Nearly naked women playing football, Dolphins, Panthers, Kimbo, terrorist baby and more

     A new load of miscellania all free and just for you...

      Ready, set ... lacy bra!: Well, it's official now. Promoters out in L.A. announced they have formed a "Lingerie Football League" to supposedly launch in September 2009, an outgrowth of those Lingerie Bowl pay-per-views that air during Super Bowl halftimes. And that one of the 10 teams will be the Miami Caliente. I wish I were kidding. Click here for the league website. And here for the Miami website featuring quarterback Stella Vidal. Stellllllla! No specifics yet on rules changes or adapations, but I can imagine one might be stripper poles in the bench area. Hey I'm just sayin'!

     Dolphin win tops week's NFL picks: You want to solve your own personal economic crisis? Find a bookie and plunge your entire savings onto the Dolphins (+3 points) at Houston. [Note: The preceding was not meant as financial advice and should not in any way be construed as an encouragement of illegal gambling]. Click on Week 6 Gems for all my my picks this week including my Upset Special: Cardinals over Cowboys.

     Panthers open NHL season: The Florida Panthers open their 15th season tonight at Carolina before Saturday's home debut. I had a chance to sit down at some length with new coach Peter DeBoer and you'd click here to find today's column by me on him and his task. The Cats' defensive side looks solid, but it will take some stepping-up on the goal scoring side to finally end the long playoff drought. Speaking of hockey...

      Ideas so awful you don't even need to see the outcome to know they're awful: Philadelphia Flyers owner Ed Snider, a big John McCain supporter, has invited Sarah Palin to drop a ceremonial puck at the Flyers' home opener Saturday night in a blatant attempt at politicking in a supposed swing state. Dear Ed: Just a wild guess, but I'm betting the "hockey mom" will be booed loudly. See if I'm right.

     Phillies win despite being hated: The Philles beat the Dodgers in the NLCS opener last night, despite Fox-TV excecutives running onto the mound and tackling closer Brad Lidge in an effort to secure the network's desired Dodgers-Red Sox World Series.

      Doll baby a terrorist?: A new Fisher-Price doll, Little Mommy Real Loving Baby Cuddle & Coo (pictured), is being pulled from shelves for alleging uttering a pro-Islamic message. Seriously. Click here. The baby is supposed to say only one word, "Mama," in addition to giggling, baby sounds, but supposedly is heard to utter, "Islam is the Light." Cannot confirm that on the campaign trail, Sarah Palin is now suggesting a past relationship between the baby and Barack Obama.

     Wilbon champions good sense: Good for Mike Wilbon, on ESPN's Pardon the Interuption Thursday, for slamming mixed martials arts and that sham of a Kimbo Slice fight the other night on the EliteXC card down here. I columnized on this months ago: MMA is pro wrestling with different makeup, except far more barbaric. Click here for a brief synopsis of the PTI segment, in which Wilbon's co-host, my boy Dan Le Batard, defended the sport as legitimate. (Quick thought: It being popular with the young-adult-male demographic that drives sports-rant radio does not make it legitimate).

     What decade is this?: Tina Turner is playing the AmericanAirlines Arena? Seriously? It'll be half-filled, if that. See if I'm right.

     Roy Williams?: Anquan Boldin is better, in terms of wide receivers who may be available should the Dolphins go hunting. Boldin is worth a 2nd-round pick. I wouldn't spend that on Williams, who has had injury issues three of the past four seasons. 

     No Fun League: NFL fined Ronnie Brown (along with blockers Vernon Carey and Ikechuku Ndukwe) $10,000 each for last Sunday's "Cupid Shuffle" end-zone dance, contending it busted the league's prohibtion on "choreographed celebrations." I admit to mixed feelings on that stuff. Part of me goes the old-school Don Shula route and wants players to "act like they've been there before." But part of me thinks a line has been overstepped when a league instructs its players on how they can and can't show happiness. If the choreography is brief and not an obvious in-your-face disrespect of the opponent, I say let if fly.

     Headlines you never thought you'd see, one in a series: Click here. (But you know what's even stranger? An hour later, a cow was arrested dressed as this woman!)

     Check back. Might be adding more crap later.

Comments

[OC Dolphin]

Greg,

The Lingerie Football League is HOT! --- Oh, and tell me that you and your fellow reporters would not be tripping over yourselves just to get interview in the locker room. Who is going to get THAT assignment!? Make sure it's not Pope, he might suffer a heart attack.

The L.A. Lay works for me.

[Jimbo]

Lingerie is cool, I am toooooo cheap to pay to see so,, nueteral on dat.

Terrorist Baby, that is funny. Is there a conspiracy here? Perhaps more on that later.

Jimbo's picks this week.
ND will beat NC
Missouri will beat OSU in a high scoring game.
Oklamoha by 10 pts over Texas.

Miami beats Texans by 6 on Sunday. This is a scary game against a 0-4 desperate team with some NICE talent in a lot of spots. Very poor QB play is the reason they are winless,,,sound familiar.

Without Pennington, fins would be 0-4 right now.

If Fins can get Boldin for 2nd pick....TAKE it. That guy is football ready NOW, changes the dynamics of Fins offense immediately. Boldin would probably be happy with the contract the Fins overpaid for ex-Chambers.

Roy Williams ONLY if it is a conditional pick. Everyone coming out of college taken in the first 3 rds is considered NFL talent, 4th and later rds are hope or projects.

Knowing Parcells track record, Ireland won't be allowed to jump the gun or more importantly -OverPay- for anyone. Expect no deal guys.

[Jimbo]

Former track star Tim Montgomery was convicted and sentenced to 5 yrs federal time. Tim as quoted "I was blind, I never held a job in my life". American tragety all too common. Sports stars are coddled, pampered, used till they are broke. Some have worthless college degrees, some are too stupid to save anything and run with the crowd that will bring them down.
Never had a job?? You will now Tim, you will be either scrubbing floors, pots and pans, toilets. You may even work your way up and be able to assist preparing meals for child molesters, tax evaders, bank robbers, drug peddling street urchins.

[Jimbo]

Kellen Winslow Jr TE Cleveland Browns is hospitalized with an unknown "embarassing" illness. Little rumor out there is Kellen got Kurts 3 legged brown gerbil stuck up his U NO WHA!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

[Kurt]

Your fettish is getting old there, Jimbo. Is that the type of man you are? I guess that fast track career of yours in the prision doesn't interfere with your anal hobbies. Every time you step onto the prision grounds each day and see those inmates, your first thought is a$$-related.
LMAO!! Then you come to this blog after work and speak of butt hole activities. Wow, living the good life, aren't we, Jimbo?

[Hagar The Horrible]

Hey Kurt-ass, at least Jimbo is living a life, not like you, living in the bowels of humanity.

[Tom]

Cote

You're wrong about Palin getting booed when she drops the puck. The moonbats don't have the money for the Flyers tickets. It's all those disgruntled Americans who cling to their guns and religion when confronted with socialist wealth redistribution tax increases that actually buy those tickets. She'll get few boos but a lot more cheers.

Gotta agree with OC on that hot babe. As for playing football, I think she'll make a great center to my QB. No shotgun formation for me, I'm right up under center with both hands.

Fish prediction this weekend

Miami 27 Texans 10

The Fish continue their roll toward the playoffs.

On the other coast, the slide into the abysss continues for NE. They have to play a real team this week, no more KCs or SF's.

SD 24 NE 6

Going to week 6 Miami and New England will be headed in opposite direction.

[Jimbo]

Kurt were getting entertained at your expense bro,,, your not intelligent enough to understand that nor are you man enough to laugh with us.

Write something intelligent or insightful for ONCE and we'll quit treating you like your the JOKE.

[Kurt]

Tom, er, Hagar, let big-boy Jimbo fight his own battles.

I wouldn't call working in a prision much of a life.

[Kurt]

Tom, er, Hagar, let big-boy Jimbo fight his own battles.

I wouldn't call working in a prision much of a life.

[Kurt]

Once you aquire a sense of humor outside of a junior high student, let me know, Jimbo ass man

[Hagar The Horrible]

Kurt-ass, you are so friggen stupid you couldn’t guess who I was if I was standing in front of you. You obviously are bordering on being an imbecile, that’s why the only job you can hold down is a greeter at your local Walmart.

Your best bet is to stay off the computer and avoid this blog, because you are nothing but a laughing stock.

[Kurt]

Jimbo, you trash mebecause I am not a Dolfan.

Insightful-ness has nothing to do with it.

Basically, you are as insightful as ginrai's turd going through a dark sewer system.

[Jimbo]

Kurt, I don't care what you claim you do, or some ficticous posting to sound whatever. What I choose has worked wonderfully in my lifes plans. Sorry kurt, you sound like a little, angry man.

[Jimbo]

Kurt, not true, I have never had negative interaction with Naples Jack. We have disagreed naturally, but, nothing personal. Your different because YOU chose to be.

[Kurt]

Stick with one name, doche bag, and then we all will know each other.

By the way, based on knowing you are a prision guard, I earn 3 times as much as you. I interact with professionals daily at work; while you interact with convicts.

See a difference?

[Tom]

Kurt er bostonian why do you subject yourself to such humiliation? I could see it before because you were able to rub the salt in our wounds. But now it is you with the gaping wounds and all you are doing is givign us the opportunity to laugh at your expense.

But don't leave, I enjoy the laughs. We all enjoy laughing at you and your team. Hope you're back here tomorrow at 7pm so that we can discuss your team's latest beatdown.

By the way, nice try but I'm not Hagar.

[Kurt]

I am a happy, sucessful man while you sir are an ass-monger. Go feed inmate #324565.

Oh yeah, he may try to spit on you, so wear your face shield, you winner!

[Kurt]

Tom, where does 2-2 beat 3-1?

Your team is still in last place!!

[Kurt]

It seems like Tom, Jimbo, Hagar, Fat ass, Grandma under the bus, and the other one-hitters are all at Jimbo's trailer sharing the same computer.

[Hagar The Horrible]

Kurt-ass, you are living proof that abortions should be legal. The only interactions you have with intelligent people are when you say "Welcome to Wal-Mart"

[Tom]

Kurt

Those who brag about how much they make are usually are full of shit. Based on your performance on this blog, my guess is you fit the norm. In addition, the amount of money one makes is no measure of the quality of a man. We all know Jimbo to be an honorable man but unfortunately we cannot say the same about you. So if it is true that you really do earn 3 times as much as Jimbo, my point is proven.

[Kurt]

Jimbo, put on your riot gear - fight in the mess hall!

Wow, what fun times!!!

Prisoner #34567332 is out of line - time for a cell inspection.

[Tom]

The 3-1 record way overstates the Pats. Two of the wins were against two of the worst teams in the league. You're going down tomorrow.

But you keep dreamin.

[Kurt]

Tom, show us examples of Jimbo's honor.

Is it his anal fettish?
Is it him posting under pseudo names?
Is it his personal insults?

Tell us...

Nice try on the bull$hit, but no-go.

[Kurt]

So is 3-1 better than 2-2, retard?

[Kurt]

Tom, NE plays their schedule, you fool.

3-1 beats 2-2

[Hagar The Horrible]

Kurt-ass, please refer to my post at 11:00 AM, that's if you are capable of scrolling back after all you are pretty stupid.

[Tom]

"I am a happy, sucessful man"

Kurt 2008

LMAO. Kurt er bostonian if you would like I'll go back and cut and paste some of your old posts where you admit how miserable you are and the miserable life that you have. You're a midget. We know you're miserable. That's why you're here on this blog.

But don't go. It's fun having you here. It helps us to put our lives in their proper perspective. 401k's are dropping like a lead weight, no big deal. At least I'm not fu***** Kurt er bostonian.

[Hagar The Horrible]

Welcome to Wal-Mart, my name is Kurt, may I follow you to the mens room and wipe your ass, it's my break time.

[Kurt]

Tom, I am waiting for your examples of Jimbo's measure as an honorable man.

Ass-talk? hmmm, no.

Personal attacks? hmmm, no.

Posting as others? hmmm, not it either.

You guys are so easy to destroy when facts are discussed. Keep it to facts, Tom.

[Tom]

Damn Kurt sounds mad. Got those little fingers going huh Kurt? Boo-fu*****-hoo are we making you mad Kurt.

When you're 3-2 and we're 3-2 and your wins are over KC and SF and our wins are over NE and SD, then what nitwit? I'm laughing at you Kurt. You're a funny little guy, literally.

[Kurt]

Go get them, douche bag. You won't find any because they don't exist.

[OC Dolphin]

Man, I was going to type something funny, but there's a war on. Let's see how this continues first.......

[Hagar The Horrible]

Tom
It's really not nice to make fun of the handicapped, leave Kurt-Ass alone.

Only kidding, have at the asshole.

[Kurt]

When? When?

How about the present being 3-1 versus 2-2.

See, it is idiots like you who ruin this country. Where do you work, Tom? Hagar?

[Hagar The Horrible]

Kurt-Ass, get off the computer, I'm done with your wife now.

[Hagar The Horrible]

By the way, she wasn't really very good.

[Kurt_ass]

You guys don't know what you're talking about. The Pats are so much better than Miami. Oh wait, Miami beat the Pats in their house by 25 and it was really much worse than that. Hmm, guess I'm full of shit. Miami is at least 25 points better than NE.

Sorry. Please forgive me for being a horse's ass.

[Kurt]

It takes 3 to go against me

Tom
Jimbo
Hagar

I guess if each of you try really hard, you can try to top me.

Stick to the facts.

[Hagar The Horrible]

Fact is---You are a Moron

[Kurt]

Tom, the game was over 3 weeks ago. I know it meant the world to you, but NE will finish with 10 wins while your fish may be lucky to win 6 or 7.

[Hagar The Horrible]

Kurt-Ass
What will be your response when the Dolphins kick the Patsies ass for the second time.

[Kurt]

Tom, Jimbo, Hagar,

Does you wife ever get to visit you at the prision? I guess maybe since you are so infatuated with the male bung-hole, that she is, too?

[Kurt]

That's your problem there, Hagar. If it ever happens. If,If,If..Stick to what already has happened first.

Miami is trying to climb out of embarassment for the past 7 years. NE is an elite franshise.

[Kurt]

Hagar, why do you care what I will say if you think I am a moron????

I am STILL waiting for examples of Jimbo's honorability. LMAO!

[Hagar The Horrible]

Dumb Kurt-Ass
Just for educational purposes franchise is spelled the way I typed it, not "franshise" that's it keep proving your stupidity. We all take you serious Ya right.

[Hagar The Horrible]

Kurt-Ass
You are starting to bore me, I believe I'll go have a beer and cut my lawn. You just keep being a Moron and amuse the others.

[Kurt]

Whoops - spelled franchise incorrectly.

And this proves what again? That you work in a (hehe) prison and I make 3 times what you do?

Oh, you cut your own lawn, too? (hehe)

I think I'll go hit some golf balls on the course I live on while you push that mower and slug a Natty Light.

[OC Dolphin]

Looks like the fracas is over.