Dave Barry's Blog

PSSST, BLOGLADIES

Here you go.

(Heartfelt thanks to nursecindy)

WE HAVE A STRICT POLICY AGAINST POSTING BLATANT ADVERTISEMENTS

But we have an even stricter policy of always blogging semi-naked men if we can get away with it, which we think we can, at the moment, because The Blog is on a plane.

(THANK YOU to Ginger B.)

THIS JUST IN

There's definitely a cat up my tree, or something.

  

MOVE OVER, SUSAN BOYLE

You're blocking the view.

(Thanks to Dr. Doug)

A STORY YOU WILL NEVER SEE POSTED ON THIS BLOG

Unless The Blog is at an event and we are fairly certain he will not notice it when he gets back.

(Thanks to DavCat)

NTTAWWT

(Thanks - umm, yeah! - to nursecindy)

SPEAKING OF BARBIE

One of the ladies in my online book club (where we were discussing the junk that is in our basements) said she had Earring Magic Ken in hers.

Key quote since The Blog is out of town: "On closer inspection, Ken's entire Earring Magic outfit looks like three-year old rave wear. A Gaultier purple faux-leather vest, a straight-out-of-International-Male purple mesh shirt, black jeans and shoes."

(Thanks to Poe, since the Ladies of the Blog are failing miserably in their submission of dodgy sites)

GOLF

Apparently not as boring as we thought.

(Thanks to Not My Usual Alias and Bill Hudgins)

(NOTE TO MEN: Be aware of the category)

IT IS ONLY BECAUSE OF THIS BLOG'S LONGTIME PROFESSIONAL INTEREST IN FIGURE SKATING

...that we are linking to this.

WARNING: Not safe for people who do not wish their screen to display a bosom.

(Thanks to Jeff Meyerson, who gives her a 9.5)

IT'S ALMOST 2009

We'd better get our calendars!

(Thanks to Annie Where-but-here)

IT'S AN OUTRAGE

Not so much the issue as the cropping of the protest photo.

(Thanks to Baron vonKlyff and RussellMc)

URGENT BUT NOT SAFE FOR WORK UPDATE: Say what you want about the French, but they do not crop.

(Thanks to Danny)

THIS JUST IN

(Thanks to Erik Olson)

ADVISORY: Opening this link will expose you to exposure.

Related item here.

WHILE THE BLOG'S AWAY...

We'll take a break from the usual stealth-bloggerette fare and offer you, if you have half an hour or so to spare, The Entire Reason The Internet Exists.

(Thanks to Amy Drees for the first link, and big freaking thanks a lot to all the people who already saw the other one and did NOT send it to us.)

IN CHARGE, EH?

Well, you know what this link ¹ features.

¹Sports.

(Thanks to Jeff Meyerson)

WE'RE GUESSING HE'S SINGLE

Whatever you do, do NOT click here.

Really. This is not safe for work, or anywhere else.

(Thanks to Chaz Schlueter)

p.s. Really.

ATTENTION, MEN

Don't even bother. Ladies, this one's for you.

(Thanks to Ginger in Las Vegas)

What? The Blog is not out of town? And soon there will be a loud and angry firing of a certain stealth bloggerette??

Hmmmm...

Yeah, It's worth it.

GUYS

Japanese guys.

Japanese guys on tv.

What more can we say.

Except this: Heed the warning.

(Thanks to Todd McLaren)

PLUCK AND DETERMINATION

"I honestly don't know how you will find the strength to go on."

We'll do our best, sir.

FRANCE

Home of The Really Fine Idea

(Thanks to DavCat, who points out they have a video and a website

ATTENTION, LADIES LOOKING FOR THE PERFECT GIFT FOR YOUR HUSBAND OR BOYFRIEND

Be sure to check all the ads thoroughly before you buy.

(Thanks to Siouxie)

ATTENTION: MEN, AND ANYONE ELSE WHO SHOULD NOT BE LOOKING AT NAKEDIDITY

Do not click this link.

(Women: Happy Halloween from DavCat and the s.b.)

(UPDATE: And make sure you make your next hotel reservation at Travelodge.)

(Thanks to Ginger B.)

WHILE THE BLOG'S AWAY...

Just following orders.

(Thanks to sthnbelle)

HOW'S IDAHO, SIR?

We here in Miami have solved many problems and are ready for a relaxing afternoon at the beach.

LADIES: FOR YOUR EYES ONLY

While The Blog's away, we can concentrate on... um... art appreciation. Yeah, that's the ticket.

(Thanks from annette gaudreau)

DON'T LOSE HEART, LADIES

The day's not over yet.

(In case anyone is unclear on the concept, Dave did not post this. He's away. Note the warning.)

WHY WE NEED CAMERA PHONES

Reason number 739.

(Thanks to DavCat)

ATTENTION, MEN (INCLUDING THE BLOG)

Don't bother clicking this link.

(Thanks to DavCat)

SOMETHING FOR A RAINY DAY

Hi Judi!

I am such a fan of Dave's blog and certainly appreciate all of your "special" posts for us ladies whenever he's gone.  I was doing legitimate research on the internet the other day when I came across this site, and thought I should pass it along:

http://www.allamericanguys.com/

It might come in handy in the future.

-Liz in the City

DON'T WORRY, SIR

While you're away, the s.b. is hard at work taking care of business on the job.

(NOTE the warning, men!)

(Thanks to Clean Hands)

TIS THE SEASON

...to buy a new calendar.¹

¹...while The Blog's away.

THERE IS NOTHING FUNNY ABOUT THIS SITUATION

And there aren't even any pictures, so we definitely aren't going to blog this.

(Thanks anyway to John Regan)

WHILE THE BLOG'S AWAY...

We'd better get busy looking at semi-naked men ordering our calendars. You never can tell when you'll need one. Get "your's" now!

MESSAGE TO THE BLOG

Sir --

Thank you for going out of town. We are happy to be able to blog this item while you are away. Do not click the link, please, sir. You are already using fruity shampoo.

In grateful appreciation --

All the ladies of the blog

(Thanks to annette gaudreau)

WE ARE NOT SURE WHAT THIS STORY IS ABOUT

But we have to blog pictures like this when the blog is away.

(Thanks to Wyo)

WHILE THE BLOG'S AWAY

There's still time to blog about Speedos. Err... Speedos. Aaaargh... SPEEDOS.

(Thanks to K. Colber)

WHILE THE BLOG'S AWAY...

We ladies love to have our productivity¹ enhanced.

(Thanks to Qween Puler)

¹(if you catch our drift.)

FOR THAT SPECIAL FATHER'S DAY MEAL

Don't go in the freezer.

(Thanks to Mike Antonucci, who is lucky we didn't click this link any closer to lunch.)

ATTENTION, LADIES WHO ARE LOOKING FOR THE PERFECT GIFT FOR FATHER'S DAY FOR A MAN WHO IS NOT YOUR FATHER

Eventually, he'll love it. If you know what we mean.

(Bonus Shopping Tip: Just keep hitting refresh.)

RUGBY

A sport we are thinking we could wholeheartedly support. As long as The Blog is in England and all...

SPORTS PHOTOJOURNALISM

We're for it.¹

(Sincere thanks to Layla Bohm)

¹Men, including The Blog: Note the warning.

WHILE THE BLOG'S AWAY...

It's the perfect time to get a little cleaning up done around here.¹

(Thanks to Sarah Christianson)

¹OK, so it's an ad. We don't care.

HIPPITY HOPPITY

Easter's on i...AAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAGH.

(Thanks to Drew Harchick. We don't want to know what you were looking for when you found this.)

ATTENTION, LADIES

There's wayyyyy too much interest in soccer in this country too, these days, don't you think?

(Thanks to Sarah J. and wolfie)

WE INTERRUPT THIS BLOG

...to bring you a bittersweet story about naked men a baseball player, written by a friend of mine, Gael Cooper. And I apologize in advance to The Blog, who doesn't really understand my passion for naked men OR baseball, but will probably not fire me for blogging a serious item just this once.

EBAY VEGETABLE PRODUCT OF THE DAY

It's a perfectly innocent item created by Mother Nature herself. (The slut.)

(Thanks to CoastRaven)

WHY THIS IS THE BEST JOB IN THE UNIVERSE, REASON #3

This catalog comes in the mail.

WE ARE NOT SURE WHAT THIS ARTICLE IS ABOUT

But we know we don't care.

(Thanks to Sarah C.)

A BLOW AGAINST TYRANNY

It's not so much that we care about student rights... it's that we hope more of them will grow up to appreciate freedom.

(Thanks to rickadjuster)

UPDATE: Freeeeeeeeeeeedom. Right, Jack?

ART APPRECIATION 101

Today's topic: The Art of Montana.

(Thanks to Drew Harchick)

IPOD JEANS...

Or these?
We report, you make the right decision.

(Thanks to Layla Bohm)