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March 18, 2013

8th annual March Madness Haiku Challenge: Entries now closed. Winner announced later today; plus Heat, Dolphins, Canes, tennis & more

[1) It is WEDNESDAY, MARCH 20. No surprise that Jake Long is a former Dolphin, now a St. Louis Ram. A few seasons of living up to the No. 1 billing, then a pretty fast decline. 2) In The Previous Blogpost (ITPB): Miami's Basketpalooza! Canes win ACC title, Heat win 22nd straight, NCAA Selection Sunday. 3) Join us on Twitter @agregcote.

* Heat streak at 23 after win in Boston: Enormously impressive 105-103 Miami win for 23rd straight, now alone for second-longest streak in NBA history, with LeBron James leading the way with 37. Trying to make it 24 tonight in Cleveland.

1aa1dologo* Dolphins' new logo?: Pictured is the likeliest evidence I have yet seen of the Dolphins' new logo to be unveiled next month. In other Dolphin news, Miami and Dallas will kick off 2013 NFL preseason Aug. 4 in annual Hall of Fame Game in Canton, O. And club has been given extra 5th- and 7th-round compensatory draft picks for last year's free-agent departures of Chad Henne, Will Allen and Kendall Langford.

* Hurricanes 7th-best national-title odds: Miami is 14-to-1 to win NCAA national championship, says new Bovada odds. Favorite Louisville at 19-4. Florida Gators 7-1.

* UM women in Big Dance, too: No. 8 seed Miami opens Sunday vs. No. 9 Iowa in women's NCAA's.

* Tennis, anyone?: Annual ATP/WTA event on Key Biscayne has begun. Click on Paradise Found for my latest column, an ode to the Tennis Center of Crandon Park, the oasis on the island.


PRIZE-LIST REVEALED: Our new Haiku champion -- to be chosen on Wednesday -- will get his or her choice of the following three prizes: A Miami Herald commemorative coffee-table book celebrating the Heat's 2012 championship ..... a 2013 Dolphins media guide (available in August) ..... or an opportunity to sit in for a Tuesday radio segment on the air with Dan Le Batard, Stugotz and myself on 790 the Ticket/FM 104.3. Enter now! Time running out...


FREE YOUR INNER POET. ENTER HAIKU CHALLENGE NOW: This is the official entry point for our blog's eighth annual March Madness Haiku Challenge. The contest illogically endures despite sometimes tepid response owing to too few inspired souls able to see and appreciate the natural marriage of American 1aa1haikuchcollege basketball mania and Japanese short-form poetry. I call this a "boutique" contest due to most folks running scared from haiku as if it were a rabid dog chasing them. In other words your odds of winning aren't bad should you dare to delve. Contest rules? Very simple:

1aa1haiku131. Haikus must in some way be about the NCAA Tournament or NIT (men's or women's, Miami-themed or national, serious or funny) and must be in haiku form, or 17 syllables. Classic 5-7-5 metrical phrasing preferred but not required, and rhyme-or-no-rhyme is your call, but only entries of exactly 17 syllables will be considered. An example of haiku is shown.

2. Enter as many times as you like in the Comments section here, but only one entry per comment, please! Haikus must be entered as a comment here in this blogpost to be considered. In the case of similar haikus, favored status goes to first posted.

There will be a prize for the best, most original or inventive haiku; see above for the three choices. Enter soon because we plan to shut off entries and announce a winner Wednesday.

The defending 2012 Haiku Challenge champion is Frydad4. Winning entry: "My bracket's busted * Like Sara in accounting * Who might win it all." The judges noted the 5-7-5 phrasing, enjoyed the cheeky yet ambiguous reference to Sara's bosom and also liked the nod to office pools.

1aa1haiku3 1aa1haikujapOur CHAMPIONS ROLL CALL: 2012--Frydad4; 2011--OC Dolphin; 2010--I Am Kazaam; 2009--r.duke; 2008--Tococane; 2007--Bruce and David Tucker (tie); and 2006--Kurt from Boca.

Now, don't be scared. Have fun. Ready ... set ...haiku!


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Miami, home of roundball
Heat, second to none
Canes, joining the fun

or if you prefer:

Miami, home to roundball
Heat, second to none
Canes, joining the fun

The one month a year
My wife says take the couch, and
My plans are unchanged

Neon uniforms
more color than in all OZ
novice picking Flash

The one month a year
My wife says take the couch, and
My plans are unchanged

Spring training, conclave,
And now the storied tourney
Bless this hallowed month

all right, all right,

the tournament is here
we really have no fear
the Cuban Don is here.

Love this time of year
Florida Gulf Coast you say?
Round of beers please here

drop question mark.

and this one is non basketball related.

you haters are blind
you haters are rude
when is all said and done
my Jeffy will shine through

I win !!!

Hara-Kiri !!!!

Naples Jack is getting worried
now that Brady's getting old
soon the Dolphins will take over
and Beli-cheat will be no more

he he

or keep question mark.

Six four down to one
Who survives, who is done
When over, back to work, hon

Dudes- fairly easy
Just seventeen syllables
Can you hang with me

Miami dancing
Onto Atlanta we go
One more net to cut!

Christian Laettner rules
Let the haters be fools
Celts bust streak tonight

For March poetry,
Then you just tune in nightly.
Dicky V baby!

Leftovers are gone
We needed a left tackle
Dolfans will suffer

Tom a serious question I think Miami will be a 10 or 11 win team next year and make the playoffs where do you think they will finish?

Yep, you're absolutely right, Sean. Thanks for pointing that out. I didn't remove the "when" of that version.

Six four, down to one
Who survives, who is done
Over, back to work, hon

I'm going to have to go against my promise not to insert a political one. Sorry, can't help it.

Sequestration forces cuts
but not my brackets
says hoopster in chief


I can almost guarantee you that Tommy boy will say the Fins will be lucky to win 5 games next year...

negativo Tom keeps saying
that the Fins have not improved
surprised he will be
after free agency and the
draft is done.

and man, you guys suck, I win, hands down

Selection Sunday
Like watching it from home
Few more weeks of Dickie's dome

FZB and Ireland
sitting on a tree
K I S S I...

Selection Sunday
I like watching it from home
Weeks of Dickie's dome

that doesn't make any sense OC, lol

nothing wrong about kissing another man, hehe

Big Baby

Anywhere between 7-9 and 9-7. 10 wins is not out of the realm of possibility, but unlikely. I just don't see where we've gotten that much better. Nice WR and TE additions but losses at LT, RB and CB offset those. The LB addition is a wash as far as I'm concerned. Unless we make some major pickups I'm just not feeling it. But I can be swayed.

Here is my early (not official) prediction

2 losses to NE
Win 3 of 4 against Bills and Jets

Other Losses
Baltimore, Cincinnati, Atlanta, Pittsburgh, New Orleans, Indianapolis

Other Wins

Carolina, San Diego, Tampa Bay, Cleveland

Just my 2 cents but I just don't see 10 wins in this schedule for this team.


translation, please...

Ok thanks for answering I don't think some of those teams you have us losing to are any good anymore and that includes Baltimore, Pitt and New Orleans I can see all three of them missing the playoffs this season the schedule isn't that tough lots of sub .500 teams.

NE isn't winning 2 this year that streak ends.

I don't think we play the Colts this year.


you spekado chink?


soooo you think we should have kept both Long and Sean Smith?..


by the middle of the year Lamar Miller will make you forget that Reggie Bush was here.


let me translate your mandarin post.

it says and I quote,

I'm a fool for doubting my buddy FZB and his son Jeffy, I repent for my past sins and I'm on board with all his decisions...oh yeah, Kaz is an ass wipe.

Tom- You have to understand something. FZB, and Big Baby think that they are the only team that has improved. Nobody else ever improves. Rothsb,Brees, and Flacco could beat the dolphins with one hand tied behind there back.

FZB, it's Japanese. Haiku, get it? Original artform is one line. Cut and paste translation from this site:


Pitt and Baltimore are a mess right now Saints sucked last year their defense is awful bring them all on.

Canes win ACC
Now have a number two seed
Time to go dancing

Canes win ACC
They will lose in second round

Naples and Tom, though I'm not in the camp that expects to go undefeated this next year, I'm also cognizant that at some point pretty much every franchise breaks through periods mired in mediocrity.

The 49rs, for example, were a combined 46-82 for eight years, between 2003 and 2010, before finishing 13-3 and 11-4-1 the last two years.

Turnarounds almost always catch everyone by surprise, which is not unusual, given that most people tend to hold trends as gospel.

9-7, in a tie with the Pats, with both NY and Buf below .500 would not surprise me at all.

It could be heaven
Win it all, forget about
Emmert and Nevin

Miami winning,
Larranaga is grinning,
Cote Bassooning.

Coach Larranaga
Took GM to Final Four
Has Canes wanting more

Larkin to Kadji.
He's wide open for the three.
It's good! Miami!

Naples and Tom,

Please explain to this old boy how the Ravens, the Steelers and the Patriots are better since the season ended?.

The Ravens have lost half of their team, the Steelers lost Wallace and Harrison and the Pats lost only the best slot receiver in football.

"There once was a Man
From Nantuckit
Whos Dick was so long
He could suck it.
He said with a grin
While wiping his chin
If my ear was a
cuunt I could F@ck-it..
Not really a Hai-ku, But F@ck-it..

Big Baby

2013 Miami Schedule


Says here we play the Colts.

You may be right that Baltimore, Pitt and New Orleans are no longer any good, but both of those teams have history on their side. We don't. I hope you are right.

FZB my good friend, you act as if I'm the enemy. I'm not. Are Baltimore, Pitt and New Orleans than last year? That's really irrelevant. The question is are they better than Miami. I think yes. All three have MUCH better QBs than Miami's QB and history says the team with the best QB generally (not always) wins. So I stand by my prediction (which I will reevaluate after the preseason) that Miami will lose those three games as well as the two to New England.

What could alter my prediction. Additional free agent signings or a particularly good draft.

But WTF do I know, I'm just a fan. So I could be wrong.

I hate to say it but can you say 7 And 9 Again??
To many changes in personel, You guys KNOW IT TAKES AT LEAST 2 SEASONS for a team to "Gel"...
Will at least that's what I'll be saying to friends on Jan 5 2014 Iam sure..

Haiku entry:

Balls flung through the air
Doctors rushing here and there
Twisted testes everywhere.

Sky, That might just win.


You could be right but you also could be wrong, how's that for taking a stance?...I should be a politician.

Hara-kiri time !!!!!!

Negativos will always say
That the Fins are miles away
But soon they will realize
That the Fish will break away !

Ha, another winner, I win again.

Hey Anti ,

Any big rocks out there that we should be concerned about?

By the way Anti,

Sofia sure does have nice tatas..

Basketball riches,
For our fair weather city.
Bandwagons roll on.

Nevermind, redsky wins.

Ok Guys,I'am off to Chile(The country), I'll be popping in time to time, You all play fair, I dont want to come back to aurguing and tempertantrums, or NO SOUP FOR YOU.
(Oh yeah, The great thing is it's paid for, not really a Vacation but really work related, But paid for non-the-less..) Oh yeah GO CANES..
That Donna Shalala is doing a fine job over there...(I'am sure Woodcocks head just exploded

Tom- You hit the nail right on the head. The NFL is a QB driven league. Anybody that will say that Tannah is a better Qb then whats in pitts, baltimore, NE, Colts, Bengals, atlanta, is not being honest. I am not saying the dolphins lose these games, but the odds are not in there favor.

FZB, I dont do NEAR(Near earth- Astroid) Tracking, My team is studing Gamma Ray Burst(Which brings me to Chile) To use there telescopes) But my Boys in NEAR say we're ok for the next 6 months, Since the rock in Russia there spending a great deal of time researching anything bigger then 30 meters(About 49 feet), Nothing on the horiozon there, but the say the rock that hits us will be coming from the direction of the sun(Which they wont be able to see), So who knows??, anywhooo, long flight and drive tommarow, I'll stick around for anothr hour but I Bid you all a goodnight..


City Of Kings
Town Of Champions
District Of Winning

Haiku Contest

Without The Dashi

Is No Contest

Oye Anti,

Those Chilean muchachas are hot, you know it can get pretty cold in that desert you're going to..

Have a great trip, stay safe.

Hey Jack let me make on thing perfectly clear......I hate the Patriots and I hope the Fish beat the #$%^ out of them both games. I also can't wait for Tom Brady to retire so that we can all see just how mediocre Belicheat is without the best QB ever. just sayin.

FZB, It's my third trip there, Talk about "Complete Dessalation" This might be the closest to nothing on earth, When I say there's nothing, I'am saying the closest thing to any people are about 50 miles away, I mean there is nothing, No trees no animals NOTHING...Cant wait to get there though, The VLT Rocks...PEACE BEATCHES..lol

In case anyone is interested, the NFL awarded the Dolphins a pick at the end of the fifth round and another one in the 7th..we now have 11 picks total

Picks are only a plus if you know what to do with them.

Well, looks like Tiger has a new blonde hottie, Alpine skier Lindsey Vonn. I know what you're all thinking - he likes the way she goes down the slope.



I actually heard it's how she gets around the pole that attracted Tiger. Well that and she's blond.

Canes go a dancing.
The Heat keep on advancing.
Fans more than glancing!

Sold out arenas.
Two teams atop the standings.
We'll not soon be landing!

Won ACC, check.
Won ACC tournament.
Now, March through Madness.

First conference won,
then ACC Tourney done.
Now some March Madness fun!

Kaz, Anti, you guys and the host of this testosterone filled blog were my haiku inspiration! Glad you enjoyed!

Sixty four entries
All start shooting twos and threes
Refs deaf to their pleas.

Battier's basketball IQ can only be seen by the VLT.

Hate that they won with hero ball, LeBron made his shot. Pierce missed his. Both teams got carried away by the stage, two bad plays.

Glad the streak didn't end with the Celtics, hope it ends soon. Don't care about that record and the Heat shouldn't either.

OC - just out of curiosity, do you still think Bynum was a better player than Howard? Bynum's knee is destroyed so there's no wrong answer, we'll never know. You've seen more of both players than I have at this point.

Kazaam, Congrats - the Heat have gotten to that point you had hoped , I knew you'd be up the bliog. First NBA game I've seen since since last season; albeit I started watching mid-way in the 4th and found myself rooting hard. Now 2nd in all time streaks, still got a ways to go to catch Goodrich, West,etc. But I'll be following. Maybe next year, 82-0 or thereabouts.

I did not NBA had instant replay. That's cool. Though the last call did not get overturned, the prior one importantly had. FIFA needs to pay attention.

Shane Battier
Off of Paul Pierce's fat ass
Heat streak continues

Kazaam, I missed your earlier post while typing mine. I am rooting for the record for the home tram. Makes the whole thing more exciting. I thought you'd be up for it too. The only record I don't want seeing beinh broken is the 72 Phins.

Middle Tennessee
Sounds like somewhere not to go
You're forewarned Memphis

Kaz, Bynum is a mess. Has an unhealthy dose of Odenitis. His only hope is that he's still young enough to establish some sort of career, but Phili ought to be pissed. Bottom line: Kobe was right all along.

Spo Is Slow
Spo Is Fast
Spo Bends over And Kicks His Ass

Not A Haiku But Still Works For Dashi

Tracy McGrady Didn't Need $100 Million Dollar Players To Win 22 Straight. He Didn't Even Need Yao Healthy!!

Yes, The Heat Shall Win 30+ Straight!! They Have The Team!!

And They Should've Went 72-10!! They Have The Players!!

But Agreed With A Lot Of People. Still Not That Impressed!! Win 18 Straight In The Playoff's!!

The Heat Are Playing!! How I Always Expected Them To Play!!

Spo Finally Has The Heat Playing To Their Potential!!

Now Let's See If He Can Make Them Overachieve!! The Mark Of A Good Coach!!

Wow, I wish I would have seen that game. I was at a restaurant and looked up at the TV and they were down by 4 with 4 minutes to play. Just got home and saw that they won by "2 points!" Must have been one exiting game.

No surprise
The Canes are in "The Tourney"
Just sit back and enjoy the journey.

So did the Jason Terry
The latter is not feeling very merry

Lebron's on a streak
So was Wilt "The Stilt"
St.Patties is Tuesday cuz Terry got KILT!

this one is for baby..

you are wrong AGAIN
you must stop your predictions


how many times babe
will miami break your heart
and crush the celtics?

i usually agree with you, but now you sound like an idiot.
you're not impressed?
the numbers wade and lebron are putting up right now are better than at any time in their careers, their efficiency ratings and shooting percentages are at career highs, this streak is the 2nd longest IN THE HISTORY OF THE NBA, AND it's the LONGEST for any defending champion.
not impressed? wow..

here's one for the haters:

the loser's lament
miami got all the calls
lebron and wade suck

republicans suck
more complaints about spending
though REAGAN was worse!

bush was the reason
2 wars, less taxes, real dumb!
need money to fight..

Celts, Lakes, no worries
More rings than others combined
Great (IF) you reach teens

Dem Dawgs go to Barkin
GAME TIME! when Larkin is Sparkin'

Cote, Haiku submission:

Balls flung through the air
Doctors rushing everywhere
Testes are repaired

Cote, final Haiku answer:

Balls flung here and there
Doctors flying everywhere
Fixing testes there

Or any appropriate applicable mix thereof...

Hey Cote!
"Ok, ok, ok".....as Joe Pesci said in so many Lethal Weapons movies....
My last and best haiku...,

Balls flung here and there
Doctors flying everywhere
Twisted testes pared

(not paired) pared, as in separated, it's what gives haiku it genius....as in the movie, The Last Samurai, as when actor Ken Watanabe realizes right before he dies what the last line to his haiku is......
Now, I too can die happy!

Inni meanie mighty Moe
where did you go jake? we miss your fro!
i thought you were a bro?
You fisher for some dough.
Breaka leg Jake
Hope you get bullied by Wake!

for you, OC.. read it and weep..

celts lakes history
dolphin fans know how little
the past means today!

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