Greg Cote's Random Evidence of a Cluttered Blog

Baseball Fever sweeps blog! Who should Marlins keep next? (with The Daily Poll)

     First of all, let's hail the bleepin' Marlins, OK? Are you kidding? Seven wins in a row. First place in the NL East. National analysts (like the heads on ESPN tonight) starting to talk about this team being "for real." This is heady stuff. Might not last. Or it might. It's OK to feel pretty damn good right now in either case.

     My question: Now that the big guy, Hanley Ramirez, is locked up contractually, who should the Marlins next be most concerned with not letting get away? I'm not talking here about prospects like Cameron Maybin or unproven young'uns like Andrew Miller. I mean among the established young fixtures. Vote in our poll and expound with a comment.

Opinion Polls & Market Research

     Hey, you! Let's foment some baseball fever here, people! Marlins kicking ass. U-Miami No. 1 nationally in the college polls. We are the Official King of the Red-Stitched Spheroid! Heat dormant, Panthers dormant, Dolphins dormant. Take me out to the ballgame, dammit! Buy me some peanuts and Cracker Jack. Or is it Fiddle Faddle? Better yet buy me a $9 beer and leave me alone.

    

Hanley's huge deal, Shaq's huge derriere (with shocking video), latest Pats spying, PETA poll and more

     A fresh new mess o' miscellania:

     [Bulletin: Happy Mother's Day to all moms! By the way, I am not taking a one-year sabbatical in order to soul-search and seek enlightenment. However, I am taking Sunday off and plan to drink lots of beer].

     Marlins ownership spends big!: I can hardly believe I just typed those four words. A club that leads the majors in cheap has agreed to lavish a six-year, $70 million contract to keep young superstar shortstop Hanley Ramirez long-term, a milestone. Click here to find my column on the deal now online and headed for Sunday's paper.

     Shaq drops trousers, shows bare ass: Could I say it if it weren't true? Click here for the brief but remarkable video, except if you are the type to be offended by the naked bum of a 325-pound man. Remember: You were warned.

     Patriot games, Patriot shame: The latest on the Patriots' Spygate scandal indicates Bill Belicheat's shenanigans predated last year's episode and included spying on the Dolphins in 2000 and 2001. Can't get real excited about new news that rates as old news. Still, seems to me the NFL ought to sock New England with further penalties -- maybe more forfeited draft picks -- with the proof the scandal is broader than first thought. Alas, I think the NFL will consider it case-closed with no additional penalties.

     Employees listening to iPods: Contentious discussion over lunch yesterday as a busboy at Lefty's Tavern walked past with both ears plugged into music. It's a trend. I have also seen this recently of a UPS delivery guy, a Publix kid corraling shopping carts, and a woman in an office whose job is to answer the phone (!). Dear employees: You are not on your own time when working. You are, in effect, on the customers' time. If you deal with or are seen by the public in your job, you have no business wearing iPods at work. Dammit. Am I wrong?

     Bad makeup on wheels: I just looked up "slow news day" in the dictionary and saw the front page of today's Herald dominated by a story about the comeback of women's roller derby.

     Pick a peck o' PETA poll: Had a recent column slamming People for the Ethical Treatment of Animals (PETA) for its reaction to the death of race horse Eight Belles, claiming without basis that the jockey was at fault. (Click here for the column). A huge e-mail response on both sides verified to me how people feel so differently about PETA. How about you? Vote in our poll and elaborate with a comment if you'd like. 

Opinion Polls & Market Research

     Check back later. Might have some updates or add more crap throughout the weekend.

You name Dolphins' starting QB (with The Daily Poll), PETA kicks a dead horse, Jets seek drag queens and more

     Another little mess o' miscellania...

     NAME DOLPHINS' STARTING QB: The Dolphins have no idea right now who'll be the starting quarterback in the Sept. 7 regular-season opener. What's your best guess? Not who you'd like to start, but who you predict will. To me, for various reasons, it's a close call right now among veteran Josh McCown, second-year guy John Beck and rookie Chad Henne. Thinking McCown is the safest bet but wouldn't be surprised by either young guy. Who would your money be on and why?

     (By the way, I don't get the notion McCown somehow has finally landed in the right situation. His situation will turn wrong the nanosecond Team Tuna thinks Beck or Henne is ready).

Opinion Polls & Market Research

     [Wednesday night update: Congrats. You all have made this our 17th blogpoll to surpass 1,000 votes the first day. Results surprise me. Showing much more faith in Beck than I imagined...]

     PETA KICKS DEAD HORSE: I'm getting tired of these People for the Ethical Treatment of Animals people, who now are exploiting the death of the horse Eight Belles for their own self-promotion. Click here to read the column on that by me and let me know your take on what happened and PETA's response.

     JETS AND DRAG QUEENS: This is delicious stuff, Dolfans. The choreographer of the New York Jets cheerleaders says the squad is open to involvement by men dressed like attractive women. OY! Click here for the Jets blog that has the story. But I would never, ever suggest a Dolfan leave an appropriate snide comment for Jets fans.

      OLSEN'S FAST WORK: Watched Scott Olsen's Marlins gem on TV last night, marveling. The best thing about this kid right now isn't his 4-1 start and 2.22 ERA or even his maturity compared to past years. It is that he pitches as if he's on the clock. What a delight! So tired of enduring guys who labor and treat every pitch like childbirth. Olsen's catches, set, throws, rapid-fire. Sweet!

     FIU FLUNKS APR: Five Florida International University teams including football and men's basketball have been socked by the NCAA with scholarship reductions for insufficiencies in the annual Academic Progress Report. t academic progress. Might have been an ominous sign when some of the athletes had to give it some thought when asked to spell "F-I-U."

      DANCING DOLPHIN UPDATE: The more I see of Dancing With the Stars, the less I think Jason Taylor will win it all. That's a big statement, by the way. Not me predicting JT won't win. Me admitting I watch DWST.

     BRYANT WORTHY, BUT SO WAS KG: Can't argue with Kobe Bryant winning NBA's MVP award, although my vote would have gone to Kevin Garnett. What a strong field this year, with Chris Paul and LeBron James also viable.

     JOKE THAT MAY OR MAY NOT BE TOO RISQUE FOR A NEWSPAPER BLOG: Little Sally came home  from school with a smile and told her mommy, "Frankie Brown showed me his weenie today!" Before the mother could speak little Sally went on to say, "It reminded me of a peanut." Relaxing somewhat, Sally's mom asked, "Really? Because it was so small?" Sally said, "No. Because it was salty!" Mommy fainted.

     THE BENEFITS OF LOOKING POOR: En route to Dunkin' Donuts for my ritualistic morning coffee I saw a man peddling 'Homeless Voice' newsletters and soliciting donations at a busy intersection. While listening to an iPod. Hmm. Dear Panhandlers: Rule of thumb. If you are destitute or a delegate for the homeless with your hand out, do not A) be dressed better than me, B) have on a Chopard watch, or C) be listening to an iPod.

      WOMAN KEEPS STREAK ALIVE: A young woman who recently semi-streaked a soccer game in Tampa will soon appear nude in Playboy. Click here to further investigate this remarkable story for scientific purposes only.

     GIVING UP THE GHOST: Finally, former Sen. George McGovern today urged Hillary Clinton to drop out of the presidential race. This surprised Democratic officials, who were under the impression McGovern had died years ago.

Are you as optimistic as me? (with The Daily Poll)

     Today's column by me (click here) is one people will tend to love or hate. Flying under the banner, 'Success ahead? Signs indicate a turnaround,' it puts an unapologetically positive spin on the immediate future of our beleaguered Big Five sports teams: Dolphins, Heat, Marlins, Panthers and UM football.

     Coaching changes, impactful drafts and other factors have things looking up all the way around. Do you agree? I'd encourage a dialogue on the topic here, and invite you to tell which of these teams has you the most hopeful at the moment and why.

     The poll that follows asks which team inspires the most optimism right now. That's a broad question open to interpretation. Your overriding factor might be which team is closest to being a contender again or might be something else. Remember, though, this is NOT a what's-your-favorite-team poll, but one asking which team's fans should realistically be most hopeful today.

     Vote, then expound with a comment. Expounding is fun! Also it provides a cathartic release that may be beneficial to your mental health and also may help you lose weight without diet or exercise.

Opinion Polls & Market Research

The Jason Taylor drama--Updated (with The Daily Poll)

     [Tuesday night bulletin update: Despite Monday's bomb-a on the samba, Jason Taylor survived tonight and waltzes into the DWTS semifinals. Also advancing: Kristi Yamaguchi, the chubby gal for some reason, and the guy with the fake arm injury. Eliminated: The young black guy who looks like Chris Rock].

     [Monday night bulletin update: Jason Taylor has just danced the samba and tanked. Coincidentally, I just got tanked at La Bamba celebrating Cinco de Mayo. Samba, bamba, you say tomato, I say tomahto. Dancing With the Stars judges said Taylor's performance seemed distracted, leading speculators to wonder if Bill Parcells bribed the judge who gave a 7, or to surmise that Le Batard's column today agitated said distraction by fanning the JT-Tuna rift. Either that or Jason just sort of sucked at the samba. This Taylor dancing gig is getting ponderous, by the way. The Stanley Cup playoffs are over quicker than this thing].

     Original post:

     Where Jason Taylor's head is at is captured well in a new column by my boy Le Batard. Click here to read it. Great stuff as usual from Dan, who is good on radio, but whose broadcast work cannot compare to what he can do with words on a page when he tries.

     My question: Are we tired of the JT saga/drama/soap opera by now? Or is it the most interesting story of this offseason? 

     So many conflicting suppositions. Will he retire? Has he asked for a trade? Does the new regime want him back?

     Another question: How does Taylor's Dancing With the Stars foray and his obvious eye toward an acting career affect the way you think of him?

     Vote in our poll and expound with a comment.

Opinion Polls & Market Research

    

Dolphin Mini-Camp update: Sparano enjoys stuffed artichokes (with The Daily Poll)

      [Sunday update: The wife, myself and another couple are dining last night at Vigneto's, an Italian restaurant we like in Davie, when in walks Dolphins coach Tony Sparano and his wife at around 8:15. He drank water, she iced tea. Discreetly, I observed them enjoying a stuffed artichoke appetizer. Later our foursome forayed into Macabi's cigar bar, but Sparano did not show up, setting to rest any concerns he might have been stalking me].

      [Saturday bulletin: Big Brown has just won the Kentucky Derby. The horse is not believed to have been owned, trained or ridden by any current or former Dolphin, but has a name strikingly similar to that of 1980s safety Bud Brown].

      The Dolphins' first pre-training camp "mini-camp" began Friday, continued Saturday and end today at the Davie HQ. It has involved only rookies: recent draftees, undrafted free agents and invited tryout guys. Obvious focus is on No. 1 pick Jake Long. Also, of course, these have been the first on-field workdays under the new coach Sparano. We presumed Tuna would be lurking as well, and we were correct. Click here for my column off the start of mini-camp.

      The big news out of camp: Speculation that Sparano bears an uncanny and somewhat unsettling resemblence to Rev. Jeremiah Wright, the bane of Barack Obama's existence. This blog does not endorse the similarity, but simply presents it for public consideration.

     Thoughts welcome here on the team's rookie crop, the weekend mini-camp in general, the Sparano-Wright link, stuffed artichokes and the mini poll that follows.

     By the way Jake Long is the ninth top-10 overall draft pick to play for Miami, after QB Rick Norton (1966), QB Bob Griese (67), RB Larry Csonka (68), RB Sammie Smith (89), OT Richmond Webb (90), CB Troy Vincent (92), RB Ronnie Brown (05), WR Ted Ginn (07). Where will Long fit on this scale of Hall of Famers to busts? The finding out starts.

     Now, in honor of Mini-Camp, we invite you to name the greatest Mini/Minnie of all-time. Because the polls can't all be serious, folks; some of them want to be silly:

Opinion Polls & Market Research

      Poll addendum: You all are right. Our poll absolutely should have included the great Mini Me, an omission that leaves us crimson with regret and begging pardon.

Erik Spoelstra's chat, Jason Taylor's fart, Mike Tyson's house and more

     A new little mess o' miscellania...

    MIKE TYSON'S HOUSE: Click here for a pictorial and description of Tyson's abandoned Ohio mansion. This is serious. [Friday Bonus Add]

     STOP BY FOR A CHAT: Update. New coach Erik Spoelstra chatted with Heat fans Thursday at Heat.com. What was billed as a 30-minute live chat actually lasted only 18 minutes, meaning you had roughly the same odds of getting your question answered as you do of being drafted by the team. And don't you love how "chat" has become the accepted folksy designation for these online Q&A's even though the nature of the forum is rather the cold opposite the word's implied informality?

     My question: What is the one thing you would have asked Spoelstra? (And the answer you wanted).

    Click here for my column today. Used Spoelstra's chat as a launch-point to talk about the sudden inexperience and lack of decision-making power with Big Four pro coaches. 

    By the way, you may not know (or care), but Spoelstra is a Filipino-American from his mother's side. He is pictured here on the cover of the November 2006 issue of Filipinas magazine, labeled as "Miami Heat's Secret Weapon."

     DANCING WITH THE FARTS: Hip-wiggling the cha cha in a silk shirt on national TV was not embarrassing enough, so now comes the intimation that Dolphins star Jason Taylor is prone to shall we say "break wind" during Dancing With the Stars rehearsals. Click on braaap for a brief video of Taylor farting. Wait. Am I allowed to say farting in a blog? Let me check with the lawyers and get back to you. Farting. Is that how Jason has gotten such good separation from offensive linemen all these years?

     MAX ON MINIS: Dolphins' first of three mini-camps is Friday through Sunday, for drafted rookies, free agents and first-year guys. No other team will have three. Possible new advertising/marketing theme: "We lead the league in mini-camps!" Hey, at least it's better than that "Unlock the Code/Respect the Code" crap.

     FLOGGING THE BLOGGING: Anyone catch the Costas Now show partly on sports blogging? Click here for an interesting article. I don't know what the big issue is. Blogging is ultimate grass roots survival-of-the-fittest. Ninety percent of blogs (a figure I just made up) are written by Gomer in his basement and wither on the vine. Others are lucky enough to take root. Love, Gomer.   

      LIAR LIAR, REP ON FIRE: We figured all along Roger Clemens was lying about steroids. Now his believability takes another hit with the news his various extramarital affairs included one with budding country singer Mindy McCready beginning when she was only 15. Yikes! It's now official: Clemens' life has turned into a country song. McCready is shown here in better days, and after an arrest last July in Fort Myers. Meantime, anyone who finds Clemens' credibility is asked to please turn it in to Lost & Found.

     TRANSVESTITES 'R US: Click here to see perhaps the only athlete this week with whom even Clemens would not trade places.

     "WE'RE NO. 87!": ESPN The Mag's annual ranking of the 122 Big Four pro sports teams based on fan satisfaction (click here) ranks the Heat 87th, Panthers 98th, Marlins 99th and Dolphins 108th. Pretty glum. Like we needed them to tell us, right?

     YO, MARLINS FANS: Happy to report my newspaper will soon welcome a Marlins blog to the Herald bloggerhood. About time! Look for it, although I'll continue to post Marlins stuff in Random Evidence, your place for one-stop shopping as our only general interest sports blog. (The preceding was a thinly guised shameless plug).

     HOCKEY NIGHT IN DAVIE: That reminds me, Herald colleague George Richards and I hit Lefty's on University after the Marlins game the other night and wound up tipping beers with TV'er Craig Minervini. Good time. With G-Man and Minervini, though, waaay too much hockey talk.

      SHOCKING PHOTO INFILTRATES BLOG: A photo that may or may not be doctored that appears to show a gregarious Hillary Clinton holding a beer and offering a politically incorrect gesture while grinning maniacally and possibly wearing only an undergarment -- I have no idea how that got on my blog. But be assured a thorough investigation has ensued.

Heat's Riley resigns, Spoelstra takes over (with The Daily Poll)

     Heat coach Pat Riley stepped down Monday and named longtime assistant Erik Spoelstra (pictured) as his replacement in a news conference at the arena. Riley will remain as club president.

     I think this development is good news for all concerned, and for the right reasons, as you'd read fully in today's column by me by clicking here. Spoelstra has earned a shot. And Riley deserved to give up coaching on his own terms and timetable.

     Your thoughts on this major development are welcome here. Is this good for the Heat? Worrisome? Let us know. Vote in the poll and elaborate. What will be Riley's Miami legacy? And what do you expect from the change?

Opinion Polls & Market Research

Grade the Dolphins draft (with The Daily Poll)

     First, a necessary caveat: None of us knows anything right now. We will all find out together -- Bill Parcells, Mel Kiper Jr., me and you -- whether this proves to have been a terrific Dolphin draft, a bad one or shades in between. But no law says we have to wait two or three years to have an opinion, right?

     So what do you think? What does your gut tell you? Based on where Miami picked, the players they drafted and how needs were met relative to what other teams did, how would you grade the 2008 Dolphins draft just ended?

     The nine drafted Dolphins: Michigan OT Jake Long (1st round); Clemson DE/OLB Phillip Merling (2); Michigan QB Chad Henne (2); Hampton DE Kendall Langford (3); Utah State OG Shawn Murphy (4); Toledo RB Jalen Parmele (6); Connecticut OG Donald Thomas (6); Montana RB Lex Hilliard (6) and Arizona DT Lionel Dotson (7).

     I'd planned to write on the draft today but am getting re-routed by the Pat Riley news. Suffice to say I like what the Dolphins did and would weigh in at around a B-plus. What about you?

     So how satisfied are you, Dolfan? Vote in our poll and elaborate with a comment. What do you like most about the Miami draft? Any disappointments?

Opinion Polls & Market Research

     [Update: Thanks again, voters. You made this our 16th blogpoll to surpass 1,000 votes within the first 24 hours, this one taking just a few hours. Keep on voting!]

Dolphins' Day 2 Draft: DE, OG, RB, OG, RB, DT

      Dolphins pick DE Kendall Langford from tiny Hampton to open Day 2, smartly trading down a couple of spots in order to gain an additional sixth-round pick.

     Picking Langford suggests that Miami be thinking of top-of-the-second-round pick Phillip Merling as more of an outside linebacker than an end. It also is further indication of planning for life after Jason Taylor. The Dancing Man might still be traded today for future picks, although, as I've blogged earlier, there is minimal market value for a guy his age likely to retire after next season.

      Offensive guard Shawn Murphy of Utah State -- son of former Atlanta Braves outfielder Dale Murphy -- is the fourth-round pick. Moved up a few spots to get him. Position of need.

      Running back Jalen Parmele from Toledo is the first of three sixth-round picks. (Not to be confused with Bernie Parmalee). Parmele averaged 125 rush-yards per game but against smallish competition. He's a body to replace departed Lorenzo Booker.

     The other two sixth-round picks: Donald Thomas, offensive guard from Connecticut, and Lex Hilliard, running back from Montana.

     Definite small-school trend here. The Day 2 picks are from Hampton, Utah State, Toledo, UConn and Montana.

     Final pick: Arizona defensive tackle Lionel Dotson, busting the small-school trend. Need pick. Looks like Miami covered just about all its bases in the draft except wide receiver. But now comes the glut of non-drafted free agents.

     Comments welcome here on all of the Dolphins' Day 2 Sunday action, and how whatever happenned today weighs on your opinion of Miami's overall draft.

Dolphins' Day 1 Draft: Merling, Henne follow Long

     I'd grade the Dolphins a solid B-plus on their NFL Draft Day 1 bounty of Michigan tackle Jake long (1st overall), Clemson defensive end Phillip Merling (32nd) and Michigan quarterback Chad Henne (57th).

     Those three themselves may rate an A, but I'd downgrade slightly because Miami obviously tried to deal Jason Taylor for a second-round pick but could not. And I don't like dealing RB Lorenzo Booker for a fourth-rounder.

     Long we knew about four days earlier.

     Merling looks like a possible steal for Miami at 32, based on the common notion he was first-round quality. (I had him going 21st in my mock draft). By the way, I'd like to coin the instant nickname "Merling the Magician" (patent pending).

      Not sure how well he'll translate to outside linebacker in the 3-4 scheme, so for now let's assume Merling (pictured left) is heir apparent to Taylor at end..

     Getting Henne at 57th overall seems a bargain. I would not have liked this pick at 32 but like it here. Why not? It verifies what any Dolfan suspected: That John Beck may not be da man long-term. Or even short-term.

     Your thoughts on the Dolphins' Day 1 business and on the first two rounds in general are invited.

     Click on Mock '08 for my annual first-round picks. I ended up hitting 25 of 31 players correctly, with five to the exact team. That's about average overall, slightly below average on exactos.

     Click here for my column on the Dolphins' Day 1 bounty.

CONTEST: And the winner is ... Nobody!

     [Update: Nobody won our Dolphin Draft Contest. All those entries and not a single person guessed Phillip Merling for the 32nd pick. Oh well. Thanks for playing anyway. We'll find a way to give out the prize in a future contest].

     Original post:

     Hey, we're not gonna let the lack of suspense over the No. 1 pick spoil our fun. No. We are undeterred by Miami having already signed first-rounder Jake Long.

     We plow on and invite you now to guess who will be the Dolphins' two second-round picks, the 32nd and 57th overall.

     ENTER BY LISTING YOUR TWO PREDICTED PLAYERS, IN ORDER, IN 'COMMENTS' BELOW. TWO NAMES ONLY!! AND ONE ENTRY PER PERSON/COMPUTER, PLEASE, STRICTLY ENFORCED.

     Winning prize will be a 632-page 2008 Dolphins Media Guide &  Record Book, mailed to you the moment it is published.

     Rules:

     1. Entries close Saturday/today at 3 p.m. sharp, not at the conclusion of the the first round. That's a change.

     2. Only those entries submitted here and listing two players will be eligible.

     3. From eligible entries only those who guess the 32nd overall pick correctly will be eligible for the prize. From there we'll crosscheck IP addresses and eliminate all multiple entries from the same computer.

     4. The tiebreaker will be the 57th pick, with preference given to earliest entry received. For example, if three entries had both names right, the first one of those three posted would win. That encourages not procrastinating while discouraging copycatting.

     5. If nobody guesses 57th pick correctly, winning entry will be drawn by me at random from among all those who had 32nd pick right.

     If any of this seems too complicated, you fail the Wonderlic test but may still enter our contest.

     Note: If because of draft-day trades the Dolphins don't end up picking 32nd and 57th -- what the hell! -- we'll figure out a way to give away the prize anyway.

Jason Taylor's minimal value (with The Daily Poll) and more

    A brand new mess o' miscellania...

     Taylor's low market value: I wrote in this blog back on March 3 about Jason Taylor's future and little has changed that I see despite a recent media regurgitation. Said then I think Bill Parcells -- denials or not -- would trade JT in a heartbeat for the right offer. Still true, and I think a draft-day deal is possible. The thing is, there is zero chance Miami can get a first-round pick for a guy that age whom everyone knows will very likely play only one more season then cha-cha to Hollywood. You or the Dolphins are dreaming to think that. Even a second-round pick will be a tough get. That reality, more than Tuna's supposed commitment, is why No. 99 may end his career here. Vote in the poll below and add a comment if you dare.

Opinion Polls & Market Research

 

     Hey Marlins fans!: Late April now, still first place, and I'm getting curious. Is your mindset closer to "too good to be true" or to "starting to think it's legit"?

     Morris the chat: Bumped into UM baseball coach Jim Morris at the Flanagan-South Plantation district game the other night; him scouting, me spectating. Jim said he's a big fan of my Sunday Random Evidence notes column but chided me for not columnizing on his top-ranked Canes. OK, a promise, Jim: You go to Omaha, so will I (Herald budget willing!).

     Cowboys play Mr. Pacman: Dallas trades for cornerback Adam "Pacman" Jones, who is suspended and, by recent counts, has more career arrests than interceptions. Cannot confrim Cowboys front-office officials have been asked to submit to a Breathalyzer.

     KB = MVP: Anybody else stay up to watch Kobe Bryant's 49-point playoff show last night including a 20-spot in the first quarter? I believe if Bryant is not the NBA's MVP, somebody has some explaining to do.

     Gotta run for now. Researching my NFL Mock Draft today for Saturday's paper. Am hearing the Dolphins like Jake Long at No. 1.

Jake Long safe, sound pick for Dolphins' new mindset

       The Dolphins today announced they have agreed to terms with overall No. 1 draft choice Jake Long, the Michigan offensive tackle.

     Many of you know I hoped Miami would roll dice on a potentially bigger dividend by targeting Boston College quarterback Matt Ryan, but, having said that, J-Long is a safe, sound pick that signals the new regime's clear direction toward fundamental, smash-mouth football -- Parcells football.

     Your thoughts welcome on the Dolphins taking Jake Long. Read my new column by clicking here. But what do you think?

The case for Matt Ryan, Hanley vs. Dwyane (with The Daily Poll), bad teeth, "4-20" and more

     A new mess o' miscellania...

     Drafting Matt Ryan: In a column online now and in Tuesday's paper, I make the case for why the Dolphins should draft Matt Ryan. Click here for the column. Your thoughts welcome.

     Dwyane vs. Hanley on the greatness meter: The question occured as I watched Hanley Ramirez swat two more homers Sunday to lift the Marlins. Who do you think will retire having had the greater career: Ramirez or the Heat's Dwyane Wade? Vote and say why in a comment.

Opinion Polls & Market Research

     Bonus question: Does either player have a chance to retire considered as great in his sport as the Dolphins' Dan Marino is in his? Hey, relax. I'm just asking!

     NBA playoffs: Left the weekend's first wave of games with the distinct impression a Celtics-Lakers final has the feel of inevitability. Do you see a team that can beat either of them?

    Danica finally wins: Happy for sexpot/driver Danica Patrick getting off the schneid, but don't see the huge deal in terms of historic significance. There are certain sports -- auto racing, bobsledding, horse racing, bowling -- with no real reason why women can't compete directly with men.

      John Adams: Anybody else watch the 7-part miniseries John Adams that ended last night? Heart-wrenching final episode, but love that early American history stuff. Epic performance, too, by the great character actor Paul Giamatti. On a lighter note, dudes back then had some bad teeth or what?

      Blogkeeping Note I: That poll on Chad Johnson in the post below this one has topped 5,000 votes, the second most since we began running blogpolls regularly back in October. Ocho Cinco! Record to beat remains 5,959 for "What should be the fate of Dolphins coach Cam Cameron?"

     Blogkeeping Note II: Our monthly "Ask the Blogmaster General" feature is being phased out and here's why. Beginning Monday, April 28, I will join our website's Q&A Forum, replacing Le Batard in the Columnist category. Meaning you can fire questions at me about anything including this blog in a live chat every Monday from 1-2 p.m.

      Light 'em up: Am I the only un-hip fossil who was unaware of the significance of Sunday as "4-20" day? I was informed it is the annual unofficial holiday when pot smokers commune to celebrate their hobby. (Bulletin: The weedies I know tend to do that somewhat more than once a year). Click here. Me? I celebrated in standard un-hip fossil fashion by finishing off the second half of a Padron cigar in my garage.

     DOGGONE IT!: This was supposed to be probably our last blog post of the week that had nothing to do with the Dolphins or NFL Draft. Then I had to go spoil it with that Matt Ryan item. Damn!

On Chad Johnson to Miami (with The Daily Poll), plus Old Greg, Le Batard and more...

     Another mess o' miscellania...

     Chad Johnson to Dolphins?: Miamian Chad Johnson (Mr. Ocho Cinco), the disgruntled Bengals receiver, is half-begging, half-demanding that Cincinnati trade him. This is one immensely prolific receiver who would make John Beck immediately better. Click here for his career stats. If I'm Tuna, I'm dialing area code 513 today and offering a second-round pick. How about you? Why or why not?

Opinion Polls & Market Research

     [Update: Congrats again, voters. The above is our 15th blogpoll to surpass 1,000 votes within the first 24 hours, this one blasting past that in just the first four hours. Thanks again. Keep 'em coming].    

     I'm Old Greg!: Anybody else aware of a semi-cultish Youtube video phenom called "Old Greg"? My two teenage boys delighted to make me aware of it as a prerequisite to poking fun by calling me Old Greg. Click here to sample the exceptionally creepy actual "Old Greg" (pictured). Personally I think this could be a great walk-on intro when Marlins closer Kevin Gregg takes the mound. What better to unsettle a batter? "I'M OLD GRRRREGGGGGGG!" Or, maybe not.

     Dan Le Baleave: My newspaper has made official internally what we've known for awhile. Dan Le Batard will be on a one-year leave of absence from the paper beginning May 15, while still doing his radio show. He'll be missed. (Did you catch the Kyle Turley/Robert Smith give and take about NFL retired-player disability payments on his show yesterday? Click here to listen; it's quite lengthy. I have seldom heard a more fascinating debate about something most fans care less about).

     American, idling: Last night I was switching back and forth between the Obama-Clinton debate and American Idol. It pains me to admit I'm not sure which was less compelling. That reminds me. Barack Obama has garnered the endorsement of Bruce Springsteen. No matter, though. Hillary Clinton picked up the backing of the NAAP, the National Association for the Advancement of Pantsuits.

    The Pope in America: Welcome, Pope!

     School's out: Remember how you felt in school when you learned there'd be a substitute teacher? Guessing that's sort like the freedom PGA Tour guys are feeling with Tiger Woods out rehabbing four to six weeks after minor knee surgery. (Speaking of golf, some guy named Immelman beat some guy named Snedeker to win The Masters. Immelman sounds like a guy running a Jewish deli).

     Fort Lauderdale Beerbust: Who else attended the Beerfest in downtown Fort Lauderdale this past Saturday? What a ripoff! Admission 25 bucks, for which you got "free beer." The problems? 1) Mostly pedestrian brews. 2) Long lines indicative of too few vendors. 3) Beer served in 3-ounce cups! (Seriously). 4) Started running out of beer by 8:30. I mean, this was sponsored by New Times and pimped endlessly by radio's Paul and Young Ron (pictured). Should have been top-end; instead, an embarrassment. Rule of thumb: Never, ever hand me a 3-ounce plastic cup unless I am under court order to provide a urine sample.

     McSmart decision: Congrats to whomever convinced UM's Jack McClinton to return for his senior season rather than enter the NBA Draft. Good for the Canes. Good for Jack's future pro hopes.

      Yaz for the ladies: There is a new female contraceptive with the brand name Yaz. Speaking for Carl Yastrzemski fans everywhere, we are officially mortified.

     My online Q&A: Finally, a reminder. We'll have a live online Q&A this Friday from 1-2 p.m. That'll be in place of our regular mid-monthly "Ask the Blogmaster General" feature, which will return in May. Questions of every stripe welcome, but with the understanding an uninterupted torrent of questions concerning the Dolphin draft may lead me to reach for a gun or a bottle of Jim Beam, whichever is nearer. [Don't leave your questions here. Do it tomorrow in the appropriate forum, not in this blog. Q's left before 1 p.m. will be answered as time permits, but with priority given to those who are online live at 1].

Exclusive: Soft schedule means Dolphins can finish 9-7, challenge for playoffs

     Ok, yes. It's another one of those cheap, attention-grabbing headlines indicative of the left-wing liberal media. So what! It bears a basis in legitimacy, or at least possibility. I just took a good look at the Dolphins' 2008 regular season schedule, out today, and am struck by how easy it looks. Who's in charge of NFL schedules, anyway? Bill Parcells?

     Look at the eight home games. Concede the Chargers, Patriots and Seahawks as losses. But the other five -- Jets, Ravens, Bills, Raiders and 49ers-- all seem winnable.

     Now look at the eight road games. Pencil in Pats and Broncos as losses. But none of the other six trips -- Cardinals, Texans, Rams, Bills (in Toronto), Chiefs and Jets -- are exactly scary.

     That's 11 potentially winnable games by my count. Win half of those and Tony Sparano (inheriting 1-15) is picking up a few coach of the year votes. With some bounces and luck, I look at that schedule and I see this team having a chance to make a run at .500 and be in the wild-card mix. You read it here first.

     Then again, I may be crazy. What record do you see when you look at that schedule?

     *****************************************************

     [Blogkeeping note: I will be doing a live online Q&A this Friday, April 18, from 1-2 p.m. So that will take the place of our regular mid-monthly "Ask the Blogmaster General" feature].

The Official Dolphin Draft Poll

     [Update: Click here for my Dolphin draft column online now and headed for your Tuesday newspaper. The point: That Miami hasn't been real lucky. The No. 2 overall pick in 2005 and the No. 1 in '08 and nary a franchise QB to show for it. Nobody's fault. The Dolphins just pick really bad years to be really bad].

     Original post:

     1. This poll is officially sanctioned by Random Evidence of a Cluttered Blog. 2. This is our first Dolphin draft blogpoll since Feb. 26. 3. Bill Parcells will strongly consider these results and likely do exactly what you want him to do with the top pick in 13 days. (Note, two of the three statements above are true).

     The poll question presumes Miami keeps the overall No. 1 selection rather than trades down. Please vote and elaborate with a comment if you'd care to...

Opinion Polls & Market Research

     [Congratulations voters. You made this our 14th blogpoll to surpass 1,000 votes within the first 24 hours. Thanks!] 

Dolphin draft (new update) and so much more you could hardly believe it let alone stand it

    Another mess o' miscellania...

    [Another update!] Dolphins on the clock: Sixteen days 'til Miami opens the 2008 NFL Draft. A trade-down is unlikely. So is a surprise pick such as Vernon Ghloston. It seems down to two: Jake Long or Chris Long, with The Herald reporting Miami has begun negotiations with Jake Long's agent. Meanwhile the Palm Beach Post today quotes an unnamed league source saying Miami no longer is considering QB Matt Ryan with the top pick So. Who do you like and why? I'll have my opinion in a column in a few days. Meantime, I must say: Jake Long could turn out to be Richmond Webb or better and I'd still wish the team could have done more with the overall No. 1 pick.

     Championship jewelry: If each Kansas Jayhawk gets a championship ring, shouldn't each Memphis Tiger get a choker? Hey I'm just asking!

       Taylor in a waltz: The fey judge on Dancing With the Stars gushing to Jason Taylor about what a sexy, erotic Vienna Waltz he performed. Yeah, that'll play in the lockerroom!

      First-place Marlins: Just wanted to see how that looked in print and give it a chance to be said aloud. Say it while you can. Pretty neat thing, even for April. (Plus, UM baseball is ranked No. 1 the nation. South Florida rules this bleepin' sport!)

       Stanley Cup playoffs: Imagine. You and Olli Jokinen have played in the same number of NHL playoff games. I have no playoff pick and don't much care, other than rooting for the Canadian drought to continue. (America owns this bleepin' sport!)

      Favre's sort-of retirement: Brett Favre now says (story here) that he is happy with retirement but would return to the Packers if they had injuries and called him. Geez, make a decision dude.

     Boston cheers Buckner: Yeah, now. Easy to be magnanimous when you've won two of the past four World Series. Wild guess: Fenway reaction to the return of ultimate goat Bill Buckner would have been a tad less kind prior to '04. (I have little respect for Buckner, having zero to do with his famous error. He blames the media for the hell he went through, yet Buckner capitalizes on his own infamy with signed photos of Mookie Wilson's grounder rolling under his glove. He is pictured here with Wilson at one such memorabilia session).

      Women's basketbore: Watched some of the Tennessee-Stanford women's title game last night. Sorry. Women? Good. Basketball? Good. Women's basketball? Not so much. The game is slow and low, earthbound, not airborne. Am I wrong?

      The Masters: A sporting event unlike any other? Or just another golf major? The Masters at Augusta, starting Thursday, probably surpasses Wimbledon and trails only the Olympics for most self-reverential sports event. Super Bowl, maybe?

     Protesting a torch: C'mon, people. The Olympic torch is a symbol of a noble ideal. Impeding it with protests is misguided. Protest human-rights violations by host China. Fine. But let the torch pass.

     [Finally, a blogkeeping note: Several e-mailers have asked what happened to our mid-monthly "Ask the Blogmaster General&quo