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August 01, 2013

Watch out: Mr. & Mrs. Tannehill are both locked and loaded; plus UM in preseason poll, Riley Cooper's mess, new Pro Bowl, Dolphins vs. Canes result & more

1) It is THURSDAY, AUGUST 1. Welcome, new month. We've been expecting you. 2) Dear Heat: Please talk LeBron James out of running for NBA players association president, as is rumored. Major distraction. 3) Dear Joe Philbin: Enough with the secrecy! If a player misses a practice, say why. If he has an injury, say what. Simple. 4) In The Previous Blogpost (ITPB): Dolphins-or-UM most wins poll, LeBron makes best-dressed list, collball football odds, Marlins winning back fans?, U.S. soccer, regrettable tats & more. 5) You are invited to join us on Twitter (gregcote), Instagram (Upsetbird) and Vine (Greg Cote).

Canes narrowly miss preseason Top 25: Miami Hurricanes have second-most among "others receiving votes" just outside USA Today/Coaches preseason football poll, tantamount to a No. 27 opening rank for UM. Top three are Alabama-Ohio State-Oregon, with Florida 10th and Florida State 12th. That all but assures the Canes are likely to be ranked at 1-0 after if they beat FAU on Aug. 30.

DOLPHINS' LEFT TACKLE BETTER DO HIS JOB. THE TANNEHILLS ARE ARMED: Dolphins left tackle Jonathan Martin, protector of Ryan Tannehill's blind side, had better do his job this season because 1aa1jmart 1aa1laurenshootsLauren Tannehill has been taking shooting lessons at a gun range and she does not want her husband's pretty face rearranged or his body damaged. Martin is pictured left, hopefully not raising his arms in surrender because he senses Lauren (right) is aiming at him. (Ryan also has been to the range; see below. His-and-her guns, ain't it cute!) Left tackle is one of the most important positions on the field, and it is the single-biggest Dolphins concern 1aa1laurenshoots2as the preseason approaches. I explore fully in today's latest column; click on The Problem That Is Left to read. Miami wanted to re-sign Jake Long, but didn't. Tried to trade for Branden Albert, but didn't. Could have drafted Lane Johnson, but didn't. Tried to sign Bryant McKinnie, but didn't. What's left to protect Tannehill's blind side is the second-year guy Martin, whose spotty training camp has not inspired confidence. I see an improved Dolphins team, but what I see missing is a quality left tackle, and that's big.

RILEY COOPER'S BIG MESS: Riley Cooper is a white wide receiver in the NFL. That alone makes him somewhat unusual. So does this: A YouTube video that surfaced yesterday (click here) in which the fourth- 1aa1cooperryear Eagle threatens to "fight every [N-word] here" while at a Kenny Chesney concert. Riley (pictured), who admits he'd been drinking, was angry because a security guard (who was black) would not let him backstage. Riley has since been fined by his team and apologized profusely, saying he was "ashamed and disgusted" at himself. I'll be curious about the repercussions. Paula Deen lost her Food Network job over revelations she'd used the N-word, and Cooper, unlike Paula, operates in a world where most of his coworkers -- teammates and opponents -- are African-American. Will he survive this? Cooper's contrition seems genuine, but I sure wouldn't want to be him today.

NFL GIVES PRO BOWL FACELIFT WITH AWFUL NEW FORMAT: Everybody including the NFL knew the AFC vs. NFC Pro Bowl was awful and of negligible interest, so the all-star game has a brand new format 1aa1newpbthat is quite ridiculous: A fantasy-like "draft" to fill each roster. Gone is the conference vs. conference format. Now, the fan vote will name the best players regardless; for example, of six QBs, four or five might be from one conference. Teams will be picked in a televised Jan. 22 draft conducted by honorary captains Jerry Rice and Deion Sanders, the two leading vote-getters and two NFL.com fantasy-league champs. The newly reconstituted Pro Bowl will air Jan. 26 from Hawaiii and will continue to be not watched in droves.

Poll result: Expectations higher for Canes than for Dolphins: We asked whether you thought the Dolphins or Hurricanes would win more games this season, and it was 62.7 percent for UM vs. 28.4% for the Dolphins. The other 8.9% said the victory totals would be the same.

Click back. Will be updating/adding to this latest blogpost as sure as you're sitting there pretending to work...


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from a teammate:


Actually the pro bowl gets very high ratings. Higher than game 7 Heat-Pacers, rounds 1-3 of the masters, all 4 rounds of the US Open and so forth. Makes no sense but its true.

Sunday Morning Sex

Upon hearing that her elderly grandfather had just passed away, Katie went straight to her grandparent's house to visit her 95 year-old grandmother and comfort her.
When she asked how her grandfather had died, her grandmother replied, "He had a heart attack while we were making love on Sunday morning."
Horrified, Katie told her grandmother that 2 people nearly 100 years old having sex would surely be asking for trouble.
"Oh no, my dear," replied granny. "Many years ago, realizing our advanced age, we figured out the best time to do it was when the church bells would start to ring. It was just the right rhythm. Nice and slow and even. Nothing too strenuous, simply in on the Ding and out on the Dong."
She paused to wipe away a tear, and continued,
"He'd still be alive if the ice cream truck hadn't come along."

Seriously how can Cote write such drivel as the Pro bowl will not be watched the ratings are consistently very high.

Research please Greg don't just mail it in bro.

Fellas, Tom has been right concerning the Fins on many occasions. All I'm saying is when most of us are prematurely optimistic (what a FAN is) he has been the turd in the punch bowl so to speak. Sorry Tom, I don't think of you as poo but the phrase fits. Concerns with Dion Jordan & Left Tackle Martin look to be legit.
bright side: DE Olivier Vernon has made great strides since last season ended and will start opposite of Cameron Wake.
Left Tackle......?? not looking great right now.
LT Martin, LG Incognito, C Pouncey, RG Jerry, Samuda, Thomas, Louis, RT Tyson Clabo.
Sources say Samuda has stepped in as injured Jerry's replacement. I want to know how close Louis is to playing healthy. He was supposed to be a solid RG in a zone blocking scheme. Louis was Bears best lineman.
trade #2 pick to Chiefs and obtain LT Brandon Albert?
Move Martin to RG. Adding this one guy makes a sketchy OL look big, tough & formidable.
If the team thinks it's in a flexible spot to trade up to #3 overall for a situational pass rusher-project, it can part ways with a #2 for a guy who is a proven LT.

OC, Are you going to around Austin August 15, 16? My plan is to be there for 3 days, Thurs, Fri, Sat.... Drive 13 hrs Sunday to Colorado Springs so drinking Sat night is logistically bad. Everything is subject to change but I do forsee myself bar hopping with wife & other couple in tow on 6th st Thurs or Fri (most likely) evening. 7 - 10 pm, other couple are morning people and wouldn't expect them out paste curfew. Peace

Thank you Jimbo. I have never been called a turd before and felt good about it. So thanks, I take it as a compliment. My point is not to rain on the optimism of fans. I want to be optimistic too. But when I see rank incompetence it makes me go ballistic.

You make some excellent points and suggestions concerning the OL. I have made similar suggestions. All the good additions this year could go to waste if the OL plays as poorly this year as it did last year. And quite frankly there is nothing to suggest they will be better.

Also your point about using the #3 overall pick on a situational player is well-taken. I agree with you 100%.

lol. Jimbo you're a sic man sir. The very idea of two corpses having sex to rhythmic church bellz makes the room start spinning...

Oh yeah Dolphinz 6-10. Jeggey getz a raise and 10 year contract extension courtesy of Alfred E Newman....

Yeah Jeggey and Jeffey get a raise...

Then again maybe when opposition startz ragging on Dolphin playerz for their GAY helmutz it might just put some liquid heat in their jockstrapz. They might actually win 7 gamez...

Dukito....you of little faith.

"Then again maybe when opposition startz ragging on Dolphin playerz for their GAY helmutz it might just put some liquid heat in their jockstrapz."

Shouldn't that have been, "Then again maybe when oppozition ztartz ragging on Dolphin playaz for their GAY helmutz it might juzt put zome liquid heat in their jockztrapz."?

No offense FZ. I just don't have much faith in the owner and GM. Hope I'm proven stupid on this point but until then well...

Dukey, How dare you not have faith in FZs Son....
Shame on you......

I have faith in you anti christ& in your female studentzzz. Alwayz have...

So I see another Gatar playa put his foot in his mouth..hehe

The infidels ( non believer's ) on the blog will soon see the light , my son will lead us to the promised land, down with the evil wizard of the New England north!

Deliverance is coming soon my " hermanos " !!!! Rejoice !!!

Ok, ok...uuhhmm , I'm back to normal now.

Hmmm. Howz 'bout just sticking to coffee...


Hey Cote where's my attribution?

I've written this exact same story the past few weeks here including the reference to the risky use of Dion Jordan on special teams. Come on Greg give credit where credit is due.


I just finished prepping the OC/CA pad and handed the keys to the realtor to show for lease. Got a couple of items on order/still to do (gazebo replacement tarp, ac maint.)before heading back to Austin. I should be back in around 10 days. I'll keep you posted.

Well Tom that is exactly the type of thing that can undermine ones faith in this chronically unproven team. Failure to make LT more of a priority as well as other questionable calls including Dion Jordan's special teams play among them. These decisions just seem too dumb to be believed...

Eggzactly dukester...."these decisions just seem too dumb to be believed..." (dukey 8/1/2013 5:51PM).

Hey Cote you note the attribution.

Relax dukemeister,

Just read a bunch of tweets from James Walker (ESPN AFC east blog). He was tweeting coverage of today's practice wrote that Dion Jordan "was a beast today." Would have sacked Tannehill on two occasions, pushed both tackles back (Martin, Clavo). That's good and bad. Good that he seems to be that good and bad in that Martin is being outmatched.

Either Jordan is the real deal and slated towards big sack numbers as a rook, or Martin sucks at LT. Anyone care to guess which of the two?

James Walker?????
Is this the guy????


No, not that guy. That JW is a real AH. I once ran into that guy decades ago at a local gym and I quipped something like - "dude! Best not be pumping up too much, you may bulk up and lose your TV persona." Christ, you should have heard all the defensive crap he spouted off back to me. Dude can tell a joke, but can't take one. AH!

OC - that's why I didn't get all antsy in my pantsy over UM alum Olivier Vernon dominating Martin.

Wait until the real fake games start and we'll see what's what.

I don't know. This keeps up and Jimbo's suggestion might not be a bad one. Moving Martin over to RG and negotiating a Brandon Albert for a #2 might not be a bad idea.

If he does not dramatically improve, Tannehill's wife may just shoot him.

Although in my own perverse way, if Martin remains the turnstile he appears to be, I as owner would insist that Ireland suit up and defend against charging behemoths.

I'm reminded of that dude in Clockwork Orange who so enjoyed blasting lovely, lovely Ludwig while Alec was screaming in pain, then jumping out the window.

I'm sure you guys remember that famous oil fire fighting guy Red Adair. He was this larger than life figure who used to be called in to put out the biggest oil fires in the world, well even Red turned down some jobs. When that happened they always called in Red Gonzalez. Red Gonzales would only take the toughest jobs as long as he could drive his 1952 Chevy with his boys from Tijuana to where the fire was. One day Red Adair's boys had failed at putting out a fire in Bakersfield and they called in Gonzalez and his boys. They drove all the way from TJ at 90 miles an hour and when they got to the site they drove right by Red Adair and crashed the 52 Chevy into the well head. Gonzalez and about ten other Mexicans got out of the car and started stomping on the fire with their shoes and after about 15 minutes they had the fire out. Red Adair couldn't believe what he had just seen and asked Gonzalez if that's how he always put out fires and Gonzalez told him, "Oh hell no, Mister, if de brakes had worked on de Chevy we would be sitting right here with you gringos watching de damn fire."

Only someone dead from the neck up is convinced at this point that Martin is the real deal at LT. Now I'm not saying he's not, I'm just saying the evidence strongly suggests otherwise. And if I can see it, why can't our nitwit SFB GM see it?

I see another Florida Gator has distinguished himself in the NFL. Damn if I didn't know better I would have bet a shit load that Ireland was a Gator.

Tom, You know FZB will be chiming in soon to call you a ass-wipe...

well anti- if you read my post you know what I think.

Mr. Gonzalez you should have bought yourself the brakes with my fatherz personal guarantee, Callahan brakes!

There's no way the Chiefs are going to trade Albert now that training camp has started, that ship sailed months ago. Honestly, I doubt they'd take a #1 for him, most teams aren't comfortable with glaring holes at tackle.

### Olivier Vernon had three sacks against Jonathan Martin in team drills and has had the better of their matchup in camp. But Martin didn’t allow a sack against Dion Jordan, who had two against him on Wednesday.

“I think it’s going pretty well,” Martin said of his move back to left tackle.

Anti...usually my " asswipe " comment is reserved for Kazaam

Tommy-Son is a nice guy, at least he doesn't root against the Dolphins to lose like Kazy does.

Of course he's wrong about my son....

on the O Line and LT ...you boys need to remember we're talking about practice, not a game, not a game.....practice.

We don't need Fat Albert from KC...

You know how I feel about offensive line talk FZ unless it's my boy Richie that's dude is crazy!

Jon Martin played a bunch of games last year FZB, you just weren't watching.


Maybe I was watching with my homer-colored glasses..

All I know is we haven't even played any fake games yet...give it some time ...when everything is live we'll know more...if he is a disaster out there then I say yes make a move but is too early to hit the panic button.

FZB my deluded good friend, as Kaz correctly notes, it's too ffing late to make a move. If Martin sucks, we're stuck with sucks for the entire season. Thanks of course to your nitwit son.

On the bright side, if the OL does suck we know we won't have to deal with that idiot as our GM for another year. So we have that going for us. And if the OL does not suck, I really think we're going to be very good this year. BUT THAT'S A BIG IF.....A VERY BIG IF!

HET HEY HEY IT'S ME & I ain't leavin' KC to answer alot of questionz 'bout whether my mother is still a crackwhore or not...

Patience my young Jedi's , patience...everything will be reviled at the right time.


Ze Grammar NAZI is pointing out that Ireland is already "reviled" thus it is the right time.

I have never seen a bigger tempest in a teapot than this Riley Cooper business.

Good mouning guys !!!!

Hehe, ze Nazi grammar politzia got me, sorry guys sometimes mi "ingles" gets a little muddle but U guys get the gest of it, si?


Today I don't wanna hear any negativity from any of you, nothing negative about our LT, injuries, about Ireland , or that we haven't made the playoffs since the dawn of time or that time is running out on some of U's ( not me baby, I haven't even made 60 yet hehe).

You all been put on notice.

Wood's-Ter, I could not agree with you more on this Riley Cooper deal...I understand the sensitivity of the " N " for african americans but the only reason this has gotten so much play from the media is because of the race angle .

Sure I get it the guy made a mistake but gezz is not the end of the world either, blacks use the " N " word on each other all the time, young white teen's use it on each other all the time too ...but no one says chit about it because it doesn't have the race angle .

I wonder if a black person calls a white one a cracker , would there be such an outrage?

Me and the missus are going to " Los Marlins " game tonight, taking grandson number two to the game....Fernandez is pitching ..

Should be fun.

This is funny...now they are making Riley Cooper take " sensitivity " classes or counseling.

Hello McFly ?... Just don't call anyone a nigger, specially blacks.

Anyone who uses that word in public deserves what he or she gets. Forget the racial insensitivity of the word. The lamestream media are always looking for someone to demonize regarding race. Zimmerman is a prime example. If you use that word in public and get caught on camera you become the demon of the month. It drives ratings. The lamestream media could care less about race relations. They're selling advertising and they will grind you up and spit you out to sell the ads.

If you care about your reputation and ability to earn a living (remember Paula Dean) just don't use the N-word. Anyways it really is a disgusting word and it's irrelevant whether blacks use it regularly or not. Non-blacks use it in a different context.

Hey FZB in the spirit of "positivo Friday" I wanted to let you know that I feel really good about the Dolphins chances of not losing a game today. And I doubt that Ireland will do any more damage to the team than he has already done.

I gotta admit this "positivo" shit feels really good!

If Martin starts at left tackle the clock is ticking against Tannehill. No wonder the team resigned Matt Moore.
On the bright side I'm hearing the Dolphins Defense will be a top 5 group..........

Predictions? I'm leaning in at 10-6 but won't make it official until preseason is over.

Preseason prediction.... 2-3

Cote ...you had it right the first time, not "if," but when the they will be 1-0. This PC stuff of today is gettin real annoying!

Correction for terrible typing...."when the U beats FAU they will be....."

you guys are stressing waaaaaaaay too much about J Martin, chill a little bit, smoke'em if you got'em.

slow day today eh guys?

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