January 21, 2015

THE BAR IS PRETTY LOW

Fish Sperm Is Way More Useful Than You Think

(Thanks to Ryan Jentzsch)

Posted by Dave on January 21, 2015 at 06:17 PM
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ESPECIALLY IF IT'S SOMEBODY ELSE'S MAN

'Woman on top' is most dangerous sex position, scientists conclude

(Thanks to Poker and Bill Hudgins, who says "I would've said, husband or boyfriend returning unexpectedly.")

Posted by Dave on January 21, 2015 at 06:15 PM
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DO NOT TRY THIS AT HOME

Man Rents Excavator, Bulldozes Home Without Telling Wife: "She's Aware of it Now; We're Good"

(Thanks to Steve K and John Gregg)

Posted by Dave on January 21, 2015 at 06:13 PM
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WHAT'S THAT SMELL?

Portland gets its first ever cat lounge

(Thanks to Craig Roberts)

Posted by Dave on January 21, 2015 at 10:39 AM
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AND INFECT IT WITH 'COPACABANA'

The worms that invade your brain

(Thanks to David Emery)

Posted by Dave on January 21, 2015 at 09:56 AM
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'GOOD DOG'

Petco pulls dog calming supplement off the shelf after it is revealed the boozy treats are 13 percent alcohol

(Thanks to Kim Michel)

Posted by Dave on January 21, 2015 at 09:55 AM
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ASKING THE TOUGH QUESTIONS

Just how fertile are Houstonians in these ZIP codes?

(Thanks to Judy Barrett)

Posted by Dave on January 21, 2015 at 09:53 AM
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A DAY THAT WILL LIVE IN INFAMY

We can't believe it.

Thanks to Ian Clark and SCemjazz, who says:

How South Carolina celebrates the occasion:

Squirrel burgoo: 1- 3 Squirrels, 1 onion chopped, 1 can beef broth, 1 bag baby carrots, 1 can sweet corn, 3-5 red potatoes, chopped; Mix together in crock pot, set on high for 4-6hrs.  Salt & pepper to taste.

Posted by Dave on January 21, 2015 at 09:50 AM
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THE HAPPIEST PLACE ON EARTH

Taiwan plans to build a sex and love theme park

(Thanks to PirateBoy)

Posted by Dave on January 21, 2015 at 07:07 AM
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AFTER WHICH THEY WERE ALL ISSUED FLORIDA DRIVERS' LICENSES

Japanese androids hold news conference, chat with baby droids

(Thanks to John Gregg)

Posted by Dave on January 21, 2015 at 05:53 AM
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MISSISSIPPI RETAIL REPORT

Snake bites customer on head in Corinth Lowe's

This has been the Mississippi Retail Report.

In Other Snake News: A snake remarkably escaped from a larger snake that swallowed it whole on the Greek island of Corfu, according to recently published photographs.

Posted by Dave on January 21, 2015 at 05:02 AM
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'SO TO ELEVATE THEM TO THE STATUS OF STATE AMPHIBIAN, I'M NOT THERE YET'

’Creepy’ Salamander won’t be state amphibian in Idaho

(Thanks to Craig Roberts)

Posted by Dave on January 21, 2015 at 05:00 AM
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CSI: HUEYTOWN

Door-to-door salesman in chicken suit arrested on outstanding warrant

(Thanks to Ralph)

Posted by Dave on January 21, 2015 at 04:50 AM
Permalink | Comments (7)

January 20, 2015

MEANWHILE IN SPORTS

American Tennis Player Pukes Her Way to Victory

(Thanks to Unholy Slacker)

Posted by Dave on January 20, 2015 at 03:05 PM
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BULLETIN BULLETIN BULLETIN

Taylor Swift ‘wants a big butt’

(Thanks to Unholy Slacker)

Posted by Dave on January 20, 2015 at 03:04 PM
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YIKES

"He just walked in with the rod in his head and I was just like, 'Is that a drum stick in your head?'" says witness Dylan Shea. "And he was like, 'Nah, it's a rod.'"

(Thanks to Janice Gelb)

Posted by Dave on January 20, 2015 at 12:22 PM
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BUT WE ALREADY HAVE CONGRESS

Japan to sell talking robots that won't make much sense

(Thanks to The Perts)

Posted by Dave on January 20, 2015 at 12:20 PM
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HE'LL OPEN FOR ELVIS

Liberace Is Going Back On Tour...As A Hologram

(Thanks to Bill Jones)

Posted by Dave on January 20, 2015 at 09:37 AM
Permalink | Comments (14)

APOCALYPSE UPDATE

Britain's best-selling newspaper The Sun has quietly dropped photos of topless women from page 3

(Thanks to John Gregg and Allen at Division)

Posted by Dave on January 20, 2015 at 09:36 AM
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THOSE THINGS CAN BE DANGEROUS

A suspicious package that triggered a security alert in Victoria's north-west was two pairs of underpants in a suitcase, police say.

(Thanks to Ralph)

Posted by Dave on January 20, 2015 at 09:12 AM
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CITY COUNCILOR TACKLES THE ISSUES

The Poppy, she says, looks too much like a certain part of the female anatomy when in bloom.

(Thanks to Ralph)

Posted by Dave on January 20, 2015 at 09:11 AM
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January 19, 2015

RUSSIANS: WE CANNOT TRUST THEM

"...so we went to the taxi cab company and they confirmed they have a driver with  a squirrel

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(Thanks to John Mayson, who says "This is why we have sanctions against them.")

Posted by Dave on January 19, 2015 at 01:33 PM
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'HERE COMES WILLIE AT A RUN, HE HAS NO PANTS'

Do Dancing Genitalia Belong on a Children's TV Show?

(Thanks to Ralph)

Posted by Dave on January 19, 2015 at 01:30 PM
Permalink | Comments (15)

CLASSY!

Five-year-old boy gets a bill for missing school friend's birthday party

(Thanks to Bill Hudgins, oneblankspace and Ron G.)

Posted by Dave on January 19, 2015 at 01:19 PM
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BECAUSE STATE LOTTERIES DON'T ALREADY INSULT YOUR INTELLIGENCE ENOUGH

NH Lottery launches $1 bacon-scented scratch ticket

(Thanks to Poker)

Posted by Dave on January 19, 2015 at 01:16 PM
Permalink | Comments (4)

RAISE YOUR RIGHT FLIPPER

Court Sets Trial Date for Sea Lion Odor Lawsuit

(Thanks to Chuck Cody)

Posted by Dave on January 19, 2015 at 01:14 PM
Permalink | Comments (8)

MEANWHILE IN SPORTS

Basketball fans throw legs of pork as Galatasaray beat Red Star

(Thanks to Janice Gelb)

Posted by Dave on January 19, 2015 at 10:39 AM
Permalink | Comments (8)

WE HAVE NO COMMENT

The NUTTY NARROWS BRIDGE, dedicated to the safe passage of squirrels over and above a Longview, Wash., street, has been added to the National Register of Historic Places.

(Thanks to Dave [but not the blog Dave])

Posted by Dave on January 19, 2015 at 10:37 AM
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AS FORETOLD IN THE BIBLE

Face of ET spotted in tree trunk on Isle of Skye

(Thanks to Monique)

Posted by Dave on January 19, 2015 at 10:29 AM
Permalink | Comments (5)

SCIENCE

Working long hours makes people drink more, according to a new study

(Thanks to Jon Harris)

Posted by Dave on January 19, 2015 at 10:26 AM
Permalink | Comments (7)

SEND THIS HORSE TO WASHINGTON

Archy The Horse Farts Like Crazy For Sweet Relief

(Thanks to Ralph)

Posted by Dave on January 19, 2015 at 10:19 AM
Permalink | Comments (5)

THANKS FOR SHARING

UFC'S PAIGE VANZANT: I Fight Better WITH PMS

(Thanks to manual tomato)

Posted by Dave on January 19, 2015 at 10:15 AM
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IT WAS A CONSENTING MAILBOX

British man arrested for trying to have sex with mailbox

(Thanks to Don Faber)

Posted by Dave on January 19, 2015 at 10:13 AM
Permalink | Comments (11)

January 18, 2015

ATTENTION, INVESTORS:

‘HappySac’ Kickstarter Seeks to Remedy a Highly Specific Man Problem

(Thanks to Unholy Slacker)

Posted by Dave on January 18, 2015 at 10:46 AM
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GUYS IN ACTION

Here’s What Happens When You Set Off Fireworks Beneath the Surface of a Frozen Lake

(Thanks to Steve K)

Posted by Dave on January 18, 2015 at 10:44 AM
Permalink | Comments (10)

WE'RE GONNA NEED A BIGGER NOBEL PRIZE

A&M researcher says cats are good at sleeping

(Thanks to oneblankspace)

Posted by Dave on January 18, 2015 at 10:43 AM
Permalink | Comments (14)

A MAJOR STEP UP

Former beauty queen swaps pageantry for fast food as she spends a year driving the Oscar Mayer Wienermobile

(Thanks to Jeffrey Brown)

Posted by Dave on January 18, 2015 at 10:42 AM
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AND THE MONA LISA MIGHT COME BACK WITHOUT THE SMILING LADY

24 Might Come Back… Without Jack Bauer

(Thanks to Jeff Meyerson and Steve K., who says "They'll have to stab themselves in the thigh.")

From The Amazing Steve: "If that happens, I'm going to stop holding back on how I critique the show in my write-ups."

Posted by Dave on January 18, 2015 at 10:29 AM
Permalink | Comments (7)

January 16, 2015

IT'S MORE LIKELY TO HAPPEN WHEN YOU'RE HAMMERED

Model with 's**t happens' tattooed on her bum during boozy party awarded £900 compensation

(Thanks to Charles Cates)

Posted by Dave on January 16, 2015 at 11:27 AM
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KIND OF LIKE TOSSING THE BRIDAL BOUQUET, ONLY MORE LIKELY TO RESULT IN FRACTURES

The traditional event, called "Mukonage" in Japanese, features newly married men being thrown onto the snow.

(Thanks to Godot51)

Posted by Dave on January 16, 2015 at 11:23 AM
Permalink | Comments (4)

IT WAS RELEASED AFTER PRODUCING A VALID FLORIDA DRIVER'S LICENSE

Team Rebel Fishing, a Port St. Lucie-based group of "extreme anglers," posted a video showing a friend of the group attempting to pick up a small shark found on a beach and ending up getting a bite on his ankle.

(Thanks to Ron G.)

Posted by Dave on January 16, 2015 at 11:21 AM
Permalink | Comments (6)

IT TASTES AS GOOD AS BAGPIPES SOUND

A SCOTTISH restaurant is set to serve Haggis flavoured ice cream in memory of Robert Burns, it was revealed today.

(Thanks to Ranald Adams)

Posted by Dave on January 16, 2015 at 11:19 AM
Permalink | Comments (11)

IN THAT CASE, SIR, YOU ARE FREE TO GO

The owner of a landscape company told prosecutors he rammed through glass doors of a Smith Haven Mall store in a stolen dump truck to swipe an automated teller machine because he was finding it hard to compete with immigrant labor.

(Thanks to Jenny Kellner)

Posted by Dave on January 16, 2015 at 11:03 AM
Permalink | Comments (8)

WHAT SEEMS TO BE THE PROBLEM, OFFICER?

Thrown Cocaine Landed On Hood Of Police Car

Guess the state.

(Thanks to Bill Hudgins)

Posted by Dave on January 16, 2015 at 11:01 AM
Permalink | Comments (7)

WHAT LIFE FEELS LIKE SOMETIMES

This.

(Thanks to Peter Metrinko)

Posted by Dave on January 16, 2015 at 10:45 AM
Permalink | Comments (16)

DISAPPOINTING

8-foot alligator found in yard didn't eat cats, family says

(Thanks to klezmerphan)

Posted by Dave on January 16, 2015 at 10:34 AM
Permalink | Comments (7)

UPDATE ON THE WORSENING EPIDEMIC THAT CONTINUES TO GET WORSE

A 62-year-old woman says she discovered a python on her bathroom floor when she went to take an overnight potty break.

(Thanks to Bill Hudgins)

Posted by Dave on January 16, 2015 at 10:28 AM
Permalink | Comments (10)

January 15, 2015

HOLD MY BEER

Stunt driver parallel-parks with just 3 inches to spare

Posted by Dave on January 15, 2015 at 05:51 PM
Permalink | Comments (7)

YOU HATE TO SEE THIS

Not a Happy Pongal For Koyambedu Poo Sellers

(Thanks to Unholy Slacker)

Posted by Dave on January 15, 2015 at 02:09 PM
Permalink | Comments (6)

NEVER TAKE IT OFF, EVEN IN THE SHOWER

Star Wars stormtrooper charity walker Scott Loxley saved from potentially deadly snake bite in north Queensland by iconic armour

(Thanks to Janice Gelb)

Posted by Dave on January 15, 2015 at 02:02 PM
Permalink | Comments (6)

 
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