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May 06, 2009

Are Dolphins, Heat, Marlins or Panthers closest to title? (with poll); plus Brett Favre, Father Cutie & more

     [Join the following by clicking on Twitter.com/gregcote. It's fast, free, fun and the best known safeguard against Swine Flu].

     In a column off last night's Marlins game I explore -- to the degree exploration is possible under a withering deadline -- the idea that all four of South Florida's major pro teams are in a similar spot right now: Credible, pretty good, but not yet title contenders. (Click here for the column).

1riley 1parcells       Heat fans delighted by the team's rebound to playoff status were left by a first-round elimination to wonder how close that team is to playing in June again. Dolphins fans delighted by their team's resurgent return to the playoffs now hear cautious predictions for 2009 and wonder how near a run at a Super Bowl might be. Marlins fans still are wondering which the real team is: 1martin 1beinfest the one that started a scorching 11-1 or the one that has been 4-11 since? Panthers fans are entitled to join the debate despite their team's long playoff drought, after last season's improvement and near-miss. (Pictured are the primary team builders: L-R top, Heat's Pat Riley and Dolphins' Bill Parcells; L-R bottom, Marlins' Larry Beinfest and Panthers' Jacques Martin).

     (I confined the column, this blog post and its related poll below to our pro teams, although the Miami Hurricanes in football are right there in the same category: Pretty good, but seeming a ways from championship-contending).

     Which of our big teams do you feel is closest to a title and why? If my money goes on only one I'd probably say the Heat, given the Dwyane Wade/Michael Beasley starting point and the prospect of adding, say, Chris Bosh in the summer of 2010. With the Dolphins so much depends on the huge variable of how QB Chris Henne turns out. All of the Marlins ifs and maybes I mention in the column. The inscrutable Panthers may be one or two major additions from surprising us.

     Take a dip in our poll. Remember, THIS IS NOT A WHO'S-YOUR-FAVORITE-TEAM POLL! Our aim is a nuetral-as-possible snapshot of which team you all think is best-positioned to contend soonest.

1favre      Brett Favre, the next episode: Looks like our boy from Kiln, Miss., is plotting yet another comeback, this with the once-nemesis Vikings. (Does that mean John Madden will come back, too?) I have a column on Favre's decision, online now and shipping to Thursday's paper, that you'd find by clicking on As the Brett Turns. I explore whether Favre coming back is great, pathetic or somewhere in between. What say ye?   

Aaa1cutie      Father Cutie booted for apparent womanizing: This fascinates me. The Herald headline: 'A celebrity priest's scandal in the sand.' It's about popular Miami priest Alberto Cutie being booted from his church after being photographed caressing a woman on a Florida beach, calling into some doubt his vow of celibacy. The reverend is pictured here administering communuion, perhaps while daydreaming of voluptuousness. Aside from the woman factor, there is something wrong with the phrase "celebrity priest." I don't want my clergyman to be a celebrity, thank you very much. Maybe it is the fate of a man called "Father Cutie." [Quick aside: Back in the (distant) day, one of my nicknames was Greg Cutie, as impossible as ravaging time makes that seem today...]

     Fantasy baseball update: Have gotten emails (OK, two to be exact) from readers reminding me I skipped my Monday blog update on Adler's Marlsox, my fantasy baseball team. Sorry. I am today in 4th place of 10 teams with 57 points. And I have only one question: How can a team with Ryan Howard and David Wright be dead-last in home runs? Let's go, big bats!


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Wow ppl dont know how to take polls huh He sais this isnt a poll to pick who your favorite team is and the dolphins who should defintely be 3rd in this poll are first. i seriously think marlis no doubt are closer to a championship than the heat or dolphins. WHAT ARE YOU PPL SMOKING

Greg Cutie!?

You can't be serious!

With a mug like that!!!

The closest to a championship in my mind is the heat. The Fins and Fish are in really hard divisions and unlike the NBA you usually have to finish with a really good regular season record to win. Basketball's playoff system is to easy, even though this years first round was pretty intense. I think Heat, Fish, Fins, and Panthers. All of this rides on plenty of variables, but it seems the Heat have less variables that can make a huge difference.

Who is Chris Henne?

How the hell are the dolphins are first here ?

From my perspective, the Heat is probably the last team likely to win it all. You can thank one LeBron James for that.

Only one I care about that much are the Phins.

But honestly, I don't think anyone is close to taking it all. And I can't tell who is closest of all. Phins probably 3rd on the list. Heat, Marlins neck & neck. With basketball, there are less players, so we may be just one good player away to helping out Wade.

Miami has a hockey team?

Look regarding Favre missing cheer of crowd there's always Arena Football, Wrestling or even Dancing with the Stars. But he has got to go.

Greg, plugging one of your own here with this nice review of Star Trek:


I'm certainly glad to read a review that suggests the movie will be something other than another empty "effects" type movie.

Duke, it looks like fan favorite Sulu gets a chance to show his blade off.

OC, this will be Sulu's opportunity to finally showcase his superior mastery of his Hattori Hanzo Sword...

Greg, what's the winnings for picking Miami's next Champion?

How about a night with Nadya Suleman. ? Bet that girl has some attractive stretch marks after popping out that litter of cloned Tards. Think she's a freak? Rub crisco all over her and throw in some sparkles, fun, fun, fun. For some reason, I picture that girl not being much of a conversationalist unless you wanna talk Huggies and Formula.

What's with Favre,, that guy is way passed washed up. Desperate for some love I guess, or maybe he likes to peek while in the showers, slappen a$$ and crackin jokes.

Fred Flintstone now a priest? "Wilma" "I'm so hungry I could eat the a$$ outta TREX and Betty Rubble". Rubbing on some woman? good for him, at least we ain't hearing no story about him bobbing on an alter boy. that's just wrong, wrong, wrong.
Cote, are you that insecure? Gotta have an ugly chaplain? Don't worry your still Aunt Bea's favorite...........

Tom, RE:Florida Panthers, apparently so but nobody told the players either.

I read Armando's article about Pennington getting left out of QB discussions. This just proves that guy is high school junior writing like that

Armando Fine Corinthian Leather...

Jesus tits the Catholic Church should cannonize this priest just for leaving little boys alone and banging some beaver for a change.

Well Ward what say you?

Gee dad r. duke is right. Priests should bang girls not little boys.

Wally I'm proud of you son. Now go get your mother's beaver and some whipped cream.

Ah gee Wally what's with all the censorship going on on this blog. The last couple colorful posts apparently didn't make it past Pat Robertson's desk. The last time I looked this was still America. Isn't that right dad?

Yes that's right son. Here's a song that might help Pat Robertson and his boy Jimmy Olsen understand a little thing called FREEDOM. http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=3BpLFeG3Jos.

Gee Mr. Cleaver nothing happened. Perhaps if I gave it a try sir. http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=3BpLFeG3Jos
And may I say how luscious you look this evening Mrs. Cleaver.

Thankyou Eddie. If you behave yourself and don't tease the Beaver you can have sloppy thirds.

Maybe Farve could be the next host of "Family Feud." Lots of cheering on there. Hey shadow sports trivia question. Who would win in there prime Sugar Ray Robinson or Michelle "ain't my belle" Obama? I gotta go with the First er "Lady."

Damn my Masters Degree! "their prime" THEIR, THEIR not "THERE" IDIOT!

Say the words "a turd"

It's the words I'm thinking of

Favre's a turd, not love

Say goodnight Gracey...

Marlins close to a title? Where do you guys come up with this stuff?


You were kind enough to provide us with the youtube link for Susan Boyle so I'm returning the favor with another Britain Has Talent performance. I hope you enjoy



i remember when "the stripper" by david rose was on the pop charts in 1962; it topped the charts on the billboard hot 100 the week ending 7/7/62. if memory serves, it was introduced on the pilot of "burke's law" which starrred dick powell before gene barry had the lead in the tv series. will do further research.

Thanks Tom, that was enjoyable. Lane Bryant would be smart in making her their Tyra Banks.

That performance could have only been "topped?" had she been Japanese. (think in terms of the flag).

OC Dolphin,

your mind is at work and functioning properly based on your abservation concerning the flag of japan!! that gal is beastly!!!

Gentlemen, Gentlemen you too ginrai. This is what the Dolphins will be doing to Tommyboy LaMotta's and his NE Patriots this year. http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=nAjurxttv4 This scene always reminds me how humorous "ROCKY" really is.

This is damn strange my eyesight must be going. Three times I rechecked that youtube address and it was same everytime and nothing is happening. Ah perhaps this might do it. Strange address but worth the effort. http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=-nAjurxttv4

Better wear your personal protective equipment when watching so you don't get any on ya. Jimmbo I believe you're familiar with PPE.

Sorry Jimbo. One "m" would have been sufficient. Hey maybe Favre could go into boxing ala Too Tall Jones and Micky Rourke. Lotsa crowd noise there too.

Which reminds me Cote where's my basketball book prize for winning prestigious March Madness Haiku Contest this year. I wanna get that baby on ebay. I'll sign it first of course.

Regarding my 2:14PM post. Tommyboy LaMotta's should have been Raging Tom or Tommyboy LaMotta not Tommyboy "LaMotta's." I'm off work today so I can make more of an effort to edit my own work.

Raging Brett toughest QB ever seeks to become toughest semi-moronic boxer ever!

Damn sure did get quiet in here...

I wonder if this is what the inside of ginrai's head is like?

Next Miami team to win a championship = Null

Next Cote blogger most likely to get laid = see above answer

Father Cutie was supposed to marry my sister in October. So much for that. ;) Honestly, it's ridiculous that Catholic priests can't get married. Christian pastors and the like have families, and more importantly, get laid periodically. I mean really, how can a person with no life experience regarding women and children give me any kind of advice on either one of those topics?

Update your religion, you hoopleheads.

good point dave. guess they are educated by the church on what family life is SUPPOSED to be like.

lol Duke. Brett and the crowd noise. He'll be 75 with Althimers and still trying to run out on the field in his hospital gown... saggy ass and balls hanging out the back.

Dolphins should be the next Miami Champ. Marlins are taking big tailspin down,, they don't have strong enough pitching to hang in a 162 game season anyway.
Heat only has Wade and not much else let alone a contending team. They are just good enough to make the playoffs not win it.
Panthers got a long way to go.

Duke, got question 4 U.
Do you work corrections or at a state rehab/mental/social worker/ institute???? Or something along the line of that industry?

By reading your posts for a while, I have profiled the regulars to some degree. Who knows, I could be way off base 2.

Jimbo you would make an excellent member of ze GESTAPO!

But enough about me. Cote you scrote where's my goddamn useless basketball book?! Actually I'll make a deal with you Cote. I'll trade ya the basketball book for a subscription to Barely Legal. Huh what ya say? Christians everywhere are dying to know! By the way read "Johnny Depp to Cannonize Hunter S Thompson Good man Johnny Depp.

I never understood mankinds almost universal awkward self-conscious angst while riding on elevators...

Tom Cruise needs to go spend some time with Johnny Depp to learn how to unwind, RELAX. Cruise is stiffer than Father Cuties penis in a room full of girlscouts.

miami dolphins, miami dolphins, miami dolphins number one. We are the ................

This is an important message for all clergy suffering the affects of Imposed Celibacy Syndrome between the years 1950 and 2009. If you or a loved one are suffering from the following: http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=wfGD5FgtNty&feature=related you may be entitled to compensation as part of a class action lawsuit against STUPID PEOPLE IN POSITIONS OF RIDICULOUS POWER. Call 555-666-HELP today and you may finally get that key to financial freedom you've been after all your life AND get your balls scratched once and for all.

Correction that youtube address is http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=wfGD5FgtNtY&feature=related Hurry before it's too late!


Subject being Cruise - "Get back mo**** f***** you don't know me like that!

Dug your Raging Brett stuff, but catch this, like or dislike, Cruise was just brilliant in Tropic Thunder. Video conference scene w/grip, white-exec totin hip-hop was classic.


To everyone:

Just curious, how many of you are following Greggie on Twitter? I count 4 regs.

Knock, knock

Who is it?


I don't believe you. You sound like that landshark selling that crappy beer around our stadium.


12 & 4 season. Let me deliver.

Oh... Why didn't you say so!

Tan-tan, tan-tan, tan-tan, tan-tan...AHHHHH!

This actually makes for pretty good entertainment while at work... ;o)

anyone notice youtube addresses are flickering back and forth between being usable and unusable? They're in blue one second and useless black print the next.

OC Dolphin,

in a fit of egomania is igned on to twitter, and it wasn't long before the spyware, viruses and other junk rendered my computer pretty much useless. norton to the rescue.if i am one of the four regulars- i am afraid to even approach twitter.com, know that don't follow anybody's posts there.

I did get a picture of Kraut 88. It is a copy of a WWII picture turned in to a poster at a museum in Nuremberg. Did take a piece of concrete from Zeppelin Stadium where they used to have big events. Took it from the podium area where Adolf used to make speaches. Also saw the "eagles nest" near Garmish/Bertchgarten.

Cool stuff Jimbo. History is fascinating carnage.

OC couldn't believe that was Tom Cruise. Stiller must have slipped him a L-25 and "X" cocktail while Cruise was checkin' his look out in the mirror...

r. duke,

sighted tom cruise in the era when he was making that vampire movie, driving a porsche 911 with two guys qwith him in a two-seater ride. remember the scene in the producers where zero mostell and gene wilder go to visit the prospective director and his assistant; well, the two guys from the producers were macho men compared to the two young queers in that porsche. tom cruise is a fag, and any of the "women" associated with him "romantically" gotta be at least ac/dc if not outright dykes.

Tom Cruise ain't no star, his real name is Tom Cruz, you know what I'm talking about.

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