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August 03, 2018

COLLEGE FOOTBALL

Few schools can make this claim.

Haverford football

IN THAT CASE, SIR...

The man accused of swiping a shark from a Texas aquarium says he did so because he was concerned about the sea creature's wellbeing.

(Thanks to Fred Preller)

WE DON'T WANT TO KNOW

Why Men Are Bleaching and Waxing Their Butts

(Thanks to John Gregg, who says "Not all of us.")

KLASSY!

Mother gets 'KMART' tattooed on her ankle because she's 'addicted' to visiting the discount retail giant

(Thanks to James Flynn)

CSI: BOISE

Dozens of goats were found roaming a Boise neighborhood Friday morning.

They belonged to "We Rent Goats." Really.

(Thanks to Woozy Barnes, who suspects the squirrels were behind this.)

 

THESE SINGLES TODAY

Does my sweaty T-shirt turn you on? At a pheromone party, singles try to match using only their noses

(Thanks to Mark Schlesinger and Allen at Division) 

THIS NEVER FAILS TO IMPRESS THE LADIES

Drunk whacked penis on women's car then did poo in street - as they sat and ate chips

(Thanks to Unholy Slacker)

HE SHOWED THEM

Yesterday, after consuming alcoholic beverages at a bar, a male drove to 12 Division in #Mississauga to prove to his friends that he was not impaired. Turns out he was. A 32 year-old male from Caledon has since been charged with impaired driving related offences.

(Thanks to The Perts)

'YOU ARE DRINKING THE ESSENCE OF PAULINE'

Vagina beer made with 'essence of hot underwear models' goes on sale for first time

(Thanks to Le Petomane, Andrew Mendez, John Lobert, Michael Parry, funny man, Stan Ruth, Al Barkafski, BobT and IronMouth)

PIECE OF CAKE

Asked about his lack of training as a pilot, Scott told Texarkana police that he didn't believe there was much more to the task than pushing buttons and pulling levers, according to a probable cause affidavit filed in the case.

(Thanks to Le Petomane and Mike Leone, who says "It gets better. Its a commercial jet, not some single engine Cessna where he might have had a chance of starting the engine.")

 
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