July 22, 2014

CSI: WISCONSIN

Appleton bar ends 'Lingerie Night' after kidnap attempt

(Thanks to Jon Harris)

Posted by Dave on July 22, 2014 at 12:33 PM
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July 21, 2014

THIGH SHOOTING CANNOT BE FAR OFF

Alexander Kristoff snatches stage victory from brave Jack Bauer 

(Thank to all y'all)

Posted by judi on July 21, 2014 at 04:36 PM
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READING IS FUN*DAMENTAL

Learning to Play with a Lion's Testicles: Unexpected Gifts from the Animals of Africa

(Thanks to Jon Harris, who does not explain what book he was looking for when he found this)

Posted by judi on July 21, 2014 at 02:26 PM
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AS SEEN ON TV

Because we're too far out of shape to leap up and change the channel in time.

Posted by judi on July 21, 2014 at 12:27 PM
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July 20, 2014

ME AND JUSTICE BREYER

I'm attending the Sun Valley Writers Conference -- which is every bit as gruellng as it sounds -- and last night I was at a dinner with some of the other writers, including U.S. Supreme Court Justice Stephen Breyer. I took the opportunity to share with Justice Breyer some of my thoughts on constitutional law, and as you can see, he was intrigued.

DB and Breyer

I made one point so thought-provoking that it caused Justice Breyer to assume a pose of extreme thoughtfulness.

DB and Breyer 2

Don't thank me. I'm just doing my job as an American citizen and an English major.

(Photos by Scott Turow, with direction from Hector Elizondo. Really)

Posted by Dave on July 20, 2014 at 10:10 AM
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July 19, 2014

TOTALLY JUSTIFIED

A self-styled sangoma from Chief Nyajena area in Masvingo yesterday appeared in court for allegedly setting his uncle’s house on fire because it had goblins.

(Thanks to Ralph)

Posted by Dave on July 19, 2014 at 10:51 AM
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YUM

Photo (1)

(Thanks to Joe in Japan, who says "We call them 'chitlins,' I believe.")

Posted by Dave on July 19, 2014 at 10:48 AM
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WE NEVER TRUSTED THEM

"Morning people", who are more alert early in the day, are more likely to cheat and behave unethically in the night hours, researchers say.

(Thanks to Joe in Japan)

Posted by Dave on July 19, 2014 at 10:46 AM
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GET THAT NOBEL PRIZE READY

Harvard students’ invention puts cake in a can

(Thanks to Janice Gelb)

Posted by Dave on July 19, 2014 at 10:44 AM
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MEANWHILE IN SPORTS

Cornhole champions being decided in West Virginia

(Thanks to Ralph Jones)

Posted by Dave on July 19, 2014 at 10:41 AM
Permalink | Comments (5)

NATURE

Blue tits make home inside pig's head

(Thanks to Jon Harris)

Posted by Dave on July 19, 2014 at 10:37 AM
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July 18, 2014

UPDATE


20140718_183618.jpg

Posted by Miami Herald on July 18, 2014 at 09:40 PM
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ALWAYS HAVE ONE ON YOUR PERSON

Man's life saved after laptop shields crossbow arrow

(Thanks to Focalpoint)

Posted by Dave on July 18, 2014 at 07:20 PM
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DURING WHICH IT TRAVELED AN ESTIMATED SEVEN FEET

A pet turtle is back home in Hay River, N.W.T. after three weeks on the lam.

(Thanks to The Perts)

Posted by Dave on July 18, 2014 at 07:15 PM
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WE WILL NEVER AGAIN VIEW BASEBALL AS BORING

Derek Holland And The Rangers Bullpen Play Fart Bottle Roulette

(Thanks to Unholy Slacker)

Posted by Dave on July 18, 2014 at 07:13 PM
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BRILLIANT

NAGOYA – A member of the Shinshiro Municipal Assembly in Aichi Prefecture proposed distributing “punctured condoms” to married residents to bolster the city’s dwindling population, the legislature’s secretariat said Friday.

(Thanks to Joe in Japan)

Posted by Dave on July 18, 2014 at 07:09 PM
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MEANWHILE IN SPORTS

Lolo Jones Wants Her Bobsled Butt Back

(Thanks to Unholy Slacker)

Posted by Dave on July 18, 2014 at 07:03 PM
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WHAT'S THAT SMELL?

World’s longest poo belonging to an unidentified dinosaur measures an 'eye-watering' 40 inches - and it could fetch $10,000 at auction

(Thanks to Unholy Slacker and Jan in Grimsby)

Posted by Dave on July 18, 2014 at 07:01 PM
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WHERE THE *HELL* IS THE UNITED NATIONS?

More than half of Vancouver bars may be hosing us with smaller pints

Those HOSERS.

(Thanks to The Perts)

Posted by Dave on July 18, 2014 at 06:59 PM
Permalink | Comments (5)

OOPS

Road workers smash 1,000-year-old monument

(Thanks to Not My Usual Alias, who says "Given the phallic nature, I think the words of Steigen's mayor should be noted.")

(The mayor wants to get it up again.)

Posted by Dave on July 18, 2014 at 06:57 PM
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THEY CAUGHT IT, THEN THEY *RELEASED* IT

So-called testicle-eating fish found in Sarasota waters

(Thanks to Jeff Meyerson)

Posted by Dave on July 18, 2014 at 06:53 PM
Permalink | Comments (1)

KINKY

FAA Investigates New York Congressman's Drone Wedding Video

(Thanks to coscolo, who says "I didn't know people could marry drones.")

Posted by Dave on July 18, 2014 at 05:59 AM
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SOUNDS OMINOUS

Robots should be used more to tackle shrinking population

(Thanks to Joe in Japan)

Posted by Dave on July 18, 2014 at 05:42 AM
Permalink | Comments (3)

CANADA: A NATION GRIPPED BY TERROR

Thief makes off with giant ‘Skittles’ from kids' playground

(Thanks to The Perts)

Posted by Dave on July 18, 2014 at 05:39 AM
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July 17, 2014

OUR FRIEND, ANDY THE TROPICHUNT.COM GUY

Here's a nice story about him.

Posted by Dave on July 17, 2014 at 06:53 PM
Permalink | Comments (12)

STRIKING A BLOW FOR... SOMETHING

A self-styled 'Pastafarian' has reportedly won the right to wear a plastic colander on his head in official photos.

Pastaman167a

(Thanks to Jon Harris)

Posted by Dave on July 17, 2014 at 04:50 PM
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MYSTERY

I just received a shipment of books. Here's the cover:

Scan

I think this is the Japanese, or maybe Korean, version of You Can Date Boys When You're 40. But I don't know for sure. Does anybody out there know? Can anybody tell me what the cover says? Thanks.

If it is my book, I have to say it looks a lot nicer without me on the cover.

UPDATE: So It's Korean. Thanks to all who offered suggestions on what it means, including those of you who were flagrantly lying.

This came from The Amazing Steve:

Hi Dave,  A friend at work, Jong, was able to translate the cover:

What Women/Girls Want

Funniest Guy in the US Dave Barry

Very Funny and a Little Bit Helpful Parenting and Other Stories

"This book was so funny, I fell off my chair. Good thing there was a blanket to fall on" - Stephen King\

 The two lines on the upper half of the book say "Dave Barry" and the translator's name.

Posted by Dave on July 17, 2014 at 03:51 PM
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TELL *THEM* THAT.

150,000 Burmese pythons in the Everglades. Nothing to be afraid of.

(Thanks to Jay Brandes)

Posted by Dave on July 17, 2014 at 01:58 PM
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SO HOW WAS YOUR COMMUTE?

Whoa.

(Thanks to Jan in Grimsby)

Posted by Dave on July 17, 2014 at 01:54 PM
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THE FRIENDLY SKIES

A man suspected of being drunk posed as a security screener at San Francisco International Airport long enough to direct a couple of women into a private booth for pat downs before real security staffers caught on to him, authorities said Wednesday.

(Thanks to Jeff Meyerson)

Posted by Dave on July 17, 2014 at 01:32 PM
Permalink | Comments (11)

WE HATE IT WHEN THAT HAPPENS

The Western Australia Department of Fisheries said it had no visible signs of injury or disease, but had a large sea lion lodged in its throat.

(Thanks to Jon Harris)

Posted by Dave on July 17, 2014 at 01:26 PM
Permalink | Comments (10)

HEY, IT COULDN'T BE ANY WORSE THAN BUD LIGHT

Why Triangle craft beer won't be brewed with sheep feces

(Thanks to Unholy Slacker)

Posted by Dave on July 17, 2014 at 01:25 PM
Permalink | Comments (2)

IT WAS DELICIOUS

520-Million-Year-Old Sea Monster with Preserved Brain Unearthed

(Thanks to Bill Hudgins)

Posted by Dave on July 17, 2014 at 11:35 AM
Permalink | Comments (3)

AND PROUD OF IT

Florida ranks as the scariest place in the country

(Thanks to Jeff Meyerson)

Posted by Dave on July 17, 2014 at 11:26 AM
Permalink | Comments (6)

EW

Toothless man charged with gumming roommate's arm for not cleaning his ear

(Thanks to Ralph, and Jeff Meyerson)

Posted by Dave on July 17, 2014 at 11:22 AM
Permalink | Comments (7)

THE SHARKS WILL GET IT

Coast Guard warns of port-a-potty floating in St. Johns River

(Thanks to Ralph)

Posted by Dave on July 17, 2014 at 11:21 AM
Permalink | Comments (4)

CSI: MADERA COUNTY

California man charged with stealing beeswax for drug habit

(Thanks to Jon Harris)

Posted by Dave on July 17, 2014 at 11:20 AM
Permalink | Comments (4)

'ANIMALS MAKE FUNNY SOUNDS, SMELL BAD & HAVE SEX OUTDOORS'

Englewood sign warns of farm animals having sex

(Thanks to Jeff Meyerson)

Posted by Dave on July 17, 2014 at 11:10 AM
Permalink | Comments (8)

CRADLE OF LIBERTY, BABY

Lap dances still tax-free in Philadelphia after court ruling

(Thanks to The Perts and Chris Elzi)

Posted by Dave on July 17, 2014 at 11:03 AM
Permalink | Comments (4)

FRANCE REMAINING ON HIGH ALERT JUST IN CASE

Lake Ontario ‘shark’ video turns out to be a hoax

(Thanks to The Perts)

Posted by Dave on July 17, 2014 at 11:02 AM
Permalink | Comments (3)

July 16, 2014

SEND THIS AGENT TO WASHINGTON

Reporter stopped by TSA agent who didn't know District of Columbia is in US

(Thanks to Nachum Hurvitz)

Posted by Dave on July 16, 2014 at 03:15 PM
Permalink | Comments (10)

A COCKTAIL TANKER IS STEAMING TO THE SCENE

Casino boat with 123 people aboard stuck on rocks

(Thanks to Jon Harris and Don Faber)

Posted by Dave on July 16, 2014 at 03:03 PM
Permalink | Comments (12)

TIME FOR STRICT FEDERAL CONTROLS

Angered by the alleged slight, Hogan tossed a gumball machine at the worker, hitting him in the leg.

(Thanks to ASK)

Posted by Dave on July 16, 2014 at 03:01 PM
Permalink | Comments (8)

GRANDCHILD UPDATE

10373523_10101423584167817_2238706340547515568_n

Dylan Maxwell Barry with Petey the Dog. Dylan is like: "I'm blaming that on YOU."

Posted by Dave on July 16, 2014 at 01:05 PM
Permalink | Comments (17)

WE LIKED THEM BETTER WHEN THEY PARTIED

Scientists Engineered Mutant Worms That Can't Get Drunk

(Thanks to ricwms and DaninTustin)

Posted by Dave on July 16, 2014 at 10:56 AM
Permalink | Comments (9)

GUYS IN ACTION

Man sets house afire while trying to kill spider with lighter, spray paint

(Thanks to Rob Lindsay, who says, "And people say the residents of Seattle are the most intelligent people in America.") (Also thanks to Craig Roberts and Rick Day)

Posted by Dave on July 16, 2014 at 10:51 AM
Permalink | Comments (17)

FRANCE ETC.

A shark has allegedly been spotted in Lake Ontario.

(Thanks to The Perts)

Posted by Dave on July 16, 2014 at 10:49 AM
Permalink | Comments (8)

LOOK UNDER THE SOFA CUSHIONS

2 billion Canadian pennies still out there

(Thanks to The Perts)

Posted by Dave on July 16, 2014 at 10:47 AM
Permalink | Comments (6)

THEY WERE RELEASED AFTER PRODUCING VALID FLORIDA DRIVERS' LICENSES

Mysterious Chunks of Rotting Meat Close New York Highway

(Thanks to Scott Cramer, who claims he saw them open for Moby Grape)

Posted by Dave on July 16, 2014 at 10:46 AM
Permalink | Comments (10)

WE SAW THEM OPEN FOR WHITESNAKE

Giant Siberian Mystery Hole

(Thanks to coscolo)

Posted by Dave on July 16, 2014 at 10:44 AM
Permalink | Comments (11)

 
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