January 19, 2017

THERE IS WRONG...

...and then there is really wrong.

(Thanks to Terry in Bedford)

Posted by Dave on January 19, 2017 at 06:45 PM
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AAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAA

Florida Woman pulls a machete at a day care

(Thanks to Jeff Meyerson)

Posted by Dave on January 19, 2017 at 06:42 PM
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IT WAS ASKING FOR IT

A 60-year-old man accused of attacking a portable toilet before threatening a man and his dog got locked up, according to an arrest affidavit.

Guess the state.

(Thanks to Ralph)

Posted by Dave on January 19, 2017 at 06:38 PM
Permalink | Comments (4)

SEND HIM TO WASHINGTON

Florida man destroys nest full of wasps with his bare hands

(Thanks to Ralph)

Posted by Dave on January 19, 2017 at 11:07 AM
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SEEMS LEGIT

'Aids-curing' pastor claims he removed woman's 'vaginal warts' with the power of his holy shoe

Autoplay.

(Thanks to Patty Villanova, Le Petomane and Jim Kenaston)

Posted by Dave on January 19, 2017 at 11:03 AM
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CSI: LADY LAKE

Police were able to help link a toothless woman to a vehicle theft after they found her dentures inside the vehicle.

There's probably a perfectly innocent explanation.

(Thanks to Jeff Meyerson)

Posted by Dave on January 19, 2017 at 11:02 AM
Permalink | Comments (8)

SPORTS UPDATE

Two members of the University of Florida's Bass Fishing Team were filmed being thrown from their boat at a speed of 57 mph when the steering system malfunctioned.

(Thanks to Bob Brogan and Ross Couples)

The University of Florida's Bass Fishing Team?

Posted by Dave on January 19, 2017 at 10:59 AM
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YEAH, BUT YOU RARELY FIND A HORSE IN YOUR TOILET

Horses more deadly than snakes in Australia, data shows

(Thanks to Phil McAvity and Ralph)

Posted by Dave on January 19, 2017 at 10:56 AM
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IN THAT CASE, MA'AM, YOU ARE FREE TO GO

Police: Driver clocked at 91 mph during snowstorm wanted new car stereo

(Thanks to Poker)

Posted by Dave on January 19, 2017 at 10:53 AM
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SO THAT'S WHAT THAT MEANS

Japanese toilet industry agrees to standardize complex bidet controls

This is a wonderful picture:

Screen Shot 2017-01-19 at 10.50.34 AM

(Thanks to Nancy Gill, Phil McAvity and Roberto)

Posted by Dave on January 19, 2017 at 10:51 AM
Permalink | Comments (12)

KINKY

This Wasp Species Has an Ant Head For a Butt

(Thanks to DaninDallas)

Posted by Dave on January 19, 2017 at 10:47 AM
Permalink | Comments (9)

SURELY THAT WILL WIN HIM OVER

Woman stabbed man 9 times after he wouldn't commit to relationship

(Thanks to Allen at Division and Jeff Meyerson)

Posted by Dave on January 19, 2017 at 10:45 AM
Permalink | Comments (14)

January 18, 2017

IN THAT CASE, SIR, YOU ARE FREE TO GO

“(Expletive)” said he’d been drinking tequila “and did not have a name at this time.”

Guess the state.

(Thanks to John Mayson)

Posted by Dave on January 18, 2017 at 07:51 AM
Permalink | Comments (23)

MEN ARE WAY OUT FRONT ON THIS

According to the Plastic Surgery Group‘s cosmetic trend predictions for 2017, the next hot trend in how your body should look is tiny nipples.

(Thanks to The Perts)

Posted by Dave on January 18, 2017 at 07:48 AM
Permalink | Comments (15)

OK, THEN!

French told not to fear wolves roaming Paris streets as 'they only eat four-legged animals'

(Thanks to Rob Simbeck and coscolo)

Posted by Dave on January 18, 2017 at 07:45 AM
Permalink | Comments (19)

January 17, 2017

CANADA TAKES A STAND

According to a lawsuit, the building council claims that “that the word ‘Dick’ in Moby Dick was an offensive term"

(Thanks to Peter [Ha!] Metrinko)

Posted by Dave on January 17, 2017 at 01:47 PM
Permalink | Comments (19)

WHILE THE MEDIA CONTINUE TO BLATHER ABOUT THE RUSSIANS

Who’s winning the cyber war? The squirrels, of course

(Thanks to Sean T, Peter Metrinko, Bruce Pingree and Nancy Gill)

Posted by Dave on January 17, 2017 at 01:43 PM
Permalink | Comments (3)

MEN:

Do not click here.

(Thanks to Patty Villanova)

Posted by Dave on January 17, 2017 at 09:47 AM
Permalink | Comments (15)

WE MIGHT AS WELL JUST SHRED THE BILL OF RIGHTS

Cooking squirrel with blowtorch costs woman's insurance $300K

Autoplay.

(Thanks to Dave N.)

Posted by Dave on January 17, 2017 at 09:45 AM
Permalink | Comments (7)

CSI: MAIDSTONE, KENT

Blow-up sex doll sparks murder alert after reports of 'body' floating in river

(Thanks to Ralph)

Posted by Dave on January 17, 2017 at 09:44 AM
Permalink | Comments (8)

FLORIDA WILDLIFE REPORT

Yikes.

This has been your Florida Wildlife Report.

(Thanks to Jeff Meyerson, Newtonian, John Gregg, Stephan Smith and A.C.)

Posted by Dave on January 17, 2017 at 09:41 AM
Permalink | Comments (14)

January 16, 2017

HOOTERS

Coastguards investigating 'cries for help' find two loved up owls instead

(Thanks to Le Petomane)

Posted by Dave on January 16, 2017 at 04:24 PM
Permalink | Comments (7)

WE SAW THEM OPEN FOR SPRINGSTEEN

Jersey monitors threat from toxic sea lettuce fumes

(Thanks to Jay Brandes)

Posted by Dave on January 16, 2017 at 04:22 PM
Permalink | Comments (14)

O COME ALL YE FAITHFUL TO THE GLASGOW IKEA

Shopper is stunned to spot the face of Jesus in one of the store's toilet doors

(Thanks to Ralph)

Posted by Dave on January 16, 2017 at 10:40 AM
Permalink | Comments (17)

ELSEWHERE DOWN UNDER

DATING apps are fuelling rampant rates of sexual promiscuity, according to a leading Brisbane sexual health doctor who “quite frequently” treats patients who have sex with up to 10 people a day.

(Thanks to Ross Couples)

Posted by Dave on January 16, 2017 at 10:38 AM
Permalink | Comments (19)

APOCALYPSE UPDATE

They arrested Perry Mason.

(Thanks to funny man)

Posted by Dave on January 16, 2017 at 10:34 AM
Permalink | Comments (12)

AUSTRALIA: LAND OF NATURAL WEIRDNESS

Mysterious desert shrimp surfaces after deluge

(Thanks to The Perts)

Posted by Dave on January 16, 2017 at 10:32 AM
Permalink | Comments (14)

January 15, 2017

IN THAT CASE, SIR, YOU ARE FREE TO GO

Naked man arrested after crashing car into house, punching trooper, telling cops he's Jesus

Amazing Fact: Not Florida!

Autoplay.

(Thanks to Al Barkafski)

Posted by Dave on January 15, 2017 at 02:43 PM
Permalink | Comments (13)

GUYS IN ACTION

Man ends up setting his armpit on fire to impress his friends

(Thanks to Ross Couples)

Posted by Dave on January 15, 2017 at 10:24 AM
Permalink | Comments (14)

YUM II

'Broquets' are flower arrangements made of beef jerky, because men are too manly for plants.

(Thanks to Janice Gelb)

Posted by Dave on January 15, 2017 at 10:20 AM
Permalink | Comments (8)

YUM

Thanks to the addition of heme, an iron-rich molecule contained in blood (which the company produces in bulk using fermented yeast), it is designed to look, smell, sizzle and taste like a beef burger.

(Thanks to Stan Ruth)

Posted by Dave on January 15, 2017 at 10:18 AM
Permalink | Comments (7)

January 14, 2017

INCREDIBLY, DRUGS APPEAR TO HAVE BEEN INVOLVED

Naked woman allegedly steals police truck, leads cops on hour-long chase

Also incredibly, this did not happen in Florida.

(Thanks to The Perts)

Posted by Dave on January 14, 2017 at 01:31 PM
Permalink | Comments (9)

CAN JOURNALISM SINK ANY LOWER?

We're thinking no.

(Thanks to Ross Couples)

Posted by Dave on January 14, 2017 at 01:28 PM
Permalink | Comments (9)

SHE HAD HER REASONS

Woman drives SUV into a T-Mobile in Palm Springs

Not California: Florida.

(Thanks to Nancy Gill)

Posted by Dave on January 14, 2017 at 01:24 PM
Permalink | Comments (7)

GUYS OF NATURE

Randy tortoise fitted with a pair of wheels after sex sessions wore out his legs

(Thanks to Ralph)

Posted by Dave on January 14, 2017 at 01:17 PM
Permalink | Comments (8)

THEY TASTE LIKE CHICKEN FEET

Chinese restaurant accused of serving ‘human feet’ to customers

(Thanks to Ross Couples)

Posted by Dave on January 14, 2017 at 01:09 PM
Permalink | Comments (16)

UH-OH

Dead Whale Washes Ashore at End of LaGuardia Airport Runway

Vice President Biden "was not the most notable arrival of the day."

Autoplay.

(Thanks to Jay Brandes)

Posted by Dave on January 14, 2017 at 01:08 PM
Permalink | Comments (11)

January 13, 2017

THE MESSAGE IS: DON'T HAVE UNPROTECTED SEX WITH TERMITES

Giant Condoms On Termite Mounds Spread the Be Safe Message

(Thanks to Ross Couples)

Posted by Dave on January 13, 2017 at 01:51 PM
Permalink | Comments (9)

WHILE THE MEDIA BLATHER ABOUT THE RUSSIANS

Gang of fat squirrels terrorise children at park and steal their food

(Thanks to Ross Couples)

Posted by Dave on January 13, 2017 at 01:49 PM
Permalink | Comments (6)

KINKY KANADA

The Alberta Motor Association comes out in favor of the zipper merge.

(Thanks to The Perts)

Posted by Dave on January 13, 2017 at 01:45 PM
Permalink | Comments (11)

WE'LL GET RIGHT ON IT

Niagara Falls resident called police to 'stop the wind from blowing'

(Thanks to Ralph)

Posted by Dave on January 13, 2017 at 06:30 AM
Permalink | Comments (18)

'MOST LIKELY, THE SNAKE WAS SURPRISED'

Tarantula Found Eating a Snake in Wild for First Time

(Thanks to Steve Thompson)

Posted by Dave on January 13, 2017 at 06:26 AM
Permalink | Comments (10)

WE SAW THEM OPEN FOR THE CLASH

Scientists Create Mind-Controlled Hunting Zombie Mice

(Thanks to DaninDallas and Gordon Anderson)

Posted by Dave on January 13, 2017 at 06:14 AM
Permalink | Comments (10)

CSI: SIOUX FALLS

Somebody was using lubricant to try and wiggle back into their leather clothing after trying on a few other clothing items, said Sioux Falls Police Sgt. Ryan Flogstad.

(Thanks to Glenda Mostek)

Posted by Dave on January 13, 2017 at 06:09 AM
Permalink | Comments (7)

BOLO

Residents and walkers in Western Australia are being asked to keep an eye out for a rogue quokka that escaped from Rottnest Island on a rubbish barge.

(Thanks to John Mayson)

Posted by Dave on January 13, 2017 at 06:05 AM
Permalink | Comments (12)

WHAT'S THAT SMELL?

Police find man hiding in corral of manure after alleged attempted robbery

Rhinos Use Poop Piles Like a Social Network

(Thanks to Ross Couples)

Posted by Dave on January 13, 2017 at 06:03 AM
Permalink | Comments (6)

APPARENTLY 2017 IS DETERMINED TO OUTDO 2016

Vampire bats in Brazil are feeding on humans

(Thanks to The Perts)

Posted by Dave on January 13, 2017 at 06:00 AM
Permalink | Comments (4)

IMAGINE THE SHRINKAGE

Man In Kilt Falls In Icy Water

(Thanks to Mitch Seibert)

Posted by Dave on January 13, 2017 at 05:58 AM
Permalink | Comments (5)

January 12, 2017

ANOTHER WAY TO MAKE GOLF INTERESTING

Suit: Golfer Run Over By Toilet At Golf Course

(Thanks to Ross Couples)

Posted by Dave on January 12, 2017 at 02:03 PM
Permalink | Comments (17)

'SAN ESCOBAR'

Poland's foreign minister mocked after naming non-existent country as supporter in bid for UN Security Council seat

(Thanks to Ross Couples)

Posted by Dave on January 12, 2017 at 01:08 PM
Permalink | Comments (16)

 
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