Greg Cote's Random Evidence of a Cluttered Blog

A farewell to Howard Schnellenberger; plus NFL predix, new D-Wade ad, Heath Bell, radio ratings, Carl Pelini, Newt, Frosty & more

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A FOND FAREWELL, HOWARD SCHNELLENBERGER: Howard Schnellenberger deposited 53 years of football coaching into the past tense Saturday, placing a life's work in the memory box as Florida Atlantic hosted Louisiana-Monroe. The sun set on the stadium as it set on a man's storied career. Of course it would be ending differently had anyone put me in charge of the fairy tale. It would be ending in a bowl game, with Howard triumphantly on the shoulders of players, being carried off the field. Instead it would end in a half-empty campus stadium with another loss, this one 26-0. The coach's sendoff was a 1-11 record. One must step back, though, way back, to take in the full measure of what Schnellenberger has meant to South Florida. In college or pro coaching, I think only Don Shula has meant more. Schnellenberger helped guide the Dolphins to their 1972 Perfect Season, he led the Miami Hurricanes to their watershed 1983 national championship, and he founded from scratch the FAU football program, bequeathing it a brand new stadium borne of his own initiative and persistence -- a stadium that should be renamed in his honor. And those are just the highlights. I'll never forget the snapshot of Schnellenberger drinking in that national title the night of Jan. 2, 1984 at the old Orange Bowl, the then-ubiquitous pipe in his hand, and wife Beverlee at his side, incongruously but somehow appropriately in a full-length mink. They were royalty. They had set the Hurricanes off on their remarkable way. This man was a big part of the best of Dolphins history, then a bigger part of the best of UM history, and finally the only part that mattered in making history in Boca Raton, literally creating a football program from nothing. Pictured is the man in his halcyon UM days at left and in his later FAU years at right, hair gone snow-white but fire still burning. Now he retires at 77, and he has earned the rest. A monumental and well-spent career that mattered is ending. Well done, Howard. Farewell.

Other Collball Week 14 state FBS games: South Florida lost Thursday to No. 23 West Virginia, 30-27. National top-25 matchups: 24-Southern Miss d. 6-Houston, 49-28; 17-Baylor d. 22-Texas, 48-24; 1-LSU d. 14-Georgia, 42-10; 3-Oklahoma State d. 11-Oklahoma, 44-10; 20-Clemson d. 5-Virginia Tech, 38-10; and 15-Wisconsin d. 13-Michigan State, 42-39.

NFL PREDIX: DOLPHINS IN SPOILER MODE: Miami beats Oakland on Sunday, 23-17, playing spoiler to the Raiders' playoff hopes. Dolphins defense has played well enough in this 3-1 spurt to handle Carson Palmer, and I think Miami can control the ball offensively vs. an OAK run-D allowing 5.3 yards per carry. Raiders MLB Rolando McClain is expected to play Sunday despite a Thursday arrest in Alabama for allegedly threatening a man with a pistol and firing a shot near his head while in town to attend his grandfather's funeral. McClain is pictured at right during his arrest, grinning like a fool. Literally. Click on Week 13 Gems for all our latest NFL picks. Also check out my Friday Page column on how three unusual QB situations lend intrigue to an otherwise drama-free playoff chase.

THE NEW DWYANE WADE AD: "This Is Flight," the new D-Wade commercial for Jordan Brand. Impressive. Click here.

MARLINS HIT BIG WITH BELL, SEND MESSAGE: The Miami Marlins now have a premier closer in former Padre Heath Bell, who has had 42, 47 and 43 saves the past three seasons, an all-star each year. Call it an early Christmas present for Josh Johnson and for other starters who can probably count on two or three more victories each from what would have been blown saves. The Closer Formerly Known As Leo Nunez is relegated to an odd bit of club history now with Bell's arrival. The message? Two-fold. 1. Bell is 34, meaning the Marlins want and expect to win now. 2) This formerly penurious franchise is serious about spending, and contending. Are you listening, Jose Reyes? You'd also think a free-agent starter like lefty C.J. Wilson finds the Marlins a lot more enticing with Bell closing than when the position was a question mark. Bonus: Bell (pictured) comes with the good, menacing Closer Beard.

790 THE TICKET IS KICKING WQAM'S A--: I compare the four major South Florida sports-radio stations -- 790 The Ticket, WQAM-560, WINZ-940 and 640-WMEN -- by combining the full day (6 a.m. to 7 p.m.) November ratings for each station's four programs in the most-desirable men 18-34 and men 25-54 demographics. Results: 790 a combined 17.7 rating to QAM's 10.0, 940's 3.5 and 640's 0.8. Here is the breakdown: 6-10 a.m.---790's Jorge Sedano beats QAM's Joe Rose a combined 4.9 to 3.1, with 940's Mike & Mike at 1.6 and 640's Armando & The Amigo at 0.3. 10 a.m.-1 p.m.---790's Colin Cowherd whips QAM's Gino Torretta, 4.6 to 2.5, with 940 and 640 in at 0.3 and 0.0, respectively. 1-3 p.m.---790's The Sports Brothers beat QAM's Michael Irvin, 2.9 to 1.7, with 940 and 640 at 0.8 and 0.1. And 3-7 p.m.---790 Dan Le Batard & Stugotz crush QAM, 5.3 to 2.7, with 940 and 640 at 0.8 and 0.4. Summary: WQAM needs to find a way around or through 790's across the board dominance, which only figures to be enhanced now that the Heat are on again. WINZ-940 has disappointed despite becoming the flagship station of the Dolphins. As for 640, well, based on these numbers...why bother?  

FAU REPLACES HOWARD WITH THE "OTHER" PELINI: Howard Schnellenberger puts the wrap on 53 remarkable years in football coaching Saturday, and now word comes that FAU will replace its retiring program creator with Nebraska defensive coordinator Carl Pelini, 46, the brother of Huskers head coach Bo Pelini. Hmm. Carl (pictured) was last a head coach in 2002 at Fitch High in Austintown, Ohio. Since then he has been a defensive assistant at two small colleges (Minnesota State, Ohio) before being hired at Nebraska by his look-alike younger brother. I'm not saying nepotism, but I do think The Other Pelini has much to prove. The Nebraska bloodline alone makes him a credible hire for FAU, but I can't help but think a major-program defensive coordinator who is highly regarded and seen as head-coach material might land a bit higher than the Owls, no?

NEWT GINGRICH?: Newt Gingrich predicted flatly this week, "I'm going to be the [Republicican presidential] nominee." At that, the sound you heard sweeping the nation was the collective relieved exhale of Barack Obama supporters. In 2008 Obama might well have lost the presidency if John McCain had not boneheadedly chosen Sarah Palin as his running mate. In 2012, Obama will be susceptible to defeat again but for the lack of an electable opponent. Enter Newt. The perception here is that Obama's reelection campaign has no greater hope than Newt Gingrich grand-marshaling a parade of Herman Cain, Michelle Bachman and Rick Perry on the other side.

MAN DRESSED AS FROSTY THE SNOWMAN TERRORIZES SMALL TOWN: Well, I guess that headline about about says it all. Click here for the tale.

Check back. Will be adding more stuff to this latest blogpost...

Parcells on TV sitcom as favor to actor/friend; plus UM Tweetgate, Stan Van Whiny vs. Heat, Jet haters, Gator busts, Ines Sainz, Toddler Bums on Counters & more

STAN VAN WHINY VS. PAT RILEY: This is delicious, this back and forth between the Orlando Magic and Heat in the wake of Pat Riley going all in and winning big with LeBron James and Chris Bosh. What you thought would have died out by now has only escalated. Get this straight: It's one thing for ex-players, fossils like Charles Barkley, to knock LeBron or whatever. It's quite another for other teams to get involved and wear their jealousy on the sleeve like that. It's unprofessional. So Magic coach Stan Van Gundy calls Chris Bosh a lap dog" for following Dwyane Wade, and Magic GM Otis Smith says, "I though [LeBron] was, I guess, more of a competitor." Then Riley fires back at the critics, mentioning the Magic by name. Then Van Whiny, who leads the NBA in can't-let-it-go, fires back (click here) against Riley firing back. Good Lord! Van Grudge even mentioned Riley's supposed "moral judgements" against his brother Jeff during the Knicks-Heat rivalry of the '90s. Geez, let it go, Stan! This isn;t about the Heat's free-agency windfall, of course. This goes back to the way Van Gundy left the Heat 21 games into the 2006 title year, ostensibly to spend more time with his family (!) but clearly because Shaquille O'Neal wanted SVG out and Riley chose Shaq over the coach. Four years later, this is about that. This is about a coach who can't let it go. His name? Stan Van Bitter.

BULLETIN! LEBRON NOT AS LOVED AS BEFORE: Although I look at this headline and I have only one question. Did Van Gundy get to vote more than once? 

TWITTERGATE AT THE U!: OK that's being overly dramatic. But Randy Shannon did bar his players from Twittering and Tweeting. The school announced the ban on Twitter. Seems like an overreaction (would the ban have happened if they'd beaten Ohio State?), but I have no real problem with it. Not sure the Founding Fathers mulling freedom of expression had 140-character Tweets in mind. I think Shannon's ban will catch on. Think NFL teams will be next and hope that starts with the Bengals, because Chad Ochocinco is a dangerous serial Tweeter who must be stopped!

JET-HATERS, REJOICE!: Oh but why we do we dislike Rex Ryan and the Jets so!? Hey time is limited. This is a blog, not a mini-series. But for the short answer, click on H-A-T-E! for a new column by me, online and in Wednesday's pulp edition. And I don't even mention Fireman Ed. "Oh I'm sorry your house burned down, m'am, but our fireman was leading cheers at a football game."

TUNA TAKES A TV TURN: Dolphins personnel chieftain-turned-consultant Bill Parcells, who is to comedy what motor oil is to a ham sandwich, will make a guest appearance this fall on the second season of "Blue Mountain State," Spike TV's bawdy sports/comedy series, we are told. Season debuts Oct. 20. Maybe this is why Tuna is scaling back on his NFL duties. Ironic as it sounds of a hermit-man who eschews media and public utterances, perhaps the TV camera loves him! [Wednesday update: Have a few details for you. Tuna's appearance was filmed in June. In the scen, he takes a phone call from the BMS coach, played by Ed Marinaro. It was Ed who talked Parcells, a friend, into doing the show. I just watched Tuna's scene and I have on word: Emmy].  

MIAMI RECEIVER POWER: Pictured right, the great ex-Cane Michael Irvin and the great current Dolphin Brandon Marshall, at a Monday football watch party at Lucky Strike Lanes. Defensive backs get nervous just looking at this photo.  

GATORS REACH ARREST MILESTONE: I guess congratulations are in order as Florida WR Chris Rainey's bust marks the 30th Gator arrest of the Urban Meyer era. (That's 29 more than have occured at UM under Randy Shannon, for those scoring at home). I'm not sure, but I think when the Gator totals reaches 50 arrests, players should wear a commemorative jersey patch.

NFL FRIDAY-PAGE PICKS: I went an OK 10-6 overall in Week 1, and 6-7-3 vs. the spread. Nailed my Upset of the Week with Texans over Colts ("Aawwk!"), had Ravens upsetting Jets, had 'Skins with points over Cowboys. But other results (notably (Seahawks-Niners) kicked my ass.

FANTASY REPORT. I STINK AGAIN: It hurts to tell you both my teams have begun 0-1. The Bad Newz Fennelz lost 81-68 in my main league. Boner of the Week: I started Beanie Wells, not knowing he was inactive. Lame excuse: It was because I was traveling Saturday. My Lobos lost 136-95 in my smaller, family league, with Ryan Grant's early injury typifying my day.

INES SAINZ PLAYS HER ROLE IN JETS INCIDENT, TOO: You might know by now that Ines Sainz is a hottie attractive reporter for Mexico's TV Azteca, and the victim of unprofessional catcalls et cetera while at Jets camp. The league and team are investigating. Now this is not to condone the Jets. Anybody who watched Rex Ryan and his squad on Hard Knocks can readily imagine the frat-boy mentality at the core of this. But I also must mention that Sainz bears her responsibility in this, too. She has done photo shoots in a bikini, inviting the portrayal of her as a sex symbol. Pictured right is what she wore to Jets camp, a not-unpleasing redefinition of "tight-fitting jeans." Again, this does not condone any Jets who disrespected her. But it explains it a little. [Update: Clinton Portis says here it's normal that a woman reporter would check out a player's package. And then of course immediately apologizes]. [Update II: Ines Sainz is not the TV Azteca reporter who showed up to a Super Bowl press conference in a wedding dress to "propose" to Tom Brady. That was Ines Gomez Mont. Apologies from me. Have a history of mixing up my Ines's]. 

TODDLER BUMS ON COUNTERS: Toddler Bums on Counters (TBC) is a growing national health-risk and annoyance that I am introducing. You have seen it. You're at a Dunkin Donuts (me, this morning) or a Burger King, and the young parent ahead in line sits her toddler on the counter, facing her. Parents: Nobody wants your precious one's diapered ass on a counter where food goes! I believe next time I see this at DD I might have to "accidentally" spill coffee. Hint: It won't be on the innocent toddler.  

SLOW DEATH OF SEARS (CONT'D): Click here for the latest embarrassment for the once-proud retail giant. Somewhere, Roebuck is weeping.

THE LIST: DOLPHINS CELEB-OWNERS' MONEY: Net worth of five celebrities associated with Dolphins as part-owners or business partners, according to website celebritynetworth.com:

Gloria Estefan   $500 million

Jimmy Buffett   $400 million

Jennifer Lopez   $110 million

Serena Williams   $85 million

Venus Williams   $60 million

Note: Today's list brought to you by New York Yankees captain Derek Cheater.

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GREG COTE WORLD: READ columns and blog in The Miami Herald and MiamiHerald.com, including general sports columns, Friday NFL predictions page and Sunday "Random Evidence" notes. FOLLOW on Twitter. WATCH for occasional appearances on ESPN's Outside the Lines and elsewhere. LISTEN on 790 The Ticket's weekly Dolphins pregame show and also Tuesdays around 4:20 p.m. JOIN in live chat every Wednesday noon to 1 p.m. CONTACT at gcote@miamiherald.com, although responses might not be as prompt as you'd like. No phone messages or snail-mail, please.

Sparano kills chance of Brandon Marshall trade; plus Ronnie Brown's arrest (with poll), Erin Andrews dancing, Tiger's latest mea culpa & more

[MARCH MADNESS HAIKU CHALLENGE ending soon! Get entries in now in appropriate post] 

BRANDON MARSHALL DREAM DIES FOR REAL: Today at the NFL owners meetings in Orlando, Tony Sparano said nah-no-thanks to the possibility of a trade for on-the-block Broncos receiver Brandon Marshall. More understandably, he also said nah to aging free agent Terrell Owens. Marshall for the overall No. 12 pick, straight up? I'd do it in a heartbeat. Sparano instead indicated satisfaction with his current group of receivers. OY!

RONNIE BROWN THE LATEST ATHLETE WHO DOESN'T GET IT: I like Ronnie Brown, think he's a good guy, and do not think he stops being a good guy because his previously clean record is now blemished by a DUI arrest. But Brown's arrest is indicative of a troubling pattern in which pro athletes seem to take for granted what a privilege it is to be doing what they do for a living. They are paid millions to A) perform on the field and B) be responsible citizens who do not embarrass their club. It is the latter that they seem to fall short of so often. Click on Crumbling Pedestal for my latest column.

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ERIN ANDREWS WIGGLES HIPS: ESPN sideline reporter Erin Andrews wows crowd on TV's "Dancing With the Stars." Shown here: Photographic evidence that Erin looks pretty good even when not seen nude through a hotel peephole.

TIGER'S LATEST APOLOGY: Speaking of nude women, Tiger's latest mea culpa was a brief 5-minute quickie interview with ESPN. Click here for the video. Not much new or different than in his earlier, lengthy statement. I'm sure this was calculated to maybe lessen the circus atmosphere of his Masters return. Won't work. I predict Tiger at some point will announce that at Augusta he will answer only golf-related questions. That won't work, either.

DONALD THOMAS POCKETS EXTRA 316K: Announced by the NFL today (Tuesday), Miami guard Donald Thomas is the only Dolphin in the top 25 (at No. 7) in the performance-based pay bonus program for the 2009 season, with an added $316,577. The program was established in 2002 to reward players whose playing time most exceeds the relative size of their salary.

DOLPHS PICK UP EXTRA DRAFT PICK: Today in the 5 o'clock hour the NFL awarded the Dolphins one of dozens of compensatory draft picks. Miami's will be the 45th choice in the seventh and last round, or the 252nd pick overall. Make the most of it, Tuna! 

THE LIST: FLORIDA DERBY: I enjoy lists, and starting today will present one in each new blogpost (until I forget to). Today, the 17 Florida Derby winners who have gone on to win a total of 27 Triple Crown races:

1955   Nashua   (Preakness, Belmont)

1956   Needles   (Kentucky Derby)

1958   Tim Tam   (Ky, Pr)

1960   Bally Ache   (Pr)

1961   Carry Back   (Ky, Pr)

1963   Candy Spots   (Pr)

1964   Northern Dancer   (Ky, Pr)

1968   Forward Pass   (Ky, Pr)

1979   Spectacular Bid   (Ky, Pr)

1984   Swale   (Ky, Bel)

1986   Snow Chief   (Pr)

1990   Unbridled   (Ky)

1995   Thunder Gulch   (Ky, Bel)

2001   Monarchos   (Ky)

2003   Empire Maker   (Bel)

2006   Barbaro   (Ky)

2008   Big Brown   (Ky, Pr)

[By the way, the sadness of my ravaged NCAA Tournament bracket may be experienced in the blogpost immediately below this].

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