June 18, 2016

THAT'LL TEACH 'EM

Someone Screamed 'Free Bird' At A Bob Dylan Show and He Actually Performed It

(Thanks to Jeff Meyerson)

Posted by Dave on June 18, 2016 at 05:44 PM
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THAT'S WHAT THEY'RE FOR, DUDE

Locals Patch Street Potholes with Pot

(Thanks to Loudmouth)

Posted by Dave on June 18, 2016 at 05:41 PM
Permalink | Comments (7)

UPSET ABOUT A POOR EXECUTION OF THE SUPERMAN VS. BATMAN MOTIF

Woman 'drop kicks' Kroger cake

(Thanks to Judy B.)

Posted by Dave on June 18, 2016 at 11:20 AM
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FINALLY THE WORLD IS STARTING TO PAY ATTENTION

Squirrels and their partners in crime cause about 10-20 percent of all power outages, according to the Washington Post.

(Thanks to Dave M)

Posted by Dave on June 18, 2016 at 11:18 AM
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GUY DADS IN ACTION

Get a box of Cheerios. 2. Sneak up beside your sleeping baby. 3. One at time, stack as many Cheerios as you can on their head.

(Thanks to Rick Day)

Posted by Dave on June 18, 2016 at 11:16 AM
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EXCELLENT

Fake lifeguard station protests bad pothole in Winnipeg

(Thanks to The Perts)

Posted by Dave on June 18, 2016 at 11:10 AM
Permalink | Comments (5)

ATTENTION, LOSERS:

The makers of Apollo Peak have created a non-alcoholic wine just for cats

(Thanks to Jon Harris)

Posted by Dave on June 18, 2016 at 11:06 AM
Permalink | Comments (12)

DOO-DAH, DOO-DAH

Giant Ice Cream Cone Back Home

(Thanks to Al Barkafski)

Posted by Dave on June 18, 2016 at 10:59 AM
Permalink | Comments (2)

FATHER'S DAY IS TOMORROW, PEOPLE

Utah couple auctions off giant, fire-spitting scorpion car

(Thanks to Ralph)

Posted by Dave on June 18, 2016 at 10:55 AM
Permalink | Comments (4)

YOU THINK?

A Titanic error of judgement? Inflatable slide designed to look like the doomed vessel sinking is condemned as being in bad taste

(Thanks to Madeleine)

Posted by Dave on June 18, 2016 at 10:52 AM
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THERE IS NOTHING LOWER THAN A FROG VIOLATOR

Frog violation leads to drug arrest

(Thanks to Steve Thompson)

Posted by Dave on June 18, 2016 at 10:45 AM
Permalink | Comments (7)

WE CAN ALL BREATHE EASIER

X-ray machine foils attempt to sneak iguana into Boulder courthouse

Boulder-iguana

(Thanks to Ralph, Howard from Broward, Patty Villanova and Judy B.)

Related: Resident takes dead snake into county, city offices

(Thanks to Le Petomane)

Posted by Dave on June 18, 2016 at 10:39 AM
Permalink | Comments (4)

June 17, 2016

WE THOUGHT THIS DAY WOULD NEVER COME

Now you can wrap your gifts with Kim Kardashian's buttocks

Posted by Dave on June 17, 2016 at 06:10 PM
Permalink | Comments (12)

A TANKER OF MUSTARD IS ON THE WAY

Deli Meat, Bread Spill Onto New Jersey Highway After Truck Crash

(Thanks to oneblankspace, Glen Page and Not My Usual Alias)

Posted by Dave on June 17, 2016 at 03:49 PM
Permalink | Comments (5)

YIKES

Giant crab horde gathers in Australia

(Thanks to Alkali Bill, who saw them open for Iron Butterfly)

Posted by Dave on June 17, 2016 at 03:47 PM
Permalink | Comments (7)

DON'T YOU HATE IT WHEN THAT HAPPENS?

Awkward moment elephant attempts to have sex with partner - but surprise bowel movement ruins the romance

(Thanks to Unholy Slacker)

Posted by Dave on June 17, 2016 at 03:43 PM
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CSI: BROOKLYN

Hoverboard Argument Sparks Peach-Tossing, Fight in Brooklyn Grocery Store

(Thanks to Le Petomane)

Posted by Dave on June 17, 2016 at 03:42 PM
Permalink | Comments (3)

'BINGE CHEATING'

'Commitment rings' aim to stop 'Netflix infidelity' among binge-watching couples

(Thanks to Allen at Division)

Posted by Dave on June 17, 2016 at 03:37 PM
Permalink | Comments (2)

OK, WE DON'T WANT TO GET POLITICAL, BUT...

...this is the best campaign ad EVER. 

Posted by Dave on June 17, 2016 at 12:56 PM
Permalink | Comments (17)

'TANTRUM CLUB'

New fitness trend sweeping the UK sees women screaming and popping balloons bearing their angry words

(Thanks to Le Petomane)

Posted by Dave on June 17, 2016 at 11:39 AM
Permalink | Comments (9)

IT APPEARS TO BE EATING THE DOORKNOB

Thai man almost loses home to monster monitor lizard

Homeowner Moniker We Do Not Find Amusing: Attanai Thaiyuanwong

(Thanks to Le Petomane)

Posted by Dave on June 17, 2016 at 11:37 AM
Permalink | Comments (12)

WE'RE GOOD WITH NETFLIX, THANKS

Are you looking for a new pastime? How about indoor axe throwing?

(Thanks to The Perts)

Posted by Dave on June 17, 2016 at 11:34 AM
Permalink | Comments (11)

GIVE IT A TRY!

New frog sex position discovered

(Thanks to Ralph)

Posted by Dave on June 17, 2016 at 11:26 AM
Permalink | Comments (8)

WHO SAYS ROMANCE IS DEAD?

A man has been caught on camera having sex with the road in the middle of the day.

As if there would be no problem if it were nighttime.

(Thanks to John Mayson)

Posted by Dave on June 17, 2016 at 11:24 AM
Permalink | Comments (12)

June 16, 2016

SOMEBODY IS SPENDING THE REST OF HIS NATURAL LIFE SLEEPING ON THE COUCH

Terrified woman nearly loses her locks when her blow dryer bursts into FLAMES after her husband filled it with baby powder as a prank

(Thanks to Patty Villanova)

Posted by Dave on June 16, 2016 at 06:14 PM
Permalink | Comments (13)

SOON WE WILL HAVE NO CONSTITUTIONAL RIGHTS LEFT

Police question man with paper bag on head

(Thanks to Chuck Cody)

Posted by Dave on June 16, 2016 at 06:11 PM
Permalink | Comments (8)

NOT YOUR BEST PUBLICITY

Vancouver fire prevention service van catches fire

(Thanks to Cassie Silvola)

Posted by Dave on June 16, 2016 at 06:08 PM
Permalink | Comments (5)

WE SAW G.U.S. OPEN FOR E.L.O.

Texas: Giant unstable sinkholes are growing, could be on verge of catastrophic collapse

(Thanks to Le Petomane, who says "I have no idea how the squirrels pulled this off.")

Posted by Dave on June 16, 2016 at 06:05 PM
Permalink | Comments (3)

IT'S ONLY A MATTER OF TIME BEFORE THEY START USING STEROIDS

But administrators in a small Oak Brook school district allege parents in two families took their quest for victory way too far when they intentionally obtained test questions leading up to this year's National Geographic Bee.

(Thanks to Not My Usual Alias)

Posted by Dave on June 16, 2016 at 06:03 PM
Permalink | Comments (4)

AND PEOPLE SAY ALCOHOL IS BAD

Drunk Restaurant Customer Leaves $1,000 Tip

(Thanks to klezmerphan)

Posted by Dave on June 16, 2016 at 05:59 PM
Permalink | Comments (3)

WE'VE WAITED THAT LONG TO SPEAK TO A CUSTOMER-SERVICE REPRESENTATIVE

Alien contact could be 1,500 years away, say Cornell astronomers

(Thanks to manual tomato)

Posted by Dave on June 16, 2016 at 01:51 PM
Permalink | Comments (9)

'FORKING' HEH HEH HEH

A NEW trend has seen women forking out hundreds of pounds for vaginal massages.

(Thanks to Stan Ruth)

Posted by Dave on June 16, 2016 at 01:49 PM
Permalink | Comments (9)

KUALA LUMPUR TRAFFIC REPORT

Runaway ostrich recaptured after disrupting traffic on Kuala Lumpur's Federal Highway

(Thanks to Le Petomane, who says "We know who turned it loose.")

We saw Runaway Ostrich open for the Cowsills.

Posted by Dave on June 16, 2016 at 01:38 PM
Permalink | Comments (2)

SQUIRREL VS. DOG

No contest.

(Thanks to Michael Moyer)

Posted by Dave on June 16, 2016 at 10:57 AM
Permalink | Comments (6)

MEANWHILE IN SPORTS

Eagles quarterback Wentz saved from gas station bathroom

(Thanks to Le Petomane)

"About 80 percent of you here have at some point scratched your balls."

(Thanks to A. Wheeler)

Posted by Dave on June 16, 2016 at 10:54 AM
Permalink | Comments (7)

FLORIDA MOTORIST OF THE WEEK SO FAR

A man who woke up naked in a stranger’s house late Monday morning is unlikely to face criminal charges, according to the officer who found him there. The man, whose name has not been released, was discovered in the house on Sloat Court hours after his car was towed from the nearby Choctawhatchee Bay.

(Thanks to Jeff Meyerson)

Posted by Dave on June 16, 2016 at 10:48 AM
Permalink | Comments (7)

'NEITHER PARTY WOULD CHANGE THEIR VIEWS'

Ontario police, firefighters intervene after fight breaks out over Earth's shape

(Thanks to Jan in Grimsby)

Posted by Dave on June 16, 2016 at 10:45 AM
Permalink | Comments (12)

EW

Customs officers at the Hamad International Airport, in the Qatari capital, have arrested a Yemeni man attempting to smuggle more than 12 kilograms (27 lbs) of sliced bacon hidden in his anal cavity.

(Thanks to Greg Snow, who says "I'll just have the oatmeal, thanks.")

Posted by Dave on June 16, 2016 at 10:43 AM
Permalink | Comments (17)

June 15, 2016

IT'S STILL THERE, FOR THE MOST PART

Here's what the Moon looks like in Miami tonight.

Moon June 15 2016

Posted by Dave on June 15, 2016 at 08:38 PM
Permalink | Comments (15)

FATHER'S DAY IS ALMOST HERE

This Gigantic, Street-Legal Shopping Cart Goes 50 MPH

(Thanks to Ralph)

Posted by Dave on June 15, 2016 at 04:07 PM
Permalink | Comments (7)

YOU KNOW WHO'S GIVING THE ORDERS

Power is flowing again to more than 7,000 electric customers in South Carolina after a snake got into a substation and cut power - the third time in recent weeks that a serpent has shorted electric power in the state.

(Thanks to Ralph)

Posted by Dave on June 15, 2016 at 04:05 PM
Permalink | Comments (4)

THE BEST PART OF WAKING UP

Horrified teen finds dead BAT in her Rice Krispies

(Thanks to Le Petomane)

Posted by Dave on June 15, 2016 at 04:02 PM
Permalink | Comments (12)

MAYBE THEY CAN WORK OUT SOME KIND OF ARRANGEMENT

Meet the New York professor who has 22 children and 18 baby mamas after donating his sperm for free in public restrooms

(Thanks to Patty Villanova)

China’s Call to Young Men: Your Nation Needs Your Sperm

(Thanks to Jeff Schneider)

Posted by Dave on June 15, 2016 at 04:00 PM
Permalink | Comments (5)

PARENTAL ROLE MODELS OF THE WEEK SO FAR

Women With Their Kids Assault McDonald's Employee For Being Too Slow: Cops

Don't miss the classy mugshots.

(Thanks to Jeff Meyerson)

Posted by Dave on June 15, 2016 at 03:51 PM
Permalink | Comments (6)

CSI: KEY WEST

According to a Key West police incident report, Sandra Stoner, 55, and her boyfriend, Richard McBride, 53, both of Naples, were drinking at the bar with friends when they got into an argument with another couple about a fart.

(Thanks to Steve Thompson, Terry Reynoldson, funny man, Michael Huber, Le Petomane, Allen at Division and Patty Villanova)

Posted by Dave on June 15, 2016 at 03:36 PM
Permalink | Comments (12)

OTHER THAN THAT, IT WAS A LOVELY CEREMONY

Cyprus priest punches best man at wedding

(Thanks to Jeff Schneider, Le Petomane, Andrew Mendez and Jon Harris)

Posted by Dave on June 15, 2016 at 03:29 PM
Permalink | Comments (2)

WE DON'T KNOW WHAT THIS IS

...and we don't want to know.

(Thanks to Another Ralph)

Posted by Dave on June 15, 2016 at 03:27 PM
Permalink | Comments (7)

REPORT FROM THE FIELD

Hi Dave:  I'm at a tire place having a new set of front tires put on.  As I'm at the counter having the work lined up, I can overhear two Korean War vets talking in the waiting room.  They can't hear each other very well, so they're talking rather loUdly.  And they're comparing notes on their health issues and recent medical procedures...  'Kind of embarrassing, as you hear things like this: "So did they go through your groin for that?"

I'm hoping the wait isn't too long.

-- Jim Kenaston

Posted by Dave on June 15, 2016 at 03:21 PM
Permalink | Comments (5)

GUYS (WE ASSUME) IN ACTION

All hail ‘The Penis Vandal’ who bravely refuses to stop graffiting wangs everywhere

(Thanks to funny man)

Posted by Dave on June 15, 2016 at 03:19 PM
Permalink | Comments (3)

*WE'RE* NOT SAYING THIS

Mathematics say we should pee while showering

(Thanks to John Mayson)

Posted by Dave on June 15, 2016 at 03:14 PM
Permalink | Comments (8)

 
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