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Insane, massive, cold-blooded Twitter trash talk

This has absolutely nothing to do with the Heat other than every single player on the team is going to be talking about this today. (Note from the Author: I reserve the right the write about anything I want. This is my blog.)

So, the Nets got a big road win at The Garden on Monday. OK. Cool. Good for Brooklyn. Not enough, thought Brooklyn big man Kris Humphries. I've to got to throw some salt into this wound, he thought. That's my job. I play for Brooklyn. Humphries posted this on Twitter:

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Silly, but no big deal, right? I mean, athletes basically do this every game when they make a big shot in an opponent's building and then put a finger over their mouths to mock a quieted crowd. (And, man, you've got to love that Humphries smile. That's an All-American grin.)

Well, it was a big deal to Knicks guard J.R. Smith, who took one look at Humphries' fecal-gorging grin on Twitter and shot back the King Kong of all replies:

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As they say, there goes the neighborhood. And you thought Kevin Garnett instigating a fued with Carmelo Anthony about some cereal was a big deal.

I mean, Smith's jape right there would make Shakespeare proud. No room for rebuttal. No way to get the last word. Just, shut the hell up, Humphries.

In all seriousness, what Smith did in that tweet broke every unspoken rule of civility in the history of everything. Here are The Unspoken Rules of Civility in the History of Everything:

1. Do not publically mock someone.

2. Do not use a person's failed marriage as a source of derision.

3. Do not insinuate that a person’s former spouse's new lover does anything better than said person.

Those are pretty much all of The Unspoken Rules of Civility in the History of Everything.


—Should the NBA ever regulate Twitter by fining players for something like, say, destroying a man's entire world with eight words?

—Should David Stern create some sort of Official NBA Guideline to Gentlemanly Behavior?

—Will Kris Humprhies ever crawl out of the dark corner of shame he retreated to after J.R. Smith obliterated his psyche?


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