Greg Cote's Random Evidence of a Cluttered Blog

UM football expectations (with poll); plus man named Gerald out to save Miami Herald, Dolphins/Marlins needs, Strikers, Hank III & more

     [Twitter.com/gregcote]

     Inspirational dirge, man named Gerald out to save Miami Herald, newspaper industry: Click here for 4 minutes 53 seconds of the oddest song you have ever heard or ever will. The rumor that this is me singing -- you know, that rumor I just started with this unprompted denial? -- is false. I thought it was an unearthed demo from a 1970s promotional campaign that never aired. And with good reason. (The actual artist was a guy named Rochester Slim; click here for his website). The song probably is not Top 40 or dance-floor material. If only we could have found this in time to have Michael Jackson overdub a hiccup or a hee-hee. Nevertheless, remember that, although times may be dark for our industry and this song sounds oddly and perhaps presciently funereal, always, for God's sake always remember, no matter what: The Herald is your friend!

     [Miami Herald song update: "Rochester Slim" and I have been in touch via e-mail. He is Alan Donovan, brother of the late, great Herald research librarian Liz Donovan. Alan says he did the song purely for Liz's amusement on a cheap four-track cassette recorder around 1996].

     Set the bar on UM football expectations: Miami Hurricane football seniors wax optimistic about the coming season in a Herald piece (click here), saying, essentially, that the storm is past and happy days are here again. I'd say the program's rebound is headed right but is ongoing, not complete. I see improvement over last year's 7-6 record but probably not a BCS-bowl type of season, especially with that brutal stretch of @ FSU, Georgia Tech, @ Virginia Tech and Oklahoma opening the 12-game regular season. But that's just me. How about you? Take a dip in our poll and together you all, right here, right now, will set the bar on 2009 expectations:

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     [Congrats, and thanks. You made the above our 66th blogpoll to surpass 1,000 votes in its first day. Keep 'em coming!]

     Marlins need bat help, but mostly a closer: With the team seriously contending -- and how 'bout that comeback last night! -- this would be a good time for management to make a move and trade for a proven closer. Could use some lineup pop as well, but there are internal options there such as Cameron Maybin. Click on Saving Grace for today's/Friday's column by me on the Marlins' needs as the July 31 trade deadline looms.

     Evian Roller Babies: Fans of adorable infants doing amazing stunts on roller skates, click here for a YouTube video. 

     On Steve McNair's legacy: We have seen, with Michael Jackson, what death can do for a man. It is the ultimate in accentuating the positive. So it was that thousands attended McNair's stadium service to say goodbye only to a great quarterback, family man and community good-doer -- not to the imperfect man whose philandering played a role in his own death in the murder-suicide inflicted by a girlfriend. The way it ended for McNair lends a posthumous stain to his reputation that is unfortunate but real. Doesn't overshadow all the good, but it doesn't go away either. Euologies get to omit all the bad. Legacies don't.

      Memories of the Fort Lauderdale Strikers: I was among a panel speaking to a sports-marketing class at Barry University this week. Topic: the curious, astounding, fleeting success of the Fort Lauderdale Strikers soccer team in the late 1970s and early '80s. I covered the team then. With me on the panel were former player Thomas Rongen (now coach of the U.S. national under-20 team) and former team marketing guy John Adams. Sweet memories of the special ambience around Lockhart Stadium in those halcyon days. Any old "Striker Likers" still out there? If so drop a favorite memory or two.

     Dolphins must corner the market: The Dolphins could use a veteran cornerback. Right now Will Allen (pictured) is the only proven, starter-caliber corner. Vontae Davis might become that. Isn't now. But I'm not surprised the club isn't interested in considering the return of Patrick Surtain or Sam Madison, both available. Patrick is 33 and Sam 35, and both were banged-up reserves last year with the Chiefs and Giants, respectively. Miami can do better, and younger. But until it does, a reliable, ready-now complement to Will Allen trails only the lack of a proven, premier wide receiver among unmet Dolphin needs as training camp draws near.

     Hank Williams III: Hank III and his band Assjack play downtown Fort Lauderdale tonight/Friday. An item in my paper's Weekend section is, alas, mistakenly accompanied by a photo of his daddy, Hank Williams Jr. Therefore I feel obliged to publish a photo (right) of Hank III, a blog favorite.  

     Women Who Have Managed to Create A Sexy Image Despite Being Generally Unattractive: Today, Lady Gaga.

     Fanning flames of Wade hysteria!: An unnamed South Florida publication that rhymes with "Un Entinel" includes a column fathoming the "devastation" of Dwyane Wade leaving the Heat in free agency. Good column, but for the fact it wouldn't happen for a year if it happened at all. Which it almost certainly won't.

     Funny Headlines With Sad Endings, one in a series: Click here.

      Naked came the receptionist: A British marketing firm, in an effort to boost morale, has asked employees to work in the nude. Click here for the tail tale. As an experiment to see what it was like, I was nude while writing this blog item. I wish other people in The Miami Herald newsroom would quit staring.

     That'll do it for now. 

Signing Iverson a start to keeping Dwyane (happy); plus Cuba happier than U.S., Michael Jackson excessive-adulation poll & more

     [Twitter.com/gregcote]

     Allen Iverson is The Answer. For now: The NBA free-agency signing period begins today and click here for today's column by me on why the Heat should sign FA guard Allen Iverson, who'd love that to happen. He's a veteran playmaker Miami needs, and it would be a step toward keeping Dwyane Wade happy, which is a prerequisite to keeping Dwyane Wade. [An Iverson-to-Heat blogpoll is still accepting votes one post below this one].

     On the Michael Jackson service: Watched most of it. Thought it was well done. Found much of it quite moving, such as the Maya Angelou poem and the young daughter's brief, emotional words. But I must remark derisively on Al Sharpton telling Michael's three kids, "Wasn't nothing strange about your daddy..." C'mon, Rev! Love Michael as a performer, as a person, whatever. But don't try to tell me he wasn't strange. Who in public life has ever been stranger?

     People in Cuba much happier than we in U.S.: This may surprise Cuban Miamians who fled Castro's tyranny and poverty, but people who live in Cuba are rated the seventh happiest, most content people of 143 countries surveyed, with the United States ranking a dismal 114th. No wiseguy, the survey was not conducted by Fidel and Raul. It was conducted by an independent British group; click on happyplanetindex.org for more info. The top 10 in order: Costa Rica, Dominican Republic, Jamaica, Guatemala, Vietnam, Colombia, Cuba, El Salvador, Brazil and Honduras. (Hey don't shoot the messenger. It ain't my list!).

     The Josh and Ricky Show: If Josh Johnson and Ricky Nolasco stay healthy and keep pitching like this, the Marlins will win the  NL East. Period.

     What athlete is most at the top of his game right now?: If you had to pick just one, would it be basketball ace LeBron James, tennis champion Roger Federer, baseball slugger Albert Pujols, golf champ Tiger Woods, or hot dog-eating king Joey Chestnut?

     King of New York slimes King of Pop: New York Congressman Pete King goes on a YouTube diatribe against Michael Jackson (click here for the video), calling him a lowlife, a pervert, a pedophile and saying there was "nothing good about this guy." The invective starts at about the 48-second mark. (Aside to Brett Favre-loving, Sports Illustrated NFL maven Peter King: Change your name immediately). Rep. King says Jackson does not deserve all of the media attention and national mourning he is getting. Agree? Take a dip in our poll.

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     On McNair's tragic death: Steve McNair's death is no less sad or no less a tragedy because it was apparently related to an affair he'd been having. By the way, the boyfriend of the woman found dead next to McNair says some pretty self-incriminating stuff on his MySpace page. When are people going to learn that MySpace, Facebook, Twitter and the like are dangerous things in the wrong hands. Or minds.

     Serena. Nice titles!: Serena Williams (right), after winning Wimbledon, was seen wearing a T-shirt that read, "Are You Looking At My Titles?" Short answer? Yes. Absolutely.

     Miami fails to make "stylish cities" list: Oh man, the cultivators and caretakers of the South Beach image and lifestyle are going to be verklempt over this one. Miami is nowhere to be found among the world's 10 most stylish cities based on the 2009 Anholt-GfK-Roper City Brands Index. (Click here for the story). The places more stylish than us, in order: Paris, Milan, New York, London, Rome, Los Angeles, Tokyo, Madrid, San Francisco and Barcelona.

     "Old age" begins at 68: That's according to a new survey of Americans. A bunch of 67-year-olds are running around shouting "Yesss!!" and getting tattoos. 

       Beckham, wife in underwear!: It certainly is not unsual for soccer heartthrob David Beckham and perpetually pouting, sullen-looking wife Victoria to be photographed in undies. What interests me about this latest ad is the streak in Dave's hair. Is that lighting? Or is he going for a look that pays homage to the late, great Yvonne DeCarlo from the Munsters?

     Adler's Marlsox suck: That's my fantasy-league baseball team, which has slipped and slided to seventh place. A fantasy baseball rookie, I have discovered that this is harder than fantasy football, at least for me. I'm not sure why.

     Latest round of thanks...: ...to Las Vegas Review-Journal, Merced (Cal.) Sun-Star, Philadelphia Daily News, Regina (Sask.) Leader-Post, St. Louis Post-Dispatch, Seattle Times, SportingNews.com, and, as always, 790 The Ticket.

      Dear Greg...: ...your blog's OK, but if you're going to post a bunch of non-sports stuff like this can't you at least show a picture of Rihanna partying at Tao in Las Vegas wearing only silver-sequinned stars under her tuxedo jacket? Thank you.

      Geez, you'd think with Rihanna dressing like that we'd rank higher than 114th on the damned happy meter! That'll do it for now.

Happy Fourth Weekend! Our most American sport (with poll); plus Iverson-Heat poll, epic Wimbledon final, Hanley & Josh, McNair

     [Twitter.com/gregcote]

     "Celebrate Fourth of July Weekend with a Blog Double-Poll Extravaganza!"

     Iverson to Heat?: Pat Riley, looking for veteran help at bargain prices, put out feelers to Allen Iverson and Ron Artest. Artest is going to the Lakers (the rich get richer), but A.I. is still out there on the free-agent board. Iverson has some obvious baggage. He is 34, had back and groin injuries last season, and has suffered me-me-itis at times in his career. But he is a maniacal hustler on the floor and obviously has some game left, averaging 17.5 points last season. Iverson can play both guard positions, meaning he could lend the veteran experience Miami now lacks at the point. I say if the Heat can get him cheap, why not? Take a dip in our poll.

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      Marlins Hanley, Double-J make all-star team: Baseball announced its all-star rosters today and Hanley Ramirez is voted an NL starter at shortstop, with pitcher Josh Johnson also selected to the team. Both designations are well-deserved. Can't really argue that any Marlin was unfairly omitted. (Although Ricky Nolasco sure has looked the part lately, hasn't he?)

     Star-spangled Wimbledon: An All-American women's final Saturday with Serena Williams beating older sis Venus. Then it was American Andy Roddick reaching Sunday's men's final vs. Roger Federer -- an epic five-set final that ended with Federer prevailing 16-14 in the last set to capture his record 15th major. Roddick and his fans always will wonder what might have been if he hadn't blown a second set tiebreaker that would have put him up 2-0. A tennis weekend almost the way Uncle Sam would want it.

     McNair tragedy: Downer in the festive weekend, the news late yesterday that former NFL quarterback Steve McNair had been shot to death. It's still a mystery. Was it a murder-suicide involving a 20-year-old woman who reports are was in a relationship with the married McNair? Or was it made to look like that by the woman's boyfriend? No matter the particulars, yet another reminder that star athletes are not immune to life's tragedies.

     Our most American sport: Happy Fourth of July weekend everybody! We'll be celebrating with a group of friends on Fort Lauderdale Beach in an 18th annual Magical Wheel of Meat cookout extravaganza possibly involving limited amounts of beer. Do you have a special July 4 tradition? In honor of the holiday vote on what you think is the most American of all sports.

     [Poll observation: Can't believe, even in a Football Town, that more of you people aren't voting for baseball. I mean, hullo? Warts and all, it's AMERICA'S BLEEPIN' PASTIME!!]

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Miami fans: "We're No. 100!" (Yeah, DEAD LAST!); plus Fredi-Erik-Randy Most Worrisome Coach poll, local title-odds, Arguello, Vick & more

     [Twitter.com/gregcote]

   Miami named nation's lousiest sports town: Men's Health magazine, which I personally don't read because it disrespects my dedicated beer-and-no-exercise lifestyle, ranks 100 American cities for "sports obsession" in its July/August issue and Miami ranks No. 100. Dead last, fans! How does that make you feel? Do we deserve this dubious title? Click here for the mag website. Arlington, Tex., ranks first overall on the list, which is based largely on attendance at events. Jacksonville does well (sixth), but otherwise Florida cities are royally dissed, with Tampa rated 87th, St. Pete 89th, Orlando 96th and, of course, Miami pulling up the sagging rear. I take it the magazine's research was confined to attending a midweek Marlins game during a rain delay? This is an outrage! Even if it's accurate, it's still an outrage! I feel like suing somebody.

     Speaking of rankings...: ESPN's 2009 "Ultimate Standings" are out, a ranking of the 122 Big Four sports teams based on how much they give back to fans. Our teams still rank pretty low, but all four have improved over a year ago, with the Heat ranked No. 55 (up from 87), the Dolphins at No. 61 (up from 108), the Marlins at No. 77 (up from 99) and the Panthers at No. 90 (up from 98).

     Most Worrisome Coach poll: OK, here's the idea. Y'all love Tony Sparano. Swoooooning! And don't much care about the Panthers' Peter DeBoer. That leaves it a three-way race among Fredi Gonzalez, Randy Shannon and Erik Spoelestra among the major local coaches in whom you have the LEAST confidence. Who is it? Take a dip in our poll.

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     Dolphins third-likeliest of nine state pro teams to win title next: Our friends at BetUS.com list odds on the next state pro team to win a championship: Rays 2-2, Magic 3-2, Dolphins 5-2, Jaguars 3-1, Buccaneers 11-2, Heat 6-1, Marlins 12-1, Panthers 15-1, Lightning 20-1. First manager/coach to be fired? It's Marlin Fredi Gonzalez first at 3-2 and then Heat's Erik Spoelstra 7-4. Joey Porter over/under on sacks: 12.5.  Ronnie Brown/Ricky Williams over/under on combined rushing yards: 1,699. Likelihood of Dwyane Wade re-signing with Heat in 2010: 1-2. First Marlin to be traded: Jorge Cantu 2-1, Jeremy Hermida 5-2, Cody Ross 9-4, Dan Uggla 3-1.

     Obligatory Michael Vick mention: I have a column (click here) reacting to ex-NFL coach Dennis Green predicting Michael Vick will end up with the Dolphins. I wish, but don't hold your breath, kids. I had a poll on this recently and 59.5% of y'all said no-way and 40.5% said Miami should be interested. Still feel the same?

     Alexis Arguello, R.I.P.: Man, the celebrity deaths just keep coming don't they? Sad to hear Arguello, the former terrific boxer with Miami ties, died suddenly and apparently of his own hand. Sympathy to his family and fans. (I was a part of The Herald's coverage of that 1982 Arguello-Aaron Pryor bout at the Orange Bowl early in my career. My biggest memory is being at Pryor's winning post-fight party and seeing all of his handlers and sycophants in a loosely formed Conga line chanting, "HAWK TIME! HAWK TIME! HAWK TIME!")

     Bulletin: Panthers do something right!: Our mostly hapless Florida Panthers today buttoned up left wing David Booth with a six-year contract. That's great. He is young (24) and could blossom into a 40-goal scorer (had 31 last season including two hat tricks). I also find myself rooting for any NHL'er not from Eastern Europe or Canada (David's from Detroit). 

     About this Honduras thing...: All I can tell you is that I have a friend who is Honduran and he supports the military coup because he says the overthrown president wanted to illegally reconfigure the Constitution to position himself as a ruler for life along the lines of the megalomaniacs who have ruined Venezula and Cuba and other places in the region. So there.

     Square watermelons: Japanese farmers have developed square watermelons by growing them inside the vine in square containers. I don't know that this ranks with the automobile or computer among inventions, but a pretty neat idea nonetheless. Inspired, I myself am in the early stages of planning to develop a square bowling ball.

     Swimsuit malfunction: Italian Olympian swimmer Flavia Zoccari was disqualified from a race when her swimsuit was torn asunder in the rear. I don't find this particularly newsworthy; however, I do find it an opportunity to see if I can get away with posting this photo -- oopsies! -- in my family-values blog. As for being DQ'd? Heck, I think as an incentive women should automatically win when this kind of thing happens! 

     That'll do it for now, unless I add more stuff later.

Soccer bashing? No; plus Dolphins' No. 1 concern (with poll); Chad Pennington half-nude (with video), Rosenhaus, Marlins, Madoff, Billy Mays & more

     [LIVE ONLINE CHAT! Wednesdays, 1-2 p.m. Click HERE to join chat live tomorrow or post questions at any time].

     [Twitter.com/gregcote]

     "U-S-A! U-S-A! U-S-Awww": Voluminous amount of e-mail on my soccer column today and most of it expressing displeasure with what some see as a "soccer-bashing" column by me. I do not consider it bashing, but rather a realistic take on soccer's place in the fabric of American sports and interests. Click here for the column, which is online and in today's/Tuesday's paper. Miami-Fort Lauderdale was the No. 1 TV market in the country for US-Brazil viewership Sunday, so I'd have certainly been more popular cheerleading the sport. The U.S. men's team led Brazil 2-0 in Sunday's FIFA Confederations Cup championship match, only to lose 3-2. It marked a big accomplishment nevertheless, because in international soccer we're not as good as much of Europe and South America, but it's important to us to be respected in global futbol circles as not sucking, either. I think soccer will never catch football, baseball or basketball in popularity here, but that's OK. I'm curious if you all think I am being realistic, or bashing.

     Dolphins'-biggest-problem-area poll: It's one month from Dolphins training camp. Do you know where your team is? Earlier today in the blog I had a pick-a-poll contest and (perhaps predictably) "anything Dolphins" was pretty much the winner. Thanks to all who e-mailed me topics. Even the guy who suggested a poll on health-care reform (seriously), which might have been my dullest, least voted-on poll since "Beige vs. Taupe." So here goes. Let's try something overview-y with training camp roaring close. What is your one biggest concern about the team as the season nears?

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     Chad Pennington exposed!: Click here for the YouTube video of Dolphin QB Chad Pennington's cover photo shoot for SoBeFit magazine. Included are some shots of Chad shirtless and all sexy, for you ladies out there. Or men as the case may be. Or future opponents looking for bulletin-board material.

     Rosenhaus expanding kingdom?: Is Miami superagent Drew Rosenhaus expanding his kingdom beyond the NFL? Drew today Tweeted that he has been hired by Florida Panthers fans to negotiate lower season-ticket prices. Bizarre. I am launching a full investigation! UPDATE: It was a publicity stunt by the Panthers, who already were planning to lower prices. 

     Time for Marlins to spend, not retreat: Being broomed by the Tampa Bay Rays over the weekend doesn't mean the Marlins have stopped being playoff contenders -- especially with the schedule softening a bit now. Florida needs bullpen bolstering with Matt Lindstrom on the DL for a long while, and, as we were reminded in St. Pete, could use some offensive oomph as well. This is the time for the cheap-o Marlins ownership to spend for some reinforcements. But will they? There is no good reason not to. Florida's is the lowest payroll in the bigs, and revenue sharing and TV income means Jeffrey Loria is pocketing plenty of money that could be going to bringing in help. So, c'mon, Loria. Surprise us. Open the wallet. 

     Jason Taylor takes the fifth: ESPN.com came up with a Top 25 list for NFL players this decade (because it's summer, slooowww), and Dolphin-again Jason Taylor is No. 5. Ahead of him: Tom Brady, Peyton Manning, LaDainian Tomlinson and Seahawks tackle Walter Jones. No other Fishies. Click here for the whole list. More Dolphins: Click here for a recent Ronnie Brown interview with Atlanta radio. One question not asked: Ronnie, how do you feel about the Dolphins not offering you a contract extension yet?

     Ladlylike Chrissie Evert joins anti-grunting crusade: Demure Chris Evert, Fort Lauderdale's own, has joined the civil chorus against the increased grunting and shrieking in women's tennis. Click here for the story. Women's tennis these days sounds like a cross between a childbirth delivery room and the throes of passion. Watch any women's match at Wimbledon to see for yourself. As the chair umpires like to say, "Quiet, please." It continues hilarious to me that a female player will stop and glare at the soft whir of a camera shutter or murmur of whisper from the crowd but seconds later scream "AAAHHHHNNNGGGG!!!!" as she hits the ball.

     Dwyane Wade tops locals up for ESPYs: The 17th annual ESPY Awards, one of the many ESPN conceits that amount to the The Worldwide Leader congratulating itself, happen July 19. Samuel L. Jackson will host, because evidently the even-more-ubiquitous Jamie Foxx was busy. There will be 37 categories, meaning the show will end around July 21. Nominees with So-Fla ties include Heat star Dwyane Wade (best NBA player); Palm Beach's Serena Williams (top overall athlete and best tennis player, female); Miamian Helio Castroneves* (best driver and best moment for winning Indy 500); Misty May-Treanor, wife of then-Marlin Matt Treanor (pictured; best championship performance for Olympic beach volleyball); and local-boy-made-weird Mickey Rourke (best sports movie for 'The Wrestler'). I think only Rourke will win. (*-Surprised Helio wasn't also nominated in the new category, Best Dodge of Federal Prison Sentence on Tax-Evasion Charges).

     Reaction to Madoff sentence: HAHAHAHAHA!!!: Serial swindler and dream-stealer Bernie Madoff, 71, was sentenced Monday to the maximum 150 years in prison as his financial victims cheered in the courtroom. Madoff, following a century and a half of unending abuse from fellow inmates, will be eligible for parole when he is 221, at which time his victims' cheated, grudge-bearing heirs, robbed of their inheritance, will be waiting to kill Madoff with futuristic vaporizing guns upon his release. After torturing him first.

     Heaven just became a more irritating, annoying place: Ed McMahon, Farrah Fawcett, Michael Jackson, AND NOW BILLY MAYS THE SHOUTING TELEVISION PITCHMAN!!! Mr. OxiClean has gone on to that great infomercial in the sky. They say his death at 50 could be related to a bump on the head while on a USAirways flight. I speculate it was related to depression over missing out on the coveted ShamWow account. Anyway, apparently it's true what they say: Death comes in threes, followed inevitably by a fourth. And then a fifth, if you count semi-obscure comedian Fred Travalena.

     That'll do it for now but check back. Plan to add stuff including a poll.

R.I.P. Michael Jackson, 1958-2009

     [Comment on the HEAT DRAFT in the blogpost immediately below this one, and click on Twitter.com.gregcote to join the following].  

     Like many of you I am stunned by the news that, yesterday afternoon, singer Michael Jackson died of cardiac arrest at age 50. I believe we have lost a titan, an American treasure (warts and all). I believe we have lost a giant of pop culture and one of the most talented, charismatic and influential performers in the history of entertainment. For me, in my lifetime, his loss ranks with those of Elvis Presley and John Lennon in terms of music deaths that have touched me.

     Michael's music was important to me, integral with my life's soundtrack from his early days leading The Jackson 5 through his peak, "Thriller" years and beyond. The memory of him doing the Moonwalk on TV is seared in my mind.

     His later life, beyond the commercial success, was in many ways an American tragedy. There was the freakish obesssion with facial surgery and pigment. There were the more uncomfortable, darker elements involving an obsession with children. These things are an undeniable part of the whole picture. These things are why a friend of mine's reaction Thursday was, "Michael Jackson died years ago." That's harsh, but surely resonates with many.

     For me, though. stepping back to see the whole picture, the entire life, Michael Jackson is the talent, the music, to a degree overwhelming the weirdness and bizarre afterlife that followed.

     Your thoughts on Jackson's legacy and what he meant to you are invited here.

     ***************************************************************************

     Favorite songs: Also wondering your one favorite Jackson song or the one you most associate with him. For me the early-era song would be "I'll Be There," and the peak-years song would be "Billie Jean." Click on Ten Gems to see the videos for A-B-C, Beat It, Billie Jean, Don't Stop 'Til You Get Enough, I Want You Back, Man In The Mirror, Rock With You, The Way You Make Me Feel, Thriller, and Wanna Be Starting Something.

     Click on Don't Stop 'Til You Get Enough to listen.

Heat nets two in draft, UM's McClinton to Spurs; plus website craps on '72 Dolphins, Shaq joins LeBron & more

     [Twitter.com/gregcote]

FARRAH FAWCETT: 1947-2009, R.I.P.

 

      Heat drafts two in second round, trades for one, trades away one: (Click on Heat Lose Ground in East for my draft-day column). Miami acquires No. 42 overall pick Patrick Beverley (pictured), the Arkansas point guard, from the Lakers for a future second-round pick and cash. Heat selects LSU shooting guard Marcus Thornton 43rd overall -- then trades him to New Orleans for 2R picks in 2010 and '12. Miami Hurricane Jack McClinton finally goes 51st overall, to San Antonio. Then the Heat closes the draft with the 60th pick, Memphis forward Robert Dozier, who has the wingspan and perimeter defending Pat Riley loves. Depth picks, obviously. Hoping for one gem. Sort of surprised Miami traded to get a point guard, considering they had a rookie starting at PG last year.

     Preamble: 11:04 pm--NBA vows Miami will select sometime this century. 10:26 pm--The first round has ended. Analysts are calling it the most boring first round ever not involving Mel Kiper Jr. ..... 10:15 pm--It is now being estimated that the Heat's first selection, 43rd overall, will be made in roughly early July. ..... 10:06 pm--Has the draft started yet? ..... 5:33--Pat Riley emerges from Draftcave to deny rumors Miami plans to use 43rd and 60th picks to select Gloria and Emilio Estefan. ..... 4:53 pm--Heat continues to not draft anybody. ..... 2:58 pm--No pick yet. ..... 2:10 pm--Nah. Still nuthin'. ..... 1:01 pm--Heat has yet to make a pick, because draft doesn't start for more than six hours. (Stay tuned for updates).

     Original post: Heat has no first-round pick tonight and selects twice (43rd, 60th) in the second round. Miami has a sketchy record on second-round picks, as you can see by the choices in the following poll. These are about the only five guys ever drafted 2R by Miami who amounted to anything with the club. As a preemptive strike for those thinking WHAT ABOUT MARIO CHALMERS YOU JERK!, I would remind that Chalmers was drafted by Minnesota a year ago and then his rights were acquired by Miami in exchange for two 2009 second-round picks and cash. So he was not an official draft pick of the Heat, who then spent more than a second-rounder to get him -- hence his exclusion from our poll.

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     Football website craps on '72 Dolphins: Because it's the offseason and something must be done for attention, the website Cold, Hard Football Facts denigrates the status of several NFL accomplishments including Miami's 1972 Perfect Season in a piece you'd see by clicking here. This is the kind of thing that drives Don Shula crazy. It's the standard reheating of the fact Miami's schedule that season (70-126 opponents' record) was soft and included only two regular-season teams with winning records, both 8-6. Writeth CHFF: "Miami's 1972 schedule was so easy we wish we dated it in high school." [Cue canned laughter]. It is the same underbaked logic that would undermine Babe Ruth's 714 homers because, for example, he played before integration. Bulletin: You cannot control the era you play in or your competition, as Shula is pictured at left trying to patiently explain. Fact: Miami played the schedule it was given and won every game, and nobody else, no matter the schedule, has done that. Ever. Any questions? Naw, I didn't think so.

     Shaq headed to Cleveland LeBronaliers: Reports are that Phoenix has agreed today to trade the ghost of Shaquille O'Neal to LeBron James' Cavaliers in exchange for Ben Wallace, Sasha Pavlovic, a second-round pick in tonight's NBA draft, and cash. (Shaq and LeBron are pictured at right dancing with joy). Not sure Shaq has enough game left to push Cleveland over the top in the East. The bigger question: Does Shaq have enough ego left to try to take credit for LeBron like he did with Kobe and D-Wade?

     Marlins doing good. Shhh!: Psst, don't tell anybody, but the Marlins are over .500 and now only 1 game back in the NL East after winning again tonight. That's between us. 

     Miami doctor linked to Manny Being Busted: ESPN.com is reporting (click here) that a Miami doctor, Pedro Publio Bosch, anjd his son are implicated in having providing Dodger Manny Ramirez the banned performance-enhancing drug that got him suspended.

     Dolphins confirm Estefans involvement: Over a breakfast news conference this morning star-struck Dolphins owner Stephen Ross confirmed Miami husband-wife music-making team Gloria and Emilio Estefan now have a (very small) minority ownership stake in the franchise. Gloria already has recorded a version of "Are You Ready For Some Football" to be played at this season's two national ESPN games hosted by the Dolphins. As part of the ownership agreement, Dolfans queued at stadium concession stands will henceforth be said to be waiting in "Conga lines." Also, the Estefans' 28-year-old son, Nayib (pictured at right with his ma), becomes the team's starting left cornerback.

     Let me ask you something...: ...would it be sexist or in poor taste if I posted in my blog a photo such as the one to the left? See, I'm trying to start running more items having to do with golf and I felt this picture showed proper posture. (Not sure what the woman pictured shot on the front nine, but I think it was 44s).

     Wade, Zo tackle foreclosure crisis: Dwyane Wade and Alonzo Mourning are speaking in Miami black communities today as part of Hope Now Alliance's "Bring Hope Home" national bus tour informing lower-income folks how to get help if facing home foreclosure. Hopefully affected residents will follow Wade's personal advice for avoiding foreclosure, which to to become incredibly rich and positioned to sign a six-year, $120 million contract extension with the Heat.

     NCAA violations odds: BetUS.com odds on which school will be busted next for NCAA violations has USC (8-1) and Ohio State (9-1) on top, which Florida among schoolls at 10-1. FSU is there at 12-1. Miami is not among 25 schools listed. Take that, U-haters!

     Caution. Skool Zone!: City of Miami road stencilers misspelled "school" as "scohol" outside Goulds Elementary. Thought it was worth posting the proof before the city requisitions a dictionary and makes a correction.

     That'll do it for now.

OMG. U.S. stuns Spain; plus Wade 'n trade (for Bosh), Favre a Vike, greatest-sidekick poll, English-only & more

     [Click on Twitter.com/gregcote to follow us Tweet-wise. Click on Chatsville to join our live online chat Wednesdays from 1-2 p.m., to read past transcripts or to post a question/comment early].

      Stunning: U.S. shocks Spain 2-0 in soccer: The U.S. stunned world-No.1-ranked Spain 2-0 this afternoon in a semifinal of the FIFA Confederations Cup -- a huge shocker that must rank on a short list of the most impressive victories in international soccer history for the Americans. Spain had a record-tying streak 35 consecutive matches without losing, dating to November 2006, before today. There is a tendency, in international soccer, to think of the World Cup as the only event that matters, especially from the casual-fan perpsective held by most Americans. but this is a big tournament, and an even bigger win. Yeah I'll say it: "U-S-A! U-S-A!"

      Thoroughly unsolicited advice for Riley and Wade: Click here for today's column by me on the Heat. I'd like to see Miami accelerate the move from decent to contender by making moves this summer, not in 2010. That means a trade for Chris Bosh (interest is mutual) even if it meant giving up Michael Beasley. But only if Dwyane Wade would then commit to extend his contract this summer and not work the free-agent market in a year. By doing this you pair Wade-Bosh a year sooner and get to the future quicker. By waiting you make it tougher to get Bosh because competition for him will be more intense in a year. But enough about me. What do you think? (Notice I have tried my hardest to avoid discussing the Heat draft, which happens Thursday night. No first-round pick. Weak draft. Probably no Mario Chalmers this time).

      Favre in purple: Spreading wild across the Internet: Various reports that Brett Favre and the Vikings have an agreement in principle. Does that make a today a national holiday in Peter King's house? Think it makes the Vikings a little better, short-term. Think it helps Favre's legacy not a bit. Think a slew of Cheeseheads feel betrayed. Me? I'm just glad the protracted saga is (apparently) finally over. Let us now hear nothing more of Favre until his first three-pick day.

     Top sidekicks/second bananas poll: With Ed McMahon's passing the obvious impetus for this, name the No. 1 sidekick of all time. Our ballot only allows 10 answers, so we had to leave out the likes of Chewbacca, Donkey, Samwise Gamgee, Ethel Mertz, Dr. John Watson. Nobody from the world of sports stood out. Jim Kiick to Larry Csonka? Too parochial. Scottie Pippen to Michael Jordan? Can't bring myself to consign sidekick status to a player named one of the 50 greatest ever. (Who is sports' greatest or at least most prominent sidekick?) Poll time!

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      English first! (Spelling second): A group of very conservative people frightened by diversity thinks English should be declared the official language of the United States, and this group met over the weekend at a national conference at which far-right Pat Buchanan, Spokesman for the Far-Right White Community, was guest speaker. I don't know about this language mania. What I do know is this: When trying to come off like an intelligent, thoughtful group that should be taken seriously, it may be a good idea to not misspell the word "conference" on your big fancy sign.

     A-Rod not a villain, after all (in this case): Update to a previous blogpost's "A-Rod snubs former team" item on Alex Rodriguez reportedly not meeting with the 2009 state championship Westminster Christian team prior to Saturday's Yankees-Marlins game here. The Yankees now say neither they nor A-Rod were aware of the ceremony honoring the team, and that Derek Jeter just happened to be out there at the time. Neither did the Marlins inform the Yanks or A-Rod. So there. 

     Vontae Davis claims an identity swipe: Seems more and more likely the report of the arrest of Dolphins top pick Vontae Davis was bogus. Click here for the word straight from the man's very own blog. (Stolen wallet? What are the odds a cornerback would be picked?) If Vontae is right, the media is wrong here. What happens is, the more we see athletes arrested, the more numb we become to it, and the more believable every report becomes.

     Signs Barack Obama may be too enamored of sports stars: A recent guest was Tony Hawk, who skateboarded down a White House hallway. Seriously. I'm not sure which is sillier. That going on in the White House. Or the very idea of a 41-year-old man skateboarding. Give it up, Tony. Adulthood calls!

     That'll do it for now.

A-Rod snubs his old school; plus Neil Rogers, Wade v. Riley, fight video, Family Guy poll, Dolphins-Estefans, Mickelson & more

     [Twitter.com/gregcote]

     A-Rod snubs Westminster Christian: A mole tells us Yankee Alex Rodriguez snubbed his former school, Westminster Christian, when that school's baseball and softball teams were honored for the 2009 state championships prior to Saturday's Marlins-Yanks game here. Joe Girardi, Derek Jeter and others met with and congratulated the kids. A-Rod was a no-show despite direct requests through both clubs and through WC coach Rich Hofman. Well, so much for Alex's post-steroids image rebuilding. Then again, he had a great excuse. He was suffering fatigue, remember!? Greeting those kids would have been just too, too exhausting for the poor fella!

     The rap on Vontae Davis?: New broke today that the Dolphins' recent No. 1 draft pick was arrested June 9 in his old college town of Champaign, Ill., because his vehicle was too loud and he was driving without a valid license. But the Dolphin say Davis was here at a practice that day. We'll see how this shakes out.

     Uncle Neil off the air. OY!: WQAM just announced that longtime and legendary rant-radio fixture Neil Rogers is leaving the air by mutual agreement. That's big news in local Marconi wireless circles. Also a boost for rival 790 The Ticket, because Uncle Neil remained a ratings monstah. 'QAM plans to replace Neil with sports talk from 10-2 because, well, you know, there just are not nearly enough sports-yak blowhards in this market! ( :D ) Rogers says he has no plans to seek another on-air job, which means offers are invited and he'll be back on the air soon.

     Wade vs. Riley: Who blinks?: It's amusing, this little public back-and-forth between Heat prez Pat Riley and superstar Dwyane Wade. Riles say he won't make any major personnel moves until D-Wade signs a long-term contract. Wade can wait until 2010 to do that and says the Heat should make their moves now, not wait a year. Hmm. What's it all about? What will happen? Rest assured the people who are intensely watching include Chris Bosh. And should include Michael Beasley, too. I'll explore all of this in an upcoming column. What Riley and Wade do -- and whether they do it this summer or in '10 -- is all that matters with the Heat now. That's especially so with Miami having no first-round pick in this week's NBA Draft. Picking 43rd and 60th is not likely to mine a lot in the way of lasting talent, considering Rasual Butler is about the only Heat 2R pick this decade who amounted to much of anything, although Mario Chalmers from last year obviously looks promising.

     The Conga line forms here: Star-struck Dolphins owner Stephen Ross is expected to announce Thursday that Gloria and Emilio Estefan (pictured) -- voice and brains behind the Miami Sound Machine -- will be new minority partners in the Dolphins. Earlier Ross brought Jimmy Buffett into the fold. If this is a systematic march through every So-Fla celeb in the music business, I can only presume the Dolphins will somehow find a way to skip over Luther Campbell and 2 Live Crew.

     $pending big to keep Josh Johnson: The Marlins, not known for opening the wallet on long-term contracts with the exception of Hanley Ramirez, need to pull the trigger again for pitcher Josh Johnson, who is 14-2 since returning -- better than ever -- from surgery. This guy is a legitimate ace, and still only 25. He had better make the all-star team, at 7-1, with a 2.66 ERA and 3.7-1 K's/walks ratio. Johnson's agent said over the weekend it may take close to CC Sabathia money to sew up Johnson. Will the Marlins pony up? A major selling point of the new stadium was the increased revenue streams allowing competitive payrolls. That was tantamount to a good-faith promise.  Well, it looks like spending to keep Johnson will be a major test on whether Jeffrey Loria will put his money where his mouth is. [By the way, click here for a YouTube video of a fight in the stands at Sunday's Yanks-Marlins game].

     'Family Guy' poll: I love Family Guy. It's one of the few things on TV I try not to miss. This is one of those niche polls for people who feel as I do. My favorite character is a dead-heat between Brian and Peter, followed closely by Stewie and Quagmire. Weigh in.

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     Mickelson falls short: Phil Mickelson finished as U.S. Open runnerup for a record fifth time today, with Lucas Glover winning. Sorry, Luke, but outside of your family, I doubt many people in America wanted to see you deny Phil his emotional tribute to his cancer-stricken wife. Click here for my column on the U.S. Open finish, online now and shipping to Tuesday's paper.

       Pizza Hut becoming The Hut: Corporate rebranding for some reason fascinates me, like when Kentucky Fried Chicken over time became KFC and now plots to disassociate entirely from the once-iconic Colonel Sanders. The latest? Pizza Huts are dropping the 'Pizza' from their name and gradually becoming The Hut. Seriously. (See left). I doubt this is a good idea. The word 'hut' alone conjures the phrase "Quonset hut" (right) and invites the notion that when you enter a Hut restaurant you will dine in the humid squalor of Spartan, 1940s-era corrugated-metal army barracks and be served gruel by emaciated, time-warped prisoners of war.

     Cote Rules: Cycling: Guys, be a serious cyclist. Own an expensive bike. But, unless you are Lance Armstrong ascending the Alps, do not -- do not -- wear the colorful, logoed racing garb of a competitive cyclist. Seriously. Because, when you are biking on local roads looking like this guy here, 84 percent of the motorists who see you are thinking, "Dork," and struggling to resist a strong urge to "accidentally" run you into a ditch.

     That'll do it for now.

Finally! Boo or cheer A-Rod? (with poll); plus Dolphins forming choir, Kosar, US Open, NCAA screws Bobby & more

     HAPPY FATHER'S DAY to all my fellow Dads out there!

     [New studies indicate that people who are followers at Twitter.com/gregcote have zero incidence of swine flu and are thought to be better-looking than the general population].

     A referendum on A-Rod: Almost-native son Alex Rodriguez returns with the Yankees for a three-game  set vs. the Marlins and today -- finally! -- we get to see him actually play at BadBeer Stadium after he sat out the first two games with (!) fatigue. Click on The Circus Comes to Town for the column by me. This is our first chance to react to him since the revelation of his past steroid use. I don't count his Febuary appearance at the ceremony naming UM's baseball stadium after him, because that was a small, select audience of people cheering his donated millions.  The Sunday reaction will be a better gauge. How we forgiven? Forgotten? Do we still care? Take a dip in our poll.

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     Dolfans let your voices be heard!: Are you a Dolphin fan who sings well enough that the cat doesn't howl? The Dolphins are forming an 8-person a-capella vocal group to perform the national anthem at home games this season and also to make other appearances on behalf of the club. Feels like an epiphany of new entertainment-obsessed owner Stephen Ross. (Also feels like nobody in Ross' inner city has the spheroids to say, "Bad idea, Steve"). It isn't so much a bad idea as a weird one. An a-capella mini-choir sounds about as hip as a barbershop quartet and not exactly NFL-manly. Reminds me of the host of the recent Tony Awards singing, "This show couldn't be gayer if Liza Minelli were mayor." An a-capella troupe called Dolphin Voices? Really? What's next, the Dolphin Repertory Theatre Players? Anyway, if you are capable of singing credibly while sober and are interested, the open tryout will be Saturday, June 27 at 9:30 at BadBeer Stadium. Enter through Gate C.  

     Kosar is bankrupt: We told you here in the blog a couple of days ago it happened. Bernie Kosar filed for Chapter 11 bankruptcy protection in Miami, claiming assets of $1-10 million and liabilities of $10-50 million. A messy divorce and business failings helped sack the former UM quarterback. We wish him well. (Great piece on Kosar in today's paper by Dan Le Batard).

     NCAA screws Old Bobby: [Click on Saving Bobby for my column on this -- newly online and shipping to Saturday's paper]. The NCAA is allowing three termites to fell a giant redwood. I mean, C'MON!! An FSU tutor and two low-rank staff members feed some answers to athletes taking an online course in [bleep]ing music history (!) and THIS should rewrite college football history by denying Bobby Bowden his shot at the career wins mark? Really? So let me get this straight. A dumbass student-tutor whispers "Bach" to a backup left guard and now Bowden must forfeit 14 wins and cede the all-time crown to Joe Pa? It isn't right. There is no indication the football players involved had any vital role in any of those wins, nor was Bowden in any way involved in the fraud limited to a single course. FSU discovered this issue itself, turned itself in and cooperated fully, but with apparently no favorable mitigation. Punlishment was warranted, but probation and a reduction in scholarships was enough. Vacating wins is excessive. Bowden has worked 50 years to build and grow and earn a legacy, only to have a few pinheads on an infractions committee steal what is his. It's rotten.

     Tiger, Phil and, and, um...: Rain is messing with the U.S. Open at Bethpage Black (Clouds). The tournament includes Tiger Woods, gunning for his 15th major, and Phil Mickelson, playing in honor of his cancer-stricken wife, plus dozens of other guys nobody cares about.

     NFL's swift justice on Stallworth: I have no problem with NFL commisar Roger Goodell suspending Browns WR Donte Stallworth indefinitely without pay in the wake of the player pleading guilty to DUI-manslughter in Miami. Stallworth got off easy in the courts in large part because the victim's family did not press a harsher sentence in exchange for a big wad of money. But the league is free to mete out its own punishment, and is justified in this case. Bottom line: An NFL player driving drunk killed somebody. And he can't pay off the league, as he did the family, to leave it as a wrist-slap.

     Latest thanks...: ...for growing the product go out to Anchorage Daily News, Chicago Daily Herald, Kamloops (BC) This Week, Merced (CA) Sun-Star, OPENSports.com, Regina (Sask.) Leader-Post, Sacramento Bee, St. Louis Post-Dispatch, San Diego Union Tribune, Seattle Times, SportsBusiness Daily and as always 790 The Ticket. Even when they ask me to be interviewed while running on a treadmill.

Stallworth suspended indefinitely; plus greatest-athlete poll, D-Wade to White House, road rage, Fightin' Zos, Phelpstache & more

     [Chat: Thanks to all who celebrated our live-chat's move to Wednesdays! Join us every Wednesday from 1-2 p.m. or post a question at any time by clicking Chatcity. Twitter: Our latest followers include HurricaneSports, MiamiNewTimes and some local guy. What do they know that you don't? Twitter.com/gregcote]

     Update: NFL commish does what Miami-Dade judge didn't: The NFL late this afternoon suspended Browns receiver Donte Stallworth indefinitely without pay for the DUI-manslaughter guilty plea that brought only a one-month prison sentence from the Miami court system. In NFLspeak, Browns fans, I'm thinking that means half the season. At least. 

     The all-time greatest athlete is...: I say today in this column that it's Michael Jordan leading my list of the top 15 greatest athletes ever. The column is generating a ton of e-mail from readers offering there opinions, so I thought I'd divert the topic to the blog and throw in a poll as well. Note: The poll only allows 10 choices, so I whittled my top 15 to nine plus "other." After voting, drop a comment saying who you picked No. 1 and why.

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     Wade goes to Washington: Don't worry. It's not a trade. The Sun-Sentinel has the story today -- hey, credit where credit is due -- on the Heat's Dwyane Wade getting an invite to meet fly-killing President Obama (see item below) on Friday at the White House. Wade will speak to local youth in D.C. about achieving goals, then participate in a round-table discussion, all geared around Father's Day and responsibility. I suspect a quick game of 1-on-1 on the White House basketball court may happen as well. (Dear Mr. President: If you have time, in between hosting sports stars, could you please fix the economy? Thanks.) 

     Miami loses road-rage crown: Sad news. Miami, after four straight years leading the nation in road rage, has fallen to seventh in the latest poll, with New York, Dallas/Fort Worth and Detroit checking in 1-2-3 for angriest and most aggressive drivers. This is an outrage. How can Miami drivers -- augmented by all the transplanted New Yorkers down here -- not lead the league in tailgating, horns, fingers and guns? I demand a recount!

     Bernie Kosar's financial woes: We hear Bernie Kosar, former UM championship quarterback,  may announce today he is filing for bankruptcy. No jokes on this one.  Sorry to hear it. Bernie is a good guy and a local hero and we wish him well.

     Welcome to Mourning High, home of the Fightin' Zos!: Miami-Dade School Board votes today whether to name a new high school in North Miami after former U.S. Attorney General Janet Reno or retired Heat star Alonzo Mourning. Hmm. Now I love Zo and all the community work he does, but Reno, as the nation's first female attorney general, probably deserves the honor more. Who;'ll get it, though? I predict Mourning. Mainly because Reno angered many Miami Cubans by ordering 6-year-old Elian Gonzalez back to Cuba and the school board will pander to that.

     President Obama kills innocent fly: Barack Obama, during an interview with CNBC Tuesday in the East Room of the White House, swatted dead a nettlesome housefly that had lit on his left hand. Click on Swat Team for the video. You know, I always thought it would be fun to be a fly on the wall of the Oval Office. Not so sure anymore. No word yet whether PETA is planning an outraged protest, while a spokesfly (pictured) for the Musca Domestica Linnaeus Anti-Defamation League said that group is investigating the tragedy.

      Michael Phelpstache: Champion Olympic swimmer Michael Phelps is cultivating a mustache (pictured). Friends say it may be an attempt to disguise himself and avoid publicity in the wake of that bong photo/marijuana scandal. May we then say that Mike is moving from a stash to a 'stache? Swim experts worry that any facial hair runs counter to the concept of aerodynamics and slows a competitor's time -- one reason why, in the history of Olympic swimming, no medal has ever been won by a Hassidic rabbi.

     The past lives of Craig Minervini: South Florida's enduring sports broadcaster and a fixture on Florida Marlins telecasts, Minervini in the late 1980s went by the stage name Craig DeGeorge and did interviews with WWF's Superstars of Wrestling shows. He is pictured here in that early-career role. In the immortal words of Big Poppa: "If you don't know, now ya know, bloggaz."

Donte's DUI-death sentence: Right or light? (with poll); plus Sammy Sosa, Artie Lange

     [Click on Twitter.com/gregcote for free to follow along. And join us tomorrow from 1-2 p.m. as our live weekly chat moves to Wednesdays. Click on Chattytown to post a question at any time].

     Was justice done with Donte' Stallworth?: Cleveland Browns receiver Donte Stallworth pleaded guilty in Miami to DUI-manslaughter for striking and killing a man and today was sentenced to one month in jail, followed by two years' house arrest, eight years probation and 1,000 hours of community service. (News story here). The initial reaction of many will be outrage: "One month for killing a guy!?" But I think the overall sentence is fair considering Stallworth's prior clean record, his taking responsibility, the role victim Mario Reyes played in his own death, and also the monetary agreement reached with the family. Take a dip in our poll and offer your opinion.

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     Sammy Sosa took steroids. NOOOOO!!!!!!!!: The New York Times reports that Sammy Sosa tested positive for performance enhancing drugs in 2003. Gee, imagine that! Sosa, out of baseball and about to formally retire, announced last week he'll be awaiting his call from Cooperstown. Good luck on that wait, Sam. Maybe you can share the same waiting room with Bonds and McGwire. Keep each other company!

     The awful, fantastic debut of 'Joe Buck Live': Joe Buck's new show on HBO debuted last night and what people are talking about today about is how Artie Lange, the insult-comic from Howard Stern's show, hijacked Buck's show. Brett Favre was supposed to be the big guest. But Lange upstaging Buck was the TV gold that made the new show noteworthy out the box. Save the outrage, Joe. You can't buy pub like this. Besides, have you heard Artie Lange before? Are you familiar with Stern at all? Booking Lange and being surprised by the act is like swimming with a crocodile and being shocked by the bite marks.

Miami Cat Killer worse than Michael Vick; plus Hanley's whining, Dolphins & Kobe vs. MJ poll

      [Twitter.com/gregcote. Reminder: No chat today. Our live online chats move from Mondays to Wednesdays beginning this week]

    Cats and dogs, black and white: What the Miami Cat Killer is accused of doing is worse than what Michael Vick (right) has done time for doing. It won't get the national attention or have the same shelf-life for media interest because obviously a perp who happens to be a celebrity NFL quarterback tends to draw a spotlight. But I wonder if race will also be a factor in the general comparative reaction. I think the reaction to Vick's crime was somewhat magnified unfairly because he is black. Now, I wonder if the reaction to accused Miami Cat Killer Tyler Hayes Weinman, 18 (pictured left), will be less outraged than it should be because is young, clean-cut -- and white.

     I say Weinman's alleged crimes are worse than Vick's because murder was the express purpose in the cat killings, which were heinous (eyes gouged out, snouts cut off, etc.) and meant to horrify the pets' families. Vick's canine killings were a result of a dogfighting operation. Both are horrible. Dead is dead. But the cat killings were premeditated and first degree. Vick did serious time. I'll be following intently to see how the sentence Weinman is given -- if found guilty -- compares.

     (As an aside, I read that Weinman's divorced parents are a dentist and a "life coach." Taking a wild guess, I'm thinking that being a divorced life coach with a son accused of cat-mutilating cannot be good for business. It'd be sort of like hiring a personal trainer who's fat and smokes).

     Hanley Ramirez's bad timing: C'mon, Hanley! The Marlins are finally showing signs of life, winning three straight in Toronto and leapfrogging Atlanta into third in the NL East and instead of good feelings there is controversy because Ramirez got hit by a pitch Sunday and his team failed to respond with outrage. What, you wanted a bench-clearing brawl? The issue boiled to the point manager Fredi Gonzalez booted reporters from the clubhouse for pressing questions on the matter. Hanley may have been right. The HBP may have been intentional. And maybe it did call for Fredi to jaw at the ump a little. But Ramirez going all me-first with public emotion and blame-casting hurts the team just when it seems to be righting itself.    

     The Dolphins. Men of Mystery: Click here for today's column by me on the Dolphins as the team wraps up its minicamp work and pretty much leaves the stage until reconvening for training camp in late July. The no-pads/no-hitting time of year tells us very little about a team, and so nobody -- not Tony Sparano, not me, not you -- knows how good Miami might be this season. 

     Let the vilifying of Van Gundy begin!: Magic got spanked in the NBA Finals, with Lakers taking the series 4-1 in Mousteown last night, and so now I suppose the bashing of Orlando coach Stan Van Gundy should be expected. It'd be dumb, though. L.A. won because it is clearly better and because Kobe Bryant was the best player in the series by far and because the next best was Pau Gasol, not Dwight Howard. The only legit quibble with Van Gundy is that he forced Jameer Nelson back into his guard mix and that didn't work. But that wasn't the difference. Kobe was. Now take our poll. Does his latest championship, this one Shaq-free, push Kobe over the top as the NBA's greatest player ever or does Michael Jordan still wear that crown? 

Dolphins should sign Michael Vick. Yes? (with poll); plus Penguins, Riley, Magic, Marlins & more

     [It's free, and the key-striking energy it takes to sign up will help you burn an estimated two calories: Twitter.com/gregcote]

     Should the Dolphins sign Michael Vick?: Atlanta has relinquished contactual rights to the out-of-prison Michael Vick, and that's a big step. Means a team can now sign him with no compensation due the Falcons. And it's a buyer's market, meaning he'll come cheap because the dogfighting thing makes him such a public-relations risk. As the NFL weighs lifting his suspension, now is the time for teams to seriously consider signing Vick. I say Miami should. He would be perfect for the Wildcat. He is what the Dolphins dream Pat White becomes. (I mean football-wise, not pit bull-wise). Yes or no, then? Should the Dolphins be interested in Vick? Take a dip in our poll.

     [Update: Vick-to-Patriots rumors are out there. Click here. Vick wants a starting-QB job but obviously would take what he can get. Miami and the Wildcat would be a perfect opportunioty to showcase himself ro a year and then go elsewhere].

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     Pat Riley to Cavaliers! Or not: This is what happens in the Internet age, where the most innocuous, baseless speculation in some distant blog (or even in a Tweet!) can metasticize to the point it masquerades as actual news. That's why Heat bossman Pat Riley had to issue a firm denial of speculation that first bloomed in a New York Daily News blog about him maybe taking over for supposedly embattled Cleveland coach Mike Brown. Riley is pictured here making the international gesture for "Shhh" in an effort to quiet silly rumors. As for Brown being in trouble? That'd be the same Brown who just won NBA coach of the year. An even bigger reason why he's safe: LeBron James likes him. Period.

     Penguins rule ice kingdom: Watched the end of Game 7 at the Hard Rock Casino bar last night and it was exciting enough and big enough to draw in even non-hockey fans. Big events. Electric. Pittsburgh had a spotty regular season and struggled to make the layoffs before achieving serendipity when it mattered. As for the Red Wings? Well, one more reason to feel depressed about living in Detroit. 

     Poof! Magic disappears: Speaking of the NBA, after choking away that overtime lead and falling behind 3-1 in the Finals last night, the Orlando Magic and coach Stan Van Snakebit now officially have zero chance to overcome the L.A. Lakers for the title. By zero chance I mean you hitting the Lotto, or trying to find a lost contact lens on the beach.

     Marlins draft: The Marlins this week drafted several dozen players nobody has ever heard of. That's the nature of the MLB draft, and the reason why it will never be remotely as big as the NFL or NBA drafts. Florida's first-round pick was an 18-year pitcher, Chad James, from Yukon, Okla. Hey, welcome, Chad! We'll see you in four or five years. Maybe. (Chad is pictured at right, looking sort of sad, like he's on the verge of tears. Maybe he just found out what the Marlins' signing-bonus offer was).

     Online chat moving to Wednesdays: Our weekly live online chat is moving from Mondays to Wednesdays beginning June 17. Time will still be 1-2 p.m. Clicks on Chatsville to join live, read transcripts or post a question at any time.

Name Dolphins' biggest rival (with poll); plus Magic finds pulse, Tom Brady overboard & more

     [Have you heard? President Obama says the best way a small, private individual like yourself can help boost the economy is to sign up to follow along at Twitter.com/gregcote]

     OK. So who IS the Dolphins' biggest rival?: Loving this offseason smack-chattin' among the Dolphins, Jets and Patriots, especially this latest volley between Dolphins linebacker Channing Crowder and Jets coach Rex Ryan as detailed in this story by our own Jeff Darlington. Close call whether Crowder or Joey Porter will lead the team in tackles and strong quotations this year. Keep yappin', fellas. Ryan acted like he wasn't even aware of Crowder and said, "All I now is he's all tatted up, so I guess I ought to be nervous." Dear Rex: Most players in the NFL and even more in the NBA, particularly the black guys, have tattoos. Welcome to today, Whitey! Crowder responded by admonishing Ryan for not knowing a starting LB in his own division and instructing him, "Learn who your rival is." So that got me thinking: Hey, an easy idea for a blog poll! Take a dip in our poll. By the way, I included the Bills just to be polite, although the additon of Terrell Owens can't but help ramp up that series back closer to Shula-era intensity as well.

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     I WENT TO ORLANDO AND ALL I GOT WAS THIS LOUSY COLUMN: Here it is, off last night's game. Sort of. Because of deadlines I had to file at 10 p.m. (mid-second quarter), with scant time to rewrite upon the result. The Magic had it easier than I did, and they barely escaped. I still think Lakers win in 6 games, but at least it's a series now.

     Tom Brady gets all wet without meaning to: Patriots QB Tom Brady flipped his rented kayak and had to be fished out of the Charles River, according to this report in the Boston Herald. Either that, or he was intentionally provided a faulty vessel by Sparano Kayak Rentals.

     It's axiomatic...: You know how they say you wash your car and it's guaranteed to rain? Here's a new one. I bench somebody from my fantasy team and he's guaranteed to perform. Latest example: Jeremy "Walkoff Homer" Hermida.

     Barry Bonds' marital news: Barry Bonds' wife has filed for a legal separation after 10 years' marriage. Geez, and things had been going so well for Barry.

     The return (eventually) of Hialeah Park: South Florida's historic horseracing plant, closed since 2001, plots its comeback. It will reopen, no date or even year yet, with quarterhorse racing but in time get back to the full thoroughbreds. The now-requisite casino also is envisioned. I cheer these plans. In its day Hialeah Park was a gorgeous place to visit and its absence has left a void.

     The Sports Authority. But not the number authority: Saw an advertisement by The Sports Authority pushing replica Dan Uggla jerseys, with the ad picturing Uggla's No. 8 jersey. Minor problem: Uggla wears No. 6. I think while I'm in there I'll also pick up a vintage Dan Marino No. 17 jersey.

     Nod to North Miami Beach High: The NFL has announced that NMB was one of only 12 high schools, and the only local one, with two players drafted recently. They were defensive backs Louis Delmas (Lions, 22nd round) and E.J. Biggers (Bucs, 7r).

     Jimmy Johnson update: Nothing new to report, although we're pretty sure laid-back Jimmy continues today to again live life to the fullest and be much happier than the rest of us.

     Check back. Adding more stuff here later.

Who's right on how good Dolphins will be? (with poll); plus Lakers up 2-0, JJ's monkey, Tonys, Federer, Rios video & more

     LIVE ONLINE CHAT TODAY/MONDAY 1-2 PM! Click here to join live or post question at any time.

     [Our recently added followers include USA Today columnist Christine Brennan, Fort Lauderdale's "Off the Hookah" bar and the retired CEO of Atlas Pen & Pencil Corporation. What do they know that you don't? Twitter.com/gregcote]

      Great expectations? Modest hopes? Weigh in, Dolfans: There is no NFL city more than Miami where expectations for the 2009 season vary so wildly. The experts are in near agreement that a healthy Tom Brady, coupled with the Dolphins' much-tougher schedule, makes New England the team to beat in the AFC East. The Las Vegas over/under on Miami wins is only eight, lowest of any 2008 playoff team. But Dolphin players -- notably LBs Joey Porter and Channing Crowder -- have taken umbrage and say the experts are wrong. Take a dip in our poll and let us know realistically why your expectations are where they are.    

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     [Blogpoll commentary: MAN, you all are optimistic!]

     Lakers win again, grab 2-0 lead: Won't be a 25-point blowout like Game 1 was, but I see L.A. winning at home again to put Team Van Gundy in a deep hole. And they did! It was 101-96 in OT. Magic had a chance to win it in regulation but Courtney Lee blew a layup of an alley-oop pass. Not discounting Orlando altogether from here, but still liking my pre-Finals pick of Lakers in 7.

     Monday fantasy-baseball update: Adler's Marlsox sit in third place of 10 teams with 58 points, but it's a nnervous perch. A charging herd is right behind, with the next four teams all bunched between 57.5 and 55 points.

      Jimmy Johnson stopped by airport security carrying monkey: But it was only a dream! Today's big Herald piece on Johnson (click Happy JJ to read) confirms it: Johnson has moved up the charts into second place, now trailing only laid-back icon Jimmy Buffett, on the list of people who have gotten the most mileage out of their carefree, happier-than-us, fishin' 'n flip-flops lifestyle.

      Straight man looking forward to Tony Awards: Yes I am. I am looking forward to the Tony Awards for Broadway plays on TV tonight mainly to see if the Elton John musical Billy Elliot sweeps as expected. There. I said it, OK? By the way, who the hell is Tony!? I looked it up. Tony -- actually Toni -- was the nickname of a long-ago Denver actress, Antoinette Perry (pictured right as a child), who later was a successful producer and director in an era when women rarely had those roles. So why aren't they the Toni Awards? I think I'm starting to spend too much time thinking about this. [Thus concludes the single most non-sports item ever to appear in this blog].

     Federer conquers clay, clay pigeon: Roger Federer today won his first French Open and tied Pete Sampras with a 14th career major, dispatching some guy who was ill-prepared to give him a decent match, as well as a loony fan (left) who ran onto the court thinking it would be a good idea to try to put a silly hat on Federer. Should we be beholden to that majors record, though, by saying Federer and Sampras or either are the greatest ever? I dunno but it doesn't quite feel like it to me. And in other tennis news...

     Woman gives birth to two-set victory: In the French women's final between two Russians, all of that grunting made the match sound like childbirth. Either that or the throes of passion that lead to childbirth. I felt like a voyeur. How about a little modesty, women? Can't you strike a damned tennis ball without such an unladylike display of audible exertion? Imagine if we had that in other sports: Kobe Bryant releases a jumper with a superloud UNNNGHH! Hanley Ramirez swings at a curve with a blood-curdling AARRGGH!

     Alex Rios video: Click here for what can happen when a fan says the wrong thing to a ballplayer the night after he went 0-for-5 with five strikeouts. Warning: F-bombs.  

     Red Wings' champagne on ice: Detroit up 3-2 over Penguins heading into Tuesday's Game 6 in Pittsburgh. Age taking Youth to school. Octupi ready! 

Love,

Twitter.com/gregcote

Kobe's beef: I'm still the greatest! Is he? (with poll); plus Dolphin co-MVPs, Obama dog, 300, Sosa, Berman & more

     [Our recent Twitter followers include WPLG sports guy Will Manso, the Florida Marlins and cookbook author Beverly Mills. What do they know that you don't? Twitter.com/gregcote]

     New evidence that Kobe still the greatest: Lakers take Game 1 of the NBA Finals over Orlando in L.A. last night on the wing of Kobe Bryant's 40 points. Interesting dynamic at play here. Kobe hears all this fan and media chatter about how he's no longer the best. Hears that LeBron "King" James has taken over. Hears that Dwight "Superman" Howard is the man now. Heck, if he's listening in So Fla, he even hears that Dwyane Wade may be better. I thought with his performance last night that Kobe Bryant was pretty much telling everybody that -- even in his 13th season and turning 31 in August -- he might still be better than anybody. Take a dip in our poll, and, Heat fans, try as best you can to be honest, OK?

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     (By the way, Wade suing his former business partner for $100 million will come as no surprise to readers of this blog. Click here for our Feb. 11 post on that).

     Pennington, Porter are Dolphins co-MVPs: QB Chad Pennington and LB Joey Porter were announced as Dolphins' co-MVPs for the 2008 season at a media brunch today at Joe's Stone Crab, one of my favorite restaurants. Pennington also won the leadership award, while LB Akin Ayodele (community service) and RB Ronnie Brown (courage) also were winners. By the way, since I had a conflict and was unable to attend the brunch at Joe's, anybody in the media who did is a [bleep]ing, soul-selling whore!

     Bulletin: Another Mourning dawning: Alonzo and Tracy Mourning announced last night they are expecting their third child. Congrats! Good people. By the way, there is a hip-hop song out called "I'm a Zoe." Apparently "Zoe" is street-slang for gangsta or some such. Say it ain't so, Zo!

     Overlooked 'boutique' column begs readers: People sometimes ask how I go about choosing column topics. It varies. Sometimes it is event-driven. Sometimes it is imagining what people want to read. Other times it is what interests me. Today's column -- click on Calvin Borel -- fits the latter category. I know a column analyzing the Dolphins' backup long-snapper situation would have been be better-read (anything Dolphins sells itself in this market), but this is a tale, on the eve of the Belmont, that I find worth telling.

     Former Mullet King rolls 300: Congrats to Giants pitcher Randy Johnson on his 300th victory yesterday. He may be the last in our lifetimes to do it. No? Then click on this list of active wins leaders and tell us who else might? (See! Nobody).   

     Ralph Wilson taps Chris Berman: Buffalo Bills founding owner Ralph Wilson, 90, has selected profusely sweating, madly gesticulating ESPN punster Chris Berman (left) to deliver his Hall of Fame induction speech in Canton this year. Which may answer once and for all whether Wilson still has all his faculties.

OBAMA PUPPY ATTACKS REPORTER'S MICROPHONE, IS PUT TO SLEEP

     Washington, D.C. (Faked-Up News) -- I mean the reporter, not the puppy. (Click here for story and video on the lovable antics of First Dog Bo).

     Sammy Sosa set to retire: Sammy already sort of was retired via universal lack of interest in him, but announced in Santo Domingo that he plans to make it official. Thus will begin the five-year clock until he is first eligible to be denied entry into Cooperstown because of a widely held belief that he was in the steroids wheelhouse circa Mark McGwire/Rafael Palmeiro/Barry Bonds. Said Sosa: "I will calmly wait for my induction to the Baseball Hall of Fame." Hey, good luck on that, Sam! (Pictured left, the cover on baseball saviors McGwire and Sosa that Sports Illustrated might like to have back).

     Blog exclusive that nobody cares about!: Been told that Parade magazine's yet-to-be-announced 2009 boys' and girls' high-school All-American soccer teams will include two local boys, Hasani Sinclair of American Heritage and home-schooled Stefan Jerome, and with one girl, Kelsey Wys of Douglas.

     Houston? We have a problem: Word is out that on Sept. 1, warbler-turned-druggie Whitney Houston, once the hottest thing in pop music but now a high-mileage has-been at 45, prepares to drop her first new CD in seven years. And iiiiiiiiii-eeeeeiiiii-eeeeeiiiiiiiiii don't give a crap.

     Man sues strip club, risks lifetime of ribbing from friends: Click on Dangers of Nude Dancing for the harrowing tale.

     Love,

     Twitter.com/gregcote

Ma nature screws Marlins; plus David Carradine, Greatest Music Decade (with poll), & more

     [Our most recent Twitter followers include PGA Tour golfer John Daly, the Versace Mansion and a Dutch band called Driftkickers. What do they know that you don't? Twitter.com/gregcote]  

     R.I.P., Grasshopper...: I used to think people who committed suicide were cowards. I don't anymore. I still think people who commit murder/suicide are cowards. But the regular suicides deserve our understanding -- even as understanding usually is elusive. Why, David Carradine? Why?

     Mother nature screws Marlins: Nobody was sadder than the Marlins about last night's Giants-at-Nationals rain postponement that will mean a doubleheader today. Had Randy Johnson (pictured) pitched for San Fran last night as scheduled and lost or gotten a no-decision, he would have gone for career win No. 300 Monday night vs. the Marlins right here at BadBeer Stadium. That would have been a true event portending a huge crowd even in blase So Fla. Instead, he'll pitch today and not at all in the Giants series here. Means we are robbed of a great shot at seeing history. Johnson could be the last pitcher to win 300, considering next on the active list are Jamie Moyer with 250 at ancient 46 and Andy Pettitte with 220 at a sharp-declining 37. Most wins by a twirler under 30? A mere 122 by CC Sabathia at 28.

     Twitter taking over sports world like giant moth eating Tokyo: Twitter is blowing up, and if you still don't know what Twitter is, get with it Granpappy! Prominent athletes like Shaquille O'Neal and Lance Armstrong have famously successful Twitter followings, while, at the other extreme the phenomenon is ripe for fakery. My paper had a piece in which Dolphins QB Chad Pennington proclaims he does not Twitter and that the person pretending to be him is an imposter. Pictured right, in a blog exclusive, is an action photo of the fake Chad Pennington in mid-Tweet. Also comes news that Cardinals manager Tony LaRussa (click here for story) is suing Twitter over a fake purporting to be him. As an experiment I Twitter-searched names of two randomly picked local athletes, Dan Uggla and Daequan Cook, to see what I'd find. There is one (likely fake) Dan Uggla who turns up with 45 followers despite have posted zero Tweets. There is no Daequan Cook. So get on it, imposters! Curious what athletes you follow on Twitter and how you trust they aren't fakes. In light of these scandals I would like to assure my own meager yet inexplicably growing Twitter following that it really is me at Twitter.com/gregcote, mainly because I am not popular enough to have spawned an imposter. (This concludes a blog item that ostensibly was about athletes Twittering but actually was a flimsily veiled vehicle to plug my own Twitter page).

     Panthers changing owners: Our NHL team's majority owner, Alan Cohen (pictured), is in the process of selling the club (and arena) to a New York-based consortium called Sports Properties Acquisition Corporation. My take? With no playoff appearance since 2000 and no playoff win since 1997, any change has got to be better than what we've had. Click on Cats For Sale for today's column by me.

     Corporate-sponsored NFL jerseys on way: King Sport quietly has approved allowing a 3.5x4.5-inch ccorporate patch on team practice jerseys, surely a dreadful precursor to a 'Your Ad Here' deal on game-day jerseys in the forseeable future. "Row, row, row your boat down the revenue stream, merrily, merrily, merrily, merrily, it's enough to make you scream."

     Musical tastes within blog: This is one one of those offbeat little sidetrips where we get to remind each other that, although we love sports, we don't love only sports. Take a dip in our poll on what you think has been the best decade for pop music. Also volunteer who have been the favorite music artists in your life. My list might include John Anderson, Beach Boys, Beatles, Beck, Brendan Benson, Chuck Berry, Dire Straits, Dylan, Eagles, Eminem, Marvin Gaye, Al Green, Elton John, Kid Rock, Kinks, Led Zep, Bob Marley, Police, Elvis Presley, Raconteurs, R.E.M., Stones, Sinatra, Snoop Dogg, Springsteen, Staple Singers, Sublime, UB40, White Stripes, Hank Williams Jr. and Stevie Wonder. To name a few. You?

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     Lakers favored, so why bother playing?: BetUS.com has Lakers favored at 5/9 with Magic at 21/10. Kobe Bryant is 1/3 to win NBA Finals MVP, followed by Dwight Howard at 11/4. Still looking for a line on who Shaquille O'Neal will be rooting hardest against: old cartoon-rival Kobe or the coach he called a "master of panic," Stan Van Gundy. (Shaq says he roots for Kobe. but none too enthusiastically, I'm sure).

     Dolphins release receiver I'd never heard of: Fare thee well, Todd Lowber. Fare thee well.

     Penguins taken off endangered list: So much for that 4-0 Red Wings sweep in the Stanley Cup Finals. Pittsburgh lives, now down just 2-1. With the Pens' big win and what looks like a 7-game NBA Finals in Lakers-Magic starting Thursday, I got to wondering what have been the most recent 4-0 championship sweeps in hockey, basketball and baseball. The answer: MLB Red Sox over Rockies (2007), NBA Spurs over Cavaliers (2007), and NHL Red Wings over Capitals (1998). 

     Beware the little-known perils of the unnaturally bronze appearance!: Been following that local murder trial in which a man is accused of strangling his wife? The latest defense strategy is to claim the woman died from poison in a spray-on tan! Evidently defense attorneys couldn't think of an even less-believable claim, so they went with that.

Lakers-Magic: Black Mamba slays Superman. Agree? (with poll); plus Jacques dumps Cats, Canes pack it in & more

     [One of my latest followers on Twitter is Deadspin. What does Deadspin know that you don't? Twitter.com/gregcote. By the way, thanks to all who joined our online chat today. We do it Mondays from 1-2. Click here to join live or to post questions at any time.]

     Kobe Bryant and the Lakers turned back Denver 4-2 and then last night Dwight Howard and the Magic eliminated the Cleveland LeBrons by the same 4-2 series score.

     So the NBA, TV and Nike get half of their dream Finals, the Kobe half. Sorry, LeBron. Wonder if Nike has a Muppet version of Stan Van Gundy ready? 

     What do you think of this Finals matchup? Who wins and why? I am inclined to say L.A. in 7 but not at all sure, Should be a good one. Definitely find myself rooting for Orlando, partly because I like Van Gundy, a blast of fresh air, and partly because this is clear Goliath/David stuff, with L.A. having mined nine NBA titles from 22 Finals appearances, and the Magic a bereft 0-for-1 (1995).

     Take a dip in our poll and tell us why you voted as you did. (And does who you want to win differ from who you think will?)

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     Jacque dumps Panthers for Montreal: Panthers GM Jacques Martin (pictured) today leaves the club to become head coach of the Montreal Canadiens. Can't blame Jacques, leaving a place where hockey is an afterthought for a city where hockey is passionately embraced. Can't give Jacques much of a parting gift, though, either. His five years here, as coach, GM or both, were an ultimate failure. He was here to end the long playoff drought. He failed.

     UM ends disappointing season on diamond: Jim Morris -- pictured here either kicking a game-winning field goal or displaying displeasure over a call -- knows the routine. Unless you get to Omaha around here, it's a down year. And so it was for the Canes, who once were over-ranked in the top five but who disappointed in the ACC and then in the NCAA regional. Spare me the fire-Morris histrionics, but we'll admit Jim has some work (i.e. recruiting) to do to make Miami a national player again and a major factor in a good baseball conference.

     Fantasy baseball update: My Adler's Marlsox begin the week in a season-high second place in our 10-team league, with 61 1/2 points. No time for bragging, though. A handful of teams are within a handful of points so it's been a wild ride.

     Check back. Adding more stuff to this post later.

Tell Ronnie Brown how good he is (with poll); plus Canes win, Manny's semi-suspension, NBA, laodicean & more

     [A new report by the Surgeon General today indicates the five biggest factors in avoiding a heart attack are family history, regular checkups, not smoking, exercise and heathy diet, and signing up for free to follow along at Twitter.com/gregcote]

     The referendum on Ronnie Brown: OK we know by now that Dolphins running back Ronnie Brown offers pretty standard athlete confidence when he is asked by reporters if he is an elite back and he essentially says well-yeah-sure-I-mean-you-have-think-like-that. Saying, "I want my name to be in that group" and "My goal is to be the best I can be" ain't exactly plowing new ground in bragadoccio. So I would put it to readers and Dolfans: How good is Ronnie? How has drafting him worked out for Miami on a scale of superstar to bust? A back entering his fifth pro year may fairly be judged, and I'd say Brown (click here for his career stats) clearly is not in the elite category if you define that by what LaDainian Tomlinson has been and what Adrian Peterson is. But he has been pretty solid, pretty good -- maybe not enough yet to justify being drafted No.2 overall, but closer to a strong pick than a bust. What do you say? Take a dip in our poll.

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     UM wins to launch regional play: It was Canes beating Jacksonville 9-4 this afternoon up in G'ville, putting UM in winner's bracket entering Saturday action. Miami, with a so-so 36-21 record and coming off a disappointing ACC tournament, needs to advance to the super-regional round to begin to put a smile on this season. 

     When suspended doesn't actually mean suspended: Much is being made of the idea that suspended Dodger Manny Ramirez (currently fourth in voting) could be elected to start in the All-Star Game, which is played 11 days after his suspension ends July 3. A bigger embarrassment less known: Manny is about to join one of L.A.'s minor-league teams for a couple of weeks of games. Apparently suspensions don't cover the minors. Dumb. Manny should not be playing, period, until after July 3. Not in the minors. Not in the all-star game.   

     Hope for LeBron v. Kobe yet: Much to the delight of the NBA, TV and Nike, that once-expected Lakers-Cavaliers championship series is looking better now than it did a couple of days ago. L.A. closed out Denver tonight/Friday night 4-2. And Cleveland drew within 3-2 with last night's must-win led by LeBron James' monstah triple-double. Afterward you saw LeBron and Jay-Z courtside, and it was Jay-Z with the awe-struck smile. I was rooting for underdog Denver and am still for Orlando and my boy Stan Van Frumpy. Hey how about a list! Orlando is trying to join this chronological list of 13 teams from the state of Florida that have been in a championship game in the big-four pro leagues:

1971   Dolphins             Lost Super Bowl to Dallas

1972   Dolphins             Won Super Bowl over Washington

1973   Dolphins             Won Super Bowl over Minnesota

1982   Dolphins             Lost Super Bowl to Washington

1984   Dolphins             Lost Super Bowl to San Francisco

1995   Magic                 Lost NBA Finals to Houston

1996   Panthers             Lost Stanley Cup to Colorado

1997   Marlins               Won World Series over Cleveland    

2002   Buccaneers        Won Super Bowl over Oakland

2003   Marlins               Won World Series over New York

2004   Lightning             Won Stanley Cup over Calgary

2006   Heat                   Won NBA Finals over Dallas

2008   Rays                  Lost  World Series to Philadelphia

     Indian-American rules spelling bee as usual: Kavya Shivashankar, 13 (pictured), last night became the seventh Indian-American in the past 11 years to win the Scripps National Spelling Bee. She correctly spelled "laodicean," which means indifference in religion or politics. I'd be more impressed if Kavya was smart enough to explain to the rest of us why Brooke Hogan is putting out another album.    

     Failing with its own players, NFL trying to develop character in youth: The Dolphins and their Davie HQ will be a host site this summer for one of the sessions in the NFL's High-School Player Development Program, in which local prep players are taught character devlopment and life skills. Taking a wild guess and imagining Randy Starks will not be one of the Dolphins offering the kids his guidance. Thinking the NFL needs to develop character in too many of its own miscreant players before getting around to the preppies.

     Bumper stickers I'd like to see: Honk If You've Taken the SAT For Derrick Rose.

Love,

Twitter.com/gregcote

Dogs, hot dogs, aces or bees? (with poll); plus Heat fomenting chaos, repeat repeat finals, JJ parties & more

     [Twitter.com/gregcote]

     Choosing your least unfavorite televised non-sport: The Scripps-Howard National Spelling Bee puts a bunch of brainy/nerdy 9- to-14-year-olds in the national TV spotlight tonight. Recently there was the Westminster Kennel Club show getting similar treatment. Soon will come the also-televised World Series of Poker and the Fourth of July hot dog-eating contest. 'Tis the season for ESPN to broaden the parameters of what "sports programming" means. Am I missing anything? Any chess tournaments coming up? Which of the four events mentioned would you be most likely to watch if you had a free hour and had to watch one of them? Take a dip in our poll.

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     Heat unveils major initiative to distract drivers, cause mayhem: The Heat's downtown bayside arena has unveiled a 3,400-square-foot LED digital motion-picture display that will constantly emit messages and images (including advertising) from the arena's western front facing Biscayne Boulevard. Great. Because, you know, Miami didn't have enough traffic congestion, bad drivers and road rage as it was, so offering careening, text-messaging motorists an additional three-story-high, major distraction probably was a smart idea.

     List of repeat title games, list of repeat title games: The upcoming Detroit Red Wings-Pittsburgh Penguins Stanley Cup Finals rings familiar because it is a repeat of last year's NHL championship series. Got us to wondering how often that happens in the big-four pro leagues. Cue research. Answer: Not very. This is the NHL's 12th repeat in 91 years. NBA has had 12 in 62 years, NFL 9 in 76 years, and MLB 9 in 106 years. That's a total of 42 in 335 combined years, or an average of once every eight years. More recently, since 1970, it has averaged only once every 14 years. The three most recent championship rematches in each sport:

     NHL: 2008/09---Detroit Red Wings-Pittsburgh Penguins; 1983/84---Edmonton Oilers-New York Islanders; 1977/78---Boston Bruins-Montreal Canadiens.

     NBA: 1997/98---Chicago Bulls-Utah Jazz; 1988/89---Detroit Pistons-Los Angeles Lakers; 1984/85---Boston Celtics-Los Angeles Lakers.

     NFL: 1992/93---Buffalo Bills-Dallas Cowboys; 1961/62---Green Bay Packers-New York Giants; 1958/59---Baltimore Colts-New York Giants.

     MLB: 1977/78---Los Angeles Dodgers-New York Yankees; 1957/58---Milwaukee Braves-New York Yankees; 1955/56---Brooklyn Dodgers-New York Yankees.

     The only occurences of three championship matchups in a row have been once each in the NFL (Cleveland Browns-Detroit Lions, 1952-54) and MLB (New York Giants-New York Yankees, 1921-23).

        JJ in party mode: Former UM football coach Jimmy Johnson -- imprimatur of ebullience, benefactor of Heinekin -- parties in a sombrero at the recent grand opening of his JJ's Big Chill restaurant/tiki bar in the Upper Keys. Reveling attendees included current Canes coach Randy Shannon, TV yukmate Terry Bradshaw, Texas Tech football coach Mike Leach and several women who appeared to be surgically augmented not that there's anything wrong with that.

     Soccer briefly rears head: Barcelona defeated Manchester United 2-0 to win the European soccer championship. From what I saw of the match it wasn't so much the Spaniards' brilliance as it was Wayne Rooney and Man U disappearing. Guessing at least one of the British tabs offered -- or should have -- the headline MAN BLEW.

     Tennis star weighs pair of big decisions: Young Romanian tennis star Simona Halep (pictured) reportedly is considering having breast-reduction surgery because she worries her chestiness is an impediment to her game. I say don't do it, Simona! If Serena Williams can reach the top despite some decided topsy-ness, so can you!

     Down year for local baseball prospects: The only three guys from So-Fla schools in Baseball America's latest Top 100 Draft Prospects list for 2009 are No. 68 Archbishop McCarthy High pitcher Dane Williams, No. 75 Ferguson High catcher Steven Baron, and No. 80 UM shortstop Ryan Jackson. A year ago there were seven locals in the Top 100 including No. 7 Eric Hosmer of American Heritage and No. 12 Yonder Alonso of UM.

      Poker news: Attended the monthly 790 The Ticket poker tournament at Dania Jai-Alai last night, drawn not so much by the chance to hang out with Dan LeBatard as by the dollar beers. The final table of 10 (pictured above) agreed to split the pot. Which is lame, by the way. Play it out for chri'sakes! What's next? The two Super Bowl teams agreeing pregame to be declared co-champions? Highlight of the photo? For me it's the guy inspecting his Coors Light bottle obliterating the view of LeBatard. 

Ways That Dwyane Wade Is Not Like Us (one in a series)

Twitter.com/gregcote

What should Dolphins do with Randy Starks? (with poll); plus Anquan Boldin development, surprising NBA, horrific toilet paper & more

     [Twitter.com/gregcote]

     A Nuggets-Magic Finals?: The Lakers and their fans should be very concerned today that Carmelo Anthony felt and played like [bleep] last night and still the Denver Nuggets beat L.A. pretty convincingly. Likewise, over in the East, Orlando is giving every indication it may be a better team than Cleveland. You know that Kobe Bryant-LeBron James duel in the Finals that seemed so inevitable? Looking more like a Denver-Orlando Finals at the moment. Quick aside to TV: Enough with the Chris "Birdman" Andersen (left) fascination, already! Also, I must say the rapper Birdman (right) does not appear very happy about his name being appropriated.

      Sports' latest dumbass: Dolphin Randy Starks: [Click here for new column by me on athletes behaving badly]. At some point over the long Memorial Day Weekend, marginal young Dolphins defensive end Randy Starks (pictured in Miami Beach police portait) apparently thought to himself it would be a good idea to drive the Freightliner (an example of which is pictured) in bumper-to-bumper traffic around midnight on South Beach. With 13 people jammed into a truck cab designed to hold four. Including a woman on his lap. Further it would be neat, thought Randy, apparently, to ignore a policeman's instruction to stop and then to veer into said cop, bringing about a charge of aggravated battery. Did I mention the truck's license plate was not registered to that vehicle? It is difficult to conclude that Randy's only crime was Driving While Black. Although we might agree on Driving The World's Most Conspicuous And Overcrowded Vehicle With A Woman On Your Lap While Black. Professional athletes' capacity for dumbassosity just never ceases to amaze.

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     [Note: The above is our 63rd blogpoll to surpass 1,000 votes within the first day. Thanks as always!]

     Anquan Boldin getting antsy: Agent Drew Rosenhaus confirmed today he has been fired by Cardinals WR Anquan Boldin, an obvious sign that Boldin either wants an extended contract or a trade and wants it soon. Me speculating: The change in agents can't but help to rekindle interest in teams that could use Boldin but had hit roadblocks. I would very much include the team from South Florida.  

     Jose Canseco continues quiet, uneventful retirement: Jose Canseco lost his mixed martial arts debut, losing in 1:17 of the first round in Japan to a 7-2, 330-pound South Korean man. Canseco is why bad reality TV was invented. (That was not a compliment). 

     Marlsox lurking in weeds: My Adler's Marlsox fantasy baseball team stands fifth of 10 teams with 57.5 points, but that's a mere three points from second place. The key: Finally benching Ricky Nolasco, albeit a few weeks too late. I am an anaconda, lurking in the weeds. That's if  anacondas lurk in weeds. Otherwise. I am whatever lurks in weeds.

     Paris Hilton pays quick visit to blog: Gossip writers falsely reported that Paris Hilton had been kicked off a yacht owned by Elton John partner David Furnish for having sex in a bathroom. Two thoughts: 1) It's sad day when you can't trust gossip writers. 2) If you're Paris Hilton, isn't such a report considered a career enhancement? (Pictured at right: Paris expresses concern in officially condemning North Korea's continued defiant nuclear missile-testing).

     Latest thanks...: ...to some of the outlets that have run my stuff lately, including Boston Herald, Detroit Free-Press, Merced (CA) Sun-Star, Regina (Sask.) Leader-Post, St. Louis Post-Dispatch and San Antonio Express. Was interviewed at length by author Jeff Carroll for his upcoming book on the UM-Notre Dame 1980s football rivalry. Also thanks as always to 790 The Ticket (Tuesdays 4:20ish).

     An idea either brilliant, or full of crap: A Japanese company has taken to a new level the concept of reading while on the toilet, publishing a horror story by Koji Suzuki on rolls of toilet paper. Somewhere in America, Stephen King is saying, "Why didn't I think of that!"

     Utah boy keeps feet on ground, reaches for snails: An 11-year-old Utah boy allowed 43 live snails to crawl on his face in an effort to set a Guinness world record. Dream big, lad. Dream big.

Marlins drowning; plus LeBatard returns (with poll), LeBron & more

     NO LIVE CHAT TODAY! Your Monday live chat is taking off for the Memorial Day holidayu today. We'll be back chatting next Monday as usual...

     [Twitter.com/gregcote]. 

     Sinking Marlins disheveled, desperate:  The Marlins are an absymal 8-24 since their 11-1 start after consecutive embarrassing home losses to the Tampa Bay Rays. And now opening-day starter Ricky Nolasco -- who has personally ruined my fantasy team's season, thank you -- is demoted to the minors. What a train wreck. I feel for Fredi Gonzalez, but much more of this and I'll begin to think he may not survive the season. Much more of this and it will be time to scrap the season, trade Dan Uggla and get back to the damned drawing board. 

      The reign of King James: Did you see LeBron James' miracle Game 2 buzzer-beater? Somewhere in Akron, Coach Bro was hollerin' in his chair. Pictured left: Has the NBA given birth to its greatest player ever? I Twittered right after the game that King James has a chance to be the first player since Michael Jordan to have a career that out-Jordans Jordan. Kobe Bryant is falling just short. Does LBJ have a shot? (Realistically, I wouldn't bet on it. Too many championships are required. But otherwise he has a chance, yes).

     Welcome back, Dan: 790 the Ticket radio host Dan Le Batard dips back into sportswriting Sunday, ending a year's sabbatical from The Herald. Dan returns with what a poignant, sympathetic piece on former Yankee-turned-accused-DUI-manslaughter driver Jim Leyritz. My newspaper has missed Dan. I presume readers have, too? Take a dip in our poll and drop Dan a comment letting him know how you feel about his return.

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     Canes get spanked: Sorry, Jim Morris, but your Miami Hurricanes -- a mediocre-for-UM 36-20 after a disappointing ACC tournament showing -- do not deserve to host an NCAA baseball regional.

     Click back. May be updating/adding more stuff to this post through the weekend.

Racist joke and video, or OK?; plus Jay Brophy, Hanley Ramirez, high-tech Dolphins & more

     [Click on Twitter.com/gregcote, where randomly selected followers are winning Ford Fusions, kitchen makeovers and trips to Cancun! Not really. But sign up anyway. Looking for the Chad Henne poll? It's in the post just below this one].

     [New column by me and it's the most read sports piece on MiamiHerald.com today: Former Hurricane and Dolphin LB Jay Brophy, now an Ohio high-school coach, recalls coaching his favorite wide receiver: LeBron James. Click here]. 

     Blog annoys sports fans, takes brief but jarring foray into social commentary: I have discovered over the years that I am not easily offended. Maybe it's that the job I do required me to develop crocodile-thick skin. Maybe it's that white guys like me usually are not the subject of stereotyping or jokes. In any case a friend e-mailed me a joke and a video and I found both funny -- but also wondered if either had crossed a line for people perhaps more sensitive than myself. Is it OK to laugh at either or both? Are they benign or perfectly acceptable? Or are either or both in poor taste or even racist? 

     The questionable joke/one-liner: "I always heard a black man would be president when pigs fly. Sure enough, 100 days into the Obama presidency: Swine flu!"

     The questionable video: Click on Sneak into America for a well-done video to the tune of Neil Diamond's "Coming to America," this one making critical fun of Mexicans crossing the border illegally.

     One more while I'm at it: Have railed about this before, but, I'll be at a Benihana's tonight, and I want my chef/entertainer to be a Japanese guy, dammit, not a lady named Sarah from Jersey! Is that socially or politically incorrect? Do I have the right to request a native chef at a restaurant selling a Japanese experience?

     Blog returns to sports with Hanley Ramirez note!: The Sporting News polled dozens of baseball hall of famers and experts for a "50 best current players" list and Marlin Hanley Ramirez checked in No. 5, after Albert Pujols, Alex Rodriguez, Johan Santana and Manny Ramirez. But no other Marlin made the top 50 and I doubt any would have made a top 100. That's the problem. After Hanley, who's the best Marlin? Jorge Cantu? Josh Johnson?

     Dolphins enhance fan experience, according to Dolphins: Dolphin games at BadBeer Stadium this fall will find 5,000 hand-held wireless devices in the hands of certain premium-seat holders on the club and suite levels. The devices will offer instant replay, different camera angles, field-level audio and split-screen video and stats. In other words, while at the game, device-holders will now be able to experience watching it at home, but on a really, really small TV.

     NBA semis unexpectedly competitive: Still think it'll be Kobe vs. LeBron in the Finals. But after one game Lakers and Cavs sure look vulnerable. If somehowit ends up Denver-Orlando, TV will sell Carmelo Anthony vs. Dwight Howard. Which is like Kobe-LeBron Lite.

     Latest round of thanks...: ...to some of the outlets running my stuff or having me on include American Chronicle (Beverly Hills), Anchorage Daily News, Merced (Calif.) Sun-Star, Kamloops This Week (British Columbia), Regina (Saskatchewan) Leader-Post, Seattle Times, USA Today and as always 790 The Ticket.

     Depressing Places" list snubs Miami: The Business Insider lists America's Most Depressing Places, with Detroit predictably No. 1 and West Palm Beach checking in No. 7 as Florida's only entry. Click on Prozacville for the list. I hear Miamians are extremely depressed about being left off, all but assuring we'll make the next list.

     Congratulations to new American Idol: Kris Allen may now be expected to put out one or two bad singles preparatory to losing his record deal and fading slowly from public view. "Hey, it worked for me!" said that gray-haired "Soul Patrol" guy whose name I've already forgotten.

How good do you expect Chad Henne to be? (with poll); plus Jason Taylor stuff

     [Twitter.com/gregcote. Click to follow and win fabulous prizes! Not really].

     Went to Dolphins camp yesterday and wrote a Chad Henne column, in part because I didn't want to join all the other media lemmings in automatically flocking to Jason Taylor. I have a JT thought or two below, but I find the Henne situation intriguing. Click on Heir to the Air for my column, which -- Gratuitous Plug Alert -- is the most viewed single piece on MiamiHerald.com today. So much of the Dolphins' success beyond this season depends on how Henne turns out. Will he be Dan Marino? John Beck? What do you think? I don't mean your best hopes. I mean what your gut tells you. None of us can realistically know, but looking here for a sense of Dolfans' expectations of and confidence in The Next QB. Take a dip in our poll:

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     Two thoughts Jason Taylor's return: 1) I find it hard to believe he'll be a "situational player" coming off the bench. I'd bet he starts and that his role is similar to the JT of past Miami years. 2) Taylor was asked point-blank Tuesday about the possibility he might have ended up in New England. He could have deflected the question or said it was all a media contrivance. "We talked," he said instead. "There was talk." I got beat up for a column on that last week, but, bottom line: If Miami hadn't finally shown interest and signed JT, he'd have been wearing Patriots colors in 2009. Bank on it.

     (NFL snubs Miami, picks New Orleans to host 2013 Super Bowl. I blame Land Shark beer).

Can anything stop Kobe vs. LeBron? (with poll); plus trading Dan Uggla, Brian Grant, MNF booth, James Harrison & more

     [Three notes: 1. Thanks to all who joined our live online chat today. We do it every Monday from 1-2 p.m. To join then or post questions any time click on Chatty Chatty Bang Bang. 2. We have reached the 300 follower mark on Twitter. If this were bowling, that'd be quite an accomplishment! Follow for free by clicking on Twitter.com/gregcote. 3. Looking for 'Boldin to Dolphins?' poll? It's in the blogpost directly below this one].

       No stopping LeBron vs. Kobe inevitability: NBA conference-championship round underway Tuesday, and I give the Magic against Cleveland a slightly better chance than I give the Nuggets against L.A. -- but only slightly. Both series could be routs; neither will go seven. Orlando and Stan Van Lucky were fortunate to face Boston without Kevin Garnett. I cannot envision any realistic way the NBA and TV won't get itheir wish for a LeBron James-Kobe Bryant duel in The Finals. Can you? Take a dip in our poll:

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     On Marlins and Dan Uggla, Pedro Martinez: The Marlins' extended slump since the 11-1 start has made me begin to think two things I did not think a couple of months ago: 1. Trading Dan Uggla would not be such a bad thing; that's if his sub-.200 average has plundered all his market value. (Although I am enocouraged to see Uggla eating spinach at left. Otherwise before long he will have to go on a crash diet to continue hitting his weight. 2. If the Marlins think unsigned veteran Pedro Martinez (pictured right) has any arm left and he'd come cheap, it might be worth considering.

     Best wishes, Brian: Sad, the news that former Heat player Brian Grant is in the early stages of Parkinson's disease. Click here for ther ESPN.com piece that revealed the story. Grant, 37, is one of the more interesting, generous athletes I've run across, and our best hopes are with him.

       Monday booth gets latest makeover: Jon "Chucky" Gruden (left) replacing Tony Kornheiser alongside Mike Tirico and Ron Jaworski in the Monday Night Football booth. TK leaving of his own volition after three years due to a fear of flying, the same phobia that beset John Madden. I'm not making fun, though. We all have our travel pecadillos. For example, I am afraid of jostling over the plain in a covered wagon.

     Steelers' James Harrison identified as un-American rat: The NFL's reigning defensive player of the year won't join his champion Pittsburgh teammates Thursday at the White House to be honored by President Obama. Why? "If you want to see the Pittsbuurgh Steelers," he said, "invite us when we don't win the Super Bowl." Lord, what a moron.

     This just in. Canada sucks: Pittsburgh vs. Carolina and Detroit vs. Chicago in the hockey semifinals reminds us of one thing: Canada sucks. What I mean is, this season will extend the ignominous streak of the country that invented ice hockey failing to see one of its owns teams raise the Stanley Cup. You are an admirably knowledgable hockey fan or a weeping Canadian if you know the last north-of-border team to win it all was  Montreal in 1993.

     Makeover for Anna Kournikova: Tennis hottie Anna Kournikova, competing again for the first time in almost a year, has refashioned her image. She used to be known mostly for her sex appeal (see left). Now she is known mostly for her sex appeal but also for claiming she doesn't want to be known for that.

     Mom draws attention to daughter's ... oh never mind: A Florida mom is demanding her daughter's Citrus Park high school re-do its yearbook because the original yearbook shows a photo suggesting her daughter is (ahem) not wearing underwear. Click on Oops! for more. Hey thanks, Mom! Your demand has assured that your daughter's embarrassment has gone from local to national.

     Adler's Marlsox movin' on up like Jeffersons:  Weekly fantasy baseball update. My team up to 3rd place in 10-team league with 58 points. David Wright en fuego, Johan Santana and Zack Greinke kings of my hill.

     Dear Greg...: ...your blog's OK but would be better if ocasionally you'd show a photo of a family that thought it would be cute to pose for a picture all wearing rabbit ears. Thank you.

     Virgin Mary appears on window pane: A Massachusetts hospital doesn't know what to do with a window that enraptured Catholics claim holds the likeness of the Virgin Mary. Click on Ubiquitous Mary for the tale. Cannot confirm reports that a man resembling Satan was seen lurking around the hospital with a bottle of Windex.

     Tourist attraction news: Two employees of Yellowstone National Park have been fired for (click on Streams of Stupidity for the story) urinating on Old Faithful. Yellowstone, indeed.

     Busty the Mannequin: Referencing our recent "sexy mannequin" blognote, a reader (with our thanks) offers this photo of a mannequin he spotted in a shop window on South Beach. I do not know this woman. But I am guessing her breasts may not be real.

Boldin to Dolphins for No. 1 pick? (with poll); plus Marlins ballnapper, sexy mannequin, 790, running nun & more

     LIVE ONLINE CHAT TODAY/MONDAY 1-2 P.M! Click here to join live or to post a question at any time...

     [Click on Twitter.com/gregcote to join the following at no charge. We hold monthly meetings where there's free beer. Not really].

     Anquan Boldin worth a No. 1 draft pick?: Now that Jason Taylor is back in the fold we turn attention to the one piece still missing from the Dolphins offense: A premier, No. 1-caliber wide receiver. Arizona's Anquan Boldin is available in trade, although it likely would take a first-round draft pick and maybe a little more to pry him from Arizona. Should the Dolphins do it if they can? Take a dip in our poll:

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     [You did it again. The above was our 62nd blogpoll to surpass 1,000 votes within the first 24 hours and has since jetted past the 2,000-mark. Keep 'em coming!]

     Coghlan-gate exposed!: We are the Official Blog of Ridiculous Things, and so we have details on the Brewers fan who caught Marlin Chris Coghlan's first career home run ball the other night and then held it hostage. The fan is Nick Yohanek (pictured right), and you'd click on The Happy Youngster (the name of his blog) for his version of the way things transpired. Coghlan said it was a shakedown. This is the fan's perspective.

     Joakim Noah finds it hard getting over Bulls' playoff ouster: At least we're guessing so by this photo at left, courtesy of TMZ.

 

     My car? Why it's a 1997 Chevrolet Copmagnet: Not as lucky as Joakim Noah, Memphis Grizzlies forward Darius Miles was busted for pot possession after a traffic stop. Miles was driving the vehicle pictured at left. Yeah, always a good idea, while smoking pot, to be driving the most inconspicuous car possible. Also, a pot-smoking athlete who happens to be black certainly wouldn't want to be driving a car that might fit a policeman's idea of racial profiling or anything!

     Female mannequin found too titillating: A scantily clad mannequin posed outside a Cincinnati-area barbecue joint has been made to cover up after complaints. A long T-shirt now covers the dummy's offending attire: a bikini top and short-shorts. Pictured: the restaurant's owner (in ballcap) attends a commission meeting in a failed effort. The mannequin, named BarBe, is in the foreground. Looks like they keep it pretty cold in those commission meetings. The owner complains that, since the mandated cover-up, business is down 40 percent among once-loyal mannequin customers.

      790 adds hottie host, even though nobody can see her: Local 790 The Ticket sports-talk radio has paired morning host Jorge Sedano with a new sidekick, Krystal Fernandez (pictured left). Krystal was not hired for her looks, because it's radio. However, there already are unfounded rumors circulating of a budding off-air romance between the two co-hosts. Cannot confirm that most of those rumors were started by Sedano.

     Nun runs just for the hell of it: An area nun, Sister Mary Elizabeth Lloyd, 60, plans to compete this weekend, in full flowing nun regalia, in a 100-mile run along the Florida Keys. She calls running a good habit. Pictured at right: A blog rendition of what Sister Mary Beth would look like if she looked like this and, instead of running, were dancing a jig.

     Killer abs save woman: Click on Life-Saving Abs to find out how this woman's fitness saved her in a time of great duress.

     Ronald McDonald left crimson-faced: McDonald's is pulling the plug on a Kidz Bop 6 CD giveaway in some Happy Meals because parents have complained one of the songs, by Gavin DeGraw, includes the f-word. And I don't mean "fries."

     Dear Greg...: ...your blog's OK, but would be much better if you'd show one more picture of that hot mannequin.

     (I just realized that for some reason there are mostly good-looking women pictured in this blogpost, counting the nun and the mannequin).

Jason Taylor signs with Dolphins!; plus tabloid outs Michael Phelps' sex life & much more

     [Click on Twitter.com/gregcote to sign up because it's fast, free and every once in a while we have a drawing and award a randomly chosen follower a big boat. Not really].

     Dolphins re-acquire Jason Taylor: Two days ago it seemed the Dolphins were going to let Jason Taylor slip away to rival New England, as I wrote in a column in which I called signing Taylor or not a litmus test for whether Miami was aiming to win now or continue rebuilding. Not sure whether my column was premature or prescient, but today, Miami passed that litmus test. I may be a genius. Or not. This is a great move because it addresses immediate needs and speaks to this season, not three years from now. But more work is left. Anquan Boldin is still out there, if the Dolphins are REALLY serious about getting from good to great. Click on Taylor Big, Boldin Bigger for my new column online now and shipping to Thursday's paper.

     Michael Phelps' latest tabloid tawdriness: The British tabloid News of the World has a story in which a stripper named Theresa White (pictured) blabs about Olympic swimmer Michael Phelps' sexual prowess. Michael's previous tabloid scandal centered around a bong. This one centers around a "boiinng!" (Sorry). News of the World may or may not be a reputable publication. I think the same issue included an exclusive report on Queen Elizabeth sunbathing nude with Martians. 

     Miami Herald expands coverage area to Pittsburgh, D.C.: Strangest thing happened to me this morning. I woke up, ambled oustide, unsheathed the Miami Herald from its yellow plastic bag -- only to find the Pittsburgh Post-Gazette inside! Or was it the Washington Post? Yeah, tonight's Penguins-Capitals Game 7 was the main display splashed all across the front of the Sports section. I blinked hard only to learn it was indeed my Herald. Who says the newspaper industry is cutting back? We're expanding coverage into the Northeast! Would love to have heard the budget-meeting discussion on that yesterday. First editor: "Hey, it's been a terrific series, plus it includes superstars Sidney Crosby and Alex Ovechkin." Second editor: "Umm, but this is not by any stretch a hockey town and the local TV rating for that game will be just below that of a ShamWow infomercial airing at 4 a.m." First editor: "Yeah but still. Slow news day."

     Bulletin: Roger Clemens still lying: In the face of a damaging new book out this week Roger Clemens has broken a year's silence to continue denying he has ever used performance-enhancing drugs. In response, the American people issued a statement that read, "Yeah, right!" (Clemens is pictured left in happier times, preparing to punch singer Emmy Lou Harris).

     Dwight Howard blames SVG: Magic star Dwight Howard questioned coach Stan Van Gundy's late-game strategy after last night's blown-lead loss in Boston. Club management reacted by quietly demoting Van Gundy (pictured right) from head coach to school crossing guard.

     Kimbo Slice tries carving new niche: Fading mixed-martials arts novelty Kimbo Slice has decided to try boxing and will debut this summer. Zzzz. Aside to kimbo: Your 15 minutes almost up. Tick-tock.

     Roger Goodell showing signs of early senility: NFL commissioner Roger Goodell told a Charlotte Touchdown Club meeting this week that the league may expand from one to two regular-season games in London as early as 2010. Goodell also has declined to expressly say no to speculation that even a Super Bowl may be played in London some day. Hey, Tagliabue. Go slap some sense into your replacement, will ya!? How about we suggest that NFL fans in London fly over here to watch games?

     Cote's 'American Idol' odds: Idolheads (and I am one; sorry, guilty pleasure) know it pares from 3 to 2 tonight, and the way I see it is, Adam Lambert has a 49 percent overall likelihood of winning, Kris Allen is at 38% and Danny Gokey is 13%.

     Latest round of thanks*...: go out to Miami New Times, PhinPhinatic, Sacramento Bee, St. Louis Post-Dispatch, Seattle Times, Tampabay.com, Wall Street Journal, and of course as always 790 The Ticket. (*-Every once in awhile in the blog I shout gracias to a sampling of the outlets that have most recently published or referenced my writing).

Are Dolphins conceding 2009 as lost cause? (with poll)

     [Click on Twitter.com/gregcote to join the following. Looking for the Michael Vick poll? It's in the blogpost just below this one].

     Are the Dolphins acting like a confident, reigning division champion intent on getting better in the short term ... or like a team locked in rebuilding mode and conceding 2009? HEY I'M JUST ASKING!

     It seems to me the Dolphins are sort of waving a white flag and conceding '09 as a lost cause by some of their actions -- or inactions. I explain in a column (click here) that is newly online and shipping to Tuesday's newspaper.

     Miami is not behaving like an 11-5 team, a confident, reigning division titleist trying to take the next step to contention. Instead Miami behaves like a team conceding today for tomorrow, a team still in full rebuilding mode. Major examples include not taking aim at an available premier receiver such as Anquan Boldin and watching as a needed sacker like Jason Taylor is about the sign with the Patriots. 

     I propose the Dolphins should have been more aggressive and more in a win-now mode. I know there is a contrary opinion out there. I find it an interesting discussion in any case. Weigh in. Take a dip in our poll and expound.

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Michael Vick deserves forgiveness (with poll); plus Land Shark, Lingerieball & more

     [Thanks to all who tapped into our live online chat today. We do it every Monday from 1-2 p.m. Click here to join live, read transcripts or post a question any time. Click on Twitter.com/gregcote to join the following. It's fast, free and has been shown in lab tests to reduce body fat by 10 percent].

     There is a full column from me on this posted online now (click here) and in the Monday newspaper. Suffice to say I think Michael Vick soon will have paid his fair debt for his dog-fighting sins (two years in federal prison) and deserves both reinstatement by the NFL and a fair chance from the rest of us -- football fans, media and animal lovers alike. What he did was terrible. His punishment was just. But he has done the time for doing the crime, and does not deserve a life or career sentence.

     Take a dip in our poll and elaborate with a comment if you'd like. Note: We'd ask PETA members to restrict their comments to 5,000 words. [Update: PETA, please do not picket my house. Unless naked women are involved. Thank you].

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     [Congrats, and thanks. You made the above our 61st blogpoll to surpass 1,000 votes within the first 24 hours. Keep 'em coming!]

     Landshark/LandShark/Land Shark update!: The Dolphins announced today that the defrocked Dolphin Stadium, renamed after a bad beer, should be referred to as Land Shark Stadium (three words), not as Landshark or LandShark. Hmm. Confusing. I say to hell with it and let's just keep calling it Dolphin Stadium. You with me?

     Lingerieball: The Miami Caliente of the Lingerie Football League held a "mini-camp" Monday at the Sunrise arena. No, seriously. Pictured at right: Somebody who throws a lousy pass, but with exquisite form. [Aside to self: Ask boss for assignment switch from column writing to Caliente beat].

     Fantasy baseball update: Every Monday in da blog I update on you how the Adler's Marlsox are faring in our 10-team ESPN-based league. Not much change. Still 4th place. Still trying to figure out how a team with Ryan Howard and David Wright can be dead-last in homers and RBIs. God bless Johan Santana and Zack Greinke.