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January 30, 2018

WE SAW THEM OPEN FOR THE CLASH

NH bill would punish owners of trespassing chickens

(Thanks to Poker)

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Forgive us our trespassing chickens, as we forgive those with trespassing chickens.

Key quote:

"The law already makes such trespassing illegal when it comes to sheep, goats, cattle, horses or swine."

So, politicians in NH aren't allowed to range freely?

If you catch a trespassing chicken, naming it after a country singer like Johnny Cash, June Carter or Lyle Lovett is fine.

I saw Reckless Fowl open for Henny Youngman.

You can't legislate their irresistible urge to cross the road.

I call fowl.

KFC has offered to pick up all trespassing chickens free of charge.

Some legislators are concerned that this law would also apply to ducks, and they aren't sure of how to distinguish some domestic ducks from wild ones. As far as I know, they have not yet considered the problem of emotional support peacocks.

NH pays its legislators $100 per year. We get what we pay for.

But in my defense, I wish to state it was a FREE RANGE chicken.

Flathead Chicken is proud to be a resident of Montana, a state where a chicken can roam free.

Isn't this the state that says "Live Free Or Die"? Well, what about'cher chickens, man! And sheep, goats, cattle, horses and/or swine? Well? Why don't they get to, too? Where are those animal rights people, anyway?

Turtles. What about turtles?

The birds were taken to court. The ruling was 'you're goning to fry'

Shared billing with the Peafowl Support Unit?

Well, birds can really mess up the ice on a hockey rink -- Oh wait, it says "NH", I thought it said "NHL."

I see a new business opportunity. Tiny, miniature branding irons. Its either that or tiny chicken tattoos. This opens a new career field in NH, Chicken Tattoo Artist, which also doubles as a name for a new band.

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