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August 08, 2018

OH, SHUT UP

Wider Waistline Linked To Weaker Memory, Greater Cognitive Decline In Older Adults

(Thanks to Le Petomane)

POLICE CANINE UNITS ARE STYMIED

Man steals $300 worth of deodorant from grocery store

(Thanks to Snowman)

IN THAT CASE, MA'AM, YOU ARE FREE TO SPEED THROUGH STOP SIGNS WHILE IMPAIRED

Woman tells police she’s a ‘clean, thoroughbred, white girl’

Also: Cutshaw, 32, told the arresting officer she shouldn’t be jailed because she was a cheerleader, a dancer and a sorority girl who graduated from a “high accredited university.”

(Thanks to Bill Hudgins)

NOT US, IT DOESN'T

New Zealand's new attraction makes you a human slingshot

(Thanks to Rick Day)

'LAUGHTER ENSUED'

Berlin Airport evacuated after security staff mistake sex toy in a suitcase for a hand grenade

(Thanks to Michael Moyer)

LET'S GO, PEOPLE

Aug. 8 is National Sneak Some Zucchini Onto Your Neighbor's Porch Day

(Thanks to Allen at Division)

PRACTICAL!

This is a video of Youtuber The King Of Random demonstrating the robot arm flamethrower he built.

(Thanks to John Lobert)

DO NOT MESS WITH TEXAS WOMEN

Woman shoots masturbating bicyclist trying to break into her SE Houston home, police say

(Thanks to Bigfan)

BECAUSE YOU DON'T HAVE ENOUGH THINGS TO BE ALARMED ABOUT

Mount Everest is a 'fecal time bomb.'

(Thanks to Roberto, who thinks FTB opened for Blue Oyster Cult)

COWS IN ACTION

Herd helps corral suspected Florida car thief

(Thanks to Jane Linderman and Jon Harris)

BOLO

Police Hunt Suspect In Brazen South Carolina Corn Dog Theft

(Thanks to Ralph)

FORGET ABOUT ESPRESSO

Wake that ass up with the new caffeinated, watermelon booty oil.

(Thanks to Roberto)

FLORIDAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAA

Florida woman high on meth ran around naked in park because she believed giant spider was on her

She was released after both she and the imaginary spider produced valid Florida drivers' licenses.

(Thanks to DaninDallas)

SOUNDS RATIONAL

MAN REFUSES TO REMOVE NAZI FLAG AFTER CLAIMING NEIGHBOR HACKED HIS WI-FI

(Thanks to Rick Day)

WE'VE ATTENDED MORE THAN A FEW WEDDINGS INVOLVING DRUNK WASPS

Drunk wasps have Britain under SIEGE – ‘they will attack EVERYTHING'

(Thanks to Le Petomane, who says "Police are planning a sting operation")

 
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