January 10, 2017

'I'M OFFICIALLY MOVING TO ANOTHER COUNTRY'

Australian woman films battle to death between spider, snake

(Thanks to Bob Brogan)

Posted by Dave on January 10, 2017 at 12:57 PM
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'BOOST OUTPUT AND CREATIVITY'

Should we be taking masturbation breaks at work?

(Thanks to Jeff Meyerson)

Posted by Dave on January 10, 2017 at 12:55 PM
Permalink | Comments (22)

BUT DISCIPLINE WAS NOT A PROBLEM

A head teacher kept a seven-foot (2.1m) boa constrictor and tarantulas in his school office without checking if they posed a risk to children, government inspectors found.

(Thanks to Jay Brandes)

Posted by Dave on January 10, 2017 at 12:44 PM
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DOO-DAH, DOO-DAH

Cuttlefish Can Count to Five

(Thanks to Nancy Gill)

Posted by Dave on January 10, 2017 at 12:42 PM
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MIAMI-DADE TRAFFIC REPORT

I just turned on the local TV news, where the big story was headlined COW LOOSE ON HIGHWAY. They were showing live helicopter shots of a cow running around on a street in Hialeah Gardens, pursued by police. I'm assuming that if they catch it, it will produce a valid Florida license, and they will have no choice but to let it go. 

Posted by Dave on January 10, 2017 at 08:18 AM
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BREAKING SPORTS NEWS

Von Miller was reportedly fined $15,000 by his teammates for farting

(Thanks to Ross Couples)

Posted by Dave on January 10, 2017 at 06:08 AM
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THEY WENT AWAY?

Haircuts with Bangs Might Be Coming Back in 2017

(Thanks to Allen at Division)

Posted by Dave on January 10, 2017 at 06:03 AM
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AUSTRALIA: WHERE DREAMS COME TRUE

Reptile catchers remove venomous snake from little girl's night light

(Thanks to Bob Brogan)

Posted by Dave on January 10, 2017 at 06:01 AM
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WE SAW THEM OPEN FOR SPRINGSTEEN

Flaming load of muffins closes South Shore highway

(Thanks to Ralph)

Posted by Dave on January 10, 2017 at 05:58 AM
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January 09, 2017

THE SCIENCE IS SETTLED

A fortune teller who uses asparagus to predict the future claims Britain will have a thriving economy during 2017 and a ‘national treasure’ showbiz couple will divorce.

(Thanks to Le Petomane)

Posted by Dave on January 9, 2017 at 01:17 PM
Permalink | Comments (16)

YET ANOTHER ARGUMENT AGAINST CATS

Deputies mistake kitty litter for meth; after 3 days in jail, suspect cleared

(Thanks to Al Barkafski and Le Petomane)

Posted by Dave on January 9, 2017 at 01:15 PM
Permalink | Comments (9)

TOTALLY JUSTIFIED

A Dundalk man was taken into custody Sunday following an hours-long standoff with police that began when a family member took a bite from his grilled cheese sandwich, police said.

Autoplay.

(Thanks to Ross Couples)

Posted by Dave on January 9, 2017 at 01:10 PM
Permalink | Comments (7)

CANADA: BOLO

Man in Angry Birds costume attacks, punches passerby on Queen Street West

(Thanks to Bill Charles)

Posted by Dave on January 9, 2017 at 01:08 PM
Permalink | Comments (3)

IN THAT CASE, SIR, YOU AND ITCHY ARE FREE TO GO

Man accused of masturbating in public tells officer his penis was itchy, authorities say

(Thanks to Ross Couples)

Posted by Dave on January 9, 2017 at 01:05 PM
Permalink | Comments (13)

CRIMINAL MASTERMIND OF THE WEEK SO FAR

Ikea Shoplifter Stuffs Frying Pan in Skin Tight Leggings, Fools No One

(Thanks to Ralph)

Posted by Dave on January 9, 2017 at 06:32 AM
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TECH REPORT

If this works out, maybe you can advance to this.

(Thanks to Patty Villanova and Ross Couples)

Posted by Dave on January 9, 2017 at 06:17 AM
Permalink | Comments (18)

NO

Visit a Squirrel Hospital

(Thanks to ScottMGS)

Posted by Dave on January 9, 2017 at 06:13 AM
Permalink | Comments (9)

YET ANOTHER ARGUMENT AGAINST LEGALIZED KARAOKE

Senior Citizens’ Apartment Complex Bans Booze Following Drunken Antics

(Thanks to Ralph)

Posted by Dave on January 9, 2017 at 06:11 AM
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CLEARLY WE NEED TO ERECT A BIGGER ONE

Giant cockerel made of manure erected in Russia

(Thanks to Ross Couples)

Posted by Dave on January 9, 2017 at 06:09 AM
Permalink | Comments (9)

FLORIDAAAAAAAAA

Florida man accused of shooting cows with AR-15 from moving car

(Thanks to Ralph)

Posted by Dave on January 9, 2017 at 06:04 AM in Yes, it's old. But it's important.
Permalink | Comments (13)

January 08, 2017

NAME THAT STATE!

A game of ‘Family Feud’ at home turns into screwdriver attack in ear

Posted by Dave on January 8, 2017 at 05:44 PM
Permalink | Comments (10)

WE MISSED IT

'No Pants Subway Ride' set for Sunday in Philly

(Thanks to Vee)

Posted by Dave on January 8, 2017 at 05:40 PM
Permalink | Comments (7)

IN OTHER BEER-RELATED NEWS

Keurig and AB InBev team up on in-home booze maker

Shower beer maker promises glass bottles are fine to have in the shower

(Thanks to Le Petomane, Bobby Grawl, Rick Day, Dave N and Steve K)

Posted by Dave on January 8, 2017 at 05:33 PM
Permalink | Comments (5)

WE ASSUME SHE'S DRIFTING SOUTH

Police say a Pennsylvania woman drove into a river to avoid arrest, then ignored officers and continued drinking beer as she floated in the vehicle.

(Thanks to Le Petomane and Nancy Gill)

Posted by Dave on January 8, 2017 at 05:24 PM
Permalink | Comments (5)

January 06, 2017

YOU CAN'T SPELL IT WITHOUT DUH

Florida man tries to burglarize store that sells surveillance cameras.

(Thanks to the Perts)

Posted by judi on January 6, 2017 at 11:47 AM
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MISSION ACCOMPLISHED

Tung's son said his father appeared in a dream saying he wanted his memorial to be hilarious.

(Thanks to Bill Hudgins)

Posted by judi on January 6, 2017 at 11:28 AM
Permalink | Comments (10)

NAME THAT STATE!

Man charged with burning underwear at Starbucks

Posted by Dave on January 6, 2017 at 08:49 AM
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January 05, 2017

MEN

'Nuff said.

(Thanks to Andrew Mendez)

Posted by judi on January 5, 2017 at 09:49 AM
Permalink | Comments (13)

DUUUDE, LIKE, MERRY CHRISTMAS

New York Mom Accidentally  Receives 7 Pounds of Free Weed Instead of Children's Toys

(Thanks to Rick Day) 

Posted by judi on January 5, 2017 at 09:44 AM
Permalink | Comments (9)

January 04, 2017

WORDS THAT SHOULD STRIKE FEAR INTO THE HEART OF EVERYONE

"Inspired by the internet"

(Ummm..."Thanks?" to Patty V.)

Posted by judi on January 4, 2017 at 12:20 PM
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WE ARE NOT SAYING A WORD

Somebody's been building a wall

(Thanks to Jon Harris)

Posted by judi on January 4, 2017 at 12:14 PM
Permalink | Comments (10)

IT'S STARTING

Dog named Scarface attacks family for dressing it in sweater

Posted by Dave on January 4, 2017 at 08:26 AM
Permalink | Comments (12)

UPDATE

P1030328

Posted by Dave on January 4, 2017 at 07:10 AM
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January 02, 2017

CARIBBEAN DINING REPORT

We're vacationing in a Secret Undisclosed Caribbean Location, and on New Year's Eve we dined at an excellent restaurant that had this item on the dessert menu:

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A brave member (Ha!) of our party ordered it. This is is what it looked like.

PC310030

We were told it was delicious. We personally did not try it.

Posted by Dave on January 2, 2017 at 10:24 AM
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January 01, 2017

ADVISORY

Blogging will be sporadic for the next week or so, because we are attempting to recover from 2016, and also catching up on our reading.

20161231_141634 (1)
 

Posted by Dave on January 1, 2017 at 11:22 AM
Permalink | Comments (16)

December 31, 2016

PERHAPS THIS IS WHY IT'S A BUDGET AIRLINE

An Indonesian budget airline has fired a pilot suspected of trying to fly a plane while he was drunk, and two of its executives are resigning.

(Thanks to Ross Couples and Steve K.)

Posted by Dave on December 31, 2016 at 04:25 PM
Permalink | Comments (7)

NAME THAT STATE!

Elderly man angry about promotional mailer attacks salesman with golf club

(Thanks to Jon Harris)

Jupiter woman with dagger threatens brother who ate dumpling

(Thanks to Ralph)

Posted by Dave on December 31, 2016 at 03:26 PM
Permalink | Comments (14)

THIS JUST IN

Scientists design heat-activated penis implant

(Thanks to Jon Harris, who says "That seems like it could be uncomfortable during the summer months.")

Posted by Dave on December 31, 2016 at 03:23 PM
Permalink | Comments (13)

HAPPY NEW YEAR TO ALL YOU AMAZING (IN A GOOD WAY) (MOSTLY) BLOG PEOPLE

Really. And if you're a Miami resident, please don't shoot.

Posted by Dave on December 31, 2016 at 01:48 PM
Permalink | Comments (24)

December 30, 2016

WORST. YEAR. EVER.

Here's my review of 2016.

Posted by Dave on December 30, 2016 at 10:02 AM
Permalink | Comments (30)

December 29, 2016

STAND TALL, MIAMI

Miami Fan Punches West Virginia Fan With Prosthetic Leg in Bathroom Fight

Advisory: Unsportspersonlike language.

Clarification: The Miami fan did not use a prosthetic leg to punch the West Virginia fan.

(Thanks to Mr. Paul Levine)

Posted by Dave on December 29, 2016 at 01:35 PM
Permalink | Comments (9)

WHO SAYS TODAY'S YOUTHS LACK INITIATIVE?

6-year-old uses sleeping mom's thumb to break into phone to buy $250 in Pokemon toys

(Thanks to PirateBoy)

Posted by Dave on December 29, 2016 at 12:50 PM
Permalink | Comments (6)

NOTE, HOWEVER, THAT THEY ARE ALL CURRENTLY DEAD

Romans Used to Ward Off Sickness with Flying Penis Amulets

(Thanks to Chris Johnson)

Posted by Dave on December 29, 2016 at 12:46 PM
Permalink | Comments (10)

APPROPRIATE

A grammar school Christmas party called the 'Snow Ball' was shut down by police after bags of cocaine were found in the toilets.

(Thanks to Ross Couples)

Posted by Dave on December 29, 2016 at 12:39 PM
Permalink | Comments (5)

AAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAA

Woman sings Soulja Boy Tell ‘Em, calls cop 'sexy' in Stuart

(Thanks to ubetcha and Jeff Meyerson)

Posted by Dave on December 29, 2016 at 12:37 PM
Permalink | Comments (5)

A SUPPORT PEACOCK?

Too many air passengers fly with phony support pets, critics say

(Thanks to Ross Couples)

Posted by Dave on December 29, 2016 at 12:36 PM
Permalink | Comments (13)

IT WAS RELEASED AFTER PRODUCING A VALID FLORIDA DRIVER'S LICENSE

Naked dead body reported to police turns out to be a discarded blow up doll

(Thanks to Ralph)

Posted by Dave on December 29, 2016 at 12:33 PM
Permalink | Comments (6)

CSI: PUNE

Indian police in Pune hold 'snake venom smugglers'

(Thanks to wiredog, who says they put on a heckuva show at Coachella)

Posted by Dave on December 29, 2016 at 12:31 PM
Permalink | Comments (2)

THIS BLOG IS PREPARED TO PROVIDE EXPERT TESTIMONY

Contractor sues couple, claiming pet squirrel attack

(Thanks to John Mayson)

Posted by Dave on December 29, 2016 at 12:23 PM
Permalink | Comments (2)

IT GOES WITHOUT SAYING THAT MIAMI IS NUMBER ONE

Here are the worst red-light runners in Florida

(Thanks to Jeff Meyerson)

Posted by Dave on December 29, 2016 at 10:57 AM
Permalink | Comments (7)

 
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