September 12, 2018

THEY SURVEYED PEOPLE ON THEIR LAND LINES

Taco Bell voted best... best Mexican... no, no, we can't say it!

(Thanks to Mark Schlesinger and Jon Harris)

Posted by judi on September 12, 2018 at 03:52 PM
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NEED CASH FOR THE HURRICANE?

He says Hunt pulled out a gun and fired into the floor before demanding he be paid in cash.

(Thanks to Not My Usual Alias)

Posted by judi on September 12, 2018 at 02:58 PM
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September 11, 2018

9/11

On this day of hurricane preparation for the Carolinas, and memorials about 9/11, we will just share this and send our most positive thoughts out in the world for all who need them.
Tell your loved ones that you love them.

Posted by judi on September 11, 2018 at 10:40 AM
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September 10, 2018

ALARMING

Here is your obligatory joke about the rats in Washington.

(Thanks to DaninDallas and funny man)

Posted by judi on September 10, 2018 at 04:17 PM
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THE WALK OF FAME

Rogue Chicken was here.

(Thanks to John Lobert, Ralph K. and Slim Chance)

Posted by judi on September 10, 2018 at 04:13 PM
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BEARS IN THE NEWS

In a hot tub.

(Thanks to Ralph K., Wolverine, and Al B.)

In a hammock.

(Thanks to Kevin S.)

In a garage.

(Thanks to Allen at Division)

In a river where they belong.

(Thanks to Jeff Meyerson)

Note: If these were posted before, sue fire me.

Posted by judi on September 10, 2018 at 01:05 PM
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WE SAW THEM OPEN FOR THE HOLLIES

The Nicoles

(Thanks to Roberto)

Posted by judi on September 10, 2018 at 12:55 PM
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September 09, 2018

A NEW LEAF?

Does this help?

https://www.rebeccahinsonpublishing.com/read-alouds/Emancipation.html

 

Posted by judi on September 9, 2018 at 01:03 PM
Permalink | Comments (4)

MORE OF THE BLOG

On Mitch Kaplan's new podcast.

Posted by judi on September 9, 2018 at 12:13 PM
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THE BLOG

...on reading, and on the Civil War.

(Something is amiss, so here is the link again. p.s. Can one fire oneself?)

​https://www.rebeccahinsonpublishing.com/read-alouds/Emancipation.html

Posted by judi on September 9, 2018 at 12:07 PM
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September 08, 2018

NICEVILLE POLICE: APTLY NAMED

Naked Florida man starts house fire while baking cookies on George Foreman grill
"
According to the offense report from the Police Department, the man showed no signs of understanding the danger he was in."

(Thanks to Allen at Division, Gary Schroder, and Jane Linderman)

Posted by judi on September 8, 2018 at 05:31 PM
Permalink | Comments (16)

September 07, 2018

RESISTANCE IS FUTILE

But hey, what color is Prince Charles' kettle, if you catch our drift?

(Thanks to Slim Chance)

Posted by judi on September 7, 2018 at 01:25 PM
Permalink | Comments (9)

PEOPLE ARE INSANE

Especially "insect enthusiasts."

(Thanks to DaninDallas, L. Raymond, Jon Harris, and Le Petomane)

Posted by judi on September 7, 2018 at 01:18 PM
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FINALLY SOME GOOD NEWS

Yes, Virginia, it IS a squirrel apocalypse.

(Thanks to dave e.)

Posted by judi on September 7, 2018 at 01:11 PM
Permalink | Comments (10)

"STAY OFFA MY LAWN"

Zap!

(Thanks to Jeff Meyerson, Glen Page, and Jane Linderman)

Posted by judi on September 7, 2018 at 01:01 PM
Permalink | Comments (16)

September 06, 2018

MEN: DO NOT READ THIS

It involves a stingray.

(Thanks to John Lobert and Le Petomane)

Posted by judi on September 6, 2018 at 09:42 AM
Permalink | Comments (18)

WHERE ELSE COULD THIS TECHNIQUE BE USED?

Dead ducks = slow down.

(Thanks to Ralph K.)

Posted by judi on September 6, 2018 at 09:28 AM
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September 05, 2018

IT WAS

...a dark and stormy night: the wind whistled like an old man with drugstore teeth trying to teach his grandkids to say, "She sells sea shells by the sea shore," causing the little shavers to wonder why Peepaw was suddenly talking like Daffy Duck, whether he'd just had a stroke, and if any of them was in the will. -- Mark Schweizer, Tryon NC

(Thanks to Jon Harris)

Posted by judi on September 5, 2018 at 11:55 AM
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WRONG

'They’ve shown some creativity, but it’ll be the bike that’s remembered.' 

(Thanks to John Lobert)

Posted by judi on September 5, 2018 at 11:29 AM
Permalink | Comments (11)

NOW THAT'S EFFICIENT

Bathroom kitchen? Or kitchen bathroom?

(Thanks to Jeff Kleinman and Le Petomane)

Posted by judi on September 5, 2018 at 11:00 AM
Permalink | Comments (20)

September 04, 2018

MORE BACK-TO-SCHOOL FUN

Alligator visiting.

(Thanks to elseabs)

Posted by judi on September 4, 2018 at 03:32 PM
Permalink | Comments (11)

SCHOOL DAZE

Toddlers welcomed back to school with "scantily-clad" pole dancer.

(Thanks to Jon Harris, Ranald Adams, and Commander McBragg) 

Posted by judi on September 4, 2018 at 02:52 PM
Permalink | Comments (14)

PIGS IN THE NEWS

"No charges were filed against Willie."

(Thanks to Jon Harris, Ron T., and Le Petomane)

Posted by judi on September 4, 2018 at 02:45 PM
Permalink | Comments (8)

September 03, 2018

COW CHAOS AT THE MCDONALD'S IN MOLD

We have nothing further.

(Thanks to Ralph K.)

Posted by judi on September 3, 2018 at 11:49 AM
Permalink | Comments (13)

"...UNLESS IT WAS SOME KIND OF MISTAKE"

Gee, ya think?

(Thanks to nursecindy)

Posted by judi on September 3, 2018 at 11:41 AM
Permalink | Comments (13)

BUTTONS YOU DON'T NEED TO PUSH

Happy Labor Day.

(Thanks to Fred Preller)

Posted by judi on September 3, 2018 at 11:38 AM
Permalink | Comments (14)

September 02, 2018

FISHY

Kuwait’s Ministry of Commerce has closed a fishmongers that was sticking googly eyes on fish to make them appear fresher than they were.

(Thanks to Janice Gelb)

Posted by judi on September 2, 2018 at 12:12 PM
Permalink | Comments (8)

FLORIDA IS NOT MESSING AROUND

Authorities say a Florida man has been arrested for being belligerent and giving his girlfriend a wet willy.

(Thanks to Jon Harris, Commander McBragg, Marcopohlo, and Ronald Adams)

Caifornia, on the other hand...

(Thanks to Jeff Meyerson)

Posted by judi on September 2, 2018 at 12:05 PM
Permalink | Comments (9)

JAPAN

Resistance is futile?

(Thanks to Mark Schlesinger and Michael Kelly)

Posted by judi on September 2, 2018 at 12:00 PM
Permalink | Comments (15)

September 01, 2018

FLORIDA

 

IMG_2213
We have Klingon (or Ferengi?) ducks.

Posted by judi on September 1, 2018 at 03:28 PM
Permalink | Comments (16)

WELL, IT WAS HER *FAVORITE* COW

A moo-ving proposal.

(Sorry.)

(Thanks to Ralph K. and funny man)

Posted by judi on September 1, 2018 at 03:22 PM
Permalink | Comments (11)

MISNOMER ALERT?

Check out this from Easyjet.

(Thanks to funny man and Mark Schlesinger)

Posted by judi on September 1, 2018 at 03:19 PM
Permalink | Comments (11)

August 31, 2018

TOTALLY FAKE NEWS, AS ANY MIAMI DRIVER WILL ATTEST

"Baltimore drivers are the worst"

(Thanks to Wolverine)

Posted by judi on August 31, 2018 at 05:13 PM
Permalink | Comments (7)

DUUUDE, GRANDMA

Snakes all up in her grill.

(Thanks to Ralph K. and Jeff Meyerson)

Posted by judi on August 31, 2018 at 05:10 PM
Permalink | Comments (8)

DUUUDE

“I make giant bongs,” he said. “They are my voice to make noise in the world.”

(Thanks to Le Petomane, Mark Schlesinger, and Bill Hudgins)

Posted by judi on August 31, 2018 at 12:08 PM
Permalink | Comments (15)

August 30, 2018

DUE TO OUR STRICT POLICY

We will not be posting about the Scunthorpe algorithm.

(Thanks to Peter Metrinko)

Posted by judi on August 30, 2018 at 02:14 PM
Permalink | Comments (10)

ROCK LOBSTER

Never forget, for the next 12 weeks.

(Thanks to Glen P. and Dave. E.)

Posted by judi on August 30, 2018 at 01:04 PM
Permalink | Comments (16)

DON'T OPEN THE DOOR!

The Lieberman family...spotted the monitor in their backyard a few days ago strolling about and flicking its tongue...

(Thanks to Michael Parry and our colleague Howard Cohen)

Posted by judi on August 30, 2018 at 12:44 PM
Permalink | Comments (11)

August 29, 2018

CAPTION CONTEST

IMG_2164 c

Posted by judi on August 29, 2018 at 12:07 PM
Permalink | Comments (47)

ALSO THE BOAT WAS HUGE

The Shakespeares told authorities alcohol was a factor in the crash.

(Thanks to funny man)

Posted by judi on August 29, 2018 at 11:47 AM
Permalink | Comments (14)

THE BEE VACUUMER

"Police said it was the biggest sting operation ever." 

(Thanks to Janice Gelb, jon harris, Art K., and Le Petomane for the quote.)

Posted by judi on August 29, 2018 at 10:51 AM
Permalink | Comments (9)

August 28, 2018

ONE CAN NEVER HAVE TOO MANY RATTLESNAKES

Ooops. Apparently, one can.

(Thanks to Sorcha, who adds, "Love will find a way.")

Posted by judi on August 28, 2018 at 01:27 PM
Permalink | Comments (11)

BE GRATEFUL YOU STILL HAVE YOUR LEMONS

Grateful. Get it?

(Thanks to funny man)

Posted by judi on August 28, 2018 at 12:22 PM
Permalink | Comments (10)

ATTENTION, FRENCH KAYAKERS

Be on the lookout.

(Thanks to Allen at Division, Le Petomane, Bill, Ralph, Dave, r and Mary)

Posted by judi on August 28, 2018 at 12:18 PM
Permalink | Comments (16)

BRIDEZILLA

...has nothing on this person.

(Thanks to the viral nature of the internet, Steve K. and Ron G.)

Posted by judi on August 28, 2018 at 10:01 AM
Permalink | Comments (23)

August 27, 2018

MOTHER NATURE

WHY is she punishing us?

(Thanks - ish - to Jim K.)

Posted by judi on August 27, 2018 at 05:20 PM
Permalink | Comments (12)

A MAN WEARING A BRA AND DOING WEIRD THINGS WITH PRODUCE

Arrested.

(Thanks to jon harris)

Posted by judi on August 27, 2018 at 10:07 AM
Permalink | Comments (19)

THE INTERNET

Something for everyone.

(Thanks to Le Petomane and DaninDallas, notably both men, and we are not asking any questions)

 

Posted by judi on August 27, 2018 at 10:00 AM
Permalink | Comments (16)

"WHAT ARE YOU IN FOR?"

Lemons.

(Thanks to funny man, Le Petomane, Not My Usual Alias, and Geoff. And a 2019 Dave Barry desk calendar to the commenter with the best explanation of WHY.)

Posted by judi on August 27, 2018 at 09:51 AM
Permalink | Comments (44)

August 25, 2018

YOU CAN'T ARGUE WITH SCIENCE

New research suggests that more money really does lead to a more satisfying life.

(Thanks to James F.)

Posted by judi on August 25, 2018 at 12:14 PM
Permalink | Comments (19)

 
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