April 23, 2016

THERE IS NOTHING LEFT TO BELIEVE IN

Changes coming to Cracker Jack popcorn after 125 years

(Thanks to The Perts)

Posted by Dave on April 23, 2016 at 08:06 AM
Permalink | Comments (15)

IT'S EITHER HIM OR JESUS. OR AMY WINEHOUSE.

Is Liverpool midfielder Joe Allen hidden in this chicken nugget?

(Thanks to Jay Brandes)

Posted by Dave on April 23, 2016 at 08:03 AM
Permalink | Comments (19)

April 22, 2016

MEANWHILE IN CANADA'S ONGOING DESCENT INTO CHAOS

Ontario police break up 'domestic dispute' between man and pet parrot

(Thanks to The Perts and Roberto)

Posted by Dave on April 22, 2016 at 04:48 PM
Permalink | Comments (14)

SIT TALL, NORTH TYNESIDE

England's diarrhoea capital revealed – but which regions are in the running?

(Thanks to Patty Villanova)

Posted by Dave on April 22, 2016 at 04:45 PM
Permalink | Comments (11)

THE HUSBANDS ARE ALSO LESS STRESSED AFTER THEY DIE

Wives become less stressed after their husbands die, study finds

(Thanks to coscolo, who says "Especially if said husband had tied them to the top of a vehicle.")

 

Posted by Dave on April 22, 2016 at 04:42 PM
Permalink | Comments (10)

OOPS

Somebody screwed up at the United States Army Garrison (USAG) in Hohenfels, Germany the other day because I am relatively sure that an airdropped Humvee is not supposed to move towards the ground quite that quickly.

Posted by Dave on April 22, 2016 at 03:24 PM
Permalink | Comments (20)

AAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAA

Armed man in strapless dress wanted in Hollywood robbery

(Thanks to Jeff Meyerson)

Autoplay.

Posted by Dave on April 22, 2016 at 11:00 AM
Permalink | Comments (13)

WE LIVE IN WONDROUS TIMES

Is this the face of Amy Winehouse in a KFC chicken wrap?

(Thanks to Jeff Meyerson)

Posted by Dave on April 22, 2016 at 10:59 AM
Permalink | Comments (9)

DON'T GO THERE

Just don't.

(Thanks to Unholy Slacker)

Posted by Dave on April 22, 2016 at 10:28 AM
Permalink | Comments (8)

SOON TO BE A MAJOR MOTION PICTURE

Police were unconvinced by the friend's explanation that he was rushing to the aid of a stricken friend being held hostage by a single beaver

(Thanks to Jay Brandes)

Posted by Dave on April 22, 2016 at 06:27 AM
Permalink | Comments (15)

WE HAVE AN ALIBI

Omaha police have announced the death of a squirrel that hung out around police headquarters and had his own Twitter following.

(Thanks to Rick Day and Le Petomane)

Posted by Dave on April 22, 2016 at 06:25 AM
Permalink | Comments (5)

NOT DISTURBING AT ALL

Gory realistic cakes whipped by nurse are inspired by her day job and designed to shock

(Thanks to Le Petomane)

Posted by Dave on April 22, 2016 at 06:23 AM
Permalink | Comments (7)

THERE IS NOTHING LEFT TO BELIEVE IN

Sorry, Internet: A Man Didn’t Buy A Yak While High On Sleeping Pills

(Thanks to Ralph)

Posted by Dave on April 22, 2016 at 06:20 AM
Permalink | Comments (9)

SPORTSMAN OF THE WEEK SO FAR

Angler claims to catch fish with his PENIS after swimming naked in river

(Thanks to DaninDallas and Kevin Smith)

Posted by Dave on April 22, 2016 at 06:17 AM
Permalink | Comments (13)

SOMEHOW WE MISSED THIS

Man drives SUV with wife strapped to roof

Guess the state.

(Thanks to Todd Lawson)

Autoplay.

Posted by Dave on April 22, 2016 at 06:12 AM
Permalink | Comments (13)

IT'S OK; THEY ALL HAVE VALID DRIVERS' LICENSES

Snakes and lizards on the loose after Florida smoke shop crash

(Thanks to Jon Harris)

Posted by Dave on April 22, 2016 at 06:07 AM
Permalink | Comments (4)

FLORIDA: STATE OF ROMANCE

St. Pete resident David Smith is accused of stalking his ex, humping stop sign in front of her home

(Thanks to Steve Thompson, who says "They've got a strong case, as the sign clearly said stop.")

Posted by Dave on April 22, 2016 at 06:05 AM
Permalink | Comments (13)

April 21, 2016

BECAUSE IT'S ALWAYS A HASSLE, PARKING THAT ELEVENTH CAR

This $32.5 Million Miami Penthouse Has an 11-Car Garage on the 57th Floor

(Thanks to Steve K.)

Posted by Dave on April 21, 2016 at 06:06 PM
Permalink | Comments (5)

WAIT... THERE'S SOMETHING *ILLEGAL* IN IDAHO?

OISE, Idaho (KBOI) — A local country music station, WOW 104.3, has canceled its wiener dog race... because, quite simply, that part of the event is illegal in the state of Idaho.

(Thanks to Craig Roberts)

Posted by Dave on April 21, 2016 at 05:59 PM
Permalink | Comments (4)

FLORIDA: BE ADVISED THAT TEXAS IS GAINING

'Can you turn the temperature down? What is the prime number? I'm right handed': Man high on drugs rambles naked on lawn after being arrested for eating stranger's mail

(Thanks to Patty Villanova)

Posted by Dave on April 21, 2016 at 05:57 PM
Permalink | Comments (7)

BUT HE IDENTIFIES AS 17

Windsor high school basketball star found to be 30 years old

(Thanks to Sean in Akron)

Posted by Dave on April 21, 2016 at 02:05 PM
Permalink | Comments (9)

INCENTIVE OF THE WEEK SO FAR

The owner of a Mankato auto repair shop is under arrest after authorities say he offered employees a bonus in the form of Meth.

(Thanks to Greg)

Posted by Dave on April 21, 2016 at 01:56 PM
Permalink | Comments (7)

ALWAYS A SHREWD MOVE

Man accused of stopping traffic to moon police, 911 employees

He was also "slapping his buttocks."

(Thanks to Jeff Meyerson and Jon Harris)

Posted by Dave on April 21, 2016 at 01:44 PM
Permalink | Comments (7)

PROBABLY THERE'S A PERFECTLY INNOCENT EXPLANATION

A Levy County man has been arrested and charged with meth possession after deputies found his drugs stashed in an urn filled with ashes.

(Thanks to Diane)

Posted by Dave on April 21, 2016 at 11:46 AM
Permalink | Comments (8)

THERE IS NO GOOD REASON FOR THOSE THINGS TO BE IN CIVILIAN HANDS

Texas man chucks steak from car in high-speed police chase

No word on whether it was, in fact, chuck steak.

(Thanks to Jon Harris)

Posted by Dave on April 21, 2016 at 11:37 AM
Permalink | Comments (10)

JESUS SIGHTINGS UPDATE

Now: An ultrasound.

(Thanks to Le Petomane, Rick Day and Jon Harris)

Autoplay.

Posted by Dave on April 21, 2016 at 11:33 AM
Permalink | Comments (8)

WHAT A GROUPER WAS DOING WITH A WRENCH WE'LL NEVER KNOW

St. Petersburg man catches 400-pound fish with wrench

(Thanks to Diane)

Autoplay.

Posted by Dave on April 21, 2016 at 06:33 AM
Permalink | Comments (16)

OOPS, II

Ostrich is freed from a circus by animal rights activists… and is immediately killed when it runs in front of a car

(Thanks to Geoff)

Posted by Dave on April 21, 2016 at 06:29 AM
Permalink | Comments (13)

TOTALLY JUSTIFIED

Grandmother attacked husband with meat tenderiser after she caught him watching porn

(Thanks to Jeff Meyerson)

Posted by Dave on April 21, 2016 at 06:27 AM
Permalink | Comments (6)

CSI: SHELBY COUNTY

Sheriff's Office looks to return missing donkey

(Thanks to Vol)

Posted by Dave on April 21, 2016 at 06:21 AM
Permalink | Comments (4)

TENNESSEE EDUCATION REPORT

Snakes fall from elementary school ceiling

This has been the Tennessee Education Report.

(Thanks to Vol)

Posted by Dave on April 21, 2016 at 06:19 AM
Permalink | Comments (12)

OOPS

Yesterday afternoon, the telecoms provider somehow managed to send all of its customers' outgoing emails to a single, random guy called Steve Webb.

(Thanks to funny man)

Posted by Dave on April 21, 2016 at 06:16 AM
Permalink | Comments (8)

BECAUSE WE DON'T HAVE ENOUGH PROBLEMS ALREADY

Florida’s Dragon Problem

(Thanks to Jenny Kellner)

Posted by Dave on April 21, 2016 at 06:10 AM
Permalink | Comments (8)

IT CAN ABSORB UP TO 100

Bizarre advert shows wife give her husband 'life-saving' fart pad to neutralise his flatulence

(Thanks to Le Petomane)

Posted by Dave on April 21, 2016 at 06:08 AM
Permalink | Comments (5)

'THERE'S THE RISK THAT PEOPLE WILL THINK OF IT AS A JOKE'

The Guggenheim Is Installing a Gold Toilet

(Thanks to Peter Metrinko)

Posted by Dave on April 21, 2016 at 06:04 AM
Permalink | Comments (7)

A DAY OF MOURNING

Truck spills 'so much beer' in McCordsville

(Thanks to West Coast Rod)

Posted by Dave on April 21, 2016 at 05:59 AM
Permalink | Comments (3)

WE'RE GONNA NEED BIGGER NAPKINS

Nude restaurant to open in London for the summer

(Thanks to Jeff Meyerson, Jan in Grimsby, Madeleine, DaninDallas, Janice Gelb and Le Petomane)

Posted by Dave on April 21, 2016 at 05:57 AM
Permalink | Comments (8)

April 20, 2016

THE SCIENCE IS SETTLED

Stonehenge Was Built By Satan’s Giants, Creationist Claims

(Thanks to Chuck Cody)

Posted by Dave on April 20, 2016 at 10:37 AM
Permalink | Comments (21)

IT'LL BE GREAT UNTIL THEY GET HACKED

A pair of super-rich American technology gurus are planning to undergo surgery to install experimental implants directly into their brains.

(Thanks to Allen at Division, who says "Do people not watch the movies?")

Posted by Dave on April 20, 2016 at 10:33 AM
Permalink | Comments (15)

DO NOT MESS WITH THEM

Police say a Decatur woman, furious at her two-timing boyfriend and his other girlfriend, covered both of their cars completely in a mixture of ketchup and mayonnaise.

(Thanks to Chris Johnson)

Posted by Dave on April 20, 2016 at 10:30 AM
Permalink | Comments (20)

'THE LIONESS'

Smart vibrator promises better orgasms and could even tell you how long to spend on foreplay

(Thanks to coscolo)

Posted by Dave on April 20, 2016 at 06:33 AM
Permalink | Comments (12)

'WILD THING' AT 50

It remains the only chart-topper featuring an ocarina solo.

(Thanks to Steve K.)

Posted by Dave on April 20, 2016 at 06:30 AM
Permalink | Comments (18)

WE HARDLY KNEW YE

R.I.P. John Doe.

(Thanks to F. Mitchell)

Posted by Dave on April 20, 2016 at 06:27 AM
Permalink | Comments (15)

IN THAT CASE, MA'AM, YOU ARE FREE TO GO

Motorist Crashes Into Walmart, Blames God

(Thanks to Dave D)

Posted by Dave on April 20, 2016 at 06:23 AM
Permalink | Comments (13)

TIME TO PANIC

There's a global banana crisis

(Thanks to Jon Harris and MOTW, who believes they played at Woodstock)

Posted by Dave on April 20, 2016 at 06:21 AM
Permalink | Comments (9)

COURT TRANSCRIPT OF THE WEEK SO FAR

Oops.

Advisory: Bad words.

(Thanks to WYSIWYG)

Posted by Dave on April 20, 2016 at 06:19 AM
Permalink | Comments (7)

CANADA: A NATION IN CHAOS

Police nab chicken for crossing Kingston Road

(Thanks to The Perts and Jay Brandes)

Posted by Dave on April 20, 2016 at 06:14 AM
Permalink | Comments (8)

AAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAA

A Florida woman allegedly punched a convenience store employee in the eye after the worker demanded the return of a bag of Cheetos Puffs that the suspect had stashed “under her sundress in her groin area,” according to cops.

(Thanks to Jeff Meyerson, Dave D and Ralph)

Posted by Dave on April 20, 2016 at 06:08 AM
Permalink | Comments (9)

BRILLIANT

French statue is fitted with removable organ which is brought out for special occasions only after vandals kept snapping off the original

(Thanks to Madeleine, coscolo, Roberto, Jay Brandes, PirateBoy, Patty Villanova, Linda Schutjer, Le Petomane and Ralph)

Posted by Dave on April 20, 2016 at 06:03 AM
Permalink | Comments (21)

April 19, 2016

'DELEGATES CAN TAKE THEIR HOME-STATE DONKEYS HOME'

Donkeys to descend on Philadelphia ahead of convention

(Thanks to Le Petomane)

Posted by Dave on April 19, 2016 at 01:52 PM
Permalink | Comments (14)

 
Terms of Service | Privacy Policy | Copyright | About The Miami Herald | Advertise