October 15, 2014

SHE CLAIMED SHE WAS ONLY 109

113-year-old woman had to fake her age to get on Facebook

(Thanks to Steve K)

Posted by Dave on October 15, 2014 at 08:57 AM
Permalink | Comments (6)

October 14, 2014

ALSO IT NOW HAS A VALID FLORIDA LICENSE

Grey parrot with impeccable British accent returned to Californian owner after four years... but now he speaks SPANISH

(Thanks to Focalpoint, Bill Hudgins and Gargoyle Socks)

Posted by Dave on October 14, 2014 at 11:32 AM
Permalink | Comments (7)

MEANWHILE IN SPORTS

Rob Gronkowski wants his linemen to get laid

(Thanks to Allen at Division)

Posted by Dave on October 14, 2014 at 10:28 AM
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WE NEED A QUARANTINE

A dangerous epidemic is sweeping Canada, and it’s called ‘wexting’

(Thanks to W. von Papineau)

Posted by Dave on October 14, 2014 at 10:27 AM
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AND THIS BLOG IS PART OF IT

'Walking Dead' mullet has its own fan base, actor says

(Thanks to The Perts)

Posted by Dave on October 14, 2014 at 10:23 AM
Permalink | Comments (4)

FLORIDA EDUCATION REPORT

Teacher Jessica Vanessa Quits To Twerk On Vine, Makes A Buttload Of Money

This has been the Florida Education Report.

(Thanks to Jeff Meyerson)

Posted by Dave on October 14, 2014 at 10:19 AM
Permalink | Comments (12)

CSI: KEY WEST

Tourist calls police about angry iguana

(Thanks to Ralph)

Posted by Dave on October 14, 2014 at 07:35 AM
Permalink | Comments (8)

SQUIRREL TERRORISM UPDATE

Now the little furred bastards are attacking pandas.

(Thanks to Rick Day)

Posted by Dave on October 14, 2014 at 07:23 AM
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October 13, 2014

BOO

Pumpkinstein.

(Thanks to Howard from Broward)

Posted by Dave on October 13, 2014 at 06:11 PM
Permalink | Comments (8)

WHO SAYS THERE'S NO CULTURE ON THE INTERNET?

Not this blog.

Advisory: Not totally SFW.

(Thanks to Ralph)

Posted by Dave on October 13, 2014 at 06:07 PM
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THE CHARGE WILL NEVER STICK

Truck containing 36,000 pounds of Crisco stolen

(Thanks to Jay Brandes, Will Dooley and Gordon Anderson, who says "Hide the chickens.")

Posted by Dave on October 13, 2014 at 06:04 PM
Permalink | Comments (11)

STAY CLASSY, EAGLES FANS

Prosthetic leg reported stolen near stadium found

(Thanks to Jon Harris, who is shocked that alcohol may have been involved)

Posted by Dave on October 13, 2014 at 10:00 AM
Permalink | Comments (14)

WE'RE GONNA NEED MORE GARLIC BUTTER

'Giant crab' measuring 50ft spotted off British coast

(Thanks to Jeff Meyerson, who says "France on highest alert.")

Posted by Dave on October 13, 2014 at 09:57 AM
Permalink | Comments (13)

FIRST-WORLD PROBLEMS

$20K Hermès Birkin bags ‘smell like marijuana’

(Thanks to Focalpoint)

Posted by Dave on October 13, 2014 at 09:54 AM
Permalink | Comments (11)

SERIOUSLY, EW

'I had a three-inch leech up my nose for a MONTH'

(Thanks to DaninDallas)

Posted by Dave on October 13, 2014 at 09:45 AM
Permalink | Comments (9)

October 12, 2014

'BRUX THEN CALLED HIS SUPERVISOR AND ASKED HER IF SHE WANTED TO PLAY CHICKEN'

Disgruntled employee steals train

Brux said he estimated he was going 60 mph for about 15 minutes before plowing through switch 1.

(Thanks to Jeffrey Brown and Peter Metrinko, who says a Florida license is on the way.)

Posted by Dave on October 12, 2014 at 05:42 PM
Permalink | Comments (11)

HE WON'T GET FAR IN THOSE HEELS

Creepy thief is stealing shoes right off women’s feet

(Thanks to Jeff Meyerson)

Posted by Dave on October 12, 2014 at 05:34 PM
Permalink | Comments (8)

WHO SAYS MEN AREN'T ROMANTIC?

British burglar has sex with teddy bear mid-crime

(Thanks to Jeff Meyerson)

Posted by Dave on October 12, 2014 at 05:27 PM
Permalink | Comments (7)

IT'S AS IF THEY'VE NEVER EVEN HEARD OF THE CONSTITUTION

Endangered Tree Snails Keep Hawaii Public Radio Off the Air

(Thanks to John Mayson)

Posted by Dave on October 12, 2014 at 05:24 PM
Permalink | Comments (4)

FRANCE ON HIGH ALERT

Mysterious clowns appear at night in California city

(Thanks to Jon Harris, Jay Brandes and PirateBoy)

Posted by Dave on October 12, 2014 at 05:21 PM
Permalink | Comments (7)

AND STAY OFF THEIR LAWNS

Fist Fight Between Great Grandmothers In Hospital Maternity Ward

(Thanks to Chris Elzi, Jeff Meyerson and Bill Hudgins)

Posted by Dave on October 12, 2014 at 05:19 PM
Permalink | Comments (5)

'I SAID "IT'S A LARGE GOLD MEDAL," AS ONE DOES'

What It’s Like to Carry Your Nobel Prize through Airport Security

(Thanks to The Amazing Steve and Ralph)

Posted by Dave on October 12, 2014 at 05:16 PM
Permalink | Comments (9)

WE THOUGHT THIS DAY WOULD NEVER COME

Good news: You can take your fecal transplants orally

(Thanks to Jay Brandes, John Gregg and Vernon Bowen, who says "That's also the bad news.")

Posted by Dave on October 12, 2014 at 05:13 PM
Permalink | Comments (9)

October 10, 2014

UNFORTUNATELY,

etc.

(Thanks to Unholy Slacker)

Posted by Dave on October 10, 2014 at 06:04 PM
Permalink | Comments (15)

BUT OF COURSE

Man with Tom Brady's Helmet Tattooed onto Head Arrested in Florida

(Thanks to Larry Martell, Poker and Bill Hudgins)

Posted by Dave on October 10, 2014 at 05:56 PM
Permalink | Comments (10)

THANKS, RESEARCHERS!

Researchers study snakes to build a better snake robot

(Thanks to The Perts and Jim Kenaston)

Posted by Dave on October 10, 2014 at 11:18 AM
Permalink | Comments (11)

CSI: SEATTLE

Greenwood human garden pooper goes viral

(Thanks to Craig Roberts)

Posted by Dave on October 10, 2014 at 10:18 AM
Permalink | Comments (7)

WHOA

Kangaroo Fight

(Thanks to klezmerphan)

Posted by Dave on October 10, 2014 at 10:15 AM
Permalink | Comments (8)

YOU NEED THIS

Paper Airplane Machine Gun

(Thanks to Jeff Meyerson)

Posted by Dave on October 10, 2014 at 10:08 AM
Permalink | Comments (6)

'GO WITH THE FLOW'

UEA students urged to urinate in shower

(Thanks to George Byars)

Posted by Dave on October 10, 2014 at 10:06 AM
Permalink | Comments (18)

ANGRY BIRD

Hawk knocks drone out of the sky

(Thanks to coscolo)

Posted by Dave on October 10, 2014 at 10:03 AM
Permalink | Comments (6)

AWKWARD

Dwarf stripper gets bride-to-be PREGNANT on hen night

(Thanks to Ron G.)

Posted by Dave on October 10, 2014 at 10:01 AM
Permalink | Comments (17)

800 POUNDS

The cremation of an oversized body apparently helped set ablaze the roof of a crematory Wednesday when the smokestack overheated and set roofing material on fire.

(Thanks to Bill Hudgins, Loudmouth and B'game)

Posted by Dave on October 10, 2014 at 09:57 AM
Permalink | Comments (9)

STAY CLASSY, HALLOWEEN PEOPLE

Ebola may be a popular Halloween costume theme this year

(Thanks to The Perts)

Posted by Dave on October 10, 2014 at 09:53 AM
Permalink | Comments (7)

THEREBY QUALIFYING FOR FLORIDA DRIVERS' LICENSES

Killer Whales can Apparently Learn to Speak Dolphin

(Thanks to Ross Holley and Nelson)

Posted by Dave on October 10, 2014 at 09:51 AM
Permalink | Comments (5)

FRANCE ON HIGH ALERT

Tiger released into wild by Vladimir Putin crosses into China

(Thanks to Craig Roberts)

Posted by Dave on October 10, 2014 at 09:50 AM
Permalink | Comments (6)

October 09, 2014

MAY THE FORCE BE WITH... EWW

Star Wars Farts seeks to improve the Star Wars prequel trilogy by adding farts over its entire 6-hour run-time.

(Thanks to The Amazing Steve)

Posted by Dave on October 9, 2014 at 12:07 PM
Permalink | Comments (23)

SOON WE WILL HAVE NO CONSTITUTIONAL RIGHTS LEFT

Niceville Police officers were called to a residence after a man allegedly decided he wanted to sing and dance outside.

(Thanks to Peter Metrinko)

Posted by Dave on October 9, 2014 at 11:04 AM in 24
Permalink | Comments (14)

BE ON THE LOOKOUT

Hunt on for 1.5-ton gargoyles missing from church

(Thanks to Jon Harris)

Posted by Dave on October 9, 2014 at 10:49 AM
Permalink | Comments (8)

YOU KNOW YOU HAD A GOOD TIME WHEN...

A man on a wildly intoxicated post-wedding quest for more alcohol early last Friday in SoDo was shot in the thigh by a robber and failed to notice until the next day, according to the Seattle Police Department.

(Thanks to Craig Roberts)

Posted by Dave on October 9, 2014 at 09:37 AM
Permalink | Comments (10)

SHE HAD HER REASONS

Drunk Florida stripper attacks boyfriend with an ax

(Thanks to Jeff Meyerson)

Posted by Dave on October 9, 2014 at 08:48 AM
Permalink | Comments (10)

THE ANTIDOTE: NAPPING

Multitasking Damages Your Brain And Career, New Studies Suggest

(Thanks to Focalpoint)

Posted by Dave on October 9, 2014 at 08:46 AM
Permalink | Comments (6)

NAME THAT STATE!

Police did not buy a tar-smeared man’s story that he was visiting family on the roof of a convenience store at 3 a.m. Tuesday.

Unnamed

(Thanks to Jeff Meyerson)

Posted by Dave on October 9, 2014 at 08:44 AM
Permalink | Comments (10)

FRANCE ETC.

Fanged cannibal spiders with 'bee-sting' bite invade British street

(Thanks to Ralph)

We saw them open for the Clash.

Posted by Dave on October 9, 2014 at 08:41 AM
Permalink | Comments (3)

YOU HAVE THE RIGHT TO... HEY!

Couple Had Sex In Back Seat Of Police Cruiser

(Thanks to Bill Hudgins and Michael Huber)

Posted by Dave on October 9, 2014 at 08:36 AM
Permalink | Comments (9)

DO *NOT* FOUL IT

'NBA 2K15' face scans create mutant horrors

141007172835-nba-2k15-face-scan-story-top

(Thanks to Fabian Marson)

Posted by Dave on October 9, 2014 at 08:35 AM
Permalink | Comments (3)

IT'S ESCALATING

Cyclist recalls being 'torpedoed’ by squirrel

(Thanks to Craig Roberts)

Posted by Dave on October 9, 2014 at 08:33 AM
Permalink | Comments (6)

October 08, 2014

OH, SHUT UP

Why Florida’s record-setting hurricane drought portends danger

(Thanks to Gordon Anderson)

Posted by Dave on October 8, 2014 at 02:48 PM
Permalink | Comments (23)

TEXAS GENEALOGY UPDATE

Unfortunately, etc.

(Thanks to Chuck Cody)

Posted by Dave on October 8, 2014 at 02:45 PM
Permalink | Comments (10)

WE SAW THEM OPEN FOR THE RAMONES

Restless Genital Syndrome

(Thanks to Unholy Slacker)

Posted by Dave on October 8, 2014 at 02:41 PM
Permalink | Comments (11)

 
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