. BIG TIME: With incredulity I report that American Idol voters tonight awarded the season title to Lee DeWyze over the far-more talented Crystal Bowersox. Not that I'm bitter. In a related story, the series Dancing With the Stars crowned its new celebrity champion and it was ... Nicole Scherzinger! Seriously. She is alleged to be a pop singer whose claim to fame came as part of the group Pussycat Dolls. Nicole Scherzinger. Rule of thumb: Nobody with the last name Scherzinger is allowed to be considered a celebrity. I mean, Bowersox is weird. But  Scherzinger!? C'mon.

THE LIST: MARLINS ATTENDANCE: Florida is averaging about 17,300 per game (15th of 16 NL teams), on pace to draw roughly 1.4 million for the year. Top five attendance totals in club history, in millions:

3.065   1993

2.364   1997

1.937   1994

1.853   2005

1.747   1996

[Note: The Chris Bosh vs. Amare Stoudmire for Heat poll continues raging in the post directly below this in the blog].