A new recurring feature of the ol' bloggy blog this season will be the "Funny and Brilliant Stuff Shane Battier Says." The purpose of this theme is to further the legend of Battier's intellect while also brainwashing the masses in preparation for Battier's career after basketball as a public servant...
Q: We're in Washington, so I would be remise if I didn't ask you about the government shutdown. What are you thoughts on the shutdown and what needs to happen to end it?
BATTIER: "Well, there needs to be a conciliation; there has to be compromise — the way that our forefathers drew it up in the Constitution. It might be a good time just to read the Constitution and just remember what America was founded on. It might be a good refresher course for all of us.
Q: Is it depressing for you?
BATTIER: "It's not depressing. It's a sign of the times, I guess. I think you see in the media, much like you do in sports, personalities are created now more so than leaders. There are a lot of people trying to improve their cachet, and I think everyone is kind of losing sight of the main thing, and that is let's run our country to the best of it's ability.
Q: Fox News should be [encased in concrete and buried off the coast of Miami as an artificial reef] then?
BATTIER: [Laughing] That's enough political talk for today. I've already earned myself an audit.
—In related news, sources have confirmed to The Herald that Battier's first choice as a budding politician would be to run for public office as an independent candidate.