August 22, 2016

YOUR FINAL (WE HOPE) OLYMPICS UPDATE

Mongolian wrestling coaches strip in protest of loss

(Thanks to oneblankspace)

Posted by Dave on August 22, 2016 at 06:14 AM
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August 21, 2016

WE AGREE WITH BOTH OF THEM

Two Chinese women collapse in street after arguing non-stop for eight hours

(Thanks to John Mayson)

Posted by Dave on August 21, 2016 at 03:54 PM
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SYMBOLISM

US monuments are getting covered in slime, and no one knows how to stop it

(Thanks to Le Petomane)

Posted by Dave on August 21, 2016 at 03:49 PM
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THIS IS PRECISELY WHY WE HAVE 911

Teen girl calls 911 after parents ‘forced her’ to vacation with them

(Thanks to Ralph)

Posted by Dave on August 21, 2016 at 10:41 AM
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YOU WIN

Bet you never knew you could do this with a courgette

(Thanks to Ralph)

Posted by Dave on August 21, 2016 at 10:37 AM
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WHY THE HELL NOT?

Is Florida About to Be Swamped With Capybara?

(Thanks to Matt Filar)

Posted by Dave on August 21, 2016 at 10:36 AM
Permalink | Comments (11)

THEY WON'T GET FAR WITHOUT PANCAKES

Thieves steal $150,000 worth of maple syrup

(Thanks to Rick Day)

Posted by Dave on August 21, 2016 at 10:21 AM
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BRILLIANT

Travellers at Moscow's Sheremetyevo international airport can now buy a model Kalashnikov assault rifle before they catch their flight.

(Thanks to B'game, who asks "What could possibly go wrong?")

Posted by Dave on August 21, 2016 at 10:11 AM
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A FLORIDA LICENSE IS ON THE WAY

A driver taking an SUV for a spin struck four cars and flipped the vehicle on its side at a dealership in Ballston, Virginia.

(Thanks to Peter Metrinko)

Note that this blog sees nothing amusing about the name of the writer.

Posted by Dave on August 21, 2016 at 10:09 AM
Permalink | Comments (11)

THIS TURNS OUT TO BE ILLEGAL

After being discharged from an Ohio hospital and missing the last bus home, a woman stole an ambulance and drove it to her residence, according to police who nabbed the suspect last night following a brief, low-speed chase.

(Thanks to Dave D)

Posted by Dave on August 21, 2016 at 10:05 AM
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'I THOUGHT THAT THAT WAS SOMETHING THAT HE SHOULD PROBABLY NOT REALLY DO'

Brooklyn man throws eggs at traffic agents after his illegally parked Lexus was ticketed

(Thanks to Jeff Meyerson)

Posted by Dave on August 21, 2016 at 10:00 AM
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August 20, 2016

CANADA: A NATION ON THE BRINK OF TOTAL COLLAPSE

Parasitic wasps to be released in the Ottawa region over next two days

(Thanks to The Perts)

Posted by Dave on August 20, 2016 at 10:01 AM
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I LEFT TOO SOON

On a stunning beach in Rio de Janeiro a group of brave souls have stripped the Olympic Games right back to basics as they pay tribute to the ancient Greeks by staging their own games - in the nude.

(Thanks to Jeff Meyerson)

Posted by Dave on August 20, 2016 at 09:58 AM
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IT'S ABOUT DAMN TIME

Soon you’ll be able to stay in the world’s first beer themed hotel

(Thanks to Jeff Meyerson)

Posted by Dave on August 20, 2016 at 09:56 AM
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YOU KNOW WHO'S BEHIND THIS

Aggressive seagull spurs supermarket evacuation

(Thanks to Ralph)

We saw Aggressive Seagull open for Giant Poop Explosions.

Posted by Dave on August 20, 2016 at 09:50 AM
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WHAT'S THAT SMELL?

Giant Poop Explosions Cause Crappy Commute In Russia

(Thanks to Ralph)

We saw Giant Poop Explosions open for the Who.

Posted by Dave on August 20, 2016 at 09:48 AM
Permalink | Comments (5)

STAY OFF HIS LAWN

Armed fugitive, disguised in 'realistic' old man mask, arrested on Cape Cod

(Thanks to annfarr)

Posted by Dave on August 20, 2016 at 09:45 AM
Permalink | Comments (4)

WE NEED STRICTER CONTROLS ON ALL OF THESE ITEMS

Pa. man armed with rotten pizza, chain and goat statue attacks police

(Thanks to Le Petomane, Chris Elzi and Roberto)

Posted by Dave on August 20, 2016 at 09:41 AM
Permalink | Comments (3)

August 19, 2016

AND THE SO-CALLED 'UNITED NATIONS' DOES NOTHING

Meet the mufgel, the muffin-bagel mashup from the Brooklyn baker behind the rainbow bagel craze

(Thanks to Jeff Meyerson)

Posted by Dave on August 19, 2016 at 04:26 PM
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MEANWHILE IN SPORTS

Hilarious moment flustered BBC Olympics presenter Dan Walker is interrupted by couple HAVING SEX on Rio beach behind him

(Thanks to Stan Ruth, who says "You may have left Rio too soon.")

I walked past this presenter several times, but, tragically, not when this was happening.

Posted by Dave on August 19, 2016 at 04:22 PM
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INCREDIBLY, ALCOHOL APPEARS TO HAVE BEEN INVOLVED

No jail for woman who decapitated snakes with scissors and ate heads

(Thanks to Patty Villanova)

Posted by Dave on August 19, 2016 at 04:19 PM
Permalink | Comments (2)

FYI

Map reveals average size of erect penises around the world

(Thanks to Le Petomane, Al Barkafski and Dave D, who says "Recount!")

Posted by Dave on August 19, 2016 at 04:17 PM
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UNTIL THE PERSON IN THE NEXT CUBICLE STAPLES YOUR HAND

Knuckle-Cracking Is Good For You, According To New Study

(Thanks to Al Barkafski)

Posted by Dave on August 19, 2016 at 04:11 PM
Permalink | Comments (2)

NAH

It's time to have a conversation about flatulent cows.

(Thanks to Al Barkafski)

Posted by Dave on August 19, 2016 at 09:54 AM
Permalink | Comments (14)

FUN GAL

Woman accused of 'drop-kicking' cake, slapping ice cream clerk over flavor

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(Thanks to Judy B. and Geoff)

Posted by Dave on August 19, 2016 at 09:51 AM
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MEANWHILE IN THE MOST DIGNIFIED PRESIDENTIAL ELECTION EVER

Disturbing statue of nude Donald Trump with tiny genitals removed from Union Square

(Thanks to many people)

Posted by Dave on August 19, 2016 at 09:49 AM
Permalink | Comments (9)

AFTER WHICH THE ASSEMBLY DECIDED BY A 5-4 VOTE NOT TO SACRIFICE A CHILD

Satanic Temple invocation opens Kenai Peninsula Borough Assembly meeting

(Thanks to Mark Buckley)

Posted by Dave on August 19, 2016 at 09:47 AM
Permalink | Comments (4)

August 18, 2016

GET THAT NOBEL PRIZE READY

A Paris Ad Agency Made a Virtual-Reality Nose Mask That Emits a Fart Smell

Posted by Dave on August 18, 2016 at 06:10 PM
Permalink | Comments (11)

RYAN LOCHTE UPDATE

Naked man floating down Susquehanna River asked for a towel: Police

(Thanks to Allen at Division)

Posted by Dave on August 18, 2016 at 01:49 PM
Permalink | Comments (6)

ALTHOUGH SHE CAN'T REMEMBER MUCH OF IT

102-year-old woman credits beer for her long life

(Thanks to Barry Nester, Al Barkafski and Le Petomane)

Posted by Dave on August 18, 2016 at 01:46 PM
Permalink | Comments (3)

NEXT STEP: LUTEFISK

Norwegians facing jail for throwing stones at Russian border

(Thanks to Steve Thompson, who says "Take us to DefCon 4.")

Posted by Dave on August 18, 2016 at 01:43 PM
Permalink | Comments (5)

THEY WERE RELEASED AFTER THE HORSE PRODUCED A VALID FLORIDA DRIVER'S LICENSE

Amish buggy driver arrested on suspicion of DUI; 4 passengers also cited

(Thanks to Woozy Barnes)

Posted by Dave on August 18, 2016 at 01:40 PM
Permalink | Comments (6)

WHAT COULD POSSIBLY ETC?

AMAZON LAUNCHES ONE-HOUR ALCOHOL DELIVERY IN SELECT CITIES

(Thanks to tunny man)

Posted by Dave on August 18, 2016 at 01:39 PM
Permalink | Comments (2)

'WHERE IS THAT FROM?'

Pork roast falls out of 'heavily intoxicated' man's pants

(Thanks to Ralph)

Posted by Dave on August 18, 2016 at 01:36 PM
Permalink | Comments (6)

ALWAYS A SHREWD LEGAL STRATEGY

Madison police say a suspected drunken driver disobeyed an order to get out of her car and instead cracked open a beer into front of the officer who stopped her.

(Thanks to Bill Hudgins)

Posted by Dave on August 18, 2016 at 01:32 PM
Permalink | Comments (3)

NEBRASKAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAA

Omaha dad finds pot brownies, eats 4 of them, says mean things to cat

(Thanks to Jen E., John from Maryland, Geoff, Casey J, William Turner, Peter, Chris Knight and Rick Day)

Posted by Dave on August 18, 2016 at 01:31 PM
Permalink | Comments (5)

A JUNIOR FLORIDA LICENSE IS ON THE WAY

Toddler put mother's car in drive, hits police car

(Thanks to Another Ralph)

Autoplay.

Posted by Dave on August 18, 2016 at 01:28 PM
Permalink | Comments (5)

IT'S AN ATTRACTIVE COLOR

Ohio Man, 35, Tried To Have Sex With A Red Van

(Thanks to Dave D, Woozy Barnes and Le Petomane)

Posted by Dave on August 18, 2016 at 01:26 PM
Permalink | Comments (10)

August 17, 2016

SCIENCE

How Big Is A Fart?

(Thanks to Chris Knight)

Posted by Dave on August 17, 2016 at 03:39 PM
Permalink | Comments (11)

HELP IS ON THE WAY

8e4f617b-b2f8-4862-b0ad-cb24d2897b99

(Thanks to Susie)

Posted by Dave on August 17, 2016 at 03:36 PM
Permalink | Comments (8)

JUI

Drunk knight in armour detained in Stockholm

(Thanks to Allen at Division)

Posted by Dave on August 17, 2016 at 03:32 PM
Permalink | Comments (6)

'THE MAN WIELDED THE MEAT'

With his son nearby, the man smacked the BMW with a nearly foot-long sausage, denting the vehicle.

(Thanks to Ralph, Howard from Broward and Bill Hudgins)

Posted by Dave on August 17, 2016 at 03:25 PM
Permalink | Comments (8)

A REPORT FROM GRAND FORKS, NORTH DAKOTA

Dear Dave Barry,

I just thought that you would muse at the fact that the "Dave Barry Lift Station No. 16," which is a few blocks from where I live, is a Pokemon Go "gym," and as a result, has become a local gathering place for children of all ages. I figured you would appreciate that.

Best regards,

Robert

There is no greater honor.

Posted by Dave on August 17, 2016 at 03:23 PM
Permalink | Comments (6)

BEST. STATE. EVER. BOOK. TOUR.

BestStateEver-tour-final (1)

Posted by judi on August 17, 2016 at 11:01 AM
Permalink | Comments (19)

August 16, 2016

THIS HAPPENS FAR TOO OFTEN

Sex pigs halt traffic after laser attack on Pokémon teens

Posted by Dave on August 16, 2016 at 05:38 PM
Permalink | Comments (15)

SALVATION AT THE RIO AIRPORT


20160816_145028.jpg

Posted by MiamiHerald on August 16, 2016 at 03:53 PM
Permalink | Comments (28)

August 15, 2016

THE FINAL UPDATE FROM RIO

From The Blog, that is; we assume other people will be sending updates on actual, like, facts and stuff.

Posted by judi on August 15, 2016 at 01:48 PM
Permalink | Comments (22)

August 14, 2016

UPDATE FROM RIO

Dong Dong, etc.

Posted by judi on August 14, 2016 at 02:42 PM
Permalink | Comments (13)

WE SAW THEM OPEN FOR STRAWBERRY ALARM CLOCK

Dangerous Triangular Flapjacks

(Thanks to Jeff Meyerson)

Posted by judi on August 14, 2016 at 10:57 AM
Permalink | Comments (15)

August 13, 2016

YET ANOTHER OLYMPIC COLUMN

...featuring beer.

Posted by Dave on August 13, 2016 at 05:50 PM
Permalink | Comments (13)

 
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