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June 14, 2018

SHE ALSO ALLEGEDLY PERFORMED 'VAMPIRE FACELIFTS'

'Dr. Drop It Like It's Hot' weight loss clinic owner accused of faking medical license

Guess the state.

(Thanks to James Flynn)

WE DON'T KNOW WHO IT BELONGS TO, BUT WE KNOW OF A GUY WHO COULD SERVE IT FOR BRUNCH

Human finger found in snapping turtle, Louisiana police want to know who it belongs to

(Thanks to Gary Schroeder)

'HE ASKED THE DOCTORS IF HE COULD KEEP IT AND THEY SAID YES'

Man has foot amputated after horrific accident - then serves it to his friends at brunch

(Thanks to Le Petomane, who says "If he served it with some fava beans and a nice chianti, I fail to see the problem.")

'GOOD JOB DEPUTY SCOTTEN'

Huge snake slithers out of Texas man's toilet. Deputy wrangles it with her bare hands

Lucky for the Bee County, Texas, man, Vielock was simply cleaning his bathroom, or as a Patch writer put it, "not using it in a way that would have given the blue indigo a tactical advantage."

(Thanks to Bobby Grawl)

WE SAW THEM OPEN FOR THE TROGGS

Five new species of snail-sucking snakes discovered

(Thanks to Jay Brandes)

CUBICLES OF LUST

A new study of 2,000 people found that 14 percent of those polled have actually had sex at their place of work.

(Thanks to coscolo)

WE'RE GONNA NEED MORE SHOT GLASSES

A collision between two tractor-trailers on Interstate 40 in central Arkansas caused at least one of them to catch fire and spilled Fireball whiskey across the highway

(Thanks to Janice Gelb)

THIS ALSO DOES NOT WORK WITH THE IRS

Golisano loses goose poop argument in Canandaigua Lake property tax challenge

(Thanks to Ralph)

FATHER'S DAY

Time to celebrate a special breed of dad: The soccer dad.

WHILE TRYING ON CLOTHES, HE 'RELIEVED HIMSELF IN A WATER BOTTLE HE WAS CARRYING'

Kicked-over bottle of urine at Bloomingdale mall touched off incident that led to 2 people being shot

(Thanks to Steve Heller)

UNCLEAR ON THE CONCEPT

Florida man arrested after asking cops to test his illegal drugs

(Thanks to Jane Linderman)

Related: Kentucky drug dealer mixes up his own number with cop's in a Snapchat message

(Thanks to Gary Schroeder)

Also Sort Of Related: A woman, who works as a stripper, told an officer that she hides pills in her vagina, according to the Palm Bay Police Department.

(Thanks to John Mayson)

 
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