February 22, 2015

THE NEWS FROM ABROAD

Cow gets head stuck in bicycle.

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This has been The News From Abroad.

(Thanks to Ron G. and Ralph)

Posted by Dave on February 22, 2015 at 11:00 AM
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GUYS IN ACTION

Man Arrested After Flying Into Rage Over Haircut at Salon

(Thanks to Nicholas Read, who says "No, not Kim Jong Un.")

Posted by Dave on February 22, 2015 at 10:55 AM
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GET THAT NOBEL PRIZE READY

Mattel announced it is developing Hello Barbie – a doll that uses Wi-Fi voice recognition in the cloud to remember her owner's likes, dislikes, and previous conversation topics.

(Thanks to Judy B)

Posted by Dave on February 22, 2015 at 10:50 AM
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TRUTH IN LABELING

Clothing manufacturer forced to apologise for putting 'Give it to your mum - it's her job' on washing label

(Thanks to John Gregg)

Posted by Dave on February 22, 2015 at 10:49 AM
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BUT WITH THE WIND CHILL FACTOR, IT FEELS LIKE MINUS 231 MILLION

We're in Minnesota for a family function. This is what I saw when I started the rental car this morning:

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Posted by Dave on February 22, 2015 at 10:45 AM
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February 21, 2015

WHAT'S THAT SOUND?

Polar Bear Penis Bones Are Snapping All Over The Arctic Thanks To Pollution

(Thanks to Stan Ruth)

Posted by Dave on February 21, 2015 at 11:25 AM in Yes, it's old. But it's important.
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THEY MAKE A HANDSOME COUPLE

Man removes 6 foot icicle from home

Icicle-pic-final

(Thanks to Monique)

Posted by Dave on February 21, 2015 at 10:27 AM
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BANANA PRICES SOAR

Couple to leave all their cash to pet monkey

(Thanks to Jon Harris)

Posted by Dave on February 21, 2015 at 09:24 AM
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IMMERSED IN THE ROLE

A porn star who played the leading role in the raunchy “When Porn Stars Attack” flick was arrested and kicked off a plane after she allegedly charged at a flight crew and a cop, police said.

(Thanks to Jeff Meyerson)

Posted by Dave on February 21, 2015 at 09:22 AM
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ROMANCE: ALIVE AND WELL IN OKLAHOMA

A night out drinking and an argument with his girlfriend nearly cost a Tulsa man his penis.

(Thanks to Andrew Mendez, Jeff Meyerson and Charles Cates)

Posted by Dave on February 21, 2015 at 09:05 AM
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WE'RE GUESSING THESE SCIENTISTS ARE SINGLE

Scientists fed 150-300 ants blue or red sugar water and watched where they defecated over 2 months.

(Thanks to Charles Cates)

Posted by Dave on February 21, 2015 at 09:02 AM
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February 20, 2015

GOOD TO KNOW

Raw Milk: A Great Source for Cow Feces

(Thanks to Judy B)

Posted by Dave on February 20, 2015 at 02:45 PM
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STUDLY

Kim Jong-un unveils new haircut

B-Rx44xIEAASm1O

(Thanks to The Perts)

Posted by Dave on February 20, 2015 at 02:37 PM
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'WE CAN MAKE SOME CHILI'

Truck carrying 42,000 pounds of kidney beans blocks southbound I-75 exit at Richmond

(Thanks to Zaphod)

Posted by Dave on February 20, 2015 at 02:33 PM
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WE'RE HAVING TROUBLE TYPING THIS

It's National Handcuff Day.

(Thanks to Craig Roberts)

Posted by Dave on February 20, 2015 at 02:30 PM
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INCLUDING A POODLE NAMED PARIS

Furious owners claim Delta lost their show dogs at airport

(Thanks to Craig Roberts)

Posted by Dave on February 20, 2015 at 02:28 PM
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WE SAW THEM OPEN FOR THE CLASH

Frozen fecal matter closes interstate exit ramp

Advisory: Autoplay.

(Thanks to Trent Whitney)

Posted by Dave on February 20, 2015 at 08:31 AM
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SOMEBODY IS *SO* GROUNDED

Patterson Man, 43, Accused Of Biting Off Own Mother’s Ear

(Thanks to Charles Cates)

Posted by Dave on February 20, 2015 at 08:28 AM
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IF HE HAD A ROBOT HAT, HE COULD USE THE STOVE TO COOK THE TOMATOES

Watch fisherman stave off the cold - by carrying lit STOVE on his back

TEASER-Fisherman-wears-stove-on-back-to-stay-warm-while-fishing

(Thanks to Ralph)

Posted by Dave on February 20, 2015 at 08:26 AM
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WE THOUGHT THIS DAY WOULD NEVER COME

Japanese Company Introduces Robot Hat-Backpack That Feeds You Tomatoes While You Jog

Screen_shot_20150219_at_4.39.18_pm.png.CROP.promovar-mediumlarge.39.18_pm

(Thanks to Alberto Mengoni, Charles Cates and Ralph, who says, "Hey, you with the tomato machine — catchup!")

Posted by Dave on February 20, 2015 at 08:23 AM
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February 19, 2015

SEND THIS UNDERWEAR TO WASHINGTON

Too-tight underwear reason for absence during vote: MP

(Thanks to The Perts)

Posted by Dave on February 19, 2015 at 04:10 PM
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FASHION UPDATE

It just gets better and better.

Slide_404176_5026542_free

And better.

Slide_404176_5026534_free

(Thanks to Rob Simbeck)

Posted by Dave on February 19, 2015 at 04:08 PM
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FIFTY SHADES OF PINK

Japanese Sex Hotels Cater to All Kinds of Fetishes, Even Hello Kitty S&M

(Thanks to Jon Harris)

Posted by Dave on February 19, 2015 at 03:59 PM
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'APPARENTLY?'

A traveler, apparently upset when asked to remove his belt, decided to make sure he would not set off the metal detector by stripping naked at the security check point.

(Thanks to funny man)

Posted by Dave on February 19, 2015 at 12:54 PM
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AFTER EVERY MEAL

Woman asks for divorce ‘because husband didn’t want sex three times a day’

(Thanks to Allen at Division)

Posted by Dave on February 19, 2015 at 12:50 PM
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WE HOPE BOTH OF HER HAVE GOOD LAWYERS

Utah woman can sue herself over fatal car accident, ruling says

(Thanks to wiredog, who says "We have reached peak lawsuit.")

Posted by Dave on February 19, 2015 at 12:43 PM
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INNO(burp)VATION

Cool Baby

(Thanks to Jon Harris and DaninDallas)

This guy could have used one.

(Thanks to Claire Martin)

Posted by Dave on February 19, 2015 at 12:30 PM
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AT LEAST IT'S NOT MANILOW

Man listening to Nickelback for 168 hours for charity

(Thanks to Ralph)

Posted by Dave on February 19, 2015 at 08:59 AM
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GET THAT NOBEL PRIZE READY, DUDE

Researchers using genetically-modified mice pinpointed circuitry in the hypothalamus used by the active ingredient in cannabis to cause the "munchies."

(Thanks to Loudmouth)

Posted by Dave on February 19, 2015 at 08:54 AM
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RUSSIAN GUYS IN ACTION

"He can be damaged, carefully."

(Thanks to Peter Metrinko)

Posted by Dave on February 19, 2015 at 08:52 AM
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GUYS IN ACTION

Loo-Cy, Motorized Toilet, Flushes Snow from Sidewalks

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(Thanks to Charles Cates, Preston Garrison and Ralph)

Posted by Dave on February 19, 2015 at 08:41 AM
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OOPS

A police officer accidentally shot his sergeant after firing at a pit bull inside a Brooklyn apartment building.

(Thanks to Charles Cates)

Posted by Dave on February 19, 2015 at 08:39 AM
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ONE BY ONE THEY ARE TAKING AWAY OUR FUNDAMENTAL HUMAN RIGHTS

Australian driver fined for playing trumpet behind the wheel

(Thanks to The Perts)

Posted by Dave on February 19, 2015 at 08:36 AM
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WORST KRISPY KREME PROMOTION OF THE WEEK SO FAR

The branch created a series of promotion events that included "KKK Wednesday"

(Thanks to Jim Kenaston)

Posted by Dave on February 19, 2015 at 08:35 AM
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THEY'LL NEED EXTRA CUFFS FOR SQUIDWARD

'50 Shades' visible from 'SpongeBob' at drive-in

(Thanks to The Perts)

Posted by Dave on February 19, 2015 at 08:32 AM
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February 18, 2015

BEST STATE EVER

Vanilla Ice arrested in Florida burglary rap

The former hip hop star boosted furniture, bicycles and a pool heater from a vacant house near the site of his home-renovation show 'The Vanilla Ice Project,' police say.

This story has everything: Florida. Reality TV. Vanilla Ice. A pool heater.

(Thanks to Jeff Meyerson)

Posted by Dave on February 18, 2015 at 07:34 PM
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HE LOOKS SO LIFELIKE

Relatives of a recently deceased Puerto Rican man dressed him in a Green Lantern costume and propped him up at his wake after he spent the last weeks of his life donning the comic book disguise.

We love the "recently."

(Thanks to Jeff Meyerson and Mike Ester)

Posted by Dave on February 18, 2015 at 07:30 PM
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HE'LL PROBABLY SUE HIMSELF. AND WIN.

Oregon authorities have released a video of a man who claimed to have been assaulted by detectives punching himself in the face in his jail cell.

(Thanks to Jon Harris and Bill Hudgins)

Posted by Dave on February 18, 2015 at 04:30 PM
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DO NOT MESS WITH THEM

Angry bride marries guest after original groom falls ill during wedding ceremony

(Thanks to Rob Simbeck)

Posted by Dave on February 18, 2015 at 11:13 AM
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ATTENTION, JOBSEEKERS:

‘Are you happy not to shower for up to a month, live in close proximity to three people and 2,000 smelly penguins for five months?’

(Thanks to Ralph)

Posted by Dave on February 18, 2015 at 11:11 AM
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IT'S BIG IN FARGO

Fargo man accused of driving drunk on flat tire, threatening deputy with 'cartel'

(Thanks to Diane Bursack)

Posted by Dave on February 18, 2015 at 10:03 AM
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THIS TURNS TO BE ILLEGAL *EVEN IN FLORIDA*

A naked Florida woman stopped traffic on a residential street when she masturbated in front of a couple's car and then threw a tantrum on top of the vehicle, police said.

(Thanks to Jeff Meyerson)

Posted by Dave on February 18, 2015 at 09:08 AM
Permalink | Comments (11)

WE ARE NOT MAKING FUN OF THIS PARTY, AND ESPECIALLY NOT ITS ORGANIZER'S NAME

Britain's first small penis party to encourage positive body image for men

(Thanks to Charles Cates and Phil McAvity)

Posted by Dave on February 18, 2015 at 08:59 AM
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INSTEAD, HE WILL RECEIVE A FLORIDA DRIVER'S LICENSE

The driver seen in surveillance video crashing into nine other vehicles in a parking lot won't be cited.

(Thanks to Not My Usual Alias and Jeff Meyerson)

Posted by Dave on February 18, 2015 at 08:54 AM
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AND HE PROVES IT, USING A CUP

Saudi cleric claims Sun rotates around the Earth

(Thanks to Allen at Division)

Posted by Dave on February 18, 2015 at 08:50 AM
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SOON WE WILL HAVE NO CONSTITUTIONAL RIGHTS LEFT

Boston mayor urges people to stop jumping out of windows into snow

(Thanks to Poker)

Posted by Dave on February 18, 2015 at 08:47 AM
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PROFILE IN COURAGE. ALSO, SHRINKAGE.

But the afternoon chill — which felt like 6 degrees thanks to relentless winds — couldn’t stop the Naked Cowboy in Times Square.

(Thanks to Jeff Meyerson)

Posted by Dave on February 18, 2015 at 08:41 AM
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February 17, 2015

AFTER WHICH THEY FILED FOR DIVORCE

Michael and Diane Greening hit Disney theme parks in Tokyo, Anaheim and Orlando on Saturday — a 28-hour, 7,900-mile global jaunt to celebrate their love of each other and the “Happiest Place on Earth.”

(Thanks to Jeff Meyerson)

Posted by Dave on February 17, 2015 at 03:00 PM
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WHY YOU SHOULD NOT EAT OBESE DRAGONFLIES

Obesity in Dragonflies Possibly Linked to Condition in Humans

(Thanks to Craig Magee)

Posted by Dave on February 17, 2015 at 02:58 PM
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WAIT... THEY HAVE SHOWS FOR SEMEN?

Show-Winning Dog Semen Is a Bargain at $2,000

(Thanks to Al Barkafski)

Posted by Dave on February 17, 2015 at 02:53 PM
Permalink | Comments (7)

 
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