Midseason poll: Dolphins' biggest problem; plus PETA's new nudie ad, Parcells befriends homeless; Sosa turns white; Donaghy book excerpts & more

[It is Veterans Day. Thanks to all of America's servicemen and women, active-duty and retired. We appreciate what you do. Pictured at right, Dolphin Ricky Williams (with Ronnie Brown) hosting a luncheon this week for members of the military].

[It's LIVE-CHAT WEDNESDAY! But different. Today's chat only will be 3-4 p.m., NOT 1-2. Click here to join us live at 3 or to submit questions early].

DOLPHINS MIDSEASON POLL: It is midseason. The Dolphins are 3-5. Playoff hopes are teetering. Much of the record might be blamed simply on a very tough schedule -- Miami's five losses are to teams that are a combined 32-8 -- but the record also suggests a team still needing to mend problem areas. Take a dip in our poll, identify the Dolphins' greatest weakness or area of concern, and tell why you feel that way. My feelings are known with my latest column (click here). It's the most-read thing on MiamiHerald.com today. But that doesn't make me right. Weigh in. 

Online Surveys & Market Research

[Congrats! Y'all made the above our latest blogpoll to surpass 1,000 votes. Keep 'em coming!] 

HEY! SOMEBODY'S NAKED IN A PETA AD!:

Christian Serratos is the latest actress to appear nude in an ad for People for the Ethical Treatment of Animals (right) because, really, nothing says "animal rights" quite like celebrities getting naked. Longtime readers may be aware I consider PETA to pretty much be run by extremist nut-hounds. However, I am highly in favor of most of their ads!

BIG TUNA, BIG HEART: The Palm Beach Post (credit where it's due) had a neat story this week (click here) about Dolphins chief-architect Bill Parcells befriending a local homeless man. Nice human interest story. But since I'm more into the cheap gag, I'll mention that Parcells has since signed the homeless man to replace Ted Ginn Jr. in the wide receiver rotation. 

"WE'RE NO. 30! WE'RE NO. 30!": Click here to see that in a new survey, Floridians are rated the 30th happiest people. We'd feel pretty good about that if there were say, 500 states instead of only 50.

SAMMY SOSA QUIETLY MORPHS INTO CREEPY-LOOKING WHITE MAN: A spokesman indicated Sosa's skin is undergoing a "rejuvenation." Loving the lip gloss as well!

 

I AM WORLD'S WORST FANTASY OWNER: My Bad Newz Fennelz are now 2-7 after a 90-84 loss. Led after Sunday but got buried by Brandon Marshall Monday night. My greg's Lobos are 3-6 after a 142-110 loss, despite 61 combined points from Michael Turner and Randy Moss. I stink.

OPRAH RULES "AHA MOMENT": Oprah Winfrey has settled a suit agasint Mutual of Omaha to stop the company from using the phrase "aha moment" in an ad campaign, claiming the common phrase  is closely associated with her. Inspired, I am hereby claiming proprietary rights to any number of common phrases, beginning today with, "Criminy!" Do not say "Criminy!" without first consulting my attorneys.  

DOLPHINS OFF-DAY PHOTO OF THE DAY: Here we have receiver Greg Camarillo on a stage doing the hula-hoop during a Publix-related charity appearance, while, in the background, team mascot T.D. appears to be making a drug deal.

 

 

SUBWAY TRAIN NEARLY RUNS OVER WOMAN (with video): Story and video here. It appears to me the lucky woman's stumble onto the tracks may have been aided somewhat by inebriation. Not that she deserved to die for it.

WSOP CROWNS YOUNGEST WINNER: Joe Cada, 21 (pictured), a Michigan poker professional, has become the youngest winner in the history of the World Series of Posers. Cada is expected to squander his $8.55 million fortune foolishly and spend the rest of his life failing to equal his one shining moment. Not that I'm bitter or anything.

TIM DONAGHY BOOK EXCERPTS: The book, "Blowing the Whistle," by disgraced NBA referee Tim Donaghy, has yet to find a publisher. Here are excerpts from the book that may never be seen...

On gambling refs: "To have a little fun at the expense of the worst troublemakers, the referees working the game would sometimes make a modest friendly wager amongst themselves: first ref to give one of the bad boys a technical foul wouldn't have to tip the ball boy that night. In the NBA, ball boys set up the referees' locker room and keep it stocked with food and beer for the postgame meal. We usually ran the kid ragged with a variety of personal requests and then slipped him a $20 bill. Technically, the winner of the bet won twice — he didn't have to pay the kid and he got to call a T on Mr. Foul-Mouthed Big-Shot Du Jour."

On star treatment: "Relationships between NBA players and referees were generally all over the board — love, hate, and everything in-between. Some players, even very good ones, were targeted by referees and the league because they were too talented for their own good. Raja Bell was one of those players. Bell had a reputation for being a "star stopper." His defensive skills were so razor sharp that he could shut down a superstar, or at least make him work for his points. Kobe Bryant was often frustrated by Bell's tenacity on defense. Let's face it, no one completely shuts down a player of Kobe's caliber, but Bell could frustrate Kobe, take him out of his game, and interrupt his rhythm. You would think that the NBA would love a guy who plays such great defense. Think again! Star stoppers hurt the promotion of marquee players. Fans don't pay high prices to see players like Raja Bell — they pay to see superstars like Kobe Bryant score 40 points. Basketball purists like to see good defense, but the NBA wants the big names to score big points. If a player of Kobe's stature collides with the likes of Raja Bell, the call will almost always go for Kobe and against Bell. It was important to keep the stars on the floor."

On Heat-Knicks: "Madison Square Garden was the place to be for a marquee matchup between the Miami Heat and New York Knicks. I worked the game with derrick Stafford and Gary Zielinski, knowing that the Knicks were a sure bet to get favorable treatment that night. Derrick Stafford had a close relationship with Knicks coach Isiah Thomas, and he despised Heat coach Pat Riley. I picked the Knicks without batting an eye and settled in for a roller-coaster ride on the court."

On referee Dick Bavetta: "From my earliest involvement with Bavetta, I learned that he likes to keep games close, and that when a team gets down by double-digit points, he helps the players save face. He accomplishes this act of mercy by quietly, and frequently, blowing the whistle on the team that's having the better night. Team fouls suddenly become one-sided between the contestants, and the score begins to tighten up. That's the way Dick Bavetta referees a game — and everyone in the league knew it."

Radio note: Am on 790 The Ticket with Dan LeBatard today around 4:20 p.m. Odds we'll actually talk about sports? Maybe 30 percent.

Click back. Adding more stuff this afternoon.

Comments

[Shark74]

Let me be first

TED GINN SUCKS !!!!!!!!!!!!!!

[Juju]

how long is it going to take for Mr, Tuna to get a True #1 WR.Chad Henne is going to be a good QB but only if we can get someone that can catch a BALL! All these droped passes happen when we need them the most!Chad's #'s would be so much better if we had a GREAT WR that every team would want(Not that #'s matter when your not making misstakes).Is there any hope for this problem?

[r. duke]

Christian Serratos you're a beautiful human beink!

[mike1]

I agree it's a toss up between receivers and secondary. But our offense is decent.If the secondary would stop letting those big plays happen after we've just had a 16 play, 10 minute drive, we could still win. So I would vote 1. secondary 2. receivers

You need groups like PETA to be somewhat extreme in order to help keep the balance. Otherwise, we'd still be going around hunting and killing everything in sight including elephants simply for ivory.

[r. duke]

I bet Christian Serratos would fill the need at receiver quite nicely...

[Jesus Christ]

The defense sucks, if we would stop giving up TD's in about 45 secs after a 10 minute drive maybe we would win games? I know of at least 3 we could have won! Oh, our linebackers cant cover any tight-ends and we have no pass rush. But the stupid dolphin fans keep blaming Ted Ginn, because they are stupid and obviously think the offense wins championships...

[TheSergeantMajor]

I wanted to check multiple boxes, but as usual, Cote's low-tech polls don't allow that. I picked receiver like most, but would have followed with the following problematic areas in this order:

2. linebackers (led by all talk no action JP)
3. D-Line
4. D-backs
5. Coaching
6. Sp teams coverage

OL, QB are fine, RBs are great, kicking game is very good.

[FZB]

Since my mind does not function properly all the time I voted out-side LB, why you ask ?

simple, we need pass-rushers in a big way, JT and J Porter are getting up there in age, plus in case you missed it , they didn't put any pressure on Brady..we need to develop a great defense....super bowls are won with great defense...

In tuna I trust.

[OC Dolphin]

Greg, good stuff there.

I was watching that poker tournament last night and was aghast every time the young kid would lift his hand for the camera. Ugh! Did you check out the dude's nails!? Man, that was like preparing to watch that infamous Joe Theismann moment, over and over, and over...

Also, is there a white silver glitter glove in Sammy Sosa's future?

[naplesjackpatsfan]

Until the dolphins get a top QB, you are in trouble. You will never win with the wildcat. You cant take the ball out of a QBS hands. Not a top flight one anyway. What has henne shown that gives you confidence in him? As for your other problems, your dbs, lbs, wrs, in that order, are huge problems. Does anybody think henne has shown more then you had with chad p.? You ate the clock up for 10min. starting the 3rd qrt, to score. Brady comes back and scores in 97sec. That takes the air out of a team. Look at the colts game, manning only has the ball 14min.54sec., you lose. You need a qb, and defense to win.

[OC Dolphin]

Naples,

Your team can show us all that they are a force to be reckoned with by winning out during these next four weeks.

@ Indi
jets
@ N.O.
@ Mia

[FZB]

I can't beleive I'm rooting for the belli-cheaters when they play the colts and saints..

[Paul in Philly]

This team's major problem is the defensive front-seven. The front office made a determined effort to improve the secondary this offseason, which they did admirably--Smith and Davis are going to be great for years to come. But I don't care who the DBs are when your front-seven consistently fails to pressure the QB. You need look no further than the game against the Saints: first half, excellent pass rush, 2 picks and absolute defensive domination. Second half, not so much.

JT and JP are both clearly well passed their prime, and our middle LBs wouldn't know a big play if one bit them in the ass. LB, both inside and out, must, must be addressed either in free agency or the draft this year to put this team in a better position to win next year.

Also, firing Dan Henning wouldn't hurt.

[naplesjackpatsfan]

Hate to change the subject but, sure was sad watching the services at FT.Hood today.

[IMAWriterRobJ]

Yeah we need a #1 receiver, better pass rush, animal middle line-backer, yada yada,,,
But the Real issue is that......
Ms Serratos' backside is exquisite. (somehow I have a problem type 'Christian" directly followed by "backside" LOL
Good gosh, why was I born 30 years too late and with a face like a convict.

[IMAWriterRobJ]

I bet Christian Serratos would fill the need at receiver quite nicely...

Posted by: r. duke | November 10, 2009 at 01:38 PM

Yep, tight end would fit her description admirably...(OK, wide receiver/split end, etc...
Moderator, please delete this...in 10 minutes.

[Tom]

Hey Jack

Maybe if Henne had Welker and Moss he might be able to score in 45 seconds. Yathunk that has anything to do with it?

[OC Dolphin]

Down boys. Down, down. Ms Serratos just barely (excuse the pun) turned 19! Not even a mind like Hefner, or John Derek, or Jerry Buss would even consider such a thing.

[mike1]

Well, he could've had Welker if not for Cam-moron. But let's not go there again for the 10,000th time. What did we get out of that anyway in the long run?

[mike1]

Power rankings has us at #17 (up from 20 last week). With a comment that I made when the schedule came out last January.

17 (20) Dolphins 3-5-0
"The Dolphins are finding that the tougher schedule after an 11-win season is burdensome. (Clayton) "

http://espn.go.com/nfl/powerrankings?year=2009&week=10

[OC Dolphin]

Yup, did see that mike1. Last week they were #20 and behind the Jets. They post another loss and the Jets don't even play and they move ahead of them.

That ranking is as reliable as the BCS!

[Iron Mike T]

I don't think the power ranking mean much.

[Shark74]

To ALL Veterans of The U.S. Military
Past & Present

THANK YOU

[mike1]

Iron Mike.. the college rankings should also not mean as much, yet they determine champions from them for a 100 years. Power rankings are for fun; they are in the ballpark.

Still can't believe people voted for receivers over secondary. If our secondary didn't give up big plays right after we had a great 16 play, 10 minute drive, we would win more games. The receiver problem is 2nd on the list. We need to playu defense.

[OC Dolphin]

My thanks goes out to all veterans, on this, their day. Also, and from a point of curiosity, check out these 14 celebs who also served.

Some we know about, others out of left field:

http://www.foxnews.com/slideshow/entertainment/2009/11/11/celebrity-veterans?slide=1

[Iron Mike T]

God Bless America and all the Veterans who serve.

[r. duke]

The fanatical Muslim "Psychiatrist" at Ft Hood needs to have his teeth "fixed" by the dentist in Marathon Man. Good bless all of the great men and women in armed services and thankyou for your tremendous sacrifices in keeping America protected from those very bad things that seek to do destroy US.

[oliver rubber]

WELL JACK NUTS, SEEMS LIKE YOU HAVE A LOT IN COMMON WITH PETA THEN. BECAUSE YOU ARE ALSO AN "extremist nut-hound" AND WACK JOB.

[r. duke]

That seek to destroy US not "to do destroy US." Forgive my grammatical errors. Yes Ft Hood's Dr. Muslim Terrorist should be forced to listen to Slim Whitman's Indian Love Call until his goddamn head f***ing explodes!

[VAlmeda]

WR #1: because none of them can “make a play” especially when it is needed most.
TE #2: because none of them can “make a play” especially when it is needed most.
Pass-rusher #3 because a great pass-rush is the best pass-defense, especially when ANY contact pass five yards is called interference a great pass-rush is at a premium.
Miss Serratos is a magnificent specimen…

[Iron Mike T]

I know what you mean Mike 1. Just sometimes I think these rankings and stats too can be misleading.

[the shadow knows]

mikes, 1 and Iron T versions,

agreed about power rankings- do they have one for the college conferences? mine being, in the following order: SEC, Pac-10, Big 10, Big 12, WAC (i think TCU is in that one), Big East, ACC, and then the rest. as much as i love georgia tech, they are gonna lose in either the ACC championship or the bowl game that follows. your opinions, fellas?

[Iron Mike T]

Not really up on all the rankings, shadow, don't really believe in them other than as "entertainment". They do have college ball rankings though.

[david in los angeles]

hey shadow.. in the midst of a 3 week european tour.. no shows the last 2 days, so i rented a car, raced 4 hours down the autobahn and visited dachau. an incredible experience.. still numb.. what really struck me was how beautiful the land and surroundings actually are, with the evil that took place there. it was unreal.. hope you are well.

[the shadow knows]

david in deutschland,

the europeans appreciate good music, so you will have audiences well worth playing for; germany not to my taste, even though it has someincredibly beautiful settings. when you get back, check out the twilight zone episode "deathshead revisited", about an SS oficer who returns to dachau to relive the "glory days"; unique in that it is the only episode where the epilogue does not end with the words "twilight zone".

[mike1]

I think it's too difficult to rate the conferences. I'd say SEC is tops because of 3 teams at the top. The rest can be equal to teams of other conferences.

The Big 12 is a joke, except for UT who dominates it. But one wonders where they'd be in another conference. BYU equaled them vs OU and bested them vs Wyoming.

In summary, I'd say SEC is tops. And the rest (except the bottom 3) average out to be about the same ..each with a different balance. For example, Big 12 has a top team which is one of the best; but everyone else sucks.
The PAC-10 does not have a dominant team, but more higher weighting teams.
Big 10..probably the same as PAC-10, but a tad lower.
ACC has more parity..more averageness and no dominance.

[mike1]

OK..here is a prime example why it's tough to rate conferences. Last season, there was a lot of assumption that the Bib 12 was great because of UT,OU, TT and OSU. Therefore, UT and OU were ranked very highly at season's end.

Now look at the Bowls. OU lost. 11-1 TT lost 47-34 to 9-4 Ol Miss. 9-3 OSU got smacked by 9-3 Oregon, 42-31. Texas barely beat a two loss Ohio State (in a conference considered weak last year) in the last seconds, 24-21...thanks to 2 failed two pt conversions for Ohio St. So...where was that Big 12 greatness in the end?

In the season, I believe Ohio St endured nastier losses.

True, two other Big 12 teams won their games ..but that was among the weaker pool and they were matched against inferior opponents with worse records. Anyway, we're talking about the opponents that gave Texas and OU their over-rated ranking.

[mike1]

Dudes,

I looked up Christian Serratos, born Christian Marie Bernardi. Hate to spoil your image... she is not that great. Her face isn't that great. Her bossy is grossly rail thin. Even if you look at a larger version of that photo, among other photos. Typical aneroxic model. She just happens to have a curvy rear postured well for the photo. Sorry.

[mike1]

i meant 'body' not 'bossy' ..in the previous entry

[Dave in VA]

Naples Jack, I don't claim to be an expert, but Henne has shown me plenty to make me believe he's a top tier QB. He has the ability to hurl the long ball, fire a laser into tight coverage and throw a touch pass over d-backs heads. He has made many a perfect pass just to have it dropped. In my mind a perfect pass doesn't necessarily hit between the numbers, but is a very catchable ball for a NFL caliber receiver but out of reach for the coverage. He plays smart, virually mistake free ball, even his INTs are typically tipped balls (off our own receivers hands no less).

Tell me Jack, what is it you see or don't see that tells you he's not a good QB? I for one have been pretty impressed.