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May 03, 2018

DESPITE THE FACT THAT IT WAS A CONSENTING CAR

Kansas police use stun gun on man after he attempts sex with tailpipe of car

(Thanks to Bill Carver, Steven Pudlo, B'game and Chris Elzi)

HANGING IS TOO GOOD FOR HIM

Man in court for having potato peeler in public place

(Thanks to Allen at Division)

NOW DO ‘FRENCH’ FRIES

Sweden Officially Admits that Swedish Meatballs Are Actually Turkish

(Thanks to Matt Filar)

JUST A REGULAR GUY

New Jersey superintendent defecated on high school football field 'on a daily basis,' cops say

(Thanks to Le Petomane, Dana Sutton, Poker, Bill Carver, Steven Pudlo, DaninDallas and Alkali Bill)

ALL OF WHOM HAVE VALID FLORIDA DRIVERS' LICENSES

Price drops on haunted house for sale in Mineral Wells that comes with nine ghosts

(Thanks to Stan Ruth)

'THE BILL SEEMED TOO HIGH'

Business owner Marty Boyer accidentally paid the electric bill for lights on the Clay Wade Bailey Bridge for five months.

(Thanks to Noah Spicker)

UNSECURED LOAD OF THE WEEK SO FAR

Brinks truck drops thousands of dollars on Indiana highway

(Thanks to Le Petomane and Rick Day)

Related: AIRPORT CLEANER FINDS $325,000 OF GOLD BARS IN TRASH—AND HE COULD GET TO KEEP THEM

(Thanks to Rick Day)

APOCALYPSE UPDATE

Spider discovered that looks like an old man having a really good time

(Thanks to Ralph)

WANT A JOB, DUDE?

Desperate to hire, more businesses open door to pot smokers

(Thanks to Chris Johnson)

THIS COULD EXPLAIN WHY THEIR EYEBALLS BULGE

Wood frogs’ No. 1 option: Hold in pee all winter to survive

No word on their No. 2 option.

(Thanks to Ralph)

 
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