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October 09, 2018

THINGS THAT WILL MAKE YOU STAY INSIDE

An alligator on your doorstep

(Thanks to a whole slew of people who are not going out)

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Alligator FuFu hopping through the forest picking up the field mice and bopping them on the head.

Finding a huge alligator on your doorstep joins stepping on a rattlesnake as a constipation reliever.

Woman: [speaking through closed door] Yes?
Voice: (mumbling) Mrs. Arlsburgerhhh?
Woman: Who?
Voice: (mumbling) Mrs. Johannesburrrr?
Woman: Who is it?
Voice: [pause] Flowers.
Woman: Flowers for whom?
Voice: [long pause] Plumber, ma'am.
Woman: I don't need a plumber. You're that clever alligator, aren't you?
Voice: [pause] Candygram.

Woman: [speaking through closed door] Yes?
Voice: (mumbling) Mrs. Arlsburgerhhh?
Woman: Who?
Voice: (mumbling) Mrs. Johannesburrrr?
Woman: Who is it?
Voice: [pause] Flowers.
Woman: Flowers for whom?
Voice: [long pause] Plumber, ma'am.
Woman: I don't need a plumber. You're that clever alligator, aren't you?
Voice: [pause] Candygram.

Oops...

An hour later, a carelessly placed Amazon package was found on top of the gator.

That is aggressive debt collection.

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