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May 05, 2010

On Bill Parcells' silence (with poll); plus D-Wade responds to wife's latest suit; Marlins' uphill climb, corpse rides bike, Taser Boy & more

1aacinco [We celebrated Cinco de Mayo with a live online chat today. Thanks to all who tapped in. We do it every Wednesday from 1-2 p.m. in the Q&A Forum. Click here to join live, see transcripts or to post questions at any time].

BILL PARCELLS' SILENCE: OK OR NO?: Big Tuna's method of operation is to be publicly silent on any and all major decisions he makes regarding the Dolphins. I write about why this is wrong, and contrast the styles of Parcells and the Heat's Pat Riley, in this column today. I think it is a way for Parcells to escape public accountability for his actions. I think the fans deserve more. The Dolphins believe fans don't care that Parcells doesn't talk. I'm not sure. That's why I'm asking! Take a dip in our poll and tell us why.

[Poll comment: I am amused and amazed that close to two-thirds of you are A-OK with giving Parcells a free ride on this. Eating up the company line and asking for more. Oh well. Your call].

VEGAS ODDS ON WADE: Asked my guys at Bodog.com to give us odds on where Dwyane Wade will be when the 2010-11 NBA season begins. The answer: Heat 4/11; Bulls 5/2; Knicks 10/1; Nets 15/1; any other team 15/2. LeBron James is 1/3 to return to Cavaliers and 3/1 for Knicks, 10/1 for Nets and 25/1 for Mavericks, with Miami 35/1 to get King James.

[Sad Wade update: Uglier and uglier gets his bitter divorce. Now Wade's estranged wife is suing actress Gabrielle Union, claiming Wade's relationship with Union has caused her and their two young children emotional duress. A divorce-lawyer friend speculates these are tactics to drive up the settlement offer Mrs. Ex will eventually accept. Wade Tweeted this apparent response to the suit around 4:45 this afternoon, verbatim: The gd times its easy 2 b who ppl expect. Itz the bad times that show who u rlly R.. alwayz keep my head high & show class].

MARLINS' UPHILL CLIMB: Twenty-six games is a big enough chunk of season to form opinions, and clearly the 13-13 Marlins do not have a playoff-caliber bullpen -- as we were reminded again last night with Leo Nunez's blown save in the extra innings loss. Another emerging threat to Florida's playoff hopes is the number of teams that figure to be in the wild-card hunt. In the NL 13 of 16 teams are within three games of .500. If I'm Fredi Gonzalez right now I'm thinking the NL East title might be a better shot than a wild card spot. Gonna take a fortified 'pen, though.

1aabikewake IT'S ALMOST AS IF HE ISN'T REALLY DEAD!: True story. A Puerto Rican funeral home recently allowed the corpse of David Morales Colon (right) to be posed on a motorcycle during the service. I'm sorry but this is creepy. May we immediately nip in the bud the potential trend in funereal action figures. I have heard of Bike Week. But never before Bike Wake.

1aataserboy SCREW TASER BOY: The amount of sympathy I feel for that Phillies fan who ran onto the field and was tasered by a cop would fit in a thumble, with room left over for a thumb. Click here for the video. I'm stunned anyone would support the 17-year-old fan. But not as stunned as the 17-year-old fan!

THE LIST: 5'S: In honor of Cinco de Mayo, the five greatest players drafted having to do specifically with the number 5 by the Dolphins, Heat, Marlins or Panthers:

1. Dwyane Wade (Heat; 5th overall, 2003)

2. Zach Thomas (Dolphins; 5th round, 1996)

3. Dan Uggla (Marlins; Rule 5 draft, 2005)

4. Jim Kiick (Dolphins; 5th round, 1968)

5. Paul Laus (Panthers; 5th round, 1993 expansion draft)

Honorable mention: Steve Smith (Heat 5th overall 1991); Rob Niedermayer (Panthers 5th overall 1993); Bryan Cox (Dolphins 5th round 1991); Don Strock (Dolphins 5th round 1973); Jon Sunvold (Heat 5th round 1988 expansion draft); and Charlie Babb (Dolphins 5th round 1972).

Twitter.com/gregcote

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Greg,

Everyone understands why members of the media would want to have Bill Parcells open up. Come on, you guys are in the news business! Aside from that, don't you think that were he to do just that, all it would accomplish would be to create controversy? Oh wait. That's part of being in the media too.

Seriously, I think most people focus on results. If the guy fields a winner, not many are going to care whether Parcells was tight lipped or as revealing as an aquaphobic during water boarding.

That picture above of the dead motorcyclist doesn't show much detail. Check out this link:

http://blog.motorcycle.com/2010/04/28/manufacturers/honda/not-even-death-can-stop-him-from-riding/

This guy would sell ice to an Eskimo.

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=nzuFelxTzII

Parcells isn't known for chatty media candor. Is this new? Nope. Voted No.

Baseball comment: Way to early to tell with only 1 month played,, every team has a chance to end up either in 1st or last place.

Wade, my $ says he stays with the Heat. Could play out with Riley stepping back in as coach and team (over)spending for talented help. The team physician needs to check Beasley out to see if he lost his manhood somewhere along the way.

More NBA,,, shocker! LaBron ends up with Lakers.

Parcells could care less what the media or the fans think. He is nothing more then a self absorbed blow hard. I got to watch him in NE, where he wore out his welcome. He failed with the jets, and cowboys also. The guy is to old school. The one thing with the tuna that has never changed is, it is always all about him. When he blows up it is someone elses fault. You can take it to the bank, this guy will blow up in miami, and will point fingers at everyone but himself.

Mr. Cote and the rest of the writers, please amuse me and tell us WHAT DO YOU WANT HIM (Parcells) TO TALK ABOUT? AND HOW OFTEN?......WHAT WOULD MAKE YOU HAPPY?

Voted NO on the Tuna poll, I could care less about the Tuna not talking to all you media prima donas or the fans for that matter...all I care about he puts the Dolphins in position to be contenders and he is doing a great job of that.....

D Wade will stay with the heat, there are 30 million reason's why he will.

THAT dead guy's story is CREEPY.

Cote, you forgot a 5 from the U, Egerrin James, great , great back.

"THE LIST: 5'S: In honor of Cinco de Mayo, the five greatest players drafted having to do specifically with the number 5 by the Dolphins, Heat, Marlins or Panthers:"

You forgot Vernon Carey and all the 5 dollar footlongs he has eaten lately.

Parcells owes nothing to the media but everything to the fans.

He is privileged with being able to build this team in his own image - the fans who pay his salary deserve to know why he does the things he does.

NaplesJack..
Parcells took over Giants, Jets, Pats, Dolphins that were at the time laughing stocks of the league. Dallas wasn't far from futility either and is now stacked & deep with talent. With the Giants, Jets & Pats, he turned very bad teams into winners. You can't argue the fact that Miami hasn't vastly improved its roster since he came in and fired Cam and his people.

Maybe you yearn for Cameron Cameron days in front of the camera.. ahhhh lets see, Ginn Jr, "We drafted the whole Ginn family" crap and the imfamous "WEre failing forward" W/ "I want us to fail forward in the first quarter and then get better".. wow, what a chump. But hey, he was nice to the media.
Or you can have the little general Nicky Saban telling us how lucky were to get Jason Allen & Matt Roth in the draft.
Or you can have nice hairdo JJ telling us how Yatill Green, John Avery are going to make Miami a powerhouse... BS.

Actions speak louder than words, that's all I have to say.

BEES, OC, shadow and perhaps Woodcock for originality our four resident brainiacs, tell me gentlemen have you ever heard the following theory "Knowledge and language are separate." If true what are its ramifications regarding all human knowledge?" http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=qXpMTuh4zyU&feature=related

Tuna has paid his dues. Nobody handled intrusive, obnoxious NY media feeding frenzy as well as Parcells. Go ahead and jam a mic in his face. I'm sure he'll be able to handle intelligent and stupid questions alike as the seasoned, thickskinned pro that he is.

I saw guy on motorcycle story yesterday. Creepy was first word that came to mind. The fact that he was shot to death didn't do anything to warm my body temp...

Trebek and his list excepting Woodcock:
Curly and I still think most of these minute details and certainly all the over done youtube crap is coming from Google or Bing.
Just because Cote doesn't have an original thought doesn't mean it has to be contageous.
Where's duke anyway???

Dont care if Bill(The Tuna)Parcells ever talks to you greg, I mean your a confirmed "LEFTY" Right, I'll just be like the rest of the people around and just be a sheep.... BAAAAAAAAAAAA, BAAAAAAAA

By the By, Loved those Vids duke......

Wishing my foulmouthed friend - Woodcock, a Happy Birthday.

PUT THIS ON RECORD:

since being refused a spot on the old daytime "jeopardy" for the crime of knowing too much, i boycott the dumbed-down nighttime version with the canadian and his bag of phony accents when the "questions" contain foreign names or phrases. the shadow is no "braniac"- i just was a homely 13 year-old who got his kicks reading "the encyclopedia of sports" (bar mitzvah gift), the almanac, and the world book encyclopedia. the ability to retain factual information and intelligence are as far apart as knowledge and language.

Where is where mon frare?

boys,

one of the really great baseball announcers, ernie harwell, passed on yesterday. listening to his call of a ballgame was a treat. i can't think of a radio play-by-play man other than john miller that i can handle these days. the marlins primary announcer has vin scully-itis, but the young pup who spells him is passable.

duke,

Knowledge and language separate? Its ramifications regarding human knowledge?

If so, B.O. don't know Diddley! Great communicator though.

shadow your 7:07PM response suggests abit too much modesty sir...

Really Anti-Christ how could I not think of you with every dark video I selected. You my "evil" friend made it all the more fun.

Yes Happy Birthday Woodcock. I realize we're scarcely aquaintances but I do respect and even enjoy, when not aimed directly at me, your brutally uncensored observations.

BIRTHDAY PRESENT FOR MR. WOODCOCK:

NFL network is showing the 72 dolphins now; about to come back from a commercial break to show the AFC championship against the steelers-run, larry (seiple), run!!!

NEXT UPON NFL NETWORK:

1973 dolphins- this is a beautiful evening to be sitting in front of the big HD television!!

shadow only game I regret missing is Dolphins trouncing dah Raiders for like 300 yards rushing and like 33-13 score on there way to crushing Vikings in SB VIII. I recall a year or three ago some individuls on ebay were selling entire copies of SB VII & VIII. No commercials. Decent film quality. Also several other playoff games involving Dallas, Pittsburgh, Buffalo etc. Now this did not last long. I had a feeling NFL films stepped in and said NO F***ING WAY are you selling our property on ebay and it vanished like so much smoke.
In any event I asked a guy who had several old Dolphin games if he had Chiefs vs Dolphins double OT or Miami's thrashing of Oakland noted above. He just wrote back those games weren't available. I wonder why particularly Chiefs vs Dolphins X-Mas mindbender. I wish NFL would put these games together right, remastered and sell them to fans for what they think they're worth.

This is for all the predators & prey in the world whose positions can oddly change in the blink of an eye...http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=j5mJQGMqJvw

I think that was chomsky- knowledge of language is different from other types of knowledge because its structure is innately programmed into the mind, with the implication being that any number of other functions of the mind (love, war, xenophobia, etc.) could also have innate biases and structures.

Innate ability:

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=agV4s3O7Ysg&feature=related

And if you really want to stretch your brain:

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=c8ShC9VBQCs

Check out 2:00 to 4:00 for a two minute explanation of how gravity is created by the sun bending space as it travels through it.

Bees,
Well Said Sir!

OK I survived I am a Nigerian but here comes the real test I suspect.

Ok BEES wife needs computor but I like Hawking and I was able to stay with today's astronomical-cosmological lesson long enough to arrive at the question if my cock hidden in me trousers has unbelievable mass why doesn't inevitably bend pretty young ladies clitori to Supreme Multi-Orgasmic Ecstasy as I walk by them in CVS or Publix for instance? Hmmm. Get back to yah later.

sorry meant "Why doesn't it inevitably....

Oh yeah regarding Knowledge and language are separate. Don't expect me to articulate the meaning or nature of the ineffable.

r. duke,

the 73 dolphins ran for 290+ yards against the raiders, as stated in the show, and griese passed six times in thrashing oakland. six throws is half a drive for tom brady or peyton manning or all the others these days. the pass-happy NFL, as "sophisticated" as these passing attcks may be, still resembles flag or touch football where running is insignificant. watching kuechenberg completely manhandle the underweight tackle that alan page was a thing of beauty to these eyes.

It would work today. Power running game like Fins had in '73 I truly believe could work provided you had championship caliber, stifling & opportunistic defense. Fins didn't last year. Hence Colts, Saints type losses. Oh yes durable backs & some ladyluck doesn't hurt either...

Taser guy was awesome...I was glad he got up easy.

They I realized how awesome of a thrill it will bring now to not just avoid the fat guy and the old guy, the LBs or RFs....but now the taser!!!! This adds a whole new obstacle...AWEOSOME!!!! Go get 'em boyz!!!

Oh and the day they taser a streaker...that will have us all falling off our couches.

Reading more and more on Grice-Mullen - anyone like him as the 5th receiver after Marshall, Camarillo, Bess, and Hartline?

I don't know anything about the other contenders - Turner, Johnson, Moore, Pruitt, and Wallace.

I wonder if all Fins from 73-74 team stayed together with Joe Thomas as GM and Shula and Arnsparger in trenches if they could have given Steelers a run for their money. What do you think Jimbo. We both suffered considerably with the the success of the "terrible towel." I know we'll never know...

r. duke,

74 dolphins lost to oakland on the clarence davis catch; steelers beat raiders 24-13. would have been a pick em game, even in pittsburgh as the steelers were still young and miami was not over the hill- finishing 11-3, better than the steelers 10-3-1, but not the raiders 12-2.

There are far too many coaches, GMS and presidents in all sports that pay the fans lip service without saying a whole lot.

I don't want to hear Parcells explain his moves - I want wins. And if he can't bring us far into the playoffs, then all I want to hear is what he will do in retirement.

and by the way, if they taser a streaker, I will bust a bloody gut!

Ah, 74..Memories. Man I suffered after that catch. Call it a miricle, or the sea of hands, but to us it was a true heartbreaker. Probably the toughest loss ever as far as I am concerned. There were other tough ones to swallow, the two Charger playoff losses come to mind, but watching that catch while knowing the team would never be the same was rough.

As for the Parcells question, who really cares what he has to say. Everything these guys say is carefully scripted anyway. It isn't like sitting down with him over dinner. Since we were on the subject of the Raiders, I'll say just win baby.

Mike, or sitting down with him at happy hour and getting your drunken mug on video, ie Jerry Jones.

Woodcock, happy birthday man, that makes you 70what?

shadow you just made me weep like a twist all over again. Noticed Zonk in review of '72 Season couldn't relate to crying over loss. Old Yeller being put down but not a football game because he figured, "I wanted to get even." Unfortunately that was not possible after loss to the Raiders in '74 so emotions running high was perhaps not only unavoidable but appropriate particularly when you love your team and that was without a doubt one lovable team. Need I remind sportsfans in AFC East You have Prom King Robo QB Brady, Joe Namath once upon a time, Bills loosing 4 straight SB's with Prima Donas and even consider former division rival Colts with Peyton and you're talking pretty sissified teams compared to... http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=QQ_vHLUrTQ0

Mel Blount was no slouch and he wasn't having much luck bringing down the Boogwie Woogie Choo Choo Train.

Cote I think it would be a grand gesture on your part and on the part of all the Herald Sports writers to bury the hatchet and wish Mr. Woodcock a Happy Birthday. Are yah all man enough is the question...

Parcells is in essence a public figure and CEO of a semi-public institution (hey, those are OUR stadium tax dollars, buddy). So, while he's completely within his rights not to say a thing, shouldn't he feel some obligation in his role as a public figure to offer comment, no matter how meaningless? Moreover, by shunning the institutions which cover the team, he doesn't get to later gripe about stories unfavorable to the franchise. If Dez Bryant's mom is the only way to draw out a comment from the GM, something isn't right with the transparency of this organization. No, this won't affect wins and losses, but it does reflect the coldness and, frankly, disregard for local tradition that happens any time an out-of-town group takes over what was once a local business (thanks, McClatchy, BTW). So, he likely won't change, and we'll still cheer on Sundays. But something is -- and will continue to be -- missing.

I don't think the Tuna likes being neighborly Todd. Just a hunch.

Honestly as crappy as this may sound Just Win Baby Because I'm Sick of Watching Fins Suck or merely be also rans.

If Tuna gets the SB trophy & diamond ring he can be mute as a trappist monk and spend rest of his retirement making exotic jelly from scratch. Correction. After he wins at least three consecutive SBs in a row he can down a robe and sandals. Time for that record to finally come to pass.

Plus before greaser Al Davis became Mr. Burns he used to talk alot and say nothing until he brought SB trophys home. Then he'd yammer on about committment to excellent while Rozelle turned a lighter shade of green.

and red and blanch.

Ah dawn a robe....?

Business world is generally f***ing rude, callous and out for #1 and I'm afraid the fans are often merely walking $ signs as are the players, and anyone else who works for large money grunting corporation. I'd like to believe there are exceptions to the rule. I mean s*** there must be right Anti-Christ?

Obama's anti-terrorism policy...KEEP HOPING THE TERRORIST BOMBS DON'T EXPLODE.

Tom I want to believe some of the terrorists are not real gunho about strapping explosives to themselves. Some might even be wondering out loud "So how is you know the 72 virgins will actually be "there" after I detonate myself in a crowd of people....? And how do I know my family will get the $25,000.00 for my magnanimous sacrifice.....?

Plus once I've made passionate love to all 72 virgins then what do I do. I don't always feel like having sex. Sometimes I enjoy jamming on my sitar. I would like to try the Infidel's Fender Stratocaster with Marshall stacks as well. Might this be part of the arrangement....?

Then again what if there is such a thing as reincarnation and I find out to late that I must now be a dung beetle for several live because I blew up my fellow man....? Or what if I'm forced to come back as Pete Best or Syd Barret.

Or worse yet as Amy Carter's calloused clitoris!!!!!!!! Or perhaps her full length bathroom mirror!!!!!!! Ahhhhhhhhhhh!!!!!!! The Horror! The Horror!

I keep hearing the most haunting music...http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=YZD1hPJG-B8

You hear it because you ARE a SWINE SIR!!
Leave my girlfriend Amy out of this!!!

FREE LT!!!

How can it be rape if he paid the her?

BEES* hahaahahahaahahahha - good LT comment. I hate seeing these athletes (former2) making the news like this.

72 virgins are actually 72 fat NUNS with shotguns.

Global terrorism is reported down by 50%. My sources tell me that Hezbullah & Al Quesidia heard that Susan Boyle is a virgin and have passed on down the ranks.

meant to say....

info passed on down the ranks.

Is there such a thing as 72 virgins anyway???? (Older then 12 that is)........And also Mr. Duke, be like the Mighty Sheep and just say BAAAAAAAAA, BAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAA.....(Which reminds me, I had a collage buddie that swore he had Sex with a sheep in high school and says it was as good as the real thing)(then again I heard he ended up marrying Amy Carter)

Raoul, Is it true That "PIGS" was inspired by Amy C.???????

Anti-Christ they had to get the idea somewhere and the unfortunate Amy Carter is as good a guess as any. Sheep even if they have great pussy don't have smooth shapely legs, come f*** me high heels, an arched back with silky hair wafting across it, beautiful pert tits and voluptuous mouth. Eyes are nice too. Love green eyes with jet black hair. Shapely feminine hands. Well you get the picture. All in all I don't see the the sheep in the same ballpark. I've been ripped, twisted beyond compare and never cared to f*** a sheep. But hey that's me. Everyone is different. Evderyone is a unique individual. Variety is the spice of life. I don't see anything wrong with it so long as it's consentual and birth control is responsibly used.

boys,

chelsea clinton makes amy carter look like that girl in front of the x-box of a few threads back!! either of them is HIDEEEOSE!!!

Sadly it's beyond their control shadow. Billy Joel's daughter inheriting his recessive genes instead of her mother's Christine Brinkley. What a nightmare. Still she is not Amy Carter nor Chelsea Clinton so therein lies the silver lining...

Mike1 speaking of Ms X-Box how often does that little bouncy, bounce run through your mind on a given day?

Raoul, That post has given me a Semi- Woody, Have you ever thought about writing/directing in the porn industry??? Just wondering......

Sheep are beautiful. Nothing more to say.

BEES*,

i know i showed my trait of being callous when discussing amy and chelsea, but i don't kibbitz about rape. a 15 year-old victim pretty much held in bondage and delivered to lawrence taylor is the way i read the story- runaway or not, prostiture or not, rape is a bad, bad occurence from which victims really never recover. lawrence taylor has been troubl for a long time, stretching back into his playing days. hasn't he appeared wearing a "dangling cross" earring at times? or was iut a dangling "56"?

"People say you can't joke about these things, you can't joke about rape - bullshit! I can prove to you that rape is funny, picture Donald Duck raping Porky Pig."

~ George Carlin

let the coach do the talking

The Big Tuna is a winner. I do take exception to someone talking dog about JJ. He single handily built and good Dolphins D that carried multiple coaches including Wanny and Saban. The issue JJ had was with Marino. He was the one player bigger than JJ and Marino didn't know when to hang it up. I think after the Jags game, JJ said the hell with it and then Marino retired. I wish JJ would have stayed on a couple of more years.

BEES*,

sorry, but i disagree with george carlin on this one- porky is a cartoon character. let's ask ned beatty how he felt about filming that scene in "deliverance", and that was "just a movie". or jodie (too bad she's a carpetmuncher) foster about "the accused".

A TSA worker in Miami was arrested for aggravated battery after police say he attacked a colleague who'd made fun of his little dick after he walked through one of the new high-tech security scanners during a recent training session.

Rolando Negrin, 44, was busted for assault after things got ugly at Miami International Airport between Negrin and some of his fellow Transportation Security Administration workers on Tuesday. Sources say Negrin stepped into the machine during the training session and became embarrassed and angry when a supervisor started cracking jokes about his teeny weeny, made visible by the new machine.

This guy has gotta be a Yankee or Beaner.

Plus BEES I'm not sure Donald Duck could physically overpower Porky Pig, not without a weapon of some sort. Then you have to factor in Donald Duck' stupidity and wicked self-destructive streak and there's just no way Donald's getting the other succulent white meat. This is one instance ole Georgy just didn't think the scenario through.

Hey Tom, the guy was probably a tiny dicked Dolphin fan who shrunk up yearning for the 70's.

LT a "tiny dicked Dolphin fan" is an oxymoron. No it was most definitely a Beaner.

Si Senor El Tom, olay!

duke - you give porky too much credit, he got manhandled by daffy duck on multiple occasions. Besides, he is asking for trouble walking around with no pants on all the time.

i always thought those full body scanners were a bad idea, mostly becausei usually smuggle shampoo and toothpaste taped to my inner thigh.

I join you shadow on your anti-forcible sex platform, no place for that in this day and age as far as I'm concerned.

LT wore a lightning bolt earring, which you'll probably be able to buy on eBay in the upcoming weeks.

That's funny, Tom. That's beyond George Castansa (I was in the pool, there was shrinkage!). As sorry as i may feel for the guy's shortcoming, any of us would have loved to have been there. Can you imagine the ribbing!?

BEES*,

did you recall seeing how much ray charles' sunglasses fetched on e-bay? shoulda been a big ticket item, i mean, as richard pryor (or was iy flip wilson) used to say,isabella sent columbus to america to discover ray charles!! richard pryor was a true comedic genius, and flip and redd foxx were too. redd foxxgreatest joketeller of all-time, bar none!!

Why does President Obama hate the new Arizona immigration law so intensely?

http://4.bp.blogspot.com/_sK6O7q1TURQ/S9jkdwdW2kI/AAAAAAAADnY/D1WF5V71W3E/s1600/Proof+of+Citizenship.jpg

THE MORNING RIBBING

Wow! It's been almost 24hrs and Greg Cote has yet to make his case for getting JaMarcus Russell.

JaMarcus have any speed or hands or blocking ability? Maybe he could be our next all-pro tightend. We'll consider giving old Al Davis Pat White for JaMarcus is JR has skills to play tightend.

meant "if" JR

r. duke,

jamarcus russell is tipping the scales at over 300 pounds; he is useless and clueless!! another "can't miss" as deemed by the NFL scouts turns out to be "can't make", and the list is long.

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