May 27, 2016

NEEDLESS TO SAY OUR STRICT POLICY

...prohibits us from linking to this OR this.

(Thanks to James Schapiro)

Posted by Dave on May 27, 2016 at 06:27 AM
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BECAUSE KEY WEST

Key West Police Find Owner of Illegally Parked Flintstones Car

(Thanks to Bobby Grawl and Ralph)

Posted by Dave on May 27, 2016 at 06:23 AM
Permalink | Comments (6)

BUT THEY'RE PLANNING TO UPGRADE TO VISTA

The U.S. is still using floppy disks to run its nuclear program

(Thanks to The Perts)

Posted by Dave on May 27, 2016 at 06:19 AM
Permalink | Comments (9)

WATERPROOF FLORIDA LICENSES ARE ON THE WAY

A police investigation is continuing here to determine how a Cadillac, with two grown men inside, ended up submerged in a swimming pool and needing to be rescued Wednesday afternoon.

(Thanks to Tom Kopac)

Posted by Dave on May 27, 2016 at 06:17 AM
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May 26, 2016

PRIORITIES

For world records, Indian man removes teeth and gets over 500 tattoos

(Thanks to Patty Villanova, Al Barkafski, Jeff Schneider and Le Petomane, who says "Some places, he wouldn't even get noticed.")

Posted by Dave on May 26, 2016 at 04:40 PM
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NORTH YORKSHIRE COUNTY COUNCILPERSON OF THE WEEK

Unfortunately, etc.

(Thanks to Jan in Grimsby)

Posted by Dave on May 26, 2016 at 04:36 PM
Permalink | Comments (8)

EMAILS THIS BLOG DID NOT FINISH READING

Hi Dave

Here’s an article you might like to publish:

Title: 3 Reasons Men Should Collect Model Cars

Posted by Dave on May 26, 2016 at 04:34 PM
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MUCH LIKE AN AMERICAN COLLEGE FOOTBALL GAME

Smugglers attempt to enter Saudi Arabia with 48,000 beer cans disguised as Pepsi

(Thanks to Le Petomane)

Posted by Dave on May 26, 2016 at 04:33 PM
Permalink | Comments (8)

FOOLS. IT WAS WAY TOO ATTRACTIVE TO BE ART.

Someone put glasses on the floor of a museum and people thought it was art

(Thanks to John Mayson)

Posted by Dave on May 26, 2016 at 04:26 PM
Permalink | Comments (6)

WE SAW AUDACIOUS BURRITO OPEN FOR THE UNRESTRAINED CHICKENS

Audacious burrito drug smuggling attempt fails spectacularly

(Thanks to Al Barkafski)

Posted by Dave on May 26, 2016 at 04:24 PM
Permalink | Comments (4)

WITNESSES SAID IT WAS ONLY 95

MAN ARRESTED FOR SPEEDING THROUGH SCHOOL ZONE, CLAIMS HE WAS DRIVING 115 MPH

(Thanks to Stan Ruth)

Posted by Dave on May 26, 2016 at 04:22 PM
Permalink | Comments (1)

'NOW HIRING CLASS OF 2016'

Strip club in Harrison enrages residents with sign

Speaking of class.

(Thanks to Al Barkafski)

Posted by Dave on May 26, 2016 at 04:16 PM
Permalink | Comments (5)

ALWAYS A SHREWD LEGAL MANEUVER

Worcester woman charged with tossing toilet-water-soaked sandwich at court officer

(Thanks to Jeff Meyerson)

Posted by Dave on May 26, 2016 at 04:14 PM
Permalink | Comments (3)

WHERE WE STAND (OR SIT)

Screen Shot 2016-05-26 at 10.48.26 AM

Posted by Dave on May 26, 2016 at 10:49 AM
Permalink | Comments (9)

BECAUSE OF THIS BLOG'S STRICT POLICY

...we are prohibited from linking to this.

(Thanks to Unholy Slacker)

Posted by Dave on May 26, 2016 at 06:37 AM
Permalink | Comments (10)

YOU KNOW WHO IS BEHIND THIS

A swarm of 100,000 bats has made residents of this town ‘prisoners in their own homes’

(Thanks to The Perts)

Posted by Dave on May 26, 2016 at 06:34 AM
Permalink | Comments (10)

WANT TO WORK OUT, DUDE?

A gym where people can get high onsite is opening in San Francisco

(Thanks to Le Petomane)

Posted by Dave on May 26, 2016 at 06:30 AM
Permalink | Comments (7)

FLORIDIANS IN ACTION

Woman attacks employee with selfie stick

Man on 'top secret mission', breaks into store to steal energy drink and a honey bun

(Thanks to Jeff Meyerson)

Posted by Dave on May 26, 2016 at 06:28 AM
Permalink | Comments (8)

MEANWHILE IN INTERNATIONAL AFFAIRS

American mails 'annoying' Canadian $5 bill to random stranger in N.W.T.

(Thanks to The Perts)

Posted by Dave on May 26, 2016 at 06:18 AM
Permalink | Comments (5)

BAA, DUDE

Warning sheep high on cannabis could cause havoc in Swansea Valley village

(Thanks to Ralph, Jon Harris, Jay Brandes, Patty Villanova and Steve Thompson, who says "I think I'd pay to see this.")

We saw Warning Sheep High On Cannabis open for the Dead.

Posted by Dave on May 26, 2016 at 06:14 AM
Permalink | Comments (12)

WHO SAYS ROMANCE IS DEAD?

Man 'has sex with DRAINPIPE'

(Thanks to Le Petomane)

Autoplay. (Heh.)

Posted by Dave on May 26, 2016 at 06:09 AM
Permalink | Comments (16)

May 25, 2016

THAT WILL SURELY WIN HER HEART

A woman who rejected a fellow motorist's flirtatious advances recorded the man hurling golf balls at her car while traveling more than 60 mph.

(Thanks to Bob Brogan)

Posted by Dave on May 25, 2016 at 12:21 PM
Permalink | Comments (10)

JUST A HEINEKEN FOR US, THANKS

Whale vomit beer could be the next big thing

(Thanks to DaninDallas)

Posted by Dave on May 25, 2016 at 12:16 PM
Permalink | Comments (12)

MEN: DO NOT CLICK ON THIS LINK, AND DEFINITELY DO NOT LOOK AT THE PICTURES

Toilet terror as python bites man's penis while he sits on the loo before bloody battle ensues

Key Victim Name We Are Not Amused By: Atthaporn Boonmakchuay

(Thanks to Colleen Clark, Allen at Division, Le Petomane and Jeff Meyerson)

Autoplay.

Posted by Dave on May 25, 2016 at 12:13 PM
Permalink | Comments (11)

'IT'S NEARLY IMPOSSIBLE TO IGNORE A GIANT WALKING VAGINA'

Brooklyn couple takes pictures of themselves in vagina costumes around New York City to raise funds for women’s reproductive health

(Thanks to Jeffrey Brown)

Posted by Dave on May 25, 2016 at 06:33 AM
Permalink | Comments (19)

'WHAT COULD POSSIBLY GO WRONG?'

China unveils elevated bus that drives over the TOP of other cars

(Thanks to Jeffrey Brown)

Posted by Dave on May 25, 2016 at 06:31 AM
Permalink | Comments (14)

CSI: GILA BEND

Honduran woman accused of punching a border agent's horse

(Thanks to Le Petomane, who says "It worked for Mongo.")

Posted by Dave on May 25, 2016 at 06:28 AM
Permalink | Comments (6)

MEANWHILE IN SPORTS

Combat Juggling

(Thanks to Cassie Silvola)

Posted by Dave on May 25, 2016 at 06:27 AM
Permalink | Comments (5)

ASSUMING YOU'RE A MALE BEETLE

Having more sex can give you a BIGGER penis, study reveals

(Thanks to Le Petomane, Patty Villanova and Geoff)

Posted by Dave on May 25, 2016 at 06:25 AM
Permalink | Comments (4)

NOBEL PRIZE ALERT

Jonathan Marcus figured out how to make deep fried water

(Thanks to Cassie Silvola)

Posted by Dave on May 25, 2016 at 06:23 AM
Permalink | Comments (3)

IS THERE ANYTHING IT CAN'T DO?

Dolphin echolocation is powered by SNOT

(Thanks to Patty Villanova)

Posted by Dave on May 25, 2016 at 06:21 AM
Permalink | Comments (5)

IT NEVER STOPS

Brazen NYC squirrel attacks innocent man

(Thanks to Rick Day)

Posted by Dave on May 25, 2016 at 06:18 AM
Permalink | Comments (5)

GUESS THE STATE

Woman shows video of herself buying cocaine to deputies

(Thanks to Jeff Meyerson)

Posted by Dave on May 25, 2016 at 06:17 AM
Permalink | Comments (5)

TOTALLY JUSTIFIED

St. Petersburg Police are trying to identify the man who smashed a glass quarters game with a sledgehammer after losing several times.

(Thanks to Jeff Meyerson)

Posted by Dave on May 25, 2016 at 06:15 AM
Permalink | Comments (9)

AND THE SO-CALLED 'UNITED NATIONS HUMAN RIGHTS COUNCIL' DOES NOTHING

Family of woman who inspired Swallows and Amazons character are furious that right-on BBC have changed her name from Titty to Tatty

(Thanks to Ralph)

Posted by Dave on May 25, 2016 at 06:13 AM
Permalink | Comments (5)

WRONG ON SO MANY LEVELS

Budweiser to debut non-alcoholic ‘Prohibition’ brew in Canada as it chases near-beer lovers

(Thanks to The Perts)

Posted by Dave on May 25, 2016 at 06:09 AM
Permalink | Comments (8)

REMINDER TO DOUGLAS ADAMS FANS:

Today is Towel Day.

(Thanks to The Perts)

We miss Douglas.

Posted by Dave on May 25, 2016 at 06:08 AM
Permalink | Comments (14)

CANADA: A NATION GRIPPED BY FEAR

2 capybaras on the loose in Toronto park

It's only a matter of time before the squirrels recruit them.

(Thanks to The Perts and Bob Brogan)

Posted by Dave on May 25, 2016 at 06:03 AM
Permalink | Comments (7)

CLEANUP IN AISLE TWO

A man high on nitrous oxide pulled down his pants and defecated in a grocery store aisle Monday night, Corvallis Police said.

(Thanks to Unholy Slacker)

Posted by Dave on May 25, 2016 at 05:59 AM
Permalink | Comments (6)

WE SAW THEM OPEN FOR THE DAVE CLARK FIVE

Medical experts warn of ‘dormant butt syndrome’

(Thanks to Unholy Slacker, Jeffrey Brown and Joanne Fineberg)

Posted by Dave on May 25, 2016 at 05:57 AM
Permalink | Comments (6)

May 24, 2016

GUYS

Domino’s pizza apologises after wrinkled human testicle is ‘found on pizza’

(Thanks to Joe in Japan)

Posted by Dave on May 24, 2016 at 02:08 PM
Permalink | Comments (21)

I DROPPED MY HOMEWORK

Children from remote Chinese village have to climb unsecured vine ladders on a vertical cliff between home and class

(Thanks to Michael Moyer, who says when he was a boy he had to climb the vine ladder in the SNOW.)

Posted by Dave on May 24, 2016 at 02:06 PM
Permalink | Comments (12)

WHY CAMPERS SHOULD ALWAYS CARRY EXTRA UNDERWEAR

Camper awakes to find lions licking water from her tent

(Thanks to Jon Harris)

Posted by Dave on May 24, 2016 at 02:02 PM
Permalink | Comments (5)

ANOTHER PILLAR OF OUR JUSTICE SYSTEM IS TOPPLED

Beer-battered fish defense fails in Wisconsin

(Thanks to Allen at Division)

Posted by Dave on May 24, 2016 at 01:52 PM
Permalink | Comments (8)

FLORIDA COURT REPORT

Unfortunately our strict policy prohibits us from presenting the Florida Court Report.

(Thanks to Allen at Division)

Posted by Dave on May 24, 2016 at 01:44 PM
Permalink | Comments (9)

ALWAYS CHECK YOUR BOOT FOR BEES

20,000 bees chase car for TWO DAYS after queen bee gets trapped in boot

(Thanks to Rick Day)

Posted by Dave on May 24, 2016 at 01:42 PM
Permalink | Comments (7)

THOSE TERRORIST BASTARDS

Falling toilets snarl traffic on 134, 170 and 101 freeways in San Fernando Valley

(Thanks to Le Patomane)

We saw Falling Toilets open for The B52s.

Posted by Dave on May 24, 2016 at 01:41 PM
Permalink | Comments (5)

FOLLOWED BY A FRIENDLY TASING

Police smile at 'Cops Suck' tattoo across man's knuckles

(Thanks to Le Petomane)

Posted by Dave on May 24, 2016 at 06:32 AM
Permalink | Comments (9)

OTHER THAN THAT IT WAS THE PERFECT CRIME

Burglar caught after golf cart lands in pond

Guess the state.

(Thanks to Jeff Meyerson)

Posted by Dave on May 24, 2016 at 06:29 AM
Permalink | Comments (7)

ON THEIR WAY TO FLORIDA, NO DOUBT

Amish teens clocked at 110 mph face alcohol charges

(Thanks to Jeff Schneider, who says he had no idea those horses were so fast)

Posted by Dave on May 24, 2016 at 06:28 AM
Permalink | Comments (16)

 
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