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March 08, 2018

WE SAW THEM OPEN FOR BON JOVI

Kayakers face terror on the river: ‘This is one renegade otter.’

(Thanks to Ralph)

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Tim the Tool Man to Jill: I thought your wedding ring says “I will never love an otter”
Jill: It says “I will never love another” Is that why you are always so strange at the zoo?

The Squirrels have now formed an alliance with otters along with the skunks. The squirrel apocalypse is nigh.

I remember when Renegade Otter used to open for the Captain & Tennille in the late 70s. It was pretty pleasing.

It was the first time her kayak had ever tipped over, plunging her into the cold water "because you can’t really fight and kayak at the same time."

Truer words have never been spoken. One of the first things they teach you in kayaking lessons is how to get a kayak to flip back up. It's remarkable how many times it works in practice. And doesn't work in real situations.

Rabid Otter Fighters would be a good name for a Foo Fighters cover band.

Mike Terrell, director of husbandry for the Florida Aquarium warned, ".. regardless of the animal .. if you see animals while you’re kayaking, give them their space (and) observe them from a distance."

Gee, Officer Mike, that's terribly helpful and all, but ya know the otter jumped onto her kayak and lunged at her. HE STARTED IT.

Pro tip: If you're going to get into a fight with a significant otter, get the rabies shots beforehand – fewer doses and a lot cheaper

And now there's probably a rabid alligator out there. Where will it end?

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