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March 02, 2018

FORGET ABOUT LASSIE

Here's the best dog ever.

(Thanks to Jeff Meyerson)

GUYS IN ACTION

Ring and scissors stuck on man's PENIS sawn off by doctors

Bloke needs SURGERY ‘after shoving 3inch ball up BUM and trying to poo it out for 7 HOURS'

(Thanks to DaninDallas)

WE’VE ALL DONE THIS

Kenya doctors 'perform brain surgery on wrong patient'

(Thanks to Jim Kenaston)

JUST WHEN YOU THOUGHT IT WAS SAFE TO RETURN TO FLATHEAD COUNTY

12:59 p.m. A Columbia Falls resident called 911 to complain that someone picked up their trash.

(Thanks to Jeff Meyerson)

IT DEPENDS ON WHAT WE ATE RECENTLY

What is the Temperature of Uranus?

(Thanks to Nelson from Michigan)

OOPS

Two suspected shoplifters making a run for it accidentally turned themselves in when they ran into a police station.

(Thanks to Patty Villanova)

STEP FORWARD IF YOU'RE INTERESTED, TRYING NOT TO FALL DOWN

Vancouver police seek 'volunteer drinkers' for sobriety test training

(Thanks to Roberto, John Criswell, DaninDallas and Chris Elzi, who says "I'm feeling public spirited.")

WE SAW THEM OPEN FOR THE CLASH

Ore. college campus overrun by wild 'gangster' turkeys

(Thanks to Ralph)

BE CAREFUL, VLAD, BECAUSE FLORIDA WILL STRIKE BACK

Putin boasts military might with animation of Florida nuke strike

Bobby Grawl)

KABOOM

A car blew up in Woodlawn Thursday after the driver spritzed an aerosol body spray in the vehicle and then lit a cigarette, according to Baltimore County Police.

(Thanks to Le Petomane, Janice Gelb and I’mNotDave)

NAME THAT STATE!

Man Reportedly Attempts To Rob 7-Eleven Store Armed With A Finger

Autoplay.

(Thanks to Stella Rondo, Le Petomane, Steven Pudlo and Barry Nester, who says "Luckily, the finger wasn't loaded.")

HE STARTED OUT IN WEST VIRGINIA

Uber ride home after hours of drinking cost N.J. man $1,600

Autoplay.

(Thanks to Fabian Marson and Bill Carver)

NOBEL PRIZE ALERT

Guy Makes Functional 2 X 2 Rubik's Cube Out Of Cheddar

(Thanks to John Lobert)

THIS CHANGES EVERYTHING

Birds Sleep in Giraffe Armpits

(Thanks to Ralph)

 
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