November 19, 2014

THE NATION CAN FINALLY BREATHE EASY

Police say a couple who stole hundreds of dollars’ worth of shrimp from grocery stores in Massachusetts and New Hampshire have been captured.

(Thanks to Monique)

Posted by Dave on November 19, 2014 at 09:16 AM
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CRIMINAL MASTERMIND OF THE WEEK SO FAR

Texan arrested for trying steal police car, with detective inside

(Thanks to Jeff Meyerson)

Posted by Dave on November 19, 2014 at 09:14 AM
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WE'D WANT AT LEAST THREE

Drunk driver hits officer with truck, wants beer

(Thanks to Craig Roberts)

Posted by Dave on November 19, 2014 at 09:11 AM
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November 18, 2014

MIAMI BOOK FAIR CAPTION CONTEST

IMG_5082

Posted by judi on November 18, 2014 at 09:48 PM
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IT TOOK 17 HOURS, WHICH IS HOW LONG THIS BLOG ONCE STOOD IN LINE FOR SPACE MOUNTAIN

Two men take on all 46 rides at Disney World in one day

(Thanks to Jeff Meyerson)

Posted by Dave on November 18, 2014 at 02:07 PM
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THERE IS NO GOOD REASON FOR THOSE THINGS TO BE IN CIVILIAN HANDS

Police: Man threw frozen turkey during fight

(Thanks to Bill Hudgins)

Posted by Dave on November 18, 2014 at 02:01 PM
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IT'S THE MOST WONDERFUL TIME OF THE YEAR

Vomit Town USA: SantaCon 2014 is Coming to Bushwick

(Thanks to Jeff Meyerson)

Posted by Dave on November 18, 2014 at 01:59 PM
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STRICT

A New Mexico middle school teacher is facing charges that allege he threatened a student with a knife for talking during a pop quiz, police said Monday.

(Thanks to  Jon Harris)

Posted by Dave on November 18, 2014 at 01:57 PM
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CANADA: PARTY NATION

The drunk birds have been accidentally flying into windows and walls, so the territory’s animal health unit is trying to nurse the injured ones back to health -- and sobriety.

(Thanks to The Perts and W. von Papineau)

Posted by Dave on November 18, 2014 at 09:08 AM
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THANKS, BUT WE'LL STICK WITH BEER

Peru's 'frog Juice' Claims Big Health Benefits

(Thanks to Peter Metrinko, who says "This reminds me of the Bass-O-Matic.")

Posted by Dave on November 18, 2014 at 09:06 AM
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BEER IS MORE VALUABLE

Physicists Explain Why Coffee Is More Prone to Spills Than Beer

(Thanks to Jon Harris)

Posted by Dave on November 18, 2014 at 09:03 AM
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IT'S A CONTACT SPORT

Owasso Man Arrested On Charge Of Biting Off Bowler's Ear

(Thanks to Jeff Meyerson)

Posted by Dave on November 18, 2014 at 09:00 AM
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November 17, 2014

YES

Is this the most terrifying car journey ever?

(Thanks to Jan in Grimsby)

Posted by Dave on November 17, 2014 at 04:23 PM
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THANKS, SCIENTISTS!

In just ten seconds, one kiss can transfer up to 80 million bacteria, according to a new study published in the journal Microbiome.

(Thanks to The Perts and plhubbard)

Posted by Dave on November 17, 2014 at 04:14 PM
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MIAMI DRIVERS WOULD NOT HAVE MISSED HIM

This Is the Luckiest Pedestrian in the World

(Thanks to John Gregg)

Posted by Dave on November 17, 2014 at 04:08 PM
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'MOTORISTS WERE SLOWING DOWN TO WATCH'

Couple had sex in car parked outside jail

(Thanks to DaveM)

Posted by Dave on November 17, 2014 at 04:06 PM
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APOCALYPSE UPDATE

Image of Virgin Mary grows on tree in Iowa

(Thanks to B'game)

Man Sees Jesus in His Chicken Dinner

(Thanks to Nelson from Michigan)

Posted by Dave on November 17, 2014 at 09:53 AM
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WHERE THE HELL IS THE UNITED NATIONS?

The world’s biggest chocolate-maker says we’re running out of chocolate

(Thanks to David Emery)

Posted by Dave on November 17, 2014 at 08:57 AM
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CSI: SEATTLE

Police say a second man, who told Flick he was knowledgeable about bald eagles, said he believed the birds had locked talons and became stuck after taking part in a mating ritual.

(Thanks to Craig Roberts)

Posted by Dave on November 17, 2014 at 08:51 AM
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THIS IS EXACTLY WHY WE HAVE 911

Family lost in maze called police

(Thanks to Jon Harris)

Posted by Dave on November 17, 2014 at 08:49 AM
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LAND OF MYSTERY

According to Wikipedia, this is the only monument to the enema in the entire world. It features a 360 kilogram brass syringe bulb held aloft by three angels. It is located at the Mashuk spa in Inozemtsevo, Russia.

Sculpture

(Thanks to Jesse Stavis)

Vaguely Related: 'Sesame Street' is 45, so Ernie got a colonoscopy

(Thanks to Jon Harris)

Posted by Dave on November 17, 2014 at 08:45 AM
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UNFORTUNATELY,

etc.

(Thanks to Unholy Slacker)

Posted by Dave on November 17, 2014 at 08:42 AM
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NO CAT WOULD EVER DO THIS

Dog named Buddy jumps on the back of an ambulance to ride on the bumper after his 85-year-old owner is taken to hospital

(Thanks to Jeffrey Brown)

Posted by Dave on November 17, 2014 at 08:39 AM
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YOU GOT TO KNOW WHEN TO FOLD 'EM

Jose Canseco Says His “Smelly” Finger Fell Off During A Poker Tournament

(Thanks to Bill McGeachen, dahook, Rob "I'll see your finger and raise you an eye" Simbeck and Janice "All In" Gelb)

Posted by Dave on November 17, 2014 at 08:37 AM
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November 15, 2014

IN THAT CASE SIR, YOU WILL BE EXECUTED WITHOUT TRIAL

"You can't arrest me. I'm the Cake Boss."

(Thanks to Jay Brandes)

Posted by Dave on November 15, 2014 at 12:53 PM
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IT NEVER GETS OLD

Uranus might be full of surprises

(Thanks to Jon Harris)

Posted by Dave on November 15, 2014 at 12:50 PM
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GET THAT NOBEL PRIZE READY

First penis transplants could be just five years away after scientist has success - in rabbits

Possibly Related: Severed penis found on Torrance County doorstep

(Thanks to Larry Martell)

Posted by Dave on November 15, 2014 at 12:47 PM
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WHY WE LOVE THE BRITS

They're sophisticated.

(Thanks to Robert Mathis)

Posted by Dave on November 15, 2014 at 12:45 PM
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DOGS IN ACTION

Golden Retriever ‘Buddy’ Gets Head Stuck In Cat House

Unnamed (1)

(Thanks to Jeff Meyerson)

Posted by Dave on November 15, 2014 at 12:39 PM
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TERRORISM UPDATE

A squirrel nabbed my GoPro and carried it up a tree (and then dropped it)

(Thanks to Peter Metrinko)

Posted by Dave on November 15, 2014 at 12:37 PM
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AS IS HIS CONSTITUTIONAL RIGHT

Man drops air pistol, pants at Seattle café

(Thanks to Craig Roberts)

Posted by Dave on November 15, 2014 at 12:29 PM
Permalink | Comments (5)

OTHER THAN THAT, IT WAS A FLAWLESS TRAINING EXERCISE

Columbus police will review their recruit-training procedures after a tumultuous morning in which three cruisers were wrecked in a chain-reaction crash, and tear gas carried by wind to an elementary school irritated the throats and eyes of several children and a pregnant, asthmatic teacher.

Unnamed

(Thanks to Jeff Meyerson)

Posted by Dave on November 15, 2014 at 12:28 PM
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November 14, 2014

SOMETIMES CANADA IS JUST SO *CANADIAN*

Supreme Court of Canada ruling makes honesty the law for businesses

(Thanks to The Perts)

Posted by Dave on November 14, 2014 at 05:15 PM
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IF YOU CAN MAKE IT THERE...

...you don't have to wear pants.

(Thanks to W. von Papineau)

Posted by Dave on November 14, 2014 at 01:19 PM
Permalink | Comments (11)

ALERT LEVEL LOWERED TO MAGENTA

Hunt called off for tiger on the loose near Paris – after experts say it could be a CAT

(Thanks to funny man)

Posted by Dave on November 14, 2014 at 01:13 PM
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ALSO TO WORK IN SALES

Male Chimpanzees That Engage in Bullying are More Likely to Become Fathers

(Thanks to Ross Holley)

Posted by Dave on November 14, 2014 at 01:12 PM
Permalink | Comments (2)

THIS EXPLAINS EVERYTHING

‘Mind-controlling’ parasite carried by cats may have infected 60 million people

(Thanks to funny man)

Posted by Dave on November 14, 2014 at 01:08 PM
Permalink | Comments (10)

TEDIUM ALERT

Italian performance artist Sven Sachsalber is to spend the next two days trying to find a needle in a pile of hay in a Paris museum, reports the BBC.

(Thanks to Jay Brandes)

Posted by Dave on November 14, 2014 at 10:44 AM
Permalink | Comments (13)

SCIENCE

NO ONE’S SURE WHY URANUS IS SO STORMY

(Thanks to Gabe)

It could be genetic.

(Thanks to Chuck Cody)

Posted by Dave on November 14, 2014 at 09:47 AM
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CSI: BRADLEY

Three white males caught on security video released by the Bradley police Wednesday helped themselves to a statue valued at $1,500 at the McDonald's on Illinois Route 50 in Bradley. After swiping the iconic clown the alleged thieves got back into their car and apparently completed their order at the drive-thru.

(Thanks to Jay Brandes)

Posted by Dave on November 14, 2014 at 09:41 AM
Permalink | Comments (8)

CLEARLY THEY DO NOT READ THIS BLOG

French explosives experts have been put on high alert as officials consider plans to carry out a controlled detonation of a beached whale.

(Thanks to Jay Brandes)

Posted by Dave on November 14, 2014 at 08:44 AM
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LOOK! UP IN THE SKY!

All across Manhattan, in glassy towers soon to be built or nearing completion, see-through chambers will flaunt their owners, naked, toweled or robed, like so many museum vitrines — although the audience for all this exposure is probably avian, not human.

(Thanks to ImNotDave)

Posted by Dave on November 14, 2014 at 08:40 AM
Permalink | Comments (7)

TREND ALERT

Lumbersexuals

(Thanks to The Perts)

Posted by Dave on November 14, 2014 at 08:35 AM
Permalink | Comments (19)

PERFECT

Duck Dynasty musical is to open in Las Vegas next year

(Thanks to Craig Roberts)

Posted by Dave on November 14, 2014 at 08:33 AM
Permalink | Comments (4)

MYSTERY FRENCH TIGER UPDATE

It's still out there.

(Thanks to W. von Papineau and The Perts)

Posted by Dave on November 14, 2014 at 08:31 AM
Permalink | Comments (6)

YOU SAY 'IDIOT,' WE SAY 'CONCERNED CITIZEN'

Idiot husband dials 999 because his wife wouldn’t give him the remote

(Thanks to Ralph)

Posted by Dave on November 14, 2014 at 08:28 AM
Permalink | Comments (6)

November 13, 2014

BOLO

An underwear bandit is actively stealing women's undergarments in Kodiak, Alaska.

Actively!

(Thanks to Jon Harris)

Posted by Dave on November 13, 2014 at 02:03 PM
Permalink | Comments (13)

BOFFIN UPDATE

Boffins PLUNGE into URANUS' depths

(Thanks to Jon Harris, Unholy Slacker and Jay Brandes)

Posted by Dave on November 13, 2014 at 01:54 PM
Permalink | Comments (10)

OR IS HE JUST GLAD TO SEE YOU?

Chain saw stolen in Florida thief's pants

(Thanks to Jeff Meyerson)

Posted by Dave on November 13, 2014 at 01:52 PM
Permalink | Comments (6)

HIGHEST ALERT *EVER*

Tiger on loose spotted near Disneyland Paris

(Thanks to Not My Usual Alias)

Posted by Dave on November 13, 2014 at 09:26 AM
Permalink | Comments (13)

 
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