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January 26, 2018

EUROPE IN CRISIS

52 baboons escape enclosure at Paris zoo

(Thanks to Jeff Meyerson, who says "Actually,  they were released after producing their valid Florida driver's licenses." Also Michael Parry, who says "The French Government has unconditionally surrendered." Also Alkali Bill and Drew, both of whom claim they saw 52 Baboons open for the Monkees. Also Allen at Division, who saw Mass Baboon Breakout open for Devo. Also Roberto, W. von Papineau and The Perts.)

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That old song everybody knows: "52 Baboons on the Wall".

The French zookeeper on duty at the time of the mass breakout said in an interview:
"It was terrible, just terrible. Baboons were everywhere, scampering around showing those long scary teeth. They just went bananas."

Didn't a group called Nena sing about this in the early 1980's?
99 big baboons,
roaming under the summer sky...

Cindy, I thought of that song too.

Red Baboons, especially their buttocks. Flying in the air.

We know who masterminded it.

"All but four of the baboons were captured using a net soon after the breakout, according to La Parisiene."

Baboons can use nets? Who knew?

Baboons--I fart in your general direction.

I saw Simian Redbottom open for Duran Duran.

No, wait, wasn't Simian Redbottom Harry Potter's original bunkmate at Hogwart's?

"As God is my witness, I didn't think baboons could fly."

- M. Carlson, French zookeeper

Send for Inspector Clouseau. He knows how to deal with monkeys.

Isn’t the collective noun for baboons a Congress?

I won’t risk mentioning tranqu arrows in case there is a miscommunication of intent

They were given asylum at the Ecuadorian Embassy.

We all know deep down who gave the order.

They were promised Nutella at a great price. It didn't work. (But of course, the humans, upon hearing that..)

OH, the humanity, er the primativity!

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