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September 13, 2018

THE URANUS EXAMINER

One can only hope this is fake news.

(Thanks to Mark Schlesinger and Kevin M. Smith)

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Masthead slogan: "All the News That Fits Into Our News Hole"

Their high school football team has to be named The Klingons.

" Prober " would have been worse.

It appears there actually is a Uranus, Missouri. This site; "Things to do around Uranus is just scary."
https://uranusmissouri.com/things-around-uranus/

Anyone notice the name of the mayor? Hardman. I wonder if his election slogan was "A Hardman is good to find."

The town must also have a shortage of proctologists.

Don't they realize that the end justifies their means?

Key Quote:

"The the man they consider the "Mayor of Uranus", Louie Keen, is BACKing the new weekly newspaper to FILL THE VOID left BEHIND by the Waynesville Daily Guide."

(Emphasis mine)

Right, Le Pet - "There's a lot to do in and around Uranus."

A friend just sent me a picture of the billboard:

Uranus Fudge Factory - The Best Fudge is Found in Uranus!

NSA wants to explore the Dark Side of Uranus, I was told in school.

Does Medicare or Medicaid cover this?

Is Mayor Hardman ever going to have a fit. The Uranus High School just voted to name their sports teams the Asteroids.

I'm a native of Springfield, MO. There is indeed a Uranus Missouri. KYTV is the NBC affiliate in Springfield. My father was News Director there in the early to mid-60's, so I can vouch for it's veracity as a news source. The original owner of KYTV was a gentleman by the name of Lester Cox. He was well known as a philanthropist in the Springfield area, so much so that after his death, they named a local hospital after him: The Lester E Cox Medical Center.
A few years back Mr. Cox was posthumously involved in some actual fake news. There is a small town south of Springfield called Nixa. Each spring they have a festival called "Nixa sucker days" (believe me this is leading somewhere). People gather to catch and eat "suckers", which are a bottom feeding local fish related to carp. A few years back a local satire magazine ran a story which went viral nationally. The headline read: "Cox Medical Center to sponsor Nixa Festival, will be renamed Cox Sucker Days...."

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