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April 01, 2018

WE HARDLY KNEW YE

Stolen chameleon found dead in shallow grave

(Thanks to Chris Johnson)

THEN WHAT ARE WE SUPPOSED TO DO WITH OUR SPARE PIRANHAS?

Piranha fish found in Chichester sewer as water company pleads 'only flush poo, paper and pee'

(Thanks to Roberto) 

Spare Piranhas is also not a bad NFARB.

‘IT’S A LEFTOVER BEAN’

Houston Got a Big Metal Bean and Now Chicago Is Furious

(Thanks to Ralph)

Leftover Bean (singular, not plural) is also a good rock-band name.

BECAUSE ORGANIC SPIDERS ARE NOT TERRIFYING ENOUGH

Terrifying robot SPIDER can roll up into a ball and somersault towards you

(Thanks to coscolo)

Is there a rock band named The Organic Spiders? And if not, why not?

SOUNDS HEALTHY!

Celebrate Easter with gigantic Peeps milkshake

(Thanks to Jeff Meyerson)

CSI: HUBER HEIGHTS

Ohio woman is clearly not sorry in her mugshot

(Thanks to Jane Linderman)

'SURE TO BRING LAUGHS AND JOY'

Toilet-paper earrings.

(Thanks to Peter Metrinko, who says "You're engaged to be married this summer, but you're having second thoughts. Want her to end the engagement?")

CAREER OUTLOOK:

It’s the worst time in history to be a clown.

(Thanks to Rob Simbeck and Stella Rondo, who says "Except in DC. There it's a job requirement.")

THEY'RE TRYING TO CAPTURE IT SO THEY CAN ISSUE IT A DRIVER'S LICENSE

Wild Monkey Has Been Hanging Around In North Miami Beach

(Thanks to Stella Rondo, Le Petomane and Al Barkafski)

SOON WE WILL HAVE NO CONSTITUTIONAL RIGHTS LEFT

Sleeping Man in Foodtown with Chicken Breast on his chest charged with DWI

(Thanks to Ralph)

Wait, he was driving a chicken breast?

FORGET ABOUT BITCOIN

Here's your ultimate investment opportunity.

(Thanks to The Perts)

YOU KNOW WHO ETC.

Woman injured after wild turkey flies into her windshield

(Thanks to Laurie Ann)

 
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