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July 31, 2018

ATTENTION, CERTAIN MEN OF THE BLOG (YOU KNOW WHO YOU ARE):

DUREX HAS ISSUED a recall of five batches of its condoms over concerns about the “burst pressure” of the products.

(Thanks to Greg Snow, who says "There goes my whole warm 'em up with weinerdog balloons routine.....")

HAVING SOLVED ALL OF ITS OTHER PROBLEMS

New Jersey May Declare an Official State Microbe

(Thanks to John Lobert, who says "I thought it would have been E. coli.")

YOU KNOW THE SPIDER WAS WORKING FOR THE SQUIRRELS

3 injured after rollover on Ashley St. in Granby caused by spider

(Thanks to Jay Brandes)

'QUICK-THINKING TINKLING'

Man puts out Southend Pier fire by peeing on it

(Thanks to Jim Perth and Jay Brandes)

FORTUNATELY THE BABY WAS NOT IN IT AT THE TIME

Shark kidnapped from Texas aquarium in baby's pram

(Thanks to Jay Brandes, Not My Usual Alias, Jane Linderman, Rick Day and funny man)

THE KEY WORD BEING 'TRIES'

Man tries robbing a Whataburger with a pair of tongs

(Thanks to Jane Linderman and funny man)

 
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