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January 31, 2018

MEANWHILE IN FLATHEAD COUNTY

6:50 p.m. Someone was almost shot because of a hug. Meth was involved.

(Thanks to Roberto)

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"I shot a man in Hungry Horse just to watch him to die" - it's a country song that I am listening to right now.

"Hug me? YOU BASTARD" BLAM

10:32 a.m. An elderly Hungry Horse man dialed 911 while trying to “figure out” his new cell phone.
9:51 p.m. An 8-year-old who was trying to play music on their parents’ iPhone called 911 instead.

More proof that the young and the old are more alike than we care to admit.


7:32 p.m. A 15-year-old was “losing it.”

Pretty much describes any 15-year-old.


3:20 p.m. A Bigfork resident called 911 because he just turned 18 and wanted to learn more about his newly acquired rights.

You have the right to remain silent, you have the right to an attorney...

Thank God. I thought it might be opiods again.

This has to be one of the best editions of "... Flathead County..." ever.

I just hope they get that skipping family off the streets before they somehow enjoy themselves.

From the previous page (naturally, it was Florida man):

"3:53 p.m. A Florida man called Flathead County authorities because he received an enormous electrical bill for his cabin in Whitefish. He believed someone was illegally living in the cabin and wanted the cops to check it out. Law enforcement went to the man’s property but couldn’t find a cabin. The Florida man said he’d deal with it in the spring."

"5:54 p.m. A man almost fell asleep while standing in Kalispell."

I suppose this is better than paint drying.

If it was a Teletubbie, I get it.

The Kalispell resident who ordered the poodle that was not delivered planed to hire the local private eye, but he's standing up on the sidewalk nearly asleep while his family is happily skipping in the grocery store parking lot. Oh well, there's always next week and he didn't know now if he wanted a poodle. Maybe a goat might be a better choice. Then again, the grocery store has beer on sale.
Decisions are myriad and difficult to make in Flathead County.

That guy not receiving his mail-order poodle should look again inside the mailbox. If it is a miniature poodle it might be still there, stuck in the corner. Assuming it was sent whole, not in parts, for assembly, like an Ikea Poodle.

12:17 p.m. A local man said his boat was stolen from his girlfriend’s house and now he was thinking she had something to do with it.

Flathead: where crime never sleeps, nor do suspicions...no wonder crowds gather to watch a chicken! It might dance, poop, or attack!

Was that the CliffsNotes version of Flathead County?

Dear Local Man,
Your girlfriend either stole your boat or gave it to her other boyfriend.
When it gets to the point that we as a nation cannot legally skip across a parking lot then the terrorists have truly won.

Oh, so nursecindy is still alive, or is it undead talking?

Skipping family .. the Von Trapp Family Dancers!

Qaz, I am alive but still sick. I really hope no one here gets this flu. It makes you feel like death. I told my doctor yesterday to just shoot me. He told me to quit being so dramatic and to take my medicine and go to bed. Medical people can be so uncaring at times.

I'm sorry to hear that it is so bad. Got well soon.

NC, you must be getting at least marginally better since your sense of humor is still intact.

The skipping family were pursuing happiness as is their constitutional right.

The thing is, you can find a surreal experience in just about every edition. I am so getting a subscription when I retire.

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