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Anquan Boldin worth a No. 1 draft pick?: Now that Jason Taylor is back in the fold we turn attention to the one piece still missing from the Dolphins offense: A premier, No. 1-caliber wide receiver. Arizona's Anquan Boldin is available in trade, although it likely would take a first-round draft pick and maybe a little more to pry him from Arizona. Should the Dolphins do it if they can? Take a dip in our poll:
[You did it again. The above was our 62nd blogpoll to surpass 1,000 votes within the first 24 hours and has since jetted past the 2,000-mark. Keep 'em coming!]
Coghlan-gate exposed!: We are the Official Blog of Ridiculous Things, and so we have details on the Brewers fan who caught Marlin Chris Coghlan's first career home run ball the other night and then held it hostage. The fan is Nick Yohanek (pictured right), and you'd click on The Happy Youngster (the name of his blog) for his version of the way things transpired. Coghlan said it was a shakedown. This is the fan's perspective.
Joakim Noah finds it hard getting over Bulls' playoff ouster: At least we're guessing so by this photo at left, courtesy of TMZ.
My car? Why it's a 1997 Chevrolet Copmagnet: Not as lucky as Joakim Noah, Memphis Grizzlies forward Darius Miles was busted for pot possession after a traffic stop. Miles was driving the vehicle pictured at left. Yeah, always a good idea, while smoking pot, to be driving the most inconspicuous car possible. Also, a pot-smoking athlete who happens to be black certainly wouldn't want to be driving a car that might fit a policeman's idea of racial profiling or anything!
Female mannequin found too titillating: A scantily clad mannequin posed outside a Cincinnati-area barbecue joint has been made to cover up after complaints. A long T-shirt now covers the dummy's offending attire: a bikini top and short-shorts. Pictured: the restaurant's owner (in ballcap) attends a commission meeting in a failed effort. The mannequin, named BarBe, is in the foreground. Looks like they keep it pretty cold in those commission meetings. The owner complains that, since the mandated cover-up, business is down 40 percent among once-loyal mannequin customers.
790 adds hottie host, even though nobody can see her: Local 790 The Ticket sports-talk radio has paired morning host Jorge Sedano with a new sidekick, Krystal Fernandez (pictured left). Krystal was not hired for her looks, because it's radio. However, there already are unfounded rumors circulating of a budding off-air romance between the two co-hosts. Cannot confirm that most of those rumors were started by Sedano.
Nun runs just for the hell of it: An area nun, Sister Mary Elizabeth Lloyd, 60, plans to compete this weekend, in full flowing nun regalia, in a 100-mile run along the Florida Keys. She calls running a good habit. Pictured at right: A blog rendition of what Sister Mary Beth would look like if she looked like this and, instead of running, were dancing a jig.
Killer abs save woman: Click on Life-Saving Abs to find out how this woman's fitness saved her in a time of great duress.
Ronald McDonald left crimson-faced: McDonald's is pulling the plug on a Kidz Bop 6 CD giveaway in some Happy Meals because parents have complained one of the songs, by Gavin DeGraw, includes the f-word. And I don't mean "fries."
Dear Greg...: ...your blog's OK, but would be much better if you'd show one more picture of that hot mannequin.
(I just realized that for some reason there are mostly good-looking women pictured in this blogpost, counting the nun and the mannequin).
Download your 'Fins iPhone application
what kind of meat does a priest get on fridays? nun
r u kidding about boldin? he could have been had for a #2 a month ago,,, now he is worth #1 from Cote? where have you been lately?
hint: dolphins drafted 2 wr's this yr. boldin isn't worth it, not this yr. the guy would cost apx $10 mil per also...where is that going to come from?
that mannequin is one sexy piece of plastic.
is it my computer screen or is JTaylor looking more like George Foreman every day?
I see the Fins had a hard time prying JTaylor away from his blossoming Hollywood gig........lol.. Maybe Jason can enter on Wheel of Fortune, or American Idol singing some Elton John tune like.... "Daniel" substituting word Daniel for "Tom" since him and Brady are buddies off stage.
Whatever you do,, don't put Channing Crowder on "Are you smarter than a 5th Grader".... we all know that anything past 8th grade was long and hard on Channing.
Posted by: Jimbo | May 15, 2009 at 05:15 PM
Whoever designed mannequin with the twin .88's must really love milk or just got stuck in Freud's oral stage. Wonder if she came complete with cameltoe. You guys love Boldin. Cote are you having threeway way with Boldin and Armando? Armando and his fine corinthian leather.
Posted by: r. duke | May 15, 2009 at 06:13 PM
here, here el Duke.
I wouldn't mind fornicating the mannequin once or twice myself. At least you don't have to worry if she is 18!
Check out the Killer Abs Lady. That Face has been thru a meat grinder aparently. whew. Seen better faces on a Mack truck.
Why don't you auction off the storied mannequin for charity??
Is the running Nun Sister Mary Elephant?
Jokem Noah,, see,, even the ugly rich dudes get the babes. it's all about the Benjamins.
Posted by: Jimbo | May 15, 2009 at 06:34 PM
lol. Jimbo. Sister Mary Elephant. "CLASS CLASS CLASS SHUTUP! Young man give me that knife!" I never tire of Cheech sounds like peach and Chong rhymes with dong. Apparently abs of steel could not save her face...
Posted by: r. duke | May 15, 2009 at 06:51 PM
cote is a douche.
Posted by: TheChampionUnderdog | May 15, 2009 at 07:56 PM
champunderdawg.
repeat performance? honestly, true.
he is the blog master tho
Posted by: Jimbo | May 15, 2009 at 08:52 PM
That Baseball Catcher guy is awesome...don't get me wrong I am a HUGE totally loyal Marlin Fan....but that guy is awesome :)
Posted by: farringtons | May 15, 2009 at 08:55 PM
For you history buffs, this recently uncovered piece of film depicts Hitler's reaction to Himmler's leaking sensitive information to the West in attempt to save his own neck. The time spring 1945. The place Der Furher's bunker in Berlin. Fascinating... http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=rTJKomOLLiM&feature=related
Posted by: Sir Douglas Eddleston, Professor of History at Cambrige Community College | May 15, 2009 at 10:45 PM
Oh jeah well check this out gringo. http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=TGWHFa1Sk9O
Posted by: Cheech Marin, PhD East LA University | May 15, 2009 at 10:49 PM
Whoa this is reall good chit heh heh heh. I mean check this out. http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=TGWHFa1Sk90&feature=related
Posted by: Cheech Marin, PhD East LA University | May 15, 2009 at 10:54 PM
that lady has some nice red stars
Posted by: Jimbo | May 15, 2009 at 11:10 PM
My eyesight has diminished as I've grown older. I didn't even notice the starry tipped funbags. Hmm shame they won't "stand up" to father time either...
Posted by: r. duke | May 16, 2009 at 12:13 AM
Folks, this one is really simple: Name the last time a Super Bowl champ traded away a 1st round pick before getting to the big game.
It doesn't happen. Good teams don't trade away future 1st round picks. Period. The only Super Bowl champ in the last 20 years that I can find who traded away a 1st rounder in the year or two beforehand is the N.Y. Giants (who traded away a future 1st rounder as part of the package to get Eli Manning). But even they didn't send away a future pick for a player beyond a rookie contract.
You'd never find the Patriots doing this or the Steelers or the Ravens. Even when you look back to the dynasties of the 80's and 90's, those teams never traded away their 1st round picks. Instead, they were generally the ones suckering other teams into sending them their 1st rounders for players who were past their prime or generally overrated.
Posted by: David | May 16, 2009 at 12:33 AM
I keep seeing it said here that Boldin is available for a #1 pick. This simply isn't true. The Eagles were looking at the trade and Reid said it would cost a #1, a #3, and a #5 - PLUS $10 million dollars to get him signed.
That's more than "just a little more", Greg. I personally am glad the Fins aren't paying that. You'll notice that no other team in the league is, either.
Posted by: Chris B | May 16, 2009 at 10:34 AM
Cote COTE! YOU STAND AT ATTENTION WHEN I'M TALKIN' TO YOU SOLDIER! Are some kind of hardcore commie or just one of your average run of the mill America haters! I don't even want to know if my son Mr. Duke is correct in applying the threeway tag to you Boldin and this "Armando Fine Corinthian Leather Chaps" fellow in keeping with the "don't ask, don't tell" military policy of this great nation... although I would have to say a name like that has already invalidated that policy.
Posted by: General Jack Ripper, Base Commander, USAF | May 16, 2009 at 02:10 PM
Sir, as an officer in Her Majesty's Air Force, it is my clear duty, under the present circumstances, to issue the Boldin recall code, upon my own authority, and bring back the wing. If you'll excuse me sir. I'm afraid sir, I must ask you for the key and the recall code. Have you got them handy sir?
Posted by: OC Dolphin | May 16, 2009 at 03:19 PM
Now, the real starry-eyed question here; The real honest-to-goodness million dollar question: Did Cote apply those two red stars -HE- himself, with his own stubby little fingers? Or did he have the department intern perform the act?
Posted by: OC Dolphin | May 16, 2009 at 03:29 PM
OC you have a fine mind there son. Personally I'm surprised Cote didn't have Lance Bass folicking nude in a San Francisco bathhouse with only a fig leaf on.
Posted by: General Jack Ripper, Base Commander, USAF | May 16, 2009 at 04:39 PM
"FROLICKING?! FROLICKING?! FOLICKING, FROLICKING FUDGEPACKING WTF IS THE DIFFERENCE DUKE?! Now get me another glass of grain alcohol and rainwater. Jesus H. Christ frolicking."
Posted by: General Jack Ripper, Base Commander, USAF | May 16, 2009 at 07:59 PM
I knew what you meant Rip. I kinda guessed you weren't suggesting that Lance had follicles.
Posted by: OC Dolphin | May 16, 2009 at 08:18 PM
Pretty chicks are like a magnet when it comes to money. It's evident she doesn't want Joakim. She wants his money ,and wants to be noticed by the fact that he's a jock playing in the Nba. I think Joakim doesn't realize it but atleast he's having fun. Joakim be careful with your wallet there. These young pretty chicks can be very costly.
Posted by: ginrai | May 16, 2009 at 09:52 PM
fellers,
you guys have that picture of joachim noah all wrong- he can't swim and he is hanging on to that human being next to him because of the flotation devices which she apparently had installed to keep people from drowning in the rough waters of the atlantic; i for one find artificially "buoys" to be ugly- look at those things if you can, they are grotesque!!
Posted by: the shadow knows | May 16, 2009 at 10:32 PM
shadow those puppies are not going to grow old gracefully. good to see youre back ginrai. for a moment i thought you'd gone red on us son.
Posted by: General Jack Ripper, Base Commander, USAF | May 16, 2009 at 10:40 PM
COTE! COTE GODDAMN YOU WAKE UP AND LETS SEE IF WE CAN STAY ON THE BALL. I HOPE YOU'RE PAYING CLOSE ATTENTION SOLDIER(?)! ONE MORE WORD ABOUT BOLDIN AND ARMANDO AND IN THE STOCKADE YOU GO AWAITING YOUR DISHONORABLE DISCHARGE! FURTHER MY MEN AND I WILL CANCEL OUR SUBSCRIPTIONS TO THIS COMMUNIST RAG ONCE AND FOR ALL!!! HELL THAT LOONEY ARYAN RACIST RAG OSTARA WAS MORE INTERESTING THAN THIS CRAP! IF YOU THINK THIS IS OF NO CONSEQUENCE TO YOU OR YOUR CHRONIES JUST ASK GROUP CAPTAIN KURT TO CRUNCH THE NUMBERS. HE WILL CLARIFY JUST PRECISELY WHAT THIS WILL MEAN FOR YOUR CLUTTERED LITTLE BLOG IN TERMS OF THE ACTUAL PERCENTAGE OF POST LOSSES--NOT THE DILUTED FIGURES FED TO THE MEDIA AND CIVILIANS! ARE WE CLEAR?! NOW LIGHT MY CIGAR YOU PANTY WASTE BOOTLICKER!!
Posted by: General Jack Ripper, Base Commander, USAF | May 16, 2009 at 11:15 PM
I agree with you once again Shadow. I don't like them at all either, and only in extreme cases should a woman consider it.
There are at least 2 or 3 such mannequins in South Beach, without the t-shirt, proudlty on display. Saw them in souvenier shops on Ocean Drive and on Collins the lat few years. Even have a picture! The Japanese have the most realistic ones yet..though they are not mannequins...it was on TV the other day.
Posted by: mike1 | May 17, 2009 at 01:13 AM
Gentlemen during the past few years it has been my great privaledge to have served as your base commander. During my time here I have demanded your loyalty to the corps, your professionalism, your unwavering duty to this great country and you have never given me anything less. However it is now time that I step down as your company commander. May God bless you all and preserve the purity and sanctity of your precious fluids. Ripper out. http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=Li8sW6Okdpk
Posted by: General Jack Ripper, Base Commander, USAF | May 17, 2009 at 04:41 AM
Ripper! Come back!
OC's got things for you to do. And Joakim's double-barrelled babe wants you. I know she does!
Posted by: Joey Starrett | May 17, 2009 at 08:25 AM
I just read Armando Salguero's article "No surprises ahead" in todays online Herald. Good article and well written. I have not been his biggest fan and commented negatively to some of the writing about the Fins.
This one is really good and accurate.
Jason Taylor is (still) good enough to make anyone's roster.
Smart coaches would play him as Miami plans to this season... designated pass rusher OR any down late in the 4th Quarter with the game on the line.
This guy has worked so hard throughout his career that he makes things happen,,,sacks, fumbles, ints, this is as much out of desire, determination, more than athletic ability.
Play Taylor as JJ did with Trace Armstrong,,, JJ did with Charles Haley in Dallas.
Bringing this guy back is a good move,,, he has EARNED the right to retire a Dolphin AND go into the HOF as one too.
You can never have too many pass rushers to compliment Joey Porter.
This coaching staff has some potential to cause havoc every week against every opponent.
Offensively--- they gotta worry about the WildCat,,,now with QB White this package can grow into something really great.
Defensively,,, Porter, Wake, Taylor coming from different angles, blitzes causing havoc there...Pay attention this yr at how many opposing teams get false start penalties worrying about these 3 moving around presnap.
Posted by: Jimbo | May 17, 2009 at 12:11 PM
wow ginrai, did u come with that all by yourself? enjoy your gold star and animal crackers younster.
Posted by: Jimbo | May 17, 2009 at 12:19 PM
mike1,
always nice to be on the same side of an issue with you. those "things" feel worse than they look, if that is possible.
i have always been a fan of asian women (not koreans generally) and their racks are beautiful- feminine and in proportion to their bodies. i am sure a few nipponese go for the augmentation thing, but they are cute and have the right attitude- THEY NEVER SAY "NO"!!!!
Posted by: the shadow knows | May 17, 2009 at 02:26 PM
i know what you mean shadow, my woman is from manilla and all the girls in here family are pretty & nicely shaped. throw in the old fashioned values and your talking a superior woman.
Posted by: Jimbo | May 17, 2009 at 06:47 PM
Boldin isn't worth the money or risk, we would get the downslope of his career. If we were a pick or two away from contending, that would be different. Keep your number one, and the 10 mill per, and coach up what we got, for now. He would be a great fit in Seattle, though.
Forget the mannequin, the 760 chick is smokin hot!!!! Greg get her some face time on t.v.!!!!
Posted by: Robert | May 19, 2009 at 12:45 PM