August 17, 2014

BRILLIANT

Frustrated Mom Creates ‘Ignore No More’ App To Get Teen Kids To Return Calls

“It takes away texting, it takes away the gaming, it takes away calling their friends."

(Thanks to Jim Kenaston and coscolo)

Posted by Dave on August 17, 2014 at 09:41 AM
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TO BOLDLY GO

Hello Kitty on space mission

(Thanks to funny man)

Posted by Dave on August 17, 2014 at 09:38 AM
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August 16, 2014

'HEEL! I SAID HEEL, DAMMIT!'

Guy Claims He Has Tamed a Japanese Giant Wasp, Keeps It on a Leash

(Thanks to Ralph)

Posted by Dave on August 16, 2014 at 06:35 PM
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'VAPORTINI'

Inventor claims his device offers a safer, gentler way to inhale liquor

(Thanks to Jon Harris)

Posted by Dave on August 16, 2014 at 06:32 PM
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GO FIGURE

47 resident doctors at Sion hospital in Mumbai fall ill after eating 'tricoloured barfi'

(Thanks to Katz Ajamas)

Posted by Dave on August 16, 2014 at 06:27 PM
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THERE IS NO WAY THIS WILL END WELL

Engineers in the US have built a swarm of 1,000 little robots that can shuffle into specific formations on command.

(Thanks to Craig Roberts)

Posted by Dave on August 16, 2014 at 06:25 PM
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CANADIAN DRUG PROBLEM WORSENS

Vulcan, Alberta, hopes to build its own working starship. It only needs $2-billion to make it work

(Thanks to The Perts)

Posted by Dave on August 16, 2014 at 06:23 PM
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TALK ABOUT PERKY

Spanish police say they have arrested a woman who landed at Madrid's international airport with 1.7 kilos (3.7 pounds) of cocaine hidden in her breast implants.

(Thanks to Bill Hudgins, who says, "C cups?")

Posted by Dave on August 16, 2014 at 06:20 PM
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IN THAT CASE, SIR, YOU ARE FREE TO GO

A South Florida man busted stealing thousands of dollars- worth of loot from a store told police and a judge his name was "Ima Thief."

(Thanks to Jeff Meyerson)

Posted by Dave on August 16, 2014 at 06:17 PM
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AND WE'LL PROBABLY BE DEAD

By 2025, ‘sexbots will be commonplace’

(Thanks to coscolo)

Posted by Dave on August 16, 2014 at 06:16 PM
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MAGIC!

Download Trim.X85VdO 

Posted by judi on August 16, 2014 at 04:44 PM
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DAVE'S OPENING ACT...

We do not want to know. Image

Posted by judi on August 16, 2014 at 11:04 AM
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August 15, 2014

NOW YOU KNOW

Kenny Rogers Says Lionel Richie Wrote 'Lady' on the Toilet

Posted by Dave on August 15, 2014 at 04:04 PM
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OUR LONG NATIONAL NIGHTMARE IS OVER

Snake OK after removal of ceramic egg in Pa.

Posted by Dave on August 15, 2014 at 04:01 PM
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IN CASE YOU'RE INTERESTED:

I'll be at the Aventura Mall tomorrow.

Posted by Dave on August 15, 2014 at 01:29 PM
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DON'T MAKE ANY PLANS FOR MARCH 16, 2880

Huge asteroid that 'could end human life' defying gravity as it moves towards Earth, scientists say

(Thanks to coscolo)

Posted by Dave on August 15, 2014 at 12:19 PM
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HE ALSO BAGGED A TEN-POINT RX-450

Bowhunter cited after poaching deer at Colorado Springs car dealership

(Thanks to Claire Martin)

Posted by Dave on August 15, 2014 at 12:08 PM
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WHY YOU SHOULD NEVER GO OUTDOORS

Knife falls from sky into Chinese man's head

(Thanks to Steve Litton)

Posted by Dave on August 15, 2014 at 09:49 AM
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THE LITTLE PERVERT

Watch randy squirrel hump hidden video camera set up to record him eating

(Thanks to Not My Usual Alias)

Posted by Dave on August 15, 2014 at 09:48 AM
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NOW HER ATTACKER IS IN A JAM

Florida woman attacked with jar of jelly over fight about shampoo

(Thanks to Jeff Meyerson)

Posted by Dave on August 15, 2014 at 09:46 AM
Permalink | Comments (4)

EXHIBIT A

Kid Rock Subpoenaed To Produce Glass Dildo As Evidence In Insane Clown Posse Lawsuit

(Thanks to Bill Hudgins)

Posted by Dave on August 15, 2014 at 09:44 AM
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MEANWHILE DOWN UNDER

We’re asking all the hard questions about wandering cock problem

(Thanks to Ralph)

Posted by Dave on August 15, 2014 at 09:43 AM
Permalink | Comments (6)

SO THEY'D BE ON PATROL IN THEIR UNDERWEAR?

Quebec city wants to force police officers to ditch outrageous pants

(Thanks to The Perts)

Posted by Dave on August 15, 2014 at 09:32 AM
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ALMOST HEAVEN

West Virginia woman jailed for attacking sister with spatula, biting finger

(Thanks to Jeff Meyerson, who says "We need to get them out of civilian hands.") (He is apparently referring to fingers.)

Posted by Dave on August 15, 2014 at 09:30 AM
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A JUNIOR FLORIDA LICENSE IS ON THE WAY

Police say an officer making a traffic stop in eastern Wisconsin found an intoxicated driver behind the wheel — and she was just 13 years old.

(Thanks to Jon Harris)

Posted by Dave on August 15, 2014 at 09:27 AM
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NOTHING THAT WE CAN THINK OF

What could go wrong? An alcohol delivery service, with underwear models, in L.A.

(Thanks to PirateBoy)

Posted by Dave on August 15, 2014 at 09:25 AM
Permalink | Comments (5)

August 14, 2014

'OF COURSE, MEN IN JAPAN HAVE NIPPLES'

Japanese Women Don't Want To See Man Nipples

(Thanks to Joe [a man] in Japan)

Posted by Dave on August 14, 2014 at 01:25 PM
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STATE OF CLASS

A Florida woman who once was busted for cheering on her teenage daughter during a videotaped brawl with a classmate was arrested yesterday after cops spotted her having sex with a 20-year-old man while standing outside a pickup truck parked in front of a Beef ‘O’ Brady’s restaurant.

(Thanks to B'game and Allen at Division)

Posted by Dave on August 14, 2014 at 01:23 PM
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NEVER HIKE WITHOUT A TENOR

Colorado Hiker Sings Opera, Fends Off Mountain Lion Attack

(Thanks to Ralph)

Posted by Dave on August 14, 2014 at 01:19 PM
Permalink | Comments (14)

OOPS

Australian hospital accidentally declares 200 patients dead

(Thanks to Jon Harris and funny man)

Posted by Dave on August 14, 2014 at 01:16 PM
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WHAT'S THAT SMELL?

Sweat-powered battery could charge your phone

(Thanks to Craig Roberts)

Posted by Dave on August 14, 2014 at 01:14 PM
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WHY PRETTY MUCH EVERYBODY WHO DOESN'T LIVE IN WASHINGTON HATES WASHINGTON

Enter Matthew Colbert, a former campaign and Hill staffer, who has built a new app for smartphones that allows users to scan the barcode of products in the grocery store and immediately find out what political party the company and its employees support.

Posted by Dave on August 14, 2014 at 10:52 AM
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CHECK OUT THOSE TOMATOES

Host of bizarre video series tries to increase the size of her bust by massaging it with vegetables

(Thanks to Jon Harris)

Posted by Dave on August 14, 2014 at 10:33 AM
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'IT DOES LOOK, AS THE POSTER ON FACEBOOK SAYS, LIKE A WILLY'

Berkhamsted 'phallus' map mocked on Facebook

(Thanks to John Finn)

Posted by Dave on August 14, 2014 at 10:30 AM
Permalink | Comments (9)

WE BLAME GLOBAL CLIMATE CHANGE

Why the price of commercial sex is falling

(Thanks to George Byars)

Posted by Dave on August 14, 2014 at 10:24 AM
Permalink | Comments (7)

THEY ARE VERY SLOW RUNNERS

Pocket gopher wins endangered species status due to ‘super-sized penis’

(Thanks to Glenn E. Nelson of Idaho)

Posted by Dave on August 14, 2014 at 10:13 AM
Permalink | Comments (6)

DO YOU HAVE ANY IDEA WHY I STOPPED YOU, SIR?

Man drags stolen safe behind car, arrested after passing officer

(Thanks to nursecindy, who says, "This almost never works." She does not say how she knows that.)

Posted by Dave on August 14, 2014 at 10:11 AM
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HE DID NOT GET FAR

Man in wheelchair robs bank, captured in parking lot

(Thanks to Craig Roberts)

Posted by Dave on August 14, 2014 at 10:10 AM
Permalink | Comments (3)

'THE PILOT SAID HE WOULD BE MORE CAUTIOUS IN THE FUTURE ABOUT CHECKING HIS ATTACHMENT'

Pilot's artificial arm 'became detached while landing plane'

(Thanks to Nigel Grout, John Finn and Bill Hudgins, who says "Talk about a dead-stick landing.")

Posted by Dave on August 14, 2014 at 10:08 AM
Permalink | Comments (6)

THEY WERE TOTALLY CONSENTING

Woman arrested for engaging in 'intimate act' with lawn chairs

(Thanks to Craig Roberts and Allen at Division)

Posted by Dave on August 14, 2014 at 10:05 AM
Permalink | Comments (10)

FRANCE ON HIGH ALERT

'Salmon Cannon' Fires Fish Over Dams At 22mph

We want one.

(Thanks to John Gregg)

Posted by Dave on August 14, 2014 at 10:01 AM
Permalink | Comments (11)

NAME THAT STATE!

Cabanas, according to the police report, was trying to have her child urinate in a beauty bottle product and both were throwing products around the store.

(Thanks to Jeff Meyerson)

Posted by Dave on August 14, 2014 at 09:59 AM
Permalink | Comments (4)

August 13, 2014

BAREFOOT

Models Walk on Insects for Chinese TV

(Thanks to Jon Harris)

Posted by Dave on August 13, 2014 at 05:44 PM
Permalink | Comments (11)

CSI: LINNTON

An Oregon resident called non-emergency dispatchers to report that there was a chicken crossing the road in Linnton and slowing traffic because it was taking too long to get to the other side.

(Thanks to The Perts and Cheryl Howard)

Posted by Dave on August 13, 2014 at 05:37 PM
Permalink | Comments (12)

HE BUILT 'CAMPSITES'

Teenager Made Corsicana Walmart His Home

(Thanks to Bill Hudgins and coscolo)

Posted by Dave on August 13, 2014 at 05:34 PM
Permalink | Comments (8)

MEANWHILE IN THE SOUTHERN HEMISPHERE

Miss Bumbum 2014 Contestants Hope To Have Brazil's Best Butt

(Thanks to Jon Harris)

Posted by Dave on August 13, 2014 at 05:24 PM
Permalink | Comments (11)

GLAD WE GOT THAT CLEARED UP

Defense Secretary: 'The World is Exploding All Over'

Why the Earth is farting

Posted by Dave on August 13, 2014 at 12:16 PM
Permalink | Comments (8)

WE ARE NOT MAKING FUN OF THIS PERSON'S NAME

Manassas principal resigns, loses teaching license after allegedly faking résumé

(Thanks to Harry Farkas)

Posted by Dave on August 13, 2014 at 11:47 AM
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AS IS HER CONSTITUTIONAL RIGHT

Florida grandmother demands $1,000 for 'pain and suffering' after bad haircut

(Thanks to Ralph)

Posted by Dave on August 13, 2014 at 11:42 AM
Permalink | Comments (8)

GOOD LUCK EXPLAINING THIS TO THE TIGERS

New York law bans so-called 'tiger selfies'

(Thanks to The Perts)

Posted by Dave on August 13, 2014 at 11:36 AM
Permalink | Comments (8)

 
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