December 11, 2014

A GIANT LEAP FOR MANKIND

British novelist sends lamb chop into the stratosphere

(Thanks to Ralph, who says "O'er the lamb parts...")

Posted by Dave on December 11, 2014 at 08:33 AM
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December 10, 2014

FLORIDA TRAFFIC REPORT

Numerous calves spilled out of the semi and were loose on both sides of the highway about 2:30 a.m. Wednesday.

Fortunately they all had valid Florida drivers' licenses.

(Thanks to Jon Harris)

Posted by Dave on December 10, 2014 at 05:36 PM
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YOUNG LOVE

A woman pranked her boyfriend by putting pepper spray on his toilet roll and then filming his agonised reaction.

(Thanks to Jon Harris, who says, "She's a keeper!")

Posted by Dave on December 10, 2014 at 05:32 PM
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DUDE, WE'LL TAKE IT

E. Wash. pot grower has trouble giving away $14,000

(Thanks to Craig Roberts)

Posted by Dave on December 10, 2014 at 05:21 PM
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JUST STOP

Hipsters Are Hanging Christmas Tree Decorations From Their Beards

(Thanks to Matt Filar)

Posted by Dave on December 10, 2014 at 05:20 PM
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SHE HAD THE RIGHT OF WAY

Drunk woman crashes car into boat in Toms River, police say

(Thanks to Brian Duval)

Related: Car crashes into garage -- through the roof

Car-in-roof-of-house-jpg

(Thanks to Mike Ester)

Florida licenses are on the way.

Posted by Dave on December 10, 2014 at 05:15 PM
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YES, SIR

Joseph Sapienza , 68, convinced two men trying to pry off the front door of his Gastonia, N.C., to leave by shuffling towards them with his .45-caliber pistol visible on his walker.

(Thanks to Jeff Meyerson, who advises you to stay off Mr. Sapienza's lawn.)

Posted by Dave on December 10, 2014 at 08:29 AM
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WE'RE ON OUR WAY

A Days Inn hotel built of 120 surplus shipping containers has opened in this northern Ontario town.

(Thanks to The Perts)

Posted by Dave on December 10, 2014 at 08:25 AM
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CONSUMER ELECTRONICS REPORT

The two women who want to make sure we can all orgasm

This has been the Consumer Electronics Report.

(Thanks to Joe in Japan)

Posted by Dave on December 10, 2014 at 08:23 AM
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ATTENTION, PETA:

Sheep wearing holiday sweater found wandering in Nebraska

(Thanks to The Perts)

Posted by Dave on December 10, 2014 at 08:20 AM
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BRIDE OF THE WEEK SO FAR

Traditionally, bridesmaids' hold bouquets; in our wedding, I want them to hold corgis.

(Thanks to Monique)

Posted by Dave on December 10, 2014 at 08:16 AM
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STAND TALL, HARVARD

Ben Edelman, Harvard Business School Professor, Goes to War Over $4 Worth of Chinese Food

(Thanks to Bill Hudgins)

Posted by Dave on December 10, 2014 at 08:13 AM
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December 09, 2014

SOMEBODY HAD TO DO IT

A Dutch woman who’s already driven her tractor across Europe and Africa reached a milestone last night when she reached the South Pole in her red Massey Ferguson MF 5610 tractor.

(Thanks to The Perts)

Posted by Dave on December 9, 2014 at 03:10 PM
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GO FIGURE

Woman inhaling nitrous oxide while driving crashes

(Thanks to Mike Ester)

Posted by Dave on December 9, 2014 at 03:06 PM
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SPEAKING OF BIRDS

To great tits, tradition seems important

(Thanks to Allen at Division)

Posted by Dave on December 9, 2014 at 03:05 PM
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WHAT COULD POSSIBLY GO WRONG?

Lufthansa to allow passengers to take FALCONS on board as they look to attract Middle East hunting enthusiasts

(Thanks to Peter Metrinko, who says "Finally, a solution for crying infants on long airplane flights.")

Posted by Dave on December 9, 2014 at 09:37 AM
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THERE ARE TALENTS...

...and then there are talents.

Advisory: NSFW. Also NSF anybody who does not wish to see a woman performing "Jingle Bells" with her talents.

(Thanks to Jon Harris)

Posted by Dave on December 9, 2014 at 09:35 AM
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AND THE SO-CALLED 'DEPARTMENT OF JUSTICE' DOES NOTHING

Eaten Alive Viewers Outraged Man Wasn’t Actually Eaten Alive

(Thanks to Bill Jones)

Posted by Dave on December 9, 2014 at 09:31 AM
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GUYS IN ACTION

Man directs peak-hour traffic with bag of frozen peas

(Thanks to Ralph)

Posted by Dave on December 9, 2014 at 09:30 AM
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WE'RE GLAD WE LIVE IN MIAMI, WHERE IT'S SAFE

Rogue sheep escapes owner, runs wild through Ypsilanti streets before being cornered by police

(Thanks to Betsy Beckerman)

Posted by Dave on December 9, 2014 at 09:16 AM
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GET THAT NOBEL PRIZE READY

Responsive "Bionic Bra" adjusts to breast movement

(Thanks to Rich Steurer)

Posted by Dave on December 9, 2014 at 09:11 AM
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ARE THOSE TWO DIFFERENT THINGS?

Twin punches sister to the floor, kicks and pulls her hair during fight over 'boyfriend and a sex toy'

(Thanks to Jeff Meyerson, who defies you to guess the state)

Posted by Dave on December 9, 2014 at 09:08 AM
Permalink | Comments (9)

FRANCE ON HIGH ALERT

TGI Friday’s much-hyped “Mobile Mistletoe” drones drew first blood in their New York City debut on Dec. 4 at the chain’s beloved Sheepshead Bay location when one of them hit our intrepid photographer right in the face.

Whoever could have predicted this?

(Thanks to The Amazing Steve)

Posted by Dave on December 9, 2014 at 09:05 AM
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WIMPS

Men hooked up to machine which simulates the pain of childbirth – and are reduced to tears within minutes

(Thanks to Ryan Jentzsch)

Posted by Dave on December 9, 2014 at 09:01 AM
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STRICT

A Korean Air Lines executive flying from New York to Seoul last week on one of the airline’s planes demanded that a crew member get off the jet prior to takeoff after the executive took issue with the way she was served macadamia nuts, a company spokesman said.

(Thanks to ThisMagicalEarth and The Perts)

Update: Korean Air 'nut rage' executive Heather Cho resigns

(Thanks to Craig Roberts)

Posted by Dave on December 9, 2014 at 08:59 AM
Permalink | Comments (7)

GOOD NEWS FOR THOSE WHO ARE BEHIND ON THEIR HOLIDAY SHOPPING

Russian scientist spies mountain-sized asteroid heading our way

(Thanks to coscolo)

Posted by Dave on December 9, 2014 at 08:56 AM
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December 08, 2014

IF IT KNOWS WHO I AM, THEN IT KNOWS I WANT IT TO GIVE ME CHEEZ-ITS

The vending machine of the future is here, and it knows who you are

(Thanks to coscolo)

Posted by Dave on December 8, 2014 at 05:12 PM
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NEVER LEAVE HOME WITHOUT IT

Man turns to beer to fend off attack in Dorchester

(Thanks to Poker)

Posted by Dave on December 8, 2014 at 02:24 PM
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WE'RE GONNA NEED A BIGGER LIMO

Leonardo DiCaprio enters club without girlfriend Toni Garrn, leaves with 20 women

(Thanks to David Emery)

Posted by Dave on December 8, 2014 at 02:23 PM
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MISSOURI GENEALOGY REPORT

Unfortunately, etc.

(Thanks to Unholy Slacker)

Related item here.

(Thanks to Mr. Tom Shroder)

Posted by Dave on December 8, 2014 at 02:21 PM
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CSI: ROSEMONT

Chlorine gas forces evacuation of furry-dressed conventioneers

Furries

(Thanks to Craig Roberts and Greg Snow)

Posted by Dave on December 8, 2014 at 02:11 PM
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DEPARTMENT OF PEOPLE WITH A LOT OF SPARE TIME

‘Seinfeld’ fan builds sitcom-themed fish tank in retro TV

(Thanks toCarl Youngdahl)

Posted by Dave on December 8, 2014 at 02:04 PM
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URGENT CANADA UPDATE

Things are now completely out of control:

Two men are facing mischief charges after a sandwich order gone wrong led to a snake-throwing confrontation at a Tim Hortons restaurant in Saskatoon.

(Thanks to The Perts)

Posted by Dave on December 8, 2014 at 01:54 PM
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CANADA: LAND OF MYSTERY

EDMONTON - John Huget could hardly believe it when a drunk man in a zebra costume stumbled into his living room in the middle of the night. 

(Thanks to Jay Brandes)

Posted by Dave on December 8, 2014 at 01:39 PM
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WHAT'S THAT SMELL?

Pig Lard Skin Care Line From Concord Goes National

(Thanks to Bill Hudgins)

Posted by Dave on December 8, 2014 at 01:38 PM
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GOT A SPARE FOUR MINUTES AND 30 SECONDS?

This is strangely riveting:

A Florida license etc. 

(Thanks to Janin Grimsby)

Posted by Dave on December 8, 2014 at 01:34 PM
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A GIANT LEAP FOR MANKIND

A group of rocket enthusiasts launched a porta-potty into the sky Saturday in southwestern Michigan. It made an arc and almost landed on a spectator's pickup truck, 2,000 feet away.

AP410002818526

(Thanks to Jay Brandes, Jim Maiwurm and PirateBoy)

Posted by Dave on December 8, 2014 at 11:55 AM
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SPORTS UPDATE

You're better off not watching the Sports Update.

(Thanks to Jenny Kellner and Chuck Cody)

Posted by Dave on December 8, 2014 at 11:52 AM
Permalink | Comments (6)

LOOKING FOR A GIFT FOR A GUY?

Look no farther.

(Thanks to Bill Hudgins)

Posted by Dave on December 8, 2014 at 11:37 AM
Permalink | Comments (19)

December 07, 2014

THOSE THINGS CAN BE DANGEROUS

Bomb scare turns out to be discarded sex toy

(Thanks to Jan in Grimsby)

Posted by Dave on December 7, 2014 at 08:45 AM
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BONUS: IT WAS A 'SERVICE CAT'

Two people, cat pepper sprayed at Seattle McDonalds

(Thanks to Craig Roberts)

Posted by Dave on December 7, 2014 at 08:42 AM
Permalink | Comments (11)

WE'RE SURE THERE'S A PERFECTLY INNOCENT EXPLANATION

PORTLAND, Ore. -- A Canby mother got a ticket in the mail for running a red light at 2:59 a.m. the morning after Halloween, a time when she says her car was supposed to be in the shop for repairs.  Attached to the citation was a snapshot from a red light camera, which shows one of the auto body shop's employees behind the wheel, and a woman in the passenger seat.

(Thanks to Woozy Barnes)

Posted by Dave on December 7, 2014 at 08:41 AM
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AND THEN WASH YOUR HANDS

They were cleaning the bathrooms at the interstate rest stop this weekend. I don't know why they thought this sign was a good idea.

Steve Hooley

Backside

 

Posted by Dave on December 7, 2014 at 08:36 AM
Permalink | Comments (11)

GUESS THE COUNTY

1:09 p.m. A man called in claiming that another man was chasing him with something he called an “inhibitor launcher.”

(Thanks to Chuck Cody)

Posted by Dave on December 7, 2014 at 08:32 AM
Permalink | Comments (8)

DNA UPDATE

I'm in NYC, hanging out with son Rob and grandson Dylan. Dylan is the one at bottom left. The Barry is strong in this one.

Dylan, Rob and Dave

A highlight of the visit was watching Dylan watch his dad on TV

 

Posted by Dave on December 7, 2014 at 08:28 AM
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MEANWHILE DOWN UNDER

Shock as scientists find 'electric' bacteria in the Yarra

(Thanks to Joe in Japan, who says "I, too, would be shocked to find electric bacteria in my Yarra.")

Posted by Dave on December 7, 2014 at 08:26 AM
Permalink | Comments (4)

December 05, 2014

WHO SAYS KIDS TODAY LACK INITIATIVE?

A drunk 19-year-old and a friend broke into his neighbors' home and stole all their furniture in order to furnish his new apartment, according to charges filed Wednesday in Pierce County Superior Court. However, he was reportedly nice enough to leave the victims some of his old furniture, as well as a traffic citation with his name and address on it.

(Thanks to Craig Roberts)

Posted by Dave on December 5, 2014 at 03:22 PM
Permalink | Comments (10)

'I'VE NEVER SEEN SUCH DETERMINATION'

One Direction Fan Falls in Horse Manure While Chasing Harry Styles

(Thanks to Chuck Cody)

Posted by Dave on December 5, 2014 at 03:15 PM
Permalink | Comments (14)

ANIMAL LOVER OF THE WEEK SO FAR

Man puts snake and tarantula in mouth

(Thanks to Jon Harris, who says "No word on whether he's single.")

Posted by Dave on December 5, 2014 at 02:47 PM
Permalink | Comments (8)

BREAKING NEWS UPDATE

Stolen 5,000-pound bridge recovered in Michigan

(Thanks to Jon Harris and Ken Fineberg)

Posted by Dave on December 5, 2014 at 12:44 PM
Permalink | Comments (6)

 
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