April 26, 2017

CONSUMER PROTEST OF THE WEEK SO FAR

"Bad Experience" At Bookstore Prompts Man, 71, To Retaliate With Dildo Barrage

(Thanks to Jeff Meyerson, who claims he saw Dildo Barrage open for the Sex Pistols)

Posted by Dave on April 26, 2017 at 02:14 PM
Permalink | Comments (13)

WE SAW THEM OPEN FOR BANNED YAK MEAT

Bronx Zoo proudly displays 'snot otters'

(Thanks to Le Petomane)

Posted by Dave on April 26, 2017 at 02:10 PM
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IN HIS DEFENSE, IT ALSO SAID 'SEX' AND 'ROCK & ROLL'

Man driving van with 'drugs' written on the outside arrested for drug dealing

(Thanks to Jay Brandes)

Posted by Dave on April 26, 2017 at 02:09 PM
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WE SAW BANNED YAK MEAT OPEN FOR STING

Customs agents at John F. Kennedy Airport have seized more than 300 pounds of banned Yak meat smuggled in sweaters, pants and shawls.

(Thanks to Bill Hudgins)

Posted by Dave on April 26, 2017 at 12:47 PM
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FLORIDAAAAAAAAAAAA

Man says he stole forklift because it was better than walking

In that case, sir....

(Thanks to Jeff Meyerson)

(Note that this blog is not making fun of the suspect's name.)

Posted by Dave on April 26, 2017 at 12:46 PM
Permalink | Comments (9)

WE PREFER THE TERM 'PERMANENTLY RE-ACCOMMODATED'

Simon the giant bunny found dead after United Airlines flight

(Thanks to Jeff Meyerson)

Posted by Dave on April 26, 2017 at 12:41 PM
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IT WAS ASKING FOR IT

DRUNK MAN KNOCKED DOWN 300-POUND ROBOT IN MOUNTAIN VIEW

(Thanks to Janice Gelb and Peter Metrinko)

Posted by Dave on April 26, 2017 at 06:23 AM
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WHAT COULD POSSIBLY GO WRONG?

Some residents in southwest Illinois were fired up on Monday over a new gun club with a bar that may be opening in town.

(Thanks to Le Petomane)

Posted by Dave on April 26, 2017 at 06:22 AM
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LIONS

Do not mess with them.

(Thanks to Matt Filar)

Posted by Dave on April 26, 2017 at 06:20 AM
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YOU MIGHT WIN.... A T-SHIRT!

Now Florida wildlife officials who want to rid the state of invasive snakes are trying something even more offbeat: prizes for anyone in the public who picks up a python.

No word on what the python wins if it... you know, wins.

(Thanks to Ralph)

Posted by Dave on April 26, 2017 at 06:15 AM
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GUYS IN ACTION

Kung Fu students dangle heavy wooden boxes from genitals

(Thanks to Kevin Smith)

Posted by Dave on April 26, 2017 at 06:13 AM
Permalink | Comments (5)

IT WOULD TAKE FAR MORE TO GET THIS BLOG TO SAY THAT

Florida driver's unique method for towing a boat will make you say 'WTF'

(Thanks to Rick Day, Ralph, and Emily, Leslie and w)

Posted by Dave on April 26, 2017 at 06:10 AM
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GET THAT NOBEL PRIZE READY

Bizarre singing breasts advert beats Facebook ban by covering nipples with moving lips

(Thanks to funny man)

Not Totally SFW. Also, autoplay.

Posted by Dave on April 26, 2017 at 06:04 AM
Permalink | Comments (5)

BECAUSE THE REGULAR SLUGS AREN'T GETTING THE JOB DONE

Spanish cannibal slugs invading Britain and creating 'superslugs'

(Thanks to A Wheeler)

Posted by Dave on April 26, 2017 at 06:01 AM
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PERHAPS HE WAS, IN FACT, TOOTING

Man Stabbed In The Buttocks In Motiveless Attack In Tooting

(Thanks to Jay Brandes)

Posted by Dave on April 26, 2017 at 05:56 AM
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April 25, 2017

APOCALYPSE UPDATE

Any day now.

(Thanks to AC, who says "My advice is not to read this." This is good advice.)

Posted by Dave on April 25, 2017 at 03:03 PM
Permalink | Comments (12)

EW

Fatberg that blocked high street hairdressers toilets is so big it stretches the full length of the high street

Edgar?

(Thanks to Le Petomane)

Posted by Dave on April 25, 2017 at 02:54 PM
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UNCLEAR ON THE CONCEPT

A prison officer who smuggled cannabis, mobile phones and sim cards into a young offender's institution in her bra to earn extra cash to fund a master's degree in criminology.

(Thanks to Le Petomane)

Posted by Dave on April 25, 2017 at 02:52 PM
Permalink | Comments (3)

OOPS

Tourism director, 61, who was fired after she accidentally live-streamed herself naked on her ENTIRE TOWN'S Instagram page in sext gone-wrong sues to get her job back

(Thanks to Patty Villanova)

Posted by Dave on April 25, 2017 at 10:33 AM
Permalink | Comments (15)

THERE IS NOTHING MORE UNNATURAL THAN NATURE

'Alien-like' Hercules Beetle wriggles while inside pupa before it prepares to emerge as fully grown insect

(Thanks to Le Petomane, who says "Of course they're found in Florida.")

Posted by Dave on April 25, 2017 at 10:30 AM
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YOU KNOW THE SQUIRRELS WERE BEHIND THIS

Cheeky seagull steals false teeth

(Thanks to Ralph)

Posted by Dave on April 25, 2017 at 10:29 AM
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SOMETIMES IT'S BLESSED TO RECEIVE, DUDE

Police in Pennsylvania said a church pastor contacted authorities after receiving a UPS package that unexpectedly contained 10 pounds of marijuana.

(Thanks to Bob Brogan)

Posted by Dave on April 25, 2017 at 10:28 AM
Permalink | Comments (7)

IN THAT CASE, SIR....

Florida man worried about zombies breaks into home, deputies say

(Thanks to Jeff Meyerson)

Posted by Dave on April 25, 2017 at 10:26 AM
Permalink | Comments (5)

JUST WHEN YOU THINK THE WORLD CANNOT GET ANY STUPIDER

...the world proves you wrong.

(Thanks to Le Petomane and Bill Hudgins)

Posted by Dave on April 25, 2017 at 10:24 AM
Permalink | Comments (21)

FLORIDA WILDLIFE REPORT

Monkey on the loose in Apopka

(Thanks to Le Petomane)

Posted by Dave on April 25, 2017 at 06:10 AM
Permalink | Comments (4)

GUYS IN ACTION

Man vs. Keg

(Thanks to Jan in Grimsby)

Posted by Dave on April 25, 2017 at 06:07 AM
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'CONSULTANTS'

Florida state senator, now resigned, had Playboy and Hooters models on political payroll

(Thanks to Janice Gelb)

Posted by Dave on April 25, 2017 at 06:04 AM
Permalink | Comments (7)

April 24, 2017

DUDE

16-foot joint added to store's museum on 4/20

(Thanks to Bob Bgrogan)

Posted by Dave on April 24, 2017 at 02:41 PM
Permalink | Comments (11)

ALTHOUGH SOME PEOPLE CALL IT MAURICE

Northern Lights enthusiasts see a strange new light in the sky and decide to call it 'Steve'

(Thanks to wiredog and The Perts)

Posted by Dave on April 24, 2017 at 02:39 PM
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THIS MAN DESERVES A MEDAL

One person was taken into custody on Sunday afternoon after police said the man tried to push through authorities to "save" his beer that was inside the residence.

(Thanks to Greg MIchealson)

Posted by Dave on April 24, 2017 at 02:32 PM
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TOTALLY JUSTIFIED

Nashville woman calls cops after husband refuses to get her ice cream

Doubling Down On Smart: The officer says he notified the woman it was a crime to file a false report and she would be placed under arrest. The woman first asked to use the bathroom, which she was allowed to do as long as the door was left cracked open. Police say after two minutes, they heard a window open, followed by a loud thud.

(Thanks to Bill Hudgins)

Posted by Dave on April 24, 2017 at 02:27 PM
Permalink | Comments (2)

'SAMURAI SWORDS, GHURKA KNIVES OR HEAVY HAMMERS'

A court has rejected a 60-year-old man's attempt to invoke the ancient right to trial by combat, rather than pay a £25 fine for a minor motoring offence.

(Thanks to Peter Metrinko)

Posted by Dave on April 24, 2017 at 02:22 PM
Permalink | Comments (7)

SHE ALREADY HAS HER FLORIDA LICENSE

'I Want to Kiss You': Dashcam Video Shows Former Miami-Dade Teacher During DUI Arrest

In that case, ma'am...

(Thanks to Jim Kenaston)

Posted by Dave on April 24, 2017 at 02:19 PM
Permalink | Comments (8)

GUYS IN ACTION

YouTuber attempts 'Bart Simpson megaphone challenge'

(Thanks to Bob Brogan)

Posted by Dave on April 24, 2017 at 02:15 PM
Permalink | Comments (3)

NAME THAT STATE!

Enraged by xylophone, woman dumps pan of grease on man’s head

(Thanks to Jeff Meyerson)

Posted by Dave on April 24, 2017 at 06:23 AM
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OUTDOORSPERSONS OF THE WEEK SO FAR

“They were calling to each other and sneaking up on each other like two toms coming at each other,” Bussone said. “Both swore they were sneaking on real turkeys.”

(Thanks to Kevin Smith)

Posted by Dave on April 24, 2017 at 06:22 AM
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AND IF THEY DON'T PAY UP, THEY'LL GET MANILOW

Kenny G serenades Delta passengers for charity

(Thanks to James Flynn, who says "At United, they just beat you.")

Posted by Dave on April 24, 2017 at 06:14 AM
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ALWAYS A SHREWD MOVE

Santa Rosa woman arrested for allegedly inhaling drugs while talking with cops

(Thanks to Jay Brandes)

Posted by Dave on April 24, 2017 at 06:10 AM
Permalink | Comments (8)

SOON WE WILL HAVE NO FUNDAMENTAL HUMAN RIGHTS LEFT

Soon, Rhode Island drivers will no longer be allowed to smile in their driver’s license photos.

(Thanks to funny man)

Posted by Dave on April 24, 2017 at 06:07 AM
Permalink | Comments (16)

THAT'S BECAUSE IT TAKES THREE ADULTS

Survey: 1 In 5 Adults In The UK Can’t Change A Lightbulb, Boil An Egg

(Thanks to coscolo)

Posted by Dave on April 24, 2017 at 06:06 AM
Permalink | Comments (17)

OH, THE HUMANITY

Semi Carrying 47,000 Pounds of Beer Overturned on Highway 299 West of Big Bar

Must be a really big bar.

(Thanks to Matt Filar)

Posted by Dave on April 24, 2017 at 06:02 AM
Permalink | Comments (9)

April 23, 2017

THIS BLOG CARES, DAMMIT

Al has made 50+ billion Dum Dums in over 48 years at the factory, and is retiring Friday, but HE THINKS NO ONE CARES.

(Thanks to funny man)

Posted by Dave on April 23, 2017 at 01:12 PM
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SECRET INGREDIENT

Following the recent trend of locals in the southernmost Narathiwat province drinking water from a “sacred pond” that they believed cured illness, health officials tested the water and found out the pond is actually contaminated with feces.

(Thanks to funny man)

Posted by Dave on April 23, 2017 at 01:09 PM
Permalink | Comments (7)

THEY ARE CLOSELY RELATED IN THE FOOD PYRAMID

Frozen hash brown recall due to possible 'extraneous golf ball materials'

Autoplay.

(Thanks to Kevin Smith and Peter Metrinko)

Posted by Dave on April 23, 2017 at 01:06 PM
Permalink | Comments (11)

IT'S VERY HEALTHY, EXCEPT FOR THE SPLINTERS

Pakistani man, 50, is addicted to eating TREES

(Thanks to funny man, who is NOT making fun of the man's name)

Posted by Dave on April 23, 2017 at 01:04 PM
Permalink | Comments (15)

BEST NAME FOR A LANDSCAPE SERVICE SO FAR THIS WEEK

They'll punish your yard, and your yard will love it.

(Thanks to Peter Metrinko)

Posted by Dave on April 23, 2017 at 12:56 PM
Permalink | Comments (6)

MICHIGAN HEALTH ADVISORY:

Please Don't Perform Liposuction in Barns

(Thanks to Jeff Meyerson)

Posted by Dave on April 23, 2017 at 12:43 PM
Permalink | Comments (6)

WOODY ALLEN DID THIS DECADES AGO

The clerk said he couldn’t read the handwriting and handed it back to the man and asked him to read it to him. The robber complied and read the note aloud.

(Thanks to Jeff Meyerson, who says "He had a gub, apparently.")

Posted by Dave on April 23, 2017 at 12:42 PM
Permalink | Comments (9)

April 22, 2017

IT'S ABOUT DAMN TIME

A new strain of red-eyed mutant wasps has been brought into the world by a team of scientists.

(Thanks to Jay Brandes)

Posted by Dave on April 22, 2017 at 09:38 AM
Permalink | Comments (16)

CSI: THAILAND

“You’ve got a drunk monkey going through your coconuts.”

Autoplay.

(Thanks to Rick Day)

Posted by Dave on April 22, 2017 at 09:31 AM
Permalink | Comments (15)

 
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