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January 25, 2018

WE FAVOR THE DEATH PENALTY

Under California bill, waiters could get jail time for giving out unsolicited plastic straws

(Thanks to KJP)

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Inmate #1: Hey. What're you in for?
Inmate #2: Giving an unsolicited plastic straw to a customer. You?
Inmate #1, nodding: .. stir stick

Unsolicited Straws opened for Carrot Top and Gallagher.

Heckuva show.

How about giving California legislators jail time for introducing stupid unsolicited bills? I'm not sure what their rationale is for this one, but it sounds like a straw man argument.

What if you take an unsolicited napkin, tear the corner off, roll it into a little paper wad, shove it into your unsolicited straw, hold it up to your lips, and blow through the straw, causing the paper wad to become an unsolicited projectile? What's the penalty for that?

Probably best to outlaw the napkin, too.

C. Robbin, you'd probably get hard time in Leavenworth. Just bring back the old paper straws. I know they didn't work that well, and usually collapsed after a couple of sips through them, but it would be a solution. On the other hand, then you'd have shady characters standing outside restaurant doors trying to sell you an illegal plastic straw which would bring about even more problems.

Straw men don't take responsibilty seriously.

Least that's what I heard in the great noir films, like Boston Beanie Caps a Copper.

But what if a solicitor actually solicits a straw?

CA, our laws on straws are not like your laws on straws.

This bill would be the last straw.

They took a straw poll and people unanimously thought this law sucks and they didn't want their children growing up in a world remembering the Good Old Days when you got a free straw when you bought a drink.

Lenin lives.

Politicians rulling California are nuttier than squirrel poop.

We should enact a federal law where we fine you $1000 annually for being from California. $10,000 if you are in government.

They should consult with New York and figure out what the waitstaff should do if the customer orders more than one 16-ounce soft drink.

The "research" this bill was based on was tracked down to a 9-year old kid. https://reason.com/blog/2018/01/25/california-bill-would-criminalize-restau

That sucks.

The latest from the crazy consortium:
https://newatlas.com/sandwiches-global-warming/53128/

@ImNotDave: What's the carbon footprint if I just stay home and fry up three pounds of bacon?

@wanderer2575- It depends on whether grains are involved.

Mmmmmm, bacon.

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