September 29, 2014

HIGHER ED

Michigan college launches beer-making program

(Thanks to Andrew Mendez)

Posted by Dave on September 29, 2014 at 08:57 AM
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September 28, 2014

HE IS WELCOME TO HOARD OURS

Joseph Brucato, New York postal carrier, hoarded 1 tonne of mail

(Thanks to The Perts)

Posted by Dave on September 28, 2014 at 02:00 PM
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DON'T TRY THIS WITH MIAMI

Navy wants to conduct war games on Wash. coast

(Thanks to Craig Roberts)

Posted by Dave on September 28, 2014 at 01:54 PM
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DON'T EVEN ASK ABOUT THE 'SPECIAL SAUCE'

A Danish burger restaurant is raising customers' eyebrows - by selling sex toys alongside its food.

(Thanks to Jon Harris)

Posted by Dave on September 28, 2014 at 01:52 PM
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IF YOU LOOKED THAT GOOD, YOU'D BE HAPPY TOO

Colorado Man Appears Pretty Happy After Arrest

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(Thanks to Pirateboy)

 

Posted by Dave on September 28, 2014 at 01:33 PM
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IN THAT CASE, SIR, YOU ARE FREE TO GO

Man said he fired bullet into neighbor's home because it was his only way to unload gun

(Thanks to Will Dooley)

 

Posted by Dave on September 28, 2014 at 01:28 PM
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MIAMI VICE

When making Miami look bad made Miami look good.

Posted by Dave on September 28, 2014 at 11:28 AM
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September 27, 2014

BRILLIANT

An Omagh plumber tunnelled a hole from under his bed to the local pub 800 feet from his house over the course of 15 years, a court heard today....

Kerr explained how he spent the last five years heading to the pub via his tunnel at 11pm before returning at 1am, undetected by his deep sleeping wife

(Thanks to Steve Hooley)

Posted by Dave on September 27, 2014 at 08:30 AM
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DO NOT MESS WITH THEM

Woman stole bat to attack car thought to belong to ex-girlfriend

It was the wrong car.

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(Thanks to Jeff Meyerson and Bill Hudgins)

Posted by Dave on September 27, 2014 at 08:24 AM
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WHO SAYS ROMANCE IS DEAD?

Naked Couple Found Having "Intimate Relations" in Richmond District Dumpster

(Thanks to Unholy Slacker)

Posted by Dave on September 27, 2014 at 08:21 AM
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IN THAT CASE, MA'AM, YOU ARE FREE TO GO

Woman Breaks into Apartment, Puts on Victim's Underwear, Leaves Rosary Beads

(Thanks to Monique)

Posted by Dave on September 27, 2014 at 08:13 AM
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ATTENTION, NOBEL PRIZE JUDGES

Spreadable Beer

(Thanks to Jeff Meyerson)

Related: Beer may be good for your brain

(Thanks to Jon Harris)

Posted by Dave on September 27, 2014 at 08:08 AM
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WE KIND OF LIKE 'ELEVEN JINPING'

A newsreader of Doordarshan News has been sacked as she pronounced the name of Chinese President Xi Jinping as “Eleven Jinping” in a bulletin, mistaking “Xi” for the Roman numeral “XI.”

(Thanks to ligirl)

Posted by Dave on September 27, 2014 at 08:05 AM
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JESUS SIGHTINGS UPDATE

Now: A toilet floor.

(Thanks to Ralph)

Posted by Dave on September 27, 2014 at 08:01 AM
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September 26, 2014

UPDATE ON GROUNDHOGGATE

The Times is on it.

Posted by Dave on September 26, 2014 at 09:10 AM
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THANK YOU FOR SHARING

English-learning smartphone app teaches Japanese students to say “I just took a dump”

(Thanks to Unholy Slacker)

Posted by Dave on September 26, 2014 at 09:07 AM
Permalink | Comments (11)

DUDE

Man returns rental car with 139 lbs. of pot inside, gets arrested coming back for bags

(Thanks to Larry Martell)

Posted by Dave on September 26, 2014 at 09:06 AM
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FLATHEAD COUNTY: WHERE TERROR NEVER TAKES A HOLIDAY

11:59 a.m. Someone called from Columbia Falls to report that a brown and black bunny was in their front yard.

Also:

4:06 p.m. A Kalispell woman reported that she is not on drugs, despite what her ex-boyfriend says.

(Thanks to Ross Holley)

Posted by Dave on September 26, 2014 at 09:05 AM
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IT ATTEMPTED TO DANCE ON A CRUISER

Goat 'Charged with Disorderly Intoxication'

(Thanks to Maryann)

Posted by Dave on September 26, 2014 at 09:00 AM
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LIMBO TIME!

"...the best traffic jam I've ever been in."

54204fe9a1d73

(Thanks to maryann)

Posted by Dave on September 26, 2014 at 08:59 AM
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RELIGION UPDATE

The controversial Pastor Lesego Daniel of Rabboni Centre Ministries, infamous for making his congregation eat grass, has struck again, this time encouraging members of his church to drink petrol after he turned it into pineapple juice.

(Thanks to Phil McAvity)

Posted by Dave on September 26, 2014 at 08:50 AM
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FLORIDA PARKING REPORT

This space is taken.

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(Thanks to Bob Spalding)

Posted by Dave on September 26, 2014 at 08:44 AM
Permalink | Comments (6)

UNCLEAR ON THE CONCEPT

Redneck Christmas Parade canceled for being too 'trashy'

(Thanks to Jeff Meyerson)

Posted by Dave on September 26, 2014 at 08:39 AM
Permalink | Comments (6)

HOW HE GOT THE TURTLES TO PUT ON PANTS, WE'LL NEVER KNOW

Man tried to smuggle 51 turtles in pants across border

(Thanks to Nelson from Michigan, Mac Alister and Allen at Division)

Posted by Dave on September 26, 2014 at 08:37 AM
Permalink | Comments (10)

SUDDENLY SHE'S MUCH MORE POPULAR WITH THE KIDS

Grandmother who once despised profanity can’t stop swearing following a stroke

(Thanks to Focalpoint)

Posted by Dave on September 26, 2014 at 08:34 AM
Permalink | Comments (5)

FRANCE ON HIGH ALERT

Washington agency tests 'salmon cannon'

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The salmon is like, "No, that's OK, I'll just spawn right here."

(Thanks to Craig Roberts)

Posted by Dave on September 26, 2014 at 08:31 AM
Permalink | Comments (10)

September 25, 2014

THE INTERNET:

It knows everything.

Posted by Dave on September 25, 2014 at 04:16 PM
Permalink | Comments (13)

DINING OUT IN GRAND FORKS

A salad to remember at Applebee’s

(Thanks to Jon Harris)

To cap off your dining experience, you can check out Lift Station No. 16.

Posted by Dave on September 25, 2014 at 02:10 PM
Permalink | Comments (21)

AW

Donkeys reunited at Polish zoo after sex scandal

(Thanks to Rich Steurer)

Posted by Dave on September 25, 2014 at 02:05 PM
Permalink | Comments (7)

CSI: MEMPHIS

4 officers off the job following portable toilet tipping incident

(Thanks to Bill)

Posted by Dave on September 25, 2014 at 02:04 PM
Permalink | Comments (5)

GROUNDHOGGATE!

Zoo in coverup after groundhog dropped by de Blasio dies

(Thanks to Jeff Meyerson)

Posted by Dave on September 25, 2014 at 01:48 PM
Permalink | Comments (8)

SUSHI LOVERS:

Do not read this.

(Thanks to Allen at Division)

Posted by Dave on September 25, 2014 at 01:46 PM
Permalink | Comments (7)

AT LAST, SOME GOOD NEWS FOR THIS TROUBLED PLANET

Justin Bieber recruits David Hasselhoff for new music video

(Thanks to Jeff Meyerson)

Posted by Dave on September 25, 2014 at 01:44 PM
Permalink | Comments (8)

WHAT'S THAT SMELL?

An employee of an Idaho trucking company abandoned a trailer load of frozen chicken at a western Montana truck stop after the company reportedly refused a ransom demand.

(Thanks to Craig Roberts)

Posted by Dave on September 25, 2014 at 01:43 PM
Permalink | Comments (6)

PEOPLE OF SAN LUIS OBISPO:

Come to my show! I will be naked. Unless you see that as a deterrent.

Posted by Dave on September 25, 2014 at 01:36 PM
Permalink | Comments (7)

September 24, 2014

HEY, BLOGGERS OF THE TRIBE:

L'shanah tovah.

Posted by Dave on September 24, 2014 at 07:09 PM
Permalink | Comments (11)

MEN: STOP READING NOW.

Dog walker shot in scrotum by neighbour in drive-by shooting

Posted by Dave on September 24, 2014 at 04:12 PM
Permalink | Comments (14)

MAKE UP YOUR DAMN MINDS

Should Pluto be a planet again? Panel votes to reinstate ninth world of the solar system in unofficial debate

(Thanks to Ross Holley)

Posted by Dave on September 24, 2014 at 03:18 PM
Permalink | Comments (18)

IT WAS RELEASED AFTER PRODUCING A VALID FLORIDA LICENSE

Ephrata man injured after scooter strikes skunk

(Thanks to David)

Posted by Dave on September 24, 2014 at 03:16 PM
Permalink | Comments (5)

OUR STRICT POLICY

...would never allow us to link to this.

(Thanks to Moe)

Posted by Dave on September 24, 2014 at 03:11 PM
Permalink | Comments (8)

NAME THAT STATE

Mother drives with 5-month-old in trunk to avoid being cited for not having car seat

(Thanks to Jeff Meyerson)

Posted by Dave on September 24, 2014 at 03:09 PM
Permalink | Comments (9)

OINK, BURP, MOO

A Rampaging Australian Pig Drank 18 Beers And Got In A Fight With A Cow

(Thanks to Claire Martin, who says "Australian pigs are Australian.")

Posted by Dave on September 24, 2014 at 10:23 AM
Permalink | Comments (13)

'MANAGING THE SCENT FROM THE TOILET CAN ALSO BE AN ISSUE'

Professor moves into recycling bin in search of simpler life

"Simpler" is one word for it.

(Thanks to funny man)

Posted by Dave on September 24, 2014 at 09:26 AM
Permalink | Comments (9)

SPORTS REPORT

Ashley Young still doesn't know if a bird pooped on his mouth or not

This has been the Sports Report.

(Thanks to Unholy Slacker)

Posted by Dave on September 24, 2014 at 09:24 AM
Permalink | Comments (4)

WHAT'S THAT SMELL?

‘Fart Metal’ Is Here: Decrepit Birth Drummer Creates Metal Song With Only His Own Flatulence For Vocals

(Thanks to Unholy Slacker)

Posted by Dave on September 24, 2014 at 09:20 AM
Permalink | Comments (12)

SUAVE

Driver hands officer a joint instead of license

(Thanks to Marie)

Posted by Dave on September 24, 2014 at 09:14 AM
Permalink | Comments (8)

HIGHER ED

Ohio college president backs skunk safety

(Thanks to PirateBoy)

Posted by Dave on September 24, 2014 at 09:13 AM
Permalink | Comments (8)

TRY THE LO MEIN, DUDE

Chinese restaurant admits to selling 'opium-laced noodles'

(Thanks to Focalpoint, John Gregg and coscolo)

Posted by Dave on September 24, 2014 at 09:04 AM
Permalink | Comments (7)

WHERE THE *HELL* IS THE CONSUMER PRODUCT SAFETY COMMISSION?

Adult film star Missy Martinez says a Hitachi Magic Wand vibrator shot off sparks inches from her genitals while she was using it during a porn film shoot.

(Thanks to AmoebaStampede)

Posted by Dave on September 24, 2014 at 09:03 AM
Permalink | Comments (13)

TOTALLY JUSTIFIED

Two suspects were arrested in connection with a BB gun shooting at the  McDonald's restaurant in Anderson.  Police said they were disgruntled because ketchup was not included in their order.

(Thanks to Mike)

Posted by Dave on September 24, 2014 at 09:01 AM
Permalink | Comments (9)

 
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