November 10, 2017

UPDATE

The people charged in a bizarre naked kidnapping that ended in a car crash may have unknowingly drank some hallucinogenic tea over breakfast, says a relative.

(Thanks to Al Barkafski)

Posted by Dave on November 10, 2017 at 08:13 PM
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ATTENTION, PORTLAND:

The Portland City Clerk is seeking the owner of a set of dentures left in a polling booth Tuesday.

(Thanks to Vernon Bowen)

Posted by Dave on November 10, 2017 at 08:09 PM
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YOUR BREAST JOKE HERE

Strip clubs to give away 3,000 free turkeys to needy families for Thanksgiving

(Thanks to Le Petomane)

Posted by Dave on November 10, 2017 at 08:01 PM
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WHAT COULD POSSIBLY GO WRONG?

Facebook’s testing a new method to prevent revenge porn that requires uploading your nudes

(Thanks to Dave E.)

Posted by Dave on November 10, 2017 at 06:03 AM
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ALL ABOARD!

Mumbai Mail train engine runs 13 km on its own; pilot chases it on bike

(Thanks to Roberto)

Posted by Dave on November 10, 2017 at 06:01 AM
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THOUGHTFUL

Suspects rob Texas doughnut shop, pass out doughnuts while they're at it

(Thanks to Bill Carver)

Posted by Dave on November 10, 2017 at 06:00 AM
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THE NEWS FROM ABROAD

Pakistani boy, 14, can turn head 180-degrees like an owl

This has been The News From Abroad.

(Thanks to Jan in Grimsby)

Posted by Dave on November 10, 2017 at 05:57 AM
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GOLF REPORT

Mongoose, cobra fight it out during golf tournament

This has been the Golf Report.

(Thanks to kenzen in Oregon)

Posted by Dave on November 10, 2017 at 05:55 AM
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CSI: FLATHEAD COUNTY

11:08 a.m. A local bakery owner reported that one of his employees has been stealing dough.

(Thanks to Roberto)

Posted by Dave on November 10, 2017 at 05:52 AM
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IF THAT DOESN'T COUNTER TERRORISM, WE DON'T KNOW WHAT WILL

FBI counterterrorism agent gets drunk, has his gun stolen by exotic dancer

(Thanks to Rick Day, Le Petomane, Jeff Meyerson, Chris Elzi and Patty Villanova)

Posted by Dave on November 10, 2017 at 05:43 AM
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SEND THIS PROGRAMME TO WASHINGTON

The Committee for the Promotion of Virtue and the Prevention of Vice concluded a training programme on Wednesday called the "development of scientific skills in the fight against witchcraft."

(Thanks to Ralph)

Posted by Dave on November 10, 2017 at 05:40 AM
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FLORIDA LICENSES ARE ON THE WAY

A suspected drunk driver whose middle name is “Tequila” crashed into three cars across from the Children’s Museum of Indianapolis before fleeing on foot Sunday morning, according to police.

(Thanks to Ralph)

DRIVER BACKS VEHICLE INTO DMV DURING DRIVING TEST

(Thanks to Not My Usual Alias)

Posted by Dave on November 10, 2017 at 05:38 AM
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November 09, 2017

OTHER THAN THAT IT WAS A LOVELY WEDDING

Egypt bridegroom shot in genitals during celebrations

(Thanks to B'game)

Posted by Dave on November 9, 2017 at 03:23 PM
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NAME THAT CONTINENT

Meter reader scared off by brown snake

(Thanks to Fabian Marson)

Posted by Dave on November 9, 2017 at 03:22 PM
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ALWAYS KEEP SOME HANDY

At first, they ignored his demands - until he got closer to the register and reached for the money. Jessica Moss grabbed a bottle of Bailey’s and clocked him on the side of the head.

(Thanks to Le Petomane)

Posted by Dave on November 9, 2017 at 03:19 PM
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HE HAD HIS REASONS

Melbourne Man Throws Traffic Cones At Passing Motorists

(Thanks to John Mayson)

Posted by Dave on November 9, 2017 at 03:18 PM
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THE FUTURE LOOKS BRIGHT

Self-driving bus crashes two hours after launch in Las Vegas

It's ready for Florida!

(Thanks to Jay Brandes, Le Petomane, Another Ralph and mezrap)

 

Posted by Dave on November 9, 2017 at 03:13 PM
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AAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAA

DUI suspect drove car into hotel, patrol car

Vero Beach Woman Stole From Walmart To Get Something Nice For Husband

No ‘Karate Kid': Edgewater police critique public urination suspect's kicking form

(Thanks to Jeff Meyerson)

Posted by Dave on November 9, 2017 at 09:32 AM
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FLORIDAAAAAAAAAAAAAA

A Deltona husband and wife’s story that they were shot during a home invasion was suspicious from the beginning and it fell apart when detectives learned the man and woman actually shot themselves with hopes of fraudulently collecting insurance money, Sheriff Mike Chitwood said.

(Thanks to Howard from Broward)

Posted by Dave on November 9, 2017 at 09:29 AM
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USUALLY THIS GETS YOU A WARNING

Florida woman tried to set off explosive during traffic stop

(Thanks to John Criswell)

Posted by Dave on November 9, 2017 at 06:08 AM
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MONGO DOWN UNDER

Australian jockey Caboche suspended for punching horse

(Thanks to Craig Roberts)

Posted by Dave on November 9, 2017 at 06:04 AM
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GO HOME, CANADA, YOU'RE DRUNK

Canadian Mounties arriving at the scene of a car crash in Alberta on a frigid Monday morning discovered five naked people inside, and ended up arresting them on suspicion of kidnapping a mother, her father and her newborn baby.

(Thanks to Bill Carver and Patty Villanova)

Posted by Dave on November 9, 2017 at 06:03 AM
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INCREDIBLY, THIS DID NOT HAPPEN IN FLORIDA

Naked man uses leaf blower in graveyard with his pants round his ankles while on community service

(Thanks to Kevin Smith)

Posted by Dave on November 9, 2017 at 05:59 AM
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November 08, 2017

STRICT REGIMEN

Wrestling legend Ric Flair had 15 drinks a day, slept with 10,000 women, documentary reveals

(Thanks to manual tomato, who says "I bet He didn't have over 14 a day.")

Posted by Dave on November 8, 2017 at 04:19 PM
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'I'M HOME, MAN. WHAT ARE YOU DOING HERE?'

Vero Beach Man Shows Up Drunk At Funeral Home

(Thanks to John Mayson)

Posted by Dave on November 8, 2017 at 04:16 PM
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THE NEWS FROM ASIA

Customers rush to hairy crab vending machine

This has been The News From Asia.

(Thanks to Al Barkafski)

Posted by Dave on November 8, 2017 at 04:14 PM
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OUCH

NASA Wants To Probe Deeper Into Uranus Than Ever Before

(Thanks to Matt Filar)

Posted by Dave on November 8, 2017 at 04:12 PM
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HE PUT IT THERE ON PURPOSE

For 128 years, bug stuck in Van Gogh’s painting went unnoticed

(Thanks to Al Barkafski)

Posted by Dave on November 8, 2017 at 04:03 PM
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THE MOST MIAMI THING IN THE WORLD RIGHT NOW....

...is the UM Turnover Chain.

(Story by Mrs. Blog)

Posted by Dave on November 8, 2017 at 03:55 PM
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WE'RE JUST GOING TO MAKE A SANDWICH, THANKS

Pond of human excrement found at Indian takeaway in Co Donegal

(Thanks to Le Petomane)

 

Posted by Dave on November 8, 2017 at 06:26 AM
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THEREBY QUALIFYING THEM FOR FLORIDA DRIVERS' LICENSES

Sheep are able to recognise celebrity faces, study shows

(Thanks to DaninDallas and Alkali Bill)

Posted by Dave on November 8, 2017 at 06:16 AM
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OR ARE YOU JUST GLAD TO SEE US

German police pull python out of man's pants after noticing "considerable bulge"

(Thanks to Fabian Marson and Rick Day)

Posted by Dave on November 8, 2017 at 06:13 AM
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WE SAW THEM OPEN FOR QUEEN

Gas-addicted monkey caught drinking fuel from parked motorcycles

(Thanks to John Mayson and Ralph)

Posted by Dave on November 8, 2017 at 06:11 AM
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RUM PA PUM PUM

Listening to too much Christmas music is BAD for your mental health

(Thanks to Patty Villanova)

Posted by Dave on November 8, 2017 at 06:01 AM
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CSI: KANSAS CITY

KC detective ends interview after suspect answers question with ‘loud fart’

(Thanks to Ralph and [appropriately] Le Petomane)

Posted by Dave on November 8, 2017 at 05:59 AM
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THESE KIDS TODAY

Nine-Year-Old Books £1,000 Return Trip To Paris While Dad Sleeps

(Thanks to Jane Linderman)

Posted by Dave on November 8, 2017 at 05:57 AM
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November 07, 2017

WHAT HAPPENS ON THE VICTORIA LINE, STAYS ON THE VICTORIA LINE

Passengers don't know where to look as naked man struts and pole dances around Tube carriage

(Thanks to Roberto)

Posted by Dave on November 7, 2017 at 12:39 PM
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WE NOMINATE 'CANADA'

NASA seeks nickname for tiny, icy world on solar system edge

(Thanks to Le Petomane)

Posted by Dave on November 7, 2017 at 12:37 PM
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THIS HAPPENS FAR TOO OFTEN

Man defends himself with toy in violent thermostat spat

(Thanks to Le Petomane)

Posted by Dave on November 7, 2017 at 12:36 PM
Permalink | Comments (9)

WHAT COULD POSSIBLY GO WRONG?

Tiny human brain organoids implanted into rodents, triggering ethical concerns

(Thanks to Art Silverman)

Posted by Dave on November 7, 2017 at 12:22 PM
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IN THAT CASE, MA'AM, YOU ARE FREE TO GO

Woman tells officer she smokes meth to ‘stay awake’

(Thanks to Jeff Meyerson)

Posted by Dave on November 7, 2017 at 12:19 PM
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A STEAL

Dry cleaner bag ‘dress’ costs $700

(Thanks to Jan in Grimsby)

Posted by Dave on November 7, 2017 at 12:17 PM
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DO NOT MESS WITH THEM

Angry wife beats up husband on flight after discovering he's cheating, forces plane to make emergency landing

(Thanks to Jeff Meyerson and Bill Hudgins)

Posted by Dave on November 7, 2017 at 12:15 PM
Permalink | Comments (5)

FUN COUPLE

Plastic surgery-loving ‘Catwoman,' boyfriend charged again with assaulting each other

(Thanks to Le Petomane)

Posted by Dave on November 7, 2017 at 06:20 AM
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THEY'RE SHOWING THEIR SOLIDARITY, ALL RIGHT

The contestants donned costumes made of 50 kilos of prime beef steaks to show their solidarity with victims in the Harvey Weinstein scandal in Hollywood

(Thanks to Roberto)

Posted by Dave on November 7, 2017 at 06:15 AM
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SPEAKING OF FLORIDA DRIVER'S LICENSES

People who get arrested for DUI usually aren’t driving around in the parking lot of the Palm Bay Police Department.

(Thanks to John Mayson)

Posted by Dave on November 7, 2017 at 06:12 AM
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THE OCTOPUS WAS RELEASED AFTER PRODUCING A VALID FLORIDA DRIVER'S LICENSE

Florida Panthers fan hit with octopus during national anthem

(Thanks to Ralph)

Posted by Dave on November 7, 2017 at 06:10 AM
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FOUR GALS AND A GUY

Five people found naked after Nisku crash arrested

(Thanks to The Perts)

Posted by Dave on November 7, 2017 at 06:09 AM
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YOU BETTER WATCH OUT

New Jersey Santa Claus busted with crack pipe, police say

(Thanks to Jeff Meyerson, The Perts and Ralph)

Posted by Dave on November 7, 2017 at 06:07 AM
Permalink | Comments (7)

November 06, 2017

GIVES NEW MEANING TO THE TERM 'CLOSER'

Video Of Car Salesman Demonstrating Van's Child-Safe Sliding Door With His Own Neck Ends How You'd Expect

(Thanks to John Lobert)

Posted by Dave on November 6, 2017 at 03:33 PM
Permalink | Comments (10)

 
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