May 25, 2018

A FEEL-GOOD STORY

Sperm donor, 62, who has fathered 65 kids from the back of his van

(Thanks to DaninDallas)

Posted by Dave on May 25, 2018 at 06:22 AM
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THOSE KRAZY KORONERS

LaRoche’s notice of tort claim lists a series of allegations against supervisor DeGeus-Morris, including that she failed to adequately respond to sexual harassment claims against an unnamed Canyon County pathologist, required employees to work on her re-election campaign during work hours, and took unclaimed remains from the morgue to use as rose fertilizer.

(Thanks to Craig Roberts)

Posted by Dave on May 25, 2018 at 06:18 AM
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MORE THAN EVER?

In an interview with CNBC that has got the world wondering more than ever about pet balls...

(Thanks to Le Petomane)

Posted by Dave on May 25, 2018 at 06:13 AM
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GUYS IN ACTION

Homeowner trying to kill weeds ends up burning down garage

(Thanks to Jon Harris)

Posted by Dave on May 25, 2018 at 06:12 AM
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HE IS WELCOME TO PARK IN MIAMI

80-year-old man crashes car into seafood store in Niles, then walks a few doors down to get a haircut

(Thanks to Jay Brandes)

Posted by Dave on May 25, 2018 at 06:10 AM
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POLITICAL UPDATE FROM FLATHEAD COUNTY

2:53 a.m. A Kalispell man declared himself to be a “sovereign citizen.”

(Thanks to funny man)

Posted by Dave on May 25, 2018 at 06:09 AM
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THESE KIDS TODAY

Kylan Scheele, 18, admits to posting an ad on Craigslist on Friday that listed Truman High School for sale

(Thanks to funny man)

Posted by Dave on May 25, 2018 at 06:06 AM
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OH, LIGHTEN UP

Gym sign saying ‘Tired of being fat and ugly? Just be ugly’ under fire

(Thanks to Dad-O-Lot, Another Ralph and Le Petomane)

Posted by Dave on May 25, 2018 at 06:01 AM
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ART UPDATE

A crowdfunded 7.5-metre (25ft) fountain adorned with more than 220 wooden penises. Inside is a public toilet. When you flush, the penises start to squirt.

(Thanks to funny man)

Posted by Dave on May 25, 2018 at 06:00 AM
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IT GETS LONELY DOWN THERE

Mussels off the coast of Seattle test positive for opioids

(Thanks to MOTW and Jane Linderman)

Posted by Dave on May 25, 2018 at 05:56 AM
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May 24, 2018

NOBEL PRIZE ALERT

This is a video demonstration of a phone cradle spotted at a restaurant in China that swings your phone and tricks it into registering those swings as steps, apparently so patrons who work for companies that offer healthy insurance discounts for walking a certain amount of steps per day (typically 10,000 -- roughly 8km/5-miles, or about an hour and forty minutes of walking) can meet their quota "while dining, drinking, and smoking."

(Thanks to John Lobert)

Posted by Dave on May 24, 2018 at 02:22 PM
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WHAT SHED, OFFICER?

Maine police bust men dragging stolen shed down road

(Thanks to Bob Brogan)

Posted by Dave on May 24, 2018 at 02:15 PM
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THEY WON'T GET FAR WITHOUT CARGO PANTS

Authorities in Florida shared video of two thieves accused of stealing 3,396 quarters in a late night car wash burglary.

(Thanks to Bob Brogan)

Posted by Dave on May 24, 2018 at 02:14 PM
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WHAT DOES THIS BUTTON DO, DUDE?

Security troops on US nuclear missile base took LSD

(Thanks to Bill Hudgins, Rick Stevenson and Chris Elzi)

Posted by Dave on May 24, 2018 at 01:45 PM
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MEANWHILE IN THE CITY OF BROTHERLY LOVE

Video shows road rage suspect hitting man with sledgehammer

(Thanks to Al Barkafski and John Lobert)

Posted by Dave on May 24, 2018 at 01:42 PM
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NO

Is cow cuddling set to be the next big wellness trend?

(Thanks to Jim Kenaston)

Posted by Dave on May 24, 2018 at 06:09 AM
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A FLORIDA LICENSE IS ON THE WAY

Man smashed Anchorage DMV window because he wasn’t allowed in minutes after closing

(Thanks to Jane Linderman)

Posted by Dave on May 24, 2018 at 06:08 AM
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AN ALTERNATIVE TO LIFTING WEIGHTS

A snake catcher has started letting wild cobras bite him once a week, he says, to maintain his strength.

(Thanks to Emily, Leslie and w)

Posted by Dave on May 24, 2018 at 06:07 AM
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WHILE THE SO-CALLED 'UNITED NATIONS HUMAN RIGHTS COUNCIL' DOES NOTHING

Floridians Sue McDonald's Because They Had to Pick the Cheese Off Their Quarter Pounders

(Thanks to Ralph)

Posted by Dave on May 24, 2018 at 06:05 AM
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AND IN SPORTS:

...you don't want to know.

(Thanks to OldPhil)

Posted by Dave on May 24, 2018 at 06:00 AM
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OTHER THAN THAT, IT WAS A PERFECT HEIST

Largo man broke into jewelry store, cut himself on glass and bled all over everything, police say

(Thanks to James Flynn)

Posted by Dave on May 24, 2018 at 05:57 AM
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May 23, 2018

BULLETIN BULLETION BULLETIN

Froot Loops is adding a new flavor

(Thanks to Bill Carver)

Posted by Dave on May 23, 2018 at 02:53 PM
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SOMEBODY'S DEFINITELY GOING TO HELL

Authorities say a priest found two people having sex beneath a statue of the Virgin Mary at a Roman Catholic church in New Jersey.

(Thanks to John Lobert)

Posted by Dave on May 23, 2018 at 02:52 PM
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NO DOUBT ON ITS WAY TO FLORIDA

Self-driving car caught on camera running red light

(Thanks to John Lobert)

Posted by Dave on May 23, 2018 at 02:50 PM
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SO TO SPEAK

The group hoping to crush the Guinness Record for the world’s largest recorded orgy scrambled to find a new place to hold the event after the Las Vegas hotel they planned to host it pulled out.

(Thanks to John Lobert)

Posted by Dave on May 23, 2018 at 02:41 PM
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WAIT, WHAT?

Feds plan to wipe Gorilla Snot on Giant Mine

(Thanks to Jim Kenaston)

Posted by Dave on May 23, 2018 at 02:39 PM
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FLORIDAAAAAAAAAAAA

Broward Sheriff’s Deputy Stole DVDs, Toys From Walmart While In Uniform: Police

(Thanks to Jeff Meyerson)

Posted by Dave on May 23, 2018 at 02:37 PM
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HARD PASS

Why Cockroach Milk Is the New Health Obsession

(Thanks to DaninDallas)

Posted by Dave on May 23, 2018 at 02:34 PM
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WHOA

Battle in the sky: Bald eagle and fox

(Thanks to elseabs, who says "Scientists call it ‘kleptoparasitism;’ I call it eating my husband’s leftovers. I. AM. THE. EAGLE.")

Posted by Dave on May 23, 2018 at 02:28 PM
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HERE'S YOUR FEEL-GOOD STORY OF THE DAY

Alabama town terrorized by 'poop train' gets free Febreze samples

(Thanks to elseabs, Bill Carver and Hayseed Tom)

Posted by Dave on May 23, 2018 at 02:17 PM
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'EVERYTHING MUST GO'

The ‘King of the Commode’ seeks an heir to his thrones

(Thanks to Bill Hudgins)

Posted by Dave on May 23, 2018 at 02:08 PM
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WE'RE GONNA NEED MORE PILLOWCASES

Chicken feathers cover I-5 in Federal Way after truck rollover

(Thanks to B'game)

Posted by Dave on May 23, 2018 at 01:49 PM
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YES, THE BRITS *SOUND* MORE INTELLIGENT THAN WE DO, BUT...

Police believe the two men and two women sparked the blaze while attempting to wake up a friend by burning his feet using a lighter and an aerosol whilst drunk.

(Thanks to Barry Nester)

Posted by Dave on May 23, 2018 at 01:37 PM
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IT HAD ITS REASONS

The shooting of a man on Riverview Street Northwest took a surprising twist Sunday night when investigators concluded that the “assailant” was his Maytag oven.

(Thanks to Rick Day and Janice Gelb)

Posted by Dave on May 23, 2018 at 01:33 PM
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INCREDIBLY, NOT AUSTRALIA

3-foot snake slithers out of 'terrified' man's cereal box and into dishwasher

(Thanks to MOTW and Bob Brogan)

Posted by Dave on May 23, 2018 at 01:30 PM
Permalink | Comments (3)

May 22, 2018

WE ARE FALLING BEHIND

KFC Malaysia is now selling fried chicken flavour mac and cheese at BREAKFAST

(Thanks to Le Petomane)

Posted by Dave on May 22, 2018 at 03:06 PM
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'YOU HAVE TO WORK!'

Parents Take 30-Year-Old Son To Court To Evict Him From Their Home

(Thanks to Another Ralph and Jeff Meyerson)

Posted by Dave on May 22, 2018 at 03:05 PM
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IS THERE A PROBLEM, OFFICERS?

Mustang doing donuts blocks busy Florida bridge

(Thanks to Jon Harris)

Posted by Dave on May 22, 2018 at 03:02 PM
Permalink | Comments (8)

FLORIDA SPORTS UPDATE

Woman tried to start paper towel holder on fire in Tropicana Field bathroom

(Thanks to Jeff Meyerson)

Posted by Dave on May 22, 2018 at 03:00 PM
Permalink | Comments (7)

'FARTS. FARTS ARE OCCURRING.'

Dad on epic school trip to Science Museum shares tale of 'utter carnage'

(Thanks to John Lobert)

Posted by Dave on May 22, 2018 at 02:57 PM
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ALERT LEVEL: HIGHER THAN HIGH

Giant predatory worms invaded France, but scientists just noticed them

(Thanks to Chris Johnson)

Posted by Dave on May 22, 2018 at 10:29 AM
Permalink | Comments (18)

YOU KNOW THE ZOMBIES ALL HAVE VALID DRIVERS' LICENSES

The alert warned that more than 7,000 customers lost power "due to extreme zombie activity."

(Thanks to Slim Chance, Jon Harris and Hayseed Tom)

Posted by Dave on May 22, 2018 at 10:23 AM
Permalink | Comments (10)

REALLY?

Proud mom orders ‘Summa Cum Laude’ cake online. Publix censors it: Summa … Laude.

(Thanks to Jay Brandes and Bill Hudgins)

Posted by Dave on May 22, 2018 at 10:21 AM
Permalink | Comments (16)

IF YOUR DOG WANTS A TREAT, GIVE IT A TREAT

A Ft. Dodge man remained hospitalized Thursday after reportedly being shot by his dog.

Autoplay.

(Thanks to Rick Day)

Posted by Dave on May 22, 2018 at 10:15 AM
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HE LOOKS RESPONSIBLE ENOUGH

Florida man climbs atop playground equipment at Clearwater park, tells kids where babies come from

(Thanks to Rick Day, Bill Hudgins and James Flynn)

Posted by Dave on May 22, 2018 at 10:11 AM
Permalink | Comments (13)

CANADA: WHERE MEN ARE MEN

When Alexandra's Pizza in Sydney introduced their six-pound donair challenge earlier this year, many thought it was impossible to complete. That is, until Joel Hansen showed up.

(Thanks to The Perts)

Posted by Dave on May 22, 2018 at 10:07 AM
Permalink | Comments (8)

WHICH SEEMS TO DEFEAT THE PURPOSE OF BEING A ROBOT

Robots can now grow human organs

(Thanks to Le Petomane, who asks "What could possibly go wrong?")

Posted by Dave on May 22, 2018 at 10:05 AM
Permalink | Comments (6)

SHE ALSO, QUOTE, 'FLUNG A SLUSHY'

Woman threatens McDonald’s workers with gun over wait for fries

(Thanks to Matt Filar)

Posted by Dave on May 22, 2018 at 10:00 AM
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IT WAS ATTEMPTING TO TRANSFER FROM AMERICAN TO UNITED

A Rhesus macaque escaped its crate Monday at the San Antonio Airport

(Thanks to Stan Ruth, Alkali Bill and Laurie Ann)

Posted by Dave on May 22, 2018 at 09:57 AM
Permalink | Comments (10)

EXCITING NEW REASON TO USE THE U.S. POSTAL SERVICE, WHICH APPARENTLY STILL EXISTS

U.S. Postal Service announces first-ever scratch and sniff stamp with popsicle scent

(Thanks to Matt Filar)

Posted by Dave on May 22, 2018 at 09:44 AM
Permalink | Comments (13)

 
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