September 21, 2017

ADVISORY

Please Do Not Pet the Radioactive Puppies of Chernobyl

(Thanks to Ron Weil, who says "I saw Radioactive Puppies of Chernobyl open for REO Speedwagon.")

Posted by Dave on September 21, 2017 at 03:58 PM
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O CANADA, DUDE

Pot will be 'competitively priced' in Ontario: Gov't

(Thanks to The Perts)

An Ontario college is offering Canada's first ever post-graduate accreditation for growing weed.

(Thanks to Rick Day)

Posted by Dave on September 21, 2017 at 03:51 PM
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THOSE THINGS SHOULD NOT BE SOLD WITHOUT A COOLING-OFF PERIOD

Safeway employee beaten with baguette by Fremont man

(Thanks to Jeff Meyerson)

Posted by Dave on September 21, 2017 at 03:32 PM
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SPORTS UPDATE

Really, that wasn’t my dildo

This has been the Sports Update.

(Thanks to mezrap)

Posted by Dave on September 21, 2017 at 03:17 PM
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DOESN'T EVERYONE?

Why frogs turn yellow during group sex

(Thanks to Tembo Samadi)

Posted by Dave on September 21, 2017 at 03:13 PM
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ADVISORY

ATTENTION EVERYONE!!! For those of you driving on Chuckey Pike in Greene County: THIS IS A HALLOWEEN DECORATION! Do NOT call 911 reporting a dead body. Instead, congratulate the homeowner on a great display.

Screen Shot 2017-09-21 at 3.09.35 PM

(Thanks to Alan Dean and Ralph)

Posted by Dave on September 21, 2017 at 03:12 PM
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NAME THAT CONTINENT!

Woman horrified to discover a patch of dew covering her backyard is actually a massive SPIDER invasion - and the webs are multiplying every day

(Thanks to Patty Villanova)

Posted by Dave on September 21, 2017 at 03:05 PM
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FLORIDAAAAAAAAAAAAA

Vero Beach Man Asks Police To Punch Him “I Deserve It”

(Thanks to John Mayson)

Posted by Dave on September 21, 2017 at 03:03 PM
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CSI: GENEVA

People in Switzerland Want to Know Who Is Clogging Their Toilets With Wads of Cash

(Thanks to funny man)

Posted by Dave on September 21, 2017 at 02:57 PM
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TO THE BLOG FOLKS WHO ARE MEMBERS OF THE TRIBE (YOU KNOW WHO YOU ARE):

L'Shana Tova!

(A Hebrew expression meaning "May the new year be happy and free of squirrels.")

Posted by Dave on September 21, 2017 at 02:55 PM
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September 20, 2017

HE 'ALSO HAD A BELT AROUND HIS NECK'

A New Mexico man is facing charges after police say he randomly slapped a customer and then stole the man's green chile cheeseburger before dashing away.

(Thanks to Le Petomane)

Posted by Dave on September 20, 2017 at 10:46 AM
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YET ANOTHER ARGUMENT FOR DRINKING BEER AT BREAKFAST

Experts say pumpkin spice addiction is a real thing

(Thanks to Jon Harris)

Posted by Dave on September 20, 2017 at 10:44 AM
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THIS IS OMINOUS

A crab with a strong will to live was filmed climbing out of a pot of heating water and switching off the hot plate to save its comrades.

(Thanks to Ralph)

Posted by Dave on September 20, 2017 at 09:52 AM
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AND IN OTHER MELON NEWS

An Odessa man has been arrested after allegedly assaulting his wife with a watermelon.

(Thanks to Dorkfish)

Posted by Dave on September 20, 2017 at 08:51 AM
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ATTENTION, PEOPLE OF NEW YORK:

Don’t Eat The Random Melons Growing In The Middle Of Amsterdam Avenue

The melons were planted by the “night salad manager” at the store.

(Thanks to Jon Harris)

Posted by Dave on September 20, 2017 at 08:49 AM
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'SHE THEN REALIZED THAT SHE WAS OBSESSED WITH THAT PART OF HER BODY

Swedish woman grows buttocks 70 inches around

(Thanks to Ralph)

Posted by Dave on September 20, 2017 at 08:47 AM
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TODAY'S AMAZING DUCK FACT

It pays to hang out with the guys.

(Thanks to Art Silverman)

Posted by Dave on September 20, 2017 at 08:44 AM
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MIAMI TAX DOLLARS AT WORK

Hours After Hurricane Irma, Miami-Dade County Tickets Residents For Code Violations

(Thanks to Ranald Adams)

Posted by Dave on September 20, 2017 at 08:42 AM
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FLORIDAAAAAAAAAAA

Pasco man arrested for driving into person who set bananas on his car

Totally justified.

(Thanks to Jeff Meyerson)

Posted by Dave on September 20, 2017 at 08:40 AM
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September 19, 2017

AND THEY ALL HAVE VALID FLORIDA DRIVERS' LICENSES

Scientists discover Octlantis, an underwater 'city' built entirely by octopuses where they flirt, mate and even have den evictions

(Thanks to Patty Villlanova)

Posted by Dave on September 19, 2017 at 05:44 PM
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ALWAYS A SHREWD LEGAL MOVE

A crazed woman shouted 'if you can't beat them, eat them,' after biting an officer outside a police station in Ireland.

(Thanks to Roberto)

Posted by Dave on September 19, 2017 at 05:40 PM
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CLASSY

Burglar steals dead man’s clothes in Kentucky funeral home

(Thanks to Jon Harris)

Posted by Dave on September 19, 2017 at 05:34 PM
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IN THAT CASE, SIR....

Vero Beach Man Tells Police: “I’m not going to fight you, I’m drunk”

(Thanks to John Mayson)

Posted by Dave on September 19, 2017 at 10:52 AM
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NEWS YOU CAN USE

How to make your way out of a coffin if you were buried alive

(Thanks to Not My Usual Alias, who says "I like the idea of hoping for a cheap coffin.")

Posted by Dave on September 19, 2017 at 10:50 AM
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PEOPLE OF NORTH ALABAMA:

I'll be speaking tonight at the University of North Alabama in Florence. It's part of their Distinguished Events Series, but evidently they ran out of distinguished events and so they invited me. Come on out! It's free, and will totally be worth it.

Posted by Dave on September 19, 2017 at 10:47 AM
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THE LAST DRAWER YOU WANT TO FIND IT IN

Catcher removes deadly snake from resident's underwear drawer

You know the country.

(Thanks to Bob Brogan)

Posted by Dave on September 19, 2017 at 10:43 AM
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CSI: MANITOBA

Police were called to a store on 18th St. N on Friday at about 5:20 p.m. Officers found a man wandering the floor in a pig costume he had stolen from the store and decided to don.

(Thanks to The Perts)

Posted by Dave on September 19, 2017 at 09:41 AM
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ONLY 17 TRILLION TO GO

Mayor of New Orleans: 3 aggressive squirrels 'have been apprehended'

(Thanks to Ralph)

Update: Curiously bold squirrel climbs man's leg in New Orleans

They are undeterred.

(Thanks to Bob Brogan)

Posted by Dave on September 19, 2017 at 08:39 AM
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NOT AT ALL!

Woman removes six ribs to look like Wonder Woman and declares: ‘I don’t do this for vanity’

(Thanks to Le Petomane)

Posted by Dave on September 19, 2017 at 07:37 AM
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TO 'PROMOTE GOOD LUCK'

Wat Bang Khun Thien Nok in Bangkok has stirred controversy as the temple has installed statues of an imaginary creature with wings, the body of a tiger and a phallus for a head

(Thanks to Phil "Swash Buckler" McAvity)

Posted by Dave on September 19, 2017 at 07:35 AM
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THE BLOG BE QUOTED IN THIS ARRRRRTICLE

Arrr! Fake holidays the likes of Talk Like a Pirate Day are old as me peg leg, savvy?

Posted by Dave on September 19, 2017 at 07:30 AM
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'IT'S UNCHARTED TERRITORY FOR ME'

The Colorado Springs family has spent weeks trying to get a mystery woman they've dubbed "The Mad Pooper" to stop defecating in their neighborhood, right outside their house.

(Thanks to Steve Thompson)

Posted by Dave on September 19, 2017 at 07:28 AM
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IT WAS RELEASED AFTER PRODUCING A VALID FLORIDA DRIVER'S LICENSE

Police rescue angry swan after 'road rage incident' in Cambridgeshire

(Thanks to Jan in Grimsby)

Posted by Dave on September 19, 2017 at 07:24 AM
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NEW ZEALAND STARRRRTED EARLY

The international Talk Like a Pirate Day is held on September 19 every year – but a growing group of pirate enthusiasts have decided to jump the gun and celebrate it earlier with a pub crawl in New Plymouth on the closest Saturday to the day.

Posted by Dave on September 19, 2017 at 07:17 AM
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TODAY BE THE DAY, ME HEARTIES

Arrrr

20170918_170256

Posted by Dave on September 19, 2017 at 05:15 AM
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September 18, 2017

GUYS IN ACTION

Man tries to eat rattlesnake; snake bites back

(Thanks to coscolo and Le Petomane)

Man wears clown mask to scare daughter, gunshot is fired

(Thanks to Jon Harris)

Posted by Dave on September 18, 2017 at 04:07 PM
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'THERE MUST BE SOMETHING BEHIND THIS STORY'

Swiss prosecutors are trying to figure out why someone apparently attempted to flush tens of thousands of euros down the toilet at a Geneva branch of UBS Group AG.

(Thanks to Le Petomane)

Posted by Dave on September 18, 2017 at 04:04 PM
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FIRST IRMA, AND NOW THIS

Is the end of the world on September 23?

(Thanks to Suzie Q Wacvet)

Posted by Dave on September 18, 2017 at 11:27 AM
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'IT'S REALLY HARD IN CHINA'

Chinese sex doll rental service suspended amid controversy

(Thanks to Howard from Broward)

Posted by Dave on September 18, 2017 at 11:24 AM
Permalink | Comments (10)

FLORIDAAAAAAAAAAAAA

A Gainesville woman was arrested Tuesday after assaulting another woman in an attempt to “take back” her hair and uterus, Gainesville Police said.

(Thanks to Jeff Meyerson)

Posted by Dave on September 18, 2017 at 10:09 AM
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WHAT COULD POSSIBLY GO WRONG?

Navy's Most Advanced Subs Will Soon Use Xbox Controllers

(Thanks to Al Barkafski)

Posted by Dave on September 18, 2017 at 10:07 AM
Permalink | Comments (11)

TOTALLY WORTH IT, DUDE

Canadian man, 31, stands outside courthouse in just his underwear for a MONTH demanding police return his bong and marijuana - and it works!

(Thanks to Patty Villanova)

Posted by Dave on September 18, 2017 at 06:11 AM
Permalink | Comments (11)

FINALLY, SOME GOOD NEWS

Researchers Can Now Make Alcohol Out of Air

(Thanks to Thayer Conrad)

Posted by Dave on September 18, 2017 at 06:09 AM
Permalink | Comments (11)

SHE ALSO ENDORSES PORRIDGE

108-Year-Old Woman Claims Avoiding Men Is The Secret To A Long Life

(Thanks to Al Barkafski)

Posted by Dave on September 18, 2017 at 06:07 AM
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IN HIS DEFENSE: HE WAS WEARING A HELMET

Naked German masturbating whilst riding unicycle in Pattaya

(Thanks to Ralph)

Posted by Dave on September 18, 2017 at 06:05 AM
Permalink | Comments (10)

'CHORUS OF THE DAVE'

A neural network learns to create better D&D spells

And it has invented the name “Dave” which is now, for some reason, its favorite.

(Thanks to Steve Thompson)

Posted by Dave on September 18, 2017 at 06:02 AM
Permalink | Comments (10)

AUSTRALIAAAAAAAAAA

Venomous brown snake found living in family's toilet

(Thanks to Fabian Marson)

Posted by Dave on September 18, 2017 at 05:58 AM
Permalink | Comments (3)

YOU CAN TAKE FLORIDIANS OUT OF FLORIDA, BUT...

Two Floridians accidentally drove their car into a hotel pool after they fled the state ahead of Hurricane Irma, WSB-TV reports.

(Thanks to Jane Linderman)

Posted by Dave on September 18, 2017 at 05:56 AM
Permalink | Comments (6)

September 17, 2017

NO, THIS DOES NOT REFER TO CONGRESS

A museum of blood-sucking nightmares: the US National Tick Collection

(Thanks to Steve K)

Posted by Dave on September 17, 2017 at 02:57 PM
Permalink | Comments (9)

WORKOUT ROUTINE OF THE WEEK SO FAR

A German man whose penis became stuck in the hole of a 2.5 kilogram gym weight plate needed the help of the fire brigade and their power tools to remove it.

(Thanks to Craig Roberts and Ralph)

Posted by Dave on September 17, 2017 at 02:54 PM
Permalink | Comments (15)

 
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