January 18, 2018

ATTENTION, MONTY PYTHON:

UK appoints loneliness minister to combat ‘sad reality of modern life’

(Thanks to Jon Harris and Michael Parry)

Posted by Dave on January 18, 2018 at 06:04 AM
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CANADA: A LAWLESS LAND

Montrealer Creates Car Out Of Snow To Confuse The Police

(Thanks to Steve Thompson and Ralph)

 

Posted by Dave on January 18, 2018 at 06:01 AM
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January 17, 2018

VALENTINE'S DAY IS COMING

Dinosaur Tail To Be Auctioned For Mexico Quake Reconstruction

(Thanks to Le Petomane, who says "At a reserve price of $95,805, that is one expensive piece of tail.")

Posted by Dave on January 17, 2018 at 02:36 PM
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DUDE, THAT IS BOLD

Cannabis plants stolen from WA police at guarded crime scene

(Thanks to Le Petomane)

Posted by Dave on January 17, 2018 at 02:32 PM
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GUYS IN ACTION

'Sharp' dad uses machete as ice scraper to clean off windshield

(Thanks to Jeff Meyerson)

Posted by Dave on January 17, 2018 at 02:31 PM
Permalink | Comments (12)

CSI: WEBSTER, MASS.

Massachusetts Police Arrest Man for Stealing Manhole Covers

(Thanks to Le Petomane)

Posted by Dave on January 17, 2018 at 06:26 AM
Permalink | Comments (12)

THIS JUST IN

Internet spots crude image in Texas weather map

(Thanks to Stan Ruth)

Posted by Dave on January 17, 2018 at 06:23 AM
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WE SAW THEM OPEN FOR THE ARCHIES

Avocados Still Exist Thanks to Ancient Sloth Poops

(Thanks to Ralph)

Posted by Dave on January 17, 2018 at 06:21 AM
Permalink | Comments (7)

IT WAS RELEASED AFTER PRODUCING A VALID FLORIDA DRIVER'S LICENSE

Kangaroo hopping down Lumberton highway causes police chase

(Thanks to Stan Ruth)

Posted by Dave on January 17, 2018 at 06:14 AM
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ATTENTION, MEN OF FASHION:

Pretty dresses are no longer just for women

(Thanks to John Gregg)

Posted by Dave on January 17, 2018 at 06:12 AM
Permalink | Comments (13)

OR WE COULD JUST BAN IT

Artificial intelligence’s next task: Improving the taste of kale

(Thanks to Le Petomane)

Posted by Dave on January 17, 2018 at 06:07 AM
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CANADA: A NATION GRIPPED BY TERROR

2 eels found slithering around Scarborough Town Centre washroom floor

(Thanks to The Perts)

Posted by Dave on January 17, 2018 at 06:04 AM
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January 16, 2018

GUYS IN ACTION

Brothers Build Flying Bathtub in Order to Buy Sandwiches

(Thanks to Rick Day)

Posted by Dave on January 16, 2018 at 12:37 PM
Permalink | Comments (17)

BOLO FOR FUGU

Japanese city on alert for deadly fugu blowfish

(Thanks to Bill Hudgins)

Posted by Dave on January 16, 2018 at 12:36 PM
Permalink | Comments (13)

FLORIDA SPORTS UPDATE

Alligator battles python on Florida golf course

(Thanks to Rick Day)

Posted by Dave on January 16, 2018 at 12:15 PM
Permalink | Comments (10)

PERHAPS HE WAS CHILLY

A man traveling from Iceland to England was arrested at the Iceland Keflavík International Airport for attempting to avoid an excess luggage fee by wearing eight pairs of pants and ten shirts.

(Thanks to Another Ralph)

Posted by Dave on January 16, 2018 at 06:26 AM
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AUSTRALIAN TRAFFIC REPORT

IT HAS taken several police officers to pin down a wild wallaby found hopping along Sydney Harbour Bridge at about 5am this morning.

We saw Wild Wallaby open for Men At Work.

(Thanks to Janice Gelb and Phil McAvity)

Posted by Dave on January 16, 2018 at 06:19 AM
Permalink | Comments (5)

IT'S WHY WE'RE HERE

Due to the current political climate in our country, I have decided to make your blog my only source of news.  I have stopped reading anything else.  Not only does this make my day happier and less stressful, but I also feel like I am getting a much more accurate and complete account of world events.

Thank you!

John W. Austin

Posted by Dave on January 16, 2018 at 06:15 AM
Permalink | Comments (19)

MURDER IS STILL OK

Drunk droning now illegal in New Jersey

(Thanks to RussellMc)

Posted by Dave on January 16, 2018 at 06:11 AM
Permalink | Comments (5)

THEY WON'T GET FAR WITHOUT A RECHARGE

Pair sought for stealing credit card at Pa. Walmart, scurrying away on scooters

(Thanks to Jeff Meyerson)

Posted by Dave on January 16, 2018 at 06:10 AM
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FORGET THOSE 'HAMILTON' TICKETS

Chance to see fish sex at Marin’s Lagunitas Creek

(Thanks to Le Petomane)

Posted by Dave on January 16, 2018 at 06:07 AM
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January 15, 2018

'I'VE BEEN INVOLVED IN PLENTY OF UNIQUE THINGS. THIS IS A FIRST.'

A Florida couple was cited after a cat was found “without food, water or air” inside their luggage at Erie International Airport.

(Thanks to Ralph)

Posted by Dave on January 15, 2018 at 02:00 PM
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IT HAPPENS

Welshpool man was too drunk to remember defecating in town centre alleyway, court told

(Thanks to Unholy Slacker, who says "In that case, sir, you are free to go.")

Posted by Dave on January 15, 2018 at 01:57 PM
Permalink | Comments (4)

THE SCIENCE CANNOT GET ANY MORE SETTLED

Having sex weekly as you age ‘improves brain function’

(Thanks to Al Barkafski)

Posted by Dave on January 15, 2018 at 01:54 PM
Permalink | Comments (10)

'HELLO I AM BARKING OVER HERE'

Scientist Developing Device To Convert Dog Barks Into English Language

(Thanks to Alkali Bill)

Posted by Dave on January 15, 2018 at 01:52 PM
Permalink | Comments (8)

CSI: CANADA

Police dog easily tracks down Saint John steak thief

(Thanks to Ralph)

Posted by Dave on January 15, 2018 at 01:51 PM
Permalink | Comments (5)

THEY ALL HAVE VALID FLORIDA LICENSES

Video catches hundreds of tumbleweeds crossing Texas road in eerie spectacle

(Thanks to Clayton Carroll)

Posted by Dave on January 15, 2018 at 01:38 PM
Permalink | Comments (14)

ATTENTION, LADIES:

If you want to be left alone by dudes at the gym, pretending to fart is the way forward

(Thanks to, appropriately enough, Le Petomane, who says "Pretending?")

Posted by Dave on January 15, 2018 at 01:34 PM
Permalink | Comments (6)

EVEN FLORIDA IS IMPRESSED

Drugged driver crashes car into second story of California building

Autoplay.

(Thanks to many people)

Posted by Dave on January 15, 2018 at 01:27 PM
Permalink | Comments (11)

January 14, 2018

OTHER THAN THAT...

...it was an uneventful flight.

Posted by Dave on January 14, 2018 at 10:31 AM
Permalink | Comments (16)

January 13, 2018

LISTEN TO THE EXPERTS, PEOPLE

Aussie flu can be cured by having sex as experts reveal how to boost immune system

(Thanks to funny man, who says "The science is settled.")

Posted by Dave on January 13, 2018 at 08:40 PM
Permalink | Comments (10)

WE HAVE OUR NEXT PRESIDENT

Mayor Cited For Shooting Squirrels At Airport From His Truck

Autoplay.

(Thanks to Le Petomane)

Posted by Dave on January 13, 2018 at 07:55 PM
Permalink | Comments (10)

COLLEGE

When asked how much drank...'Too much sir'."

(Thanks to Steve K.)

Posted by Dave on January 13, 2018 at 07:53 PM
Permalink | Comments (7)

WHAT'S THAT SMELL?

Ultrarunner accused of winning races by hiding in Port-a-Potty

(Thanks to Al Barkafski)

Posted by Dave on January 13, 2018 at 07:48 PM
Permalink | Comments (5)

UNCLEAR ON THE LEGAL CONCEPT

Lawyer is accused of demanding $50K, the amount owed in ethics case, during attempted bank robbery

(Thanks to L. Raymond)

Posted by Dave on January 13, 2018 at 07:47 PM
Permalink | Comments (5)

NEVER GO ANYWHERE WITHOUT IT

Butcher locked in freezer bashes out with help from a blood sausage: 'Black pudding saved my life'

(Thanks to Andrew Mendez)

Posted by Dave on January 13, 2018 at 07:45 PM
Permalink | Comments (3)

AN EXAMPLE OF THE KIND OF NAME THIS BLOG HAS A STRICT POLICY AGAINST MAKING FUN OF

...can be found here.

(Thanks to Chuck Cody)

Posted by Dave on January 13, 2018 at 07:41 PM
Permalink | Comments (8)

SIXTEEN IS THE LEGAL LIMIT

French police stop drunk driver, 73, after 17 spins round roundabout

(Thanks to Ralph)

Posted by Dave on January 13, 2018 at 07:38 PM
Permalink | Comments (7)

January 12, 2018

WHILE FLORIDA IS MASS-PRODUCING DRIVERS WITHOUT BRAINS

GM says it's mass-producing cars without steering wheels

(Thanks to Bill Carver)

Posted by Dave on January 12, 2018 at 12:49 PM
Permalink | Comments (11)

NOT JUST SCIENTISTS: *TOP* SCIENTISTS

Tequila is GOOD for your health – according to top scientists

(Thanks to Dad-O-Lot and Le Petomane)

Posted by Dave on January 12, 2018 at 12:45 PM
Permalink | Comments (13)

SNAKES MAKING NEWS

Rare, venomous sea snake found slithering on Southern California shores. Are more coming?

(Thanks to D Shey)

Driver spots venomous, red-bellied black snake hissing at him through his car window

You know the continent.

(Thanks to Bill Hudgins)

Posted by Dave on January 12, 2018 at 12:43 PM
Permalink | Comments (5)

MEANWHILE ABROAD

Rigby & Peller, the luxury lingerie brand that has been fitting the Queen's bras for over three decades, has lost its royal warrant, the BBC confirms. It was withdrawn after the publication of a memoir titled Storm in a D-Cup by 82-year-old June Kenton, who had been the official corsetière at Buckingham Palace since the early '80s.

(Thanks to Michael Parry)

Posted by Dave on January 12, 2018 at 12:38 PM
Permalink | Comments (5)

THIS IS EXACTLY WHY WE HAVE A NUCLEAR ARSENAL

Storm blew historic building to Canada; Maine wants it back

(Thanks to Le Petomane)

Posted by Dave on January 12, 2018 at 06:22 AM
Permalink | Comments (6)

JAPAN: NOT WEIRD AT ALL!

“This fried chicken tastes like the bottom of a young woman’s foot.”

(Thanks to Joe Green)

Posted by Dave on January 12, 2018 at 06:21 AM
Permalink | Comments (16)

DUH

Golf is the dullest sport: survey

(Thanks to The Perts)

Posted by Dave on January 12, 2018 at 06:19 AM
Permalink | Comments (7)

MEANWHILE DOWN UNDER

A TOURIST was blocked from using a public toilet by a hilarious sexy kangaroo striking a seductive “come hither” pose.

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(Thanks to Ralph)

Posted by Dave on January 12, 2018 at 06:15 AM
Permalink | Comments (14)

YOU KNOW HOO'S BEHIND THIS

A spate of recent owl attacks has ruffled the feathers of metropolitan Atlanta's residents.

(Thanks to Le Petomane)

Posted by Dave on January 12, 2018 at 06:12 AM
Permalink | Comments (5)

January 11, 2018

BABY IT'S COLD OUTSIDE

Hospitals Across Maine Report Epidemic of Chipped Nipples

(Thanks to Mike Meyer, who says he saw them open for The Band)

Posted by Dave on January 11, 2018 at 12:26 PM
Permalink | Comments (19)

THIS CHANGES EVERYTHING

Woman returns Christmas tree in January 'because it's dead' - and store bizarrely gives her full refund

(Thanks to funny man)

Posted by Dave on January 11, 2018 at 12:25 PM
Permalink | Comments (10)

WE'RE THINKING ALIEN SQUIRRELS

What's sending mysterious repeating fast radio bursts in space?

(Thanks to Steve K., who says "I'm thinking Hendrix, Janet, Bonham, Entwhistle...")

Posted by Dave on January 11, 2018 at 12:22 PM
Permalink | Comments (9)

 
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