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May 06, 2018

AND IN SPORTS

NHL tells Brad Marchand to stop licking opponents

(Thanks to al Barkafski)

'A WEE PARISH'

Medieval All Saints' church in the village of Ulting gets 1st bathroom in 868 years

(Thanks to The Perts)

OK THEN, AS LONG AS IT'S NOT ALLERGIES

Doctors thought it was allergies. But 'her brain was leaking out of her nose'

(Thanks to Kevin Smith)

SO THE BARTENDER SAYS....

Beaver tries to enter Waterloo, Ont. beer bar

(Thanks to Ralph)

BASICALLY WE HAVE NO FUNDAMENTAL RIGHTS LEFT

Woman cited after urine explodes in 7-Eleven microwave

(Thanks to elseab, Al Barkafski, Le Petomane, Mark Schlesinger, Unholy Slacker, Bill Hudgins, Janice Gelb, The Hayseed and Patricia Hall, who says "Whatever you do, don't buy yellow slurpees.")

PRIDE OF THE BADGER STATE

Wisconsin man downs his 30,000th Big Mac burger

(Thanks to Michael Parry, The Perts and Gary Schroeder, who asks "Would you like a pacemaker with that?")

YET IT REMAINS PERFECTLY LEGAL TO PLAY 'COPACABANA' ON THE RADIO

Woman banned from singing loudly because she ‘sounds like a drowning cat’

(Thanks to Ralph)

OTHER THAN THAT IT WAS A LOVELY AFFAIR

Bride's arrival at Brazilian wedding goes horribly wrong as her helicopter crashes and bursts into flames - but the ceremony goes ahead despite the burning wreckage

(Thanks to Patty Villanova and Fabian Marson)

YOU KNOW WHO GAVE THE ORDER

Fuel truck crashes into telephone pole after bird flies into driver's head

 
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